Future careers

It came to me last night. Maria is going to be a lawyer and Mario is going to be an actor.

I took the kids upstairs last night to get them ready for bed. On the way up, I asked Mario if he gave Grandma and Peepaw a kiss and hug when they left that afternoon. He looked away from me as he muttered the word “yeah” and I could see a little grin. I repeated my question and asked him to tell me the truth. He looked at me and explained that he forgot. As he explained, he tried to jump from the bed to hug me. I stepped back and told him “no playing” until we talked. He fell to the ground and looked up at me with pathetic, watery eyes and cried “I can’t believe you wouldn’t hug me. My own mother wouldn’t hug me!”
Maria swooped in like Superwoman and started at me.
“Mom, how could you be so mean to Mario? All he wanted was to see his mom when he got home and you won’t even hug him?!”
I explained to Ms. Justice that I just wanted Mario to understand that he needs to appreciate all he gets from his family and make sure he says thank you to people. Maria started it up again:
“He did say thank you, mom. He even hugged them earlier in the day. But he couldn’t kiss them because they left too quickly. He would have ran out and grabbed them if he knew they were leaving but he was upstairs cleaning his room for you.”
I knew that was an exaggeration, which Maria has gotten very good at lately. Adding one little, additional fact to seal the deal. Meanwhile, Mario stood to the side of the room looking completely dejected. I walked up to him and said “I love you pumpkin. I just want you to appreciate all you have. Now give me a hug.” As I reached out to wrap my arms around him, he backed away. I could see him start to smile but he held it back.
“I won’t hug you now. You wouldn’t even let me hug you earlier so I won’t hug you now.”
He looked away towards the wall and I am almost sure he was smiling. He does this so I will keep going after him and beg him to let me hug him.
When I walked away, he faked a little, muffled cry. I walked back and wrapped my arms around him. He wiggled around. I continued to hug him and kiss him. He finally gave in and let me hug him without restraint. He eventually looked up at me, brushed the hair out of my face, looked at me with a serious look, and said “love you, mom” just like actors I used to watch on the Guiding Light soap opera.
Maria joined in the hug. As she leaned over me, she explained “we just want to be perfect for you and that’s hard to do all the time so you need to understand that and not get so upset.” Just like a trial advocate who taught me in law school.
Heaven help me.

Things I missed

Top ten things I missed while the kids were in Disney world:

10. Playing football with Mario in the family room and letting him tackle me to the floor.
9. Taking an evening walk with Ri and Rocco and getting to listen to her talk about her day.
8. Watching Mario fight imaginary battles by jumping and kicking and sparring against evil all over the family room.
7. Laughing at Ri’s crazy hipster poses and hand gestures while Jon tries to talk to her.
6. Reading books to Mario and Ri as we snuggle together under the covers.
5. Coming downstairs to see Ri babying Rocco and feeding him his breakfast.
4. Hearing Mario give commands to Rocco like “sit” and “stay” and watching his face light up when Rocco actually listens.
3. Playing Mario’s and Ri’s favorite before-bed-time game – “getting butts” – which entails them jumping on the bed and trying to escape before I capture them and madly tickle them (yes, my rendition baby prison, dad!)
2. Hearing them say “I love you, mom” every morning before they head off to school and getting a smooch on the cheek and a bear hug without any complaints from them.
1. Waking up with one or both of them in between Jon and me sleeping soundly and looking like tender fairy tale creatures that I want to stare at all day and night.

20140218-174426.jpg

Glad to have you back kiddos!

the days are long but the years are short

My babies are gone. Far away in a distant land where they will skip around with fairies and hold hands with superheroes. 

Mama Meg and Peepaw took them to Disneyworld for a long weekend.

Here they are prior to their 6:50 pm flight:

Image

When they gave them the trip as a Christmas present, Maria jumped up with joy and gave them huge hugs.  Mario looked at me and pleaded for me and Jon to go with him. For weeks afterward, he told us that he wanted to go but he really wanted us to go, too.  We kept explaining to him that Peepaw and Mama Meg would take good care of him and they would have so much fun riding rides and swimming in the pool.  He remained skeptical.  

Until about three weeks ago.  Ri was talking to Alana and Gio about going and they were telling her she was lucky.  Mario was listening to the conversation but refraining from joining in the mix.  They all proceeded to play a game together and the conversation moved onto other topics like who had the biggest sword and who made the best Minecraft home.  But that evening, Mario asked me how many days until Disneyworld.  I told him 14 or 15 and he laid his head on his hands and stared up at me in his bed.  

“Are you excited?” I asked him.

“Yea. Will you miss me?”

“Of course I will miss you but I will be so happy thinking about you having a great time.  I have never been to Disney and you get to go at age 6!”  

He smiled and reached out to hold my hand.

Since that evening, he has asked nearly every day “how many more days?”  And in the evening before bed, he has taken his black pen and marked an “X” on the day in order to count how many more days until February 14 – the day they would leave for Disney.  Ri did not any of that to get her going.  She knew how many days by just thinking about it in her head.  She had the flight all planned out.  No iPad was needed for her.  She would read her book in order to complete her 100 minutes of reading that she would be required to complete by the time she returned to school on Wednesday the 19th.  

This week, they woke up every day counting down the number of days remaining until they left.  Whenever they started to fight or get mad about something, I would say “come on, this is Disney week, cheer up!” And nearly every time, they would.  On Thursday night, Jon and I gave them each a Valentine’s Day card, a little beanie baby to clip on their suitcases, candy for the flight, and a $25 gift card to Disney.  Mario looked at the Disney card and got really excited.  “Is this a credit card? Can I buy anything I want?”  His eyes enlarged as he held the card tight against his chest.  We explained it only had $25 on it and that he could buy a lot of little things or one big thing (actually, one little thing at Disney is probably $25).  He looked dejected but still thanked us.

We packed clothes after the present opening.  Actually, I packed while they played in Mario’s bed.  They were way too excited to concentrate on one activity.  I bought them each some new shorts and t-shirts since they both have grown since last Summer (last Summer they fit in a lot of things from the Summer before, so nice…).  Then we read a book while laying in Ri’s room.  Jon came in for the second book and we all laid in Ri’s bed.  I love those moments.  

When Mario got up this morning, he walked into the bedroom and announced “It’s Disney World Day!”  They both got dressed and ate some breakfast and gathered up their Valentines to take to classmates.  I kissed them both goodbye and told them they were the best babies I could ever ask for in my life.  They told me they loved me and they closed the door to Jon’s Yukon.  I got a bit melancholy about them leaving.  I did my normal worrying: “will they get in an accident, will they get sick, will they get lost….”  It is really ridiculous how the mind churns out these non-productive thoughts without any provoking.  But I also felt like time was slipping through my fingers.  Maria walked out the door with her backpack on her back, her hood up, her boots zipped up to her knees all trendy looking. Mario followed her chatting about something that happened at lunch the day before.  They were both talking in complete sentences. When did that happen? Remember when Ri first said “mama” and Mario first said “dad?” They were both fully upright and walking.  And that happened when? Remember when I hoisted Mario on my hip everywhere I went or when I carried Ri in the backpack until age 4?  My doctor told me “the days are long but the years are short” and she hit it on the mark.  

I took off for a couple hours in the afternoon to hit the Valentine’s Day parties.  I got to Mario’s room at 1:50 thinking the party started at 1:30. It started at 2.  So I hung out with the other moms and waited for Mario to come in from the playground.  Kids began shuffling into the classroom at 2, looking up at their moms and waving hi.  Mario came in eventually and glanced up to take an inventory of the moms.  He caught me in the corner and his face exploded with joy.  He smiled wide and ran over to me with his arms extended.  He held my hand and led me to his table and I was his for the rest of the day.  They did all sorts of activities and ate lots of sugar.  And then he made me a Valentine’s card with invisible crayon.  When I wrote over it, it revealed the words “I love you.” Precious.  He allowed me to run down to Ri’s classroom and see her for a few minutes.  That third grade classroom was much more low key. Everyone was at their tables over their heads and they pushed them away giggling and blushing.  and making their Valentine bags.  They had fruit kebabs and heart-shaped jelly sandwiches.  But then I asked if I could get a picture of the girls in the classroom and that started chaos.  The boys tried to photobomb and the girls pushed them away. Boys put bunny ears 

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImage

After school, the kids went down Kindergarten Hill to find Mama Meg and Peepaw.  Hugs and kisses ensued and then a race to the car.  I went back to work for an hour and when I came home, Ri and Mario stopped me at the door.  

“Don’t come in the kitchen, mom! Dad has a surprise for you!” 

They held me in the hall for a minute and then led me in the kitchen.  There was our new kitchen table I bought from Amazon for $190 plus $110 shipping.  Jon had asked his friend Jason to come put it together while we were at work (what would he do without Jason?!”).  I screamed with excitement and the kids both smiled.  They love seeing Jon and I happy.  We gathered a few more last minute items to throw in their bags and the kids gave Rocco a ton of kisses.  They wrapped their arms around me and then Jon and told us they loved us.  I told them I loved them so so much and that I couldn’t wait to hear about their days.  We stood on the porch as they drove off to the airport waving and blowing kisses their way.

Then we walked in the house and sighed. Where was the chaos? The coats on the floor? The laughing? 

I took Rocco for a walk in the light snow.  I thought about how lucky I was to have all of these grandparents who give Ri and Mario such an array of experiences.  I thought about Ri and Mario and how daggone big they are getting and how much they are learning and absorbing about this world. And then a worry popped in my head. 

“What if my parents need a notarized permission slip to take the kids on the flight? They don’t have the same last name so security may not let them get on board. Then they would have to miss a day at Disney if they could even make another flight tomorrow….” 

And then I stopped. I stood on the sidewalk while Rocco ate some snow.  Stop it, I told myself.  Let it be.  It is going to be a lot harder when they are in high school and heading out on a Saturday night with friends.  They will be fine. They will have fun.  They will grow up.  Just make those years spread out as much as possible.

G for Grumpy

20140212-150111.jpg
I walked in the door this morning after hitting the gym and found this precious sight. Mario was reading his baggie book out loud while Ri listened. He struggled with the word “grumpy”. He saw the expression on the boy’s face in the book and took a stab at the word.
“He is ‘angry.”
Maria gently corrected him.
“Good try little buddy. It’s not ‘angry.’ It starts with a ‘g.’ Try it again.”
“Oh, grumpy!” Mario exclaimed. He must have recalled reading that word with his teacher earlier.
Maria praised him.
He completed the book and asked me to sign his paper. Maria spoke up.
“I already completed it, Mom. You just need to sign your name.”
I looked at the paper. It had the book’s title on it, the date, and then the words “Mario did amazing!” in the Comments section. I felt a burst of happiness at the entire sight, and knew my Wednesday would be wonderful.

20140212-151327.jpg

Olympic joy

We were all watching the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics on Friday night. Even Rocco. The ballet piece was fabulous and I commented how I wish I would have continued to practice ballet when I was young.

“Why?” Maria asked.

“Because I could have been a famous ballerina and you could have seen me perform all over the world.”

Maria turned around from her perch on my lap and sweetly said “then you wouldn’t be the mom you are today.”
Mario added “yea, we love you just the way you are.”

It was a marvelous way to end the night.

They both snuggled against me: Ri laid her head on my leg and Mario cozied against my chest and under my right arm.

The ballerina twirled. I kissed Mario’s head. I held Ri’s hand. Yes indeed. This is way better than being a ballerina.

20140209-215308.jpg

Surviving Winter

This Winter is absolutely killin’ me. I think they said we’ve had over 29 inches of snow and a ridiculous number of days at 15 degrees or below. I can’t stand not being able to get up in the morning and take a run. I actually drove to the gym this morning, which already irritates me because I can’t stand having to drive to a gym (when I got home and Ri saw that I drove she gasped “Mary Menkedick Ionno DROVE to the gym?!”). Once there, I can’t stand to run on a treadmill so I hit the weights. I will look like the Hulk by springtime.
At least the kiddos have gotten out here and there to play. It’s great having Rocco around because he’s always in a playful spirit. The kids immediately latch onto it and join right in with him.

20140207-140444.jpg

20140207-140453.jpg
Last weekend, Grandma Ionno came down to stay with us. Alana and Gio came over, too. It was a whoopin’ good time. We took the kids to Galaxy Games and Golf on Saturday afternoon. They climbed up and down the gym set for 45 minutes. I joined them for 20 minutes and was exhausted when I went to sit down. All of them were actually sweating when they came out. Love it.

20140207-140828.jpg
It wouldn’t be such a hit in the pocket if we left after the gym. But the kids are addicted to the video games, or moreover, the tickets generated from playing the video games. It floors me how a kid can spend over $20 to get 100 tickets and then have a choice of a plastic alien, a bag of sweet-tarts, or a balloon. But, I’m the idiot that keeps buying tokens….

20140207-141111.jpg

20140207-141121.jpg

20140207-141133.jpg

20140207-141148.jpg
It’s worth it to see the smiles on their faces. Patty hung right in there with me amidst the insanity of people running all over the place (kids and adults). She can hang really well. No wonder she can still take all four grand kids for days on end. She is the energizer bunny.

20140207-142722.jpg
After Galaxy, we headed home to chill for a while. The kids played the rest of the day and evening (they got a sleepover!). It is a beautiful thing to have a niece and nephew practically the same age as my kids. And to have them at an age where they get along well and get excited at the prospect of a sleepover is all the better. Weekend trips to hang with my aunts (who were only a couple years older than me) make me appreciate the importance of routine cousin get-togethers.
On Sunday morning, the kids begged to head to DK Diner for breakfast. Ri and Mario had been filling Alana’s and Gio’s heads with stories of their incredible, gargantuan donuts. We made it before the big rush and promptly segregated ourselves to a girl table and boy table. Mario had to sit at the bar where he and Jon sit every Saturday morning (and Ri when she goes). Mario interacts with a cook named Mario. The cook Mario hooks little Mario up with some serious scrambled eggs. Then Mario adds a big chocolate long john to the mix. Gio copied Mario’s order, and they both sat staring at SpongeBob on the tv.

20140207-180655.jpg
Meanwhile, us ladies sat at a table and talked about fractions and our favorite music and our crushes. Alana got a cinnamon roll the size of her head and Ri switched it up with a chocolate croissant. They both decided on Mickey Mouse pancakes and devoured them.

20140207-180937.jpg
I wish Patty and I could have taken a walk but the cold and snow kept us inside. The kids loved having us all together though (all the kids slept with Patty on the floor in the family room Saturday night). Alana and Gio had to leave us on Sunday evening to get ready for school but Patty stayed to watch the first half of the Super Bowl. We made chili and got chips and dip. The kids wrestled with me and jumped all around with glee in having Grandma around. Mario wanted us all to root for Denver but Grandma was adamant that she wanted Seattle. She must have had that grandma intuition…!

20140207-181537.jpg

20140207-181556.jpg

To pay attention…

Image

To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.

-Mary Oliver

A hawk schooled me today. There I was with my nose in a book walking across campus when not twenty feet to my right, a hawk blew past me with a large squirrel hanging from its talons. What an incredible sight. I looked around me and there was just one other person walking in front of me on his headphones. He was not phased by the creature. I stood motionless. My eyes moving with the hawk’s flight. It perched itself up in the barren tree content to hold its kill as it watched the kids pass by bundled up against the frigid winds. I braved pulling off my glove to get a picture; it was way too cold to zoom in or adjust. Just snap.

I walked back to my office with my book closed and lodged between papers in my backpack. I looked at the Cuzzins yogurt shop with the chairs flipped over on the tables. When did that place start closing at 2 pm? Maybe some day I will open an ice cream store like Ri and I used to talk about doing on Grandview Ave. when she was 4 years old. I watched as a young kid motioned his arms up and down to the beat of what must have been some good rappin’ on his iPod. I wondered if Mario would be engaging in these same moves when he’s a teenager or whether he’d be jamming out to his uncle Jack’s funk or maybe his own jams; will he learn piano or the drums or the sax, like Jackson? I stared too long at a guy who wore shorts and a t-shirt and casually strolled down High Street in the -4 degree weather as if it was mid-Summer. And I thought of Ri and her ability to go outside during these past couple of weeks with no hat or gloves and survive. She has Jon’s and my warm blood in her. After all, she stayed at the sledding hill a half hour after Mario left freezing and after I begged her to go (noticing it was 1 degree on my phone).

Oh, so this is what it is like to walk without a book in hand or a phone or a magazine or a law article. Oh… what a treat to observe things and people and moments, to imagine what life may have in store, to smile at a past memory with my kids.

Who needs snow to sled?

IMG_7550IMG_7552IMG_7559

Sledding in 2014 – Check!

The other day when it hit 50 degrees and I walked down the street watching the snow and ice melt into a muddy mess, a thought came to mind.  It was January and we had not gone sledding yet.  Maybe that wasn’t too strange since there are two more months of Winter but with all of the snow we have had in the last month and a half, I worry that there will be little to snow coming in the future (or there will be snow but it will be -15 degrees outside).

On Saturday night, we did a switch-a-roo with Patrick and Carrie. They took Mario and we took Alana for the night. When Mario came home Sunday morning, and trekked snow in the house, it hit me. “Let’s try to go sledding!” (it also hit me that he needs to learn to take his boots off, but that’s another post). There is only one decent sledding hill around us. It’s a small but steep hill at Wyman Woods. And it’s usually pure dirt if you get there after 10 am because everyone goes there.

It was 10:30. Was it worth a try?

A unanimous “Yes” from us all so we jumped in our snow suits and went for it. We parked a block away thinking there would be no parking. We drug the plastic sleds over the sidewalk and crossed the street. The kids ran towards the hill.

“It has some snow, mom! And there is no one here!” 

They were being generous but at that point, it could have been all dirt and we would have tried it. It’s at those moments that I appreciate my pops. If there’s one other person on this earth who would have plunged into that hill with all his might no matter the lack of snow, it’s my dad. He taught me to how to go with what ya got and make the most fun of it. So the hill barely has any snow left on it, deal with it…. So the hill has bumps all over it that could break your back, big deal…. So there isn’t any other sane folks out here sledding, more fun for us!  I could hear his voice like he was standing right next to me (after all, this is the man that hitched a plastic baby pool to the back of his four-wheeler and drug Ri all around when they got a snowfall at the farm).
So, when the kids turned to me waiting to see what I’d say about sledding, my response was a loud roar proclaiming: “Let’s do this!”

And “do this” we did. Ri went down first and I thought her head may pop off. With each bump she hit, you could see her bottom rise up and her head jerk.

But she has that Menkedick insanity in her and kept going back for more (including a ride down with me where I was convinced that my tailbone cracked). Mario loved it, too. He accidentally conquered an ice ramp that I am sure some nutty teen built.  I started him off a good twenty feet from it at the top of the hill but he swerved right towards it as he flew down the hill.  Ri and I looked at each other in fear and before we could blink, he hit it right on and flew into the air at least three feet.  He jettisoned back to the ground with a crash of plastic and rode out the rest of the ride until he landed 50 feet away from the ramp.  We waited and cringed waiting for a giant wail. But all we saw was a little guy rising from his plastic sled and walking towards us.

“Are you ok, darlin'” I yelled to him.

“That was awesome!  I can’t believe I hit it!”  

To be six years old.

I remember times at French Park with my dad.  I remember having a bit more fear in my heart when I sled down those park hills – they were ginormous to me (I wonder what they’d look like today?).  I remember laughing a lot and having a wonderful time.  And I remember my dad jumping on his sled and braving the hills with me.  I am glad I can do the same with my kiddos.

At the end of our adventure, after we were all banged up and our tailbones were aching, I looked over at my kids and quoted one of Mario’s favorite lines from Ghostbusters: “we came, we saw, we kicked its butt” (I had to be appropriate with my language – even though Mario corrected me and said “no, mom, it’s a–!”)!”

IMG_7564

IMG_7545

Pure Bliss

I experienced a joyful, hilarious moment last night. I was brushing my teeth and looked down to see no toilet paper. “Ugh, there’s no T.P. in here!” Maria was standing next to me brushing her teeth and started laughing hysterically at my predicament. I couldn’t help but chuckle with her; her laugh is contagious. While we were laughing, she tried to step into the bathtub to reach for the washcloth (trying to be funny and act like it’s T.P.) but she tripped herself up on the tub ledge and fell into the tub. Before I could be worried about her being hurt, she rose up with a giant smile on her face and a laughter so deep and hard that it wouldn’t even come out. I began laughing hysterically with her; the two of us gathering more steam by simply looking at one another.

I have experienced that type of raucous laughter with best girlfriends in the past (both drunk and sober) but never so with Ri. Sure, I have laughed with her, and laughed hard with her, but this was different. It was pure bliss. As I laid in bed with her trying to get her to sleep, she still giggled. All I could think of was how much I adored her as my daughter and how much fun she is to have in my life. She has a zest for life that will take her far, and I want to watch as long as I am able.

Image

Chipotle love

20140111-192839.jpg

These babes make me topple over with the love I have for them. I let Ri Grace have a whole burrito (black beans, cheese and sour cream) at Chipotle after she begged me the entire time we stood in line. When I ordered her one, she exclaimed “you are the best mom ever!” So worth a burrito!