Tag: Love

The week’s highlights!

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Mario got selected to dress for the varsity basketball tournament last Wednesday. He got his name shouted out at the beginning of the game by the sweet basketball announcer (Jon) and although he did not get to play in the game, it had to be fun for him to sit on the bench with the kids. And his team won so they got back in the tournament on Saturday. They ended up with a last second loss but he’s got a Varsity letter under his belt!

Maria Grace got into the honors college at Pitt! All of the hard work that she has engaged in over the last two years has paid off. She was so excited to make the decision a few weeks ago to commit to Pitt so this was icing on the cake. Now, she should have a great chance of getting into a dorm that has AC! A must!

Mario has been kicking it in school this quarter. We had to course correct after the 2nd quarter grades came out (can we say “hair on fire”). He and I now review his classes for the day, and any work due the following day. We also work on projects he has due. He gets most frustrated with me over English work but we always end up in a fine place afterwards! I love spending time with him even if it sometimes veers to irritation. He got a 97 on his Bio test this week!

Maria got accolades from over 15 adults in Grandview after presenting to them about continued funding for her Robotics team. People texted me and Jon continuously after she presented raving about her presentation skills. One woman was amazed at how cool she was in front of older white men discussing “period boxes” which contain tampons and sanitary napkins for women in need. My girl!

Be happy with this moment

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My latest quote obsession. How I embodied it this week:

1. Watching Maria as lead attorney at her Mock Trial at the courthouse. She defended a student arrested after tampering with eggs for the school breakfast. The girl is a natural trial attorney. She grilled the witnesses on cross examination (and even got recognized by the Judge). She used inflection in her voice while giving the closing. She’s a natural. The judge awarded her “Most Outstanding Attorney.”

2. Playing Mexican Dominoes with Mario and hanging out in the kitchen with him and Jon. We spent nearly 3 hours, cleaning the kitchen and playing Mexican dominoes this afternoon. He was forced to hang with us because this was part of a consequence he earned, but he didn’t complain too much and we all had a really good time together. I kept trying to ask him questions he did not want to answer like what major he’d choose in college or what he likes most about himself. Jon knew he did not want to answer so Jon rang a little buzzer to alert him he didn’t need to answer. It was quite hilarious. Jon was able to get Mario talking a bit more than I was , and by the end, we learned a few more facts than we had known.

3. Watching Mario play basketball. Damn, he and his teammates are fun to watch! The game is so much more physical in high school, and Mario plays tough.

4. Watching Maria give tours at the new high school. Girlfriend was chosen to give a speech at the ribbon cutting, and lead one of the tours of the school. She has certainly positioned herself as a leader at that place, and ingratiated herself amongst her teachers.

5. Making food for the kids. I will be the first to admit, and the kids will be the first to inform me, that my cooking is not premier. It, frankly, is not even that good. But I can crank out microwavable foods and do a few things on the stove. The kids have learned to live with that. So, when either of them asks me to make them breakfast or lunch, I do it in a heartbeat. Mario asks much more than Maria. There is something about making their food that brings me joy. It is a way to take care of them now that they are so independent.

6. Watching the kids interact together. There is no greater joy that I can get than seeing the two of them talking together or goofing off together. Thank God Maria is the older sibling, and is a natural nurturer. Mario doesn’t know how good he has it. And Mario is good about loosening Maria up at times she needs it!



Kid cures

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I have been sick the past few days with some sinus funk. Just enough to make me feel crappy but not so much that I have to be bed-ridden all day. My kids and Jon want nothing to do with me because they don’t want to get sick – of course, the first thought with these types of symptoms is that I have Covid. Once I took the test and was negative, however, they still wanted to keep their distance. Jon has allowed me to sit in the same room as him – as long as we are a good distance apart – in order to watch a couple of shows together. My mom and I still talk in the evenings, which I appreciate in order to connect with another human. But I miss playing a game with the kids or taking a walk with friends.

I woke up this morning hoping to feel better but I still felt crappy. Maria, being the sweetheart that she is, agreed to play gin rummy with me as long as I sat 6 feet from her across the table. I begged her to allow me to take a walk with her and the pup but being the mother hen that she is, she refused. Just as she was getting ready to walk out with Rocco, Jon walked in with Mario who he had picked up from a sleepover. Mario asked where Maria was going, and I told him he should go with her. Surprisingly, he agreed to do so.

I think it’s been a year since the two of them walked together. I lit up with excitement. They looked at me like they always do when I get excited about something so mundane. They shake their heads as I put the collar on Rocco and energetically ask him if he’s excited to walk with them both. They sigh as I tell them to turn around so I can get a picture of them before they take off. I stare out the window as they stroll down the sidewalk with Rocco pulling on his leash. The thought of my babes walking together comforted me through the day.

Later in the day, my dad messaged our Adventure Team to see if we wanted to play cards. We jumped on a call within minutes but rather than start with cards, we engaged in funny faces and bouncy ball antics and trampoline jumping in order to entertain my brother’s daughter. He had been watching her through the day while his girlfriend worked, and informed us that Aliz had been wanting to see “her people”. This is the term she gives to our Menkedick clan. We all try to get in a few words about how our week has gone between blowing raspberries at Aliz and listening to Elena beg for us to watch her do a trick. It really is a crazy scene for anyone from the outside watching in but somehow it feels completely normal while we’re in it. It’s these times together that boost me up for the day. While they didn’t cure me of my sickness, they did make me forget about my aches for a while, and they lifted off the heaviness of the sinus funk. I mean, really, how can I feel crappy when I’m watching a munch ball Swedish toddler laugh heartily at my niece showing her dolls off, and my daughter rolling a super ball off her head?!

MLK

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I woke up yesterday morning still trying to figure out something for the kids to do to honor MLK’s legacy. I postponed my research on volunteer activities this year, and therefore, missed out on some events that needed pre-registration. When the kids were little, I took them to the MLK March downtown and to volunteer at the YWCA. However, in the past few years, we have not participated in an organized event (thank you Covid).

I spent an extra 20 minutes lying in bed this morning searching for activities around Columbus. I had no luck. I looked up articles about MLK to read with the kids. I watched a video on the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis. What shall I do?

Maria was downstairs on the couch working on her homework. I interrupted her studies to ask her to help me find something for us to do to celebrate MLK. She informed me that she had woken up in the morning and already acted. I was confused. “What did you do”, I asked her.

“I read about education reform, and called Senator Rob Portman to express my concerns about the segregation of the education system.”

Huh?

“Yea, here is the site if you want to take action. You can also call the Senator to express concern about CRT and student debt. The site has a script you can read off of if needed.”

Well, I’ll be darned (as one of my relatives used to say when I was growing up). My girl had already taken action without me even asking. It was a proud moment, and I teared up. Maria looked at me as if this was no big deal – second nature to find a cause and take action. Jon and I did something right with this girl. She is on her way to improving public policy and changing this world for the better.

On the other hand, Mario was already out sled riding by the time Maria and I connected. He was enjoying the day off with his buddies. When I picked him up at his buddy’s house, I asked him what we could do to honor MLK. He was at a loss for ideas. Lesson learned with this kid for next year. I need to plan something for he and I to do.

He ended up agreeing to write a letter of appreciation to his grandma for her service to her grandkids, including Mario. He wrote about how grateful he was for all of the love and dedication she provides to him. It was a token of love in honor of MLK. He also was forced to play a boardgame with me and Maria. We played Monopoly – haven’t played that game together in quite some time. His love for money came out strong. When Maria and I play, we tend to feel bad if we are taking others’ last dollars. Not Mario – he relishes every moment and rubs it in. After he beat us, I told him I would not be worried about that love of money as long as he took a portion of it and did some thing good for the world with it. He agreed. That’s a win.

In the evening, we all sat down for home-made ribs Jon cooked on his new smoker, and talked about Mario going to high school and Maria’s thoughts on classes he should take. We said a prayer of gratitude to Grandma Menkedick whose birthday was on the same day. I made vinegar-based cole slaw in her honor (hers was much better).

I was grateful for the family dinner. Watching Jon love on his ribs was delightful. Listening to Maria talk about her socialist self playing a capitalist game in Monopoly was amusing. Play jabbing Mario as we ate brought joy. Being present to notice all these things shows I’m learning – learning to embrace the moment and allow the joy to seep in.

Thank you Dr. King for your work, and your commitment to justice and equality.

Mario and fairy books

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Maria has innate compassion and nurturing genes in her body. She has always been a caretaker. When Mario was born, she would beg to give him his Binky or put him in his swing or feed him his smashed peas. I have a ton of pictures – back when you had to develop them – of the two of them together and inevitably, Maria’s arm is always wrapped around Mario. His protector.

In preschool, she had a girlfriend who was petite and quiet. Whenever another child would boss her around, Maria would step in and protect her. The girl’s parents nicknamed Maria “the muscle.” This weekend, Maria and I were just getting ready to sit down to play a card game. Her phone rang and she left to talk to her friend for a few minutes. She came back and told me that her friend needed to stop by. Within a minute, I heard the door open. Her friend was sobbing; Maria wrapped her arm around her friend, and walked with her down the stairs to her room continuously whispering “you will be ok.”

Mario did not quite inherit the compassionate and nurturing genes.  That is not to say that he doesn’t care for others; he just doesn’t have that automatic response of nurturing and caretaking. He expresses his care and concern by trying to make people laugh – by being goofy. When he was in preschool, he would get up in front of all of his friends and perform a crazy dance (he loved Gangnam Style). When one of his friends took a nasty fall while they were skateboarding, he jabbed him with playful jokes to keep him laughing until I arrived to take him home. Last week, I had a crappy day at work and he amused me with his little quips.

I have made Maria do more volunteer activities with me than Mario. This is partially because the moms of Maria’s friends tend to plan volunteer events more often than the moms of Mario’s friends. It is also because she didn’t put up as much of a fight as Mario did when I talked about doing something for those in need.

Lately, I have been lamenting about not pushing harder on Mario when he puts up a fight about volunteering. He needs to gain some perspective when he starts begging me for $150 pair of basketball shoes for the upcoming season. I have told him that there may be a possibility of purchasing such shoes but it does not come without putting forth some effort for others. Accordingly, he has agreed to put together hygiene kits for men at the homeless shelter along with a few of his friends. We are heading out this week to buy the supplies and then put them together to deliver. It just takes me putting forth some effort to get him to do it.

But I was excited to see him come downstairs on his own last night and read a book to Elena with me. I had mentioned reading to Elena over dinner with him and Maria and Jon last night. I threw in a comment that it would be really nice if the kids or Jon joined me for a chapter or two. They all rolled their eyes.

I situated my computer at the dining room table, and jumped on Facebook messenger with Elena. I was just getting ready to start reading the Weather Fairies book when Mario trotted down the stairs to join me. Elena started giggling like she always does when Mario enters the screen. I gave Mario the parts of Kirsty to read.

To my delight, he completely acted the part. He raised his voice up a few octaves to mimic Kirsty’s voice. Elena cracked up every time he read off the page. He read a chapter with us, and then I allowed him to head upstairs to finish his homework. I spent another 45 minutes reading to Elena. I didn’t make her chuckle like Mario had but we did have fun reading about the goblins and talking about the different weather fairies.

I visited Mario in his room after I finished with Elena. I told him how happy he had made Elena by simply reading a chapter of a book to her. I explained how a simple gesture can mean a lot to somebody. 

I recall telling my dad about taking a walk in the woods without looking at my phone the entire time. We had been talking earlier in the week about needing to disconnect more often. His response via text was “baby steps.” That phrase came to mind as I left Mario’s room and went to log off the computer for the night.





Taking the plunge – happy 13th Mario!

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I have watched this video about 100 times since it came up in my feed a few weeks ago. At the time it popped up, Mario had been teasing me about turning 13. He knows how much it kills me to think of him turning into a teenager. Every night, he approaches me and pokes my shoulder stating “Mom, you know I’m turning 13 soon.” He secretly waits for me to plead for him not to turn 13 and stay my baby. He knows he has my heart, and I will do anything for him. Jon always teases me that I need to cut the umbilical cord.  I do find myself still fetching him water when he asks for it, although I tend to do the same for Maria (she just asks for it less than he does).

This video took me back to the years before he turned double digits – when he would routinely want to be by my side. I recall trying to tip toe down the stairs in order not to wake him so I could go out for a morning run. Inevitably, as soon as one of the stairs would creek, I’d hear him loudly whisper “mom”. I would try for another step and then hear “mom” again but in a bit more anxious tone. Some days I could head up the stairs, go into his room, and convince him to go back to bed because I would be back really soon. He would typically call my bluff and tell me that I wouldn’t be back for another two hours. I would tell him that as soon as I got back we would do something fun together. I would say about half of the time, this worked. The other half of the time, I bundled him up and threw him in the stroller to take my run with me. We would play different games like who could find the most birds on our run, or 20 questions, or spot the bunnies.

Because he and Maria wanted to be around me every weekend, we had to come up with things to do. My daredevil Maria thought up ziplining to end the summer and bring in the new school year. I believe Mario was going into first grade in this video so he was probably close to six years old. He was all for the zip lining adventure until he got onto the first course. He saw how far down the ground was, and refused to go. Luckily, the instructor convinced him to go with him. We only did five zip lines that day and Mario insisted on the instructor for the first four of them. After each one, Maria would encourage him to do the next one by himself. He would sit there pensively, like you see on the video, and then decide that he wanted the instructor. I don’t recall what we said or did on the fifth line to get him to finally do it by himself. I’m sure Maria was putting the major pressure on him and as you can see in the video, I was trying my hardest to cheer him on. I knew if he didn’t do it that he would be mad that he didn’t give it a try by himself. I know my child – it may take him until the last minute, but he will want to be able to say he tried it. Whether it’s ziplining or basketball or just being a good human, Mario wants to do it well. As he gets older, he may put up a façade about not caring or try being too cool, but deep down inside, I know that he is a good human and can accomplish what he sets out to do. What he has set out to do lately is play good football and fish like a world-class fisherman.

My dad was a huge help in purchasing a fishing kayak for his 13th birthday. Mario had been pleading for the last month about getting a fishing kayak for his birthday. He knew he would not get anything else if he asked for that yet he still wanted it. He sent me a picture and I forwarded it to my dad to get his two cents. My dad did his typical dad research and found that it was a really good fishing kayak. He also was able to locate the one place in three states that still carried it. He drove to West Virginia to purchase it before Mario’s birthday. It came with a crappy paddle, which of course he had researched, so he drove over to Marietta to purchase a good paddle from one of the sporting stores. To top it off, and just because he is the type of dad and grandpa who thinks through everything, he stopped at the local marina, and got the kayak registered.

Sure enough, Mario begged to go to Seneca Lake after he was escorted to his present at the farm. My dad, of course, agreed to take him down there. I went with my niece so I could see how he maneuvered this new present of his. My dad and I were both amazed. There he was, before we had even kayaked over towards him, standing in his kayak and casting his line like a fisherman who had been fishing for 30 years. While Mario was in his element, I paddled around with a Elena who enjoyed touching the lily pads and pointing out the flowers. I looked over my shoulder several times to find my dad 20 feet from Mario watching him cast his line and try for a fish. What a sight as a daughter and a mom – my heart was full. My dad eventually came over to video Elena paddling the kayak. Sure enough, about a minute later, we heard Mario shouting “I got one!”

We quickly paddled over to Mario. He had a huge grin on his face and proudly rose the fish to his chest to show it off. My dad, the proud peepaw, immediately awed about the huge size, and Mario continued in the awe. “It’s gotta be at least 2-3 pounds!”

These are the moments that make this crazy life worthwhile. The joy on Mario’s face as he held the fish high in the air. My dad’s million snapshots of Mario with his fish that I scrolled through later in the night. Elena’s quips about Mario needing to catch a “giant popper.” It reinforces my belief that a good life is all about creating experiences, and having that connection with the people near you experiencing the event with you.

My son is an avid fisherman at age 13 (I typed 12 and had to delete:)). He swears he will be heading to Canada as soon as he graduates high school (earlier if we’d let him), owning a bait shop, and fishing everyday. Jon and I half believe him. He has mentioned to me on several occasions (usually when I’m on work calls at 10 pm) that he would never want a 9-5 job and have to work all hours of the day. I’m glad my work has provided that enlightenment to him:)

If you listen closely to Mario in the video, you will hear him whisper “I can do this.” I don’t know that I heard this on the actual day – I was too busy rooting him on. I listen to it now and I am filled with emotion – pride at raising this brave soul, admiration for his drive, joy in being around him, immense love for his entire being, excitement about what’s to come for him.

Here’s to taking those plunges, Mario, and living life to its fullest. Happy 13th!

Love you!



Vinegar!

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A Facebook memory popped into my feed a few weeks ago. It was a video of Maria and Mario, probably ages six and four, sitting on our kitchen floor with a variety of objects in order to perform a science experiment. I remember purchasing the boxed experiment – it looked like something we could handle. All you needed was some baking soda, vinegar and food dye to create an erupting volcano. Those were the days when I would search Target and Giant Eagle for any craft, experiment or toy to add to our weekend days.

We probably had taken a run in the double BOB stroller that morning to Giant Eagle to purchase the volcano fun. I could usually get in at least a couple of miles prior to hitting Giant Eagle if I promised the kids a donut from the donut case. I sometimes made them bring a hard cover chapter book to read to me while I ran with them. Again, the promise of a donut can work wonders….

I faintly recall helping them with the volcano that day. However, it may be more of a re-creation of my mind after watching the video over and over. It is hard to remember back to those days when they were that young. I can recall feeling like those days lasted forever – waking up at 6 am and going all day until 9 pm. Stroller ride, walks, park, lunch, games, reading, paint, snacks, Dora….

I remember getting a small break to go to Stauf’s and read a few pages of a book while eating a darkly toasted bagel. It was heaven to escape the long days with the kids. I also remember telling myself that I will miss those long days when they get older, but I had no idea of how exactly it would feel because I was so engrossed in the everyday with the kids. What would it be like to wake up and not have Mario plead for me to stay home with him rather than go on a quick run? What would it be like to be swimming with Maria and not have her constantly ask to play an underwater game? What would it be like to go to the park and not have both kids pull on me to tackle the obstacle course and slide down the slide with them 10 times over? How absolutely exhausted I was at the end of those days, so how can I yearn for them so much now?

Crazy ass universe. What I would do to cradle those small feet and toes right now. What I would do to have that tiny sweet hand grab mine as we walk down the street. But, if I am honest, I have no desire to go back to the days of getting up at 6 AM and having to give my full attention to those humans all day long. It was exhausting and it was for a time that I could handle it. That time period is not right now. So I need to embrace where we are today. Two grown kids at over 5 feet tall, both with gargantuan feet, both with their own viewpoints, both happy and comfortable in their skin. When I look back to that video again, I see traits in the kids that remain with them today. Mario with his goofiness and desire to make people laugh, and Maria with her pedagogical style and desire to be in control.

Ten years ago I could never have imagined where we are today. Today, I can’t imagine having two kids in their 20s. So, what is the lesson? To totally absorb these times that I have in front of me right now because I will soon look back at the videos I am currently making and lament at how the time flew by.

https://www.facebook.com/mary.m.ionno/videos/10151705524597508/?extid=XKT9l8mb7l49ppcs&d=n

Mama’s day 2020

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“Is this good, mom?”

Maria knelt on the soft dirt and pushed the mulch between the irises. She was trying to use the fresh mulch sparingly so as to not waste it. She is her mother’s daughter when it comes to trying to save money. On the other side of the driveway, Mario poured out bags of mulch and left it 2 inches high to spare himself having to kneel down and spread it. He is his father’s son when it comes to penny pinching.

The neighbor’s yard displays beds of bright red tulips and manicured bushes sitting in pristine mulched beds. Maria and I have been lamenting about our yard’s aesthetic value for days, which continues to decrease each time our neighbors are out working in their yard. So, when Jon agreed to run to the store and buy mulch, I thought I should take advantage of the kids’ agreement to do whatever I wanted them to do on Mother’s Day. They had already been forced to take a 2 mile walk on the bike trail with me so they were undoubtedly hoping that their deeds were done. Ha, never.

Maria was the first one to come out and help. This is the typical case in situations where I need assistance. Maria is always the first one out to help unload the groceries. Mario takes his time so that all of the trips have been taken before he has to carry just one last bag inside.

Maria hopped in the back of the pick-up and heaved bags of mulch my way. She was hysterical to watch as she attempted to lift the bags with every ounce of muscle in her body. We dragged two bags over to our ivy-soaked oak tree and dumped the black mulch onto the ground. We worked together on opposite sides of the tree evenly spreading the mulch.  Neighbors passed by and commented about how good the mulch looked. Mario finally came out; Jon directed him to work on the patch of sticks and dirt by the driveway. Jon nudged me a few minutes later and told me to look over at him. He had his camo bucket hat on his head and was pulling weeds from the dirt. Ri was busy leaning over the stone wall to smooth a clump of mulch.

Peace. Appreciation. Love.

I could have been struck dead at that moment and left this earth in a good place. The sensation starts in my chest. It’s a lightness, as if all the blood has been drained and my chest is floating up in the air like a balloon. My mind ceases producing all of the bullshit chatter it is used to spitting out, and absorbs the delicacy of the moment. My babies working next to me, accumulating dirt stains on their forearms and shins.

Prior to mulching, they begrudgingly took a few walks with me throughout the day. One of the walks took us to our old stomping grounds along the river. We walked past the rocky bank where I used to pull the double stroller over, and carefully lead the kids down the jagged rocks to the river. They took joy in throwing stones as far as they could hurl them into the water. Mario would call out “watch mom” incessantly as he threw a bigger rock into the river to try to make an even greater splash. He is still that little boy calling out my name today as he picks up random rocks and hurls them into the calm river. Maria was never as interested in hurling the rocks; she would throw a few in camaraderie with her little brother but then she would choose to take off her shoes and socks and dip her feet in the water. She liked to feel the sensation of the water on her feet and fingertips. Mario wanted nothing to do with feeling water on him – he would freak out every time Maria splashed him. He just wanted to hurl rocks and jump from boulder to boulder. 

These babes have spent their lifetime with me. How weird is that? They have never known of life without me. They have come to understand this world, in part based on what I have taught them or how they have seen me engage with the people and things. Shit.

That is concerning.

The times I have not been working I have spent with them.  I did not go out for drinks on Friday nights with girlfriends because I wanted to spend the time with the kids. I did not attend work events because I would rather be at my kids’ soccer game or recital. I put myself in ridiculous looking swimsuits and hit the pool to dive off the boards with the kids because they loved to watch how scared I would be going off the high dive. 

I gave them and continue to give them all of the love that I could possibly muster. It is easy to do, after all, because they are my babies. It comes naturally. I can’t imagine not loving them with every ounce of my being.

However, I often still find myself wondering what more I can be doing in this life – helping out at the local shelter, participating in a food drive, teaching homeless kids…. I beat myself up about not doing more…I should take the kids to the shelter more often, I should start a non-profit, I should register for the latest 5k to stop Alzheimer’s…

Then I read this from Glennon Doyle:

“Were you afraid that you’d been so busy loving your people that you forgot to do something important?

Because what I’ve learned from you is that there isn’t a damn thing more important than loving your people.

Do you wish you’d written a book? A book? Mama, your love has written the entire world of our family into existence. The characters in your story are bold and brave because your love made them that way. Our plot line is love and courage and hope and steadfastness. Our family is a beautiful story, Mama—and the hero of our story is you. You are the hero. You are the one. You created this family and you watch over it and tend to it and delight in it and you are the closest I’ve ever come to seeing God, Mama.

And here is the moral of your story: You taught us that what matters is love, and that love is relentlessly showing up for your people.

Because of you, we will always remember that the most world-changing work we can do is this: We can live in a way so that our children will be able to say, Not one moment of my life did I wonder if I was adored. Never, ever did I feel alone. And they will pass it on.

(Full post https://momastery.com/blog/2020/05/09/to-my-mama-who-taught-me-the-most-important-thing/)

How beautiful is that? What a wonderful way to think about all the energy we put into our children and the lack of energy we often have to put into other areas. We are raising humans who will be able to love other humans, who will feel comfortable in their skin, who will know how awesome it is to be loved and adored. I will have succeeded if Ri and Mario grow up and think “not one moment of my life did I wonder if I was adored. Never, ever did I feel alone.”

Nuggets!

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So I am learning day by day to try to appreciate certain moments experienced during the long, shelter-in-place days. It can be hard to do, especially when you wake up in the morning and realize you are still in the midst of this pandemic and that you have a full day ahead in the house or walking around the block.

But then there are those moments – that wake you up from your Groundhog Day slumber – and provide a renewed look on life. Mario came downstairs for dinner one night this week and told us he wants to make Chick-fil-A nuggets for dinner. He had seen a TikTok video where a guy made the nuggets from scratch. We kind of brushed him off, after all, who is going to listen to a TikTok video for a recipe?But the next morning he asked if I had gotten chicken strips for him to make the nuggets. I so happened to have bought chicken strips to make for me and Maria’s lunch that day. We had all of the other ingredients needed for the TikTok recipe so we decided to allow Mario to make us dinner for the evening.

Now, you have to understand, Mario doesn’t make dinner. Sweet Maria has been cooking since she was around four years old and has made us scores of amazing dinners through the years. Mario has sat back and enjoyed them. So I was a little doubtful that he would actually come through and make these nuggets himself.

But sure enough, as 5:30 rolled around, he placed his phone on the counter and began to watch his video. He proceeded to crack some eggs in a bowl and add milk. He measured out flour and powdered sugar into another bowl. He asked if I would put an inch of oil in our big cooking pot and cut up 1 inch cubes of chicken. He tasked Maria with making the sauce for the nuggets – she chose to make Cane’s sauce because she believes it’s much better than Chick-fil-A sauce. Mario monitored the amount of ketchup and mayonnaise she was adding into the mix and asked to taste test it with each new ingredient she included. When the oil started to bubble, he directed me to be prepared to stir the coated nuggets after he cast them into the oil. He was like a five star chef dictating what needed to be done in the kitchen. 

He took two pieces of chicken and rolled them in the egg mixture. Then he dipped them in the flour and powdered sugar and rolled them over and over until they were heavily coated. Finally, he tossed them into the boiling oil in order to avoid getting splashed. I was in charge of turning them over and over while they fried in the oil to ensure that they got toasted on every side. At first, we were a bit concerned because they were not getting too brown. But then magically, after three or four minutes, they started to brown and look just like the Chick-fil-A nuggets from the restaurant. Woo-hoo!

We used tongs to lift them out of the oil and place them in a bowl. Jon acted as taste tester and nodded with approval. Mario had succeeded! He allowed me to help dip the remaining nuggets in order for us to be able to move the assembly line a bit quicker and get to our dinner. Nothing like some fried foods to comfort you in a pandemic – Chick-fil-A nuggets and french fries.

 The time spent in the kitchen with Mario so intent on getting the chicken perfectly coated and Maria trying hard for the perfect combo of mayo and ketchup made my day – literally, made my day. I try to remember that the days are long and often monotonous with work calls, lunch, walk around the woods, work calls… But damn if these moments together, if only constituting 1/25th of my day, keep me hopeful and instill much appreciated bits of joy.

Snarky and sweet

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I got sick two weeks ago on a Wednesday. It started as bad congestion and chest pain. I swore it was pneumonia. The doctor belied my belief and checked my lungs and nose and ears.

“It’s a virus. Nothing you can do but rest.”

Are you kidding? I can’t afford to be sick for the remainder of the week. I asked again if there were any drugs I could take. He reaffirmed the negative. I drove home giving myself a pity party. Eventually, I tried to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had needed a break from working out – my muscles were sore, my feet hurt. The universe must have known the only way I’d stop my routine would be to be taken out by a sickness. But I had no idea it would be a 10 day sickness. Yikes. I haven’t been sick for that long of a period of time in years. Again, in retrospect, the universe probably knew that I needed to have this sickness for that long of a period of time in order to give my body a rest. It is amazing now that I am feeling a bit better how rested my muscles feel. Imagine that!?

Anyway, in the thick of my sickness, probably day five, I tried to take the dog on a walk to the woods. It was a short walk – maybe 15 minutes tops. I saw a man who I see routinely in the woods with his German Shepherd. He is always friendly. He’s probably about 60 years old. He stopped me to say hello and ask how I was feeling. He could probably tell that I was not feeling the best due to my watery eyes and red nose. He proceeded to tell me how he got a really bad chest cold and major congestion. He told me that the worst of it lasted four weeks and five weeks later, he still doesn’t feel quite the best. 

“Are you kidding?!” I blurted at him. I wanted to kick him for giving me this information. I was already in a state of depression feeling like I would never get better. Five days of sitting around the house, anxious about not being able to breathe, not being able to sleep well at all, took it’s toll on me. I was fretting every night about trying to sleep. I couldn’t shake the thought that I was going to lose my breath in the middle of my sleep. Hence, not being able to sleep at all.

When the kids got home that evening, they came to check on me. Maria would provide me with tissues and Mario would take my temperature. I told Maria about my conversation with the man in the woods. She immediately responded with consoling words.

“Mom, he’s a lot older than you and he probably is not in any kind of physical shape that you are in. You work out all the time and you are healthy. It will not take you for weeks to get better. Do not listen to him about that.”

Later in the evening, Mario came in to check on me. He was hoping that I felt good enough to play a game of mini hoop. Not so much. I told him as well about my meeting with the man in the woods. He stood in front of me looking quizzically. Then he responded with sarcasm.

”Wow, mom, you only have three weeks left before you feel better, then! All right, let’s countdown these next three weeks.” He walked out of the room to grab some cheez-it’s. He came back in and bent down towards me whispering “hey mom, only three weeks!”

The difference in our kids. Maria went immediately to consoling me and making me feel better that it would not take three weeks in order for me to be alive again. Mario went immediately to taunting me and making me feel it would take an entire three weeks to recover.

Funny thing is that it could easily have been the other way around. Maria can be just as snarky as Mario (“Mom, you are seriously wearing that shirt – you look 85 in it”) and Mario can be just as caring as Maria (“Mom, you don’t need to put on makeup; you are beautiful without it”).

I adore these two so very much. Even when they’re snarky, I know they do it with love. As I laid around feeling crappy for ten days, one of the thoughts that kept me going was conversations with these two munchies. They are certainly coming into their own – be it snarky or sweet….