Jon and I walked through our new house tonight after work to do one final check before closing tomorrow. I love our downstairs – the living room has a beautiful bay window to sit in and read my Newsweek; the family room scream for movie nights with the kids; the dining room will embrace family on holidays; and the kitchen may finally be used for cooking dinners! The upstairs freaked us out a bit. The rooms are really small compared to our rooms here. And there is zero closet space. The bathroom upstairs is outdated. We stared at each other for a few minutes knowing that we were both thinking “what the f— were we thinking buying this house with such small rooms?!” I think it is the stress of not selling our current house that is coloring our excitement and concern about the new house. After talking that out for a few minutes, we looked at the rooms in a different light and realized they were smaller than ours but still plenty big for the kids and us (nonetheless, we will knock out the wall to make a master bedroom for us eventually). Besides, the bulk of our awake lives will be spent outside of the bedroom so why is a big bedroom necessary? Mario’s room will fit his bed and a desk easily. Maria’s room, too, and when she moves to the attic, she will have quite the spread.
As we moved back downstairs and outside, our excitement re-emerged. The back yard is charming with its flower border and wooden deck and basketball hoop against the garage. The study will provide a nice refuge from the kids and a great writing nook for me. The street is quiet. This house hit us when we first walked through it – we both envisioned ourselves in it for the rest of our lives. We saw the kids growing up in it with their friends coming over. We saw our family arriving for the holidays. So, we took a breath, gave each other a hug, and realized it is all going to work out just fine. Our house will sell eventually (hopefully before we have paid it off!) and we will love and nurture our new home.
When we got home, the kids ate macaroni and cheese on the counter while Jon and I continued to talk about the house. Maria kept begging us to move out tomorrow (little does she realize how difficult it will be to transition); Mario just kept worrying about the colors of his room (“I want red and green and black”). As I started to stress later in the evening about selling this house, mortgages, etc., I surfed the internet to take me away from it. I found a site on gratitude. I loved the idea of writing one thing you were grateful for each day. I opened up a black journal and wrote the date. I asked Maria what she was grateful for this day. She mentioned mom and dad and Mario and Cy and school and our new house. Mario mentioned mom and dad and sissy and Cy and his Wii girlfriend (yeah, ridiculous). I even made Jon give me an answer because I believe that you give your body and mind a boost by just recognizing that you have things in your life to be grateful for and life is not as stressful as you may see it at a particular moment. I mentioned being thankful for a gorgeous day that allowed me to ride my bike to work; for walking Maria to school this morning and seeing her smile at me when I left; for Mario greeting me while on a bike with dad during my walk back from the grocery; and for our new home that will bring us gems and enduring memories.