I have been thinking about faith lately. It is inevitable when I have two kids who constantly make me question my existence and purpose.
Jon and I were both raised Catholic and head to church every so often but definitely do not attend on any type of regular basis or have an urgent need to take the kids. We want them to have faith, however. I feel that is necessary to ground them, make them more thoughtful, make them more empathetic and understanding people. If it was completely up to me, I would head down south to one of those small churches to just hear the people sing like it was their last breath and dance and have fun and truly engage in a celebration. That to me is one thousand times better than sitting in a quiet church listening to a man give a monotone sermon about Jesus. It is so dull to me. I have only met one priest in my entire life who had some pizzazz and “umph” that got a rise in me and made me want to continue to sit in the pew.
I want M&M to have their hearts filled with spirit when they go to church. I want them to feel more alive, more hopeful when they leave.
This leads me to Anne Lamott. She is my faith at this stage of my life. She is my refuge – she is who makes me hopeful and makes me feel alive. Her stories about her son, her fears, her obsessions, her downfalls are so true and so real and so raw that I can’t help but dive into them and become a part of them. I walk away from one of her stories and I have learned something. I have faith that all will be ok. I smile at her comparisons. I feel reassured that I am doing the best I can with where I am. I see beauty in M&M even if they almost drive me to buy a one way ticket to Istanbul.
Thank you Anne Lamott for giving me this faith that I continue to struggle to find. Someday I may find a chapel, cathedral, temple, church, park, where I feel a part of the community and I believe in what is being expressed and taught. Until then, I have you. Amen!
"MOM!" 
You’ve opened a big topic here. I’ve been thinking of a blog along these lines. But there are a lot of questions. Life is shaped by our questions. Answers close doors. For instance, what is it you have faith in? What is faith? How is it different from hoping, beliving or knowing? I’m learning to ask people to define what they mean when they use words or terms because the same word means different things to different people.
To bad I have to work today. I have “hope” that I can find time for my blog soon! -K
Yeah, I have opened a huge can of worms, haven’t I?! As I continue to wonder about “faith” and what it means to me, I find myself steering often to a definition of faith that centers around goodness and hope and empathy and understanding and compassion. I have faith that those attributes will prevail in my life, my family’s lives, my friends’ lives, my colleagues’ lives, and the world in general. I have faith in the importance of family; in telling stories; in nature; in the beauty and genuineness of children; in a good chocolatey dessert; in thunderstorms; in a long run. Sometimes I wish I could simply believe that I am going to heaven after I die or that I will be reincarnated (I love Shirley Maclaine with all of my heart but I am still am not there yet!) but when it comes to the afterlife, I have no clue. I hope that my spirit will remain with M&M and it would be really cool if I could just float around their houses as they raise their children and their children raise their children and those children raise their children. I feel my grandma heile’s spirit with me at different moments, especially when I am sitting here in the dining room looking at the framed picture that she displayed in her living room and hearing the chime of the grandfather clock that I received after she passed away. I hope work went well today – I took off at 4 to take the kiddies to the pool! Goodnight, Mary
Good thoughtful answer. I like to ponder, but it boils down to how I live.
“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama