Tag: siblings

Growing Up

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My babies are growing up.  I remember when Maria was just a tiny 8 pound baby serious and somber. I remember when Mario was an 8 pound baby smiling and squirming everywhere.  And now here they are ages 5 and almost three.  Maria heading to kindergarten and Mario heading to preschool. 

Mario's picture on his door

Mario’s last “full” day in the toddler room was today; his teachers (who I adore) blew up a picture of him in his helmet to hang up on the door.  It included well wishes from them and the other toddlers.  Maria took one look at it and cooed at him “ahh, Mario, we love you – you are so cuuute!”  Amanda, the teacher who has been with him the longest, cried as we talked about his transition.  I am fairly calm about it at this stage but next week will likely throw me for a loop, especially if it is hard from him to transition.  I persevered through nearly three months of incessant crying each day I dropped him off until he finally got to the point of waving goodbye to me with a smile on his face.  I hope the same scenario will not occur again.  Maria is bummed he will not be in her room (even though she is only in her class another four weeks).  She wants to nurture him for as long as possible before she heads out to big K. 

Maria cuddling her borther after a swim

I will always remember an email that my dad sent to me a while back. I still have the email in my office to lift my spirits in time of need (and god knows there have been too many times lately!).  In part, he told me that he was incredibly happy that I was his oldest child because I was so good with my little sis and brother.  I feel the same way with Maria.  She is the best older sister a boy could have – funny, protective, daring, adventurous, warm, and generous. 

I think Mario will enjoy preschool – he adores learning and one of the preschool teachers is a science nut, which is right up Mario’s alley.  I think he will also continue his crazy antics and have all of his new friends in stitches within a couple of hours on his first day.  He is a born comedian. 

I think Maria will enjoy Kindergarten but I fear it may take her a little more time to get used to the new school, new friends, new teachers.  It took her some time to get used to the new friends at her current school.  She is very shy when she first meets kids her age and can be a little intimidating in her look (a total Jon characteristic!).  She gets nervous and withdrawn.  But, once she feels comfortable, she is just as crazy as her brother.  She is still into boys and boyfriends and dating.  It makes no sense to me.  Age 5.  How?  I struggle with whether to just forbid the talk in the house or to allow her to “let it out” with the hopes that she loses all interest by the age of 7.  Anyone had this issue and resolve it well?  Help a struggling mom out!

Maria "taking care of" her brother

There was a time years ago when I was complaining to a friend about how tired I was and irritable I was due to the lack of sleep from being up with a cranky, colicky Maria night after night.  My friend looked at me directly in the eyes and retorted “You will look back at these days and wonder how they darted by so fast.”  At the time, I wanted to smack her. Now, I see exactly what she meant.  I still remember those days of being so tired and irritable, and I am glad that I am not getting up every two hours with a crying baby.  But, they do seem like they were just here yesterday and old time has flown by past me shaking its head and sassing “told ya.”  Because of that, I am more conscious of my time with these babies.  I know the days of Mario lightly touching my cheek and whispering “I love you to the moon” are not going to last forever.  I understand that Maria’s wish to hang out with me every second of the day will not survive ten more years.  I want to embrace it while I can and hold it close to me.

M&M heading to school this summer

The Beauty in a Touch

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The rascals ready to head outside

Maria and Mario have been giving us a run for our money lately.  Jon and I have threatened on a few too many occasions that we are going to send them off to a deserted island to make it on their own.  I think they are at the point of agreeing to such a proposal. Maria asked me tonight whether Jon and I would agree to let her move in with a boyfriend if she had just gone on one date with him.  Yeah, I am not kidding.  Age 5. Yikes. Of course, at this point, I am ready to bellow “yes, go!” but I restrain myself knowing that my mind is warped from too many jigsaw puzzles and barbie dramas.  I look so forward to the weekends but by the time 7 pm Sunday hits, I am done.  Cooked. 

Me and the babes posing for the camera

The family did have a good weekend this past weekend, however. We went to “Big Mario’s house on Saturday afternoon to go fishing.  Mario had fished with Jon a few weeks back and Jon thought it would be great to have the entire family out on the dock fishing.  He got poles, lines, bait.  We got to Mario’s, said our hellos and then headed down to the dock for some good ol’ fishing.  While we waited for Jon to get the poles together, we threw catfood into the water to attract the fish.  Mario cracked us up with his utter joy in seeing the ripples formed from the fish grabbing at the food.  He would see a snatch and his eyes would bulge out, his right arm would shoot up, and he would exclaim “look mom!” Precious.  Maria just wanted to put her feet in the water and move them around in the mud.  She has always been sensual – feeling the silk of her blankie, soaking her hair in the bath.  She loved the feel of the mud on her feet.  After Jon got the poles together, he brought one to Mario.  He clung to me and yelled “no, mom – I am scared.”  Huh?! Jon informed me that during the last fishing trip, a catfish’s barb had gotten Mario and so he may be gunshy (or hookshy?) now.  That he was.  He wanted nothing to do with fishing.  Well, one down. 

Maria and her dad with their catch

Maria gave it a try.  Within 5 minutes, she and her father got a catfish.  But after that one, she became bored because the fish did not bite right away.  Poor Jon.  So much for our lovely family outing.  I gave them a bath (they adore Mario and Vicki’s bubble bath tub) and Jon continued his fishing all alone.  We did have a kickin’ pasta family meal thanks to Aunt Vicki who made meatballs, homemade bread, and zucchini muffins with icing.  Yum! 

On Sunday, we hosted Grandma Lolo at Stauf’s.  What a time that was.  My poor mom.  She had bad allergies and then the kids were insane with energy and goofiness, and would not sit still or give us a moment to talk.  I was ready to strangle them both but there were too many people around.  I continue to struggle with allowing them to talk and express themselves at the table (I am not one of those parents that think kids should be silent at the dinner table) but not allowing them to be rude and interruptive.  

Sibling love

When we got home, I told Jon I was ready to go nuts.  He had his talk with them (“You will listen to us” with Mario responding “no, I will not.”).  We all went our respective ways to cool off.  It worked because within fifteen minutes we were off on a run in the stroller through Grandview.  Maria and Mario brought their coloring and sticker books and Maria played teacher with Mario telling him how smart he was and how cute he was 9. 

We rushed down to COSI when we got home for Maria’s friend’s birthday party.  Jon and I watched Mario while Maria went to her private room.  He had a blast.  We decided he is definitely going to be a mountain climber or an extreme sport adventurer.  He climbed up these wood decorations on the outer part of the steps and did not miss a beat.  There were nooks and crannies that he needed to step in or avoid and he was right on.  It was hilarious.  And he wanted no help.  If he did not get it right away, he kept trying with all of his heart.  He does not give up.  Maria had a blast with her friends and was fine being on her own for two hours. 

We came home and called it a night staying around the house.  Mario had a few meltdowns because he failed to take a nap during the day.  He hit me a few times, also, which promptly led me to place him down and walk away from him.  Within three seconds of being put down, I hear “MOMMMMMY!” along with whimpering of “sorry mommy.”  He laid next to me on the couch watching a movie before bed, and at one point he placed the inside of his hand on my cheek.  I looked over at him and he whispered “I love you mom.”  Meltdown.  That is all it takes to forget the major tantrums he had throughout the day.  He knows the tricks. 

We went upstairs to play before bed and Maria played barbies.  She told Jon that her barbies were models and that they were all “perfect.”  Jon asked her if she thought I was perfect.  Maria responded “no, mom is alright.”  I gave her a sigh and told her that I would rather be smart and funny and engaged in life than be a size 0.  Hopefully that soaks in.  However, she did go on to clarify that these models also went to college.  Ok, getting better.  We eventually got them to bed but Maria came downstairs about a half hour later.  Jon asked what she needed and she said she wanted to tell me something. 

She came over to the computer and said “Mom, I am sorry for saying that you are not perfect earlier.  You are the best mom.”  A second meltdown.  And she got what she wanted – me upstairs laying with her until she fell asleep.  Sometimes giving in is the best route to go.

 

The Muscle

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When Maria was at her old school, she had a girlfriend named Belle.  Belle and Maria met when they were infants together in the Infant Room and they moved from room to room together as they got older.  Belle was always, from infant through preschool years, as tiny as a sprite.  Maria, on the other hand, was always, from infant through preschool years, as thick and strong as a professional bodyguard.  She protected Belle as if it was her full-time profession.  If any kid approached Belle, they better be ready to let Maria know what they needed. Maria would make the call of whether the kid got what they needed or had to move on.  And Belle was absolutely fine with this arrangement.  If a kid picked on Belle, she knew Maria had her back and would either have strong words with the kid or toss the kid on his backside. 

Maria and Belle at Valentine's Day, 2007

When Belle had a birthday party at age 3, Maria happily came over to her house.  As we were watching them play, and we noticed Maria strong arming one of the kids so Belle could get a toy of her choice, Belle’s dad stated “That is Maria.  She is “The Muscle.” At first, I was offended.  All of these other little, tiny, frail children in the room with my strong, thick, athletic darling, and she gets called “The Muscle.” But after no time at all, I took it as a compliment.  She protects; she comforts; she is loyal.  

Maria has since left Belle and moved onto a new daycare where there is no “Belle” to protect.  However, she has moved on to a closer blood line.  Her brother.  You could describe him as a little sprite, also.  Or an “imp” as his grandma calls him.  No matter how you describe him, he could definitely use some “Muscle” and luckily, Maria is willing to provide it. 

When the daycare had a family fun night, they got a bouncy tent and the kids jumped in it five at a time.  Maria and Mario waited patiently for their turn, and when they got in, three other kids a little older than Maria got in with them.  One of the kids, a bigger boy, accidentally jumped into Mario as he lost his balance.  Maria immediately swung up her arm and stopped him from knocking Mario over and then shouted at him “This is my brother! Get away!”  She pulled Mario over to the corner of the tent so they could jump in peace. 

Maria watching over her brother early on

When I went to pick up Maria and Mario this evening, Maria was outside on the playground with her class.  They had just taken out bikes and scooters to ride around the playground.  Mario ran outside after seeing this and started crying because he did not have a bike to ride.  I explained to him that it was Maria’s class’ turn to ride bikes and that we could ride one when we got home.  He had nothing to do with me and continued to sulk and cross his tiny arms.  Maria watched all of this and I could see her observing with great intent all of the kids on bicycles on the playground.  After about three minutes, Mario went over to the jungle gym and began climbing.  Just then, Katherine got off her bike.  You would have thought Maria had a firecracker in her pants.  She darted over to that bike and jumped on it yelling “Mario, I got you a bike!”  Mario squealed with joy.  He began to jump on it when another little girl from Maria’s class, Sydney, tried to grab it.  The Muscle was ready for this development, and pushed Sydney’s hand away firmly stating “No, Sydney, this is a bike for my brother.”  Mario stayed in place waiting to see if he could take off.  Maria then called out “Go, Mario, ride that bike!” and so he did.  I caught wind of this whole scenario and told Maria that Sydney should get the bike because it was her class’ turn.  Maria looked at me and convincingly stated “I gave my turn to Mario so he should be able to ride it.”  When I finally made him dismantle, she was still protesting that he should be able to continue to ride it because “he is my brother and he wants to ride.”  Loyal to the end. 

Best buddies

Mario is a lucky sucker to have his “Muscle” around nearly all the time, and the Muscle has had an influence on him.  Although he does not pack it the way Maria does, he is tiny and mighty.  When I or my husband firmly tell Maria to do something or raise our voice at her, he darts in from the adjoining room, jabs us in the leg, and commands “That is my sister!”  Maria is not only the Muscle but also seems to be the Teacher.