Tag: joy

Zonta winner!

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A few months ago, Maria mentioned over dinner that she had to attend a leadership conference for a couple of hours during the upcoming weekend. Jon and I asked who the sponsor was of the conference, and how she got invited. She informed us that she had been chosen by her high school to  participate in the program, and thereby be eligible for a scholarship. Neither I not Jon had heard of the organization before but trusted it was valid since the school nominated her.

Maria returned home from the event that Saturday, and told us nonchalantly that it went well. She said she got to meet some other senior girls and enjoyed talking to a couple of them:) She also informed us that she did not believe that she would receive any scholarship because the other girls she met had done things ranging from creating their own business to already attending pilot school at the age of 17.  We responded that we thought she was awesome and that was all that mattered, and we all went about our business.

A few weeks after the weekend event, she told Jon and I that we had to attend a banquet with her to honor the 12 girls from Central Ohio who had been selected for the scholarship. The banquet was this past Sunday. We all got dressed up (an easy task for Maria but not for me and Jon!), and hit the road to a country club up north. We were greeted by two women at a table who asked for Maria’s name. They gave us name tags and we situated ourselves at a round table near the podium. Jon and I proceeded to get some finger foods while Maria held court at the table talking to one of the Zonta leaders. She was so worried about me and John acting appropriately. When we arrived back with her finger food, she immediately gave me a napkin. Assuming I will get the food all over me.

Ten of the twelve girls made it to the event with their parents or guardians. Each girl got a few minutes to go to the podium and make remarks after being introduced by a Zonta Representative. Zonta International is an organization promoting women in several areas of study. For this event, Zonta honored young women who were advancing in the field of public service. At the end of the event, Zonta would offer the Young Women in Public Affairs (YWPA) Award, which recognizes young women for demonstrating leadership skills and commitment to public service and civic causes, and encourages them to continue their participation in public and political life.

The first young woman got introduced and spoke about participating in 4H. Another young woman talked about how she believed in providing healthy food for other kids at school and started her own healthy vending machine. Another girl talked about being a sexual abuse survivor and assisting other survivors.  some read from notes, others winged it. When it was her turn, Maria approached the podium.   Neither Jon nor I knew what she would talk about because she wanted it to be a surprise. She spoke about her experience in federal court, and witnessing a young man being detained in front of his children. She talked about how we needed to change our laws and societal norms so that they were not directly and indirectly harming the underprivileged. She dazzled me. Jon gave me a side look of pride.

After all of the girls spoke, the president of the Columbus chapter informed us that they had three awards to give out. First second and third place. Maria made sure that Jon and I understood that she was not going to get an award or if she did, it would be third. They started out with third place – i gave that motherly look to Maria wherein she knew I would be proud of her no matter what. Maria’s name was not called. I started to think about what I could tell her if she did not win an award. Second place place was announced – not her. I continued to think through words of wisdom I could provide her after the event was over. Then, the president announced the first place winner…. Maria Ionno! What the holy heck! Jon had a tear in his eye that Maria immediately noticed, and couldn’t believe. I had tears down my face as I watched her go up to accept her award (she knows me and my crying so it did not affect her).

Our girl has put so much time and effort into service activities. And it is not as though she does it to get credit or to try to win money; rather, she does it because she really believes in the causes and in our duty to support people in her community. This is what makes it all the more incredible. She was just as taken aback as we were when her name was announced. Afterwards, a few Zonta leaders approached me to tell me how impressed they were with Maria. It never surprises me to receive this feedback because she is amazing and kind and smart and genuine. She makes an impact on people as soon as she meets them. It is such a gift.

She got pictures taken with the other girls and grabbed a cookie before we left. As soon as we got in the car, she called the grandparents to relay the good news. They all sang out in joy for her, and got a kick out of Jon’s teary eye.

And now, she is off to represent central Ohio in the national competition. No matter what the result, we know we hit the jackpot with this girl!

The week’s highlights!

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Mario got selected to dress for the varsity basketball tournament last Wednesday. He got his name shouted out at the beginning of the game by the sweet basketball announcer (Jon) and although he did not get to play in the game, it had to be fun for him to sit on the bench with the kids. And his team won so they got back in the tournament on Saturday. They ended up with a last second loss but he’s got a Varsity letter under his belt!

Maria Grace got into the honors college at Pitt! All of the hard work that she has engaged in over the last two years has paid off. She was so excited to make the decision a few weeks ago to commit to Pitt so this was icing on the cake. Now, she should have a great chance of getting into a dorm that has AC! A must!

Mario has been kicking it in school this quarter. We had to course correct after the 2nd quarter grades came out (can we say “hair on fire”). He and I now review his classes for the day, and any work due the following day. We also work on projects he has due. He gets most frustrated with me over English work but we always end up in a fine place afterwards! I love spending time with him even if it sometimes veers to irritation. He got a 97 on his Bio test this week!

Maria got accolades from over 15 adults in Grandview after presenting to them about continued funding for her Robotics team. People texted me and Jon continuously after she presented raving about her presentation skills. One woman was amazed at how cool she was in front of older white men discussing “period boxes” which contain tampons and sanitary napkins for women in need. My girl!

Be kind to yourself

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I found this photo on my Instagram feed, and I immediately copy and pasted it. It serves as a reminder to me on the days that I am beating myself up to cut myself a little break. I have a tendency to think I am not doing enough (don’t we all in some manner) – I am not putting enough energy into the kids; I am not doing as well at work as I should; I am not spending enough time with my hubby; I am not learning how to cook better! You name it, and it seems that I have someway to dog on myself about it.

I turned that thinking around today. I had a majority of the day to spend with Mario because Maria is in Chicago and Jon went to visit his cousin. I knew I would be hard-pressed to spend much time with Mario since he stayed up late with his friends (which meant he would want a long nap), and he had to babysit in the evening. I spent a good amount of time yesterday trying to research what he and I could do together. Go rollerskating? Go shopping? Watch a movie? Take a hike? All of my ideas were met with a huge sigh as well as a firm “no thanks.” I could have just demanded that we were doing a certain activity; however, he is a teenager. I don’t want the entire time I spend with him to be him sulking, and it would be pleasant for both of us if he somewhat enjoyed whatever activity we chose. The problem is, all of the activities he would choose I can’t stand, and vice versa. No matter what, I knew that I needed to spend some of the day working on him with his homework, and making him complete his chores (that somehow always get forgotten by Sunday night).  Long story short, there was no day out at the movies or mother/son shopping. Rather, Jon and I and Mario played a few rounds of Mexican dominoes together and talked about his night out with friends. Then Jon left and Mario and I sat at the kitchen table spending time on his homework. After studying for biology and geometry, and taking a Spanish quizlet, he asked if he could go up and take a nap. I agreed. Before his nap, he asked if I could make him some lunch. He wanted a meatball sandwich, but we did not have any sub bread. He threw a bit of a hissy fit and stomped upstairs, but then came back down about two minutes later. I asked if he wanted me to make him pasta and meatballs instead. He nodded yes and gave me a hug before heading back upstairs. Those are the moments that I hold tight. We both cut each other a break and withheld from yelling or being pissy towards one another. We gave each other grace. 

I look back on our time together today, and I was present in the moment. We did not engage in any activity that was super spectacular, but I let myself enjoy the time we had together.  And I gave myself some love for simply being in the house and available to him.  During the day or evening, he straddles downstairs and grabs a water or just comes down to say hi. He doesn’t sit with me and tell me his life story or give me any major insights into his world, and I don’t do anything spectacular for him. I think it just is comforting to have your parent around. 

In the past, I would not have been as thoughtful about being in the present moment. I would have been sitting at the table playing dominoes, and wondering what else I could do with Mario. Or I would be fretting that I am only playing a few games of dominoes and we should be doing something more. it has been a process to let that thinking go and to just absorb the moment. Watch him as he studies his tiles and determines which one to lay down. Laugh with him when Jon cracks one of his spectacular jokes. Look at this beautiful creature that Jon and I created, and all of the magnificent energy he exudes. 

I had a similar experience with Maria when we went to Europe. We went to a café to have lunch. It had a fabulous atmosphere for a cozy, one on one conversation. When we sat down, my mind raced to a scenario whereby Ri and I were engaged in an intimate, deep conversation about her life, her experiences, her future. When she asked if I wanted to play a game of contexto while we waited for her food, and then proceeded to talk with me about how funny dad is on his moped, I initially thought of a way to steer the conversation to something I felt would be deeper and more meaningful. But I caught myself, and I remained present in the moment with her. Enjoying the time in the manner she wanted to spend it.  Listening to her talk about her dad, and witnessing the love she has for him. Being amazed at her ability to navigate college life already by parking on campus and getting to her class on time. Feeling proud of how hard she works on social justice issues.

This self compassion work not only helps me feel better about myself, but it opens my mind to witness more in those people around me who I love. Thanks for the reminder, Kristen Neff.

Be happy with this moment

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My latest quote obsession. How I embodied it this week:

1. Watching Maria as lead attorney at her Mock Trial at the courthouse. She defended a student arrested after tampering with eggs for the school breakfast. The girl is a natural trial attorney. She grilled the witnesses on cross examination (and even got recognized by the Judge). She used inflection in her voice while giving the closing. She’s a natural. The judge awarded her “Most Outstanding Attorney.”

2. Playing Mexican Dominoes with Mario and hanging out in the kitchen with him and Jon. We spent nearly 3 hours, cleaning the kitchen and playing Mexican dominoes this afternoon. He was forced to hang with us because this was part of a consequence he earned, but he didn’t complain too much and we all had a really good time together. I kept trying to ask him questions he did not want to answer like what major he’d choose in college or what he likes most about himself. Jon knew he did not want to answer so Jon rang a little buzzer to alert him he didn’t need to answer. It was quite hilarious. Jon was able to get Mario talking a bit more than I was , and by the end, we learned a few more facts than we had known.

3. Watching Mario play basketball. Damn, he and his teammates are fun to watch! The game is so much more physical in high school, and Mario plays tough.

4. Watching Maria give tours at the new high school. Girlfriend was chosen to give a speech at the ribbon cutting, and lead one of the tours of the school. She has certainly positioned herself as a leader at that place, and ingratiated herself amongst her teachers.

5. Making food for the kids. I will be the first to admit, and the kids will be the first to inform me, that my cooking is not premier. It, frankly, is not even that good. But I can crank out microwavable foods and do a few things on the stove. The kids have learned to live with that. So, when either of them asks me to make them breakfast or lunch, I do it in a heartbeat. Mario asks much more than Maria. There is something about making their food that brings me joy. It is a way to take care of them now that they are so independent.

6. Watching the kids interact together. There is no greater joy that I can get than seeing the two of them talking together or goofing off together. Thank God Maria is the older sibling, and is a natural nurturer. Mario doesn’t know how good he has it. And Mario is good about loosening Maria up at times she needs it!



Kid cures

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I have been sick the past few days with some sinus funk. Just enough to make me feel crappy but not so much that I have to be bed-ridden all day. My kids and Jon want nothing to do with me because they don’t want to get sick – of course, the first thought with these types of symptoms is that I have Covid. Once I took the test and was negative, however, they still wanted to keep their distance. Jon has allowed me to sit in the same room as him – as long as we are a good distance apart – in order to watch a couple of shows together. My mom and I still talk in the evenings, which I appreciate in order to connect with another human. But I miss playing a game with the kids or taking a walk with friends.

I woke up this morning hoping to feel better but I still felt crappy. Maria, being the sweetheart that she is, agreed to play gin rummy with me as long as I sat 6 feet from her across the table. I begged her to allow me to take a walk with her and the pup but being the mother hen that she is, she refused. Just as she was getting ready to walk out with Rocco, Jon walked in with Mario who he had picked up from a sleepover. Mario asked where Maria was going, and I told him he should go with her. Surprisingly, he agreed to do so.

I think it’s been a year since the two of them walked together. I lit up with excitement. They looked at me like they always do when I get excited about something so mundane. They shake their heads as I put the collar on Rocco and energetically ask him if he’s excited to walk with them both. They sigh as I tell them to turn around so I can get a picture of them before they take off. I stare out the window as they stroll down the sidewalk with Rocco pulling on his leash. The thought of my babes walking together comforted me through the day.

Later in the day, my dad messaged our Adventure Team to see if we wanted to play cards. We jumped on a call within minutes but rather than start with cards, we engaged in funny faces and bouncy ball antics and trampoline jumping in order to entertain my brother’s daughter. He had been watching her through the day while his girlfriend worked, and informed us that Aliz had been wanting to see “her people”. This is the term she gives to our Menkedick clan. We all try to get in a few words about how our week has gone between blowing raspberries at Aliz and listening to Elena beg for us to watch her do a trick. It really is a crazy scene for anyone from the outside watching in but somehow it feels completely normal while we’re in it. It’s these times together that boost me up for the day. While they didn’t cure me of my sickness, they did make me forget about my aches for a while, and they lifted off the heaviness of the sinus funk. I mean, really, how can I feel crappy when I’m watching a munch ball Swedish toddler laugh heartily at my niece showing her dolls off, and my daughter rolling a super ball off her head?!

Be Have Do

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I found a new podcast, 70 Over 70. I listened to Barney Frank the other day. I loved the saying that he wanted on his epitaph “The Gentleman’s Time Has Expired.”

I listened to Judith Light’s interview after Mr. Frank’s. I recalled her from one of the 80’s sitcoms I watched but I can’t recall which one it was. The description of her interview was what enticed me: “Be. Do. Have.” Anymore, any type of spiritual, philosophical title captures me.

I listened to the interview while walking Rocco in Tarpy early in the morning when there was no one else in the woods with me. Tiny snowflakes blew through the air and a dusting of snow laid on the path up the hill to the clearing where Rocco runs free enjoying all the scents amidst him. The interviewer started the podcast telling Judith Light that he has two kids, and is constantly worried about messing them up; seeing them at age 18 chatting with friends about how f’d up they are because of something he did to them that he did not even realize they absorbed. Light reacts by stating “You will fuck them up, that is the human condition!” But she consoles the interviewer telling him it is ok because life is messy and he is trying his best. You just need to be in the present, and not throw your energy in worry about the future. It helps to look at your kids as beings that have come into your life to enable you to learn just as much as you are enabling them to learn.

She then discussed starting her career thinking that she had done everything right to get her to a place where she would be offered feature films and broadway plays – not sitcoms. She was above those. She had done, done, done, going to acting school and Carnegie Mellon and getting her degree. She deserved the best and wanted it now! But that was a skewed outlook.

She needed to figure out who she wanted to be and then the doing would come from that framework. She asked herself “how am I going to be today – not what I will do.” We tend to think if we do enough stuff, read enough books, then we will have or be something more. But that is not true. You need to start from your being. Breathe. Be with you first. If you “be” first, you will have a different framework. Be curious and embrace the mess. Be grateful for another day. Make friends with the not knowing. Be conscious and aware that you are choosing to be. The getting and wanting will come – but it will come from a different place. It’s the “be-do-have” mindset- not the “do-have-be” mindset.

I loved that. I thought of the scores of podcasts and books I have tried out over the year with the hope that in doing this work, I would learn to be. But no matter how many experts I listened to and how many words I read, I still didn’t feel like I was getting what I needed. After listening to the interview, it hit me that maybe I am “doing” too much, and just need to ask myself “how am I going to be today?”

So I did.

On Sunday, I made a conscious choice to “be” a present mom, an engaged wife, supportive of others. Making that choice of “Being” naturally brought on the doing. I made Mario a hearty breakfast before he went snowboarding. I folded the laundry. I bought groceries to make dinners through the week. I listened to Maria talk to me about Model UN. I gave praise to Jon for his delicious pork chops. I read my book, and called my mom. I cleaned the kitchen floor. I loved, and comforted, and helped, and listened, and fed. It felt good, and soul-satisfying. And I promised myself at the end of the evening that I would wake up the next morning and continue to be conscious of “being.”

Of course, the next day was Monday so all that conscious desire was squashed by Monday work and school madness. Actually, not true. My girlfriend called while I was getting ready to walk and read my book, and she needed someone to talk to about her dad. He had received a concerning diagnosis. I put down my book and talked with her. I comforted her. I think she felt better after our conversation. I made Mario a pb&j before basketball. I picked up Ri’s room since she had a huge exam to study for and was at school from 7 am to 7 pm. I snuggled with Rocco on the family room floor while stretching out my back. “Be, Have, Do.”

MLK

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I woke up yesterday morning still trying to figure out something for the kids to do to honor MLK’s legacy. I postponed my research on volunteer activities this year, and therefore, missed out on some events that needed pre-registration. When the kids were little, I took them to the MLK March downtown and to volunteer at the YWCA. However, in the past few years, we have not participated in an organized event (thank you Covid).

I spent an extra 20 minutes lying in bed this morning searching for activities around Columbus. I had no luck. I looked up articles about MLK to read with the kids. I watched a video on the National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis. What shall I do?

Maria was downstairs on the couch working on her homework. I interrupted her studies to ask her to help me find something for us to do to celebrate MLK. She informed me that she had woken up in the morning and already acted. I was confused. “What did you do”, I asked her.

“I read about education reform, and called Senator Rob Portman to express my concerns about the segregation of the education system.”

Huh?

“Yea, here is the site if you want to take action. You can also call the Senator to express concern about CRT and student debt. The site has a script you can read off of if needed.”

Well, I’ll be darned (as one of my relatives used to say when I was growing up). My girl had already taken action without me even asking. It was a proud moment, and I teared up. Maria looked at me as if this was no big deal – second nature to find a cause and take action. Jon and I did something right with this girl. She is on her way to improving public policy and changing this world for the better.

On the other hand, Mario was already out sled riding by the time Maria and I connected. He was enjoying the day off with his buddies. When I picked him up at his buddy’s house, I asked him what we could do to honor MLK. He was at a loss for ideas. Lesson learned with this kid for next year. I need to plan something for he and I to do.

He ended up agreeing to write a letter of appreciation to his grandma for her service to her grandkids, including Mario. He wrote about how grateful he was for all of the love and dedication she provides to him. It was a token of love in honor of MLK. He also was forced to play a boardgame with me and Maria. We played Monopoly – haven’t played that game together in quite some time. His love for money came out strong. When Maria and I play, we tend to feel bad if we are taking others’ last dollars. Not Mario – he relishes every moment and rubs it in. After he beat us, I told him I would not be worried about that love of money as long as he took a portion of it and did some thing good for the world with it. He agreed. That’s a win.

In the evening, we all sat down for home-made ribs Jon cooked on his new smoker, and talked about Mario going to high school and Maria’s thoughts on classes he should take. We said a prayer of gratitude to Grandma Menkedick whose birthday was on the same day. I made vinegar-based cole slaw in her honor (hers was much better).

I was grateful for the family dinner. Watching Jon love on his ribs was delightful. Listening to Maria talk about her socialist self playing a capitalist game in Monopoly was amusing. Play jabbing Mario as we ate brought joy. Being present to notice all these things shows I’m learning – learning to embrace the moment and allow the joy to seep in.

Thank you Dr. King for your work, and your commitment to justice and equality.

To walk

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In the summer, Maria started taking a two mile run/walk with me in the woods. She dreaded it but usually felt better once it was over and we were in the AC back home. Then, she got a treadmill, and she never wanted to hit the “nasty outdoors” again. She cannot stand the sun or heat. Yes, I am not kidding. I keep telling her that she should move to Seattle when she turns 18 so that she can live in the spitting rain and gray skies. 

Nevertheless, she would not put up a major fight (sometimes it would be a whine and other times an exasperated sigh) when I asked her to only take a one mile walk in the woods with me. She conditioned her agreement to go on us taking Rocco so we could watch him gnaw on sticks and play with pups in the woods. It’s been a bit easier to get her to go with me lately because I will allow her to go on and on and on about getting her temps. This has been a dream of hers for at least a year. For the last three months, she has talked about how she cannot wait until October 31 so that she can get her temps and drive around town. Jon can’t stomach to talk about it anymore so when I walk with her, she is permitted to talk about what the test will be like, how awesome it will be when she gets her temps, where she will want to drive, what questions she think will be on the test, where she will drive me around town…you name it.

I have also made her walk to school in the morning. She was appalled at the thought of it at the beginning of the school year but now she has gotten more used to it. Don’t get me wrong, she constantly talks about how she cannot wait to drive to school, but she doesn’t beg for Jon to take her every morning like she used to in year’s past.

The other night, I was doing some work on the computer, and she came up from the basement to tell me that she had an essay she wanted to read to me. We went upstairs and sat on my bed. It started out with a definition of “to walk.” She then detailed how our simple walks bring her some unexpected joy during this Covid time. She notices more on her walks and feels more prepared her for school day.  What?!

These are the little nuggets that I need to hear throughout my weeks to help me witness the positive marks I leave on my children. So often I beat myself up for snapping at the kids or not doing enough reading with the kids or falling short in some other arena…but then I hear my kid finding joy in something I brought them, and I realize I’m also doing some good in this world. 

Now, do I think she will forgo driving the car to school once she is able? Probably not. But she may take a few more minutes to think about it, and end up taking a tiny stroll after school, at least, to the woods with me.



Mario and fairy books

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Maria has innate compassion and nurturing genes in her body. She has always been a caretaker. When Mario was born, she would beg to give him his Binky or put him in his swing or feed him his smashed peas. I have a ton of pictures – back when you had to develop them – of the two of them together and inevitably, Maria’s arm is always wrapped around Mario. His protector.

In preschool, she had a girlfriend who was petite and quiet. Whenever another child would boss her around, Maria would step in and protect her. The girl’s parents nicknamed Maria “the muscle.” This weekend, Maria and I were just getting ready to sit down to play a card game. Her phone rang and she left to talk to her friend for a few minutes. She came back and told me that her friend needed to stop by. Within a minute, I heard the door open. Her friend was sobbing; Maria wrapped her arm around her friend, and walked with her down the stairs to her room continuously whispering “you will be ok.”

Mario did not quite inherit the compassionate and nurturing genes.  That is not to say that he doesn’t care for others; he just doesn’t have that automatic response of nurturing and caretaking. He expresses his care and concern by trying to make people laugh – by being goofy. When he was in preschool, he would get up in front of all of his friends and perform a crazy dance (he loved Gangnam Style). When one of his friends took a nasty fall while they were skateboarding, he jabbed him with playful jokes to keep him laughing until I arrived to take him home. Last week, I had a crappy day at work and he amused me with his little quips.

I have made Maria do more volunteer activities with me than Mario. This is partially because the moms of Maria’s friends tend to plan volunteer events more often than the moms of Mario’s friends. It is also because she didn’t put up as much of a fight as Mario did when I talked about doing something for those in need.

Lately, I have been lamenting about not pushing harder on Mario when he puts up a fight about volunteering. He needs to gain some perspective when he starts begging me for $150 pair of basketball shoes for the upcoming season. I have told him that there may be a possibility of purchasing such shoes but it does not come without putting forth some effort for others. Accordingly, he has agreed to put together hygiene kits for men at the homeless shelter along with a few of his friends. We are heading out this week to buy the supplies and then put them together to deliver. It just takes me putting forth some effort to get him to do it.

But I was excited to see him come downstairs on his own last night and read a book to Elena with me. I had mentioned reading to Elena over dinner with him and Maria and Jon last night. I threw in a comment that it would be really nice if the kids or Jon joined me for a chapter or two. They all rolled their eyes.

I situated my computer at the dining room table, and jumped on Facebook messenger with Elena. I was just getting ready to start reading the Weather Fairies book when Mario trotted down the stairs to join me. Elena started giggling like she always does when Mario enters the screen. I gave Mario the parts of Kirsty to read.

To my delight, he completely acted the part. He raised his voice up a few octaves to mimic Kirsty’s voice. Elena cracked up every time he read off the page. He read a chapter with us, and then I allowed him to head upstairs to finish his homework. I spent another 45 minutes reading to Elena. I didn’t make her chuckle like Mario had but we did have fun reading about the goblins and talking about the different weather fairies.

I visited Mario in his room after I finished with Elena. I told him how happy he had made Elena by simply reading a chapter of a book to her. I explained how a simple gesture can mean a lot to somebody. 

I recall telling my dad about taking a walk in the woods without looking at my phone the entire time. We had been talking earlier in the week about needing to disconnect more often. His response via text was “baby steps.” That phrase came to mind as I left Mario’s room and went to log off the computer for the night.





Taking the plunge – happy 13th Mario!

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I have watched this video about 100 times since it came up in my feed a few weeks ago. At the time it popped up, Mario had been teasing me about turning 13. He knows how much it kills me to think of him turning into a teenager. Every night, he approaches me and pokes my shoulder stating “Mom, you know I’m turning 13 soon.” He secretly waits for me to plead for him not to turn 13 and stay my baby. He knows he has my heart, and I will do anything for him. Jon always teases me that I need to cut the umbilical cord.  I do find myself still fetching him water when he asks for it, although I tend to do the same for Maria (she just asks for it less than he does).

This video took me back to the years before he turned double digits – when he would routinely want to be by my side. I recall trying to tip toe down the stairs in order not to wake him so I could go out for a morning run. Inevitably, as soon as one of the stairs would creek, I’d hear him loudly whisper “mom”. I would try for another step and then hear “mom” again but in a bit more anxious tone. Some days I could head up the stairs, go into his room, and convince him to go back to bed because I would be back really soon. He would typically call my bluff and tell me that I wouldn’t be back for another two hours. I would tell him that as soon as I got back we would do something fun together. I would say about half of the time, this worked. The other half of the time, I bundled him up and threw him in the stroller to take my run with me. We would play different games like who could find the most birds on our run, or 20 questions, or spot the bunnies.

Because he and Maria wanted to be around me every weekend, we had to come up with things to do. My daredevil Maria thought up ziplining to end the summer and bring in the new school year. I believe Mario was going into first grade in this video so he was probably close to six years old. He was all for the zip lining adventure until he got onto the first course. He saw how far down the ground was, and refused to go. Luckily, the instructor convinced him to go with him. We only did five zip lines that day and Mario insisted on the instructor for the first four of them. After each one, Maria would encourage him to do the next one by himself. He would sit there pensively, like you see on the video, and then decide that he wanted the instructor. I don’t recall what we said or did on the fifth line to get him to finally do it by himself. I’m sure Maria was putting the major pressure on him and as you can see in the video, I was trying my hardest to cheer him on. I knew if he didn’t do it that he would be mad that he didn’t give it a try by himself. I know my child – it may take him until the last minute, but he will want to be able to say he tried it. Whether it’s ziplining or basketball or just being a good human, Mario wants to do it well. As he gets older, he may put up a façade about not caring or try being too cool, but deep down inside, I know that he is a good human and can accomplish what he sets out to do. What he has set out to do lately is play good football and fish like a world-class fisherman.

My dad was a huge help in purchasing a fishing kayak for his 13th birthday. Mario had been pleading for the last month about getting a fishing kayak for his birthday. He knew he would not get anything else if he asked for that yet he still wanted it. He sent me a picture and I forwarded it to my dad to get his two cents. My dad did his typical dad research and found that it was a really good fishing kayak. He also was able to locate the one place in three states that still carried it. He drove to West Virginia to purchase it before Mario’s birthday. It came with a crappy paddle, which of course he had researched, so he drove over to Marietta to purchase a good paddle from one of the sporting stores. To top it off, and just because he is the type of dad and grandpa who thinks through everything, he stopped at the local marina, and got the kayak registered.

Sure enough, Mario begged to go to Seneca Lake after he was escorted to his present at the farm. My dad, of course, agreed to take him down there. I went with my niece so I could see how he maneuvered this new present of his. My dad and I were both amazed. There he was, before we had even kayaked over towards him, standing in his kayak and casting his line like a fisherman who had been fishing for 30 years. While Mario was in his element, I paddled around with a Elena who enjoyed touching the lily pads and pointing out the flowers. I looked over my shoulder several times to find my dad 20 feet from Mario watching him cast his line and try for a fish. What a sight as a daughter and a mom – my heart was full. My dad eventually came over to video Elena paddling the kayak. Sure enough, about a minute later, we heard Mario shouting “I got one!”

We quickly paddled over to Mario. He had a huge grin on his face and proudly rose the fish to his chest to show it off. My dad, the proud peepaw, immediately awed about the huge size, and Mario continued in the awe. “It’s gotta be at least 2-3 pounds!”

These are the moments that make this crazy life worthwhile. The joy on Mario’s face as he held the fish high in the air. My dad’s million snapshots of Mario with his fish that I scrolled through later in the night. Elena’s quips about Mario needing to catch a “giant popper.” It reinforces my belief that a good life is all about creating experiences, and having that connection with the people near you experiencing the event with you.

My son is an avid fisherman at age 13 (I typed 12 and had to delete:)). He swears he will be heading to Canada as soon as he graduates high school (earlier if we’d let him), owning a bait shop, and fishing everyday. Jon and I half believe him. He has mentioned to me on several occasions (usually when I’m on work calls at 10 pm) that he would never want a 9-5 job and have to work all hours of the day. I’m glad my work has provided that enlightenment to him:)

If you listen closely to Mario in the video, you will hear him whisper “I can do this.” I don’t know that I heard this on the actual day – I was too busy rooting him on. I listen to it now and I am filled with emotion – pride at raising this brave soul, admiration for his drive, joy in being around him, immense love for his entire being, excitement about what’s to come for him.

Here’s to taking those plunges, Mario, and living life to its fullest. Happy 13th!

Love you!