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wild for wild

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I am wild about wild.

A week ago I pulled up my sister’s on-line magazine, Vela, and read a post where each of the writers wrote about their favorite summer reads. One writer talked about wild by Cheryl Strayer. I had heard about the book on NPR a while back and seen it sitting on the shelf each time I walked through Barnes and Noble to get my morning coffee. I figured with the combination of all of those signs from the universe, I should give it a try.

I am not a reader of long books. I typically go straight to the articles in the Atlantic or New Yorker and that suits me fine. But reading the writers’ entries on Vela made me want to give reading novels or memoirs another try since I hadn’t read one in a year (Left Neglected being the last).

I purchased wild a week ago and I completed it last night. I felt conflicted as I sat next to Ri in her bed. She had asked me to lay next to her until she fell asleep. She also asked me to read to her from my book. She hung in for four pages but then curled beside me and passed out. I didn’t want the book to end but I also wanted to find out how it ended. I found myself reading slowly for a paragraph and then speeding up for two. An hour later, the book was finished, and I cried. I cried over a combination of things: the beauty of mothers and daughters; the exhilaration at reading a novel again; the recognition of finding oneself; the confirmation of the release and freedom from just letting it all go.

I am now like a voracious animal in the wild. I want to scour the bookstore for my next memoir or novel and dig into it. I am thinking of Out of Africa since that was one of my sister’s favorite books. I’m just thinking that might be like going from 0 to 120 mph and overwhelm me! Maybe Molly Ringwald’s new book instead….

Weeding can be fun?

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We weeded the garden and raked the leaves for the second night in a row. How excited I was to get an encore from M&M!

I attempt to weed with them but every time I go to plant myself amongst the ivy or ragweed one of the kids yells “Mom, come look at how good I am doing!” I go to one of them and praise their work and the other shouts “Mom, come look at my work!”

They both did awesome jobs pulling up patches of weeds lining the border of the garden out back. Mario likes the tall weeds by the vegetable garden and Ri likes the short, stout weeds by the back fence.

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I have read all sorts of articles on gardening but have never really gotten the kids out in our back yard as much as I wanted. They helped plant the vegetable garden in early summer and they help place rocks around the gardens but don’t really dig in the dirt and weed or tend to the flowers. Why?

Probably has to do with their parents not doing too much! Neither Jon nor I have the “green thumb” of the family. We get things done to keep the yard and garden looking decent but our first priority on weekends has not been spending hours in the yard.

But I have to admit that it has been enjoyable and relaxing the last two nights to stay home and work together as a family on beautifying the yard. Maria is more and more into science so I could use this time in the dirt and flowers to learn about science. Mario has always loved to help outdoors and discover pill bugs and butterflies. I have been transformed. By no means a full-fledged gardener nut but at least more appreciative of the art and tranquility of the process.

We had to end the night with a leaf pile for the kids to jump in to celebrate our hard work and to commemorate the beginning of the end of Summer. It wasn’t gargantuan in size but still provided lots of laughter and smiles like any leaf pile should.

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Pikachu, the chinchilla

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A picture of our South American house guest… Pikachu. Pikachu is a chinchilla. She lives in Maria’s classroom during the week and travels to different students’ homes on the weekend. Maria begged Jon and me to bring Pikachu home for this holiday weekend and we agreed (she better take care of us when we are old!).

I gave our nanny an extra $10 to pick Pikachu up on Thursday afternoon. He immediately let M&M release Pikachu from its cage. And then the texts came to me in a flurry!

“Holy cow! Pikachu just jumped on the counter!”
“Oh my – Pikachu just climbed into a hole under your cabinets!”
“Pikachu is insane!”

And that sums it up. Pikachu is insane. Or maybe just a typical chinchilla. In any case, she has taken over our free time the past three days. Maria watches over her like a mother hen, of course. When Mario is too loud, she scolds him to be quiet (or slaps her hand over his mouth which really does wonders to keep the peace). We wanted to keep Pikachu in the basement but Maria informed us that would be way too cold for her. We put her in the kitchen and Maria turned on the fan to make sure she had a nice breeze.

“She likes 70 degree temperatures, Mom.”

We released her on Thursday night and it became quite a chore to round her up back into her cage. She snuck under couches and tables and put the fear of god in you when you tried to pick her up. She snaps her little head back at you and growls. That was enough for me to steer clear. Mario ran around after her with her carrier open thinking she would jump in. Not so much.

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We set up all sorts of barricades but she found a way through them.

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Jon even got in the game and tried to get her. Nothing. Finally, by sheer luck, Mario placed the carrier down right by the door and she ran right into it. Mario looked stunned.

“I caught her, Mom!”

We took her up to Ri’s room for the night. The kids begged to sleep next to her. Jon and I agreed if they promised to get to sleep. Yeah, right. They talked to her and situated themselves over and over again to find the perfect sleeping spots right next to her.

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Mario ran downstairs about a half hour later terrified.

“Mom, Maria is asleep and so is Pikachu and I got scared all by myself!” I saved the day and went upstairs with him. We laid in my bed and quickly fell asleep listening to a recently awakened Pikachu scratch the side of his cage. One fun fact about chinchillas that Maria told us earlier this school year, they are nocturnal.

Great.

Three cheers for smoothies!

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Maria attended her first cheer leading practice tonight. It made me cry. There she was trying so hard to follow the hand and feet movements, and surprisingly, not doing too bad. She didn’t seem too interested some of the time so I was interested in hearing her reaction to it afterwards.

She loved it. She liked having some other girls she knew on the team, too. She’s excited about wearing her uniform and cheering at games. So far she has picked two sports that I would have never dreamed of as a kid – horse back riding and cheerleading – but I am just glad that she has chosen something extra-curricular.

When we got home, she wanted to make a smoothie. My mom has been pounding the goodness of smoothies to me lately so I figured we’d give it a go. All we had were bananas and strawberry yogurt so I found a recipe on line that suited our needs (but substituted bananas for blueberries and Splenda for honey). It has a lot of sugar but at least it has some protein and nutrients, too!

Cheers to better nutrition and cheerleading (Aunt Julie will be proud)!

Thought for today: Life is Good

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Why is it that we convince ourselves with each new year that the fireworks show is going to be an amazing time full of laughter and hugs and unforgettable moments? When instead it is full of spats and whining and trying to find a good spot to set up camp? Ok, so I exaggerate a tad. After all, I believe life is as good as you want to make it so even though there were the spats and the whining and the search for a perfect viewing spot, there was also laughter when the cookies were brought out, hugs when the fireworks sparkled in the sky, and unforgettable moments when I witnessed Jon and Maria holding hands as they walked back to the car.

I haven’t so much learned to lessen my expectations through the years as I have learned to change my thinking. I used to think “this night will be perfect” and when one thing went wrong, I would get upset and believe the entire night was a failure. Maybe it’s a matter of getting older (or maybe it’s a matter of reading lots of self-help books!) but I have improved my thinking in these circumstances. I go into an event now with the thought that no matter how things go, I am lucky to be able to experience the event and have time with my loved ones or by myself. I am privileged to be able to walk to the event, be able to talk to people, be able to eat good food. So when Mario trips and cries or Maria whines or the weather is sweltering hot, I can acknowledge them for what they are and move on to experiencing the better. My results are much more positive and gratifying. And so when I got home last night, I thanked life for giving me time with Jon and M&M to watch fireworks and smile at one another and have tender moments together (trying to get in the car quick enough to not shine our headlights on spectators).

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This holiday has allowed me to sharpen my thinking skills even more between the 90 degree, hour and a half parade and the irritable, sun-drenched, fatigued children. But, alas, we were all together downing the waters and watching the floats and having some laughs with cousins and old teachers and friends.

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We even managed a bike ride to Stauf’s for a thirst-quenching iced coffee. Maria is becoming a bike pro using only one hand at times and standing up off the seat at others. Mario still enjoys his mama riding him on her bike, which I still secretly love, too since Maria is already pushing away like a 15 year old to be her own person (it’s too soon!).

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And so, I continue to revel in my positive thinking as we head over to Jon’s niece’s house for a cookout. How lucky I am to have as much as I do in all aspects of my life – family, friends, home, health, work. No matter if I get a burnt burger tonight or Mario throws a tantrum or the slip-n-slide fails – life is still good on this July 4, 2012.

Icees and Madagascar

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Maria has come back from the dead. Four days after becoming inflicted with a nasty flu bug, she was finally able to walk around the house, eat solid food, and joke with her brother. Thank you world!

We celebrated with a trip to Target for icees and a small present in celebration of Maria’s revival back into society. They both have their icee making down to a science adding a lot of the initial flavor (usually cherry) and a squirt of every other flavor creating a perfect rainbow of sweet sippy goodness. They hop in the double shopping cart and sip away while we walk the aisles.

Maria was torn between a Barbie or a doll baby. She has a ton of each but I like the thought of her caring for a doll more than the thought of her dressing up a Barbie to go out with Ken. Maybe I am wrong – I do automatically shy away from barbie but what do I know? Maria could be acting like Barbie was going out with Ken to a charity event to help the community. Nevertheless, she went with my inclination and chose the baby doll because it came with two bottles to feed her, which she loved. And a binky. Mario was torn between Incredible Hulk gloves or Ben Ten figures. He would have went for the gloves if they fit him. But the holes for the hands were not snug enough so he ditched them.

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After Target, we headed to Madagascar 3 in 3D at the movie theatre. The kids told me I was the best mom ever (I held it to them later when they hated me for making them take a bath). We pulled out our M&Ms and Milk Duds from Target and got our movie theatre popcorn and we were set! The movie was less than stellar for me but the kids loved it. I did fall in love with the circus bear, however. And the music added some life. Mario danced in the aisle at one point and Maria hit my arm and begged me to make him stop. She gets so embarrassed nowadays even though there was no one else in the theatre!

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When we got home from the movie, the kids helped me pick up leaves in the back. Mario called over to me after a few minutes and asked if I would get him a drink of water. I told him that he was almost five and he could get his own water.

Maria dropped her rake and her jaw dropped. Mario walked inside. I stood twenty feet from her wondering why she was so amazed.

“Mom! You just made Mario get a drink on his own and you didn’t automatically say ‘yes’ to him! Don’t you feel good about that? Great job, mom!” and she went about her business.

Yes, there is no doubt that she was my mom in a past life.

Life is Good

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Can we have a more insane, crazed night than tonight?

I walked in the door at 5:45 pm after a nutty day at work full of little fires and big personalities.  As soon as I step in the hall, Maria gets in my face crying that she needs a grass skirt and coconut boobs for tomorrow’s Hawaiian day at horse camp.  Seriously, can’t the horse camp owners just make it a colorful t-shirt day?  Everyone has a colorful t-shirt in their drawer – no-one has a grass skirt and coconut boobs.  I text a few friends who are no help.  I know that I am going to give in to her and run her to the store eventually.  But first, I want to mow the lawn before Jon leaves for the airport.  I change, slip on my grassy shoes, and head out.  Our mower sounds like death.  I have hit one too many rocks with it (in no part due to my inability to take my time) and it is ready to call it a day.  I finish the back yard and when I go to start it in the front, it refuses.  I knew not to mess with it any longer – its little mower life was up – but not before it gave me one last cut in the backyard.  I will miss it.  Luckily, we had Jon’s brother’s mower in the garage.  I used it in the front only to find three-fourths of the way through that I had lost a screw on the left side of the mower so the handle would not stay up.  I had to finish the lawn holding the left side up while I tried to push the mower with my right arm and hip.  Ain’t it great?

I cleaned up, threw on a new shirt, and we headed out to the Dollar Store for Hawaiian goodies.  We lucked out and scored a skirt, leis, and flower clips.  Hopefully, Mario’s daycare has some left over boobs from their party that Ri can get tomorrow. Mario scored a set of handcuffs and knife – perfect for a wild four-year old.  We ran out of the store and into the car to head home for a hot pocket and sandwich.  After we heated the hot pocket, Maria jumped on her bike and Mario hopped in the stroller and we were off to Music on the Lawn for some music by Conspiracy.  People packed the lawn taking in the funk.  Mario engaged in a robot dance that had the entire left side of the lawn cracking up and Maria get treated to a bag of popcorn by her friend Zach.  When he offered it to her, she blushed the loudest red I have seen.  God help us.

Mario had a bathroom attack while dancing so we ran into the library.  Of course, since we were in there, he needed to get a handful of movies.  We met Maria outside for a few more songs and then called it a night at 8:45 pm.  When we arrived home, I grabbed the scissors and began pruning the roses.  They have been driving me nuts for weeks, and I promised myself I’d get them done last night or tonight.  After working on those for twenty minutes while Maria and Mario played with the handcuffs and knife, I came inside to read a book to them.  We read a couple, headed upstairs to get changed into pj’s and brush teeth, and headed back down for one episode of Scooby Doo.  

My god.  My eyelids kept falling over my eyes like broken shades.  But I persevered through finishing up emails and memos for tomorrow and chanting all the while “life is good; life is good.”  And alas, as crazy as it is, life is good.

Friday Stasis

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I did not want to leave the house today. 

I wanted to stay cuddled with Maria on the bed watching Justin Bieber on the Today show and listening to Mario chuckle as he threw his sock at the ceiling fan and witnessed it ricochet across the room. 

I did not want to sit in meetings and make phone calls. 

So, I took my time getting ready for work.  I appeased Mario and watched him throw his sock into the ceiling fan twenty times chasing him to try to be the first to retrieve the far-flung sock.  I stared at Ri mesmerized by the tv showing Justin Bieber singing to the massive NYC crowd.  I took Mario downstairs and made him peanut butter crackers for breakfast (I know all my health-nut friends are disgusted – sorry).  He begged to watch one of his library movies and I agreed since it is a Friday.  Maria came running downstairs and exclaimed “I got $5 from the tooth fairy!”  Man, inflation has shot up the average gift from the Tooth Fairy. 

When David arrived, I took off.  I got to work just in time to get my decaf americano, answer two emails and leave for a 9:30 am meeting.  The day went quickly; I had a YMCA board retreat from 2-5 that I really did not feel like attending.  Not because I don’t like my colleagues on the board or because I had something much more fun to do.  Maybe it was because I knew I would have to engage and talk and I just felt like keeping to myself.  But I find that I get into that loner mode a lot, and I have to force myself to go to something in order to defeat it.  It’s one thing to enjoy my solitude; I think that is a necessity in this life.  It’s another to just not want to converse with people because it will take effort and you might get stuck talking with the guy that you think has an ego the size of Mars.  I think it’s also a necessity in life to make that effort, especially when it relates to a larger goal – here, creating more teamwork and collaboration amongst YMCA board members.  So, I went, and I really enjoyed it.  I talked with people I have never spoken with before and learned that the guy I thought had an ego the size of Mars ran another non-profit that I was really interested in for future volunteer work.  I learned that the YMCA hosted a lot more activities than I knew of – activities that I believed passionately about (teaching inner-city kids how to swim and working towards getting the Y residents more fit through nutrition and exercise). 

I talked with Maria about the retreat when I got home.  She loves the YMCA and has gone to several board meetings with me.  Of course, at this age, it’s all about the food (she loves the home-made mac-n-cheese) and not about the mission.  But she gets it in general because when we pass by a homeless person from time to time, she will say “Mom, maybe he should try to live at the YMCA.” 

After a few minutes with Maria, we rushed Mario to tee-ball.  Grandma and Grandpa Ionno came down to watch him play.  It was picture night, too.  Mario was hilarious with the photographer – he did his cool mac-daddy smile when she posed him and would not open his mouth for a full one.  Patty and Joe got a kick out of watching him in the field – when a kid hit it, all of the kids ran towards the ball no matter where it was hit in the field.  Mario even dove with another kid for the ball at one point and when he got it, he just looked at him with a cocky grin and threw the ball to first.  Competitive can we say?

We hit Bob Evans after the game for some hotcakes and dinner rolls (we all needed to carb up after watching two long innings of tee-ball in 88 degree weather).  Maria was cracking us up as we ate dinner.   Mario went to the bathroom and had been in there for a while.  Jon came back from paying the check and went to see if Mario was ok.  Maria watched Jon pass our table and told him he better go check on Mario because there was no way his dad (her grandpa) was going because he was resting comfortably in his chair!  She is a trip.  

The kids rode their bikes for Grandma and Grandpa when we got home.  We adjusted Mario’s bike seat up a few inches, and it made a heck of a difference.  He sped along with no problem on the sidewalk.  Poor guy just couldn’t get enough power earlier because his knees almost scraped the ground when he peddled.  When Patty and Joe left, Maria strolled Mario up the street with all of her bears in one side of the stroller and Mario in the other.  They flipped the stroller about five houses up the street.  I was busy watering the yard so I did not bolt up the street like I normally would have to make sure everything was ok.  This time I just yelled “Come on guys, get back home!”  I am sure the conservative, cautious family up the street about had a heart attack but hey, it was Friday, and I had reached my limit of crisis.  I had survived a day of work, a tee-ball game, 90 degree weather, and I was ready to chill.  They did manage to get the stroller erect and head home, and we all chilled in the house for the remainder of the night.

Distance really does make the heart grow fonder

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Maria Grace stayed with Jon’s mom this entire week.  We went up for Memorial Day on Monday and she just returned today.  I swear she looks two years older.  She got four inches cut off of her hair during her stay with Grandma.  She greeted me with a huge hug and smile but when I asked her how her time was with Grandma and Alana, she responded “it was fine but I don’t want to talk about it.”  Huh?! I asked her if something went wrong and she looked at me puzzled.  “No, mom, I just don’t feel like talking about it.” 

Ok.  I am not ready for this response when just two weeks ago she would have went on and on about her time with Alana and her adventures with Grandma.  Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit – she has never been that talkative about her days; but she used to at least summarize them for me!  I let it go in order to just enjoy the moment with her – soak up her smile and her laugh.  Mario yelled “Ria” when he saw her and gave her a huge hug that lasted 30 seconds.  He had been asking when she’d be home for the last three days. 

One of the first tasks that Maria set out to do when she walked in the house was write a letter to Ann Curry.  Yes, the Today Show’s Ann Curry.  Jon and I default to NBC News in the morning, and Maria enjoys watching it, too.  She loves Ann Curry; she thinks she’s smart and stylish.  Her letter told her as much and she also added a sentence stating that Ann Curry helps her learn more about the world.  Precious.  I had Maria write Ann Curry’s name and address on the front of the envelope with the hopes that it does not get pitched since it is clearly from a kid.  We will keep our fingers crossed…! 

Meanwhile, Mario and I wrestled.  He made me grab his leg each time he started to turn the DVD dial and then after I grabbed it, he shocked me with the electric waves coming out of his fingers.  I had to play dead for five seconds and then come back alive to do it all over again.  He could have played that game with me for two hours but I could only handle about 15 minutes.  I had to play a game of HeadBandz in order to get him off the wrestling kick, and then find his Spiderman costume for him to wear.

I got a massage in the mid-afternoon, which was a piece of heaven for an hour.  Is there anything better than a scalp massage at 3 pm?  And I could hire someone to rub my feet all day long and think it was money well spent.  I lifted myself off the massage table afterwards, and had deep creases along my face and legs – a sign of a good massage.  Jon decided to cook lemon chicken for dinner so we spent an hour preparing the chicken and the sides while the kids played on the computer and drew.  It was a very strange yet wonderful experience for us.  Strange to smell sweet aromas throughout the kitchen and wonderful to cook our own meal (the joke is that we have only used our pots and pans a handful of times since we were married in 2002). 

The kids even liked it!  And Maggie, hung over and all, enjoyed it, too.  After dinner, we rode our bikes up to the mailbox to deliver Ann Curry’s letter (and a b-day card to Grandma Lolo) and chow on some Orange Leaf.  Mario gave up on his bike at Stauf’s so I carried him the rest of the way (I am a sucker!).  Jon played on his new scooter for a bit; Maggie texted her friends and engaged in time trials with the kids; and I cleaned up.  A good ending to a long day.  I am excited to have Maria back with us even if she doesn’t want to divulge her week to me.  As long as I still get those hugs, I am ok.