Tag: Free to Be You and Me

Summertime fun

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The kids went to Mama Meg’s and Peepaw’s house last week. I took them out to the farm on Saturday. We brought a movie for them to watch but my video player didn’t work. Maria sighed and whispered “this is why you need a new car.” She’s been watching ads for cars during the Today show and knows the safest ones and least safest ones. Volvo was not the safest anymore, she reported. I turned off the video after my tenth try to get it working and pronounced happily “this means we can talk!” Both Ri and Mario sighed. But we ended up having a great time. We listened to the entire Free to Be You and Me CD. When “It’s alright to Cry” came on, I explained to Mario that sometimes people make fun of boys who cry and he should always feel alright to cry when he was sad. Ri chimed in “don’t you want to give the same advice to me?!” She prides herself on being like her dad and never crying. Mario requested a little Uncle Jack music after Free to Be You and Me. We jammed to some Innocent and Simple Words. Then we moved onto Ohio trivia. I know more today about presidents from Ohio and Ohio historical milestones than I ever did in the past. Ri grilled me.
The farm was wonderful as always. I took a short hike with Sarah to get an update on how she was feeling. I was just waiting for that belly to pop!
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After a yummy chicken and salad meal and some good laughs about 80’s and 90’s music with Meg and Sarah and Emily, I left to head home to Jon for a night together sans kids. Ri and Mario headed out with Peepaw to fish.
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They didn’t catch anything but they did swim at the beach until 8 pm. They are lucky they have some energetic grandparents. The next night they slept in the barn all by themselves. Mario was scared and kept trying to convince Ri that they should rethink the barn. “There are spiders in the barn, Ri.” She would not be scared. They took Rosie to sleep with them and they had a huge flashlight. I can’t believe they did it.
On Sunday, Meg and Jon drove back and forth to Zanesville twice to make sure that Ri got to partake in 30 minutes of softball pictures with our Reds team. I’m glad though because I wanted her in the picture.

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Meanwhile, Peepaw and Mario fished on the banks of the river. Mario called to tell me he caught 13 fish and they were all bigger than Peepaw’s catches (of course). He also excitedly relayed how he and Peepaw found these big rocks to fish from and how they cast their lines and waited and when one bit, how they pulled and pulled to reel it in to them. Mario will have some good memories and some well-honed skills as he gets older. Ri sat around the cabin chatting with Sarah as she cooked dinner just like another 30 year old in the room. And they christened the new corn hole game that dad and Jorge built and painted. Ri and Meg kicked some butt against the boys, I hear.
The kids returned on Tuesday in time to go to Music on the Lawn at the library. Ri thinks she’s “too old” for it but she was happy to take Luka and play the mom role.

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She also let me slip in some selfies with her.

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How long will that last?
Mario found a few boys from his class and went to town on the wrestling front. Ridiculous – wrestling with shoes off and eventually shirts off looking like little rugrats.

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And when they were worn out and sore from beating each other up, they relaxed in front of Henry’s mom’s phone to take turns playing Goat Rampage. Boys.

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The music ended and we headed home to see Jon, who brought me home a steak and scalloped potatoes from Hyde Park where he took a colleague out to dinner. It sure beat the bag of Cheetos I chowed down on at the library (the kids drank root beer floats and donuts – yes, we are the poster children for healthy eating…)!

Gloria would be proud

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Sleeping over at Maggie's!

I picked up Maria and Mario from Cousin Maggie’s apartment at 9:00 am.  Maggie had offered a sleep-over for them last night and they jumped with joy at the prospect.  A night filled with pizza, play-doh, fire in a real fireplace, muffin-baking and movies.  She had them asleep at 9:45 pm, too (I swear, my cousins Laura and her need to write a book!).  When I picked them up, they interrogated me about whether St. Nick had come to the house last night.  When I grew up, I always remember St. Nick coming on December 6 (which I believe is truly St. Nick’s Day).  I typically got candy and maybe some small toy but I just remember the thrill of feeling something in my stocking when I came down the stairs in the morning.  I have kept that tradition up with M&M but instead of doing it on December 6, I do it on the weekend so we aren’t rushed with school. 

When the kids and I home, they ran straight to their stockings.  They plunged their little hands in the stockings and big smiles emerged (in addition to other little things, Maria got earmuffs she had been wanting and Mario got a transformer).  We all sat in the living room together, which we rarely do because the family room has the recliner chairs, the tv, the Wii.  But it was so nice to be in the living room with the natural light that can’t help but perk you up. 

After the kids reviewed all of their presents, Maria looked at me.  Earlier on the ride home, I had told the kids how excited I used to get for St. Nick.  Maria had asked if he brought me anything.  I told her that usually St. Nick just brings kids toys.  After she looked at me for a minute, she got up and rushed out of the room.  I knew what she was doing – trying to gather some “gifts” for me.  She has got such a kind soul.  She came back five minutes later with a bag full of my things – shoes, old barbie, clock.  “Here, mom, St. Nick brought you some things, too!”  Mario caught on how impressed I was with Maria’s thoughtfulness, and immediately ran out of the room.  He ran back ten seconds later with a frog ornament and presented it to me saying “Here mom, this is from St. Nick, too!”  I told him how happy I was to have him and Maria and he responded “did I give you a better gift than Maria?”  He always wants to be number 1 – he is going to be brutal on the court or field. 

We played around , cleaned up, and at 2:00 pm, left for the Pump-It-Up gym for a birthday party.  On the way to the party, the kids asked to watch Power Rangers. I put it on for them and I heard them in the back talking about the different Rangers.  Mario told Maria that she could be the blue power ranger and she agreed.  I blurted out from the front “there is a blue power ranger who is a girl?”  Maria immediately hit the back of my seat and scolded me. 

“Mom, you make it sound like a girl can’t wear blue.  You make it sound like a boy can only wear blue and a girl can only wear pink.  That should not be how it is.”

Yeah, I could have just eaten her up.  All of those years that I sang “Free to Be, You and Me” to her rubbed off.  She would make Gloria Steinem proud.  Earlier that day, I had tried to move our bed.  After realizing it was way too heavy, I stopped.  Maria approached me and shook her head.  “Girls never give up, mom. You can do it.”  

Maria sliding

Pump-It-Up was chaotic and tiring.  I can’t stand to just sit around like the other parents so I go through all of the exercises with the kids.  After 45 minutes, Maria and I were spent.  Maria kept asking when we would go to the other room and eat.  Mario just wanted to keep playing.  When we finally got to the room, Maria immediately sat down in front of a piece of pizza and cheese curls and went to town (I was jealous and wanted to sit right by her!).  Mario only wanted water.  These two could not be more different when it comes to food.  Maria is my healthy, ready to devour, eater.  Mario is my grazer, a bite here or there eater.  During the entire meal, Mario wanted the plastic crown and scepter that the two birthday kids got and he was going to every length to get them.  I had to keep telling him not to try to steal them but he kept trying to sneak ways to do it. I told Maria that we would have to leave.  She had a meltdown because we had not eaten the cake yet.  I guess along with teaching her how to be self-sufficient and not stereotypical, she also learned my love for sheet cake.  I could not bear the thought of disappointing her and not letting her eat cake.  So we stayed and I policed Mario a bit longer. 

Mario stopping!

On the way home, Mario reviewed his goodie bag.  He pulled out sunglasses and complained that they “weren’t cool.”  Maria schooled him:

“Mario, life is not about finding happiness in things.  If you have family and friends around you, that is all that matters to be happy.” 

And that sums up the beauty in our girl, Maria.  Mario is catching on, too, because instead of throwing the glasses at her like he may have a six months ago, he shook his head and acknowledged Maria’s insight. 

“You are right, Maria.  I will like them.” 

Beautiful.

Swimmin’ in Cincinnati

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The family takes a trip to Cincy while dad is out of town

I decided late in the day on Thursday that I was going to head to Cincy with the kids to spend the night with my mom and visit my grandma.  We were supposed to pick her up on Friday afternoon for a Friday evening bridal shower for my little sis but her world turned inside out with immigration lines, visas, broken down cars.  There was no way she was making it back to Cincy by Friday night from El Paso Texas.  So, I felt like I should get down there anyway to see grandma as she is 90 years old and thoroughly enjoys seeing me and her great-grandchildren (she is a sucker for punishment!).  Besides, Jon got to head to Baltimore for a Baltimore Ravens football game (down on the field before the game and box seats during it – the bum!) so I needed family to sop up my jealous tears!

When we arrived on Thursday night, we headed straight for mom’s pool.  Mom brought some cheese its and apple juice boxes in order to avoid the wrath of Mario (last time Grandma Lolo came to visit Mario asked “did you bring cheese its and juice boxes?” Mom answered no, and he looked very distraught “But, but why?”).  Maria loves the “neighborhood” pool so much more than the big Blue Ash community pool.  She likes to keep it tight and close rather than deal with everyone and their mother.  She swam and jumped around.  Mario sat on the first step of the pool and dipped his head in every five minutes or so.  He played with his noodle (blowing in one end and seeing the water squirt out the other end).  He ate his cheese-its.  

Maria and her noodle

We played hard at the pool for an hour or so and then ravaged some spaghetti, bread and m&ms when we got home.  We decided to head to Aunt Julie’s for some dessert and much to our surprise, for a kitten/possum adventure.  Julie and Ron put out food for stray kittens and a stray baby possum every night.  The critters arrived once dark hit like clockwork – first the kittens and then the possum.  The kids sat at the door watching them for 20 minutes.  When we left to go back to my mom’s house, Mario’s eyes were like hawk eyes watching out for that baby possum.  

We all ended up sleeping in my mom’s full size bed.  I tried to move one of the two of them to the floor but neither of them would have it.  Needless to say, I had cramps and twitches throughout my entire body when I woke on Friday morning from trying to twist my body into a needle to avoid hitting one of them.  In order to stretch my body out, we took a morning stroller ride to Marx Hot Bagels.  I used to go to this bagel store when I was a kid with my mom and dad.  The poignant smell of bagels never leaves you.  I walked in with M&M and immediately felt like I had been blasted back to age 10.  We ordered a sunflower, pumpernickel/onion and a wheat raisin bagel with a mountain of cream cheese and went to town.  Yum!  I could eat one of those every morning.  

We hit Grandma Lolo’s park on the way home and M&M got up on the amphitheatre stage to perform for me.  Mario sang “I like to Move it, Move it” and took a bow.  Maria sang one of her love songs, which went something like this “I wish we could be together but you are not for me.”  I kid you not! Her songs are all about lost love and boys not being good enough for her.  At age 5!  Ahhh! 

As soon as we got home, we headed back out to visit Grandma M.  Ahh, it is always so stress-free and calm 

Mario writing with Grandma M.

 when we head to her assisted living facility.  Ha.  The chaos ensues from the beginning with Maria and Mario having to show off for the residents, sign their name on the visitor sheet, punch the elevator buttons.  That is all in the 1o minutes before we hit grandma’s apartment.  Once we are in the apartment, it is a more enclosed space and ten times more chaotic because the kids can’t touch half of the things she has in the apartment even though they are within kids’ reach and they are so tempting to touch (kittens, dolls, statues, glass – I mean come on!!!).  

How is it that I always played with the same toys over and over again every time I visited grandma, and seemed to enjoy my time but these kids cannot play with a game for five minutes without wanting something different?  Could it be the parents are to blame?  Probably, just a little…  hehehe.  What can I say?  My biggest goal in parenting when Maria was born was to give her the freedom to do what she wanted and learn from her actions.  I did not want to stifle her.  But I see now that there is a limit; they are going to be seeing that limit a lot more from me!    

 

Maria in her grandma "get-up"!

However, they have gotten better at grandma’s through the multitude of times we have gone over to see her.  They played in her bedroom writing with her pencils and punching her calculator.  Maria put on her sweater and a bag on her head and acted like her.  Grandma stays very calm through it all – she only gets worried when they get near her pills.  I think that may be a valid concern.  

She took us down to her pool, which is perfect for the kids.  It is 3 feet high in most places.  Mario plays on the steps and Maria floats around the pool.  Maria got brave and even dove off the edge by herself.  She reminded me of Anna Quindlen’s little girl, Maria, who is my Maria’s namesake.  Quindlen wrote a Newsweek article about her daughter at age 16 – so intrepid and filled with adventure.  That was my girl yesterday – embracing something new and a little scary.  After an hour swim, we headed back to the room for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, vanilla wafers, butter cookies, and hershey kisses.  Who could ask for a better feast?!  

Mario loving the pool

We took grandma to Kroger’s to get her weekly stash of food (it is a 45 minute ordeal for about six food items but at age 90, I am still impressed), and then we headed to Blue Ash pool for some more swimming.  Mario LOVES Blue Ash pool with all of the fountains and slide and cushion bottom.  Maria, as I stated earlier, would rather stay in the confines of her own neighborhood but she agreed to come if there was pizza and popcorn at the pool.  After an hour and a half, I thought I may pass out from exhaustion so we packed up and traveled back to Grandma Lolo’s to pack up.  A bath, treadmill walk, popsicle, and golf game later, we were in the car waving goodbye to grandma and grandpa and accelerating the Volvo north to Columbus.  

We ended the trip with songs from Free to Be You and Me.  Maria has fallen in love with the CD much to my pleasure.  She loves the song about friends and the talking babies.  When the song “Parents are People” comes on, she yells “Mom, this is for you!”  

I was so exhausted when we walked in the door at 6:30 Friday night.  I could barely drag myself upstairs to lay down.   Luckily, Mario stayed asleep during the transfer from the car to the crib.  A little blessing from above.  Of course, he was up at 1 am standing next to my bed crying “Mommy, I sleep with you.”  The rest of the night I might as well have been doing laundry, cleaning the house, finishing up work, because he kept me wide awake between complaining that his leg hurt or he needed water or he wanted to watch tv.  At about 2:45 am, I thought I might jump out the window just to be able to sleep in the bushes below – broken legs/arms and all – it would be better than sleep deprivation.  But, we survived as always and were up and playing airplane on the bed at 7 am.  

Ahh, did I really ever sleep in until 8 am?