Woman’s Best Friend

February 17, 2014February 17, 2014Leave a comment

This bundle of love was my running/walking partner all weekend. The kids have been loving life in Disneyworld between buffet meals, 70 degree weather, animated character greetings, and cool rides. Meanwhile, Rocco and I have been working it out in all this snow. We went for a total of 26 miles together over Saturday and Sunday – a marathon!
I realized how much I absorb when I run with the pup versus when I run alone. With the pup, I have no iPod. I am forced to concentrate on the trees, birds, clouds, yards. I think about writing that letter to my sis I’ve been wanting to write. I consider taking those hip-hop classes I always wanted to try. I smile at the fat robin trying to get her grip on the tiny branch bending to hold her. I am grateful for my folks and the lessons they have taught me. I appreciate all that I have been given and respectful of how fleeting it all is….

And then Rocco finds a stick and I get jerked to the right as he stops dead cold in the snow to chew away at it.

I prod him along and he eventually rips off a small piece of the stick to chew as we carry on. He loves to run ahead of me and I don’t mind it because he makes me keep a pace. However, my dog trainer and hubby continue to razz me about making him heel. What I really enjoy is taking him to the woods by our house. It is about a quarter to half mile loop. I can typically let Rocco off his leash because the only other visitors have dogs who run off-leash as well. I have been training Rocco to heel when I first let him off leash or when we are approaching the bridge and I can’t see who may be up ahead. He’s doing better each day with it. But I love when I finally say “OK” to him and he is able to run free. He runs with such force – like a stallion – and he seems overjoyed with his ears flapping.

And then he stops when he no longer sees me and waits for me to catch up. Such a gentleman. Then he lifts up his leg and pees on new territory. Such a gentleman. I love having a pup back in my life.
Ri and Mario have grown attached to him. Mario loves to wrestle with him and try to grab toys from his mouth. The last thing our trainer would recommend but it’s sweet to watch a boy and his dog play so hard (plus, Mario and Rocco get worn out, which is a blessing). Ri just loves to cuddle with him which is fairly hard to do because he is a bit of a loner when he decides to rest. But he has warmed up to Ri and often gives her kisses our of the blue.
I hope this little bundle of fur is able to see the kids off to college. I certainly don’t think we’ll have any trouble keeping him in shape after our runs this weekend.

the days are long but the years are short

February 14, 2014Leave a comment

My babies are gone. Far away in a distant land where they will skip around with fairies and hold hands with superheroes.

Mama Meg and Peepaw took them to Disneyworld for a long weekend.

Here they are prior to their 6:50 pm flight:

When they gave them the trip as a Christmas present, Maria jumped up with joy and gave them huge hugs. Mario looked at me and pleaded for me and Jon to go with him. For weeks afterward, he told us that he wanted to go but he really wanted us to go, too. We kept explaining to him that Peepaw and Mama Meg would take good care of him and they would have so much fun riding rides and swimming in the pool. He remained skeptical.

Until about three weeks ago. Ri was talking to Alana and Gio about going and they were telling her she was lucky. Mario was listening to the conversation but refraining from joining in the mix. They all proceeded to play a game together and the conversation moved onto other topics like who had the biggest sword and who made the best Minecraft home. But that evening, Mario asked me how many days until Disneyworld. I told him 14 or 15 and he laid his head on his hands and stared up at me in his bed.

“Are you excited?” I asked him.

“Yea. Will you miss me?”

“Of course I will miss you but I will be so happy thinking about you having a great time. I have never been to Disney and you get to go at age 6!”

He smiled and reached out to hold my hand.

Since that evening, he has asked nearly every day “how many more days?” And in the evening before bed, he has taken his black pen and marked an “X” on the day in order to count how many more days until February 14 – the day they would leave for Disney. Ri did not any of that to get her going. She knew how many days by just thinking about it in her head. She had the flight all planned out. No iPad was needed for her. She would read her book in order to complete her 100 minutes of reading that she would be required to complete by the time she returned to school on Wednesday the 19th.

This week, they woke up every day counting down the number of days remaining until they left. Whenever they started to fight or get mad about something, I would say “come on, this is Disney week, cheer up!” And nearly every time, they would. On Thursday night, Jon and I gave them each a Valentine’s Day card, a little beanie baby to clip on their suitcases, candy for the flight, and a $25 gift card to Disney. Mario looked at the Disney card and got really excited. “Is this a credit card? Can I buy anything I want?” His eyes enlarged as he held the card tight against his chest. We explained it only had $25 on it and that he could buy a lot of little things or one big thing (actually, one little thing at Disney is probably $25). He looked dejected but still thanked us.

We packed clothes after the present opening. Actually, I packed while they played in Mario’s bed. They were way too excited to concentrate on one activity. I bought them each some new shorts and t-shirts since they both have grown since last Summer (last Summer they fit in a lot of things from the Summer before, so nice…). Then we read a book while laying in Ri’s room. Jon came in for the second book and we all laid in Ri’s bed. I love those moments.

When Mario got up this morning, he walked into the bedroom and announced “It’s Disney World Day!” They both got dressed and ate some breakfast and gathered up their Valentines to take to classmates. I kissed them both goodbye and told them they were the best babies I could ever ask for in my life. They told me they loved me and they closed the door to Jon’s Yukon. I got a bit melancholy about them leaving. I did my normal worrying: “will they get in an accident, will they get sick, will they get lost….” It is really ridiculous how the mind churns out these non-productive thoughts without any provoking. But I also felt like time was slipping through my fingers. Maria walked out the door with her backpack on her back, her hood up, her boots zipped up to her knees all trendy looking. Mario followed her chatting about something that happened at lunch the day before. They were both talking in complete sentences. When did that happen? Remember when Ri first said “mama” and Mario first said “dad?” They were both fully upright and walking. And that happened when? Remember when I hoisted Mario on my hip everywhere I went or when I carried Ri in the backpack until age 4? My doctor told me “the days are long but the years are short” and she hit it on the mark.

I took off for a couple hours in the afternoon to hit the Valentine’s Day parties. I got to Mario’s room at 1:50 thinking the party started at 1:30. It started at 2. So I hung out with the other moms and waited for Mario to come in from the playground. Kids began shuffling into the classroom at 2, looking up at their moms and waving hi. Mario came in eventually and glanced up to take an inventory of the moms. He caught me in the corner and his face exploded with joy. He smiled wide and ran over to me with his arms extended. He held my hand and led me to his table and I was his for the rest of the day. They did all sorts of activities and ate lots of sugar. And then he made me a Valentine’s card with invisible crayon. When I wrote over it, it revealed the words “I love you.” Precious. He allowed me to run down to Ri’s classroom and see her for a few minutes. That third grade classroom was much more low key. Everyone was at their tables over their heads and they pushed them away giggling and blushing. and making their Valentine bags. They had fruit kebabs and heart-shaped jelly sandwiches. But then I asked if I could get a picture of the girls in the classroom and that started chaos. The boys tried to photobomb and the girls pushed them away. Boys put bunny ears

After school, the kids went down Kindergarten Hill to find Mama Meg and Peepaw. Hugs and kisses ensued and then a race to the car. I went back to work for an hour and when I came home, Ri and Mario stopped me at the door.

“Don’t come in the kitchen, mom! Dad has a surprise for you!”

They held me in the hall for a minute and then led me in the kitchen. There was our new kitchen table I bought from Amazon for $190 plus $110 shipping. Jon had asked his friend Jason to come put it together while we were at work (what would he do without Jason?!”). I screamed with excitement and the kids both smiled. They love seeing Jon and I happy. We gathered a few more last minute items to throw in their bags and the kids gave Rocco a ton of kisses. They wrapped their arms around me and then Jon and told us they loved us. I told them I loved them so so much and that I couldn’t wait to hear about their days. We stood on the porch as they drove off to the airport waving and blowing kisses their way.

Then we walked in the house and sighed. Where was the chaos? The coats on the floor? The laughing?

I took Rocco for a walk in the light snow. I thought about how lucky I was to have all of these grandparents who give Ri and Mario such an array of experiences. I thought about Ri and Mario and how daggone big they are getting and how much they are learning and absorbing about this world. And then a worry popped in my head.

“What if my parents need a notarized permission slip to take the kids on the flight? They don’t have the same last name so security may not let them get on board. Then they would have to miss a day at Disney if they could even make another flight tomorrow….”

And then I stopped. I stood on the sidewalk while Rocco ate some snow. Stop it, I told myself. Let it be. It is going to be a lot harder when they are in high school and heading out on a Saturday night with friends. They will be fine. They will have fun. They will grow up. Just make those years spread out as much as possible.

G for Grumpy

February 12, 2014February 12, 2014Leave a comment

I walked in the door this morning after hitting the gym and found this precious sight. Mario was reading his baggie book out loud while Ri listened. He struggled with the word “grumpy”. He saw the expression on the boy’s face in the book and took a stab at the word.
“He is ‘angry.”
Maria gently corrected him.
“Good try little buddy. It’s not ‘angry.’ It starts with a ‘g.’ Try it again.”
“Oh, grumpy!” Mario exclaimed. He must have recalled reading that word with his teacher earlier.
Maria praised him.
He completed the book and asked me to sign his paper. Maria spoke up.
“I already completed it, Mom. You just need to sign your name.”
I looked at the paper. It had the book’s title on it, the date, and then the words “Mario did amazing!” in the Comments section. I felt a burst of happiness at the entire sight, and knew my Wednesday would be wonderful.

Olympic joy

February 9, 2014February 9, 2014Leave a comment

We were all watching the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics on Friday night. Even Rocco. The ballet piece was fabulous and I commented how I wish I would have continued to practice ballet when I was young.

“Why?” Maria asked.

“Because I could have been a famous ballerina and you could have seen me perform all over the world.”

Maria turned around from her perch on my lap and sweetly said “then you wouldn’t be the mom you are today.”
Mario added “yea, we love you just the way you are.”

It was a marvelous way to end the night.

They both snuggled against me: Ri laid her head on my leg and Mario cozied against my chest and under my right arm.

The ballerina twirled. I kissed Mario’s head. I held Ri’s hand. Yes indeed. This is way better than being a ballerina.

Surviving Winter

February 7, 2014Leave a comment

This Winter is absolutely killin’ me. I think they said we’ve had over 29 inches of snow and a ridiculous number of days at 15 degrees or below. I can’t stand not being able to get up in the morning and take a run. I actually drove to the gym this morning, which already irritates me because I can’t stand having to drive to a gym (when I got home and Ri saw that I drove she gasped “Mary Menkedick Ionno DROVE to the gym?!”). Once there, I can’t stand to run on a treadmill so I hit the weights. I will look like the Hulk by springtime.
At least the kiddos have gotten out here and there to play. It’s great having Rocco around because he’s always in a playful spirit. The kids immediately latch onto it and join right in with him.

Last weekend, Grandma Ionno came down to stay with us. Alana and Gio came over, too. It was a whoopin’ good time. We took the kids to Galaxy Games and Golf on Saturday afternoon. They climbed up and down the gym set for 45 minutes. I joined them for 20 minutes and was exhausted when I went to sit down. All of them were actually sweating when they came out. Love it.

It wouldn’t be such a hit in the pocket if we left after the gym. But the kids are addicted to the video games, or moreover, the tickets generated from playing the video games. It floors me how a kid can spend over $20 to get 100 tickets and then have a choice of a plastic alien, a bag of sweet-tarts, or a balloon. But, I’m the idiot that keeps buying tokens….

It’s worth it to see the smiles on their faces. Patty hung right in there with me amidst the insanity of people running all over the place (kids and adults). She can hang really well. No wonder she can still take all four grand kids for days on end. She is the energizer bunny.

After Galaxy, we headed home to chill for a while. The kids played the rest of the day and evening (they got a sleepover!). It is a beautiful thing to have a niece and nephew practically the same age as my kids. And to have them at an age where they get along well and get excited at the prospect of a sleepover is all the better. Weekend trips to hang with my aunts (who were only a couple years older than me) make me appreciate the importance of routine cousin get-togethers.
On Sunday morning, the kids begged to head to DK Diner for breakfast. Ri and Mario had been filling Alana’s and Gio’s heads with stories of their incredible, gargantuan donuts. We made it before the big rush and promptly segregated ourselves to a girl table and boy table. Mario had to sit at the bar where he and Jon sit every Saturday morning (and Ri when she goes). Mario interacts with a cook named Mario. The cook Mario hooks little Mario up with some serious scrambled eggs. Then Mario adds a big chocolate long john to the mix. Gio copied Mario’s order, and they both sat staring at SpongeBob on the tv.

Meanwhile, us ladies sat at a table and talked about fractions and our favorite music and our crushes. Alana got a cinnamon roll the size of her head and Ri switched it up with a chocolate croissant. They both decided on Mickey Mouse pancakes and devoured them.

I wish Patty and I could have taken a walk but the cold and snow kept us inside. The kids loved having us all together though (all the kids slept with Patty on the floor in the family room Saturday night). Alana and Gio had to leave us on Sunday evening to get ready for school but Patty stayed to watch the first half of the Super Bowl. We made chili and got chips and dip. The kids wrestled with me and jumped all around with glee in having Grandma around. Mario wanted us all to root for Denver but Grandma was adamant that she wanted Seattle. She must have had that grandma intuition…!

To pay attention…

January 27, 2014January 27, 2014Leave a comment

To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work.

-Mary Oliver

A hawk schooled me today. There I was with my nose in a book walking across campus when not twenty feet to my right, a hawk blew past me with a large squirrel hanging from its talons. What an incredible sight. I looked around me and there was just one other person walking in front of me on his headphones. He was not phased by the creature. I stood motionless. My eyes moving with the hawk’s flight. It perched itself up in the barren tree content to hold its kill as it watched the kids pass by bundled up against the frigid winds. I braved pulling off my glove to get a picture; it was way too cold to zoom in or adjust. Just snap.

I walked back to my office with my book closed and lodged between papers in my backpack. I looked at the Cuzzins yogurt shop with the chairs flipped over on the tables. When did that place start closing at 2 pm? Maybe some day I will open an ice cream store like Ri and I used to talk about doing on Grandview Ave. when she was 4 years old. I watched as a young kid motioned his arms up and down to the beat of what must have been some good rappin’ on his iPod. I wondered if Mario would be engaging in these same moves when he’s a teenager or whether he’d be jamming out to his uncle Jack’s funk or maybe his own jams; will he learn piano or the drums or the sax, like Jackson? I stared too long at a guy who wore shorts and a t-shirt and casually strolled down High Street in the -4 degree weather as if it was mid-Summer. And I thought of Ri and her ability to go outside during these past couple of weeks with no hat or gloves and survive. She has Jon’s and my warm blood in her. After all, she stayed at the sledding hill a half hour after Mario left freezing and after I begged her to go (noticing it was 1 degree on my phone).

Oh, so this is what it is like to walk without a book in hand or a phone or a magazine or a law article. Oh… what a treat to observe things and people and moments, to imagine what life may have in store, to smile at a past memory with my kids.

Pure Bliss

January 18, 2014January 18, 2014Leave a comment

I experienced a joyful, hilarious moment last night. I was brushing my teeth and looked down to see no toilet paper. “Ugh, there’s no T.P. in here!” Maria was standing next to me brushing her teeth and started laughing hysterically at my predicament. I couldn’t help but chuckle with her; her laugh is contagious. While we were laughing, she tried to step into the bathtub to reach for the washcloth (trying to be funny and act like it’s T.P.) but she tripped herself up on the tub ledge and fell into the tub. Before I could be worried about her being hurt, she rose up with a giant smile on her face and a laughter so deep and hard that it wouldn’t even come out. I began laughing hysterically with her; the two of us gathering more steam by simply looking at one another.

I have experienced that type of raucous laughter with best girlfriends in the past (both drunk and sober) but never so with Ri. Sure, I have laughed with her, and laughed hard with her, but this was different. It was pure bliss. As I laid in bed with her trying to get her to sleep, she still giggled. All I could think of was how much I adored her as my daughter and how much fun she is to have in my life. She has a zest for life that will take her far, and I want to watch as long as I am able.

Chipotle love

January 11, 2014Leave a comment

These babes make me topple over with the love I have for them. I let Ri Grace have a whole burrito (black beans, cheese and sour cream) at Chipotle after she begged me the entire time we stood in line. When I ordered her one, she exclaimed “you are the best mom ever!” So worth a burrito!

Too Much Praise!

January 10, 2014January 10, 20141 Comment

So I remember reading an article similar to this one back when Maria was a toddler. And I remember thinking “that is such bullish–! You can never praise a kid too much.”

If there is one fu– up that I have had as a mom, I think this ranks up there (god knows I have had quite a few). I am able to completely verify the accuracy of the study in this article.

My sweet Maria has only ever been told since birth what an amazingly wonderful, special, fantastic, incredible girl she is. Any project she works on warrants a “what a spectacular job” no matter if it’s mediocre or truly spectacular. Any sport she attempts warrants a “you are a machine out there” no matter if she tripped over everyone. Any drawing she created warranted “that is gorgeous” even if she scribbled and put in little effort. Get my drift?
And I thought “what a great mom I am lavishing all this praise on my girl.”
And she did and continues to do, wonderful things. She’s passionate, adventurous, caring, loving, aware, funny, smart. But she’s also hesitant to try new things or to push herself beyond her known capabilities. She will, at times, but it takes work to get her there. That is why after reading this article, I was beating myself up. It’s hard to think of Ri as having low self-esteem. She is boisterous and not afraid to talk to people and always ready to take a trip and see new sights. She asks questions of adults when she doesn’t understand. She introduces herself to strangers.
But she also gets worried that she’s not as good a reader as her classmates. That she’s uglier than her girlfriends. That she isn’t motivated like her colleagues. That her teacher thinks she’s stupid. When I ask her to try soccer, she doesn’t want to. When I tell her to try to finish a long article, she complains (now that could be pure laziness!). When I tell her to draw an animal she hasn’t drawn, she hesitates.
Is it because I praised her so much that she doesn’t want to risk disappointing me with a new project she doesn’t know if she can complete well? Have I inadvertently caused her to avoid challenges?
Errhh. It’s so frustrating. It’s also humbling. Here I am praising my kid left and right and inadvertently judging the mom who doesn’t – when all along I could have learned some tips from her. It also can’t be the end of the world. There are plenty of “right” things I have done with that baby girl. I’m over the delusion that I will be the perfect mom. I just don’t want to screw her up too much (by the way, Mario is a whole other story – he thrives with excessive praise but there are quite a few other areas that I need to work on…).
So, I will keep this article in mind when I have told Ri for the 10th time how incredible her drawing looks of two stick figures. And I will continue to work on exercises that raise her self-esteem because I know my girl can reach the farthest star in the sky if she believes fully in herself. And I will continue to appreciate myself as a mother trying my hardest to raise intelligent, thoughtful, confident, and empathetic kids.

Amen!

Cone dog

January 10, 2014Leave a comment

Our poor cone-head pup. Ri, Mario and I picked him up on Monday afternoon in the freezing cold weather (the kids were off school due to wind temperatures below zero) and we all “ohhhhed and ahhhhed” over him when they brought him to us. He was pretty out of it from being sedated and the kids were able to hug all over him without him being disturbed. Maria held him against her in the backseat and Mario rubbed his back. Rocco was trembling and the kids kept demanding that I go faster.
When we tried to get him out of the car, he refused to budge. I had to scoop him up in my arms and carry him into the house. Ri and Mario got a kick out of that. As soon as we stepped inside, the kids ran upstairs and got blankets for Rocco. I sat him in the family room and they covered him up. They reached in the cone and rubbed his ears. They told him they loved him. Every time any of us moved away from him, he whined. So, we took turns sitting with him. This was easy for the kids because they got to chill on their iPads.

In the evening, we played crazy eights. I kept jumping up from the table to console Rocco who continued to whine. We finally all got up and went in the family room to be with him. He placed his head on the carpet and let us rub all over him. “He loves us!” Mario announced happily.
The next day he was up and walking around like nothing happened, except he couldn’t quite understand why he had to wear a cone. He was a bit more use to it but he continued to run into his cage and the walls, which continued to crack up the kids.

We got eight more days with this cone. I can’t wait until it comes off, and I know Rocco can’t either. The kids kinda dig it though….

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Kids