Sitting still

May 3, 2012Leave a comment

Maria and I hung out this evening while Jon and Mario drove to Marion. Prior to their drive to Marion, we made dinner. Actually, I should say, Maria made dinner. She overheard a lady at the salon talking about how she made dinner for her mom starting when she was 6 years old, and that was all it took to get Maria in that mindset.

She poured pancake mix and water into a bowl. She filled a bowl full of chocolate chips and tried to mash them. When that didn’t work, she microwaved them (smart girl). She added the chocolate into the pancake mix. I poured them on the griddle and she flipped them. She also made eggs (she microwaved them). She got out our plates and syrup. She nearly did it all! Another year and I expect chicken parmesan and shrimp scampi…. And the chocolate pancakes were pretty darn good. I could have stood a few chips in them too but overall they hit the spot. Mario ate a few but he was too excited about going to Grandma Ionno’s house.

After dinner, Maria took off with me on her bike. We stopped at her friend’s house to play in the sprinkler (in her clothes) and by the time we left, it was close to 8:15. We cranked it home and I pulled out the lawn mower. I told Maria to grab a book or her markers and come outside while I mowed. A few minutes later, I saw her on the deck with her water and crazy straw. She sat on the deck chair watching me without any book or markers. When I moved to the front, she moved with me sitting on the front step with, still, just her water and straw. I kept waiting for her to grab something from inside or complain about being bored but she didn’t. She just waited for me to finish while sitting patiently and thinking about … well, I have no clue. And that is good. It was her time to be still and mindful. And I was so excited to see her be able to do this, and not be begging for the iPad or leapster or even a book.

Something I have a hard time doing.

But seeing her renewed my challenge to take that itme to be mindful myself. Funny how your children look up to you without having any idea how much you learn from them. And so tonight, I sat at the kitchen table for a whole five minutes before I scanned the computer for the latest news and updates. Hey, it’s better than nothing!

Conquering the bike

April 30, 2012April 30, 2012Leave a comment

Maria has conquered the art of biking!

She is now able to mount the bike by herself and get off the bike by herself. She must have grown a half-inch over the last two months because that was the crux of the problem earlier. She couldn’t quite get her foot down to the ground when she stopped the bike without falling over in a heap. But now when she stops, she is able to get the very top of her foot onto the ground like a ballet dancer’s en pointe and that little move stops her from falling to one side. And she has mastered the balance of putting one foot on a pedal while jumping on her seat and getting the other foot on the other pedal. It is the coolest sight ever!

The babes riding away!

I am so proud of that girl. And she loves to bike up the street alone with me far behind her. She does a great job looking down both sides of the street when she crosses at intersections and she doesn’t have to deal with any crosswalks with lights for a mile (and by that time I have caught up with her – albeit gasping for air).

Mario wants so badly to catch up with her. We took his training wheels off yesterday with the hopes that he would just pick up the art of two-wheeled biking. Wishful thinking. It is so funny how siblings have incredibly different strengths and weaknesses. Maria is so good at biking and rock climbing. Mario, not so much. Mario is so good at baseball and basketball. Maria, not so much. He fretted the entire time we rode and made me bend down to hold the front and back of the bike. My back screamed in pain when we got home (he did massage it for me though!). He wasn’t too proud to ask to put his training wheels back on, thank goodness. I was worried he would not ask because he would think it was a “defeat.”

Maria, forever the cheerleader, immediately zoned in on the potential break-down Mario could have exhibited over the bike. She wrapped her arm around Mario’s neck, and said “Ahh, buddy, you will get the hang of it. You can do anything!” Mario responded “I just want to win!” Maria looked up at me, shook her head and whispered “Oh, Mario, Bo Bario.”

Tuesday ramblings

April 24, 20122 Comments

My mom came up from Cincy tonight with the hope that she could help me figure out what were weeds and what were flowers in my garden, and also see the grandkids on the side. She picked up Maria from school, a treat Maria absolutely loves. If she could have each of her grandparents pick her up everyday of the week, she would be in heaven. When they got home, Maria helped my mom in the garden a bit and then asked her if she could ride her bike to the park. This question floored my mom who expected Maria to ask to watch tv or play a game. They biked down to the park, and Maria gave my mom a mini-stroke when she climbed up her favorite tree to the near top. My mom made her stop way before she typically stops, which majorly irritated Maria. Mario and I arrived soon thereafter. We walked down from the house. I had given him the option to bike but he wanted to race. He set forth the typical prize for winning the race – a chocolate cake. We ran about a block and then he asked me to carry him. As I carried him the six blocks to the park, we talked about the green leaves and why they were green now and brown in the Fall time. He also asked me if he would die, and we talked about how everyone dies eventually. He asked if I would die, and then covered my mouth when I started to answer. He shook his head while holding my mouth and confirmed to me “mom, I know you will die, too, just like me.” Nothing like some light, uplifting conversation with your four-year old on the way to the park.

After the park, we headed to the police station to go to the bathroom, and to say hi to our former neighbor, Kim. Maria biked from the station to Panera. Mario ran most of the way. I love it when they enjoy being outdoors on their own. At Panera, they learned how to make “lemonade” from Grandma Lolo. They squeezed three lemons into their water and added one Splenda. Maria also wanted to add a Sweet-n-low, which made her water taste like something a hummingbird would love. We walked home from Panera with much pomp and circumstance. Maria crossed a street without looking, which prompted a major smack-down from my mom on me. She was completely right; I need to do a better job of making these kids look both ways or stop at the edge of the street. But I still felt irritated. After a few minutes, I realized it was not so much irritation as it was hurt. It’s funny how we, as adults, still look to our parents for moral support and adoration. We still want to impress them with our skills – only it’s parenting skills rather than algebra brilliance.

But I am 40 years old – really, Mar, let it go. In the end, a lot of the hurt has to deal with me realizing that I am letting myself down. I know I need to set more rules and work harder at imposing more boundaries and structure at certain times (like at an intersection!). I am pissed at myself for not working harder at doing just that. So, learn from it and do it better (you all just got a little glimpse of the dialogue raging through my head – lovely, heh?!).

After we worked in the garden a bit more, we decided to treat ourselves to Orange Leaf. A car trip later, we were eating yogurt with oreos and brownies and lucky charms on top. Maria sat slumped in her seat with her sunglasses resting on her head and Mario sat in his seat staring at Shrek and eating pineapple yogurt. My mom looked at me and said matter of factly “Your kids are mod.”

I am still trying to figure out whether she meant “mod” to mean dashing and smart or to mean offbeat. Either way, I will embrace the compliment, which I know she meant it to be. After all, what grandma gets to hang out with a pirate grandson and a granddaughter who engages in questions about past relatives and their spirits.

Riding it out

April 15, 2012Leave a comment

This weekend felt long.

We had Maria’s friend Janira over on Friday night for a play date. Mario got himself all worked up wanting to be near Janira even going so far as to ask for her autograph on his arm. If she didn’t have any self-esteem prior to coming to our house, she sure has it now. Maria gets annoyed and begs Jon and I to keep him away from her. It works for a bit but then he sneaks upstairs to see them. Every once in a while, if he acts like a pet dog or a new-born baby, the girls will allow him to play with them. If he refuses to engage in the act, he is not wanted.

Saturday brought a hectic morning getting Maria ready to go over to Janira’s house for a play date and a movie and getting Mario packed up to spend a few nights with Grandma Ionno. I hit the road at noon to head to Hamilton, Ohio for my cousin’s baby shower. I was praying for sheet cake – I will take on a two-hour drive in the pouring rain with no issue if I know there is sheet cake waiting for me. Alas, no sheet cake but there were cute, yummy cupcakes. And there was good conversation with Meg’s sisters and nieces. There is always a lot to talk about with them since I don’t get to see them much during the year. They are down-to-earth and make me laugh. We have two weddings this Spring for two of the cousins so Maria is in seventh heaven – she loves seeing the gowns and the ceremony and rockin’ it out at the reception.

I got back to the house with only my hubby sitting in it. Strange, yet peaceful. No kids screaming. No pulling at my shirt. No begging to play a game. I actually got quite a few hours to just veg yesterday. I thought a little about work and a little about tasks in the coming week but I spent a lot of time just listening to music and the scenery. Just being. Nice. In the evening, Maria traveled to the horse show with Grandma Meg and Peepaw. She didn’t get home until 11 pm – Jon and I only stayed awake by watching Indiana Jones. When she got home, she had an attack of the giggles. She ignored our demand to sleep in her own bed (we allowed her in our bed because her neck hurt and we both were freaking out she had some strange disease). She laughed at everything Jon said or did. He sneezed, she laughed. He said “goodnight”, she laughed. Finally, Jon stopped talking and we all fell asleep.

We woke up on Sunday morning at 7 am (can our kids ever sleep past 7 especially when they go to bed so late?!). Jon headed to Marietta for a few hours. Ri and I spent the first hour or so of the morning cleaning up her room. We (actually just me!) gathered a lot of clothes for Baby Grace and a lot of toys for Goodwill. After a bit, we both realized we were hungry and jumped in the stroller to head to Bob Evans. It was packed – we got there just a bit late and all of the drunk college kids were strolling in with their hangovers. We turned around and went to McDonald’s for sausage burritos and hash browns. Not quite the same but it filled our bellies.

On the stroller ride home, Maria seemed a little sad. I asked her what was wrong, and she kept telling me nothing. Finally, she admitted that she just wanted a play date with someone. I told her we’d need to clean up a bit before someone came over, and she went into whine mode crying “Mom, what do we need to do?” It got under my skin. I thought what do I need to do to make her more appreciative of what she has and what more do I need to do to make her more willing to do chores. How could I raise a daughter that thought she could just play all the time and not do any work? How did I raise a daughter that was so moody at times?

We stopped at the park before we headed home. As I pushed Maria on the swing for the tenth time, it hit me. I promote this behavior – I just stopped at the park after I told her we needed to go home and clean! I help them clean their rooms after I tell them to clean their rooms themselves! I go everywhere with them and take care of their every concern! Ugh, no wonder she is acting this way. What a dumba–!!!

I sat her down after the swings and talked with her about my irritation. I explained to her my epiphany and how I wanted her to be independent and respectful and driven, and how I had fostered a dependence on me by doing a lot for her instead of having her do it. I explained that I did that out of love for her but that sometimes you need to push someone out on their own in order to show your love. I told her that I was going to do that more and I needed her to work with me. I looked down at her and she looked up at me. Her reply: “Ok.” I am quite sure she was thinking “what a whack job” but she has too big of a heart to say that to me.

We went home and cleaned up some. I also realized how ADD I am when it comes to housework. I clean one thing and start on another but then I get side-tracked on something else. Maria only follows in my footsteps. So, we have another day, another week, another year, to work on it all. We threw down the dirty laundry and biked to pick up Janira and to Orange Leaf for a big ol’ yogurt with cookies and M&M’s sprinkled on top. Much more fun than housework. Then we went home, and the girls created a spa for me. They filled bowls of water with flower petals and “mint” (green leaves from the plants outside) and scented lotions. They got kitchen scrubbers and gels and a brush.

I must admit that they did a half-way decent job. Janira gave a mad foot rub and Maria rubbed my head with hair gel (I looked like a peacock afterwards but who cares when you get your hair pulled!). They were just getting started when big ol’ bumblebees came swarming towards us surely smelling the scented lotions. We made a mad dash inside and closed up the spa. Barbies came next, and when I asked Maria to clean up before we took Janira home, she promptly abided. My girl.

A+ Confident

April 11, 2012Leave a comment

Mario has been hearing us get on Maria about having to do her homework for the last eight months. He usually sits in the other room playing his Ben Ten game or watching a show or jumping off the couch onto the chair and vice versa. I have tried on numerous occasions to try to get him to read a book or draw while Maria is working on her homework. He has always had no desire.

He sees Maria get frustrated at times. She is now at the stage of reading chapter books. Some of the books are so incredibly boring that she brings home that I can totally understand why she detests having to read them. Mix that with the fact that they have harder words in them so she can’t just fly through them like she used to do, and it is even more frustrating. The other night I was making dinner and she was reading one of the chapter books. She had to read eight pages and she had cried about that fact for an entire ten minutes before she finally plunged into it. She wanted to read to herself so I let her. Within a minute, I looked behind her and saw that she had flipped through to the sixth page already. Each page was filled with words. There was no way she had read all of them in a minute. I looked at her. She looked at me. I crinkled my face at her. She crinkled hers back at me. I asked her if she read all six pages. She said yes. I asked her if she read every word in those six pages. She said yes but a little softer this time. She glanced up at me after saying “yes” and then said “Ok, I didn’t read them all.” At least she told the truth. Mario watched the entire exchange, and threw in his comments at the end.

“Maria, you have to do all of your homework.”

Maria rightfully flicked his arm.

I think Mario used to enjoy watching Maria get flustered and enjoy the fact that he did not have to engage in this nightly exercise of homework. But last night, he embraced the idea of homework. Maria was taking a shower and something hit me to tell him that his school sent homework home for him to do just like Maria’s school does for her. He totally bought into it. I brought over one of Maria’s old kindergarten workbooks. We started with an area that he is really good at – sequencing. He looked at three pictures of a boy and he had to determine which action went first, second and third. He got them all right. I gave him a high-five and wrote “A+” on the top of the page. From there, it was all over. His head was the size of Jupiter. I flipped over another page and had him work on the next exercise. He got it right. He wrote his own “A+” on the top of the page. When he got to a page where you had to circle the objects that had a certain vowel in them (e.g., find the “a” words in ball, cow, and ape), he had no clue. But when I tried to explain it to him, and point him in the right direction, he got so angry.

“I know how to do it, Mom!”

When he circled all of them, I let it go and moved onto the next page. However, Maria was not so generous. She had to take the opportunity to point out to Mario that he did not get the answers right.

“Mario, you circled them all and that is not right. You have to try again.”

Mario’s response: flick her in the ear.

He ended up finishing the entire workbook because he refused to stop until all of the pages were completed – right or wrong. Maria left the room after the flicking, and cuddled with her dad on the couch. I remained at the table with Mario watching him proudly circle the answers he believed correct and then watching him mark an “A+” a top every page of the book. He certainly does not lack confidence.

Moral dilemmas over dinner

April 10, 20121 Comment

Jon’s brother, Kevin, posed a juicy moral dilemma situation to all of us as we sat around the kitchen table last night. Now that is the way I could start my evening meal every night.

Kevin came to visit us from out-of-town with his wife, Margie, and their daughter Dagmawit. Kevin’s oldest daughter, Shari, and her family came, too. Mario loves Shari’s grandson, Isaiah, because he is spastic and loves to play fight just like Mario. Maria loves Dagmawit and Shari’s two daughters, Emi and Eli because they play dress up and act silly and love to dance. The kids ran all around the yard and the basement while we sat down and talked over a glass of wine and take-out from Aladdin’s.

Kevin’s question sure got the talking started, and set up an engaging, thoughtful dialogue about all sorts of things. The conversation provided a breath of fresh air, and I enjoyed sitting around with a group of intelligent adults talking about religion and politics and the economy. Jon and I don’t get out enough with friends and family to do that. We get so caught up in the thick of work and homework and baths and laundry that we forget to communicate about the latest social issues and news. I used to have conversations like that all the time when I was younger and I don’t want to lose that engagement in my “old age” or should I say my “parenting age.”

Meanwhile, the girls were dressing up in short dresses and heels and spreading bright pink lipstick on their lips. The boys darted in the room with matching spiderman costumes. They all enjoy each other’s company, and I appreciate that we have a family that gets along so well. Maria was so bummed when they left for the night – she talked about how much fun she had with Dagmawit and Emi and Eli. She reiterated a wish that she has expressed before; to have a sister. When I pressed her about how great Mario was, she finally conceded that she loves him to death but that she would also love to have a sister around the house. When I told her that sisters can get in fights a lot, she says she is used to it because her and Mario fight a lot. She always has a retort. Mario begged to have Isiah over for a play date again. I wish we could borrow Isaiah for two hours every night so Mario could get out all of his energy by wrestling him, and get to bed at a decent hour.

The night ended with a resolution to talk more with Jon about the latest world event and issues to make sure we keep these brains or ours a rollin’ with something other than parenting concerns of who paid the tuition and whether the kids’ school shirt got washed. And god knows there is no dearth of issues to keep us from talking….

Easter extravaganza

April 9, 2012April 9, 20123 Comments

The Easter Bunny is way too prevalent on Easter weekend. The kids participated in three easter egg hunts and got two baskets of goodies. Our tummies are rolling in chocolate and sweet tarts.

The first hunt was in Grandview on Saturday morning. They host it at the local park for kids up to 10 years old. Ri’s been going since she was a baby and Mario, too. It used to have a lot more eggs and a lot fewer people but this year it seemed like there was a ton of folks and a lot fewer eggs. They make up for the fewer eggs with giant packs of Oreos, animal crackers, and Rice Krispy treats. The kids line up at 10 am and by 10:01, the hunt is long over. The kids walk away with packs of Oreos and rice crispy treats and no eggs. We have our stock of treats for the next month. Why do it if this is why we end up with every year? I love my traditions and this is one that I have known since I was little. My grandmas both hid eggs for me at Easter and I loved hunting them down. I loved opening up the plastic eggs even if all I found was a jelly bean. So, my love has been passed down to M&M and they seem to love it, too.

We headed out to my parents’ farm on Saturday morning with Jon’s parents. Patty sat in the very back between Maria and Mario because they fount over who got to sit next to her. She resolved the fight by squeezing herself in between them in the third row seat. Of course, anyone else would be smooshed but she fits right in the small space with her tiny self! Mario cozied up to her as they watched Kenny the Shark (an awesome Discovery Channel find for $1.50 at CVS). Maria helped her put in her earring and tutored her on the features of her iPhone. She kept us all laughing with her commentary, which sounds like it’s out of the mouth of a fifty year old rather than a six-year-old. At one point, Patty asked Maria if she would get the $5 egg at my cousin’s house (each year one egg has a $5 bill in it). Maria said that she would let her cousin get the $5 egg because her cousin was having some rough times and needed it more than she did. God love her old empathetic soul.

The farm provided an awesome time with the wildflowers blooming and the trails awaiting our footsteps. Nothing better than eating a humongous meal of ham, potato salad, macaroni and cheese casserole, and butter ball rolls and then taking a hike through the woods. You start out feeling like you can’t move but by the end of the trek, you can actually take a breath without having to unbutton your pants. And within ten minutes of the hike, you can eat more! Rock-n-roll!

The kids rode the horses – Maria has got the strong thighs for it. She looks like a natural on Taz with those thighs and good posture. Mario looks like a little jockey all tiny and delicate compared to the regal horse. We even found the first toad of the year! Mario and Maria tried to grab it for me but it sensed trouble and hopped in a pipe.

My little bro and I got to hang out a bit, too, which is always a treat. He is twenty-three and trying to get his band more noticed and on the scene. He has been contemplating Toronto and Chicago but has recently decided on sticking with Columbus because Columbus has a decent music scene and it is a heck of a lot cheaper. It’s fascinating to talk to him about his music – it is all so innate in him and he rattles off descriptions of playing notes and feeling the music that I could never experience. His band, Alpine Ghost, kicks out some funky, alternative rock, and I would buy all his CDs in a heartbeat.

On Sunday morning, we woke to two little kids begging to see if the Easter Bunny came to our house. I acted like I was hitting the bathroom and hid eggs outside. They came down to baskets full of jump ropes and silly putty and candy. They scoured through the baskets excited to see all their presents and ready to move onto the eggs outside. That Easter egg hunt only lasted a minute longer than the Grandview one. They found all the eggs in less than 2 minutes. They are like police dogs with drugs – they sniff out those eggs like pros. I purposefully filled their eggs with candy I would not eat so that I would not be tempted to eat it while I filled them. However, I filled them right next to the extra Girl Scout cookies so I went through a box of Thin Mints and a half of a box of Do-Si-Dos. I would have been better off with peanut M&Ms.

Of course, what else to do on Easter morning than head to Tim Horton’s for some Easter donuts?! We strolled down while I read a book to them. Yes, I have gotten quite good at reading to them as I stroll them down the street. After Tim Horton’s, we strolled to the river to get some Easter rocks to paint. We were going to give them to Grandma Lolo and Papa Rod and the Heile gals but only got a few done by the time we had to go because we had to stop by my friend’s house to walk her dog. Maria loved this chore because she keeps talking about how much she wants to train and walk dogs. She is hilarious with dogs, and humans for that matter, when she is in charge. The dog’s name is Charlie, and all I heard from her was a command of “Charlie!” and then a loud clap. She does the same thing with her little cousin Gracie when she “watches” her. When Gracie does something she shouldn’t, Maria yells “Gracie” and smacks her hands together for a loud clap. She does not mess around!

And then we made the drive to Cincy. Mario slept the entire trip while Maria played on my iPad. When we finally arrived, we met Lou, my mom’s new pup. He is a British coon hound and he is a gorgeous thing. So tame and sweet. Maria was in heaven walking him around the house. Mario played with his boy cousins, play fighting them and taunting them. They taunt him back, though, and he gets upset. Cousin Laura made him the cutest shirt in the world – she sewed a fishing rod and fish on a white t-shirt. It is precious and he loved it. She asked him to pose in it for her blog, and he stood on the chair performing every pose possible until she finally had enough. Ask the boy to pose, and he will gladly oblige.

The kids ran around with all of their cousins all night, and begged not to go when 8 pm arrived. Aunt Ann was in town from DC and she is always a hit with Maria. Maria seems fascinated with her probably because she is always dressed in nice clothes and jewelry but she still acts silly. She is that aunt that lives far away and is so exotic to kids but yet so down to earth and fun when she is in town. Maria begged to go back to Julie’s condo with her so we gave in and let her since the condo is on the way to the highway. She was ecstatic. When we picked her up later, I saw her and Ann in the window, and Maria was just staring at her while she spoke. So darling.

The Heile’s fest was a whirlwind as always. Volleyball, Easter egg hunt (Maria and Mario did not get the $5 egg again this year!), DQ cake, hugging, frisbee, basketball, and lots of good-natured yelling (poor Jon!).

We arrived home at 10:45 pm – both Maria and Mario asleep in their car seats. Maria awoke at 7 am crying hysterically about not wanting to go to Kids Club. Twenty-five minutes straight of bawling hysteria. On a Monday morning. Seriously? That was not what I needed to get me off to a good day. But who am I kidding? There was no way that this Monday morning was going to be good anyway. I just spent a week in Florida and two days eating non-stop sugar and hanging with family. Monday was going to be back to reality. So I wanted to cry with Maria when she was throwing down tears but I held it together and acted like all was just peachy keen. And eventually, it was when we were all off of work and school and back in the house again eating chocolate peanut butter cups.

Reminder to Self: Take Vacation

April 7, 2012Leave a comment

Mission accomplished.

We took Naples for a ride this week, specifically the Ritz Carlton in Naples. Yeah, Maria and Mario in the Ritz Carlton. Very scary. We figured we’d be kicked out within 24 hours but surprisingly, I think management was ready to bring us back. Maria and Mario definitely added some life to the place with their unabashed commentary and their hilarious antics. Jon and I had our trepidation about the flights, the hotel, the itinerary day after day. But in the end, the trip could not have been more fantastic. The flights were a piece of cake. Maria is an executive in the making pulling her roller bag behind her with no problem at all. Mario is a hiker in the making throwing his roller bag/backpack onto his shoulders and carrying it through the airport. Jon and I could not stop watching them on the plane. They were so excited to look out the window and watch the plane ascend into the sky. And the amazement of being in the clouds! Jon and I found ourselves laughing every other minute at all of the little comments they made as we flew.

The hotel was decadent. We were on the 12th floor and our balcony provided a good view of the beach (the kids loved going out on the balcony but it freaked me out!). They also loved the bathroom because it had a tv in it. They realized that before Jon and I, and they locked themselves in the room one afternoon and watched Tom and Jerry. We didn’t realize it until we needed to go to the bathroom and after knocking and knocking, Maria opened the door and Mario was on the counter top hunched over with eyes glued on the tv. But other than those few episodes, the kids barely watched any tv on the trip.

The breakfast buffet reminded us of heaven. Pecan rolls, waffles with chocolate chips and whipped cream, omelettes, bacon, fruit loops, eggs benedict. Every morning, the kids would sit back in their chairs and say “this is the life.” Jon and I could not disagree.

We lived at the pool and the beach. Overall, the kids liked the pool better because it was not salty, you could see under the water, and it was less rough. Jon and I would have liked to be on the beach more, but they were pretty good about heading down to the ocean after an hour or so in the pool. Maria enjoyed the ocean more than Mario because she could go out farther in it. She also liked riding the waves. Mario would try to karate chop them as they broke; Maria would just move her body with them bobbing up and down. Our first morning, we went out into the ocean and as we stood in the water, a dolphin swam 50 feet in front of us and then another. We stood in awe – what a way to begin the trip. The pool provided much fun, especially for Mario. He dove to the bottom and swam all over. Jon and I could not believe that he was not fast asleep by 7 pm every night the way that he did cannonballs off the side and swam five feet under the water to touch the bottom. Maria enjoyed resting on the noodles, drifting around the pool. We came up with a game where we named an activity and then we all went under water to act it out. We picked apples from an apple tree, had a tea party, played baseball….

We broke up the morning and afternoon with lunch on the beach or in the pool area. Maria loved the beach restaurant because they served chicken strips, french fries, and a cookie! Jon fell in love with the grouper sandwich and I loved the chicken wrap. All for only $90! Yeah, that is right. Luckily, our package had a credit of $100 a day so the lunch was paid for in the end. If not, I would have had a coronary. It was a treat to have everything right at our fingertips – the pool, the towels, the food, the beach, the sand, the shells. In the evenings, we would head out for dinner to avoid paying $1000 for dinner at the hotel. We hit Buca De Beppo one night, and Mario choked on a piece of mozzarella cheese. Scared us half to death. Jon threw him my way after he hit his back a couple of times and Mario continued to choke. I stuck my finger down his throat and got the cheese out but I was a shaky mess afterwards. Maria did that to me when she was about a year old – we were in Krogers and she choked on a grape. Such a scary few seconds. Ugh! We hit Ruby Tuesday another night with all of the 70+ year olds. That was a trip. We had not been in one of those restaurants for quite some time, and remembered why afterwards.

On Tuesday, we traveled to the Everglades. We saw a slew of alligators off one of the roads recommended by the hotel for alligator sightseeing. The kids rolled down there windows to see them, and Maria kept yelling at Jon not to fall into the water. Mario dared Jon to get out of the car. Quite a difference in the reactions of these two! We took an air boat through mangroves hoping to find some alligators but didn’t see any on that trip. We caught an osprey on our return to the dock, though. After the air boat, we went to the Wooten’s, which we were told was a kids’ museum. It was really an alligator farm. In addition, it housed a turkey, bobcat, tiger, river otter, and turtles. It was a bit disturbing. The kids held a baby alligator, and Maria even kissed it. Mario lifted it up over his head and the caretaker grew concerned when the alligator began squirming (as did I!).

On the way to the farm, Maria had asked whether alligators crossed the road after we saw a sign for jaguar crossing. Jon and I laughed and told her that alligators probably don’t cross the roads. As we pulled out of the farm and traveled up 41, a five foot alligator waddled across the road in front of our car. Jon and I looked at each other and pointed him out to Ri. She proceeded to yell “I told you so! In your face!” Our sweet little 6 year old talking like a 14 year old. While she was yelling that at us, Mario was singing “I’m sexy and I know it” out the window. When we hit a more pedestrian area, he kept repeating “Where is a hot woman? Come to daddy!” Jon and I almost fell out of our seats. Where does he get these crazy sayings? I have never heard Jon talk this way and I don’t think he is bottling it up and going down Grandview Ave. shouting it out so I have no clue where it is from. All we can think is that it is innate in his little brain. God help us. We laughed so hard together in the car that day – it was wonderful.

We played putt-putt on Wednesday in the burning heat. We just had to break up the day at the pool because we were starting to get burnt even though we were lathering up on 50 sunscreen. Of course, it probably wasn’t the smartest move to head to outdoor putt-putt to get away but at least we could cover our shoulders with shirts. That is where we were all getting burnt. I remain the putt-putt queen but Jon gave me a run for my money. Maria and Mario both got two hole-in-ones, thank god. They would switched back and forth getting mad about not getting one when one of them got one.

In the evenings, we would head down to the beach for the sunset. It was cloudy all of the nights except one. That night was amazing. Maria and Jon stood in the water watching the bright red sun descending on the horizon, and Mario and I watched from the beach. It is those moments that rejuvenate me like a shock to the heart. Ahh, so this is what matters to me. Now I remember again. My family, laughter, time away. We all walked back up to the hotel room and as I stared at Maria and Mario ahead of us and Jon by my side I felt such joy and contentment. This is why vacations are needed. Re-start those engines.

We packed it all up on Thursday afternoon and hit the trinket shop to buy souvenirs. The flights home were uneventful. The kids fell straight to sleep on the second flight from Atlanta to Columbus. We arrived at 11:30 pm, and poor Maria had to wake up and walk the entire airport with us since Jon had to carry luggage and I had to carry Mario. She cried during most of the walk but she persevered and walked all the way to the car while sobbing “I just want my bed!” She is a trooper.

Mario woke up in our bed on Friday morning and asked whether it was a dream that he was in an airplane the night before. We chuckled and told him that he had fallen asleep and we carried home to the car and put him in his bed. As I unpacked our clothes, I caught myself wondering the same thing – was it all a dream now that we are back in our “routine?” No way – the sunsets, the pool-time, the beach, the dolphins, the car trips, the time together was all too real and too refreshing to ever be a dream.

Simple pleasures

March 31, 2012Leave a comment

I took the kids to the Gateway Theatre across from my office because they had a morning movie fest. We missed the activities before the movies last time we went so we made sure to get there earlier this time. Maria was quite disappointed due to the overwhelming “baby” activities that they had set up. I couldn’t argue with her. But, they did have a baby alligator and a lizard for kids to see. Mario stared at them both and pounded questions at the caretaker. They also had a tarantula that Mario almost rubbed faces with when the caretaker took it out. All I could picture was that spider’s fangs digging into Mario and I finally grabbed him away. My smart Maria kept her distance.

We got our popcorn and cookie and took our seats at the very top of the theatre. They play a movie short and then a fun local band, Shazbott’s, plays music before the next movie. Mario loves to go to the front of the theatre and dance. Maria is starting to get self-conscious about it all and stayed in her seat the first round. She only came down the next time because I begged her. She stood by me and watched Mario dance. Mario stood by a blond girl who I believe was part of the band. Later he asked for my phone and I saw him taking a ton of pictures of her. Freaky little guy.

While Maria and I watched Mario dance with the other little kids, I noticed a bald guy holding a little black-haired girl dancing around to the music. He looked like someone I knew – I couldn’t think of who so I found myself glancing over at him off and on to try to remember. He continued to dance with the little girl and then a woman came up from behind him and started to use sign language. He spoke back to her in sign. Another lady approached them and the two women began talking. After a few seconds, they started to sign for the guy. They all laughed.

I began to tear up. How ridiculous I kept thinking to myself. Hold it together. You are breaking down over seeing a manspeak in sign with his wife and friend?

Well, that little talk to myself did not work. I continued to be emotional. But there was something so raw about the sight. The beauty of this man unable to hear the music like we hear it but still dancing with his daughter. Laughing with his family.

The audacity of love. The joy of life. It hit me like a truck rolling right over me; embrace this time. Enjoy Mario’s dancing. Appreciate Maria’s laugh. Treasure their kinship.

I am grateful for these moments in life where some gesture or some person wakes you up and allows you to take a deeper look at where you are and what you have and all that is good in life. We walked out of the theatre and over to my work so Maria and Mario could push the elevator buttons and grab a couple of chocolate bars out of my colleague’s candy dish. Simple pleasures.

A Wicked Hat and We’re Ready for the Beach

March 30, 20121 Comment

“Guess what, mom? We have four more days until summer vacation!”

Mario stood in the kitchen on Wednesday morning and gleefully informed me of this fact as he drank his gatorade. He doesn’t quite get the whole “spring break” deal. After we counted down the days again together, he proceeded to talk about what he was expecting to do in Florida.

“I am going to put my goggles on and swim in the ocean and pet a dolphin and a shark and an alligator. I am going to make sure that the shark moves far away so Ria is not scared.”

Always protecting his sis. Maria chimed in on her expectations for Florida:

“I am going to put on my bikini, lay on my beach towel, and get a tan.”

Remind me again that she is 6 and not 16?!

We headed to Target last night to pick up some necessities and a few “fun” items like hats and sunglasses and coloring books. Mario picked out a west-side ball cap with a skull and bones on it at first. I cringed when he picked it up. It was two times too big for him even though it was in the little boys’ section, and thank go for that fact. Remember, Mario hates anything that is big on him – he likes things tight. He quickly discarded the skull cap when he saw it swimming on his head. There was a beach straw hat I had my eye on for him, and I was excited to see him pick it up and try it on. He modeled that hat in the mirror for five whole minutes. Turning from side to side and adjusting the hat in numerous ways. What a ham. He finally turned to Maria and me and commented “This hat is wicked!” Yeah, that is his new term he loves to use.

Maria picked out a princess ball cap at first. I asked her why she would pick a princess cap when she was not into princesses anymore and she just shrugged her shoulders. I know the reason she picked it. It was right by her side on the shelf and she was tired from a long day at school. If she is tired, my girl could care less what she gets. I had to help her pick another hat because I couldn’t bear to see her revert to her princess days. She ended up with a pink ball cap. We grabbed some sunglasses and beach wear. The kids kept pointing to beach towels and sunscreen but I told them we’d stop at a store on our drive to Naples. They were amazed that there would be stores like Target in Florida!

Mario walked around the store with his straw hat on, flipping it off his head when girls approached him and saying “Howdy partner!” When we got to the checkout line, Maria marveled at the woman in front of us with three-inch red heels on her feet. “Mom, you should get a pair of those for Naples.” I asked her “when would I wear them, Ri?” Her response: “to breakfast, of course!”

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Family