Tag: Appreciation

Sunday Run

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Maria hammin' it up

It was 10 am Sunday and we had played barbies, read books, ate cereal, and played “boathouse” when I decided to take a run.  NPR’s “Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me” is on at 10 am on Sundays and I look forward to a 45 minute run while listening to that show.  Unfortunately, my children wanted nothing of the sort.  They both completely broke down when they saw me changing into my running gear.  

“No, mommy, please don’t run.  Please take us, mommy.”  

Mario enjoying his "horsey"

 

Maria chimed in “You told us no running today, mom.” 

To her credit, she is correct.  I usually say that on Saturday morning when I get up for my Saturday morning workout – “don’t worry, guys, I will not go tomorrow.”  Typically, it works out that I don’t go on Sundays but this was one Sunday that I could get out.  

Within 45 seconds, both of them had huge, heartbreaking tears running down their faces and were clinging to me as if it was my last day with them on Earth.  Jon kept pushing me to go and I wanted to so badly but…  I just couldn’t.  Call me weak, call me a sucker, call me a push-over.  I am probably all of them.  But, I could not leave them.  

So, they asked for it.  They got bundled up, I threw them in the stroller, and we were off.  When we first took off, I was hesitant to go too far because I had not run with them in the stroller for a while and my left IT band is killing me.  But, next thing I know, we are on the bike trail, playing the ABC game and looking at birds chirping up in still bare trees.  We strolled up to Route 33, which I thought would make them yell “That is enough mom” (it is about 2 miles from home) but instead they wanted more so we kept trekking.  We landed at Bicentennial Park with the statues that we used to visit when I worked downtown and they went to school downtown.  

Mario's serious pose

 

Maria remembered all of the statues, she remembered the “Dora Boat” (Santa Maria boat)’ she remembered going on the boat with her dad and me years ago and seeing different zoo animals they were displaying at the same time.  Her memory is amazing, but then again I guess she is only four (almost five!) and does not have nearly as much crud sitting in there as I do!  We played around, climbed on the statues, talked about which animal we would be if we had a choice, met a police officer passing by, and watched the geese and ducks in the river.  Finally, it was time to head back and I just kept praying that my right leg would hold up and that M&M would not pitch a fit half way back screaming that they were hungry or wanted to walk or needed water.  

To my surprise, we all made it.  We were about two blocks away when a clap of lightning stuck and little rain droplets starting falling on our heads.  

“Hurry Mom, we have to get home!  The rain is coming! Go faster!” 

We made it to the porch without getting soaked.  I got a round of “high-fives” when I get M&M out of the stroller and we headed into the house ready for lunch and a long, rainy-day nap.

I love you to my heart

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There are these transitory moments in my life when I feel an overwhelming surge of hope and love and joy and gratification.  They are beautiful, marvelous, even staggering moments that propel me forward and recharge my batteries when they start to drain from all the routine events of living. 

Sweet Mario

The other morning Jon was getting the kids out the door to head to daycare.  Mario typically wants me to walk him out and put him in his car seat but that morning I was not dressed to head outside and I was saying my goodbyes to Mario in the living room.  I reinforced how much fun daycare was, how Ms. Leslie and Ms. Amanda would take care of him, and how mom would take him on a bike ride when he got home. 

“Have a great day, ok buddy?” 

“Ok, mommy. I want to tell you something, mommy.”

“What is it Mario bo Bario?”

 “I love you to my heart, mommy.”

There it was – my few seconds of absolute bliss standing in front of my two-year old son hearing words of pure love directed at me.  Ahh, they hung in the air.  I snatched them up and gulped them down.  He proceeded to tell me “I am getting to be a big boy, mom.”  My heart ached with affection.  I scooped him up and gave him a bear of a hug, feeling his big boy breath against my ear, and appreciating his tender sweet baby self. 

My sleepy baby boy

      

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Sweet Mario

Top Ten Things I love about my Mario…

10. Your persistence.  When you want something, you will engage in any antics to get it.  Unfortunately, your father and I and even your sister continue to give in to you every time you engage in these antics, be it crying hysterically; yelling madly; throwing your body down onto the floor in mad rage; or begging mercilessly.  I have told you “No more books” at night and then left the room reading five more.  You are good.

9.  Your compact little body. You hop around like a frog; climb up beds and chairs like a spider monkey; dart in and out of rooms like a harried mouse; and twists and turn like a wild snake.  You amaze me with your flexibility; neither your dad, Maria nor I can call flexibility our strong suit.  

8. The way your strong, sinewy legs wrap around my left hip when I reach down with one arm to pick you up just like a baby monkey with his mama.  You remind me of one of those tiny furry animals with a magnetic clip that you pinch and its arms and legs open up and attached to your shirt.  I always wanted one of those….

7. The way you say “thank you mommy” whenever I retrieve your binky for you, get you a glass of milk at bedtime, grab a toy that you cannot find.  You state it with such genuineness and kindness, which makes it even more ingratiating.  

6. Your unadulterated and pure excitement in being naked!  Whether it is running around Maria’s room after a bath, banging your fists in the air and yelling “Arggghhh” and “Naked” with a wicked smile on your face or taking your pants off upstairs while guests are over and slowly coming down the stairs to surprise us with your antic.

Fiesty Mario

5. Your response to me everyday I picked you up from daycare up until two weeks ago.  It was one of two: (a) “I cried mommy” to which I would respond by asking “how much, Mario?” and you replied “just a little” while you held up your thumb and forefinger close together or (b) “No cry, mommy!” with a look of pride.  Two weeks ago, you stopped crying at drop-off.  It is such an amazing and heart-calming change.  Now, as long as I give you lots of kisses, sit with you for a few minutes while you get your breakfast, and make a big ordeal about leaving “Bye, Mario, I will see you in a while, I love you so much, bye Mario and Mario’s friends, love you Mario, bye teachers, see you later….”  then you are fine.

4. How you love animals and nature.  You will stare at the trees until you spot a bird nest around town; you search for the kitty in the crafts and flower store every time we pass; you plead to pet every dog that passes us on the street; you consistently question Peepaw and MamaMeg about the blue birds and horses at their farm; you smell the flowers in the neighbor’s yard when we take our walks responding “Mommy, they smell so good”; and you pat and hug on Cy all the time calling him down the steps in the morning and directing him to sit so that you can give him a treat.

3. Your love for Stauf’s coffee shoppe. Not even being sick with a fever and aches can keep you from wanting to walk

Mario at Stauf's with his bran muffin

 up to Stauf’s for a muffin or bagel with cream cheese.  You people watch and talk to anyone nearby and smile in sweet content at me as you bite into that big heaping muffin or lick all of the cream cheese out of the container.

2. Your affinity for the outdoors. You want to be outside for as long as possible, often throwing a mad fit if we require you to come indoors.  You pick up sticks, dig in the dirt, play basketball, look for Cy’s poop (an activity that both you and your sister enjoy for some strange reason!), find big rocks, ride your bike.  You have a career in the Sierra Club, kid.

1. Your energy! You made it longer than Maria on New Year’s Eve, still dancing around when the ball dropped!  Sometimes I check your back to make sure there is no wind-up mechanism keeping you going.  You don’t sit still for more than a few minutes even when a good show is on the television.  You have to adjust in your seat, stand up and walk around, run in the kitchen to scare me.  Sorry, buddy, you undoubtedly have my ADD, and there is no doubt you are my son. 

I do have to add one more thing and that is your morning greetings.  When dad brings you into me while I lay in bad, you greet me with such enthusiasm and joy singing “Mommy!” and wrapping your arms around my torso.  What a perfect way to start the day.  I love you, little man.

Mario and momma

From Ecstatic to Miserable in less than 5 seconds

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I decided to take Maria out to lunch this afternoon.  She has been begging me to pick her up from school and take her out to lunch since allegedly all of her other friends at school have parents that pick them up for lunch all the time (yes, I found out when I picked her up tonight that rarely anyone gets picked up just for lunch – she is already working me!).  I walked into her room, and unfortunately, she had just finished lunch.  I had not promised her I would be able to get her and I had not told her teachers I Iwas coming because they usually eat at 12:30 and I had picked her up at noon. 

Of course, this was the only day that they decided to eat early.  Maria did not share in my distress about her already eating – when I asked her if we should do it another day, she looked at me strangely and stated “Mom, I can eat again, silly!” 

Jon joined us on our way out the school door, and we went to Bob Evans.  We sat at the counter where Maria and Jon sit when they have their father-daughter dinners.  Maria beamed.  We decided to split  pancakes.  When the waitress asked Maria is she wanted bacon or sausage with her pancakes, she responded “Both.”  God love her.  Then we asked her if she was happy to come out with Jon and I and she exclaimed “Yes, I get another lunch!” 

After lunch, I took her in the stroller to the pet store and Target.  She sported a smile the entire way over to the stores letting me know what a great day it was for her.  We said hello to all of the turtles, snakes, rats, ferrets, cats, and dogs and then made our way to Target.  

“Mom, can I get a toy since I have been good this week?”  (Earlier in the week I had got her a toy because she had to endure four shots in one outing as part of her physical for kindergarten).  I explained to her, as I always have to do, that we do not automatically get toys every time we go to Target.  She blew me off and headed to the toy section.  She looked at barbies and baby dolls, sporadically calling out “I want this one, mom” but then moving on to a new thing within two seconds.  I told her I would get her something small (Yes, I have to learn to say “no” to anything – I am a work in progress).   I knew there was nothing she truly “wanted” or “needed” so I tried to reason with her to hold off on a toy until next time so we could get something bigger and better.  Yeah, right. 

We turned the corner to look in the doll section and there it was….  The Leapster.  The beautiful, glowing Leapter that she has been wanting for a few weeks now, especially because her cousin has one and she got a taste of it last weekend when her cousin brought it over with her.  She looked at me with those pleading, droopy eyes and puckered lips and begged “Please mommy, please.”  I responded with an understanding look and gave her hope by telling her that dad and I were thinking about getting her a Leapster for her birthday. 

“I want one now, mom.”

“Maria, that is a lot of money.  You may get one for your birthday.”

“No, mom, it will be gone by then.  I need it now.” 

“No Maria.”

WIth that second affirmation of “no”, she stomped down the aisle huffing “ugh!” the entire way.  I tried to console her but she would have nothing of it. 

“Get away from me mom.” 

I knew I should have let it go, after all she is four and a half years old – what behavior do I expect?  Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but feel sad and disappointed by her behavior. Here she had been treated to an afternoon out of school, a yummy lunch, a trip to the pet store and now she was acting like I was an evil witch.  How is that fair?  And now what do we do?  Leave to head back to school mad and grumpy?  I was so irritated me that I had taken off two hours from work and she was going to end our time being angry and grumpy.  

I immediately fast forwarded time to her teenage years knowing that this was a harbinger of what was to come.  Indeed, I remember how I was with my folks at that age.  So, I am going to have to learn that this is part of having a kid – you do all you can for them, you give them your entire being at times, and they still treat you as if you have failed to do anything for them since the day they were born.  Shake it off and don’t take it personally.  Impossible but necessary.

We ended up finding an ice cream game that I thought would be fun for her and Mario to play.  She calmed down and we had an enjoyable walk back to school even spotting a hedgehog at the bank of the river.  We gave our good-bye kisses after reading a book and I was off back to work.  I convinced myself on the way to work that I needed to be strong and not try to be Maria’s best friend.  I needed to teach her that she did not “need” toys all the time, that she had to learn that everything was not at her fingertips, and that she needed to have an appreciation for all she had in life.  In doing so, it was inevitable that she snipped at me, got mad at me, told me things I did not want to hear.  I will just call my mom and stepmom during those times and have them remind me how horrible I was back in the day! 

When I came back to the daycare later that afternoon, Maria was happy and running around with her friends.  Mario was also in a pleasant mood (Fridays are great).  His teacher grabbed me as soon as I went outside to get him.  “You have to see this!”  She asked Mario to come over and she engaged in the following dialogue with him:

“Hey Mario”

“What?” he responds.

“Hey Mario”

“What?” he repeats.

“Shake you booty.”

“No way!” He shouts.

“Shake your botty!” 

“Ok!” he shouts and jumps up shaking his booty and dancing around.  

It was hilarious, and I was so bummed that my video would not work on my phone.  He is such a lively, crazy little thing.  He comes up with the most hilarious sayings and engages in the silliest antics.  Our little jokester.  But, I am quite sure he will be pouting in Target someday soon, and I will feel that same sadness I felt with Maria today.  But today built up some resistance, and I have a sneaking susupicion that I will have plenty of times to build up even more resistance in the near future.

The power of appreciation

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I have not gotten to the gym all week.  Jon left town on Monday and returns on Friday.  I hate these weeks for numerous reasons: first, because my hubby is gone; second, because these kids know they can get away with murder with their mama; and third, because I am unable to start my day with a run or with gym time, which can make me very grumpy.  It does not help that I am compulsive about everything so if I don’t work out, then I eat really bad food.  If I workout, I eat really good food.  So, Twix bars and M&Ms have been my diet all week, which makes me even grumpier! 

Actually, I have not been too grumpy this week because I have had such a great time with Maria and Mario.  I have let them stay up late every night (it will be a rude awakening when Dad comes home on Friday!).  We have hit the library, Jeni’s, Wendy’s, and tonight, the indoor swimming pool!  I picked M&M up early and we headed straight to the pool (I had run to Target on my lunch hour and bought swimming suits for both of them since Maria outgrew her suit (when both butt cheecks are falling out you gotta hang it up!)) and Mario had pooped in his a few nights back and I had yet to wash it – lovely).  They were so excited, especially Maria who has been begging to hit the pool for months.   Maria also loved her new bathing suit, which relieved me because I decided against the Princess suit this year and went for a suit full of colorful Peace symbols. 

We arrived to an empty pool, which is a beautiful sight.  No one to bump into us or splash us (all of us are such loners!).  Maria is doing so well with going under water and even went under water while “swimming” to me tonight (scraping her arms along the bottom of the pool with her head submerged – but hey, it is something!).  I make her feel proud with my boasting but I am simply so happy to see her liking the water.  Mario just splashes around, throws his ball, goes down the little slide, and hangs out.  He will not submerge his head, yet.  But I gotta believe that with his crazy self the time will soon come.

We left around 7:00, and we were all starving.  Yes, another Wendy’s night.  Although, Maria chose a baked potato over french fries tonight, which is a positive change (does it matter that she loaded it up with two packets of sour cream!).  As we sat there savoring the salty french fries dipped in ketchup, Maria chimed in with a bit of appreciation that completely took me off guard. 

“Mom, I have two things to thank you for tonight.  Thank you for picking me up early. And thank you for taking us to the pool.”

My little appreciative soul

Just like that my day transformed.   I got more sincere appreciation from my four and a half-year old daughter than I have at work for two years.  

After our dinner, I bought them kid sized Frostys (and myself an adult sized one with M&Ms (they are daggone good!)).  Maria got whipped cream and chocolate sauce on hers.  I looked over at her on her stool with chocolate syrup on her upper lip and Frosty cup in hand.  Her head turned in another direction and looking around the restaurant in a whimsical way, she whispered “What a great ending to the day.”  You hit it on the head, girlie. 

She brings me back to what is true and real to me – my time with family, yummy food, and letting go.  Thanks, Ms. Ria.  I love you!  And, Mario, thanks for keeping us laughing all night with your madness! I love you, too!