Wise beyond her years

February 21, 2014February 21, 2014Leave a comment

She accomplished it.

The 2014 Brain Blast occurred last night at Edison Commons, and Ri stood nervous but proud at her poster about horses. She practiced the night before with me and did fabulous. The first time she read off her poster but made eye contact with me every once in a while. The second time she tried without reading it and she struggled a bit. I told her to look at the poster when she needed to if she got lost.
She has a knack of being able to bulls– when she doesn’t know the answer. I asked her what a horseshoe was made of and she responded without flinching “it’s made of 100 different metals.”
Hmm, really. I gently asked her how she knew that and she gently noted back to me “she just did.” I think this could either be a very good sign that she can stay composed under pressure or a very bad sign that she can lie through her teeth! I let her know that her dad is amazing at being able to answer questions that he doesn’t know the answers to and she’s inherited his quick thinking. But, she’s gotta be careful to not purposefully lie about things. I showed her Wikipedia and it’s description of what’s in a horseshoe. Basically two metals, maybe three or four. She lurched back and looked surprised.
“Really?”
The day of Brain Blast, she did not want to practice. She wouldn’t practice with David or my mom. I took her for a quick walk when I got home from work to calm her down. She was nervous but not overly so. We couldn’t find her name when we arrived because another girl had set up camp in her spot. We didn’t let Ri know (no unnecessary stress) and we set up in another location next to a “Cheesehead” (his project was how to make cheese). A few of his friends came up and started tasting the cheese samples. No one approached Ri. My mama bear sonar went off. I had to fight my urge to grab a random parent and ask him to hear Ri’s presentation. I did inform her that lots of kids were just hanging out and people were passing by their posters.
She seemed a little dejected but then her teacher came by and listened and asked questions. I had to move away so I didn’t butt in and tell Ri what to say. Let her be her, Mom! I kept that mantra in my head the rest of the night whenever I wanted to help her talk about the bridle she had as an exhibit or some of the fun facts she wrote down (actually, I did mention a fun fact once to keep the conversation going – I couldn’t resist).

She did really well with staying calm under pressure. She kept asking the time so I knew she was ready to go. But we hung in for an hour. Mario was very sweet with her, too. These two take care of each other, for sure. When I whispered to him that Ri was a little nervous and anxious for people to see her poster, he walked up to her and hugged her. Then he asked her to tell him about horses. It was darling.

She asked if she could walk around and see other people’s projects. She hung with a few boys from her class and watched their experiments. She ate a cupcake. She seemed fine and dandy. It was me that was a nervous wreck. We left an hour later and she picked Bob Evans for dinner (Cap City was first but the wait was too long). I asked her if she had fun. She hesitantly said yes. I asked if she’d do anything different next year and she answered “I’d do an experiment to attract more people.”
I thought that was extremely mature and self-aware of her. She didn’t throw a tantrum that less people approached her than she expected. She didn’t blame anyone. She didn’t make excuses. She acknowledged reality and took accountability. Her horse presentation was good and something she enjoyed talking about but she also accepted the fact that kids seemed more attracted to experiments. I’m telling you, she is wise beyond her years.
While at Bob Evans, Mario had a meltdown because he wanted to see pictures of his food choices rather than mere words (yes, that is our Mario). Ri gently consoled him and then said “we will get you extra yummy chocolate chip pancakes and I will play tic-tac-toe with you until our food comes, ok little buddy?” He smiled and hugged her. Yep, wise beyond her years.

Future careers

February 19, 2014February 19, 2014Leave a comment

It came to me last night. Maria is going to be a lawyer and Mario is going to be an actor.

I took the kids upstairs last night to get them ready for bed. On the way up, I asked Mario if he gave Grandma and Peepaw a kiss and hug when they left that afternoon. He looked away from me as he muttered the word “yeah” and I could see a little grin. I repeated my question and asked him to tell me the truth. He looked at me and explained that he forgot. As he explained, he tried to jump from the bed to hug me. I stepped back and told him “no playing” until we talked. He fell to the ground and looked up at me with pathetic, watery eyes and cried “I can’t believe you wouldn’t hug me. My own mother wouldn’t hug me!”
Maria swooped in like Superwoman and started at me.
“Mom, how could you be so mean to Mario? All he wanted was to see his mom when he got home and you won’t even hug him?!”
I explained to Ms. Justice that I just wanted Mario to understand that he needs to appreciate all he gets from his family and make sure he says thank you to people. Maria started it up again:
“He did say thank you, mom. He even hugged them earlier in the day. But he couldn’t kiss them because they left too quickly. He would have ran out and grabbed them if he knew they were leaving but he was upstairs cleaning his room for you.”
I knew that was an exaggeration, which Maria has gotten very good at lately. Adding one little, additional fact to seal the deal. Meanwhile, Mario stood to the side of the room looking completely dejected. I walked up to him and said “I love you pumpkin. I just want you to appreciate all you have. Now give me a hug.” As I reached out to wrap my arms around him, he backed away. I could see him start to smile but he held it back.
“I won’t hug you now. You wouldn’t even let me hug you earlier so I won’t hug you now.”
He looked away towards the wall and I am almost sure he was smiling. He does this so I will keep going after him and beg him to let me hug him.
When I walked away, he faked a little, muffled cry. I walked back and wrapped my arms around him. He wiggled around. I continued to hug him and kiss him. He finally gave in and let me hug him without restraint. He eventually looked up at me, brushed the hair out of my face, looked at me with a serious look, and said “love you, mom” just like actors I used to watch on the Guiding Light soap opera.
Maria joined in the hug. As she leaned over me, she explained “we just want to be perfect for you and that’s hard to do all the time so you need to understand that and not get so upset.” Just like a trial advocate who taught me in law school.
Heaven help me.

Things I missed

February 18, 2014February 18, 2014Leave a comment

Top ten things I missed while the kids were in Disney world:

10. Playing football with Mario in the family room and letting him tackle me to the floor.
9. Taking an evening walk with Ri and Rocco and getting to listen to her talk about her day.
8. Watching Mario fight imaginary battles by jumping and kicking and sparring against evil all over the family room.
7. Laughing at Ri’s crazy hipster poses and hand gestures while Jon tries to talk to her.
6. Reading books to Mario and Ri as we snuggle together under the covers.
5. Coming downstairs to see Ri babying Rocco and feeding him his breakfast.
4. Hearing Mario give commands to Rocco like “sit” and “stay” and watching his face light up when Rocco actually listens.
3. Playing Mario’s and Ri’s favorite before-bed-time game – “getting butts” – which entails them jumping on the bed and trying to escape before I capture them and madly tickle them (yes, my rendition baby prison, dad!)
2. Hearing them say “I love you, mom” every morning before they head off to school and getting a smooch on the cheek and a bear hug without any complaints from them.
1. Waking up with one or both of them in between Jon and me sleeping soundly and looking like tender fairy tale creatures that I want to stare at all day and night.

Glad to have you back kiddos!

Woman’s Best Friend

February 17, 2014February 17, 2014Leave a comment

This bundle of love was my running/walking partner all weekend. The kids have been loving life in Disneyworld between buffet meals, 70 degree weather, animated character greetings, and cool rides. Meanwhile, Rocco and I have been working it out in all this snow. We went for a total of 26 miles together over Saturday and Sunday – a marathon!
I realized how much I absorb when I run with the pup versus when I run alone. With the pup, I have no iPod. I am forced to concentrate on the trees, birds, clouds, yards. I think about writing that letter to my sis I’ve been wanting to write. I consider taking those hip-hop classes I always wanted to try. I smile at the fat robin trying to get her grip on the tiny branch bending to hold her. I am grateful for my folks and the lessons they have taught me. I appreciate all that I have been given and respectful of how fleeting it all is….

And then Rocco finds a stick and I get jerked to the right as he stops dead cold in the snow to chew away at it.

I prod him along and he eventually rips off a small piece of the stick to chew as we carry on. He loves to run ahead of me and I don’t mind it because he makes me keep a pace. However, my dog trainer and hubby continue to razz me about making him heel. What I really enjoy is taking him to the woods by our house. It is about a quarter to half mile loop. I can typically let Rocco off his leash because the only other visitors have dogs who run off-leash as well. I have been training Rocco to heel when I first let him off leash or when we are approaching the bridge and I can’t see who may be up ahead. He’s doing better each day with it. But I love when I finally say “OK” to him and he is able to run free. He runs with such force – like a stallion – and he seems overjoyed with his ears flapping.

And then he stops when he no longer sees me and waits for me to catch up. Such a gentleman. Then he lifts up his leg and pees on new territory. Such a gentleman. I love having a pup back in my life.
Ri and Mario have grown attached to him. Mario loves to wrestle with him and try to grab toys from his mouth. The last thing our trainer would recommend but it’s sweet to watch a boy and his dog play so hard (plus, Mario and Rocco get worn out, which is a blessing). Ri just loves to cuddle with him which is fairly hard to do because he is a bit of a loner when he decides to rest. But he has warmed up to Ri and often gives her kisses our of the blue.
I hope this little bundle of fur is able to see the kids off to college. I certainly don’t think we’ll have any trouble keeping him in shape after our runs this weekend.

G for Grumpy

February 12, 2014February 12, 2014Leave a comment

I walked in the door this morning after hitting the gym and found this precious sight. Mario was reading his baggie book out loud while Ri listened. He struggled with the word “grumpy”. He saw the expression on the boy’s face in the book and took a stab at the word.
“He is ‘angry.”
Maria gently corrected him.
“Good try little buddy. It’s not ‘angry.’ It starts with a ‘g.’ Try it again.”
“Oh, grumpy!” Mario exclaimed. He must have recalled reading that word with his teacher earlier.
Maria praised him.
He completed the book and asked me to sign his paper. Maria spoke up.
“I already completed it, Mom. You just need to sign your name.”
I looked at the paper. It had the book’s title on it, the date, and then the words “Mario did amazing!” in the Comments section. I felt a burst of happiness at the entire sight, and knew my Wednesday would be wonderful.

Olympic joy

February 9, 2014February 9, 2014Leave a comment

We were all watching the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics on Friday night. Even Rocco. The ballet piece was fabulous and I commented how I wish I would have continued to practice ballet when I was young.

“Why?” Maria asked.

“Because I could have been a famous ballerina and you could have seen me perform all over the world.”

Maria turned around from her perch on my lap and sweetly said “then you wouldn’t be the mom you are today.”
Mario added “yea, we love you just the way you are.”

It was a marvelous way to end the night.

They both snuggled against me: Ri laid her head on my leg and Mario cozied against my chest and under my right arm.

The ballerina twirled. I kissed Mario’s head. I held Ri’s hand. Yes indeed. This is way better than being a ballerina.

Surviving Winter

February 7, 2014Leave a comment

This Winter is absolutely killin’ me. I think they said we’ve had over 29 inches of snow and a ridiculous number of days at 15 degrees or below. I can’t stand not being able to get up in the morning and take a run. I actually drove to the gym this morning, which already irritates me because I can’t stand having to drive to a gym (when I got home and Ri saw that I drove she gasped “Mary Menkedick Ionno DROVE to the gym?!”). Once there, I can’t stand to run on a treadmill so I hit the weights. I will look like the Hulk by springtime.
At least the kiddos have gotten out here and there to play. It’s great having Rocco around because he’s always in a playful spirit. The kids immediately latch onto it and join right in with him.

Last weekend, Grandma Ionno came down to stay with us. Alana and Gio came over, too. It was a whoopin’ good time. We took the kids to Galaxy Games and Golf on Saturday afternoon. They climbed up and down the gym set for 45 minutes. I joined them for 20 minutes and was exhausted when I went to sit down. All of them were actually sweating when they came out. Love it.

It wouldn’t be such a hit in the pocket if we left after the gym. But the kids are addicted to the video games, or moreover, the tickets generated from playing the video games. It floors me how a kid can spend over $20 to get 100 tickets and then have a choice of a plastic alien, a bag of sweet-tarts, or a balloon. But, I’m the idiot that keeps buying tokens….

It’s worth it to see the smiles on their faces. Patty hung right in there with me amidst the insanity of people running all over the place (kids and adults). She can hang really well. No wonder she can still take all four grand kids for days on end. She is the energizer bunny.

After Galaxy, we headed home to chill for a while. The kids played the rest of the day and evening (they got a sleepover!). It is a beautiful thing to have a niece and nephew practically the same age as my kids. And to have them at an age where they get along well and get excited at the prospect of a sleepover is all the better. Weekend trips to hang with my aunts (who were only a couple years older than me) make me appreciate the importance of routine cousin get-togethers.
On Sunday morning, the kids begged to head to DK Diner for breakfast. Ri and Mario had been filling Alana’s and Gio’s heads with stories of their incredible, gargantuan donuts. We made it before the big rush and promptly segregated ourselves to a girl table and boy table. Mario had to sit at the bar where he and Jon sit every Saturday morning (and Ri when she goes). Mario interacts with a cook named Mario. The cook Mario hooks little Mario up with some serious scrambled eggs. Then Mario adds a big chocolate long john to the mix. Gio copied Mario’s order, and they both sat staring at SpongeBob on the tv.

Meanwhile, us ladies sat at a table and talked about fractions and our favorite music and our crushes. Alana got a cinnamon roll the size of her head and Ri switched it up with a chocolate croissant. They both decided on Mickey Mouse pancakes and devoured them.

I wish Patty and I could have taken a walk but the cold and snow kept us inside. The kids loved having us all together though (all the kids slept with Patty on the floor in the family room Saturday night). Alana and Gio had to leave us on Sunday evening to get ready for school but Patty stayed to watch the first half of the Super Bowl. We made chili and got chips and dip. The kids wrestled with me and jumped all around with glee in having Grandma around. Mario wanted us all to root for Denver but Grandma was adamant that she wanted Seattle. She must have had that grandma intuition…!

Who needs snow to sled?

January 20, 2014January 20, 2014Leave a comment

Sledding in 2014 – Check!

The other day when it hit 50 degrees and I walked down the street watching the snow and ice melt into a muddy mess, a thought came to mind. It was January and we had not gone sledding yet. Maybe that wasn’t too strange since there are two more months of Winter but with all of the snow we have had in the last month and a half, I worry that there will be little to snow coming in the future (or there will be snow but it will be -15 degrees outside).

On Saturday night, we did a switch-a-roo with Patrick and Carrie. They took Mario and we took Alana for the night. When Mario came home Sunday morning, and trekked snow in the house, it hit me. “Let’s try to go sledding!” (it also hit me that he needs to learn to take his boots off, but that’s another post). There is only one decent sledding hill around us. It’s a small but steep hill at Wyman Woods. And it’s usually pure dirt if you get there after 10 am because everyone goes there.

It was 10:30. Was it worth a try?

A unanimous “Yes” from us all so we jumped in our snow suits and went for it. We parked a block away thinking there would be no parking. We drug the plastic sleds over the sidewalk and crossed the street. The kids ran towards the hill.

“It has some snow, mom! And there is no one here!”

They were being generous but at that point, it could have been all dirt and we would have tried it. It’s at those moments that I appreciate my pops. If there’s one other person on this earth who would have plunged into that hill with all his might no matter the lack of snow, it’s my dad. He taught me to how to go with what ya got and make the most fun of it. So the hill barely has any snow left on it, deal with it…. So the hill has bumps all over it that could break your back, big deal…. So there isn’t any other sane folks out here sledding, more fun for us! I could hear his voice like he was standing right next to me (after all, this is the man that hitched a plastic baby pool to the back of his four-wheeler and drug Ri all around when they got a snowfall at the farm).
So, when the kids turned to me waiting to see what I’d say about sledding, my response was a loud roar proclaiming: “Let’s do this!”

And “do this” we did. Ri went down first and I thought her head may pop off. With each bump she hit, you could see her bottom rise up and her head jerk.

But she has that Menkedick insanity in her and kept going back for more (including a ride down with me where I was convinced that my tailbone cracked). Mario loved it, too. He accidentally conquered an ice ramp that I am sure some nutty teen built. I started him off a good twenty feet from it at the top of the hill but he swerved right towards it as he flew down the hill. Ri and I looked at each other in fear and before we could blink, he hit it right on and flew into the air at least three feet. He jettisoned back to the ground with a crash of plastic and rode out the rest of the ride until he landed 50 feet away from the ramp. We waited and cringed waiting for a giant wail. But all we saw was a little guy rising from his plastic sled and walking towards us.

“Are you ok, darlin'” I yelled to him.

“That was awesome! I can’t believe I hit it!”

To be six years old.

I remember times at French Park with my dad. I remember having a bit more fear in my heart when I sled down those park hills – they were ginormous to me (I wonder what they’d look like today?). I remember laughing a lot and having a wonderful time. And I remember my dad jumping on his sled and braving the hills with me. I am glad I can do the same with my kiddos.

At the end of our adventure, after we were all banged up and our tailbones were aching, I looked over at my kids and quoted one of Mario’s favorite lines from Ghostbusters: “we came, we saw, we kicked its butt” (I had to be appropriate with my language – even though Mario corrected me and said “no, mom, it’s a–!”)!”

Chipotle love

January 11, 2014Leave a comment

These babes make me topple over with the love I have for them. I let Ri Grace have a whole burrito (black beans, cheese and sour cream) at Chipotle after she begged me the entire time we stood in line. When I ordered her one, she exclaimed “you are the best mom ever!” So worth a burrito!

Too Much Praise!

January 10, 2014January 10, 20141 Comment

So I remember reading an article similar to this one back when Maria was a toddler. And I remember thinking “that is such bullish–! You can never praise a kid too much.”

If there is one fu– up that I have had as a mom, I think this ranks up there (god knows I have had quite a few). I am able to completely verify the accuracy of the study in this article.

My sweet Maria has only ever been told since birth what an amazingly wonderful, special, fantastic, incredible girl she is. Any project she works on warrants a “what a spectacular job” no matter if it’s mediocre or truly spectacular. Any sport she attempts warrants a “you are a machine out there” no matter if she tripped over everyone. Any drawing she created warranted “that is gorgeous” even if she scribbled and put in little effort. Get my drift?
And I thought “what a great mom I am lavishing all this praise on my girl.”
And she did and continues to do, wonderful things. She’s passionate, adventurous, caring, loving, aware, funny, smart. But she’s also hesitant to try new things or to push herself beyond her known capabilities. She will, at times, but it takes work to get her there. That is why after reading this article, I was beating myself up. It’s hard to think of Ri as having low self-esteem. She is boisterous and not afraid to talk to people and always ready to take a trip and see new sights. She asks questions of adults when she doesn’t understand. She introduces herself to strangers.
But she also gets worried that she’s not as good a reader as her classmates. That she’s uglier than her girlfriends. That she isn’t motivated like her colleagues. That her teacher thinks she’s stupid. When I ask her to try soccer, she doesn’t want to. When I tell her to try to finish a long article, she complains (now that could be pure laziness!). When I tell her to draw an animal she hasn’t drawn, she hesitates.
Is it because I praised her so much that she doesn’t want to risk disappointing me with a new project she doesn’t know if she can complete well? Have I inadvertently caused her to avoid challenges?
Errhh. It’s so frustrating. It’s also humbling. Here I am praising my kid left and right and inadvertently judging the mom who doesn’t – when all along I could have learned some tips from her. It also can’t be the end of the world. There are plenty of “right” things I have done with that baby girl. I’m over the delusion that I will be the perfect mom. I just don’t want to screw her up too much (by the way, Mario is a whole other story – he thrives with excessive praise but there are quite a few other areas that I need to work on…).
So, I will keep this article in mind when I have told Ri for the 10th time how incredible her drawing looks of two stick figures. And I will continue to work on exercises that raise her self-esteem because I know my girl can reach the farthest star in the sky if she believes fully in herself. And I will continue to appreciate myself as a mother trying my hardest to raise intelligent, thoughtful, confident, and empathetic kids.

Amen!

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Kids