Courage – "MOM!"

Maria is at a new stage in her life where she gets excited about school festivals because “her friends will be there.”

We had our community annual Ox Roast on Thursday, Friday and Saturday this weekend. On Thursday, she begged me to take her and her friend to the Roast. I had just suffered an atrociously long day at work but I remembered being her age and looking so forward to these festivals to play and hang out with friends. So I agreed.

There weren’t too many other sucker parents down there! But the girls had a blast after spending $25 on “all you can ride” wristbands for them. I drew the line at the $5 games where you try to shoot in a hole or toss a bag in bucket because we rarely win and when we do, the prize is cherished for three minutes and then tossed.

Maria loved rock climbing – she got to the top easily (even in flats!).

She went on the swings because her friend begged her. Unfortunately, she is inflicted with her mom’s intolerance for circular motion at high speed. She looked green after that ride. So we chilled it out with the calm slide and more rock climbing.

When Ri’s stomach was still little queasy, we went real low key with the baby bathtub ride. I didn’t think Ri would ever still go on this ride but she surprised me (her stomach probably begged her). It took me back to when she was a toddler.

I finally dragged them out of there at 8:45 and we grabbed some nutritious fair food on the way.

On Friday morning, Mario found out that Ri had gone to the festival. He cried and cried about not going. So, I promised to take him Friday night. Yeah, I’m a sucker. Ri and Mario and I got on our bikes and headed down to the Roast after I got home from work. I knew that we’d be back on Saturday so I put my foot down on wristbands. I allowed them to ride on two rides each and then they scored a free ride on the slide because of a change in shifts. Mario found the cotten candy booth and they engorged themselves on extra big sticks of goo.

On Saturday, Maria had a party for one of her classmates at 2:00. I thought that she may be tired after that party and want to chill. Yeah right. We came home and her and Mario begged for more Ox Roast. I thought maybe there would be a prize for hitting it three nights in a row but the only prize was spending a boat load of cash on rides and bounceys, and food. Not really, the prize was letting the kids have these experiences, watching them laugh, letting them boost their courage (Mario went down the slide without me for once!), and teaching them that life is what you make it. When I wouldn’t let them play the $5 games, they whined for a minute but then I told them about everything else that was there and they quickly let it go and ran to the swings to play.

I was spent on Saturday night when we got home at 9:30 but it was a good kind of spent like when you run a fast race or work for hours in the yard. Documentation of the fun:

Maria jumped off the high dive this afternoon. No floaties on her arms. No cajoling by her friends or lifeguards. Just pure desire and courage. She has always enjoyed the water but never had much of an interest in swimming or jumping. Her idea of swimming is laying your body in the water, head pointed to the sky, eyes closed, and chillin’. Recently, that idea has been flipped on its head. Maria has warped into a water monster. She loves to jump off the edge of the pool and swim to me. About two weeks ago, she tried out the low dive. I had to wait at the edge of the pool in order to help her swim over after she jumped but she did it. This week, while with our sitter, Megan, she went off the low dive and swam all by herself to the edge. It is like we are watching a caterpillar blossom into a butterfly. Then, today, she dove off the high dive! Tomorrow, I am worried she will be driving.

I was so ecstatic about Maria’s diving feat that I called Jon in Baltimore to tell him. He experienced the same awe that I had earlier. A few minutes into the conversation he lightly mentioned that “Maria is just like the daughter in that article you love.” His connection both impressed me (oh, he does listen to me!) and left me speechless. We hung up and I googled Anna Quindlen’s “I\’ll Never Stop Saying Maria. I read this when I was pregnant with Maria Grace. At the time, Jon and I had not decided on a girl’s name . We had Sophia and Grace in mind but neither of them made us too excited. After I read this article, Maria entered into the mix. The article described a love one mother had for her courageous, authentic daughter who dove off the diving board at age 3 and barreled off a cliff into the Caribbean at age 5. I remember telling Jon how much that line itself and the article in general struck me as I was getting ready to have a daughter. Anna Quindlen summed up the conflicting emotions of having a daughter well – trepidation along side hope and joy for the future (both hers and your own).

As I re-read the article, sentences brought tears to my eyes.

“If I were pressed for one word to describe my only daughter, it would be courageous.”

“She’s an authentic human being in a way I was not at 16, less good girl, more real person.”

“She makes me believe in evolution.”

“Being her mother is like playing basketball with a crack player (and she is that); she raises the level of the game of life by just showing up.”

These short quotes do no justice to the endearing article – a mother of a daughter just needs to read it herself. It moves you. It is an amazing sensation to experience your daughter getting older and taking chances, branching out, weighing risks and benefits. Our influence on her is transparent but she is forming her own little will and beliefs and it is both wrenching at times and absolutely exhilarating.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Courage

Three Days of Ox

Anna Quindlen comes to life