Category: Eating

The Relief of a Good Drop-Off and Night with Family

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Sitting on our bed post ready for school

I took Mario into daycare today with Maria.  We had a pretty good morning with a healthy dose of tv, waffles, play, self dress, and more tv.  I got home from my run and the kids were already dressed so they got to watch another show while I showered.  Mario also scored a cereal bar on the way out the door since I did not know how much he ate for breakfast.  On the way to the car, we stopped and looked at Cy’s poop , which is always a source of amazement and disgust (“Mom, do you smell it?!”).  Maria was once fascinated about it but she has since “grown” out of that stage and now just rolls her eyes each time Mario points it out as if she is 13 years old dealing with her babyish 2-year-old brother.  Mario also got to open the car door himself and get in his car seat himself.  Some mornings he could care less if I help him and other mornings when I go to swoop him up into the seat, he screams and cries as if a horrific, disgusting sea monster had just grabbed him with its tentacles and taken him out to sea.  He flails his body and growls and cries “Nooooo!”  And he can never recover.  He gets so angry that he cannot let go of the emotion for a long while.  Much longer than the time it takes to daycare.  So, this was a good morning because he climbed in the seat himself.  We sang “Free to Be You and Me” all the way to school, which really put me in a pleasant mood since it brings back times of my childhood. 

We pulled into school and took our time getting out of the car (another necessity because any type of hurried behavior can set Mario over the edge, too).  I kept telling Mario about all the fun things they were going to do at school today like water play and telling time.  Maria even helped me out.  She can totally read when I need her to help me.  As we walked down the preschool hall, I chirped “everyone wants to be in Mr. Parks’ room!”  Maria looked at me and without hesitation exclaimed “I wish I could be in your classroom, Mario – that would be cool!” even though I know that she really would not want to be in that classroom.  That is my girl. 

We got some animals from Maria’s room that Mario loves to play with and took them to his room.  Finally, we waltzed down to Amanda’s room to say to his old teacher and then waltzed back to preschool.  After all of that, Mario stood in his classroom as I said goodbye and did not ball and wail and cry hysterically.  Yippee!  It only took an extra hour of time and nonstop codling.  We are set now! 

Seriously, though, I do think I would stand on my head on a bed of nails in order to see Mario happy in his preschool room.  It just makes my day so much easier.  I can get more done, my mood is up, my mind is uncluttered.   Jon has drop off duty tomorrow so hopefully it will go just as well.

The kiddies from our weekend get together where they learned how much fun the hose is to play with in this heat

We had a great night tonight with visiting brothers and sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews and cousins.  Maria’s two older cousins, Emi and Elly, are fantastic to have around because they are so good with Maria and Mario.  M&M adore them, too.  We also had Maria’s newest cousin over to the house, Dagmawit.  Jon’s brother, Kevin and his wife Margie adopted her from Ethiopia recently and it was her first time to visit us.  She is a gem of a kid.  She and Maria are very similar in personality – opinionated, direct, and strong-willed.  Maybe it has to do with their moms’ personalities! 

Mario in his dress, headband, make-up and shoes - What a trooper!

The girls dressed Mario up in girl clothes and smothered him in make-up.  Mario is the good sport through it all even modeling for us as he came outside.  Maria and Dagmawit got dolled up by Emi and Elly.  After dinner, they all threw on bathing suits and played in the baby pool with the hose.  The adults actually got to talk together for an hour without being interrupted every 15 seconds.  Very strange….

I love nights like tonight – surrounded by family, good food and drink, great conversation, laughter.  The night even ended well with Maria and Mario on my lap in the rocking chair making up stories about baby bunnies and giraffes who fall in love.  Life is good.

Canada or Bust

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“Should we take the kids to Toronto for the wedding?” 

“Would we drive?” 

“It will be too much to fly. It would be fun to see all of the Italian relatives.” 

“But we will be in a car for eight plus hours with the kids and your parents.” 

“Let’s flip a coin.” 

After much back and forth, we decided to go for it.  Pack the car up with lots of snacks and games and books and movies.  Pick up the in-laws in Marion, Ohio to head up to Toronto with us.  Make sure someone watches our pup for four days. Ensure the “out of office” is on our email.  Confirm Maria has her wedding dress she picked out from Target and her “high heels” that she demanded to where to the event.  

We picked the kids up early from school, which always results in exuberance and glee and spazzing out throughout the halls (teachers either love us or hate us based on our (or I should say mostly, my, “laissez faire” attitude with the children).  We headed up north to grandma and grandpa’s house, got on the road, and stopped within an hour to eat some Wendy’s fast food (yes, I enjoy my food stops!).  A few value meals and a round of frosty shakes and we were back in the car watching Pocahontas as we traveled towards Cleveland.  

About three hours later, 10:30 pm, we stopped at our hotel.  Maria and Mario were so excited about staying at a hotel that it took us an hour to get them to fall asleep.  Eventually, Mario ended up with me in my bed and Maria with Jon in his bed.  I don’t know which kid is worse to sleep with since Mario wakes up crying in the middle of the night not knowing where he is and Maria kicks around the bed all night.  

M&M trying to sleep on the floor but Mom's and Dad's beds were too tempting!

 

When we woke up on Friday morning, the first thing out of Maria’s mouth was “can we go to the pool?”  Mario chimed in with “yeah, let’s go NOW!”  We walked down to our breakfast buffet and each devoured vastly different breakfasts (Jon with his eggs and eggs and eggs; me with my numerous cereals and toast; Mario with his waffles and dabs of yogurt; and Maria with her hodge podge of waffles, various cereals in one bowl (her new favorite thing to do for breakfast), muffins, and toast).  After our meal, the kids and I jumped in our swim suits and headed to the hotel pool.  It was surprisingly warm.  We splashed around for an hour or so and then got the boot from dad and the in-laws who wanted to get on the road. 

The water babies

 

“Niagara Falls, here we come!”  

We all piled into the Yukon (which is a big automobile but with two kids, four adults and a good amount of luggage , food, and toys, it is cramped) and headed onward to Buffalo, New York.  We finally made it to the Falls (after swearing we were lost on a couple of occasions).  We decided not to park and walk to the Falls because of the rain and our desire to just get to Toronto (Maria later told her girlfriend who had gone to the Falls, too, that we just “drove by them.”  Lovely!).   

Although we could not stop at the Falls, we could stop for lunch!  We stopped at another Wendy’s along the Niagara strip and chowed down on nuggets, fries, and more frostys.  We jumped back in the truck, when within five minutes, we felt a drop on the right side of the car and a terrible grinding noise.  

“What the he–?” I whispered to Patty, Jon’s mom.  

Oh please  tell me that it is nothing and the noise will stop soon.  Yeah, wishful thinking.   

A flat tire due to a piece of aluminum lodged in the big ol’ Yukon tire.  

At least we were near a house with a gravel driveway.  We pulled over.  Jon and I tried to change the tire but that was quite the joke. The man who owned the house was in a mechanic’s suit and had a work van so I kept hoping he would pity us.  Jon and I had to look hilarious outside of the truck, combing through manual pages, sliding under the truck to try to find tools.  Finally, he came over to “see what we were up to” (a nice way of saying “you dumbasses, I want you off my property so I am gonna help you in whatever way I can).” 

Workin' on that tire!

 

He began to help us but Jon had already called Triple A to get a “professional” on the scene.  Luckily, the Triple A guy came in less than a half hour and had us fixed up in less than that time.  Meanwhile, Patty and I couldn’t help but roll about the whole event.  

“What’s next?!” 

Surprisingly, the trip was pretty quiet after that incident and we arrived at Philip and Lucy’s house (our cousins) at 5 or so.  Lucy had cooked for us (of course).  She had a salad with tomatoes that had been picked 6 months earlier!  Is that insane?  And they were delicious!  She also had pasta soup, bread, pizza, cheese, fried cheese dumplings, and chocolate chip cookies.  Ahh, heaven.  We ate and ate and ate.  Finally, we decided we had to hit the road for our hotel in order to get some sleep for the night.  

The hotel was very European in style with a crisp, white, modern lobby but very plain, sparse rooms with two beds, a tv and a bathroom.  Maria and Mario just wanted to know where the pool was located.  We jumped in our suits and headed down for a late night swim.  The pool was freezing!  Luckily, there was a tepid hot tub in the pool area, which Mario enjoyed thoroughly.  Jon sat in the hot tub with Mario for the most part, while I caught Maria jumping into the frozen pool.  We trekked it back upstairs to our room, got in our pjs, and goofed around the room until finally zonking out at 11:30.  That, to me, was the most memorable, wonderful time of the trip.  

The next morning, the kids and I went to the breakfast buffet bar, which was way too amazing for Maria and me.  We salivated with each step around the hotcakes, the donuts, the chocolate croissants, the bacon, the cereals.   Mario, on the other hand, could have cared less about it.  After stuffing ourselves, we headed to the pool (nothing better than being completely bloated from gorging on food and then stuffing yourself into a tight bathing suit).  Mario bolted to the tepid hot tub – he is so tiny and skinny that he immediately freezes when he gets into a pool that is not heated.  Of course, I made him get out of the tub every five minutes due to my fear that his organs would melt even though the water was tepid, and he sat on the top step the entire time kicking the water around.  Maria loved jumping in the water to me and then acting like I was her prince and we had just got married.  Yes, everything these days revolves around boyfriend and girlfriend and prince and princess – even swimming. 

We headed to the wedding that afternoon, which was beautiful, simple and very catholic.  After the wedding, the families hosted the guests in the downstairs of the church with prosciutto, olives, cheeses and bread.  Desserts and fruit, too.  We all chowed down only to be fed a seven course meal a few hours later at the reception.  Yes, these Italian weddings can pack on ten pounds in one day.  Maria fell back in love with her Italian cousin, 9 year-old Jean-Franco.  A couple of years ago they played around at another Italian wedding but he was younger then and a little more amenable to playing with a 3-year-old girl.  This time around, he is 9 and “mature” and she is just old enough at 5 to be “an annoying little girl” versus a cute little toddler.  However, she was still able to spend some time with him, lying her head on his arm while he played games on his i Touch (yeah, age 9).  As she confessed later to us in the car “that was my favorite part of the trip.”  Mario ran around like a mad man, sliding across the dance floor, making monster noises, and flirting with the hot Italian ladies.   

Maria dancing with her cousins

 

Mario passed out at 10:30 pm just like a frat boy who parties it up so hard through the night that he lays out flat in the middle of the room when it finally hits him.  Maria made it to her car seat but was out within five minutes.  It was actually snowing when we left the wedding (ahh, I miss that now that I am dealing with 87 degrees and humidity!). 

On Sunday, we promised we would get out quickly so we could deal with the traffic and we could get home at a reasonable time.  “Get out quickly” is not a term used in the Italian culture.  There was no way we were getting out of our cousins’ house without sitting down to a big ol’ Italian lunch of pasta, manicotti, shrimp, pizza.  I am not complaining by any stretch, however, because I enjoyed every minute of it, especially the act of just sitting around and talking, relaxing, catching up.  We don’t do that enough. 

Mario with his comfort items for the trip home (bink and blue blankie)

 

We took off around 1:3o with the stomachs full.  The ride home went amazingly well just like the ride to Canada.  The customs line was a little longer but we kept reading to the kids and singing songs and playing “three little pigs.” I was surprised at the amount of tv watching – I thought it would be on non-stop but we managed to only watch a video here or there.   Impressive! 

Maria passed out on Grandma

 

When we finally pulled into the neighborhood at 9:30 pm, we felt a sense of relief in being “back home” but also a sense of loss in leaving our gregarious, generous, warm family from up north.  If Maria has her way, we will be back up this Summer so she can again hang out with Jean-Franco because he is “sooooo cute!”

From Perfection to Grief to Perfection Again

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Maria starting the day with her yoga moves

We woke up this morning to a hazy, slightly chilly morning with no rain in sight and a double stroller screaming for a tour through the city.   Jon had gone East for one more try at turkey hunting, which left me for a second day of bliss with my darling children (Saturday had been filled with a three-hour b-day party at an indoor pool – fun for the kids, but afterwards every parent looked like they had gone through that negative gravity machine that Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd were in for the movie Spies Like Us). 

I was not upset at Jon taking off for the day because it was going to be a gorgeous day, which inevitably lead to lots of bike rides, stroller rides, and walks.  Within an hour of waking, we were on the road in the double stroller with our stuffed monkey and dog, two blankets and obligatory binky ar we are going to get him off that thing by age 3 (it took Maria to 4 ½).  We headed down the road to Tim Horton’s for a breakfast of sugar and dough.  It was heaven. 

Mario enjoying his timbits!

 After breakfast, we headed across the road to a bike trail that we had not experienced because we typically headed down the opposite stretch of road.  The trail was gorgeous.  You felt like you were in a national forest at times with the tree cover and the rivers on both sides of you and the birds flying closely overhead singing their morning lullabies to you.  We stopped at a bank on the river to throw stones into the water (Mario could stay in that place for three hours and enjoy every second of it).  We also snagged some killer stones for our rock garden (Maria knows how much I love rocks and she presented me with a gorgeous red one wishing me a happy mother’s day (yes, she is still celebrating!)). 

We stopped on the way back to pick wild flowers and make a bouquet for grandma.  It was perfect.  We visited our friend Kim at the fire station and presented her with a few flowers, and then went home to get dressed (yes, the kiddies begged to stay in their nighties and I could not resist – they looked too precious on a Sunday morning). 

After a quick change, we hopped back outdoors and the kids jumped on their bikes to head to the little woods down the street (we went at Maria’s request – lately she has been wanting to take walks and hikes, which I immediately agree to in order to get her away from the tv and leapster).   Maria guided us through the woods to the fire station and back down to the park and back up to our bikes all the while finding us walking sticks and cool rocks. 

Maria and Mario enjoying their tree climbing

Mario loved climbing over the giant fallen tree trunks.  They both mentioned a few times while in the woods how they were “getting exercise” to keep them healthy (yes, my influence finally shines through!).  When we got back to our bikes, we were all drained and it was quite the chore to get home.  Maria ended up getting on Mario’s tiny toddler big wheel and Mario on Maria’s bike in order to keep them amused and doing something new.  We get home and all three of us plopped down on the front steps.

“What now?” I said to them.  “I am hungry.”

Maria seconded her hunger while Mario just stared at the ants crawling on the step below.  I suggested macaroni and cheese and Maria agreed at first.  Then, a few seconds later, she piped in with a question:

Mom, how about we get Jeni’s ice cream for lunch?” 

Normally, I would have been rationale and explained that lunch was a necessity before ice cream but it was Sunday, we were exhausted, and Jeni’s Dark Chocolate and Buckeye State ice creams sounded too tempting to nix.  So, off we were in the stroller to Jeni’s for our ice cream lunch.  While eating lunch, we decided the library was the next stop because we had run out of new books. 

The library slurped us up as always and we did not leave there until an hour and half later with new books in tow and a craft that Maria made me for Mom’s Day (yes, again!).  From the library, we walked to Giant Eagle for cheese, bananas, and squeeze yogurt (Mario’s new love – he chose the “I Carly” yogurt because “she is my girlfriend” – nice influence Maria!). 

We traveled back to the house after the grocery, and crashed on the couch with popcorn and a My Little Pony video (which was luckily only a half-hour ong).  I sat on the couch with Maria on one side and Mario on the other and felt that calm elation I get every once in a while when I have been through something great or I have heard a wonderful speech or I have finished an amazing book.  I was so pleased with life. 

Jon got home shortly thereafter, and I got packed up to head to Stauf’s for a bagel and coke and a little “me” time.  As I got my stuff together, Maria asked me to play barbies with her.  I told her I was going to meet a friend for coffee. 

She flipped out. 

She bawled.

 She went boneless.

 She sobbed. 

She screamed at me.  “I don’t like your friend, mom!”

What a grand send-off after a remarkable day. 

I tried to calm her down.  I hugged her.  I told her we’d go for a walk when I got home.  I told her I loved her to the moon.  Nothing worked.  She cried and begged to come with me. 

Ok, so do I take her?  I started to feel like I should or else she may feel like she has been abandoned or not loved?  But if I took her, she may never understand that her mother needs time with friends.  But she does see me go to work every day so she knows I have friends and activities outside of her.  But since I work every day, I should take her with me on the weekends.  And the voices continue and continue… 

I chose to leave and walk to Stauf’s.  It felt necessary to get away for a few minutes but the entire time I felt the pang of motherhood.  Did I scar Maria by leaving this afternoon?  Will she feel abandoned?  Will she be stronger because she knows mom can’t be there with her every second?  Will she be more independent now?    

An hour later, I walked up to the house and saw Maria in the side of the yard. 

“Mom! Can we go on a walk now?” 

M&M watching the circus horses coming down the street

Maria posing with the elephants

No grudge for leaving; no apparent scars; all smiles.  Ok, so maybe I do worry too much.  In any case, we are back to continuing our wonderful day.  Off to see the elephants and horses walking to the railroad from the circus!     

 

Easter Madness

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M & M hit the Easter Egg Hunt

 

We started our Easter weekend with a trip to Grandview’s Wyman Woods for the annual Easter Egg Hunt on Saturday at 10:00 am.  We had some friends ready to “take us on” in the hunt so we had to prep ourselves up beforehand with stretches and lunges and body jabs.  We will do anything for chocolate, after all.  Especially chocolate easter bunnies with their cute little faces that you can bite off.  There had to be two hundred kids there, some dressed up in bunny ears or tails, some still in their pjs, some in their “Sunday best” to have their picture taken with the freak mammoth bunny in the corner of the park all dressed up in pink and white and bouncing around waving at the kids (and surely cussing every other second about how hot the damn outfit was or how obnoxious the kids are).  

The kids were very patient waiting behind the line while staring at all of the Oreo packages, Reese Peanut Butter Egg packages, and brightly colored eggs with loads of candy inside of them. Finally, the whistle blew and they were off.  Well, the four-year olds were off.  The hunt was for 2 to 4 year olds.  The 2 year olds seemed loss in a daze or a stupor.  “Why are all of these kids running around like maniacs picking litter off the ground?”  But, that was taken care of in a few seconds as all of the parents of these 2 year olds (including moi) started yelling at them: “Over here. Get this one. Hurry!”  

Mario digging in

 

You would have thought that a check for college tuition was in the egg rather than a hershey kiss.  Mario 

Ri enjoying that chocolate

 

managed to get a few eggs, which he proceeded to open and devour every piece of chocolate he found in them.  Bill, one of our friends, gently approached Mario and asked him for a piece of chocolate.  

“NO!” Mario yelled at him.  “This is my candy.”  

Maria, on the other hand, took two whole packages of Oreo cookies and gave one to Bill and another to Heather who had mentioned that she loved those cookies.  What a sweetheart – hopefully, Mario will learn from her!  

Both M & M made the wise choice of not seeing the Easter Bunny.  We went home and showed off our candy to dad who just shook his head knowing that belly aches were surely to come (and not just to the kids!).  Later that night, we visited Grandma and Grandpa Ionno and Jon’s brother and sister-in-law and their two boys.  Maria has a complete crush on both the boys and hung on them all night (they, in turn, played with her as much as they did not want to at times – god love ’em).  Mario enjoyed playing with the older boy’s nerf gun and pretending he was being shot (lovely boys).  Grandma Ionno made her killer cookies, as always.  Why is it so hard to just eat a couple?  I devoured a dozen through the evening alongside Maria who has inherited my love for eating.    

Off to the Hunt

 

On Sunday, we woke up to another egg hunt but this one at our very own house.  I set out the eggs while Jon held the hunters at bay upstairs.  M&M ran out in their pjs just as I remember doing as a little girl and as I remember Sarah doing as a young girl.  The enthusiasm and excitement I felt as a little girl on Easter morning came back watching Maria and Mario hunt around for their eggs.  I loved seeing their face beam as they found an egg.  Oh, the memories!  

Maria finding "My Little Pony!"

 

Mario showing it off

 

We then took off for Cincy at 9:30 am.  We first went to my cousin Kerry’s house.  She lives in northern Cincy with her husband and two kids.  They are fairly close in age to M&M with Anneliese being 6 and Ben being 2.  Maria idolizes Anneliese, and loves to go to her house because she has a kickin’ toy room.  Mario enjoys Ben’s ball collection, and he loved the sticks and trees in the backyard.  My uncle made the most incredible coffee cake for brunch and pecan chocolate pie.  He has the Menkedick sweet tooth just like me.  We envied their house because it has so much open space and light and an awesome family room in the basement.  Oh, what I would give for a family room!  Dad and Meg brought Duke along (their new dog), which caused much glee in M&M who have been waiting to meet him for a whole week (“it felt like a year, mom!”).  

Maria and Anneliese enjoying the swing

 

After eating way too much food (including insanely gorgeous red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese icing ala Meg-pie), we hopped in the truck to head to Grandma Heile’s house (now owned by my cousin Laura since Grandma died last Summer).  Maria was all excited because she had on a gorgeous Easter dress that she knew all of her girl cousins were adore (she loves dressing up for them because they ogle over her all day!).  Mario was excited because Robert and Cy, our high school boy cousins, would be there and he could stand in awe of them playing basketball and toss the ball with them.   Maria got the attention she expected and she even scored some potato salad from Aunt Jane (her absolute favorite food after pasta and meatballs!).  Mario got to throw the volleyball to us after each play (although he would only throw it to Robert most times).  

We had yet another Easter Egg hunt in the big side yard and 

The chosen few for the egg hunt

 

Baby Grace (my cousin Liz’s sweet baby daughter) got the $5 egg (it is tradition to put out one egg with $5 in it).  When Maria found out, she plopped down on the grass and pouted “I wanted that egg.”  I explained to her that it is fun to see Baby Grace get it; besides, she needs diapers and that will help buy them.  Somehow, that explanation resonated with her and she agreed it was best for Baby Grace to get the $5.  Anyway, it meant more candy for her!   

Maria nabbing the eggs

 

Speaking of candy, that is simply all Mario cared about and frantically opened his eggs yelling “Candy Party” each time more candy fell out.  I am surprised that he was not constipated for five days from all the chocolate he devoured.  

We left Laura’s house at 8:30 pm and headed back to Columbus.  The kids were nearly comatose in the backseat staring at the tv. I was picking through the Easter baskets unwrapping random candies and plopping them in my mouth until my belly did start to ache.  Jon drove us all home safely.  It was a busy, magical weekend. 

Mario basking in the chocolate

From Ecstatic to Miserable in less than 5 seconds

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I decided to take Maria out to lunch this afternoon.  She has been begging me to pick her up from school and take her out to lunch since allegedly all of her other friends at school have parents that pick them up for lunch all the time (yes, I found out when I picked her up tonight that rarely anyone gets picked up just for lunch – she is already working me!).  I walked into her room, and unfortunately, she had just finished lunch.  I had not promised her I would be able to get her and I had not told her teachers I Iwas coming because they usually eat at 12:30 and I had picked her up at noon. 

Of course, this was the only day that they decided to eat early.  Maria did not share in my distress about her already eating – when I asked her if we should do it another day, she looked at me strangely and stated “Mom, I can eat again, silly!” 

Jon joined us on our way out the school door, and we went to Bob Evans.  We sat at the counter where Maria and Jon sit when they have their father-daughter dinners.  Maria beamed.  We decided to split  pancakes.  When the waitress asked Maria is she wanted bacon or sausage with her pancakes, she responded “Both.”  God love her.  Then we asked her if she was happy to come out with Jon and I and she exclaimed “Yes, I get another lunch!” 

After lunch, I took her in the stroller to the pet store and Target.  She sported a smile the entire way over to the stores letting me know what a great day it was for her.  We said hello to all of the turtles, snakes, rats, ferrets, cats, and dogs and then made our way to Target.  

“Mom, can I get a toy since I have been good this week?”  (Earlier in the week I had got her a toy because she had to endure four shots in one outing as part of her physical for kindergarten).  I explained to her, as I always have to do, that we do not automatically get toys every time we go to Target.  She blew me off and headed to the toy section.  She looked at barbies and baby dolls, sporadically calling out “I want this one, mom” but then moving on to a new thing within two seconds.  I told her I would get her something small (Yes, I have to learn to say “no” to anything – I am a work in progress).   I knew there was nothing she truly “wanted” or “needed” so I tried to reason with her to hold off on a toy until next time so we could get something bigger and better.  Yeah, right. 

We turned the corner to look in the doll section and there it was….  The Leapster.  The beautiful, glowing Leapter that she has been wanting for a few weeks now, especially because her cousin has one and she got a taste of it last weekend when her cousin brought it over with her.  She looked at me with those pleading, droopy eyes and puckered lips and begged “Please mommy, please.”  I responded with an understanding look and gave her hope by telling her that dad and I were thinking about getting her a Leapster for her birthday. 

“I want one now, mom.”

“Maria, that is a lot of money.  You may get one for your birthday.”

“No, mom, it will be gone by then.  I need it now.” 

“No Maria.”

WIth that second affirmation of “no”, she stomped down the aisle huffing “ugh!” the entire way.  I tried to console her but she would have nothing of it. 

“Get away from me mom.” 

I knew I should have let it go, after all she is four and a half years old – what behavior do I expect?  Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but feel sad and disappointed by her behavior. Here she had been treated to an afternoon out of school, a yummy lunch, a trip to the pet store and now she was acting like I was an evil witch.  How is that fair?  And now what do we do?  Leave to head back to school mad and grumpy?  I was so irritated me that I had taken off two hours from work and she was going to end our time being angry and grumpy.  

I immediately fast forwarded time to her teenage years knowing that this was a harbinger of what was to come.  Indeed, I remember how I was with my folks at that age.  So, I am going to have to learn that this is part of having a kid – you do all you can for them, you give them your entire being at times, and they still treat you as if you have failed to do anything for them since the day they were born.  Shake it off and don’t take it personally.  Impossible but necessary.

We ended up finding an ice cream game that I thought would be fun for her and Mario to play.  She calmed down and we had an enjoyable walk back to school even spotting a hedgehog at the bank of the river.  We gave our good-bye kisses after reading a book and I was off back to work.  I convinced myself on the way to work that I needed to be strong and not try to be Maria’s best friend.  I needed to teach her that she did not “need” toys all the time, that she had to learn that everything was not at her fingertips, and that she needed to have an appreciation for all she had in life.  In doing so, it was inevitable that she snipped at me, got mad at me, told me things I did not want to hear.  I will just call my mom and stepmom during those times and have them remind me how horrible I was back in the day! 

When I came back to the daycare later that afternoon, Maria was happy and running around with her friends.  Mario was also in a pleasant mood (Fridays are great).  His teacher grabbed me as soon as I went outside to get him.  “You have to see this!”  She asked Mario to come over and she engaged in the following dialogue with him:

“Hey Mario”

“What?” he responds.

“Hey Mario”

“What?” he repeats.

“Shake you booty.”

“No way!” He shouts.

“Shake your botty!” 

“Ok!” he shouts and jumps up shaking his booty and dancing around.  

It was hilarious, and I was so bummed that my video would not work on my phone.  He is such a lively, crazy little thing.  He comes up with the most hilarious sayings and engages in the silliest antics.  Our little jokester.  But, I am quite sure he will be pouting in Target someday soon, and I will feel that same sadness I felt with Maria today.  But today built up some resistance, and I have a sneaking susupicion that I will have plenty of times to build up even more resistance in the near future.

The power of appreciation

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I have not gotten to the gym all week.  Jon left town on Monday and returns on Friday.  I hate these weeks for numerous reasons: first, because my hubby is gone; second, because these kids know they can get away with murder with their mama; and third, because I am unable to start my day with a run or with gym time, which can make me very grumpy.  It does not help that I am compulsive about everything so if I don’t work out, then I eat really bad food.  If I workout, I eat really good food.  So, Twix bars and M&Ms have been my diet all week, which makes me even grumpier! 

Actually, I have not been too grumpy this week because I have had such a great time with Maria and Mario.  I have let them stay up late every night (it will be a rude awakening when Dad comes home on Friday!).  We have hit the library, Jeni’s, Wendy’s, and tonight, the indoor swimming pool!  I picked M&M up early and we headed straight to the pool (I had run to Target on my lunch hour and bought swimming suits for both of them since Maria outgrew her suit (when both butt cheecks are falling out you gotta hang it up!)) and Mario had pooped in his a few nights back and I had yet to wash it – lovely).  They were so excited, especially Maria who has been begging to hit the pool for months.   Maria also loved her new bathing suit, which relieved me because I decided against the Princess suit this year and went for a suit full of colorful Peace symbols. 

We arrived to an empty pool, which is a beautiful sight.  No one to bump into us or splash us (all of us are such loners!).  Maria is doing so well with going under water and even went under water while “swimming” to me tonight (scraping her arms along the bottom of the pool with her head submerged – but hey, it is something!).  I make her feel proud with my boasting but I am simply so happy to see her liking the water.  Mario just splashes around, throws his ball, goes down the little slide, and hangs out.  He will not submerge his head, yet.  But I gotta believe that with his crazy self the time will soon come.

We left around 7:00, and we were all starving.  Yes, another Wendy’s night.  Although, Maria chose a baked potato over french fries tonight, which is a positive change (does it matter that she loaded it up with two packets of sour cream!).  As we sat there savoring the salty french fries dipped in ketchup, Maria chimed in with a bit of appreciation that completely took me off guard. 

“Mom, I have two things to thank you for tonight.  Thank you for picking me up early. And thank you for taking us to the pool.”

My little appreciative soul

Just like that my day transformed.   I got more sincere appreciation from my four and a half-year old daughter than I have at work for two years.  

After our dinner, I bought them kid sized Frostys (and myself an adult sized one with M&Ms (they are daggone good!)).  Maria got whipped cream and chocolate sauce on hers.  I looked over at her on her stool with chocolate syrup on her upper lip and Frosty cup in hand.  Her head turned in another direction and looking around the restaurant in a whimsical way, she whispered “What a great ending to the day.”  You hit it on the head, girlie. 

She brings me back to what is true and real to me – my time with family, yummy food, and letting go.  Thanks, Ms. Ria.  I love you!  And, Mario, thanks for keeping us laughing all night with your madness! I love you, too!

Just Say No

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M&M at Krogers (for Halloween): a little better place to run around!

I should have declined. 

When my dad told me that he was bringing Grandma Menkedick and Grandpa Bill up to see my little brother in his first OSU play and that they wanted to have dinner with us prior to the show, I should have said “no.” Not because I dislike my Grandma Menkedick or Grandpa Bill.  In fact, every chance I get, I see them. But because my children display the absolute worst manners ever possible when out at a restaurant. 

My husband has mini-coronary arrests when we are out because he cannot stand the sight of them running around and acting goofy.  I, on the other hand, do not quite get to that level but I do get frustrated and anxious, especially when older guests are eating with us.  Why? Because 9.9 out of 10 of them do not find anything funny about two children running around the table, climbing underneath it, banging their spoons, and winging table scraps at each other.  In fact, they cannot even hide their disdain.  They either stare at them in disgust or they shake their heads and sport those disappointing faces with the mouth turned down and eyelids half-shut. 

Maria and Mario did better tonight than they have in months at other restaurants (may have had to do with Jon and I both lecturing them for the past few days about acting right or taking every privilege from tv to eating away from them!).  Nonetheless, they still didn’t sit still, they still moved chairs and climbed on them, and they still whined about how long the food was taking to arrive at our table. 

Grandma Menkedick just chuckles through it all but I heard her true feelings the other day when I called her.  She went on and on for 10 minutes about my cousin’s children and how well behaved they are when they eat with her.  I joked “and mine aren’t Grandma?”   She sat there in silence probably trying not to scream “Hell No!” and then responded with a slight laugh stating “You just have to keep working with them, Mary.”  Nonetheless, god love her, she did not make any comments while this was going on and she did not engage in any head movements or sighs that would make me even more anxious and irritable.  She is an extraordinary grandma to say the least. 

Grandpa Bill is pretty good, too.  Although, I still get the feeling that he reflects back to his days raising my stepmom and her brother and sisters and thinks “I would never have allowed….”  But, again, he gives slight smiles and sticks in there as the two crazy children climb on me and dump the salt and interrupt every word I say. 

So, again I walked out of the restaurant thinking “no way will I return until the children are 18, if then.”  Of course, I will be back in another week or two with the two of them in tow, meeting grandma or a cousin or a friend, and I will get that anxious and frustrated feeling back as I try to control the two nutballs.  If I was more of a disciplinarian, I would simply put them in the corner or enforce a no tv rule on them but so far I have found that I don’t have it in me.  Nonetheless, I feel the day a comin’ around the corner and when it does, watch out you two – I owe you some!

Not My Garlic Bread!

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Maria eating her pasta

Maria was starving when we got home from school last night.  She opened the freezer and found a frozen spaghetti dinner that also included a slice of garlic bread.  You would have thought the box contained a princess Barbie or gold.  She held it up in the air as if it were magical, and screamed “Mom, can I have this for dinner!” 

Well, before my organic, “my kids would never eat microwaveable food” mothers go nuts, I typically cook spaghetti with wheat noodles and pour on some yummy tomato sauce.  However, I was tired last night.  I had felt nauseous all day and I just wanted to sit down on the couch and rest.  So, it was Maria’s lucky night. 

We popped the dinner in the microwave, and kept the bread out until the dinner cooked.  The entire time the dinner was cooking, Maria kept touching the plastic on the garlic bread and chanting “this bread is going to be so yummy.”  I made some other toast with our wheat bread and slathered butter and garlic salt on it.  I told Maria that this bread would taste just as good.  She knew better.  She has experienced “true” white bread garlic bread smothered in butted and garlic before – at our local pasta shoppe – so there was no tricking her.  One bite of that wheat imposter, and she made it clear that the plastic wrapped garlic bread was her choice. 

The spaghetti finished and the garlic bread went in.  Twenty seconds later, the bread came out.  Maria ogled it.  I broke the bread in half and told Maria she had to split it with Mario.  She protested at first but figured she would get Mario’s half anyway since he eats nothing but Goldfish and suckers.  I took the two pieces of bread to the kids’ Dora table and went back in the kitchen where Maria was putting parmesan cheese on her spaghetti. 

Before I knew it, I heard Mario running into the kitchen and yelling for Cy.  Next thing I knew, Maria was screaming uncontrollably and then sobbing and then darting toward her brother with both arms out ready to strangle his little neck.  I caught her during the choke hold, and pushed her aside.  She ran in the living room like a frantic lost animal. 

“Daddy, Mario fed my garlic bread to Cy!” 
“Maria, it is ok, we can make you some more.”

Still sobbing uncontrollably “No, Dad, that was the only good piece we had and Mario fed it to Cy.”  She threw herself onto the chair and cried and cried and cried.  Mario tried to get near her and she scolded him to get away from her.  “I never want to be your sister again!” 

Pretty harsh words over a piece of garlic bread.  Ahh, but that is our Maria.  She enjoys her food and is willing to give up friendships and even family when it comes down to it.  Mario has bitten her, scratched her, head-butted her, hit her, pulled her hair, and she still gives him hugs and kisses and sings “I love you little brother.”  But last night, he went too far.  He relinquished Maria’s garlic bread to the dog. 

It may take days, even months, for him to win her back over.   I advised him to invest in another piece of garlic bread, and this time, to make sure the dog is no where in sight.  Kroger’s here we come….