Burning up

We are now into the second week of above 90 degree temperatures, and I am seriously contemplating a move to Alaska. I am tired of walking outside and immediately dripping in sweat. And heaven help me if I need to walk a few blocks – I look like I just emerged from a swimming pool. I arrived at a meeting three blocks away from my office last week and blotted sweat from my face for a half hour before I found some relief. The worst part is that I start to get cold when I walk into air conditioning because of the cold air mixing with the massive amounts of water on my skin. So, I look even more attractive with sweat pouring off me and goosebumps covering me.

The kids are over it, too. Maria wants nothing to do with the outside unless it involves lots of shade or water. Mario can hang a little better than any of us but he’s even given up lately. So, when I took off a half day on Friday afternoon, the question was what to do in 100 degree heat?  We decided to pick up our cousin, Alana for an afternoon play date. We hit the store for a slip-n-slide first. But when we came home and set it up, it had a huge tear in it. Never fails. So we set off for the pool where I wrestled with all three of them for an hour (when will the day come when I can just chill with a book and they play by themselves?! But then I will miss them…). 

We hit Wendy’s for dinner – I sat by myself as directed by Maria.  She likes to sit with Alana by herself.  I made her take Mario, too, which she begrudgingly did but then tried to boss him around the entire time.  He just flirts with Alana the entire time asking her to give him a kiss and telling her he will marry her.  He is a little Casanova  even with his cousin.  After dinner, I needed an evening stroll to wake up after all the french fries we devoured.  We decided to walk to a few blocks to a shady park.  Maria rode her bike, I strolled Mario and Alana walked with me.  As much as I hate the heat, I hate even worse to be in a car. Our park trip got cut short because of an urgent text message from Alana’s dad that she needed to get home. The kids started to walk with me (we had to leave Maria’s bike because her legs hurt – my girl) but they all soon became tired and I ended up strollering Maria and Mario and putting Alana on my back. Nope, not kidding. I looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame pushing a double-wide stroller.

I know when winter rolls around I am going to wish it was warmer and forget all about these sweltering abysmal days. That’s how the mind works – it’s why I am able to think about having another baby without drugs. But for now, I will continue to wish for icicles and mittens and sled-rides.

One Big Sweat Gland

I am really disliking this heat.  I can’t stand that I walk outside for two minutes and my armpits look like someone poured a glass of water on them.  I can only live in black and white shirts in the summer because I sweat so badly that any other shirt is noticeably drenched. 

My doctor tells me that I sweat so heavily because my body is so efficient in releasing sweat from all the work outs I do.  It almost makes me want to stop working out.  Jon calls me his “one big sweat gland.”  How endearing.  Maria and Mario both back away into the corner when I approach them after being outside and yell “get away, you are too sweaty!” 

I have tried the anti-sweat super deodorants but they don’t do a thing.  My super-sweat overpowers every time.  I guess it could be worse – I could….  Nah, it’s pretty bad.  I hate being frozen every time I walk up to the coffee shop because I have sweated so much that the AC feels like ice crystals on my body. 

All of this leads up to my sweat experience this afternoon. Jon’s niece, Sherri brought her kids over today while she and her hubby went to a charity golf outing.  We decided to go to the pool.  Of course, a normal human being would have loaded the kids in the car and headed to the pool.  But, alas, I have never been normal (thanks dad and mom and Meg).  Maria wanted to ride her bike.  Emi wanted to ride mine.  Eli wanted to ride mine, too, but she is not quite tall enough.  Mario wanted to ride his since Jon fixed the seat and he can actually move pretty quickly.  So, we packed up all the towels and goggles into the stroller and set off with Eli walking with me and the rest of the crew biking. 

Surprisingly, Mario biked the entire way and Eli walked with me the entire way. The soccer camp she went to last week got her in shape (she even ran with me when Mario got too far ahead).  Emi and Maria biked ahead of us – it’s nice having Emi with Maria because she makes her stop at each side street and look both ways – good influence!). 

We stayed at the pool for an hour or so but Mario got tired and cold so we decided to head back sooner than we had planned.  Mario, because he was tired and cold, did not want to ride his bike.  Eli did not want to walk.  Thank god Maria and Emi still wanted to ride their bikes.  So, I put Mario on one side of the double stroller and Eli on the other and threw Mario’s bike over the two of them.  How the stroller tires did not burst, I will never know.  We walked a half mile, which included a hill near the end of our walk that took me ten minutes to climb.  When we reached the house, I looked like I had just jumped into the pool.  Drenched in sweat.  Eli and Emi were speechless; Maria scolded me to take a shower; and Mario told me I needed to stop sweating.  Oh, the love.  Jon just looked at me like I was insane in the membrane. 

“Why didn’t you drive?” he asked as I walked in the house.  Now that would be a way too normal thing to do, and he knew that before even asking me.  His term of “one big sweat gland” for me actually is endearing – he secretly loves it, I know.  Or, I guess it is more accurate to say he secretly endures it because there is no other choice.  My body is efficient, that’s all I gotta say.