Christmas 2012

momheileThe kids had a marvelous Christmas holiday – how couldn’t they with all of their family around and all of the gifts to open. They got little gifts in their stockings on Sunday morning, including a Justin Bieber poster and an Avengers poster. On Christmas Eve, they got loaded down with presents at my mom’s house, including two Razor scooters that they jumped on and rode like pros (I couldn’t balance on one to save my life). They ran around with all of the cousins at the Heile’s get-together and got another load of presents from their great aunts. Maria even scored a Justin Bieber notebook and frame from the white elephant exchange (she also begged Susie to give her the Barbie doll head that Susie nabbed out of the exchange; Susie finally gave in and gave it to her in exchange for wearing Ri’s headband for five minutes).

americangirlbentenMaria woke up first on Christmas morning. She kept clearing her throat in her room to try and wake us up. Finally, she sauntered into our room and gave me a big hug along with a “Merry Christmas, Mom!” Precious. Mario ran in five minutes later all glassy-eyed and disheveled. When he saw Ri’s face and heard her excitement, he woke up and yelled “It’s Christmas! Lets go downstairs people!” We headed down the steps, turned the corner and witnessed a ton of gifts left by Santa. He even left some cookie crumbs which Maria happily picked up and threw into her mouth. “Santa left some crumbs for me, mom!”

The kids wasted no time tearing into presents. Ri opened her American Girl doll first, which I was hoping she wouldn’t do since it was her “big” gift. But she remained excited when opening up her other gifts, including gifts of underwear and leggings. Mario opened up his Ben Ten watch first and loved it but immediately moved onto opening the next one. He ripped through his presents like a tornado but still managed to say “cool” or “ahhh” after opening each one (even pjs). When he was finished, we brought out his punching bag and thought he’d be flabbergasted. He was happy with it but ready to open more. He had turned into a voracious animal ready to devour any gift in sight.

We went upstairs and started to fill the bottom of the punching bag with half-gallon jugs of water. I went back and forth from the sink to his room 20 times and it still needed more. But at least Mario could hit it and it didn’t tip over. Good enough for Christmas morning. Maria played American Girl with me while I filled the bag. I played the ticket agent and she spoke for Caroline, her doll who was heading to London.

menkedick

megrisiblingsGrandma Meg, Peepaw, Sarah, Jorge and Jackson (yes, even party animal Jackson) arrived at 10 am. The kids pulled all of their arms up the stairs to show off their presents from Santa and spoke in lightening speed about their mornings. Peepaw tried to sneak downstairs to assemble Mario’s trampoline but Mario smelled him out like a bloodhound and quickly descended to the basement. Mario ended up assembling his present with Peepaw and Jorge. When they finished, Mario dashed up the steps and begged us all to see the creation he helped make. We don’t think he quite understood that was his present. Nonetheless, he loved it and bounced from the chair to the trampoline over and over.

peepawWe ate some yummy quiche with the eggs from Meg-pie’s chickens and cinnamon rolls, and then we opened presents. The kids kept with their routine and ripped open their presents with a fury. Ri got a horsey comforter and sheets and some awesome books and puzzle. I keep hoping some book series will entice her. Sarah and I are hoping Judy Blume books will do the trick. Mario got his trampoline and a puzzle and a Spanish/English kids book filled with photographs that Jorge took. After they tore through their presents, the adults opened their presents one-by-one. The Menkedick tradition – to hum and hem over each present that one receives. I scored big with a new coat, a collection of CDs with music selected by Jack, two books from Sarah, and two incredible framed photos of Ri and Mario. Sitting around a circle together and watching each other open gifts is one of my favorite traditions of the holiday. It brings back memories of Christmas pre-parenthood when I watched Sar and Jack squeal in delight over a truck or a doll from Santa.

pattyAfter present opening, we greeted the Ionno crew. Patty brought her signature delicious homemade treats – peanut brittle, chocolate cashews, pretzel rolos, and other fine concoctions. She also slipped in some Iced Cake Vodka that she enjoys lately over ice. Between her and Meg, I have a feeling my day is coming to become a Vodka drinker! Patrick and Carrie and Alana and Gio arrived and all of the adults were kicked to the curb – the kids had each other and had no more need for “old people” as Maria endearingly refers to us. Connie and Chris brought more cookies and treats. Why do we even have a dinner on Christmas? We should just go to town on sugar all day and then fall asleep at 7 pm.

pattygrandkidsJon’s prime rib was fantastic. Meg made a beautiful fruit salad with pomegranate seeds and kiwi. Bill and Patty baked yummy corn casseroles. I had laid out a lottery ticket on each person’s plate and it ended up being an Ionno versus Menkedick battle to see which family won the most money. The Ionno’s ended up with $9 and the Menkedick’s with $1. We not only lost the money competition but had to do the dishes because someone quickly made a rule that the family who won the least amount of money had to do dishes. My family, minus my Uncle Bill, suddenly had to hit the road to take care of their horses and dogs. Likely story…. So Bill and I put on our gloves and grabbed the kitchen towels and began to work. We are good sports. Patty felt bad and jumped in to help. All other Ionno’s sat around the dining room table and smirked! The Menkedick’s will prevail next year.

mariaalanaThen came the fifth round of present opening for Ri and Mario. Patty brought her big red bags full of toys for each kid. They did a good job taking turns reaching in their bags and looking at their gifts. Patty got the girls a photo Barbie and the boys a spy phone among many other things. After they ripped through the packages, they wolfed down some cookies and headed upstairs to get in some more play. Ri and Alana came up with a plan to have Patty take them back to her house. Of course, she agreed. They packed up clothes and went straight to Patty’s car without even saying goodbye to me or Carrie. Yea, Jon and I have no doubt that we will be fighting with the teenage Ri about curfews. Everyone took off around 6 pm, and Jon and I and Mario sat in the family room together feeling like it was midnight.

Another Christmas come and gone. 2013 is waiting for us right around the corner, and I for one, cannot wait for a quiet, low-key New Year’s Eve.

Kisses

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A kiss from Ri is like a brush with a high-speed bulldozer but the intensity of it somehow gives way to a lightness that makes your heart feel like a butterfly dancing among the wildflowers.

A kiss from Mario is like a brush with a fuzzy baby chick but the delicacy of it somehow bursts open your heart and makes it feel like it’s shooting off brightly-colored confetti.

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Two different approaches to showing their love but both equally delicious. Love love love these babies’ kisses.

Like mom, like daughter

Last night I allowed Maria to have her friend, Janira over for dinner. I don’t know why I do this on a weeknight after a full day of work and the knowledge that Ri has homework to complete. But I do. While fixing spaghetti for the kids, I chowed down on six peanut butter cookies and what probably amounted to a pound of fudge. I was so hungry I didn’t feel like waiting for real food. Mistake.

I had a sugar headache within a half hour that only worsened with the kids’ screams throughout the house. I did a superb job of hiding my irritation – I even allowed the girls to do my make-up – but when we got back from dropping Janira off I hit my limit. Maria sat next to me writing on the tablecloth rather than doing her homework.

“Ri, don’t be stupid. Stop that!”

“You just called me stupid, mom. That’s just great. You think I’m stupid.”

“That’s not what I said. I said your actions were stupid. You know better than to write on the tablecloth.”

“No, mom. I heard you. I’m stupid.”

“Ri, you are not stupid and I’m not playing this game tonight. Do your homework.”

“Ugh,” she nodded back at me. She noticed my “I’m not happy” look and diverted her eyes from me to her homework.

Within two minutes, she climbed off her chair and wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m sorry for being mean, mom.”

I bear hugged her back and kissed her cheek. I told her I’m just tired and that I’m sorry for using the word “stupid” (we don’t like that word in the house). I continued to write out a check to Kids Club.

Ri scooted back onto her chair and then shot up and started singing “Tis the Season to be Jolly!” I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s the mom I know and love with a big smile on her face! Keep it on there lady!”

Yep, that’s my girl. Always wanting peace and happiness throughout the house just like her mama. I could take a snapshot of me engaging in the same antics a week ago when Ri or Mario was upset. She is my mirror image at times.

Yikes!

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Grandma get-away

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Which lady is over the age of 70? I know – the immediate answer is “none.” My sister-in-law and I are 40 and our kids haven’t quite aged us enough to look 70 (although we have our days). Whereas my mother-in-law, Patty, looks like she’s 40 with her infectious smile and petite frame and zest for life when she’s really 70+ years old! Every person who meets her is floored when they find out her age (do her genes transfer to me since I married into the family?!).

I’ve been thinking of her a lot lately because she’s been under the weather and has not been able to engage in all of the activities she is used to engaging in on a daily basis such as a mile swim, lifting weights and fast walking (yeah, all of those activities might occur in one day’s time.) She is a machine.

Nonetheless, she still managed to take Maria and Alana two weekends ago and treat them to a raucous good time in Marion. Before they headed up to Marion on Friday night, she took the girls to Tuttle Mall. They got treated to a shopping spree at Justice. She even let them shop by themselves while she and Joe waited outside the doors – pure heaven for the girls who felt independent and cool not having an adult in the store with them. Little does Patty know that she provided them with quite the memory; Maria still talks about that shopping experience today and insists that she will go by herself next time we go.

Patty also took them to the indoor playground where Maria took off her shoes and stunk up the place. My girl does not believe in wearing socks so her shoes smell horrendous. Patty had to buy her socks and clean her shoes. Poor grandma! She called me to tell me in her sweet Patty-fashion. She never comes at me accusatory or obnoxiously. She started out with a recap of what they did that evening and then proceeds into it like any other incident. But I knew at that point that we needed to get on that girl to wear socks. And don’t you know that Patty must have said something to her to get her to turn around because she is wearing socks this week. Only grandma….

Patty took them to a Halloween party in the neighborhood on Saturday night. She bought them witch costumes and all. Spoiled, they are. They both had a blast and talked about it throughout the next day. All of this and she wasn’t even feeling that great.

The day after the party, the hostess asked Patty if Ri had fun. Patty said “of course” and the hostess said “I just couldn’t tell with her.” Maria is her father when it comes to showing her emotions. She could be having a blast and you’d never be able to tell.

Patty also described to me how Alana kept talking about her school friend, Riley. Maria got sick of hearing about Riley every two seconds so when Alana began to mention her again, Maria chimed in with “we know, we know, Riley has that sweater!” And when Patty asked Maria if she wanted a shirt that she was buying for Alana because Riley had one, Ri promptly replied “no way.”

I don’t know how Patty stays sane at times with these two but I am so glad that the girls can spend time together (even if they act like the Bickerson twins, as Patty affectionately terms them). I always wished that my cousin and I spent more time together growing up. And it’s nice they have a separate place to stay outside of their homes – it creates more of a get-away to them. And Patty lets them do their thing – be it shopping by themselves or playing on the computer or hitting a Halloween party and running around with other kids.

Jon always teases me and Patty about our big mouths, our desire to always engage in conversation, and our inability to sit still. I tell him he married his mom. He shuts up after that.

I do see a lot of me in her. We have similar personalities and that’s why I just want to see her feeling back to her normal self. I know how hard it was when I got pneumonia and couldn’t do anything. I was stir-crazy. So, here’s to Patty feeling better – watch out YMCA – she will be back soon with a vengeance!

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Mario blooms

A car drove past Mario and me while we biked to school this morning. I thought the guy driving was a colleague so when we biked past him, I waved. As I waved, I noticed that the guy was not my colleague and no one I knew. I said “that’s embarrassing, Mario. I just waved at that stranger.”

Mario’s reply: “No it’s not, mom. You probably made his day. He may have been sad and now he’s not.”

These are the moments where I realize that my kids have listened and seen me, and they have instilled some of my values in their lives. Mario has seen me say “hi” to people passing by, be pleasant to workers bagging our groceries, strike up a conversation with a gentleman waiting for a bus while we waited on our bike for the traffic light to change. He has witnessed the smiles on these people’s faces after someone smiles at them, says hello to them, engages with them. And he has heard me talk about the importance of being nice to others and how you can never know when someone just needs a smile to feel better.

And so he reminded me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed about waving to that stranger but rather feel happy that I may have made someone’s day and allowed them to see the randomness that is this life – be it a stranger waving at you or a bright red Autumn leaf falling on your shoulder or a child blooming right before your eyes.

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Maria-isms

Maria stayed with Alana all weekend at Grandma and Grandpa Ionno’s house and got spoiled royally.

Jon and I missed her “Maria-isms” through the weekend. We can always count on her crazy sense of humor to get us belly laughing.

But she didn’t disappoint even if it was at the tail end of the weekend. I let her ride her bike to the grocery with me. As soon as we walked through the door, she begged me for a donut. I told her she could get a small one for her treat for the night. I left her at the donut case while I picked up some fruit. I returned and she was still contemplating.
“Seriously, Ri?!”

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“Sorry, mom. This is as hard as picking a coach on the Voice!”

Gotta love that girl. I laughed so hard that others around me couldn’t help but smile.

When we got home, Maria found the stationary bike we carried to the basement this afternoon. She called up to me. I peeked downstairs and her head was on the seat, her body stretched along the length of the bike and her legs barely touching the pedals. She was laughing and having a good ol’ time.

I went back to the dishes and ten minutes later she whispered “mom” to me. I looked behind me and there she stood with a water bottle and towel. “That was a hard workout!”

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Glad to have you home, pumpkin girl.

Parenting Advice – Show the Love

A friend forwarded this Article to me this morning. It reinforces one of my strongest beliefs as a parent: always show kids constant love and support, and don’t freak out over superficial crap. I love Toni Morrison’s story in the article. Greet your child with a smile, a hug, an “I love you” before anything else. Foster joy and wonder and commitment.

I remember scouring over parenting books when I was pregnant with Maria and reviewing the same books when pregnant with Mario. Deep down, I think I knew their limitations. They acted more like a security blanket for me as I approached being a new mom. But I remember also rolling my eyes while reading the books and thinking “they really believe they can pinpoint every move a mom should make with a child?”

One of my biggest pet peeves is self-righteousness, and a lot of articles espouse advice as if it’s the golden rule. You don’t follow it, and boy, you are a horrid parent. But this article reinforces the importance of the intangibles in childrens’ lives – the kiss on the forehead when they are heading off to school, the dance party you start up while listening to Bieber, the pat on the back when they find their shoes on their own (and in this family, that merits at least one Oreo with the pat!).

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