Goodbye Maggie

We said goodbye to Maggie last night. She is heading to Florida and then Australia for a long eight weeks (check out her blog at:. An Australian Summer.

Maria couldn’t stop hugging her when she came to Mario’s tee ball practice to say goodbye. Mario even dropped his glove in the dirt to give her a hug goodbye (and he is particular about his glove).

The kids have gotten used to Maggie coming over during the week to do laundry or just say hi. She would engage them in pillow fights one minute and book reading the next. Maria hung on her every word when she talked about her nights’ out with friends looking at her like she was a superstar.

After dinner, Maria asked if we could bike to her apartment one last time. I had developed some pictures for her to take to Australia so we had to deliver them anyway. We headed over and Ri got one final hug from her. As we biked away, Maria began to cry.

I told her that Maggie would be back before she knew it. She gathered herself up enough to say “but what if she decides to stay forever?” I told her that people sometimes move away – Maggie may find a job in Australia or meet someone she really likes.

Her precious response: “But what about her family back here? We love her.”

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My little homebody girl. She certainly adores her family and makes sure they know it. As we approached our house, she asked if we could send Maggie a letter in Australia to remind her we are thinking of her. “And we can tell her something crazy that Mario did – because we know he will do something crazy soon – and that will make her smile if she misses home sometimes.”

What a good soul.

Dad saves the day!

After that entire wrenching conversation about whether tooth fairies are real last night, I forgot to take Maria’s tooth from under her pillow and put money there instead. Nice job, Mary.

Jon and I were getting ready for work and Maria and Mario were sitting on the bed talking about the latest Turtleman episode. Maria shot up out of nowhere and yelled “I forgot to look under my pillow!”

My stomach sank to the basement. “Shit!” I mouthed to Jon. By that time, she had lifted her pillow only to find her tooth still laying there. She looked back at me quizzically and began sobbing. I went into reactive mode.

“Baby, it’s ok. I bet the tooth fairy heard our conversation last night and decided to wait to take your tooth until you really believed in her.”

“But mom, when I closed my eyes last night, I really believed in her. And she didn’t come.”

More sobs from her. More guilt from me.

Jon walked in the room. “Maria, this happened to me when I was little. I didn’t believe in the tooth fairy and she did t take my tooth. But when I began to believe, she came” Maria looked at him to see if he had on his straight face.He did.

She seemed to be turning a corner but then the sobs poured again. I hugged her and told her if she kept believing – even stronger than she did last night – I was sure the tooth fairy would come.

She stopped sobbing but laid in her bed pensive and melancholy. Jon asked her to come to him. I heard him tell her an additional fact: when the tooth fairy finally came to get his tooth the second night, he got even more money than he got with his other teeth.

She walked away with a huge smile on her face. Huge. She walked over to me and reiterated what dad told her. I reaffirmed that dad has told me that story, too so it had to be true. She smiled again and skipped into her room to get ready for horse riding lessons.

Jon saves the day. We are out an additional $5 but our girl has not lost faith in the tooth fairy. Job well done, dad.

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Top Ten reasons I love my man on Father’s Day

10. He s our protector!  There is no one or no thing that will mess wth us when he is near us.  Example: he took me to a Prince concert years ago, got me near the stage to dance, and played bodyguard the entire time to make sure no one messed with me. 

9. He loves family.  He would do anything for family, and always gives his two cents on matters to try to help family members through binds.  He gets so excited on days that we are heading to family gatherings.  Example: when we hosted my cousin’s graduation party, he woke up bright and early and began preparing food and drink with a big ol’ smile on his face.

8. He cracks us up.  I laugh harder with him than I do with any other human being.  And the kids find him hilarious, too.  Example: I have never heard Maria laugh as hard as when she is with Jon.  Her face gets super red, her smile is huge, and her entire body shakes in pleasure. 

7. He is so patient (and I am so not).  He helps me slow down and take a breath and savor a moment here and there.  Example: he makes me calm down and savor the “down time” while we are standing in Kroger’s check-out line and I start to get irritated that other lines are moving faster.

6. He is good-hearted.  If someone is in need – be it family, a friend, or a homeless guy on the street – he will lend an ear to talk with them and help them out.  Example: he saw a homeless man when he was on his way to Target and the homeless man kept talking to him about his life story.  Jon just listened and when the homeless man stopped talking and asked for a little help, Jon handed him $20. 

5. He is generous.  He takes time out of busy days to visit family and friends.  He doesn’t think twice about helping out family members in need, friends down on their luck, or the homeless person on the corner.  Example: when a family member ran into some hard times, Jon approached me and recommended that we give her some money to help her through the rough time.

4. He is STRONG. As many times as we play fight, I ahve never won a match.  He can pick up heavy machinery, mounds of trach, and even a car, I believe.  He hasn’t worked out at a gym since we dated years ago, but his calves and thigs and biceps are still bulging with muscle.  Example: when we go out, people ask him if he’s a football player!  Hot!

3. He is my number one supporter.  When we go out with friends, he always has a story about how I won a race or ran 10 miles or biked up major hills.  I always know he backs me up in all that I do.  Example: when I completed the marathon, he bragged to people that I had barely trained but I finished the marathon.  He believes in me. 

2. He is a superstar husband.  He surprises me with lottery tickets.  He fixes my bike when it breaks.  He massages my legs when I am sore.  He always listens to me when I am dealing with a problem.  He stands by me no matter if he agrees with my decision or not.  He tells me he loves me every day.  He watches the kids while I take a much-needed run.  Example: when I accidentally scheduled an excursion to a pipeline field in Alaska and we stayed in a work trailer for two days of our honeymoon, he didn’t divorce me, and he even laughed about it with me (six months later!).

1.  He is an incredible father.  The kids think he is the most awesome person on this Earth, and when he goes on business trips, they whine every morning that they wish he was home.  He is not shy about telling them that he loves them at least three times a day. He wrestles with Mario and plays Memory with Maria.  He makes sure that they have everything they need.  He spoils them with books and toys.  Example: every night before bed, he makes sure he gives them both uge hugs and kisses and tells them that he loves them.  A true gift from a dad to a child.

One Big Sweat Gland

I am really disliking this heat.  I can’t stand that I walk outside for two minutes and my armpits look like someone poured a glass of water on them.  I can only live in black and white shirts in the summer because I sweat so badly that any other shirt is noticeably drenched. 

My doctor tells me that I sweat so heavily because my body is so efficient in releasing sweat from all the work outs I do.  It almost makes me want to stop working out.  Jon calls me his “one big sweat gland.”  How endearing.  Maria and Mario both back away into the corner when I approach them after being outside and yell “get away, you are too sweaty!” 

I have tried the anti-sweat super deodorants but they don’t do a thing.  My super-sweat overpowers every time.  I guess it could be worse – I could….  Nah, it’s pretty bad.  I hate being frozen every time I walk up to the coffee shop because I have sweated so much that the AC feels like ice crystals on my body. 

All of this leads up to my sweat experience this afternoon. Jon’s niece, Sherri brought her kids over today while she and her hubby went to a charity golf outing.  We decided to go to the pool.  Of course, a normal human being would have loaded the kids in the car and headed to the pool.  But, alas, I have never been normal (thanks dad and mom and Meg).  Maria wanted to ride her bike.  Emi wanted to ride mine.  Eli wanted to ride mine, too, but she is not quite tall enough.  Mario wanted to ride his since Jon fixed the seat and he can actually move pretty quickly.  So, we packed up all the towels and goggles into the stroller and set off with Eli walking with me and the rest of the crew biking. 

Surprisingly, Mario biked the entire way and Eli walked with me the entire way. The soccer camp she went to last week got her in shape (she even ran with me when Mario got too far ahead).  Emi and Maria biked ahead of us – it’s nice having Emi with Maria because she makes her stop at each side street and look both ways – good influence!). 

We stayed at the pool for an hour or so but Mario got tired and cold so we decided to head back sooner than we had planned.  Mario, because he was tired and cold, did not want to ride his bike.  Eli did not want to walk.  Thank god Maria and Emi still wanted to ride their bikes.  So, I put Mario on one side of the double stroller and Eli on the other and threw Mario’s bike over the two of them.  How the stroller tires did not burst, I will never know.  We walked a half mile, which included a hill near the end of our walk that took me ten minutes to climb.  When we reached the house, I looked like I had just jumped into the pool.  Drenched in sweat.  Eli and Emi were speechless; Maria scolded me to take a shower; and Mario told me I needed to stop sweating.  Oh, the love.  Jon just looked at me like I was insane in the membrane. 

“Why didn’t you drive?” he asked as I walked in the house.  Now that would be a way too normal thing to do, and he knew that before even asking me.  His term of “one big sweat gland” for me actually is endearing – he secretly loves it, I know.  Or, I guess it is more accurate to say he secretly endures it because there is no other choice.  My body is efficient, that’s all I gotta say.

Friday Stasis

I did not want to leave the house today. 

I wanted to stay cuddled with Maria on the bed watching Justin Bieber on the Today show and listening to Mario chuckle as he threw his sock at the ceiling fan and witnessed it ricochet across the room. 

I did not want to sit in meetings and make phone calls. 

So, I took my time getting ready for work.  I appeased Mario and watched him throw his sock into the ceiling fan twenty times chasing him to try to be the first to retrieve the far-flung sock.  I stared at Ri mesmerized by the tv showing Justin Bieber singing to the massive NYC crowd.  I took Mario downstairs and made him peanut butter crackers for breakfast (I know all my health-nut friends are disgusted – sorry).  He begged to watch one of his library movies and I agreed since it is a Friday.  Maria came running downstairs and exclaimed “I got $5 from the tooth fairy!”  Man, inflation has shot up the average gift from the Tooth Fairy. 

When David arrived, I took off.  I got to work just in time to get my decaf americano, answer two emails and leave for a 9:30 am meeting.  The day went quickly; I had a YMCA board retreat from 2-5 that I really did not feel like attending.  Not because I don’t like my colleagues on the board or because I had something much more fun to do.  Maybe it was because I knew I would have to engage and talk and I just felt like keeping to myself.  But I find that I get into that loner mode a lot, and I have to force myself to go to something in order to defeat it.  It’s one thing to enjoy my solitude; I think that is a necessity in this life.  It’s another to just not want to converse with people because it will take effort and you might get stuck talking with the guy that you think has an ego the size of Mars.  I think it’s also a necessity in life to make that effort, especially when it relates to a larger goal – here, creating more teamwork and collaboration amongst YMCA board members.  So, I went, and I really enjoyed it.  I talked with people I have never spoken with before and learned that the guy I thought had an ego the size of Mars ran another non-profit that I was really interested in for future volunteer work.  I learned that the YMCA hosted a lot more activities than I knew of – activities that I believed passionately about (teaching inner-city kids how to swim and working towards getting the Y residents more fit through nutrition and exercise). 

I talked with Maria about the retreat when I got home.  She loves the YMCA and has gone to several board meetings with me.  Of course, at this age, it’s all about the food (she loves the home-made mac-n-cheese) and not about the mission.  But she gets it in general because when we pass by a homeless person from time to time, she will say “Mom, maybe he should try to live at the YMCA.” 

After a few minutes with Maria, we rushed Mario to tee-ball.  Grandma and Grandpa Ionno came down to watch him play.  It was picture night, too.  Mario was hilarious with the photographer – he did his cool mac-daddy smile when she posed him and would not open his mouth for a full one.  Patty and Joe got a kick out of watching him in the field – when a kid hit it, all of the kids ran towards the ball no matter where it was hit in the field.  Mario even dove with another kid for the ball at one point and when he got it, he just looked at him with a cocky grin and threw the ball to first.  Competitive can we say?

We hit Bob Evans after the game for some hotcakes and dinner rolls (we all needed to carb up after watching two long innings of tee-ball in 88 degree weather).  Maria was cracking us up as we ate dinner.   Mario went to the bathroom and had been in there for a while.  Jon came back from paying the check and went to see if Mario was ok.  Maria watched Jon pass our table and told him he better go check on Mario because there was no way his dad (her grandpa) was going because he was resting comfortably in his chair!  She is a trip.  

The kids rode their bikes for Grandma and Grandpa when we got home.  We adjusted Mario’s bike seat up a few inches, and it made a heck of a difference.  He sped along with no problem on the sidewalk.  Poor guy just couldn’t get enough power earlier because his knees almost scraped the ground when he peddled.  When Patty and Joe left, Maria strolled Mario up the street with all of her bears in one side of the stroller and Mario in the other.  They flipped the stroller about five houses up the street.  I was busy watering the yard so I did not bolt up the street like I normally would have to make sure everything was ok.  This time I just yelled “Come on guys, get back home!”  I am sure the conservative, cautious family up the street about had a heart attack but hey, it was Friday, and I had reached my limit of crisis.  I had survived a day of work, a tee-ball game, 90 degree weather, and I was ready to chill.  They did manage to get the stroller erect and head home, and we all chilled in the house for the remainder of the night.

Our Prizefighter Girl

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“My tooth is out!” she screeched from our bed
Jon and I ran to our room and
to our delight
She was not teasing this time
that stubborn front tooth
had finally decided to part ways
with Ri’s bright red gums.

She held it tightly
in her bloodied white tissue and
ran downstairs to call her grandmas
“My tooth fell out” we heard
over and over from below
She bursted back into our room
with that toothless grin
and I wrapped her in my arms
not wanting to let go
not wanting to find another tooth gone.

But alas, all times must end
To bring new adventures…
Nonetheless, I will stare at that
lovely little mouth
for as long as I am able
and share in Ri’s excitement when the
next baby white tooth
Falls out.

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Music on the lawn and laughter in the air

The soul is healed by being with children.~English Proverb

I walked in the back door last night and M&M darted through the kitchen to see me. A day full of irritations and squabbles at work evaporated into the evening air as I rolled around on the living room floor tickling them. Just hearing their loud, raucous laughter made the entire day worthwhile.

Jon cooked for the third day in a row! We were treated like royalty eating seasoned grilled pork, corn on the cob and beans. I am loving Jon’s cooking revival – both for the delicious food and for the family time together at the table.

Our after dinner treat landed us at Music on the Lawn at the library. Latin creole music and cupcakes and a cool breeze… it doesn’t get any better. Mario gathered up his change Jon has given him this weekend and placed it tightly in his pocket. He had more than enough to get two cupcakes. When we told him this, he approached Maria, tapped her side, and announced “Ria, I am going to treat you to a cupcake!” Maria turned to him and squeezed her arms around him: “thank you little buddy!” He smiled with pride. Sure enough, as soon as we pulled up to the library, Mario ran to the cupcake table and ordered two of them. He beamed as he took out his change and handed it to the boy scout.

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After eating the cupcakes in five seconds flat, Maria went to the parking lot across the street and rode her bike with her girlfriends. Mario and I went to dance to the music. I sat on the lawn while Mario stood amongst the other kids jumping around the lawn and waving his arms. I love the complete lack of concern and inhibition in him. He just moves to his own beat. He decided the band was so good that he needed to tip them. After the lead singer came down to sing to the kids, Mario tapped his back side and put a dime in his hand. The singer chuckled and thanked him kindly. Mario beamed again.

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We headed over to Maria’s friend’s house and sat with them for a bit after the show. The kids ate popcorn and played on our phones while we chatted about work and exercise and the gardening. On the way home, Maria slowed down her bike so Mario and I could catch up in the stroller.

“Hi, little buddy!” she remarked to Mario.
“Hi Ri!” he replied.
They both smiled at each other and then Maria biked ahead toward the house while Mario and I searched for squirrels in the yards.

Partyin’ with potato salad

Jon took over the kitchen Sunday morning; there was no stopping the man.  When Mario and I got home from our run, we found him hunched over peeling potatoes into a glass bowl.  He had spices out, jars open, and utensils scattered.  It was quite a breath-taking (and rather attractive) sight.  Patty gave him the recipes to her potato salad and her baked beans, and he would not let anyone else see them or work on them.  Once he decides to cook, everyone else must scatter away from his kitchen space.  After tasting his potato salad, I am happy to give him all the space he needs.  He is a heck of a cook.  That is how he wowed me when we were dating – he’d bring me soup while I studied for the bar.

Maria and Mario and I cleaned rooms and the kitchen, and got ready for Gracie to come over.  Maria loves to babysit that girl but Maria is a tough bird.  Gracie does something bad and Maria says “Grace Ann Wells! You should not do that!”  She is everything I am not!  Discipline, structure….  god help her children.  Grace arrived at 1 pm, and yelled “Aunt Mary!”  She was glued to my hip the rest of the day except when she took a two-hour nap in the middle of the afternoon.  Maria read her The Fly Guy before her nap and when we all left the room, she babbled for fifteen minutes and then fell asleep.  That is a foreign occurrence for Jon and me.  We would have to rock M&M to sleep, rub their backs for 20 minutes, lay with them, you name it.  All of those hurdles before any sleep would occur.  And then, 9 times out of ten, they’d be up within a half an hour anyway.  So Grace is a piece of cake. 

While the gals napped, Mario played Ben Ten games on the computer.  He had his Cheez-Its next to his side as he intently concentrated on his next move.  His concentration allowed me to get the house decorated for Maggie Jean’s party.  Of course, I had felt that we had it all under control the night before but then inevitably, the day of, I find myself scrambling to get everything together.  Maggie, our graduate, arrived to the house at 4 pm after sitting in 90 degree heat for four hours.  Julie and Liz were with her – Liz having sat through graduation on Friday in Cincinnati.  We broke out the celebratory beer and chips and dip, and let the party begin!  Maria was instantly mesmerized with Maggie’s friends Sarah and Annie.  Mario acted silly with Maggie’s dad, Denny.  Gracie stayed on my hip the entire afternoon, which I loved.  Liz kept telling me to put her down but I just couldn’t do it.  She was so happy hanging out with me that I had to soak in the love. 

My aunt Terrie and aunt Ann arrived a little later.  They had not seen the house since we bought it.  They each brought me a house-warming gift from Pottery Barn (high-class aunts, I will say…), and gave accolades galore about the house.  So sweet.  I was so excited that they came up to Columbus because I don’t get to see them often.  Terrie is in Marietta, Georgia with her hubby and three boys and Ann is in Washington DC and Dubai with her job and beau.  When I was little, Terrie and Julie used to invite me over to their apartment on the West side of Cincy for sleep overs and I remember listening to slow sappy 70’s love songs on the radio.  Time with them was a treat – hanging with the older girls.  Ann is only a year and a half older than me (the youngest of eight) and I looked up to her like a big sis.  She was into serious heavy rock when she was in high school and I used to just sit in her room and watch her get dressed to go out as she banged her head to Motley Crue.  And now here we all were standing my kitchen as adults.   Life is strange. 

At one point in the evening, we brought out Dairy Queen cake for Maggie.  We were all joking about what to sing to her, what the cake said, etc. and I all of a sudden felt a rush of gratitude and joy for having the day with my aunts and cousins.  I just wanted to lean over the table and smooch ’em all on the lips but I figured that may not have come off as I would have planned so I just smiled at them all and lit the candle for Maggie to blow out.  After cake, Julie and Terrie helped me figure out the weeds versus plants in the garden.  I have a lot of weeds but weeds look like plants to me; in fact, I think I am prone to liking weeds more than plants and flowers.  They are tough cookies – not dying for anything and growing back even stronger than before.  There is something you have to respect in the weed.  But we pulled ’em out nonetheless.  We would have been out there all night if Jon wouldn ‘t have announced that there is poison ivy in the garden.  That blasted Ter and Jul out of the garden and into the bathroom to wash off.  I would have felt like a total heel if they had gotten poison ivy.  

The aunts left a while later – all three of them heading to Starbucks to get a coffee for the road.  Little do they know how much I think of them and appreciate their generosity in traveling up north to see me.  And Julie constantly opening her house to me and the kids when we are in Cincy.  It is a rare gift to receive.  With their departure, we just had Maggie and her friends left at the house.  Maria and Mario were in heaven – Mario danced to I’m Sexy and I Know It and played ball with the boys, and Maria brushed the boys’ hair so that they could “pick up rich girls.” I am sure they were wondering what they had done to deserve a night at our house. 

Everyone hit the road around 9:30 and the kids hit the sack pretty quickly.  I got to watch my HBO show, Girls, and eat the rest of the DQ ice cream cake.  What a great life.

Sunday stroller bliss

Since Maria wouldn’t come home on Saturday night with me (no hard feelings, really – I loved listening to my own music and having an hour and a half of alone time!), I got to take a run with Mario in the stroller on Sunday morning.

I was able to crank out about 4 miles before we headed to Tim Horton’s for Sunday morning donuts. And it was another stroller ride where Mario never asked for the iPad but instead talked with his mama the entire time. Beautiful. We played the animal guessing game for most of the trip. He always guesses pig, frog, and monkey when he is guessing my animal because they are my favorite. He’s getting better about asking actual questions to figure out the contemplated animal after he runs through “mama’s favorite list.” He asks if they live in a jungle or farm, if they have fur, if they are fast. His animals I have to guess about are typically from Wild Kratts and obscure as can be. The honey badger, blue morpho butterfly, scorpion…. He’s so proud when I need help in guessing it.

The Wild Kratts show is a nice little educational tool that Grandma Ionno found. Mario gives me more insight into the animal planet from watching that show than I could find on my own (did you know the orangutan has sore arms from swinging and picks off aloe from trees to massage into his arms? Brilliant (both Mario and the orangutan))!

When we arrive at Tim Horton’s we are greeted by a flock of geese protective of their little ones. Mario jumped out of the stroller and began following them. He knows the wrath of the mama goose if he gets too close so he kept far enough away not to receive her treatment.

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After the donut store we decided to head to the river to collect more rocks. The lack of rain created a rocky bank for Mario to step onto and the amount of mussels and clams amazed us. We could have been on Cape Cod (ok, I exaggerate a tad). We must have played on that bank for 45 minutes and it felt like 10. I love those times with Mario where we just chill – throwing rocks and staring at the water to wait to see a jumping fish. He does good for my need to be more calm.

On our way back to the stroller,a passing runner told us there was a turtle a few 100 feet back on the trail. We were all over it. We found “Cutie” (as Mario named it) off the trail soaked in mud. We caressed its shell but stayed away from its mouth to avoid a possible finger crunch.

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On the way off the trail, we picked a few wildflowers to take home for Maggie’s party. I put them in the seat next to Mario in the stroller and he kept getting irked by the flowers falling on him. I said “flowers, you better stop falling on Mario, do you hear me?!” Mario loved that exchange and began to play the role of the flowers saying “we won’t listen to you” so that I would “have a talk with the flowers” again. This exchange lasted the entire way home.

Pushing away

Maria refuses to come home.  She has been in Cincinnati since Friday morning when Maggie drove her down.  Just six months ago, she would have cried for her mama after one night.  Now, she tells me to stay in Columbus and not come get her.  I can see why – she is getting pedicures and manicures from Aunt Ann, time to babysit Gracie, trips to garage sales with Aunt Julie and Terrie, and attention from her grandma and all of her cousins and other aunts.  Columbus cannot compete.

It is yet another step towards independence just like her desire to ride her bike up the street all by herself.  I remember dreaming about this type of independence when she was two and a half-years old throwing her binky at me one minute and pulling on me to hold her the next.  But now it doesn’t feel quite right.  She seems too young to be moving in this direction.  I want that two and a half-year old back even if I have to take a binky in the forehead. 

Hanging with Maggie for 3 days straight!Ahh, but in thinking harder about it, I guess I don’t.  I guess I just want the affection back, and the desire to take refuge in my arms.  Intellectually, I know that how she is acting is healthy and a sign of confidence.  I remember reading an article a while back that talked about kids’ confidence levels.  A study had shown that kids who feel comfortable holding their ground with their parents (e.g., parent wants to leave but kid says she doesn’t want to leave) are typically more self-confident because their parents have given them the opportunity to not be fearful in standing their ground (now, there obviously comes a point where this self-confidence leads to bratty and obnoxious behavior and I am sure the study went on to find those kids are now occupying positions in Congress).  I think of this study when Maria acts this way to me, and chant in my head “I have made her a self-confident girl…I have made her a self-confident girl….” 

I wonder if I will feel as strongly when Mario begins to push away?  Or is it just a mother/daughter phenomena?  I harbor dreams of Maria changing this world in some way that suits her – I’d love if her suit involves curing cancer, feeding the poor, saving the environment.  But she can’t stay snuggled under her mother’s bosom and achieve any of those aforementioned feats or others.  I have the same dreams for Mario and can only assume, since he is glued to my hip, that I will feel much the same way when he decides to unravel the tie that binds us.  Maybe this process with Ri will lessen the sting a bit with Mario.  Or maybe it will be a different set of feelings that onset with that little guy.  I should have another couple of years before I find that out.