Category: Family

The joys of snow

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Old man winter decided to shower us with snow today. Finally.

Snowflakes danced on my nose and eyelashes as I ran through the neighborhood this morning. My IPod died on me ten minutes into my run. Irritation and anger raced through me for not charging it the night before. However, as I continued to run and pout, I heard vibrations of snow on the trees and a trio of birds still chirping away in the 15 degree weather. I changed my thinking: rather than be irritated for 60 minutes, I became grateful for the glorious morning and the snowflakes and the weekend and the opportunity to be by myself for an hour. The results were much better, indeed; I had a most enjoyable run.

Maria teaching Mario early

I came home to a trashed house – the remnant of a crazy week juggling colds, homework, work, and kids’ addiction to electronics. As I began to clean, I sat Mario down with a phonics workbook. He is having trouble with his ABC’s and we are trying to think of ways to help him learn them. When Maria was his age, she had numbers and letters down pat. Mario’s teachers tend to put less emphasis on rote memorization and more emphasis on creativity. I like that style of teaching but I still want Mario to learn the basics! Then again, he isn’t hitting Kindergarten for another year and a half so I should probably just chill.

All Maria needs to hear is that Mario needs to learn something and she transforms herself into “teacher-mode.” She set up a desk and asked Mario to sit with her. She quizzed him on letters and when he got them wrong she gently told him “that is not right, buddy; let’s try it again.”  He surprisingly hangs in there with her, even letting her lead in the ABC song. He gets to “LMNOP” and he mumbles something incoherent and continues on with Q and then straight to Y. I have no doubt that Maria will straighten him out and get him reciting his ABC’s in no time.  She is a born teacher – even giving Mario a report card based on his ABC’s (“You did ok but keep practicing.”).

After an hour and a half of cleaning, Jon and Patrick and Mario left for Marion to see Jon’s mom and dad, and I stayed home with Maria and Alana (Mario ended up staying with Grandma and Grandpa Ionno after just pleading to them one time to spend the night – he is spoiled). The girls stayed in Maria’s room for a while playing a game that scares me. One of them is the mom and the other the teenage daughter. The daughter screams at her mom and tells her she hates her and drives off in the family car. It seems to always start this way. A snapshot of the future? Let’s hope not….

Maria has inherited my ADHD so after a short time of playing that game, she was ready for something new. She threw on her coat and went outside to play in the half-inch of snow. Alana followed. I continued to clean the counters. Ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. I answered and saw the girls giggling around the house. I went back to cleaning. They rang again. I opened the door and they both lobbed tiny snowballs at me. I stood in the house with snow falling off me. Should I get mad about the snow in my house or the snow on my shirt? Should I get mad that they interrupted my cleaning.  No.  Instead I got even!

I threw my coat and shoes on and chased them around the yard until I got ’em both with snowballs. Since we were covered in snow, we decided to try to build a snowman. The snow was light and fluffy and sparse, which prompted both girls to tell me there was no way to build one.  But I always remember my dad’s actions on a summer day at the farm months ago. He had bought Mario a kite and Mario wanted to fly it but there was absolutely no wind. Everyone told Mario he could not fly it; that is, except my dad. He took him outside to give it a try. With a hill and a will, my dad ran down the hill with that kite flying high in the sky behind him. Mario jumped up and down with sheer joy on his face and we all stood in awe.

The girls with Alycia Snowy

And, following my dad’s footsteps, Maria, Alana and I made ourselves a sweet, little snowman. It took lots of work – the girls shoveled their hearts out – but we did it. Alycia Snowy Ionno is her name and she is a beauty.

Skippin’ Football Sunday

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The family woke up on Saturday and got working on cleaning our rooms.  It caused much heartburn in Maria on Saturday night – she worried that she would be bored cleaning her room.  “How can I make it fun, mom?” 

“I used to listen to music and dance around my room while I cleaned,” I told her.

A while later, she headed to her room to go to bed.  Jon and I were sitting downstairs when we heard Justin Bieber’s voice coming from upstairs.  A few minutes later we heard crying.  Jon went upstairs to see what was wrong.  Maria stood in her room with tears down her cheeks and told Jon “I am trying what mom told me to do but it isn’t working.  I am still not having fun.”  Poor thing….

That is why when we woke up on Sunday morning, I jumped out of bed and made cleaning fun!  I smiled and laughed and skipped around as I helped Maria pick up her room.  Mario jumped right in, too, picking up barbies and folding clothes.  Maria picked up a book here or there, made her bed and then moved on to getting dressed.  She is going to be one that takes two hours to clean her room on Saturday morning.  When we moved to Mario’s room, he lost interest in cleaning.  He was more concerned about jumping off his loft bed and doing kick stands around his room.  Maria helped me check the clothes on his floor to determine whether they were too little for him anymore and if they were dirty.  He somehow still does not understand where the laundry basket is located. 

Maria and Alana outside of the hospital with the flying pig

After cleaning, we got ready for the day.  Jon scooped up Mario under his wing, and headed to Dover, Ohio to visit Big Mario and Vicki for a day of pasta and wrestling.  I scooped up the Maria and Alana and headed to Cincinnati to visit my grandma in the hospital and to play at Aunt Julie’s house.  We listened to Big Time Rush for most of the ride and then colored pictures for grandma.  The kids were anxious to see grandma – I think they were more anxious to see “sick” people and the devices and instrumentalities of the hospital.  Neither of them remember a hospital.  They peered at the people in the hall and in the beds entranced by the fragility of life.  When they got to grandma’s room, they greeted her skeptically not quite sure if they should get near her.  As time went on, they got better at engaging with her eventually singing Christmas songs to her and talking to her about school.  Alana must have sung her 10 religious songs that she learned in Catholic school.  When Grandma asked Maria to sing a song, Maria belted out Jingle Bells!  My grandma looked at me and said “you need to get Maria in Sunday school.”  

After grandma’s, I took the girls to a delicious bagel shop in Blue Ash.  I grew up on these bagels and cream cheese.  They are fabulous.  We got toasted bagels with a load of cream cheese and sat at the bar.  Heaven.  Next, we headed to Julie’s to see her dogs and visit Grandma Lolo.  The girls LOVE to walk Julie’s dogs because they are just right for them.  Both are maybe 25 pounds and do not pull on their leashes.  They allow the girls to drag them anywhere.  A win-win situation for all. 

I went back to the hospital to be with grandma. We had a pleasant conversation about her friends, card parties, and needing solitude.  Us Menkedick brood all have that solitude gene in common – we need alone time to be our best.  We picked it up from grandma, I learned. When I returned to Julie’s house, the girls were downstairs listening to records on a Fisher Price record player.  Yes, records!  Maria was amazed at the looks of the record player, laughing at how I used to have to listen to music on such an antiquated device!

We hopped in the car to head back to Columbus.  Alana’s parents are much more strict than Jon and I and wanted Alana home by 7:30 since it was a school night.  We raced up I-71 in order to hit McDonald’s Playland for ten minutes (it has become a staple with each Cincy trip).  We got Alana home 1 minute late and proceeded to Orange Leaf for a frozen yogurt treat before bed. 

Mario walking up the long hill.

The boys met up with us at the house – they were exhausted from four-wheeling and wrestling all day.  Little Mario also decided that he was old enough to walk up the long hill from Mario’s shop to Mario’s house all by himself.  He got tired of waiting for Jon to finish his conversation with Big Mario and informed Jon that he was big enough to take the trek himself.  Jon agreed, not sure if he would make it or not.  But that boy has determination and will when he needs it and he made it.  

We all gave each other kisses hello, got in our pjs and headed to our beds – no time to watch football on this jam-packed Sunday….

Hangin’ with the Cousins

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Baby Grace

Liz and Baby Grace came to visit us today. Maggie and I were hoping she would come up and spend the day with us! Baby Grace has been my biggest fan lately running up to me when she sees me and begging to be held. I love the way that she chirps “Aunt Mary.” Mario showed her all around the house and played with her in Maria’s room. He tried to find books that she would enjoy, barbies she would like, and toys that were “baby toys.”

Maria taking Zach over!

Soon after they arrived, Maria came home from a sleepover with her friend, Zach (when are girls too old to sleep over at boys’ houses?!). Zach and her are the best of friends and the worst of friends. They play really well for an hour or two, and then they scream at each other non-stop. They both are passionate, loud people and neither will back down when they believe they are right (and they always believe they are right). Zach’s mom reported that they woke up by 8 am and by 11 am, it was time to split them up. Maria was bummed about coming home until she realized Gracie was here. She grabbed her up and gave her the “Maria Bear-Hug” smothering Gracie in pure love.

The kids danced to  Wii Dance Party 3. Mario and Maria both figured out that the number of stars you get relates to how well you followed the moves. They both get upset when they doesn’t dance perfectly. They should add stars if you sing along to the song – Mario would have the max. He tries to sing to every song. After we danced for a while and I carried Gracie to every room, we decided to get some lunch at Champps. Thank god for electronics. Maria and Grace played with my Iphone and Mario played his leapster allowing for Liz, Maggie and me to talk. A wonderful gift! How did Maggie and Liz turn from little babes to smart, funny, endearing women? I swear it was yesterday that I was changing their diapers and playing peek-a-boo with them!

The crew at Champps

After lunch, Maria opted to hang with Liz and Mag and Grace at Target and Mario and I went home. We got out the stroller (it hit 52 degrees today) and headed to Giant Eagle to find discount Christmas toys and candy. I supply M&Ms at work and getting the big bags for $1.00 is too good of a deal to pass. We also scored a baby doll for Gracie. On the way home, Mario asked me to tell him a story. Mario loves stories about him in different situations. Typically, he is in the forest saving animals or on a boat catching big fish. After my fourth one, I looked down and he was fast asleep (yeah, I have quite enticing stories)! It reminded me of when Mario was one-year-old and I used to stroll him around the neighborhood to get him to sleep. I miss those days… somewhat.

Making "grass" angels

When we got home, the girls were waiting for us. Maggie and Liz were on the couch watching football and Maria and Graice were playing in the basement. Maria loves to watch Grace and try to teach her things. But Grace is an independent little soul, too, so she often wants to do things on her own. This leads to frustration on Maria’s part and a bit of crying. We decided that we would take a walk with Gracie to see if she would close to Maria on the playground. Sure enough, Gracie started to take to Maria as we walked along and maria continued to play peek-a-boo behind the trees. When Maria made a “grass” angel at the park, Gracie was hooked.

When we got home, we sat around watching football, eating ribs and ice cream, and taking turns playing with the kids. Liz and Mag left around 7:30 and the house felt empty. Messy, but empty. When I took the kids upstairs to bed, Maria asked if Gracie could come over again soon. In a heartbeat, I told her. I miss the chirping of “Aunt Mary.”

Winter has arrived.

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Snow!

The New Year brought snow.  I should clarify – light flurries.  But that differentiation did not matter to Maria. She threw on her coat and gloves and hat and took advantage of the dusting of snow to make snow angels on the deck of the house.  Mario sat in his room sulking because Maria did not tell him she was heading out to engage in such activity.  The New Year also brought a stroll down memory lane.  Jon took the memory card from our camera and found a way to put the slide show on our giant screen tv.  Very cool.  The pictures were only as far back as a year ago but we still waxed nostalgia about how the kids have grown, how old our former house looks, and how relaxing and warm our trip to Cancun was in February 2011.

Waiting for the pool!

With the light flurries came blustery winds and temperatures in the teens with the wind chill.  We are not ready for this yet since we have been spoiled with 45 degree weather over the last two weeks.  So what is the best way to beat the winter cold blues?  Go to a swimming pool! Indoor , of course.  We dusted off our suits, found our goggles, called our cousin, Alana, and headed to the Dublin Recreation Center.  The kids threw on their suits in record time only to find out that they had to wait seven minutes for the rest break to end.  One aspect of the Dublin pool I dislike is that they have 15 minute rest breaks every hour.  You freeze.  Especially little Mario who shivers and turns purple.  I hold him close to me and feel his tiny body shiver against me. 

When they blew the whistles to jump in, Maria was the first to jump.  Alana was a distant second and Mario right after her.  He went swimming across the pool.  Maria gingerly walked on her tiptoes around the pool.  Alana clung to me.  Alana knows how to swim but she must still not feel comfortable with it.  She also likes to goof around with me and splash me.  I am so used to Maria doing this it didn’t bother me too much but I was hoping that her and Maria would play more together to let me chill.  Of course, Mario was also in his clingy state wanting me to act like a dinosaur.  He wanted to breathe fire on me and shoot lasers at me but he wanted me to live and just be hurt – not die.  He has specific instructions with all of his games. 

The pool has a lazy river that Alana and Mario loved.  Alana wanted me holding her hand the entire time and Mario wanted me to be within a foot of him in case he went under too long and needed help up.  I have gotten better at sensing when he wants me to hold him and when he wants to be left alone but every once in a while I grab him when he wants to be on his own and he growls at me.  I usually give him a look and he says “Sorry, mommy.”  At least he recognizes his issues too!  Maria went around the river by herself.  I would look over at her on the other side and see her laying her hair in the water letting the current push her along.  She is so calm in the water compared to Alana who is clingy and hyper (it’s funny because out of the water, it can be the opposite). 

 

Ready for the showers

Maria’s friend Zach arrived about a half hour after we got in the pool.  All was fine for a while but then Maria felt torn between Alana and him.  Zach wanted to go down the big slide (which Alana could not do) and Alana wanted to go down the baby one.  Maria looked at me with those big blue eyes and said “I feel torn, mom.  I want to be with Alana because she is my cousin but I also like Zach and they don’t want to do the same things.”  I explained to her that such a thing happens a lot and she just needed to split her time the way she felt best.  I also explained that she had brought Alana with her so she needed to be sensitive to that.  In the meantime, Alana only wanted to play with me so it didn’t matter.  But Ri stuck with us for the most part since her and Zach have about a 15 minute tolerance for each other before they spat. 

After the pool, the kids stood in the showers for 20 minutes.  Mario loves to stand under a hot shower and let it run over his head.  Maria and Alana just like to be goofy in it and act like they are famous stars.  Maria is also getting modest with her old age.  She did not want to get naked and dressed int he “main” locker area because too many people were around.  This was surprising from the girl who used to run naked around my aunt’s house to make my Grandma Heile laugh hysterically.  We sat with Zach and Grace and Amy in the lobby and ate pretzels and subway sandwiches.  We asked questions to the kids like “who would you most like to meet?”  Mario answered “my butt” while Maria and Alana answered “BIG TIME RUSH!”  When asked where they would like to visit, Maria and Alana both answered NYC because that is where Big Time Rush lives (not sure about that) and Mario answered with his stock answer: Hawaii.  Jon and I can picture him on his surf board with his blonde hair and chiseled little body riding the waves all day long. 

As we drove home, I looked in the rear view mirror.  Mario’s head was cocked to the side and he was fast asleep.  The holiday celebrations finally catching up to him.  Maria and Alana intently watched Thumbelina on the DVD entranced with the friendship between Thumbelina and Tom Thumb.  The snow lightly hit the car windshield and blew over to the grassy bank.  I took a few deep breaths and thought of Jon waiting at our warm home for us.  Winter has arrived.

Welcoming in the New Year

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This New Year is being brought in with potato chips, Taco Doritos, Gatorade, Wii Sports and telephone calls to grandmas and grandpas. 

The girls dancing to Justin Bieber

We completed our last round of party hosting last night with Jon’s family coming over for an afternoon and evening soiree.  Three of Jon’s brothers came over with their respective families, which led to ten little ones tearing through the house and ten older ones eating appetizers and drinking wine.  The kids range in age from 11 to 3.  They get along fairly well with the older two playing mother hens and the middle ones (like Maria) only butting heads with them every once in a while.  The girls wanted to be on their own to dance to Big Time Rush but the boys kept bothering them.  We finally got the boys upstairs by enticing them with swords and shields.  My niece, Shari (who is a year older than me!) brought her daughter and her daughter’s son, Isaiah who is a few months older than Mario.  Mario and Isaiah always wrestle one another when they meet up.  Isaiah has a good ten pounds on Mario and probably a good ten inches but Mario enjoys a tough match.  Isaiah is actually pretty passive with Mario.   Mario doesn’t understand that he would be pummeled if Isaiah used his natural strength.  One of these days, Isaiah may show him how tough he is, and Mario may learn not to provoke these boys so much.   Shari’s daughters are the two mother hens, and are loved dearly by Maria.  She loves to go over to their house and play, and they always come up with fun things to do.

The adults talked about old times, movies seen, and Urban Meyer.  The simple act of being together brings enjoyment to Jon and me.  We are glutton for punishment with all of these parties this year between all of the mess in the kitchen and the basement and the kids’ rooms.  But the chaos is well worth it when you hear the laughter and happiness echoing throughout the house.  And Mario got a new shovel from Kevin and Margie – he will love using that with Jon this year!

My aunts!

This morning I took a long run and packed up Maria and her cousin, Alana for a trip to Cincy.  Jon stayed home with Mario.  They bought new phones for the house and a new putter for Mario.  Their day consisted of playing golf, watching tv, wrestling, and playing golf again.  The girls and I headed to Cincy to see my aunts (my Aunt Terrie and her two boys came in from Georgia) and our cousins.  They all gathered at my Aunt Julie’s house, and when we walked in, the cousins informed me that they were taking Maria and Alana and I was going with my aunts to get a facial.  Not bad news at all! 

My aunts and I went to Macy’s for the facial – they told me I needed one now that I was 40!  The cousins walked around the mall hitting the toy stores and Disney store.  Maria and Alana enjoyed teasing the boy cousins and slapping them around.  They put up with a lot from these gals. 

Maria and some of her cousins

The girl cousins give me no reason to fear leaving the kids with them – they have a way to make things fun but orderly.  It was a gift to have some alone time with my aunts and to get all pampered up.  We are so goofy together talking about how hot we are and how we’re looking 20.  I love them dearly.  And my cousins, I adore them for their love and commitment to family.  When we got home from facials, all of the cousins were working on a puzzle on my aunt’s floor.  Some were watching tv more than working on the puzzle but they all sat together ribbing each other and having a good, relaxing time.  They are good role models for Ri and Mario.

And that leads us to tonight.  I have been writing this blog off and on for the last three hours.  Besides eating chips, we played Scavenger Hunt, read books, and played on our electronic devices.  At one point, Mario played on my Iphone, Maria on my Ipad, and me on my computer.  Definitely a sign of the times.  I made us put the electronic devices away before the ball dropped though.  With five minutes to go, we sat on the couch together.  We watched the ball drop at midnight huddled in a mass and giving one another the first kisses of 2012!

Bringing in the New Year (Mario ditched the phone before the ball dropped!)

Living in the Moment

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I am in full-blown new year’s resolution mode.  Thinking of what I want to change in 2012 and what I want to do better.  Trying not to beat myself up for the things I did not get accomplished in 2011.  Trying to recognize the things that I did accomplish.

Livin' in the moment at Darby Creek

One thing I worked really hard at this past year was being in the moment – with the kids, with Jon, with family, with work colleagues, with running, with wrapping presents, with washing dishes.  I recognize the times that I achieve this task because I walk away from the moment feeling fulfilled.  I still remember two years ago at our old house.  I had picked up Maria and Mario early from daycare in order to spend the afternoon with them.  We got home, picked out some chips and sandwiches and sat in the front yard for a picnic.  My phone rang.  I picked it up.  It was work.  I began to discuss an issue with my colleague.  I continued to make faces at M&M trying to show them I was there with them even though I was on the phone.  After 10 minutes, Maria rose up from the picnic and walked to the sidewalk.  She looked angry.  I tried to push my colleague to the end of the conversation but she kept talking.  Maria started crying.  I realized what I had done and hung up the phone.  I walked Maria and Mario to the alley in the back of the house.  We put Mario in his plastic “car” with a long handle on the back.  Maria went behind him and grabbed the handle.  We took off all the way down the alley.  Mario looked back at us laughing hysterically.  Maria looked up at me giggling.  And I breathed in that moment in order to have it forever.  Two years later I remember it like it was an hour ago.  That is what I want more of for 2012.  More clear moments with family and friends and myself where I allow myself to be fully present.

This poem by Mary Oliver is pasted on my desk and it always reminds me to live more in the moment: 

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Forts and Theo’s and the Stars

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Mario and Mama Meg and Taz this Summer

I checked in with Grandma Meg and Peepaw tonight to see if the kids were behaving. 

Peepaw and Maria at the farm this Summer

My dad answered: “Hellllo.” He sounded in good spirits.  The kids screamed “Hello” to me in the background.  My dad put it on speaker and a cacophony of voices came across the line.  Maria informed me that she ate spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread at Theo’s restaurant.  Mario informed me that they made a fort and dug for gold in the gravel driveway.  Dad chimed in to confirm that they were being good and sweet.  Meg informed me that dad and Mario lay in the Study together and look at the stars.  Maria surely makes Mama Meg play barbies with her. 

We meet them at noon tomorrow for the drop-off at Olive Garden.  Jon and I are excited to see them.  Maria and Mario do not know how lucky they are to have three sets of grandparents that provide them such unconditional love… and spaghetti and meatballs!

A little empty

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The kids went to the farm to hang out with Mama Meg and Peepaw for a couple of days since Jon and I had to work this week.  Jon and I went to dinner tonight and as we sat waiting on our lobster dip appetizer, we both lamented about how we miss M&M. 

M&M enjoying the woods this Summer

We get so excited at the thought of a night to ourselves but inevitably we both admit that we miss having M&M around us.  We miss their raptor-like hugs, their laughter, their off-the-wall comments, their excitement, their energy, and their sweet kisses goodnight. 

They are having a grand time with their grandparents – hiking around the farm, running with the animals, and playing board games.  And we are glad.  Very glad.  Very happy… but just a little empty.

Recognizing the working mom AND the stay-at-home mom

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I read an article in Time magazine this morning (Working Moms = Healthier and Happier) as I sat on one of the most boring conference calls of my career.  I had my venti miso and a slice of banana nut bread, however, which I enjoyed thoroughly in my quiet office free of screaming kids.

My initial reaction to the article was one of relief.  After all of these years of battling the guilty mother syndrome, studies vindicated that my decision to work was a smart one.  I would be healthier and happier than my friends who decided to stay at home with their children.  I wanted to call all of my mommy friends and announce the news; throw a party at the office for my mama colleagues.  But after 10 minutes of jubilation, I thought back to an article years ago that reported that studies showed working moms produced less attentive, more needy kids.  I thought about my reaction to that article – how I could not fall asleep that night because I questioned whether I was doing the right thing for M&M.  I doubted my love for M&M if I would choose to work everyday and not be home with them.  I scoured the internet to find articles that affirmed my decision to be a working mom.  And then I took a deep breath.  Turned off the computer. And took M&M out for a bike ride. 

M&M enjoying their bikes

I tune out these articles anymore because in the end, don’t they all say the same thing? The more love and support and encouragement that you provide to your children, the better off they will be in this world.  If I stayed at home all week with M&M, I do not think I would feel as fulfilled and as balanced as I do as a working mom.  I can’t say that for sure, and maybe in another life I will find that being a stay-at-home mom is the most incredible experience ever, but in my current life, this is how I feel.  I have worked hard to get to where I am professionally, and I enjoy the work that I do and the people I meet.  I want to be able to retain my connections and continue to work because I know that I will want that when M&M are older and in their own lives.  When they go off on their own in high school and college, I want to have my career and colleagues intact.  And I don’t feel like because I have my career now that I am forever scarring them. 

Happy Ri

did have my doubts when they were younger, and I still think that in a perfect world moms should be able to stay home for the first year of a newborn’s life (maybe the US will adopt Germany’s approach), but that was not a possibility for me at the time.  I had Maria when I was in the prime time of my career – six years out of law school and gaining expertise in the employment law area.  Again, who knows?  Staying at home at that time may have been better in some ways for Ri or even for me, but decisions have to be made with the facts at hand in the moment, and at that moment, I thought that I should stay in my profession and be a mom, too. 

I don’t like that the articles about stay-at-home moms versus working moms seem to pit one group against the other.  I don’t want to be one of those corporate moms that looks at a stay-at-home mom eating lunch with her kids and chides “Must be nice to stay home all day…huh?”   And I also don’t want to be the stay-at-home mom who shoots a condescending look to the working mom who just divulged that her kids go to day care because she works during the week.  I want to be the mom who sits around with other moms and appreciates that we are all different in our wishes and desires and hopes and dreams – for ourselves and our children.  What is right for me will not be right for everyone and that is OK.  M&M are pretty happy kids (albeit ornery at times, but happy!) and I don’t think that came out of the blue.  Jon and I worked our butts off loving them and holding them (all night long on many a night) and recognizing them and believing in them.  Let’s get some studies that recognize moms for those simple yet indispensable tasks.

Happy Mario

One down, three to go, two down two to go, three down, one to go…Finish Line!

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Christmas 2011

And so we end another Christmas season with toys scattered across the floor, chocolate wrappers lingering on coffee tops, and pants unbuttoned to make room for the holiday food resting snuggly in our bellies.  It feels like someone stood me up in the middle of a large room, twirled me around at lightening speed for three minutes straight, and then let me go.  Dizzy, light-headed, and a little lost but the excitement was well worth it. 

We started out with our Christmas Eve at my mom’s house and then my cousin Laura’s house (formerly my Grandma and Grandpa Heile’s home).  My mom’s house is always a whirlwind because we only have about 45 minutes to say hi, open presents, and get ready for Laura’s.  My mom agreed this year to limit the presents for the kids and ourselves but it still seemed like we gave too much even though the kids ripped through the presents in ten minutes.  My mom scored big this year with Ben Ten paraphernalia for Mario and Pet Shop and Barbie for Maria.  Each present that Maria opened garnered a big ol’ smile and a big ol’ gasp when she saw it no matter if she loved it or not.  What a ham and a sweetheart since I had told her it makes people feel good when you smiled and acted happy while opening a gift.  After the gift opening, Mario hit the treadmill for a bit (my mom calls it her $1000 toy for the kids) and Maria looked for food in the kitchen.  After we raided the cheese and crackers, we headed to Laura’s house.  

M&M iwth Robert, Kristen, and Cy

It is still strange for me to see my little cousins all grown up with Laura the oldest at 27 and Konner the youngest at 14.  The girl cousins are all in the 20-something range and lavish Maria with love and advice on how to deal with boys, how to brush her hair, and how to be polite.  The boy cousins rough house with Mario and teach him wrestling moves.   While teaching Mario moves, Robert commented to Mario that he was acting like a girl.  This comment threw Mario into a state of deep depression.  Jon and I found him outside of the house sulking and he finally told us why.  Jon, our family protector, had a few words with Robert, and he told Mario he was sorry and he was only kidding.  I would have never dreamt that such a comment would have bothered him, but you never quite know with Mario what he is going to take to heart.  The other day he was upset because Mr. Park made fun of his sweater by saying it wasn’t “ugly sweater day”; Mario went in the corner and sulked until Park told him he was only kidding. 

While the cousins entertained M&M, I talked with my aunts.  They always seemed so much older than me since I was a pre-teen and they were in their late teens or twenties.  Completely different worlds at that point.  But now I have a kinship with them since we all have or are experiencing a lot of the same – kids, jobs, mortgages.  Most of us have the bond of motherhood – we talk about how to deal with temper tantrums, moments we cherish with the kids, moments we wish we could forget and everything in between.  These women raised me and each time I see them, memories of my times with them flood through my head.  We enjoy the brief time we have together over the holidays with the male family members watching football and engaging in small-talk about hunting or sports or the latest event in the news.  This is home to me – this is what I have known since I was a newborn and it is comforting. 

Trying to get a picture of the cousins...!

The kids opened presents after dinner.  Every kid gets another kid’s name and acts as his/her secret santa.  However, Maria and Mario scored gifts from all of the aunts.  They had a boatload of presents to unwrap.  I was so proud of them as they tore through the presents.  Maria got a book she already had at home but she acted surprised and said thank you to my aunt (and then looked at me and gave me a nod).  Mario said thank you to every person that gave him a gift even before he opened it.  He got a bow and arrow from Robert and Cy (his cousins whom he idolizes).  Maria got i Carly lip gloss from Aunt Jane. 

After gifts, we talked and laughed a while longer and then hit the road for Columbus.  I still had to wrap a few gifts and get Maria’s Barbie Dream House out of the garage.  I am still so charged about that purchase – $30 from a fellow Grandview mom and it does not even look used.  Maria had no idea.  I just could not fathom buying a $150 dream house when I knew she would play with it for a short time and move on to something else.  Mario kept begging us for a Boy Barbie Dream House for him.  All I could imagine was a house with frat boys waiting for the “barbies” to show up. 

The kids fell asleep right when we left for Cincy (miracle), and did not get up until 7:45 am.  Nice present.  Maria stood by my side at 7:45 trying to cough gently to arouse me from sleep and then Mario, sleeping beside me, bolted up.  Is it Santa time?! We threw on sweatshirts and headed downstairs to see if Santa decided we were good this year.  THe kids tore through their presents with Mario getting Ben Ten everything and Maria getting random presents like a robe, drawing stuff and a Leapster reading game.  She walked over to Jon towards the end and said “I don’t think I will get the dream house because it is expensive.” When I brought it our for her, she nearly passed out.  She was so excited. 

My parents came to the house around 10 am and the kids got showered with more presents.  Overload city.  The kids tore through the next round with Mario again scoring mega Ben Ten toys and Maria getting serious bling from Mama Meg (she is known for getting Maria some sweet sweat suit get-ups!).  After we opened up our presents, the rest of the Menkedick crew arrived.  My 91-year-old grandma made the trip, which made the day for me.  Jon’s parents also arrived early to have dinner with us.  The dinner went off without a hitch except that we had to use my parents’ apartment down the street to cook one of the casseroles!  How do people make big holiday dinners with just one stove?! 

The Menkedick and Ionno clan with Grandma M. at the left

During dinner, Patty recognized my grandma for raising my uncle Bill and my dad all by herself.  She commended her for raising such wonderful “boys”.  I was so glad that she spoke up and recognized my grandma.  I don’t know how many people I have talked to about how amazing my grandma is for raising my dad and my uncle in the 1950s all on her own.  Never re-marrying.  Taking them on trips every year.  Making sure they were fed and went to good schools.  As open as my family is, we tend to shy away from sensitive subjects when we get together.  In our defense, we don’t all get together too often, so when we do, we want to keep the conversation light and upbeat.  But surprisingly, the conversation remained light and honorable.  My grandmother received much-deserved praise and gratitude from all at the table (even if she didn’t fully recognize it) and we continued to laugh and enjoy one another’s company.  

M&M and their cousins

After a big ol’ dinner and big ol’ dessert (peanut butter chocolate pie), we opened yet another round of presents.  After an hour, we finished the unwrapping (we go around with each person opening one gift at a time).  Five minutes later, Patrick and my niece and nephew arrived for dinner.  Rock-n-roll!  We switched out the table-cloth, got out new plates and silver, and began making the dinner.  Maria and Alana danced to Big Time Rush and Giovanni and Mario took a walk with me to the park.  I needed some fresh air after a non-stop day indoors.  Besides it was 42 degrees out – balmy for Christmas. 

We returned home for wedding soup, ham, green beans almondine, and potato casserole.  Mario had a break down because he wanted to sit next to Alana and Maria wanted to sit by her alone.  Maria eventually gave in to him like she typically does – Mario has it really good with her.   After dinner, we opened the last round of presents.  I think my cousin’s son summer it up well earlier in the day when I asked him if he is ready for his presents.  He replied “I have opened up too many presents today.”  Fortunately, I don’t think any of the Ionno kids felt that way and how could they with the big bags of goodies that Patty brings for them? 

The babes enjoying the season

When everyone left at 9 pm, Jon and I collapsed on the couch.  Absolutely exhausted but absolutely elated.  A NPR commentator summer it up well when she spoke about her holidays.  She told a story about experiencing the same exhaustion we had and her husband asking her why she drove herself to such a state.  She hosts holiday gatherings in order to honor her family.  I thought that was such a profound and relevant statement for me this year.  The joy I experienced in sitting with my Heile clan that I have grown up with all my years; the warmth I felt in sitting with my Menkedick brood that I cherish and respect; and the happiness I experienced in sitting with my Ionno family at the end of the night brought it all together in one tidy Christmas present for me.  The best present I could ask for 2011.