I do have some understanding of what my personal hell will be if I should end up in that place when I pass someday. I got some mean, mad, fired-up food in my system on Monday and it took a vengeance on me Monday night. It crept up slowly causing me to hold my stomach and sit on the couch from 6 pm forward on Monday night.

The kids received a royal treat – two hours of Little Bear and Dora. “Mom, you need to get sick more often!” By their bedtime, I could barely move and I felt like my intestinal organs were doing double flips and cartwheels. Thank goodness my hubby was in town and could put the two tv-infested children to bed. I laid in my bed moaning and freezing and burning up and freezing until about 9:30 pm when I felt this monster in my stomach rearing its ugly head. I shot into the bathroom and proceeded to regurgitate what had to be every meal I have eaten since the age of 5. Then, just when I thought it could not get any worse, I had to shoot up and sit on the toilet for 20 minutes.

Maria and Mario were absolutely appalled and beside themselves with disgust (I stirred them from their sleep with my exorcist-like regurgitation – one of the downfalls of living in such a small abode). This same scenario recurred all the way through the night into the morning.  Every ten minutes I stared at the clock thinking “how is it possible that it only ten minutes has gone by!” I prayed that life would fast forward itself and take me out of this misery – I was bargaining with a higher power at any cost.  I even think I offered my first-born (sorry Maria) at one point (I would have gotten you back, Maria – no worries).  Until finally at around 8 am, I was able to drink some water without throwing it up like a fountain in the plaza.

My thirst was unquenchable throughout the night. I swore I was on a desert island (minus the beautiful blue skies and palm trees) craving water, water, water.  It was like a piece of heaven when I could actually take a sip and have it stay in my system. Little by little I ventured a couple more sips until I was able to chug 4 ounces without a problem. Nothing like taking certain things for granted in life. Every time I drink a glass of water now, I will remember how precious it is (or at least for another week or two when my memory of this hellish night will fade)!

I am back with the living today, and making sure that I perform a lot of good deeds to avoid any thought that I will be down yonder upon my last breath. Where is the next elder I can help across the street?