This morning brought us:
We headed out of Cincy on Friday night with Cheez-Its, Diet Coke, and apples. We were set for our rush hour drive down I-71. Half-way through the trip, I found a kids size bag of M&M’s in my side pocket so all was good. The kids watched Tom & Jerry and Maria drew pictures as she glanced up at the tv. We burst into my mom’s house in record time; traffic was surprisingly light on the way down. After playing on the treadmill for a few minutes, and eating some Girl Scout cookies, we headed over to Julie’s to pick up Gracie for a park trip. Gracie is about the cutest little thing possible. I venture to say that she may even compare to my munchkins when they were her age. You must want to eat her up. She loves her “Aunt Mary” so I get big hugs and kisses when I come over.
Liz let Gracie come to the park with us while she picked up Laura and they got pizza for dinner. Liz warned me that Gracie would not want to ride int he stroller but I told Liz that Gracie had never seen the “Cadillac” of strollers before. Sure enough, when Gracie saw the BOB, she hopped right in it as comfortable as can be. Maria strolled Mario and Gracie nearly the entire way to the park (she loves playing mom). Maria took control of the climbing wall, as she always does. The girl may just be a professional climber one day. She has amazing upper body strength and she scales up the wall like she’s spidergirl. It is awesome to see. It’s funny how she likes these “untraditional” sports like rock climbing and frisbee while Mario enjoys the more “traditional” sports like baseball and basketball.
The kids tried to find frogs for me in the stream but had no luck. They did get plenty wet though. Maria likes to go off on her own and “think” as she puts it. I keep a distant eye on her but she does enjoy her space. Mario feels like he has to do the same so he announces that he is going off, too, but inevitably within two minutes he is calling for me to show me something. I like how they feel comfortable enough to go out on their own (just as long as they tell me first!).
After the park, Liz and Laura graced us with LaRosa’s pizza. The best pizza ever. We ate at Julie’s house, and Mario ate three pieces of pizza. I almost fainted. He has a little appetite lately. After dinner, the kids went downstairs (Julie’s basement is the play area for the kids and is heaven-sent). Liz and Laura and I got some alone time to talk, which was also heaven-sent. I love their love for family and their respect for who I am. The two of them are a lot more strict in the discipline area and tend to lean more conservative than me, but they have a respect for how I raise M&M, and we have a healthy dose of ribbing with one another on our parenting styles (Laura is like a second parent to my kids and Grace).
We all traveled over to my mom’s for a viewing of “Babies.” My girlfriend had recommended it to me and I was excited to think of watching a movie that wasn’t animated or geared towards four-year-old boys. The movie turned out to be a delight, especially with Liz and Laura’s quips here and there. It is about four babies growing up in different parts of the world – the San Fransisco, rural Mongolia, Tokyo, and Africa. It follows them pre-birth to age 1 or so. The movie does a great job showing the immense differences in the cultures. The only constant is the breast-feeding mother, and the cats. Each house had a cat that provided pleasure in one form or another to the babes. I found myself getting a tad annoyed at the San Fransisco mom. She did a lot of the activities that I did with M&M but putting her up against the other mothers made the things the SF mom did look ridiculous. In one scene, the SF mom was in a class with her baby where they were listening to African music and waving their hands back and forth overhead in a dance-like motion. The baby stands up and makes a bee-line for the door. “That’s right, get out little one,” quipped Laura, and we all laughed. After seeing the African women with their babies sitting in the dirt, with flies swarming around them, with smiles on their faces talking it up amongst each other, it was hard to take seriously the group of five white parents trying to sing African songs with their babies. However, I fully admit that it may be something that I would do with M&M to introduce them to other cultures’ songs. The kids were intrigued with the babies. They enjoyed certain scenes like the African baby eating mud and water from the ground, seeing the Mongolian baby taking a bath with a goat coming up from behind to drink his bath water, observing the Tokyo baby trying to put a toy together and getting upset each time she failed, and watching the American baby take a poop in her diaper (with all of those memorable “poop” faces). They also enjoyed Laura’s and Liz’s comments throughout the film. On the way home to Columbus, Maria and Mario made the same comments while watching the movie in the car. What influences those girls are!
After the movie, we hit the sack. The kids slept on the floor – Mario in a sleeping bag that he thought was awesomely cool and Maria in a regular blanket because she allows Mario to have what he wants. She was actually burning up for some reason so did not want to be stuffed into a sleeping bag. They slept until 7 am, which was a gift to me. By 7:45 am, we were in the stroller heading to Marx Bagels for our bagels and cream cheese. Heaven on earth. Pumpernickel combo toasted burnt with cream cheese. Maria has fallen for the strawberry bagel. Mario eats a small bite of the raisin bagel. After the bagel shop, we hit the pet store and found a floppy frisbee. I was charged after looking at three different places in Columbus. The kids have taken to frisbee but we lost our old floppy one and the plastic one I bought produces much pain when they fail to catch it and it strikes them. Mario wailed the last time we used the plastic one, and now he is gun-shy with the floppy one.
We headed to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in downtown Cincinnati at 11 am. I had been looking forward to the parade for the last few days. In all my years growing up in Cincy, I never hit the parade even though I lived in Clifton and worked downtown for years. Also, the kids had never seen downtown since we always stop at the Blue Ash line. I had big plans to go to Bicentennial Commons and the Riverfront but those were squashed after the long parade.
We partied on Fountain Square for a half hour before the parade, and then found a good
seat on Fifth Street (thanks to Laura pushing us along). The parade brought much excitement, especially when the participants threw candy at us. I scored a green cowboy hat, and Mario scored a fireman’s hat. Maria got mega compliments on her green hair. The kids loved the clown that was part of the parade. He walked out in the middle of the road and dropped his pants. They laughed so hard. We loved the Irish dancers and the bagpipes. But after an hour and half (and hardly any candy), the kids got restless and we took off. We were all exhausted. Laura had to do round two with her girlfriends, and I had to get us home to Columbus. So, it was definitely Energy Shot time and time to head home (only after we took a glance at our mom and mine’s old Clifton house and reminisced about our time living together).
When we got home, Laura surprised Maria with a rockin’ Big Time Rush home-made shirt. It is nothin’ but cool with BTR on the front and ruffles on the bottom. She looks too cute in it. She got it a little muddy later in the day and she freaked out crying that her shirt was dirty (she never does that with any other shirt)! Laura is a sewing machine and has started a blog, Finding Red Fern detailing her escapades. Laura also has stored an inordinate amount of facts in her brain. She has answers to anything – I mean anything. It always amazed me when I was with her the things that she would know. Maria has since picked up on this fact as Laura blurted out random facts during the Babies movie and then gave descriptions of things at the parade that only Laura would know. When we were driving home, Maria questioned me from the back seat: “Why does Laura know so much and my mom doesn’t?” Lovely.
We played frisbee outside of my mom’s condo in the parking lot. Then we played jump rope. My mom bought a jump rope for her exercise kick and the kids became interested. We twirled the rope as they tried to jump. Again, Maria did surprisingly well. Again,it is those random, non-traditional sports that she enjoys. Mario did alright, too, but again, he is much more proficient at picking up a ball and bat. We had to take the dogs for a walk before we left so we dropped by Julie’s to pick them up. Maria always takes Butters because he is heavier and pulls harder. Mario takes Willie because he is a piece of cake to walk and he allows Mario to do anything he wants. M&M love dogs, that is for sure. They are very gentle with them and always patient.
We finished up the day with a bath (and the duckies that the kids remember from times past) so they smelled fresh for the ride home (I almost passed out on the ride down to Cincy because Maria took off her shoes and her feet reeked!). We arrived home to beautiful skies (it had called for rain). We played outside the rest of the night. Maria and Mario built a rock wall for me in the front yard and brought blankets and pillows out in order to be able to lay down. I love that they engage in these activities. Anything outdoors makes me giddy. When it got dark, I laid with them on the blankets and we found stars in the dark blue sky. Not an easy task with the immense amount of clouds. It was idyllic for about 5 seconds and then Mario shot up and jumped on me and acted like a monkey. He could not sit still. We lasted another 10 minutes before we packed it up and moved it inside for nighties and a book.
As I unpacked our clothes (I pack as if I will be gone for a week for an overnight stay), I grinned. Then I smiled, Then I smiled wide. What a jam-packed St. Patrick’s Day full of new adventures and old ones. The kids built a rock garden. We ate bagels and cream cheese. Gracie warmed us up. We saw clowns and bagpipers. Butters and Willie let us walk them. We learned to jump rope. What a wondeful life we have.
I was supposed to go to dinner with a friend tonight (that fiasco is a long story not to be told tonight) so I had Maggie come over to babysit. She sent me this picture via text:
All I could hear was Jeff Foxworthy in my head saying “You may be a redneck if… you enjoy sitting in your bean bag on the sidewalk in front of your house.”
At least they were “reading” novels and not wrestling magazines (Mario’s favorite when we go to Kroger’s). However, I now understand why Jon always gets on me about making them play in the backyard!
Let the bikes roll out.
Let the shorts be worn.
Let the convertibles lose their tops.
It hit 70 degrees today, and life is good.
I could not wait to get off of work and pick up the kids. I retrieved Mario first since he begged me to do so this morning and he is on the way to Maria’s school. He has been discussing Superheros all week, and when I picked him up he had a red cardboard cylinder around his bicep. I asked him what he was wearing.
“It is my superhero power shield. We all got to pick a superhero name and I picked GoldStar. I have lightning that shoots out of my mouth and lasers that shoot out of my eyes.”
Awesome, dude. He says goodbye to his friends and we head to the car. On the way to Maria’s school, we talk about superheros. He loves to talk about Wonder Woman since I loved her so much as a kid. When we get to Maria’s school, he leads me to her classroom. The room is quiet with kids studying until Mario barges in and yells “Ria, mom picked me up first!” He always has to get one up on her and I am surprised she doesn’t just belt him some days. This morning she wanted me to take her to school so badly but Jon had to take her to get to work on time. She cried for me (she was having a “I need mommy” morning) as she walked downstairs. Mario stood at the top of the stairs and yelled to Maria “Mom is taking me to school – not you, Ria.” If she would have thrown her shoe at him, I could not have said much to her. He is a complete stinker.
We left Maria’s school with Maria on my iPad and Mario on my iPhone. We got home and I let them sit on the front steps playing with the electronics while I put things away. It is so refreshing to open the windows and feel the breeze run through the rooms. Fresh air, finally! We got the bikes out to time Mario’s dash up the street and back and to try to help Maria learn how to mount her bike without falling. We cooked sausages. Jon came home and Mario darted down the sidewalk to greet him.
We stood outside and watched the kids play. We admired our work from Sunday – the garden looks half way ready to go and the windows look good with their screens. Walking in the house and smelling the fresh outdoor air is a godsend. And hearing the kids playing outside on the back deck brings gratitude for the upcoming Spring.
Sunday morning began with a kiss on the cheek from Maria as I lay in bad trying to avoid the sun peeking through the blinds. It only got better from there with Mario jumping on me five minutes later and smothering me with kisses. Jon came up from downstairs and goofed around with me and the kids. We all laughed. Life is good.
So why do I still feel catch myself feeling cruddy? I assumed, somehow naively, that I would bounce back from my grandma’s death and be back to normal after the funeral. Grandma would have wanted that. But it’s not worked out that way. Rather, I am having really tough moments along with just feeling plain crummy at times. I guess this is my grief process; I just wish it would hurry on up! But that is typical me – always ready to move on and start the next thing. Maybe Grandma is trying to teach me a lesson even still – slow down, sweet grand-daughter.
And indeed, Sunday was wonderful day.” The kids and I took a stroller ride in the morning to Stauf’s. Maria still gets in the stroller like she is two years old but that is ok with me. The stroller is like other people’s cars. I don’t like to drive anywhere around the neighborhood so the stroller is our mode of transportation. And when we want to get somewhere fast, it is easier for me to load them up and run there then it is to pull the car out, buckle in, and find a parking spot. Jon surprised us at Stauf’s and we ate breakfast together. A simple act and very enjoyable on a Sunday morning.
After Stauf’s, we got haircuts and went to the park. It was beginning to get warm out by that time so we stayed at the park for a while climbing up the slides (yes, we do things backwards) and swinging. Maria and Mario love when I do the “underdog” swing where I hold onto the metal chains of the swing and run underneath it to give an even bigger push. They love it. Pure daredevils. Maria is finally getting the hang of using her feet to swing herself but still hates to have to do it.
After the park, we went to the second-hand bookstore to look for books. We found some that looked promising about a beaver and another about horses. Mario found some Dr. Seuss, and we read four of them before we headed out. I take every opportunity I get to read to him since he usually only wants to play on the computer.
When we got home, we began work in the yard. Maria tried to find a place to hang our chimes and I gathered up dead leaves and branches. Mario sat inside and played on the computer. He is a fanatic. He spends hours playing on the Wild Kratts website trying to win the cheetah game. It is ridiculous the perseverance he has to win that game. Maria laid on the deck while I cut the ornamental grass and talked to me about the flowers we should plant around the house. She also found some baby buds starting to bloom. I love times like those with my daughter.
We eventually got Mario away from the computer and outside. He kicked the soccer ball while Maria tried to perfect her cartwheels. My girl does not have natural athletic ability but she puts her heart and soul into it. Mario, on the other hand, has much natural athletic ability, but gets completely upset if he can’t master a move right away. Jon worked on putting in the screens to our windows. Jon’s parents arrived for the OSU game at 3, and Patty helped us drain all of the beer leftover from winter parties that had been sitting on the deck for months. She should be sainted. The house smelled like a brewery the rest of the day.
We watched some of the game in between windows and yard work. The Buckeyes lost. But we had Ray Ray’s to cheer us up. Nothin’ like some brisket and ribs to brighten up your day. We sat around the dining room table listening to Maria rat out Jon for comments he made about Maria’s friends. Little does Maria know that she is very much like her father and has his same sarcasm and wit. When Jon dishes it out, she dishes it right back. Patty and I laughed so hard at some of her retorts to Jon’s comments. The two of them could put on a show together. After dinner, we finished up the yard work, and called it a day. It was so nice to have Patty and Joe with us for the afternoon just hanging out and chatting and watching the kids. The kids love having their grandparents around them; Mario tries to usurp a lot of their time because he begs for them to watch his every move.
Mario and I took a walk after Patty and Joe left. On the walk back home, it grew darker but it was still pleasant outside (upper 60’s). We could hear the birds chirping and kids playing outside. I felt alive on the one hand but also still so sad about the loss of Grandma. I took a deep breath and exhaled and just let my emotions run through me. I guess there is nothing more to do but let it process… and remember all of the wonderful gifts around me.
“Mom, I am Catwoman and Mario is Batman and you are WOnder Woman. The Joker is following us and we need to escape.”
“Drive the jet faster, mom! We need to get away!”
And that’s how our morning started. I drove the Volvo jet down King Avenue in order to escape the Joker. Catwoman kept an eye out and fixed my lasso while Batman made all sorts of plans for our get-away. We didn’t watch any tv in the car. Beautiful. We arrived at the nursery having escaped all bad guys.
I promised the kids that they could each get a small plant to put in their rooms. I figured that such a gift was a lot healthier than a plastic toy. I had read numerous articles about the attributes of house plants recently and hoped that it would get Maria and Mario jump started on green thumbs (I need all the help I can get with my back yard). Mario spent the first fifteen minutes in the nursery frightening the fish in the pond by trying to reach in and grab their tails. I ignored him for a bit but when the nursery employee kept giving me the evil eye, I told him to stop. Maria played with the nursery kitty – a big ol’ plump tabby cat who let Maria carry her everywhere. I found some pots to re-plant my grandma’s flowers from her wake, and waited for Maria and Mario to pick out their plants. Mario chose a plain green one and Maria chose a green one with white polka dots. They got their pots (Maria, red and Mario, green) and we headed home. They took their plants out of the plastic container and re-planted them in their pots – so proud of doing it themselves. Maria built a little “home” for her plant with a balcony and a hot tub and a bed. Mario placed his on his chest. They do add some life to their rooms.
By the time we finished that adventure, it was starting to warm up outside. I enticed them to head to the woods with me by telling them we may find baby bunnies or eggs in a bird’s nest. Of course, we found no such things but by that time, they enjoyed just running through the woods and climbing rocks. I needed to be outdoors. I have felt stifled for the last week and a half with grandma’s sickness and eventual death. Even though I have gotten outdoors for runs with my sis or walks by myself, I have not been able to enjoy the sunshine and the songs of the birds. My brain constantly wafted into a separate world – blurry and lacking much emotion. I just got by for those days. To actually feel some emotion again and the warm sun on my face was refreshing. And Maria and Mario only added to the day by making me laugh again and again as we walked through the woods and played in the sand volleyball court and the swings.
After my grandma’s funeral earlier this week, a few people approached me to comment about what personality Maria and Mario exhibited. One commented at how they were both so spirited and happy; another commented on how outgoing and engaging they were; another at how confident they acted. It naturally made me proud as their mama but it also made me happy. And as we hiked up a hill full of sticks and mud, making jokes and laughing at one another, I remembered those comments, and felt such an intense moment of joy. These babes of ours are genuinely happy creatures, not scared to take risks and adventures, ready to question ideas they don’t understand, comfortable in their skin, able to laugh at themselves. They take our lives up a notch.
Jon met us at the park and we watched them brave a climb up a huge rock.
We didn’t say a peep. Just stood back and admired the view.
Watching Maria mouth the words of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream takes me back to my pre-pubescent years listening to Phil Collins and Air Supply on my 45s. Or better yet, waiting to hear the love songs on Casey Kasem’s Top 40 so I could tape them onto a cassette to play over and over on the weekend.
It is only in the last month that Maria has shown more of an interest in music. First, Big Time Rush; then Justin Bieber; now Katy Perry and Selena Gomez. She struggles to understand the words and produce a dance move while she sings but she certainly tries. And it is doggone cute to observe her attempt it. She does what I used to do a lot; sing a word that is not the actual word of the song. She belts out “I love you like the Love Sun Baby.” Meanwhile, her little brother stands in the background pretending to strum a guitar and mouth the words to the song – perfectly content not to have a clue what he is singing. He just enjoys moving his body.
I caught Maria the other day on my mom’s treadmill jamming it out to Ms. Gomez. I had allowed her to start the treadmill and keep it at a low-level. She had grabbed my mom’s CD player and headphones and inserted her Teenage Bop CD in it. I saw the teenage Maria at that moment as she belted out a word here or there while walking on the treadmill and dreamily staring out the window in front of her. I wish I could get into that brain of hers in those moments to listen to what she is thinking in that dreamy world of hers. I am quite sure it is not how much she loves her mama….
My mother-in-law forwarded an announcement about Big Time Rush coming to Nationwide Arena in July. I can’t wait to take her to her first concert – I still remember heading to Prince with my mom in Cincinnati. What a concert in which to begin my concert experience! I think Big Time Rush will be a tad bit more subdued than Prince….
My grandma died on Saturday. She passed. She left us. She moved on. However one wants to characterize it, she is gone. The woman who fed me pringles and coke as we watched the Love Boat. The woman who awed me with her confidence and devotion. The mother who raised my dad. The great-grandma who laughed with my kids as they jumped into her swimming pool. The friend who traveled all over the world. The faithful servant who took meticulous care of her employer’s accounts for 40 years. Gone.
I miss her.
I spent the last days with her. First at the hospital and then at hospice.
I held her hand at the hospital. All night. She let me know that I was a good grand-daughter and she loved me. I kissed her forehead. I shared my favorite memories with her. She smiled. We held hands in silence. And then she looked at the ceiling and whispered “thank you for everything … and now, goodnight.” She closed her eyes. Something out of a movie, I thought. She said her goodbye and will now go peacefully. It did not play out quite that way. She would fall asleep for a minute and then wake up seemingly irritated that she was still in the hospital room. She was ready to go.
The next day, she moved to hospice. My sis stayed with her the first two nights sleeping on the ground in her sleeping bag. My grandma surprised us and ate oatmeal and drank orange juice in the mornings. I stayed with her Friday night and she was clearly not doing as well as she had been doing in days’ past. I held her hand, nonetheless; she had no problem maintaining her grip around my palm as she slept. When my dad arrived in the morning, I was wiped out. Physically and emotionally. Jon and the kids came down Saturday late morning. Maria stood by her side and told her that she loved her. Mario stared at her and said goodbye. Jon sat in the corner thinking of past times with her. We left to take the kids to my aunt’s house. I got a call from my dad not long after our departure.
“She’s passed, Mary.”
“What? How?”
He explained to me that she simply fell asleep and did not wake up. No pomp and circumstance. No fireworks. That is how she was. She did not want anyone to fuss over her. She wanted her independence. She wanted to be the provider for her family. She wanted to reach into her dishwasher and retrieve cookies for her great-grandkids. She wanted to grab a bag of Cheetos from her popcorn tin and give them to me for the ride home. She wanted to have everyone over on Christmas for ham and potatoes. She wanted to love fully and completely.
I surprised myself with my lack of outward emotion at her wake and funeral. I assume I felt like I had to be fairly composed for the kids and the guests. I, after all, am her oldest grand-daughter. I did shed some tears during the mass as the soloist sang “Be Not Afraid”, a song I remember hearing when attending mass with Grandma. Maria and Mario both took their kleenex and wiped under my eyes and my nose. Maria rubbed my back while Mario explained to me that “Grandma was really old” and “you knew she may die, mom. It’s ok. Everyone dies, mom.”
My babies.
Jon wrapped his arm around me after Communion. My sis gave me a huge kiss during Peace. Jon’s mom hugged me tight before Mass. My dad patted my back and told me he loved me as we stared at Grandma’s casket. Meg made sure I was hanging in. Jack smiled at me as we listened to the priest. Meg’s sisters embraced me at the cemetery. My girlfriends smiled at me as I walked up the church aisle. Love floated everywhere those two days. Grandma would have liked that.
Last Tuesday spun by like a wooden top. Jon worked on the house all day with Jason while also trying to take calls for work. I sat on a dozen conference calls and cranked out emails in an attempt to avoid having my colleague overwhelmed while I was out. When I got home, we madly packed our clothes realizing that shorts didn’t have buttons (and of course neither of us can sew) and dresses were torn. Too bad we didn’t look earlier. Oh well, we realized we’d be in our bathing suits most of the time. I packed the kids’ clothes and boots for Grandma Meg’s and Peepaw’s house, and tried to gather some games and toys that both the kids and the grandparents would enjoy. We put the kids to bed at 9 pm, and as I left Maria’s room, I heard her sniffling. When I went back to give her a hug, a full-out bawling session occurred. She begged us not to leave for Cancun. It was awful. We did not expect that type of reaction from her. I rubbed her back and laid with her until her eyes shut. I walked out of her room softly hoping not to wake Mario. When I peered in Mario’s room to ensure he was asleep, I was taken aback when I saw him sitting straight up in his bed wide-eyed staring out at me.
“What’s the matter, pumpkin?”
“I don’t want you to leave me.”
Jon walked in the room and both of us let out a collective sigh. This unexpected emotion from the kids took us both by surprise and we stood there holding Mario between us and rubbing his back. They actually do love us…. We let Mario lay with us and we are sure that we were both out before he fell asleep. When we woke at 4:30 am, Maria got up, too. She cried again for us to stay and it was only when Maggie laid with Maria in our bed that she calmed down. What a way to leave!
We arrived in Cancun at noon to a beaming sun and breaking waves. Heaven. This is our third trip to Cancun – Jon’s company sponsors the trip. We stay in the same hotel each year, and play in the same part of the ocean. We eat at a lot of the same restaurants, and hang out with the same group of friends. As much as that may seem monotonous, it is actually very soothing. We have no concerns about how the hotel will be, whether the beach will be nice, how the food will taste. We know it is always close to perfect. The first couple of years I felt a little overwhelmed with Jon’s friends and their wives. A lot of them know each other well from going to Cancun every year or because they live in the same city. I am a lone goose. But this year, I let go of any concern about not fitting in and just enjoyed myself. And it was the best trip we had in the three years. Jon and I ate incredible food, played like kids in the ocean, snorkeled, drove a speed boat (Jon felt like Crockett in Miami Vice!), sat together on the balcony listening to the waves, and talked uninterrupted! I loved diving in the ocean for sea shells; Jon would stand on the beach with the water hitting his legs waiting for me to bring shells to him. It was a precious gesture on his part. We laughed hard at Jon’s friends’ antics. They are all hilarious in their own right. Phil is from the UK and has a quirky little accent. He is so cool that he could afford to wear white beach shoes and still look good. Dave is from Michigan and he is your down-to-earth, good-natured guy who always has a funny story to tell about his kids or his wife or their adventures. Joe is a slick, suave Michigan guy who is always considerate and making sure that people are having a good time. Their wives definitely make them the men that they are – they are the backbones of their families. Strong, funny, and intelligent, they always welcome me into their group and make me feel at home. Those are the three guys and their wives that we hang out with the most in Cancun but there are others who provide us with much entertainment, also. It’s a good group and the camaraderie and brotherhood amongst the male colleagues is enviable – I wish I had as much fun with my work colleagues as these guys have together.
The resort
I got a killer head and foot massage on our last day at the beach. It was the “Organic Massage” and consisted of a scalp massage, hot towels, face massage, foot massage and hand massage. It ended with a back massage and hot towels on your back and legs. I thought I had died and entered heaven. She poured citrus oils on my hair and spread them on my skin during the massage. I smelled like a lemon when I left. Jon went jet skiing while I got my massage. He didn’t realize that there were 10 foot waves to conquer out in the ocean. He was a hurting puppy when he came back to shore.
We flew home on Sunday and rested for an hour before we headed out East to pick up the kids from Meg and dad. They had a great time on the farm, as always. They rode the horses and played outside. Maria reported to us that Peepaw cut down two trees and “almost killed himself!” She loved telling the story. Mario reported that he almost fell off their horse, Taz but Peepaw caught him. Maria is learning how to ride Taz better and even steered him herself. She wants to take horseback riding lessons so badly, which I have been struggling with since I know nothing about horses. Jon loves the idea because he loves horses.
M&M with their Mexican flutes
I always dreamt that my daughter would play soccer and softball and all of the other sports I loved to play as a girl. I have slowly gotten over my preoccupation with what I think Maria should be and realize I need to let her be who she wants to be. So, horse riding lessons are in her future (of course she picks the most expensive hobby!). When they rode up to meet us, Maria and Mario had huge smiles on their faces. They jumped out of the car and gave us gigantic hugs for minutes long. It was an awesome few minutes. The ride home was just as awesome with them describing their week to us and listening to us about our adventures in Cancun. The evening continued to be great with wrestling and airplane and reading books. We fell asleep with smiles on our faces.
Then Monday morning arrived. Back to the grind. Running around the house trying to get dressed and packed and papers filled out for school. But I took a deep breath as I loaded Maria’s lunchbox in her book bag. I stepped back from the table and stared at M&M and Jon in the hallway putting on their coats. Can I love them anymore? One thing that getting away does for me is reinforce how lucky I am to have such a warm husband and adoring kids. Even if we are at each other’s throats at 8 am on Monday morning.
I had not seen Maria since Friday morning when I dropped her off for school with the exception of a few minutes on Saturday afternoon between her return from a friend’s house and her departure to her cousin’s house. I pulled into the driveway at 5:30 pm and she ran down the driveway yelling “MOM!” What a marvelous feeling.
I loaded her and Mario in the car to head to Wendy’s Gymnastics. She asked me if she could run in the house and get a snack. I told her I would head in with her (knowing that her snack may be a four course meal). Indeed, she was ready to rip into another cereal bar (after eating one a half hour ago with the sitter). I told her that she could have an apple or grapes rather than the cereal bar since we would be eating dinner right after the gym. She looked at me in disgust and walked away. I asked her if she wanted fruit, and she shut the door behind her. Lovely. When I opened my car door, I got the following pleasantry thrown my way:
“I can’t wait until you are away in Cancun. You can’t leave soon enough.”
Even lovelier. I gave her a sad face that I know she saw through my rear view mirror but it stirred no response. When we got to Wendy’s, she opened her door, stepped out of the car, and marched into the gym alone. Mario looked at me as I picked her up out of his seat and observed “She seems mad at you.” He is a smart cookie. He gave me his sweet Mario hug to make up for Maria’s quick departure.
Once inside, she continued to ignore me. I had a pack of Tic Tacs and I offered her a few. She accepted and whispered “thanks, mommy.” I didn’t press the issue any more. I want her to feel that she can assert herself with me – without retribution or revenge on my part. I am not going to give her grief for saying she wanted me in another country – she needs to be able to get her feelings out (although there are times that it takes me biting my lip to near bruising to avoid saying something to her I will regret (and sometimes I say it anyway and slip up; I am human after all)). I will draw the line if she cusses me out or behaves like a crazy woman but other than that, I am going to let her process her feelings.
About a third of the way through gymnastics class, she waved me down and motioned for me to watch her jump off the balance beam. I did. And I gave her a thumbs up and a standing ovation. She smiled at me.
All is good.
"MOM!" 