To walk

In the summer, Maria started taking a two mile run/walk with me in the woods. She dreaded it but usually felt better once it was over and we were in the AC back home. Then, she got a treadmill, and she never wanted to hit the “nasty outdoors” again. She cannot stand the sun or heat. Yes, I am not kidding. I keep telling her that she should move to Seattle when she turns 18 so that she can live in the spitting rain and gray skies. 

Nevertheless, she would not put up a major fight (sometimes it would be a whine and other times an exasperated sigh) when I asked her to only take a one mile walk in the woods with me. She conditioned her agreement to go on us taking Rocco so we could watch him gnaw on sticks and play with pups in the woods. It’s been a bit easier to get her to go with me lately because I will allow her to go on and on and on about getting her temps. This has been a dream of hers for at least a year. For the last three months, she has talked about how she cannot wait until October 31 so that she can get her temps and drive around town. Jon can’t stomach to talk about it anymore so when I walk with her, she is permitted to talk about what the test will be like, how awesome it will be when she gets her temps, where she will want to drive, what questions she think will be on the test, where she will drive me around town…you name it.

I have also made her walk to school in the morning. She was appalled at the thought of it at the beginning of the school year but now she has gotten more used to it. Don’t get me wrong, she constantly talks about how she cannot wait to drive to school, but she doesn’t beg for Jon to take her every morning like she used to in year’s past.

The other night, I was doing some work on the computer, and she came up from the basement to tell me that she had an essay she wanted to read to me. We went upstairs and sat on my bed. It started out with a definition of “to walk.” She then detailed how our simple walks bring her some unexpected joy during this Covid time. She notices more on her walks and feels more prepared her for school day.  What?!

These are the little nuggets that I need to hear throughout my weeks to help me witness the positive marks I leave on my children. So often I beat myself up for snapping at the kids or not doing enough reading with the kids or falling short in some other arena…but then I hear my kid finding joy in something I brought them, and I realize I’m also doing some good in this world. 

Now, do I think she will forgo driving the car to school once she is able? Probably not. But she may take a few more minutes to think about it, and end up taking a tiny stroll after school, at least, to the woods with me.



These days.

My ideal day is waking early for a morning workout and coming home to take a walk to Stauf’s with Ri and Mario. I love it because we are all present in the moment. We notice the cardinal tucked in the mid section of a bush. We squeal at the bunny darting out of a flower bed. We touch the needles of the pine tree in the alley and I reminisce to them about when they were babies and I placed their finger on a needle and yelped “ouch” and they smiled at me in delight. 

The kids still get excited to scope out a table at the coffee shoppe. They recently added high tables and bar stools to the shoppe so I knew they’d go for those. Mario steps up on the lower rung of the chair and lifts himself into the seat. Maria gets water for us all. I order bagels and a coffee. We sit at the table and play War and crazy eights (with Grandma Menkedick’s cards from 1963). When I win at the war between Mario and me, Ri laughs because I get one of Mario’s aces out of it. Mario reluctantly hands it over. This is the one place that the both of them remain in good spirits while playing a card game – must be the chill atmosphere.

  

It takes a lot for me to relax – as Jon says “you never stop.” But I can sit in that coffee shoppe with these kids for hours and have no desire to move. There must be some relaxer drug in those bagels.

Maria’s stomach was hurting her after she finished her bagel and chai tea latte – she spent a long time in the bathroom. I went to check on her after Mario and I thought she may have passed out. There she was looking miserable and holding her tummy. My girl likes to go at it in life – no matter if it’s partying at the pool or eating a bagel smothered in cream cheese. 

So what do I have her do to recover?

Bike to the river with Mario and me. I figured she needed to move that food out of her system so she needed to move her body in order to accomplish that. It would be worse for her to go home and lay down. Right?!

So there she was biking next to me looking miserable. Mario was up ahead biking away in his own little world, loving the freedom he had. We arrived at our old stomping grounds shortly after we departed. It seemed to take such a longer time when I had them both in the double stroller (hmmm, wonder why? maybe the 100 pounds I had to push slowed me down). Ri immediately went to lay on a big rock to rest her tummy. Sweet girl.

  

Meanwhile, Mario was in heaven. He loved looking at the different rocks and throwing them in the river. As we tried to skip a few, he said to me “I remember coming here in the stroller with you and Ri and eating my timbits.” The kid doesn’t remember much so I was excited to hear that he remembered our river trips. We searched for unique rocks after Ri rested a bit. Mario would find one and run over to show Ri and me. He found one with a fossil in it that he thought was cool. They both discovered round, smooth ones that they decided to paint for Emma on her first day of babysitting them. We watched the tiny birds fly in and out of their hive nests situated in the corners of the bridge overpass. Pure delight. These are the moments to slurp up and recall when you’re having an annoying day.

   
   

Ri started to peter out on us after a while so we called it a day and headed down the bike trail to home. Ri was my trooper riding her bike with a tummy ache. She wanted Jon to pick her up badly but I told her she could make it. I’m quite sure she was cursing me in her head but she did it and with each small feat like that, I’m convinced she’s gained another layer of grit. Mario was like a teenager biking far ahead of us but stopping at every stop light and waiting for a green light. He likes that independence. 

Maria looked at me when we pulled into the driveway. “Are you proud of me, mom?” “Absolutely”, I told her. 

I walked inside the house and Mario was guzzling water. “Hey, mom”, he said flatly sounding just like a teenage boy. 

Please let me not forget these days.

Finally! A no travel weekend

We had no plans to travel this weekend. I don’t believe that has happened for three months. Ms. Elena has a lot to do with that predicament. Ri and I can barely go a week without heading to the farm to see her.

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We’ve also had Cincy pool parties, Big Mario’s pig roast, farm family reunions, vacation. You name it, we did it this Summer. So it was heavenly to stay put this weekend.
Maria had a Strings picnic on Saturday afternoon. I thought it was just a gathering outside the middle school to play on the swings and jungle gym and get to know fellow String players. I had Joanne pick up Ri so I could finish cleaning and told Ri I’d meet up with her at 1 (the picnic was 12-2). Mario and I walked up at 1. I should say that Mario started out in the stroller but then walked as soon as we spotted his football coach. He had not wanted the stroller to begin with but we were in a hurry and he wanted to eat lunch so he couldn’t bike. He even told me as he hopped in “I can’t let anyone see me in this because it’s embarrassing.” So when we spotted Coach Jim and his family a block ahead of us, he leaped out of his seat and walked ahead of me. What a trip.
We arrived at Edison to find no one outside. We learned the picnic was inside and all the kids, including Ri, were sitting in rows with their instruments. I guess this is a musician’s idea of a picnic… The 4th graders plucked away as they tried to follow the notes on the page. The 5-7 graders played with their bows. They actually sounded pretty good. Ri and her two girlfriends looked a bit overwhelmed but they hung in with the rest of them.
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Afterwards, I asked Ri what she thought. She confirmed she was overwhelmed and that her fingers were sore from plucking. I began to feel the “I want to give up” cloud moving in and promptly blew it away. “You are just starting. You will only get better. You need to hang in there.” She nodded and continued walking.
When we got home, she immediately placed her violin case on the table and took it out. She began to pluck after she wrote down a line of D’s, A’s and G’s. She did this off and on all weekend, and loved playing a “concert” for Jon and Mario and me. Hopefully, this enthusiasm will remain.
Mario enjoyed hanging with his boy, Quinn over the weekend and swimming with his friends Zachary and Owen. He always wants to be with his friends or on his iPad so when we say no to iPad, we know he will ask to play with a friend. Quinn is always first on the list. But Saturday, Quinn was busy so Mario met Zachary and Owen to swim and play at Zachary’s house. Dressing up and drinking lots of juice was involved.
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Ri and Sophie and I took Rocco for a walk to Grandview Ave. around dinner time. Why is it that we always and up with Jeni’s ice cream for dinner when we do that?!
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Mario and I played Yahtzee when we got home while Ri played violin. He and I had an epic battle – two competitive souls fighting for a Yahtzee. Neither of us got one but he made it up top so he beat me by 35 points. He loved that.
On Sunday, Jon and I were treated to an anniversary breakfast in bed by M&M. Mario kept running into our room to see if we were sleeping until finally he pleaded for us to get up at 8 am (yea, they were up before 7). He brought us two coffees and me a Powerade. He knows his mama. Ri brought up two plates holding two over easy eggs and a waffle. They made us eat all the food as they watched us (the eggs may have needed cooked a bit longer). We told them that the best things to came from our marriage were them munchballs.

After breakfast, we cleaned Ri’s room – I swear we had two garbage bags of stuff to either throw away or give away and yet her room was still cluttered as can be. Mario would not allow his room to be clawed over for old toys and trash. He neatly piled all his junk in his drawers or bins and called it a day.
I did get the kids to take Rocco to the woods with me. Rocco has finally come to terms with the kids climbing up the tree. He used to bark and jump up on the tree to get them.
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Mario got his wish come true the rest of Sunday. He got to play with Quinn all day. Ri got to play with Sophie, too. It’s been such a long time since we had an entire day to spend just relaxing with friends. Jon and I spent the day gazing into each others’ eyes still mesmerized by each other 12 years after we said our vows to one another. Actually I got a massage and he got palettes for Ri’s broken bed frame but we did swipe smiles at one another as we walked out the door. >

Hangin’ with the Cousins

Baby Grace

Liz and Baby Grace came to visit us today. Maggie and I were hoping she would come up and spend the day with us! Baby Grace has been my biggest fan lately running up to me when she sees me and begging to be held. I love the way that she chirps “Aunt Mary.” Mario showed her all around the house and played with her in Maria’s room. He tried to find books that she would enjoy, barbies she would like, and toys that were “baby toys.”

Maria taking Zach over!

Soon after they arrived, Maria came home from a sleepover with her friend, Zach (when are girls too old to sleep over at boys’ houses?!). Zach and her are the best of friends and the worst of friends. They play really well for an hour or two, and then they scream at each other non-stop. They both are passionate, loud people and neither will back down when they believe they are right (and they always believe they are right). Zach’s mom reported that they woke up by 8 am and by 11 am, it was time to split them up. Maria was bummed about coming home until she realized Gracie was here. She grabbed her up and gave her the “Maria Bear-Hug” smothering Gracie in pure love.

The kids danced to  Wii Dance Party 3. Mario and Maria both figured out that the number of stars you get relates to how well you followed the moves. They both get upset when they doesn’t dance perfectly. They should add stars if you sing along to the song – Mario would have the max. He tries to sing to every song. After we danced for a while and I carried Gracie to every room, we decided to get some lunch at Champps. Thank god for electronics. Maria and Grace played with my Iphone and Mario played his leapster allowing for Liz, Maggie and me to talk. A wonderful gift! How did Maggie and Liz turn from little babes to smart, funny, endearing women? I swear it was yesterday that I was changing their diapers and playing peek-a-boo with them!

The crew at Champps

After lunch, Maria opted to hang with Liz and Mag and Grace at Target and Mario and I went home. We got out the stroller (it hit 52 degrees today) and headed to Giant Eagle to find discount Christmas toys and candy. I supply M&Ms at work and getting the big bags for $1.00 is too good of a deal to pass. We also scored a baby doll for Gracie. On the way home, Mario asked me to tell him a story. Mario loves stories about him in different situations. Typically, he is in the forest saving animals or on a boat catching big fish. After my fourth one, I looked down and he was fast asleep (yeah, I have quite enticing stories)! It reminded me of when Mario was one-year-old and I used to stroll him around the neighborhood to get him to sleep. I miss those days… somewhat.

Making "grass" angels

When we got home, the girls were waiting for us. Maggie and Liz were on the couch watching football and Maria and Graice were playing in the basement. Maria loves to watch Grace and try to teach her things. But Grace is an independent little soul, too, so she often wants to do things on her own. This leads to frustration on Maria’s part and a bit of crying. We decided that we would take a walk with Gracie to see if she would close to Maria on the playground. Sure enough, Gracie started to take to Maria as we walked along and maria continued to play peek-a-boo behind the trees. When Maria made a “grass” angel at the park, Gracie was hooked.

When we got home, we sat around watching football, eating ribs and ice cream, and taking turns playing with the kids. Liz and Mag left around 7:30 and the house felt empty. Messy, but empty. When I took the kids upstairs to bed, Maria asked if Gracie could come over again soon. In a heartbeat, I told her. I miss the chirping of “Aunt Mary.”

Happy Birthday Cy!

Our pup turned 13 today. 

Cy with the kids last year

I remember driving with Jon to the farm in Alexandria, Ohio to look at puppy Chesapeake Bay Retrievers in 1998.  They were all so cute and playful.  But Cy stood out to me.  I still don’t know why in particular.  He was not more cuddly than the others, or more playful, or more distinguishing.  He just felt right to me.  A connection between him and I from the start.  We purchased him and drove him back to his new home in Columbus.  He laid his body on my chest the entire ride home.  My first taste of pure motherly love. 

We did everything together for the first 7 years of his life.  We walked every single day and on the weekends, we ran to the river and Cy got to swim.  I threw sticks to him and he excitedly retrieved them all.  He loved the water and looked like a dog pharaoh sitting chest-high in the water with his reddish-brown fur shining in the sun.  We would run farther down the trail to hit the 6 mile mark and then stop on the way back for another dip in the river.  Once home, I would give him a bath outside in the yard and lather him with love and affection.  We’d lay on the floor together watching tv or reading the paper.  He’d lie his face in my lap and beg me to rub under his chin.  He’d re-position himself to allow me to rub his belly.  We refused to go out some nights because we couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him lonely at the door.  We spoiled him.  He deserved it.

Cy on his 13th b-day!

I remember being pregnant with Maria and thinking “How can I ever love this baby as much as I love Cy?”  When we brought her home from the hospital, we were concerned that Cy would become protective over me and shun Maria.  The first few days we watched his every move with her to make sure that he acted friendly and did not growl or nip.  To our relief, Cy was protective over Maria and watched her every move.  If she began to cry, he trotted into the other room to find us.  He laid next to her when she sat in her bouncy seat.  And he always helped clean her toes with his big wet tongue.  He engaged in the same rituals with Mario after his birth (and Mario tried his patience a lot more by pulling his tail and hitting his head with his favorite toys). 

After Maria’s birth, I still walked Cy a good amount around the neighborhood.  We didn’t get to the river as much as pre-Maria but the walks around the neighborhood provided good exercise.  After Mario came home, there was a lot less time for long walks.  We still managed to get walks around the block several times a day but nothing like the mega runs to the river.  Not too long after Mario started walking, Cy decided he had enough of walking long distances and when we would take him out on his leash, he would not even walk 50 feet without stopping and wrenching his neck back refusing to walk farther.  He would go out back and fetch the stick or run around the house, but he did not want to walk outside.  I respected his wishes but it was difficult to let go of that routine with him. 

The kid crew enjoying the cupcakes!

Within the last year, it has been harder for him to rise in the morning and harder for him to manuever steps.  At our new house, we can only let him out in the front yard because he can’t handle the narrow and greater number of steps out back.  But even though he is having trouble with getting up in the morning and maneuvering steps, he is still the sweetest, gentlest dog ever.  He still nuzzles into your side when you get close to him to pet him.  He still turns on his back to beg for a tummy rub.  He still stares at you with his big brown eyes as if to try to tell you how cool he thinks you are.  He still provides comfort when you walk in the door and see him waiting for you.  I think this quote sums up our relationships with dogs well: “He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”

Giving Cy his b-day lovin'!

The kids and I decided that Cy needed a birthday cake and birthday bones to celebrate his big 13th birthday.  We bought mini cupcakes at Kroger’s (Maria made sure that we got small vanilla cupcakes because Cy can’t eat chocolate and because Cy would get sick with too much sugar).  We invited Maria’s friends over to celebrate.  We lit up four cupcakes (one for each kid to blow out) and put bones in two of them.  We tried to get Cy to wear a b-day hat but he quickly tore it off and chewed it up (after all, it was a princess pink hat).  We sang “Happy Birthday” to him and blew out the candles.  Maria took the time to peel off the wrapper from one of the cupcakes to feed to Cy before she ate her cupcake (Mario just ripped into his without any thought to the b-day dog).  The cupcakes were devoured in record time and Cy ate what crumbs remained on the floor.  Mario fed him the two bones, and the kids ran back upstairs to play fort.  Cy and I sat downstairs together looking at the deep blue sky out the window.  He looked pleased with his birthday treats and birthday lovin’.