I fell in love with this article the moment I read it. So I read it over and over and over again. It hit me on a personal level as the author talks about her struggle with her newborn’s refusal to sleep, and her questions on how we self-soothe as a baby through adulthood.
I remember being up multiple times a night with Ri and Mario trying to soothe them back to sleep and trying to calm my own emotions so I didn’t lose it and scream my head off. I immediately picked them up at their first cry and fed them or rocked them or read them a book. My arms became their soothing balm. I look back and think maybe I should have allowed them to cry it out more but in the end, I treasure that time since I now battle for kisses from them at ages 9 and 7. I got a lot of snuggle time with them when they were babes. A lot.
My self-soothing probably lied in the same experience – holding them in my arms. Rocking them back and forth until they calmed down and laid their small noggin’ onto my shoulder. Feeling each breath as if it was coming right from my chest. I would have never believed that I could function on 2 hours of straight sleep per night but I did – for many months. I also would have never believed that I would not rip someone’s head off after only getting 2 hours of sleep a night. But I never did (although I did cuss my sweet hubby out a few times…).
I appreciate that this article reminds us that we all must find our self-soothing measures or else we begin to go downhill – fast. As the author states:
“It’s a million little moments when we do our best to draw on our own sensory genius, our own self-awareness, our own faith, to feel okay in the world.”
After a really crappy day at work, I still find that my go-to soothing measure is my kids. Playing frisbee with them, hugging them, drawing pictures with them, taking a walk with them – all of these activities calm me down and shift my perspective back to where it should be. And ice cream, that always works, too.
Tag: parenthood
Bears and sushi
Sarah and Jorge returned from Yellowstone and Glacier with limbs intact – even after walking right by a grizzly! Oh, the stories they had to intrigue Maria and Mario.
Mario drags Jorge everywhere as he does with any male that comes to the house. Jorge is a very good sport playing basketball one minute and fighting with Ben Ten figures the next. Maria waits for Sarah to talk about her adventures and most importantly, to open up Sarah’s Mac computer photo shop. The photo shop lets you contort your face in all sorts of lovely ways. This was a beauty of a picture from the shop last night when we chose “Alien.”
Sarah had an awesome slide show of their trip full of pictures of the mountainsides, sunsets, gorgeous wildflowers, moose and bears. God love ’em, they go for it when they decide to hike and they take great pictures. The bear pictures obviously peaked the kids’ interests but I think they fell more in love with the little chunky chipmunk peeking over a rock because he was “so adorable.”
We splurged on sushi for dinner. Spicy tuna, dragon, and spicy salmon rolls – yum. Maria braved a bite but promptly spit it out. “I will stick with macaroni and cheese” she declared. We sat around the kitchen table and talked about our trip to Michigan and the sand dunes Sar and I used to tackle when we vacationed as kids. It was a treat having my sis and Jorge over for dinner. M&M did not want the night to end begging to spend the night with them at the apartment. Sar and Jorge weren’t quite prepared for that action yet but they better get ready for Jon and me to send them to Pittsburgh for a weekend sometime soon ( if they can handle bears they can handle M&M!).
Missin’ you
Damn, I miss my boy. I miss his “MOM” squeal when I walk through the door. I miss him barreling at me with full speed only to place a most gentle kiss on my cheek. I miss him performing his way too sexy for a four year old dance moves all over the family room. I miss him asking me how my day was at work. I miss his magnificent smile when he draws a “F” for me. I miss carrying him upstairs with his arms wrapped tightly around my neck and his cheek against mine. I miss him begging for me to read just one more book to him. I miss evening kisses.
And all of this missing after just one night away from him. And after that same night wherein I told Jon it will be nice to have just one kid to deal with for a couple of days.
And then, within 24 hours. I can feel this longing to have him back home with me. Now, that is not to say that I want to give up my night of relaxation and freedom to not have to wrestle every 15 minutes. I just can’t get over how I miss him so quickly. It must be love….
We are lucky to have Jon’s parents so close and so willing and able to take Mario (and Maria) for a few days. As much as I miss him (and Ri when she’s gone) I know it’s a much-needed break on my end to be able to recharge and get my mind and body rested. Mothers and fathers need that respite. I have always felt that the best gift to a mom or dad is time away from their children…it is only through that distance that your appreciation and fondness for your kids grows deeper. And after three days away from Mario, I appreciate his insanity and rough housing and welcome it back into our way-too-quiet home.
"MOM!" 