This morning brought us:
We headed out of Cincy on Friday night with Cheez-Its, Diet Coke, and apples. We were set for our rush hour drive down I-71. Half-way through the trip, I found a kids size bag of M&M’s in my side pocket so all was good. The kids watched Tom & Jerry and Maria drew pictures as she glanced up at the tv. We burst into my mom’s house in record time; traffic was surprisingly light on the way down. After playing on the treadmill for a few minutes, and eating some Girl Scout cookies, we headed over to Julie’s to pick up Gracie for a park trip. Gracie is about the cutest little thing possible. I venture to say that she may even compare to my munchkins when they were her age. You must want to eat her up. She loves her “Aunt Mary” so I get big hugs and kisses when I come over.
Liz let Gracie come to the park with us while she picked up Laura and they got pizza for dinner. Liz warned me that Gracie would not want to ride int he stroller but I told Liz that Gracie had never seen the “Cadillac” of strollers before. Sure enough, when Gracie saw the BOB, she hopped right in it as comfortable as can be. Maria strolled Mario and Gracie nearly the entire way to the park (she loves playing mom). Maria took control of the climbing wall, as she always does. The girl may just be a professional climber one day. She has amazing upper body strength and she scales up the wall like she’s spidergirl. It is awesome to see. It’s funny how she likes these “untraditional” sports like rock climbing and frisbee while Mario enjoys the more “traditional” sports like baseball and basketball.
The kids tried to find frogs for me in the stream but had no luck. They did get plenty wet though. Maria likes to go off on her own and “think” as she puts it. I keep a distant eye on her but she does enjoy her space. Mario feels like he has to do the same so he announces that he is going off, too, but inevitably within two minutes he is calling for me to show me something. I like how they feel comfortable enough to go out on their own (just as long as they tell me first!).
After the park, Liz and Laura graced us with LaRosa’s pizza. The best pizza ever. We ate at Julie’s house, and Mario ate three pieces of pizza. I almost fainted. He has a little appetite lately. After dinner, the kids went downstairs (Julie’s basement is the play area for the kids and is heaven-sent). Liz and Laura and I got some alone time to talk, which was also heaven-sent. I love their love for family and their respect for who I am. The two of them are a lot more strict in the discipline area and tend to lean more conservative than me, but they have a respect for how I raise M&M, and we have a healthy dose of ribbing with one another on our parenting styles (Laura is like a second parent to my kids and Grace).
We all traveled over to my mom’s for a viewing of “Babies.” My girlfriend had recommended it to me and I was excited to think of watching a movie that wasn’t animated or geared towards four-year-old boys. The movie turned out to be a delight, especially with Liz and Laura’s quips here and there. It is about four babies growing up in different parts of the world – the San Fransisco, rural Mongolia, Tokyo, and Africa. It follows them pre-birth to age 1 or so. The movie does a great job showing the immense differences in the cultures. The only constant is the breast-feeding mother, and the cats. Each house had a cat that provided pleasure in one form or another to the babes. I found myself getting a tad annoyed at the San Fransisco mom. She did a lot of the activities that I did with M&M but putting her up against the other mothers made the things the SF mom did look ridiculous. In one scene, the SF mom was in a class with her baby where they were listening to African music and waving their hands back and forth overhead in a dance-like motion. The baby stands up and makes a bee-line for the door. “That’s right, get out little one,” quipped Laura, and we all laughed. After seeing the African women with their babies sitting in the dirt, with flies swarming around them, with smiles on their faces talking it up amongst each other, it was hard to take seriously the group of five white parents trying to sing African songs with their babies. However, I fully admit that it may be something that I would do with M&M to introduce them to other cultures’ songs. The kids were intrigued with the babies. They enjoyed certain scenes like the African baby eating mud and water from the ground, seeing the Mongolian baby taking a bath with a goat coming up from behind to drink his bath water, observing the Tokyo baby trying to put a toy together and getting upset each time she failed, and watching the American baby take a poop in her diaper (with all of those memorable “poop” faces). They also enjoyed Laura’s and Liz’s comments throughout the film. On the way home to Columbus, Maria and Mario made the same comments while watching the movie in the car. What influences those girls are!
After the movie, we hit the sack. The kids slept on the floor – Mario in a sleeping bag that he thought was awesomely cool and Maria in a regular blanket because she allows Mario to have what he wants. She was actually burning up for some reason so did not want to be stuffed into a sleeping bag. They slept until 7 am, which was a gift to me. By 7:45 am, we were in the stroller heading to Marx Bagels for our bagels and cream cheese. Heaven on earth. Pumpernickel combo toasted burnt with cream cheese. Maria has fallen for the strawberry bagel. Mario eats a small bite of the raisin bagel. After the bagel shop, we hit the pet store and found a floppy frisbee. I was charged after looking at three different places in Columbus. The kids have taken to frisbee but we lost our old floppy one and the plastic one I bought produces much pain when they fail to catch it and it strikes them. Mario wailed the last time we used the plastic one, and now he is gun-shy with the floppy one.
We headed to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in downtown Cincinnati at 11 am. I had been looking forward to the parade for the last few days. In all my years growing up in Cincy, I never hit the parade even though I lived in Clifton and worked downtown for years. Also, the kids had never seen downtown since we always stop at the Blue Ash line. I had big plans to go to Bicentennial Commons and the Riverfront but those were squashed after the long parade.
We partied on Fountain Square for a half hour before the parade, and then found a good
seat on Fifth Street (thanks to Laura pushing us along). The parade brought much excitement, especially when the participants threw candy at us. I scored a green cowboy hat, and Mario scored a fireman’s hat. Maria got mega compliments on her green hair. The kids loved the clown that was part of the parade. He walked out in the middle of the road and dropped his pants. They laughed so hard. We loved the Irish dancers and the bagpipes. But after an hour and half (and hardly any candy), the kids got restless and we took off. We were all exhausted. Laura had to do round two with her girlfriends, and I had to get us home to Columbus. So, it was definitely Energy Shot time and time to head home (only after we took a glance at our mom and mine’s old Clifton house and reminisced about our time living together).
When we got home, Laura surprised Maria with a rockin’ Big Time Rush home-made shirt. It is nothin’ but cool with BTR on the front and ruffles on the bottom. She looks too cute in it. She got it a little muddy later in the day and she freaked out crying that her shirt was dirty (she never does that with any other shirt)! Laura is a sewing machine and has started a blog, Finding Red Fern detailing her escapades. Laura also has stored an inordinate amount of facts in her brain. She has answers to anything – I mean anything. It always amazed me when I was with her the things that she would know. Maria has since picked up on this fact as Laura blurted out random facts during the Babies movie and then gave descriptions of things at the parade that only Laura would know. When we were driving home, Maria questioned me from the back seat: “Why does Laura know so much and my mom doesn’t?” Lovely.
We played frisbee outside of my mom’s condo in the parking lot. Then we played jump rope. My mom bought a jump rope for her exercise kick and the kids became interested. We twirled the rope as they tried to jump. Again, Maria did surprisingly well. Again,it is those random, non-traditional sports that she enjoys. Mario did alright, too, but again, he is much more proficient at picking up a ball and bat. We had to take the dogs for a walk before we left so we dropped by Julie’s to pick them up. Maria always takes Butters because he is heavier and pulls harder. Mario takes Willie because he is a piece of cake to walk and he allows Mario to do anything he wants. M&M love dogs, that is for sure. They are very gentle with them and always patient.
We finished up the day with a bath (and the duckies that the kids remember from times past) so they smelled fresh for the ride home (I almost passed out on the ride down to Cincy because Maria took off her shoes and her feet reeked!). We arrived home to beautiful skies (it had called for rain). We played outside the rest of the night. Maria and Mario built a rock wall for me in the front yard and brought blankets and pillows out in order to be able to lay down. I love that they engage in these activities. Anything outdoors makes me giddy. When it got dark, I laid with them on the blankets and we found stars in the dark blue sky. Not an easy task with the immense amount of clouds. It was idyllic for about 5 seconds and then Mario shot up and jumped on me and acted like a monkey. He could not sit still. We lasted another 10 minutes before we packed it up and moved it inside for nighties and a book.
As I unpacked our clothes (I pack as if I will be gone for a week for an overnight stay), I grinned. Then I smiled, Then I smiled wide. What a jam-packed St. Patrick’s Day full of new adventures and old ones. The kids built a rock garden. We ate bagels and cream cheese. Gracie warmed us up. We saw clowns and bagpipers. Butters and Willie let us walk them. We learned to jump rope. What a wondeful life we have.
Let the bikes roll out.
Let the shorts be worn.
Let the convertibles lose their tops.
It hit 70 degrees today, and life is good.
I could not wait to get off of work and pick up the kids. I retrieved Mario first since he begged me to do so this morning and he is on the way to Maria’s school. He has been discussing Superheros all week, and when I picked him up he had a red cardboard cylinder around his bicep. I asked him what he was wearing.
“It is my superhero power shield. We all got to pick a superhero name and I picked GoldStar. I have lightning that shoots out of my mouth and lasers that shoot out of my eyes.”
Awesome, dude. He says goodbye to his friends and we head to the car. On the way to Maria’s school, we talk about superheros. He loves to talk about Wonder Woman since I loved her so much as a kid. When we get to Maria’s school, he leads me to her classroom. The room is quiet with kids studying until Mario barges in and yells “Ria, mom picked me up first!” He always has to get one up on her and I am surprised she doesn’t just belt him some days. This morning she wanted me to take her to school so badly but Jon had to take her to get to work on time. She cried for me (she was having a “I need mommy” morning) as she walked downstairs. Mario stood at the top of the stairs and yelled to Maria “Mom is taking me to school – not you, Ria.” If she would have thrown her shoe at him, I could not have said much to her. He is a complete stinker.
We left Maria’s school with Maria on my iPad and Mario on my iPhone. We got home and I let them sit on the front steps playing with the electronics while I put things away. It is so refreshing to open the windows and feel the breeze run through the rooms. Fresh air, finally! We got the bikes out to time Mario’s dash up the street and back and to try to help Maria learn how to mount her bike without falling. We cooked sausages. Jon came home and Mario darted down the sidewalk to greet him.
We stood outside and watched the kids play. We admired our work from Sunday – the garden looks half way ready to go and the windows look good with their screens. Walking in the house and smelling the fresh outdoor air is a godsend. And hearing the kids playing outside on the back deck brings gratitude for the upcoming Spring.
Sunday morning began with a kiss on the cheek from Maria as I lay in bad trying to avoid the sun peeking through the blinds. It only got better from there with Mario jumping on me five minutes later and smothering me with kisses. Jon came up from downstairs and goofed around with me and the kids. We all laughed. Life is good.
So why do I still feel catch myself feeling cruddy? I assumed, somehow naively, that I would bounce back from my grandma’s death and be back to normal after the funeral. Grandma would have wanted that. But it’s not worked out that way. Rather, I am having really tough moments along with just feeling plain crummy at times. I guess this is my grief process; I just wish it would hurry on up! But that is typical me – always ready to move on and start the next thing. Maybe Grandma is trying to teach me a lesson even still – slow down, sweet grand-daughter.
And indeed, Sunday was wonderful day.” The kids and I took a stroller ride in the morning to Stauf’s. Maria still gets in the stroller like she is two years old but that is ok with me. The stroller is like other people’s cars. I don’t like to drive anywhere around the neighborhood so the stroller is our mode of transportation. And when we want to get somewhere fast, it is easier for me to load them up and run there then it is to pull the car out, buckle in, and find a parking spot. Jon surprised us at Stauf’s and we ate breakfast together. A simple act and very enjoyable on a Sunday morning.
After Stauf’s, we got haircuts and went to the park. It was beginning to get warm out by that time so we stayed at the park for a while climbing up the slides (yes, we do things backwards) and swinging. Maria and Mario love when I do the “underdog” swing where I hold onto the metal chains of the swing and run underneath it to give an even bigger push. They love it. Pure daredevils. Maria is finally getting the hang of using her feet to swing herself but still hates to have to do it.
After the park, we went to the second-hand bookstore to look for books. We found some that looked promising about a beaver and another about horses. Mario found some Dr. Seuss, and we read four of them before we headed out. I take every opportunity I get to read to him since he usually only wants to play on the computer.
When we got home, we began work in the yard. Maria tried to find a place to hang our chimes and I gathered up dead leaves and branches. Mario sat inside and played on the computer. He is a fanatic. He spends hours playing on the Wild Kratts website trying to win the cheetah game. It is ridiculous the perseverance he has to win that game. Maria laid on the deck while I cut the ornamental grass and talked to me about the flowers we should plant around the house. She also found some baby buds starting to bloom. I love times like those with my daughter.
We eventually got Mario away from the computer and outside. He kicked the soccer ball while Maria tried to perfect her cartwheels. My girl does not have natural athletic ability but she puts her heart and soul into it. Mario, on the other hand, has much natural athletic ability, but gets completely upset if he can’t master a move right away. Jon worked on putting in the screens to our windows. Jon’s parents arrived for the OSU game at 3, and Patty helped us drain all of the beer leftover from winter parties that had been sitting on the deck for months. She should be sainted. The house smelled like a brewery the rest of the day.
We watched some of the game in between windows and yard work. The Buckeyes lost. But we had Ray Ray’s to cheer us up. Nothin’ like some brisket and ribs to brighten up your day. We sat around the dining room table listening to Maria rat out Jon for comments he made about Maria’s friends. Little does Maria know that she is very much like her father and has his same sarcasm and wit. When Jon dishes it out, she dishes it right back. Patty and I laughed so hard at some of her retorts to Jon’s comments. The two of them could put on a show together. After dinner, we finished up the yard work, and called it a day. It was so nice to have Patty and Joe with us for the afternoon just hanging out and chatting and watching the kids. The kids love having their grandparents around them; Mario tries to usurp a lot of their time because he begs for them to watch his every move.
Mario and I took a walk after Patty and Joe left. On the walk back home, it grew darker but it was still pleasant outside (upper 60’s). We could hear the birds chirping and kids playing outside. I felt alive on the one hand but also still so sad about the loss of Grandma. I took a deep breath and exhaled and just let my emotions run through me. I guess there is nothing more to do but let it process… and remember all of the wonderful gifts around me.
“Mom, I am Catwoman and Mario is Batman and you are WOnder Woman. The Joker is following us and we need to escape.”
“Drive the jet faster, mom! We need to get away!”
And that’s how our morning started. I drove the Volvo jet down King Avenue in order to escape the Joker. Catwoman kept an eye out and fixed my lasso while Batman made all sorts of plans for our get-away. We didn’t watch any tv in the car. Beautiful. We arrived at the nursery having escaped all bad guys.
I promised the kids that they could each get a small plant to put in their rooms. I figured that such a gift was a lot healthier than a plastic toy. I had read numerous articles about the attributes of house plants recently and hoped that it would get Maria and Mario jump started on green thumbs (I need all the help I can get with my back yard). Mario spent the first fifteen minutes in the nursery frightening the fish in the pond by trying to reach in and grab their tails. I ignored him for a bit but when the nursery employee kept giving me the evil eye, I told him to stop. Maria played with the nursery kitty – a big ol’ plump tabby cat who let Maria carry her everywhere. I found some pots to re-plant my grandma’s flowers from her wake, and waited for Maria and Mario to pick out their plants. Mario chose a plain green one and Maria chose a green one with white polka dots. They got their pots (Maria, red and Mario, green) and we headed home. They took their plants out of the plastic container and re-planted them in their pots – so proud of doing it themselves. Maria built a little “home” for her plant with a balcony and a hot tub and a bed. Mario placed his on his chest. They do add some life to their rooms.
By the time we finished that adventure, it was starting to warm up outside. I enticed them to head to the woods with me by telling them we may find baby bunnies or eggs in a bird’s nest. Of course, we found no such things but by that time, they enjoyed just running through the woods and climbing rocks. I needed to be outdoors. I have felt stifled for the last week and a half with grandma’s sickness and eventual death. Even though I have gotten outdoors for runs with my sis or walks by myself, I have not been able to enjoy the sunshine and the songs of the birds. My brain constantly wafted into a separate world – blurry and lacking much emotion. I just got by for those days. To actually feel some emotion again and the warm sun on my face was refreshing. And Maria and Mario only added to the day by making me laugh again and again as we walked through the woods and played in the sand volleyball court and the swings.
After my grandma’s funeral earlier this week, a few people approached me to comment about what personality Maria and Mario exhibited. One commented at how they were both so spirited and happy; another commented on how outgoing and engaging they were; another at how confident they acted. It naturally made me proud as their mama but it also made me happy. And as we hiked up a hill full of sticks and mud, making jokes and laughing at one another, I remembered those comments, and felt such an intense moment of joy. These babes of ours are genuinely happy creatures, not scared to take risks and adventures, ready to question ideas they don’t understand, comfortable in their skin, able to laugh at themselves. They take our lives up a notch.
Jon met us at the park and we watched them brave a climb up a huge rock.
We didn’t say a peep. Just stood back and admired the view.
My grandma died on Saturday. She passed. She left us. She moved on. However one wants to characterize it, she is gone. The woman who fed me pringles and coke as we watched the Love Boat. The woman who awed me with her confidence and devotion. The mother who raised my dad. The great-grandma who laughed with my kids as they jumped into her swimming pool. The friend who traveled all over the world. The faithful servant who took meticulous care of her employer’s accounts for 40 years. Gone.
I miss her.
I spent the last days with her. First at the hospital and then at hospice.
I held her hand at the hospital. All night. She let me know that I was a good grand-daughter and she loved me. I kissed her forehead. I shared my favorite memories with her. She smiled. We held hands in silence. And then she looked at the ceiling and whispered “thank you for everything … and now, goodnight.” She closed her eyes. Something out of a movie, I thought. She said her goodbye and will now go peacefully. It did not play out quite that way. She would fall asleep for a minute and then wake up seemingly irritated that she was still in the hospital room. She was ready to go.
The next day, she moved to hospice. My sis stayed with her the first two nights sleeping on the ground in her sleeping bag. My grandma surprised us and ate oatmeal and drank orange juice in the mornings. I stayed with her Friday night and she was clearly not doing as well as she had been doing in days’ past. I held her hand, nonetheless; she had no problem maintaining her grip around my palm as she slept. When my dad arrived in the morning, I was wiped out. Physically and emotionally. Jon and the kids came down Saturday late morning. Maria stood by her side and told her that she loved her. Mario stared at her and said goodbye. Jon sat in the corner thinking of past times with her. We left to take the kids to my aunt’s house. I got a call from my dad not long after our departure.
“She’s passed, Mary.”
“What? How?”
He explained to me that she simply fell asleep and did not wake up. No pomp and circumstance. No fireworks. That is how she was. She did not want anyone to fuss over her. She wanted her independence. She wanted to be the provider for her family. She wanted to reach into her dishwasher and retrieve cookies for her great-grandkids. She wanted to grab a bag of Cheetos from her popcorn tin and give them to me for the ride home. She wanted to have everyone over on Christmas for ham and potatoes. She wanted to love fully and completely.
I surprised myself with my lack of outward emotion at her wake and funeral. I assume I felt like I had to be fairly composed for the kids and the guests. I, after all, am her oldest grand-daughter. I did shed some tears during the mass as the soloist sang “Be Not Afraid”, a song I remember hearing when attending mass with Grandma. Maria and Mario both took their kleenex and wiped under my eyes and my nose. Maria rubbed my back while Mario explained to me that “Grandma was really old” and “you knew she may die, mom. It’s ok. Everyone dies, mom.”
My babies.
Jon wrapped his arm around me after Communion. My sis gave me a huge kiss during Peace. Jon’s mom hugged me tight before Mass. My dad patted my back and told me he loved me as we stared at Grandma’s casket. Meg made sure I was hanging in. Jack smiled at me as we listened to the priest. Meg’s sisters embraced me at the cemetery. My girlfriends smiled at me as I walked up the church aisle. Love floated everywhere those two days. Grandma would have liked that.
Last Tuesday spun by like a wooden top. Jon worked on the house all day with Jason while also trying to take calls for work. I sat on a dozen conference calls and cranked out emails in an attempt to avoid having my colleague overwhelmed while I was out. When I got home, we madly packed our clothes realizing that shorts didn’t have buttons (and of course neither of us can sew) and dresses were torn. Too bad we didn’t look earlier. Oh well, we realized we’d be in our bathing suits most of the time. I packed the kids’ clothes and boots for Grandma Meg’s and Peepaw’s house, and tried to gather some games and toys that both the kids and the grandparents would enjoy. We put the kids to bed at 9 pm, and as I left Maria’s room, I heard her sniffling. When I went back to give her a hug, a full-out bawling session occurred. She begged us not to leave for Cancun. It was awful. We did not expect that type of reaction from her. I rubbed her back and laid with her until her eyes shut. I walked out of her room softly hoping not to wake Mario. When I peered in Mario’s room to ensure he was asleep, I was taken aback when I saw him sitting straight up in his bed wide-eyed staring out at me.
“What’s the matter, pumpkin?”
“I don’t want you to leave me.”
Jon walked in the room and both of us let out a collective sigh. This unexpected emotion from the kids took us both by surprise and we stood there holding Mario between us and rubbing his back. They actually do love us…. We let Mario lay with us and we are sure that we were both out before he fell asleep. When we woke at 4:30 am, Maria got up, too. She cried again for us to stay and it was only when Maggie laid with Maria in our bed that she calmed down. What a way to leave!
We arrived in Cancun at noon to a beaming sun and breaking waves. Heaven. This is our third trip to Cancun – Jon’s company sponsors the trip. We stay in the same hotel each year, and play in the same part of the ocean. We eat at a lot of the same restaurants, and hang out with the same group of friends. As much as that may seem monotonous, it is actually very soothing. We have no concerns about how the hotel will be, whether the beach will be nice, how the food will taste. We know it is always close to perfect. The first couple of years I felt a little overwhelmed with Jon’s friends and their wives. A lot of them know each other well from going to Cancun every year or because they live in the same city. I am a lone goose. But this year, I let go of any concern about not fitting in and just enjoyed myself. And it was the best trip we had in the three years. Jon and I ate incredible food, played like kids in the ocean, snorkeled, drove a speed boat (Jon felt like Crockett in Miami Vice!), sat together on the balcony listening to the waves, and talked uninterrupted! I loved diving in the ocean for sea shells; Jon would stand on the beach with the water hitting his legs waiting for me to bring shells to him. It was a precious gesture on his part. We laughed hard at Jon’s friends’ antics. They are all hilarious in their own right. Phil is from the UK and has a quirky little accent. He is so cool that he could afford to wear white beach shoes and still look good. Dave is from Michigan and he is your down-to-earth, good-natured guy who always has a funny story to tell about his kids or his wife or their adventures. Joe is a slick, suave Michigan guy who is always considerate and making sure that people are having a good time. Their wives definitely make them the men that they are – they are the backbones of their families. Strong, funny, and intelligent, they always welcome me into their group and make me feel at home. Those are the three guys and their wives that we hang out with the most in Cancun but there are others who provide us with much entertainment, also. It’s a good group and the camaraderie and brotherhood amongst the male colleagues is enviable – I wish I had as much fun with my work colleagues as these guys have together.
The resort
I got a killer head and foot massage on our last day at the beach. It was the “Organic Massage” and consisted of a scalp massage, hot towels, face massage, foot massage and hand massage. It ended with a back massage and hot towels on your back and legs. I thought I had died and entered heaven. She poured citrus oils on my hair and spread them on my skin during the massage. I smelled like a lemon when I left. Jon went jet skiing while I got my massage. He didn’t realize that there were 10 foot waves to conquer out in the ocean. He was a hurting puppy when he came back to shore.
We flew home on Sunday and rested for an hour before we headed out East to pick up the kids from Meg and dad. They had a great time on the farm, as always. They rode the horses and played outside. Maria reported to us that Peepaw cut down two trees and “almost killed himself!” She loved telling the story. Mario reported that he almost fell off their horse, Taz but Peepaw caught him. Maria is learning how to ride Taz better and even steered him herself. She wants to take horseback riding lessons so badly, which I have been struggling with since I know nothing about horses. Jon loves the idea because he loves horses.
M&M with their Mexican flutes
I always dreamt that my daughter would play soccer and softball and all of the other sports I loved to play as a girl. I have slowly gotten over my preoccupation with what I think Maria should be and realize I need to let her be who she wants to be. So, horse riding lessons are in her future (of course she picks the most expensive hobby!). When they rode up to meet us, Maria and Mario had huge smiles on their faces. They jumped out of the car and gave us gigantic hugs for minutes long. It was an awesome few minutes. The ride home was just as awesome with them describing their week to us and listening to us about our adventures in Cancun. The evening continued to be great with wrestling and airplane and reading books. We fell asleep with smiles on our faces.
Then Monday morning arrived. Back to the grind. Running around the house trying to get dressed and packed and papers filled out for school. But I took a deep breath as I loaded Maria’s lunchbox in her book bag. I stepped back from the table and stared at M&M and Jon in the hallway putting on their coats. Can I love them anymore? One thing that getting away does for me is reinforce how lucky I am to have such a warm husband and adoring kids. Even if we are at each other’s throats at 8 am on Monday morning.
Party Girl
Maria slept over at her friend’s house last night. Her friend turned seven and had Maria and two other girls over for a birthday party/sleepover. She wrapped her friend’s presents (two barbies) in Christmas paper (I never buy wrapping paper besides Christmas time); signed her card, and found a big party bag to place all of the goodies. These are the times that I think she could make it by herself in her own apartment better than most 20 year olds. When I told her she could call me or dad if she got scared, she looked at me with an exhausted look. “Mom, pleease!” And sure enough, Jon and I never heard a peep from her until we picked her up. She had gotten a manicure, perfume, and made up with her girlfriends.
Meanwhile, Jon and I had chilled with little Mario all night. He wanted to play on my iPhone or ipad all night long. He is completely and totally addicted to all things electronic. He could sit on the floor, legs crossed, head cocked downward to see the screen, and tap on the iPad all day long. He is mesmerized by whatever he is playing. You could call his name ten times and he still doesn’t hear you. Scary stuff. Was I like that when I played PacMan on Atari? He gets away with murder when Maria is gone because Jon and I let him stay up while we watch a show or read. He plays the iPad the entire time. I figure he is in school all week with no electronics so why not let him live it up on the weekends.
Mario and his iPad
In any case, after we make him turn off the electronics, I read to him for at least 20 minutes. He enjoys that time with me, which is good. At least he is not crying for more electronics or covering his ears yelling “I’m not listening!”, which is how he reacts anymore when he gets mad at you (learned behavior from his sister, I believe). And he understands the books we read – he can tell me the main idea of the story every time. So, his fixation with electronics doesn’t concern me… yet.
We picked up Maria from her friend’s house this afternoon and visited our old neighbors, Doris and Kim. We had not visited them since we moved in our new house (we are so bad that way). They always welcome us into their house, and the kids love them. They hung out with Kim outside while we talked to Doris. Kim does anything they want; today she let Maria act like she was driving her car and let Mario toss a ball to Gunther (their dachshund).
As soon as we left and walked in our door, Maria asked “when am I going to Alana’s house” My brother-in-law invited her to spend the night tonight through Monday since they are going to watch Maria on Monday while Jon and I work. Jon and I are chopped liver anymore. The girl likes to get her party on. We packed her up and Jon took her over. She’s gone until Monday.
Mario, meanwhile, loves having his sister gone for a day or two (any longer and he misses her like crazy). He gets Jon and me all to himself. I play baseball with him (he has got an arm on him and can hit pretty good, too). I take him for a bike ride and he is in the lead the entire time (when Maria goes with us, she always gets in the lead). We go to the library and he gets all my attention while he plays his computer games (usually I read to Maria while he plays). We play Wii table tennis and he kicks my butt! We play Hi Ho Cherry-O, and he refuses to stop playing until he wins a game. No, he’s not competitive at all….
Jon and Mario play hunting games on the iPad. Mario yells “Dad, I shot the bear right in the heart!” Jon gives him the rock and then takes a turn. Mario watches in awe. They are hilarious together. I think Mario will be supplying the meat for the family in no time. Meanwhile, Maria will be busy having sleepovers and partying it up til the cows come home.
Mario returned home from Grandma and Grandpa Ionno’s house this evening. He wasn’t in the door for ten minutes before he asked them to go back to their house. I have no doubt that he would be just fine visiting us every other weekend and living day in and day out with Patty and Joe.
He hid from me when I got home from work and only when I faked crying for two minutes did he come out from his hiding place and give me a big ol’ smooch and hug. His arms wrapped around me felt like a piece of heaven. Could I just bottle up that feeling and open it up on those days I feel like jumping out my window?!
But within 30 seconds of giving me a hug, he begged me to wrestle him. That is all he wants to do anymore. Wrestle or box. He could do it all day long. I can last about 15 minutes. Maria joined in after 15 minutes and within 5 minutes, Mario hit Maria in the mouth (truly an accident, I think) and she slapped him the face. The crying and screaming ensued. I wrapped up the WWF and moved us up to the bath where I hoped the warm bath water would calm them down. It did nothing but cause water to be splashed everywhere.
After our bath, we headed downstairs for the most random combination of dinner food possible. Pancakes, hash browns, hot dogs, hot pockets, cottage cheese and cheesy veggies. Just the sound of the combination makes me gag but it wasn’t bad while we were eating it. I grabbed two loads of laundry that needed folding and brought it into the family room to fold while we watched Blues Clues (haven’t watched that show in two years). I didn’t have to say a word to Mario and he dove right in to help me fold. Maria not so much. She draws the line at certain chores and laundry is one of them. She gets away with it for now but another few months and she is in for a rude awakening.
Mario is the most meticulous clothes folder I have met. Even a more amazing feat when you consider that he is four years old. He folds clothes over three or four times and makes sure that there are no edges sticking out before he hands them over to me to put in the pile. It is hilarious. He is going to be one of those people whose closets are in such complete and total order that you wonder how they function in the real world. Then again, I am probably completely off base because I see his closet and floor and they are both a disaster area full of unkept clothes and shoes.
After folding, we drew pictures. Maria drew me a picture of roses and I
drew her a picture of a tree and birds and a swingset. I exhibit the poorest, saddest, drawing ever for a forty-year old. The drawing look identical to drawings I made at age 8. At least my writing is a tad better. Mario drew a picture of a sunflower for Grandma and Grandpa to thank them for having him over this week. It was precious. We missed the little bugger although it was nice for Jon and I to relax together from 9 pm onward. Maria always fell asleep at a normal hour. Here we are tonight as I write this with Mario dancing around the downstairs waving his arms and singing “I’m sexy and I know it!” It is 10:45 pm.
Happy Valentine’s Day To My Precious Babies…
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways….
1. I love the way that you stand at the side of my bed at 7 am waiting for me to open my eyes. I love how you wait only about three seconds before you rub your hand on the side of my face and whisper “Mom, can you come downstairs with us”
2. Mario, I love how excited you are when it is the weekend. I love how you ask the question “Is it a school day?” and when I answer “no”, you smile so wide and we can see joy bursting throughout your tiny body.
3. Maria, I love your empathy for people and things. When we watch a show on animal planet and a poor animal is killed, you feel a deep sense of sadness and ask questions about why the animal couldn’t fend for itself and why the predator had to eat the animal. When you see a person that looks like he is down and out, you want to help him. You ask if I have anything to help him. When I complain about the person in front of me at the grocery who is taking so long, you remind me that she could be having a bad day or have something wrong with her that doesn’t allow her to move as fast as me.
4. I love how you both care so deeply for each other even if you get into fights everyday. You never go to bed mad at each other. I love how you have to give hugs to one another every morning before you leave for school.
5. Maria, I love how you always call Mario your “little buddy.” Mario, I love how you call Maria “Ria.”
6. I love how you yell for dad when you get home from trips with me, and when you hear him, you run to him and give him big ol’ bear hugs.
7. Mario, I love how you have such a passion for hunting like your cousin, Mario and your dad. I love how you enjoy hunting shows, and have learned how to shoot so that you immediately kill your prey and they don’t suffer. I love how understand the circle of life at age 4!
8. Maria, I love how you are so animated and possess a wild, uninhibited spirit that allows you to be yourself no matter where you are and who you are around. I love your raucous laugh and big smile. I love your blue eyes.
9. I love how you both fall asleep in Maria’s bed like two angels in a Raphael painting. Maria’s golden hair swept to the side; Mario’s baby face and red cheeks lighting up the canvas.
10. I love how you appreciate family and enjoy your time with grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins. I love how you beg to hear stories about times when you were little – real stories about how you acted and your first words and what you liked to play with, and who you liked to hold you.
11. Mario, I love how, at age 4, you have mastered the Ipad and the Iphone. I love how you can download an app and within ten minutes, describe the entire premise behind the app to me (i.e., there are dragons and you have to fight off the main dragon because he leads the other dragons….).
12. Maria, I love how, at age 6, you have mastered more than games on the Ipad. I love how you use the video like an amateur cinematographer capturing some hilarious moments in our lives. You have an eye for the camera, my love, and I have a feeling we may be seeing your name on the big screen one day.
13. Mario, I love how you don’t give up, especially when it comes to sports. You will play a Wii game over and over until you have it down. You will swing a bat 100 times until you connect with the ball. You are a perfectionist in more ways than one (your clothes must still sit perfectly on your body before you will start your day), and I have a feeling we will see you on ESPN catching a line drive and making a double play.
14. I love how you take care of one another whether it be nursing the other when he or she gets hurt or it is agreeing to watch a show that one of you is not too fond of watching. I love how protective you are of one another. Maria, you will stand up to anyone that teases your little brother and Mario, you will confront anyone on behalf of your big sis.
15. I love how you sit so close to me when we read books at night. Mario, I love how you snuggle with me on my lap and make a million comments as we read the book. Maria, I love how you let him make those comments without one complaint.
16. I love how you both can throw a frisbee; I see ultimate frisbee in our future!
17. I love the smell of you whether you’ve just taken a bath or haven’t had one in two days.
18. I love how you always think you can wrestle dad and win.
19. I love how you always indulge me and let me take your picture.
20. I love how much joy and wonder you have brought to your dad and me. Our lives were full before we chose to have you but after you were born, our lives filled up in so many different ways that we would have never known of had we chosen not to become parents. You opened our eyes to new way of loving; would we have ever understood how a heart can encompass such a range of emotions for such a little creature? Ache so heavily for your well-being yet burst so happily at the sight of your tiny hands and feet? Watching you grow every single day is a gift; seeing the world from your eyes is a treasure; hearing you express yourselves is fascinating. We believe in you, Maria and Mario, and we love you to the moon and stars and sun and back.
Happy Valentine’s Day 2012!
"MOM!" 