Cookie dough and cards

December 24, 2012December 24, 2012Leave a comment

We baked for hours the other night – sugar cookies with bursts of sprinkles and chocolate chips loaded on them, banana bread with crushed nuts spread on top, rice krispy treats, traditional chocolate chip cookies. We had big plans to deliver them to neighbors and friends but only ended up delivering them to two neighbors. Everyone was gone. Darn, more for us and our family.

Ri and I kept devouring the cookie dough so I diverted our attention to the cookie cut-outs. We had big ideas to trace the cut-outs onto construction paper, cut them out, and place them on the dinner plates but we decided to play the Flintstone card game instead. Our hands were tired from rolling dough, right?

We had to teach Mario how to be a gracious loser since he threw a fit every time Maria won. Ri finally lost a game (I think she did it purposefully to appease Mario) and she shook his hand and congratulated him.

His response: “Since I shook her hand, can I still tease her that I won?” Baby steps, I guess…,

Push-ups, anyone?

December 21, 2012December 21, 2012Leave a comment

We had a fitness class taught by Mario last night. He cheerfully ordered us to stand on one leg and then to push our arms above our head and out to the sides. Ri and I had to run around the family room for one minute without stopping. He showed us how to do a handstand and kick our feet out (neither Ri nor I could get that one perfected). All the while, he laughed and thoroughly enjoyed himself. Jon and I pictured him as a fitness trainer, probably fitting in out in California with that blond hair.

Then it was Ri’s turn to play trainer. Watch out folks! She barked out orders and if we so much as stepped the wrong direction, she pointed her finger and demanded a do-over. Where we see Mario in California, we see Ri leading a boot camp.

Balancing act

December 19, 2012December 19, 20121 Comment

I met up with one of my friends this morning. She is pregnant with her second child and feeling stressed about balancing work and family. As soon as we sat down, she lamented: “I feel like I should be able to know everything in my job and be able to do everything at home, and when I don’t or can’t, I get so mad at myself.”

We talked about her particular situation at work and brainstormed about how to manage it. Imagine this: tell people you need help on this particular project because it’s not in your area of expertise. Novel idea for us perfectionists.

We talked about home life. How do we not rip our partners’ heads off when they ask “what’s for dinner?” Another brainstorming session led us to this revolutionary idea: talk to these partners about our stress quotient and ask them to head up dinner for the week. It may be that we are eating Wendy’s and cheese and crackers but there are some weeks that has to happen. Better a little more fats in your diet than a mental breakdown.

Then we talked about kids and our guilty feelings around not spending enough time with them. Revolutionary idea no.2: spend more time with them. Drop the laundry basket and leave the dishes and go sit on the living room floor with a deck of cards. Who cares if the kitchen looks like a madman pummeled through it; do we want our memories ten years from now to be that we had a spotless kitchen or that we had some mean ol’ UNO games together? I’d prefer the latter.

These are topics that I see all over magazines (“Juggle it all in five easy steps!”) and books (“Be a better mom today!”) and websites but they never seem to be put to rest. At times I get irritated with the dialogue – yes, it’s hard to juggle all of these things as a woman but how many conversations do we need to have? But today, while watching my mentee struggle with real dilemmas surrounding work and home, my attitude changed. This dialogue was essential to moving her forward in her job. It was essential for reassuring her that we all struggle with balance. It was essential to remind her what was most important to her at this time of her life. It was essential to reinforce in me how grounding female relationships are and how necessary it is to help one another along. God knows I have had my days and I am positive there will be more to come.

At the end of the conversation, she apologized for complaining the entire time. I made her apologize for apologizing – that’s the last thing she should be doing. I gave her a hug and we both promised to keep talking. And then we whipped out our iPhones to show the latest pictures of our babies.

Taking in the morning

December 17, 2012December 17, 2012Leave a comment

This weather is ridiculous. Close to 60 degrees in mid-December. It makes me think twice about living in California or Colorado where it would be a temperate 70 degrees most days. But in the end, I do like the change in seasons and hope that we will get some sled riding in this Winter.

The kids and I took advantage of the weather with a stroller ride and bike ride to our tried and true Tim Hortons. Ri rode her bike and Mario lounged in the stroller. Ri talked to me about her friend’s mom and how mean she was to her friend. I listened to her as she talked about the things this mom said to her friend. She is definitely much more strict than me (who isn’t?!) but her words do seem rather harsh. Nonetheless, I explained to Ri that every mom is different and there were surely wonderful traits this mom possessed. Ri looked doubtful. She biked a bit longer and then looked over at me and said “I have a great mom.”

Can I please package that up with a bow and bring it out when she’s 15 and hating me?!

Meanwhile, Mario informed us that he knew why he woke up last night unable to breathe. It scared Jon and I half to death. He woke up at 2 am gasping for air and could barely drink water. He was raspy voiced. I would have thought he swallowed something if it wasn’t 2 am. After ten minutes, he fell back to sleep and woke up fine. Mario told us that he woke up and was unable to breathe because the trees in the nearby park had been chopped down recently.

“They cut down all those trees and hurt our environment. Now it’s hard to breathe good.”

There is our little Sierra Club member.

After Tim Hortons, we got a rare treat. A train passed through right in front of our eyes as we walked towards the park. We had passed over the tracks hoping to see it and as soon as we passed over, it came roaring by us. We all sprinted to the tracks to see it right before our eyes (Maria held her sides heaving and smiling and said “my body hasn’t gone that fast ever!).

The park was all ours to enjoy. We ran up and down Wyman Woods hill. We played in the sand volleyball court. M&M climbed the old pine tree to the near top. Mario was so excited because he had never climbed that high before. We climbed the monkey bars.

And all of this before 10 am!

On the way home, we passed a couple jogging. Mario pointed at them and said “they are helping the environment by using their legs and not driving, right mom?” I shook my head yes. Maria was dazing off into space and I didn’t think she heard us until she declared “why run when you can bike? I’m going to bike everywhere because I hate to walk.”

Mario confirmed that Ri could take that route because she was using her own energy to move and that was good for the environment. Ri and I smiled at sweet Mario. Then we passed two newly planted trees and before I could point them out, Mario squealed “new trees, mom! I can breathe better!”

Holding on tight

December 17, 2012Leave a comment

Maria spent the night at a friend’s house last Friday night after the Newtown school shootings had occurred. As Jon updated me about the victims, I wanted to run over to the friend’s house and bring Ri home. I didn’t want her out of my sight. I held onto Mario the entire night. I squeezed his flesh and kissed his forehead and told him I loved him a hundred times over. I received a text from the mother of Ri’s friend. She reported “the girls are watching a movie and eating popcorn; all is good.” I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, and felt a bit lighter than I had five minutes earlier.

Tragedies like the Newtown tragedy force everyone to stop. Freeze. Be silent. Reflect. Pray in whatever manner works for you. Cry. Feel.

I know if I was one of those parents in Newtown whose child had been so senselessly murdered, I would be blind with anger and grief. Screaming at the top of my lungs. I never fully understood the intensity of the bond between parent/child until giving birth to my two, and now I can’t imagine the immense sadness in the loss of your little child. My heart aches for all involved, and I hope that they are able to eventually come to a place of peace and hope. Those darling children and teachers will come back to their parents and their siblings and their families while they sit at dinner. They will bring a smile to their faces. They will be felt when their parents least expect it, and their parents will wrap themselves around their innocence when they most need comfort. I have to believe that to be the case.

When I picked up Maria from her friend’s house, I found her holding her friend’s baby sister, age 2, around the house. “This is my precious baby, mom. I just could eat her up, couldn’t you?” I stared at Ri for a good twenty seconds as she held that baby girl, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

“Mom,” Ri shouted as she waved her hand across my face a few times. “Stop dazing out!”

“Sorry, pumpkin. I was just watching you.”

Ri smiled and placed the baby girl back in her mom’s arms. She gathered up her bags, grabbed my hand, and led me to the front door to head for home. I squeezed her hand in mine and when we got to the car, I picked her up like she was a baby again hugging and kissing all over her head. She laughed and begged “keep holding me, mom!”

Gladly, sweet darlin’.

Like mom, like daughter

December 12, 2012Leave a comment

Last night I allowed Maria to have her friend, Janira over for dinner. I don’t know why I do this on a weeknight after a full day of work and the knowledge that Ri has homework to complete. But I do. While fixing spaghetti for the kids, I chowed down on six peanut butter cookies and what probably amounted to a pound of fudge. I was so hungry I didn’t feel like waiting for real food. Mistake.

I had a sugar headache within a half hour that only worsened with the kids’ screams throughout the house. I did a superb job of hiding my irritation – I even allowed the girls to do my make-up – but when we got back from dropping Janira off I hit my limit. Maria sat next to me writing on the tablecloth rather than doing her homework.

“Ri, don’t be stupid. Stop that!”

“You just called me stupid, mom. That’s just great. You think I’m stupid.”

“That’s not what I said. I said your actions were stupid. You know better than to write on the tablecloth.”

“No, mom. I heard you. I’m stupid.”

“Ri, you are not stupid and I’m not playing this game tonight. Do your homework.”

“Ugh,” she nodded back at me. She noticed my “I’m not happy” look and diverted her eyes from me to her homework.

Within two minutes, she climbed off her chair and wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m sorry for being mean, mom.”

I bear hugged her back and kissed her cheek. I told her I’m just tired and that I’m sorry for using the word “stupid” (we don’t like that word in the house). I continued to write out a check to Kids Club.

Ri scooted back onto her chair and then shot up and started singing “Tis the Season to be Jolly!” I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s the mom I know and love with a big smile on her face! Keep it on there lady!”

Yep, that’s my girl. Always wanting peace and happiness throughout the house just like her mama. I could take a snapshot of me engaging in the same antics a week ago when Ri or Mario was upset. She is my mirror image at times.

Yikes!

Gavels galore

December 12, 2012December 12, 2012Leave a comment

We had our cookie contest on Monday at work. I was so slap happy on Sunday from being laid up in bed sick all week that I decided to bake and join in the contest.

I knew M&M would be on board if it involved baking cookies. I racked my brain over a creative cookie to make and out of nowhere thought of a gavel. An office full of lawyers most of whom have been in front of a judge in the course of their practice, would certainly enjoy them. Maria agreed (after I showed her a picture of one and she realized we’d be able to buy giant marshmallows) and the process began.

I only bought one container of chocolate thinking that would coat 20 huge marshmallows – it coated 5. You can see my ineptitude in baking…. We had to use caramel dip for the rest which looked like thick alien slime.

Maria kept sneaking swipes of the melted chocolate with her finger and Mario kept eating the marshmallows after we dipped them on chocolate. So all in all we ended up with 4 chocolate gavels and 10 caramel ones.

Maria asked if I thought that we’d win the contest and I told her in an I quivering tone, “of course!” I told my colleague this and she immediately went to task creating a Grand Prize certificate for Ri announcing that she won “Most Creative” prize for the gavels. She was smitten when I showed her that evening.

“”I knew we’d win, mom!”

Love her confidence.

Recovery

December 8, 2012December 8, 20121 Comment

This past week can be wiped off the charts and I’d be all the happier. I hated every moment of it. An alien creature made its home in my stomach from Sunday night through Friday night and I haven’t been so miserable in years. The headaches he brought were the worst; I have a newfound appreciation for people suffering from migraines. Five days without children in the house all morning and afternoon, and I couldn’t even watch a movie because my head would explode. Such a shame.

Jon and the kids were great during the ordeal – Jon took them to Tommy’s Pizza (Maria came home and said “I wish you got sick more mom because then we’d get to go to Tommy’s with dad!”) and let them watch nightly episodes of Duck Dynasty.

Maria was my caretaker. She ran upstairs every day after school and asked how I felt. She felt my forehead and made sure I had water. The second day she made me hot tea, bananas and oranges. She made sure the covers were wrapped snug around me.

Mario was my entertainment. He came upstairs at bedtime and ran naked next to the bed saluting me “Good night dear ma’am!” He closed the bathroom door in our bedroom and sang on the toilet. When Jon came up to scoot him out, he meekly opened the door and whispered “hold on a minute, man. I have some girls in here to chat with for a while.” Jon looked at him quizzically.

“They broke through the window, dad. They wanted to talk to me so badly.”

Jon and I and Ri looked at each other and all knew what each of us was thinking “Crazy, crazy Mario.”

After a few more days of Ri’s nurturing, I have finally started to come back to life. As Maria scolded me after I told her to just put me out of my misery the other night “our family never gives up!”

So take that mr. alien!

Simple pleasures

December 3, 2012December 3, 2012Leave a comment

The kids have been begging to see Rise of the Guardians. After a disappointing trip to the zoo on Saturday afternoon (playground closed and hardly any animals out – I guess it is December…), we decided to hit the 7:15 showing. Of course, it was only playing in 3D so we paid $37 for three tickets – insane. Between the tickets and the popcorn, we could have bought groceries for the month. But the kids loved it.

On Sunday morning, we woke up to sheets of rain. Hence, no stroller ride. So we decided to put up the Christmas tree. I brought up my grandma’s tree and the kids and I assembled it to surprise Jon while he was out for coffee. Mario assembled the metal base of the tree from scratch; he figured out how to put the metal feet in the circle and where to place the screws. There may be an engineer in our future…. Meanwhile, Maria perused through the cardboard boxes of ornaments picking out select ones that she remembered creating or that she knew had meaning to us. Jon’s blue ornament from his teacher, the ornament I gave my grandma when I was ten, Mario’s gingerbread ornament from his old daycare. Ms. Sentimental she is.

We blasted Christmas music from the tv and went to town on the tree. I love our time spent decorating the tree. We talk about years’ past, we admire the ornaments that we forgot about it since last year, we laugh, hysterically. We are completely immersed in the process and it is delightful. Jon always hunts down his favorite ornament to place strategically on the tree; Mario places all of his in one big clump; and Ri directs us all on where things should go.

And there you have it. Our darling Christmas tree lighting up our abode. Later in the evening we realized we forgot to place the star on top of the tree. We looked through all of our boxes and finally found it. Mario begged to put it on and Ri agreed, as always. She got to take the picture and tape a video of it though so she was happy.

Simple pleasures.

Compassion and Febreeze

November 30, 2012November 30, 2012Leave a comment

Jon went hunting last night with the hopes of bringing some deer meat home to his family (I’m just hoping for some of Vicki’s meatballs!).

It was just the kids and I and I had to help out a local non-profit with decorating for a gala tonight. So the kids got to head downtown with me and “work” their little butts off. They had a blast doing it. The gala is at the Vault, which I believe is an old bank converted to an event hall. It has a vault in the back of the hall that provided a secret hideaway for M&M. They loved running around the place and hiding from me. But they also provided assistance putting favors in bags and decorating table trees with red ornaments. They thought placing the plastic red cardinals on the tree was the bomb!

They were polite yet animated and the volunteer crew loved them. I love that I can share with them my passion to help others and they enjoy doing the work with me. I hope I am instilling in their little bodies a life-long desire and passion to care for others. With each project, I imagine their souls expanding to make room for all the compassion, empathy and purpose pouring from their little bodies into the work.

But, alas, they are kids and must mix a bit of childish fun along with virtues of compassion and giving. Mario found Febreeze in the ladies bathroom and thoroughly enjoyed spraying its remnants among the four walls of the tiny room. I thought a cheap perfume grenade had exploded when I stepped in to retrieve Mario but his face said it all – no grenade, only Mario orneriness.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Family