Pumpkin patches

October 25, 2013Leave a comment

I am in disbelief over my babies at age three and now at ages 8 and 6 at the pumpkin patch. What will it feel like when they are 15 and 13? The thought of it makes my heart drop like a boulder into my stomach. There are certainly those days when I ask myself “when will they be 18 and able to take care of themselves?” But those days seem to happen a lot less than they did when they were 5 months old and I was up for the tenth time in the wee hours of the night. Now they can make cereal on their own, sleep through the night, play games together. It’s the perfect time where they are somewhat self-sufficient but also completely in love with me. I get hugs with no provocation. I get pleas for good-night kisses. I get random “I love yous” through the day.
Fellow moms tell me that it gets even better as they continue to grow up and develop their sense of selves, their independence. And I can see that as I watch those moms beam as their child scores a soccer goal or makes the Dean’s List.

But I will miss that constant affection and connection that I have with my babes right now. The thrill that runs through me when I step in the door and get knocked over on the ground with hugs. The warmth of two kids’ bodies curled against me as I read them a book. And the immense joy they exhibit by simply being dropped off from a hayride into a patch of pumpkins.

Treasure

October 4, 2013October 4, 2013Leave a comment

Mario has been begging me to pick him up from school this week. I had a break in the middle of the afternoon Wednesday so I surprised him. His face beamed when he saw me and I saw him mouth “there’s my mom!” to his teacher. I even got a big hug when he reached the final step.
He begged to go to the park with some other boys. I trailed behind as they raced ahead to the gym set on the park turf. They jumped and kicked and tackled one another. Maria played with her friend Anna and acted like a mother hen to the boys when one stumbled over another and began wailing for his mom.

“Where’s your mom, sweetie?” she asked him gently as she put her arm around his shoulder. She walked him over to where he was pointing and delivered him safely to his mother.

Mario continued to rough house with the other boys until all of the moms decided to go. Mario was a sweaty mess when we left and jammed his thumb moments before I told him we had to leave. Needless to say, it was Meltdown City. He reached his hands up for me to hold him. I scooped him up and carried him to the car tussling his blond hair with my free hand. He laid his head on my shoulder.

I completely absorbed myself in the moment. I remember his musty smell that would have repulsed me if it came from anyone else; but from him it was like smelling nectar. I remember hearing his exhausted breathing and the weight of his tiny six-year-old body against my chest. I was in a love cocoon and did not want to break out: couldn’t we just stand on the street in front of the car for eternity?

I have learned to treasure those moments and cement them in my brain. They come in handy when I’m sitting in a meeting listening to the fifth person give her take of why we should follow her lead. Or when I’m biking home. Or when I’m on hold with the doctor’s office. Or when I’m in the shower.

They make life sweet and delicious.

Mario continues to party

September 5, 2013September 5, 20131 Comment

I started Mario’s birthday off right yesterday. I brought him home a chocolate long john donut after my run (of course, I brought me one home, too, which defeats the purpose of the run but how can one resist?!). He was on the living room floor in his boxers playing on the iPad. I serenaded “happy birthday” to him and got a big ol’ Mario grin from him.

I took cupcakes into school for him. The night before, three moms asked if I was making homemade cupcakes as if buying Kroger brand ones was a sin. Sure enough, as soon as we walked in the room, a mom of a little girl in Mario’s class held a box full of homemade goodies with colorful stickers pronouncing “Harriet is 6!” I shot her a look and continued on with my synthetic neon-colored iced cupcakes with my chin up high.

I returned to Mario’s school at 1:30 to help pass out the cupcakes. I juggled three calls and document drafting from 12:30-1:15 to get to the school on time. I swore a while back that when I made a commitment to my kids it would take a major catastrophe for me to not show up. And it was worth the juggling. Mario beamed when I showed up and took me all over the playground.

He even let me get a picture of him with Harriet. It took all my might to explain to him I had to leave and come back to get him but he finally let me go. I ran home to mow the grass so my folks and Patty would not see a jungle, and went straight back to pick him and Quinn and Maria up. Ri ran up to me and asked “did Mario get his name called on the announcements for his birthday?” I told her I didn’t know. Her flippant response:
“No, he didn’t. Do you know who did? Ms. Harriet. That is who. She has the nerve to have the same birthday as Mario and she took all the credit. I marched down to Ms. Bauer’s (the office assistant) office and told her they forgot my brother’s birthday.”

“Will they announce him tomorrow?”

“They better” she replied. Then she added “Harriet may not make it to school on Friday….” My mouth dropped and I started cracking up. She is her father’s child. He is Mr. Protective over his family and she is just like him. Of course, she started laughing too and meant no harm towards sweet Harriet but if you didn’t know her, you might think…!

Mario hugged Quinn like it had been years they were apart and we headed home. I went back into work for a couple hours while Ri and Sophie decked out the house with birthday decorations. Grandma Ionno came to help. We met up with Mama Meg and Peepaw and Sarah and Jorge at Barleys for dinner. We reminisced about the time Mario was in his crib and Jon went in to get him. He asked if I was home and Jon said no. Then he pulled out his binkie and said “well then I want Grandma (Ionno)”. Gotta love him. And the times that Sarah would come in town and Ri would cry “No Sarah” whenever she got near me. Ahh, fun times.
After dinner, Maria had a game “for people age 18 and older” when we got home. It did not involve alcohol unfortunately. But it was precious. She had paper slips in little wine glasses and each couple had to fill out the paper based on the question she gave us. Each question related to Mario’s future. Jon and I got “how many kids will Mario have?” I wrote 5 (Jon wanted 0). Sarah and Jorge got “what kind of pets would Mario have?” They wrote a “guinea pig named Spike, mini pig named Porky, fish named Fluffy, and dog named Pirate.” Pirate is now a leading choice in pup names for us. Meg and dad got “what will Mario do when he gets older?” They wrote “be an acrobat in Circue de Soleil.” Love it, and weirdly perceptive.
Patty got “where will Mario live?” She wrote “in Rome Italy with me.”

After the game wrapped up, Ri quipped “This boy of ours is going to have an interesting life.” Indeed.

Ri asked Mario the same questions we answered and he said he’d have 1 kid, 3 dogs, be an acrobat, and live in Marion with Grandma Ionno. Meg and dad won with Patty a close second!
We ate sheet cake and laughed at these crazy little beings we call our kids. Mario opened his presents and fainted when he got Skylanders from Ri (she used her gift card from Christmas to buy them).

He got a Ninjago t-shirt to go with the Lego set Grandma Ionno got him on Sunday. She spoils him rotten. He about fell over again when he opened Grandma Meg’s and Peepaw’s gift – a Mario Bros. wii game. Sarah and Jorge brought him coins from all over the world (he will appreciate those when he’s a world traveling acrobat) and a bullseye and stand for his target shooting! We got him shoes and undies (definitely a parent gift) and a new bike. He certainly is loved.

The party had to close down at 9 since school was happening in the morning. Jon left with everyone else to pick up a kennel from Sherry. Nothing like stepping from one party to another – Jon brings home our new pup tomorrow night.

Weekend bliss

July 28, 2013July 28, 2013Leave a comment

This weekend rocked on so many levels – the weather was incredible at a mild 72 degrees; the kids were in great moods; I didn’t get bombarded with work calls….

When I came home on Friday, Ri and Mario were hiding in the trees with their walkie talkies. I saw Mario but didn’t dare tell him I did or he would have been so upset. He loves thinking that he’s getting one over on us. Both of them were in camo – Maria was wearing Mario’s 4T jacket and shorts – and rockin’ them out!

On Saturday, we cranked out some house cleaning due to the incessant rain. Ri cleaned the top of the fridge and Mario cleaned the floor (he stopped prematurely because Dragonvale kept calling out to him). Ri hung in with me though – we can count on her to help clean anywhere but her own room.

The rain let up in the late afternoon and the kids and I took a walk up to Lazy Days festival at the library. I was a sucker and let them each buy a hand-made stuffed animal from a local vendor, Cherrie. I justified the purchase by telling myself that I’m supporting local business – I was secretly hoping that one of the kids would get the pig with a tutu but they chose the alligator and owl. She had the cutest animals ever.

Ri had to get her shaved ice drink with apple and lemon-lime flavors. She loves those things.

We got home and played Candy Land. Mario opted to continue his Dragonvale game on my phone so Ri and I played together. Ri has gotten a bit of a competitive streak since playing softball so when I took the lead by picking up the Ice Cream Princess and she got pushed back to near the start of the game by picking up the gingerbread man, I knew there was trouble. She threw our plastic men and the cards and cried “I can’t I believe I’m going to lose to my mom! I can’t even beat an old person!”

Mario cocked his head at me and quipped “She sure has some emotions!” That added fuel to the fire.

After she calmed down, we took a bike ride to the park. Ri loves when I rode my bike with her rather than run so Mario hopped on my bike in the “baby” seat he can still fit into and we were off. We zoomed down two hills and therefore, had to go up two of them. Ri was a trooper pushing her bike up. At the park, Mario wanted to try the monkey bars. He got across three bars and fell. Determined, he tried again. And made it. He was charged up.

I cheered him on but knew in the back of my head the entire time that Ri was gonna be upset if she couldn’t do it. Sure enough, she tried over and over but couldn’t get across. I told her that I could never do it as a kid either and there were lots of kids that couldn’t do it. Nothing helped. Mario tried to help by detailing every step he took to go across the bars. That really didn’t help. Ri stomped off and got on her bike to leave. We joined her and I continued to tell her that she was wonderful at other things. Mario chimed in with the sweetest little attribute: “Ri, I’m so scared to go off the high dive and you do it without being scared at all!” What a doll. Those moments seal the deal as to why we chose to have two kids. Ri smiled and kissed his cheek (Maria style which means she smashed her lips into the side of his face).

This morning, Mario got up for a run at 7:10. He got into bed with me in his t-shirt and shorts and whispered “I’m going for a run.” I heard the door open and knew he was off. Jon and I stood outside and watched him run all the way to the end of the street. He wants to sweat so much that he has “big sweat balls” dripping from his face, he tells us. My boy.
Ri took a four mile bike ride with me to Stauf’s and Giant Eagle. Her butt killed when we got home.

I made the kids play outside while I mowed the grass and picked weeds. Mario played like he was all alone in the woods and had to build his own fire to survive. Ri kept begging to play with him but he refused so Jon helped Ri find her own hiding spot, which of course spiked Mario’s interest. He wanted one, too. Before I knew it, there was silence for a while. I came around the corner and found them in their own secret spaces – Mario on his phone and Ri reading US Weekly that she had begged for at the store.

Pure bliss.

Summer love

July 3, 2013July 3, 2013Leave a comment

I typically sigh when someone talks about how much they love summertime.

My stock response is always: “it’s too hot!” I have always preferred Fall and Spring with their reasonable temperatures. I don’t like stepping outside and feeling like I stepped into a sauna.

But this year it’s been different for me. I have rather enjoyed this Summer and not been so exhausted with the high temperatures (it’s only the beginning if July, I know). Maybe it’s that I don’t care if I sweat like a piglet anymore – the world can gasp and point at my soaked armpits or sweat-stained shorts – doesn’t bother me a bit. Or maybe it’s that the kids are able to jump on their bikes or scooters and ride up to the park or Stauf’s without me having to haul 100 pounds in a stroller (however, I still have my days that I love to do that). Or maybe it’s that I am more observant and I find such delight in an exquisite, orange flower amongst bright green grasses or a yellow finch darting across my path to a resting spot. Or maybe, and likely the most probable, it’s that I get to enjoy gelato on the wooden bench on Grandview Avenue with two of my favorite people ever.

A Mighty Girl

May 27, 2013May 27, 2013Leave a comment

I have a son who at age four pulled a Maxim magazine off the grocery store shelf and proclaimed “she’s hot!”

Why? Not because I, or his sister, dress in tight clothes and short skirts. And certainly not because his dad is riding around with him whistling at women.

I have a daughter who put on a shirt yesterday morning and pronounced “my belly sticks out of this shirt. I’m not pretty.” This declaration after I have told Ri a thousand times that she is beautiful and amazing. And that has been reaffirmed over and over by her grandparents and dad and cousins. So why does she say such nonsense?

Hmmm…. could it be the magazines (Maxim is among many), the tv shows (“America’s Top Model” comes to mind), the media focus on all things thin and “perfect” and superficial, or the companies who market princesses with big boobs and size 0 waists to young girls.

When I was five and begged for a Barbie, I got Dusty. She was a flat-chested “barbie” with sandy brown hair cut in a straight bowl around her face, wearing jean sorts and riding a horse. And Ri wonders why I despise dresses to this day. She was my ideal. She’s who I played with every morning. I grew up in Clifton – I saw all sorts of women walking around town. Big, little, pierced, saggy, firm – you name it. And they were all beautiful in their own right.

But I still squeezed the fat rolls on my belly at night as I laid in bed. “If I could just lose this, I’d be so much prettier.” So even with my forward thinking, feminist parents, I still got caught in the trap.

I appreciate Mighty Girl drawing attention to Disney’s revamp of the young girl in Brave from a strong, every day looking heroine to a dress-off-the-shoulder, made-up princess. Sometimes I catch myself dismissing these pleas for action because I’ve heard them over and over again. But then I get one more plea and am reminded that if we didn’t have such over-glamorization and “sexing up” of our girls, there wouldn’t be so many pleas.

Mighty Girl is doing critical work to help our girls see themselves as soulful, intelligent, strong, courageous, opinionated people – not sex objects and eye candy.

When Ri squeezed one of Mario’s friends the other day, Mario yelled out “My sister is really strong, Quinn! She can hurt you!” And when Mario needed help on his bike, he knew Ri would be at his side (“you got it Mario; don’t be scared little guy!”). I appreciate that Mario sees his sis as a strong girl.

Most recently, Ri has fallen in love with softball. She is not the strongest batter but she has been persevering through missed swings and not giving up.

“Heile Menkedick Ionno’s don’t give up!” she chirps at me, repeating the words I have drilled into her head for years as she takes another swing.

Keep it up, Ri, and don’t worry about bellies. You are beautiful.

Growing up Mario

May 19, 2013May 19, 2013Leave a comment

Yep, that’s slick boy handing out donuts to his classmates on Friday. Jon reported that he walked into the classroom, held up the box of donuts, and pronounced “Who wants donuts?” He beamed in delight as everyone yelled “Mario has donuts! Mario’s here!” I think he rather enjoys his ego stroked….

But oh, is he versatile. He goes from city slicker to country hunter in a flash of a second. He wasted no time getting his camo on and heading out to Big Mario’s woods to hunt turkey with Jon. He was dejected when they heard a few but Jon had unloaded his gun already. I am fearful for those turkeys when he gets old enough to shoot.

And if that’s not impressive, he has yet another persona – sweet, playful, curious Mario. We went to the river this morning to find cool rocks and I almost cried when he picked one up and admired it. “Isn’t this one beautiful, mom?”

My body could have melted at his feet. I told Jon when we got home that I am going to miss that innocent, precious five-year old boy who holds my hand and giggles as we throw rocks in the water together.

Jon mustered up five little words in response as he stared out the window: “I know what you mean.”

Mother’s Day 2013

May 13, 2013May 13, 2013Leave a comment

Top Fifteen memories from Mom’s Day 2013

1. Watching Ri and Mario fight over who gives me my gift bag.
2. Using my Garmin GPS watch from Jon and the kids and clocking eight-minute miles.
3. Making frames with Ri to give to the Crutcher ladies.
4. Getting a voice mail from Meg and dad wishing me a great day and telling me I was the best mom (after Meg, of course!).
5. Hanging out with hilarious and loud women all afternoon (Patty fit in with us Heile women perfectly).
6. Scratching a winning lottery ticket from Patty for $8!
7. Receiving a ceramic painted mushroom to place in my garden and a flower basket from mom.
8. Eating chocolate truffle that Patty made.
9. Having Liz and Mag register me for the Reds Stadium 10K on June 1 (I finally get to go on the Reds’ field – I’ve been dreaming of that since 6th grade).
10. Getting a hug from Grace-Bug.
11. Watching Patty climb a tree.
12. Experiencing Lou running away from us after Ri accidentally let go of his leash. Pure madness on Bluff Ave. as mom, me, and the five kids chased Lou through yards and the street for eight minutes of intense emotion ranging from panic (“what if he bites that other dog!”) to gut-splitting laughter (watching the kids and mom try to pounce on the leash to catch him).
13. Learning how to angle the iPhone camera to hide a double chin (thanks Mag).
14. Eating leftovers when everyone departed.
15. Walking up to Stauf’s with M & M at 8 pm to get a coffee, bagel and giant chocolate chip cookie and hear them both say I’m the best mom ever (buying the chocolate chip cookie probably helped)!

Poetry and earrings

May 10, 2013May 10, 2013Leave a comment

Last night, Ri brought me home a present tied up in a pink paper box and a purple strung. I opened it and saw a beautiful pair of homemade earrings. They were made of a pearl stone and a glass leaf. Ri’s Kids Club teacher brought in the beads and earring stems for the kids to make mom’s day presents. So sweet.

When I saw them, I hugged Ri and told her they were absolutely beautiful. I told her I loved them so much. She told me how she made them and hugged me hard. Mario sat on the other side of the table watching us. He didn’t say a word. Other times in the past, when Ri has made me something and he hasn’t, he gets upset. He runs away and complains that he’s a “horrible son” or he says that I don’t love him as much as Ri. But he had no such reaction last night. After Ri and I hugged, I asked them both what we should have for dinner and the night proceeded regularly.

Fast forward to lunch at Mario’s school today. The school hosted lunch with mom to celebrate Mother’s Day. I arrived at 11:45 and Mario and I played with the geese outside for a bit. Then as if someone had just shot him with a thought bubble, he grabbed my hand and whisked me into his classroom.

“Close your eyes mom. Close your eyes!”

I closed them.

“Ok, open!”

I looked down at his extended little hand. There laid two tiny purple twisted pipe cleaners. I didn’t know exactly what to think so I smiled and said “Wow!” Luckily he immediately chimed in and exclaimed “they are earrings I made for you, mom! Do you like them?!”

How could I not love them? But how concerned should I be that my son made these for me in order to directly compete with his sister and one-up her?!

He also made me a picture of a rainbow with my name and his on it. Perfect for my office wall. And he answered a few questions posed by his teacher about his mama. He’s so right about my favorite food….

Prior to Mario’s lunch, I got treated to muffins at Ri’s school as well as a poetry fest. Ri and each of her classmates wrote poems for their moms but only Ri and a few other of her girlfriends wrote ones directly about their moms. Ri’s poem was the sweetest, most darling poem ever written to me.

She had several other moms tearing up, thank goodness, because that was the only condition in which I was permitted to cry – if other moms did – so she wouldn’t be embarrassed having the only mom who cried. Afterwards, she gave me huge hug and sat on my lap.

I have branded this day in my mind so I can resurrect it ten years from now when both kids are running off with friends on Mother’s Day and not even dreaming of making their mom jewelry.

Loving dad more

May 8, 2013May 8, 2013Leave a comment

Ri and I took a walk about a week ago. She was on her scooter beside me and I was talking with her about the Summer. She got quiet for a few seconds and I asked what was up.

Hesitantly, she said “Mom, I feel bad telling you this but I feel like I have to.”

“You can tell me anything Ri.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking and I realize that I love dad just a bit more than I love you.”

How brutally honest my girl is. I haven’t spoken to her since.

To the contrary, I praised for being honest enough to let me know something that may hurt me. She put her arm around my waist.

“Don’t worry. I love you a lot, too, it’s just there are 11 things I love about dad and 10 I love about you. You came close.”

She proceeded to name dad’s 11 qualities (“he protects us, he makes me laugh, he watches Duck Dynasty with me…”). And my 10 (“you play with me, you love me, you come to my school..”). She informed me that we both possessed one like quality: we care about other people. I’m very happy that she sees that in both her parents because it is a value that Jon and I both believe in strongly.

So, my take-away from the conversation? I need to watch Duck Dynasty more often so I can get to 11!

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: love