Category: Family

Ahhh, Autumn

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Delicious autumn!  My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.  ~George Eliot

I knew it would be a gorgeous autumn day the moment I stepped onto the sidewalk for my morning run.  The air had the most subtle bite of chill to it – not frigid like the past few mornings and not heavy like hot summer mornings.  Perfect running weather.  The sun had been up for an hour by the time I got out to run and it greeted me with its cheerful self warming my bare legs.  I love this time of year with the beauty of the leaves, the cool temperatures, the smell of fireplaces heating homes, the cheers of people at the football game. 

Maria and Mario greeted me with a resounding “MOM!” when I opened the front door after my run.  Is there anything that makes you feel more loved than the sound of children excited to see you?  Mario grabbed two Berenstein books for me to read and we sat in his room with the blinds up and sun pouring in reading about “Too Many Commercials” and “Camping out with Ghosts.”  I love it when Mario initiates reading because he so rarely wants to do it.  He is not into anything at age 4 except super heros, wrestlers, and fighting.  I make him sit down at times and color or work in his workbook but after five minutes he is bored to death.  Other moms console me and tell me that it does get better but I have my doubts….  Maria is doing really well with her reading lately because I have made it my number one priority to make her read every night.  She is starting to see the fruits of her work when she gets a card and can read a lot of the words or sees me reading the paper and can decipher some of the headline.  Of course, I received two cards for my birthday that had the word “Bitch” in the inside of them (gotta love my friends and family!) and wouldn’t you know that she opened them and pronounced “You are a bitch!” just perfectly!  She immediately sensed that “b–” was a bad word and covered her mouth laughing.  Leave it to my girl to immediately know how to spell and sound out the cuss words.  Taking after her mom. 

After reading, we got on our sweatshirts and went outside to rake the leaves and play soccer.  Maria is so funny – she is the little worker bee as long as it is work she wants to do (never cleaning her room).  She is also the boss directing how things should get done.  As I raked, she announced that I should rake near the trash cans because that needed it more.  She then went into the garage and began moving things around to “places that they should really be.”  When I asked her to help me with bagging the leaves, she looked at the work and decided against it.  

Rather, we took a stroll to the library.  Mario begged to take a family walk so we decided that would be a good spot – four blocks away.  I was so excited to see the kids both ready to take a walk!  I was so excited that I even agreed to skip most of the way with the kids after they begged me to do it.  I felt 10 again.  We dropped Maria off at a friend’s house after the library and headed home to those dreadful leaves.  To my glee, Mario couldn’t stop helping Jon and me.  He loves that type of manual labor.  He raked and raked and raked for me.  I would sweep the raked leaves onto a tarp and we would take it down the drive to drop off the leaves at the curb and start the process again. 

“Mom, we are quite a team, aren’t we?” 

“Yes, doll, we are.”

“Are you proud of me for helping you?”

“I am so proud of you.”

Jon and I could not get over what a machine he was raking those leaves up, and kept stopping  to stare at him in complete awe.  I promised him the park after we raked the leaves – anything to stay outside on this gorgeous Autumn day.  I could just eat it up.

Life is Crazy

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I have been walking around for the past few days a tad melancholy about life: what more can I do to help people in need, what more can I do to get the most out of life, what more can I do at work to make my career more productive?  Why is it that one moment I can feel so positive and ready to take on this world and five minutes later, I feel dejected and pessimistic and apathetic about it all? 

Crazy kids

I always remember a letter my dad wrote to me after I graduated high school.  It consisted of lots of good advise and wise words but what struck me to this day are three words: “Life is crazy.”  He went on to advise that you just have to laugh at all of the craziness and not let it weigh you down because after all, it’s crazy and what else can you do with crazy but roll with it and have a good time.  I pull those words out of my pocket almost every day, especially with M&M who always remind me that my life is crazy, unpredicatable, and sometimes maddening and “rolling with it” is a lot more fun than stressing about it.

And, I have finally come to the realization that it’s good to constantly question where you are and what you are doing in life – it allows for growth and wisdom.  However, I must admit that The Onion article nearly had me convinced to turn a blind eye to my life questions.  After reading it, I was ready to shove those hefty life questions off my shoulder and move onto bigger and better things like what I should wear tomorrow and what color I should dye my hair….!  One clip was particularly insightful:

“Based on the results of their study, researchers have urged individuals not to waste their time trying to find answers to why it’s all such a fucked-up charade, questioning whether it has some higher purpose, or attempting to devise some way to avoid it—such efforts being futile gestures that would only “play right into” the universe’s trap.

‘There appears to be no escaping the feelings of humiliation, emptiness, and despair this barbaric joke exacts on everyone,” said Nobel laureate and professor emeritus of psychology Daniel Kahneman. “However, trial studies show humankind is far better off when we push it all into the back of our heads, try not to think about it, and just trudge mindlessly toward death.'”

But after much thought, I decided to stick with my old man’s advice to roll with life and all of its punches because, after all, life is crazy and you might as well embrace it and have some fun.

Practicing gratitude

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I asked Maria and Mario what they were grateful for while we ate dinner tonight. 

Holding the baby chicks at the farm

Maria: eggs (she had just brought some back from Grandma Meg’s and Peepaw’s farm); little grapes (we had found “baby” sized grapes in the bunch of grapes earlier in the evening); and her grandmas (all three of them!).

Mario: for a wonderful night; mom and dad and Ria and Cy (“I miss him, mom”); my grandmas; and the farm. 

Mom: for the bike ride and for 62 degree weather and for our new home.

I try to ask this question every night in order to reinforce how important it is to recognize all the wonderful people and things around us.  As part of my training to be a culture shaping facilitator at the university, we performed an exercise around gratitude.  We were asked to think about how many times through the day we stressed about something or we wallowed in self-pity because we did not have something or we missed someone or we failed to get something done.  Then we were asked to think about all that we did have – be it a home, significant other, health, car to travel in, clothes, friends, etc.  Most of us realized that when all was said and done a great majority of our life was good.  We had a roof over our head, we were able to travel, we had family who loved us, we had a pet who licked us, we fed ourselves three meals a day (if not more); yet, we realized that we tended to focus  a significant amount of our time and energy on the negative things or people in our lives. 

Hence, the idea of practicing gratitude.  Ever since that training, I have consciously made an effort to push myself to be grateful, especially during the times I see myself heading downhill.  And I figure if I can start M&M praciticing it, they will be experts by age 10. 

And it’s not that hard.  Each day, I find myself tripping over a wealth of things and activities and people for which to be grateful.  Tonight, I was grateful for the chilly fall weather that allowed us to throw on our sweatshirts and bike helmets and take a ride to visit our friends.  I love watching M&M head out on their cycles, laughing and talking the entire way to the destination.  Maria sings songs to herself.  Mario points out each animal and flower he sees on the way.  I love seeing the grin on Maria’s face as she turns a corner all by herself and the excitement in Mario’s voice when he spots a squirrel behind a bush.  I try to allow myself to see the world anew like M&M.  When Mario points to the squirrel, I look at the little critter and wonder if he will find a nut, what tree he will choose to climb, how many brothers and sisters he has at home.  When Maria turns that corner, I remember back to riding my back with Beth Ann, my grade school friend, and how thrilling it was to speed up and down our alley. 

M&M keep me practicing gratitude.  It is hard not to practice it when I have them by my side.  Hopefully, our evening ritual will become embodied in them to where they hit the pillow at night and think about all they have to be grateful for in the day that is about to pass under them.  The stars, the night, a warm blanket, sweet dreams….

Happiness is hanging with a 70’s hippy and an 1800’s pirate

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Happiness is hanging with a 70’s hippy girl and an 1800’s pirate…

We began our Halloween day getting up late and scurrying around trying to get outfits and breakfast and hand-made cards together.  Maria and I jumped in the car at 8:17 and made it to school at 8:20 as the bell rang.  Maria was able to devour a cereal bar in that three-minute period of time, though – my girl can do anything!  Mario drove with dad and got treated to timbits and loads of chocolate at preschool (could that be why he is running around like a mini-tornado at 10 pm?). 

Maria had her 2nd annual Halloween school party where they walk around the perimeter of the school to show off their costumes to the ogling and way-too-excited parents and friends.  I arrived just in time to see Maria walking out of the school and turning down the street.  She looked so happy.  Maria has an infectious laugh and just hearing it once a day keeps the doctor away, I believe.  I heard it as I watched her walk down the street with her girlfriends.  She spotted me soon after I pulled up and held out her hand for me to join the walk (how long will her intense desire to have her mom near her amongst friends last?!).  I walked her around the perimeter of the school taking in the sights of other scary, beautiful, funny, and cute costumed characters.  Maria wore her 70’s hippy outfit well.  She even threw on the John Lennon specs for a bit of the walk.  However, she would not do the peace sign to people as she walked by, which would have sealed the deal.  She gets very self-conscious when eyes are on her.  She is like her dad – she is much better in a small setting versus a larger one.  There was a snow princess in Maria’s class who wore lipstick and eye shadow. Maria commented about her saying “all she cares about are her clothes and make-up – I am not into that.”  Thank god my dear. 

Doris and Kim with the kids

Megan picked Maria and Mario up from school today so I could get a little work done before leaving for Halloween night.  I begged her to give them a bath since Mario’s hair looked as brittle as desert grass.  Thank god for Megan – she cranked out the bath and had them ready to roll when Jon and I got home.  We headed to our old neighbors’ house, Doris and Kim, for dinner.  They made chili and brats for the adults and hot dogs for the kids (Mario took one bite of the hot dog and exclaimed “this is the best hot dog and bun ever!”).  We miss them and their cooking!  Maria finished in record time and got her costume.  She refused to wear her John Lennon spectacles but still sported the total hippy look and would have fit in at Woodstock without a problem.  When we were getting on her costume she asked “were hippies for peace, mom?”  I answered “yes” and she smiled and responded “Good, I want peace, not war.”  John Lennon would have used her as his muse. Mario finished soon after Maria and donned his pirate costume (after taking ten minutes to situate his skull cap). 

The Halloween gang

And we were off.  Into the sprinkles of rain.  Within a block, Maria was cold and wanted to go to her friend, Zach’s house.  We headed over there and met up with Zach the Ghost and his cousins.  We walked a few houses with them but Zach was going way too fast for M&M who took their time at each house.  Both always said “thank you” and Mario added “Have a happy Halloween!”   By the third block, both kids were ready to head back to Doris and Kim’s house.  I could not believe it.  I tried to entice them by telling them we were close to Mrs. Page’s house (Maria’s old teacher who she loves) but even that didn’t work.  I felt shafted!  I specifically had two kids in order to get at least ten pounds of candy each Halloween.  How could they want to come home 25 minutes after they started?  I would always stay out until the very last light turned off at the very last house in the neighborhood.  I would dump out my candy on the family room floor and count every last piece, always making it over 100.  I would go to sleep with a massive belly ache and wake up the morning ready to dive back into the chocolate.  Now that I think back to those experiences more, maybe it’s a good thing that M&M only have a desire to go to 10 houses and gather only enough candy to skim their Halloween bags.  I should celebrate their moderation and ungreedy selves.

Chaos among the troops!

When we got back to Doris and Kim’s house, we dumped their candy (it did not even take up the whole side of the dining room table!) and found pieces that mommy would like, friends would like, and grandparents would like.  Mario went coo-coo for Skittles and Tootsie Rolls and Maria went coo-coo for Snickers.  I took down the Hershey’s bars and Reese Pieces.  Nothing better than hunting for candy and coming back to eat the kill!  We headed over to Zach’s house after eating ourselves silly and engaged in some fun-filled wrestling and madness.  It is always crazy when we head over there because Zach and Maria pick each other up and rough house like two drunk frat boys.  Mario inevitably joins in the mix while they scream at the top of their lungs.  Someone is usually hurt within five minutes, consoled, and then the chaos starts again.  My friend Amy and I become both exasperated and slap-happy with it all – thank god we have each other to get through it! 

After Zach’s, we bundled up and strolled home while I told them stories about Mario playing in the forest and Maria turning into a princess.  They love my stories, which I love to tell, except after a night of non-stop action and chocolate and screaming and insanity.  But a good mom perseveres through it (although I made it home in record strollering time). When we got home, we watched Big Time Rush Halloween together (I read recently that if you let your kids watch tv, you should watch it with them) and I asked them questions about it afterwards.  Maria looked at me in disgust “Mom, this is not school, just let us be kids!”  We turned off the lights and headed upstairs to sleep.  We snuggled under the covers together and fell asleep within 10 minutes, bellies full of chocolate and heads full of Halloween memories.

Roller rinks and haunted ships

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Ten years ago if someone would have told me that ten years from now I will spend your entire day at a roller rink and a 1800’s ship, I would have laughed and told them that they had mistaken me for some other poor woman. 

Fun at the roller rink

The roller rink adventure occurred in the afternoon from 1:30 until 4.  Maria’s friend, Zach, turned 7 and invited Maria (and Mario by default) to the roller rink party.  I think it was a few years too early for such a party – most of the kids had to hold onto their parents with the others braving it on their own but falling on their rears every five seconds.  The birthday boy skated well because he frequents the roller rink with his parents.  He had a great time skating around the circle like a pro.  I guess it’s his b-day party so he should get to choose an activity he loves.  I just worried that some kid would leave the rink with a broken ankle!  Maria and Mario at least gave it a try but after a short period of time, decided to call it quits.  You could see how hard Maria was concentrating on her skates trying to stay balanced but she didn’t have enough time to get into any groove.  There were some brief moments when she held her own but then I’d fell her arm shoot out onto mine and I would catch her before her fall.  Mario tried the regular roller skates for a while and then moved onto the plastic ones.  He did much better on those because they are so cheap that the wheels barely spin.  I think their favorite part of the roller skating experience was hearing Big Time Rush’s song as they stood in the middle of the floor.  Both of them perked up.  Maria sang the words to herself and dazed off into space like she always does (I worry about what she is thinking!).  Mario brought his arms up to his face and did the rap star moves he does so well.  It reminded me of my skating rink days in eighth grade when a Wham! song would play and all of the girls would dream about one day skating with their beau out on the rink.

Pizza and punch came just in time.  These roller rinks are madhouses when there are birthday parties.  They must have had four or five parties going on at one time.  Each party gets two tables and the tables are crunched against one another.  Kids are fighting to get a seat and eat their pizza.  No one is talking to each other; they are too worried about eating their pizza and drinking their red punch. Soon after the devouring of the pizza, the kids rush to the games with their complimentary tokens.  These games are such a rip off – pay 50 cents to win a tootsie roll or cinnamon candy.  I guess they had the same games when I was a kid at Showbiz Pizza but as a parent it now gets on my nerves.  They played at least five rounds of games and scored 20+ tickets but when we went to cash them out, they got to choose from a plastic ring, a tootsie roll or a plastic finger.  You had to have 700 tickets to get a small beanie baby.  Alas, life at the roller rink. 

Leaping stone blocks at the riverfront

We left the rink for the next adventure – Alana’s and Giovanni’s visit.  Jon’s brother and his wife had tickets to the OSU/Wisconsin game and Jon’s mom got sick so they asked me to babysit Saturday afternoon through Sunday morning.  In a strange, warped way, I had been looking forward to it.  I love seeing the kids together, and Alana and Giovanni are sweet kids.  In a normal, sane way, I knew it would be a long night for me (Jon got to head to the game with his long-time friend in from Phoenix).  My strange, warped self triumphed.  We had a really good time together.  We dropped Carrie (Alan’s and Gio’s mom) off at the game and then headed downtown to the riverfront to see the statutes.  Alana cracked me up as she stared at the “skyscrapers” in amazement.  “This looks like New York City, Mary!”

We played on the statues and then went down to the riverfront to see the Santa Maria ship and play in the grass.  A crew worked on the Santa Maria to get it ready for the haunted ship adventure, which started at 7 pm. The kids begged to go on the ship but it was only 5:30.  Again, my warped self thought “you can let them play and run around until 7 pm” and my normal self said “get home and let them play on their own in the warm house.”  My warped self prevailed again.  We played around the ship and walked up the street to see City Hall (and having a burst of OSU pride with an O-H-I-O stance in front of the Hall) until 6:30 when we jumped in the car to head to Wendy’s.  I was thinking a quick in and out but this Wendy’s was probably the slowest I had ever been to taking 21 minutes to get our food to us.  We were all getting irritated but as Alana and Maria said “at least the food was delicious.”  The kids also scored a cool toy – binoculars that had a slit to insert a paper with an animal on it so you could see it up close through the binoculars.  The kids loved them, and I think it is the best toy we have ever gotten from a fast-food joint.  Educational yet fun.  We didn’t get back to the ship until about 7:30 and the line was at least 150 people deep.  Alana was devastated.  So, what does any good Aunt do?  I bribed the ticket people to get me with the next group.  Actually I simply stated that we had been down at the ship earlier and went to get food nut got stuck in line and now the kids were so cold because they weren’t dressed properly and the only way we could stay is if we could get in ASAP.  So, in a nutshell, a very sad pity party story.  But it worked and the generous crew got us on right away.

I was worried about the tour a bit since I did not want Gio and Alana to have nightmares for two weeks – their parents would kill me.  But it was my daughter that was the most freaked out complaining that she would definitely have nightmares after going through that tour.  Mario was oblivious to it all (at one point confronting a scary ghost by taunting “Bring it; I am not scared of you!”).  People shouted at us under blankets, sat up out of coffins, and wore scary masks but Mario barely flinched.  Alana and Gio seemed a little scared but did not want to leave the ship.  Maria was the only one that was ready to bolt.  My sweet girl. 

After the haunted ship, we bought a bag of popcorn to allay our fears and headed home.  The kids played a while downstairs while I hung pictures throughout the house (Maria saw me and exclaimed “Mom, now you feel like its more of your home!”  A day ago she overheard me telling Jon that the house needs pictures in order to make it feel like our home). 

The kids' sleeping quarters in the attic

We got our pjs on at 10 pm and headed up to the attic to prepare their sleeping quarters.  Actually, they headed up to the attic – they would not allow me to participate.  I love how independent they are anymore.  They did a good job spreading the blankets and pillows.  They brought up a ton of animals and books to read.  The only fight occurred over flashlights because there were only three working ones.  After some play time and read time (and wrestling time between Mario and Gio), they asked me to turn off the light.  Amazing.  Everyone was asleep within ten minutes except my boy Mario.  He begged to come downstairs with me to get some food.  I fed him some cheese and crackers and a yogurt drink and he laid down on my lap while I watched the end of the Ohio State game and passed out within five minutes.    

Overall, a fun-filled, raucous time.  I just hope the overnight brings peace and quiet!

Thank god for little brothers

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I woke up to a rainy, grey, chilly morning.  A day made for snuggling with your babies and hubby in bed snoozing for an hour and then waking for a few minutes and then back to the snooze.  But the world continued to shout our names to wake up and greet it and Cy continued to bark our names to let him outside – so we had to pull our bodies out of bed. And get dressed.  Ugh. 

Dude-man and his girlfriend with Maria (happy with her barbie gift!)

I rushed Maria down to school just so we could participate in the Book Fair a half hour before her school started only to find out that there were no early hours for the fair that morning.  I waited with Maria for the first bell to ring and then rushed home to get dressed and ready for work.  As I tried to run from the bedroom to the closet, I tripped over a gym shoe and knocked my head into the door.  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “it’s just gonna be one of those days.”  By the time I got to work, I was ready for chocolate.  I downed a snickers bar and a hot chocolate and started to work on a policy that I had been ignoring.  The phone rang off the hook with questions from clients.  My stomach hurt.  Ugh.

As I stared out the window mad about the day, I heard the ring of the computer telling me I had new mail.  I looked down and saw my brother’s name, jack menkedick, on my screen.  “Dude-man” as my sis and I call him.  Seventeen years my junior, he is a superstar musician and actor and one cool cat.  He had forwarded an article to me from The Onion, A Parenting Study.  It made me roar with laughter for the first time all day.  No more worries about how I am parenting – Maria and Mario are screwed no matter what!   How relieved I am to have found that study and to know that there is no parenting tactic that works any better than another – rock-n-roll!  And how awesome it is to have a little brother that thinks enough to send me an email that he knows will put a smile on my face on a dreary day.

Morning Bliss

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My muchos and me

I thought it would be pouring down rain this morning based on the local meteorologist’s report last night.  I should have known better – how often are they correct!?  I didn’t get to bed until midnight, too, and anymore, I need at least 7 hours of sleep to function properly.  Those two facts combined led me to sleep in until 7:30 with Maria pressed against my back side, hand over my head and Mario pressed against my front side, his warm breath intertwining with mine.  I could have laid there until noon.

The munchballs when they were just babies!

But alas, work and school calls and we must eventually listen.  I smothered them both with kisses and whispered “Do you want to know a secret?”  They know my secrets by now so Maria said “Let me guess, you love us to the moon?”  I laughed and said “No, I do love you to the moon but that’s not my secret.”  Maria cocked her head to the side and said “I know.  You think we are the cutest, sweetest kids.”  That was my secret but I would not admit it.  Maria looked at me funny and said “Oh, I really know now.  You love us so much you could eat us for dinner!”  I proceeded to nibble on both of their arms and they squirmed and giggled.  Then, content with my feed, I took a shower. 

Maria and I strolled to school because it was so pleasant outside.  She talked about how her friends teased her about her name “Menkedick” and how two girlfriends always talked about being “BFFs” and she was not a part of it.  I try so hard to reinforce the craziness of girlhood.  How girls just form cliques without even thinking about it.  How girls can be cruel to try to fit in with someone they think may be cool.  How she needs to just learn to be self-sufficient and not care about what others think about her.  It seems to be working in some way because she doesn’t come home crying and upset like she used to in Kindergarten.  And I can sense an err of confidence when she heads to the school door and other girls don’t run up to her to say “hi.”  She is ok with it and continues on her way.  I like that she talks to me about these concerns and feelings.  I hope it continues eight years from now. 

 

Mario last year with his deranged mom!

When I arrived home from dropping off Maria, Mario watched me from the front window.  I loved the sight of him but knew that it would not be pretty when I walked in the house.  Jon would be aggravated at him for taking so long to get ready and leave the house.  I have it easy with Maria – I drop her off at 8:20 and am done.  Mario takes quite some time, especially if you try to be patient and let him get dressed at his own pace.  So Jon has been getting into work at 9:30.  I could sense his frustration, and like any good team, I agreed to take Mario into school so he could get to work at a decent hour.  Mario begged to watch a show and I still had to get dressed in work clothes.  I let him watch Dino Dan.  He looked at me as I put it on and said “I thought you’d like Dino Dan, mom, because it’s not a killing show.”  Lovely. 

After Dino Dan, I turned off the tv and told him we were taking the bike to school.  He did not have a major meltdown, which was the most wonderful gift he could have given to me.  We hopped on the bike and headed toward the river.  I asked him if he thought we would see “his bird” (a heron) and he opined on whether the river would be too high or it would be too cold this morning or whether his bird had already died.  As he was discussing these thoughts with me, he quickly pointed to my right and yelled “look, mom!”  I looked and did not see anything.  “I just saw a red woodpecker in that tree!”  “Really?” I exclaimed.  He was sure of it.  Definitely a red woodpecker.  Pee-paw would be impressed, he thought. 

We finally arrived at the river, which was high.  I took a look down each bank and did not see any birds.  I told Mario that the river must be too high for them and he sighed.  But then again, out of nowhere he pointed to my left and yelled “My bird!”  I stopped the bike and backtracked to the area confident that his bird was no where in sight.  But, to my surprise, his bird stood on a giant grey rock, still as a palace guard.  Mario and I stared in amazement at his poise.  He must have heard a faint noise from us and without warning, shot off the rock into the air and onto the opposing bank.  He made a screeching pre-historic scream when he shot off the rock, which caused Mario and I to turn to one another in further amazement.  We remained silent as we headed up the trail to school.  Finally Mario broke the silence by stating:

“The bird we saw mom, was a blue pterodactyl.”  “Are you serious, Mario?” I replied.  “Yes, mom, we saw a blue pterodactyl.  I am sure of it.  I saw a blue pterodactyl and a red woodpecker this morning.  I can’t believe it.” 

Heck, maybe he did see a red woodpecker.

Morning bliss….

Happy Birthday Cy!

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Our pup turned 13 today. 

Cy with the kids last year

I remember driving with Jon to the farm in Alexandria, Ohio to look at puppy Chesapeake Bay Retrievers in 1998.  They were all so cute and playful.  But Cy stood out to me.  I still don’t know why in particular.  He was not more cuddly than the others, or more playful, or more distinguishing.  He just felt right to me.  A connection between him and I from the start.  We purchased him and drove him back to his new home in Columbus.  He laid his body on my chest the entire ride home.  My first taste of pure motherly love. 

We did everything together for the first 7 years of his life.  We walked every single day and on the weekends, we ran to the river and Cy got to swim.  I threw sticks to him and he excitedly retrieved them all.  He loved the water and looked like a dog pharaoh sitting chest-high in the water with his reddish-brown fur shining in the sun.  We would run farther down the trail to hit the 6 mile mark and then stop on the way back for another dip in the river.  Once home, I would give him a bath outside in the yard and lather him with love and affection.  We’d lay on the floor together watching tv or reading the paper.  He’d lie his face in my lap and beg me to rub under his chin.  He’d re-position himself to allow me to rub his belly.  We refused to go out some nights because we couldn’t stand the sight of seeing him lonely at the door.  We spoiled him.  He deserved it.

Cy on his 13th b-day!

I remember being pregnant with Maria and thinking “How can I ever love this baby as much as I love Cy?”  When we brought her home from the hospital, we were concerned that Cy would become protective over me and shun Maria.  The first few days we watched his every move with her to make sure that he acted friendly and did not growl or nip.  To our relief, Cy was protective over Maria and watched her every move.  If she began to cry, he trotted into the other room to find us.  He laid next to her when she sat in her bouncy seat.  And he always helped clean her toes with his big wet tongue.  He engaged in the same rituals with Mario after his birth (and Mario tried his patience a lot more by pulling his tail and hitting his head with his favorite toys). 

After Maria’s birth, I still walked Cy a good amount around the neighborhood.  We didn’t get to the river as much as pre-Maria but the walks around the neighborhood provided good exercise.  After Mario came home, there was a lot less time for long walks.  We still managed to get walks around the block several times a day but nothing like the mega runs to the river.  Not too long after Mario started walking, Cy decided he had enough of walking long distances and when we would take him out on his leash, he would not even walk 50 feet without stopping and wrenching his neck back refusing to walk farther.  He would go out back and fetch the stick or run around the house, but he did not want to walk outside.  I respected his wishes but it was difficult to let go of that routine with him. 

The kid crew enjoying the cupcakes!

Within the last year, it has been harder for him to rise in the morning and harder for him to manuever steps.  At our new house, we can only let him out in the front yard because he can’t handle the narrow and greater number of steps out back.  But even though he is having trouble with getting up in the morning and maneuvering steps, he is still the sweetest, gentlest dog ever.  He still nuzzles into your side when you get close to him to pet him.  He still turns on his back to beg for a tummy rub.  He still stares at you with his big brown eyes as if to try to tell you how cool he thinks you are.  He still provides comfort when you walk in the door and see him waiting for you.  I think this quote sums up our relationships with dogs well: “He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”

Giving Cy his b-day lovin'!

The kids and I decided that Cy needed a birthday cake and birthday bones to celebrate his big 13th birthday.  We bought mini cupcakes at Kroger’s (Maria made sure that we got small vanilla cupcakes because Cy can’t eat chocolate and because Cy would get sick with too much sugar).  We invited Maria’s friends over to celebrate.  We lit up four cupcakes (one for each kid to blow out) and put bones in two of them.  We tried to get Cy to wear a b-day hat but he quickly tore it off and chewed it up (after all, it was a princess pink hat).  We sang “Happy Birthday” to him and blew out the candles.  Maria took the time to peel off the wrapper from one of the cupcakes to feed to Cy before she ate her cupcake (Mario just ripped into his without any thought to the b-day dog).  The cupcakes were devoured in record time and Cy ate what crumbs remained on the floor.  Mario fed him the two bones, and the kids ran back upstairs to play fort.  Cy and I sat downstairs together looking at the deep blue sky out the window.  He looked pleased with his birthday treats and birthday lovin’.

Marietta or Bust

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The fearless foursome on the bridge

Jon and I have not spent a weekend together in our new home.  I was in Italy for the first two weekends and Jon was in Colorado for the third and what was supposed to be the fourth.  However, he is such a good shot that he got his elk early and decided to head back on Wednesday so that he arrived back at the house on late Friday night.  The original plan was that he would arrive home on Saturday late afternoon.  Based on that plan, I had agreed to go to Marietta with Jon’s mom and dad, Maria and Mario, and Maria’s and Mario’s cousins, Alana and Giovanni.  Patty and I are very similar in nature – we both talk a lot, are boisterous, and enjoy taking too much on!  So, when Patty found out that Marietta had a Zombie Night on Saturday night, she figured why not round up the kids, go to the event and spend the night at a hotel.  I liked the idea right away. 

Of course, Jon got home on Friday night, which put a little damper in the plans since he was hoping to have us home with him for the weekend but I think he quickly got over any melancholy with the thought of having the house to himself for 24 hours.  Patty arrived at the house around 11 am on Saturday and after shuffling kids and clothes and stuffed animals around, we were headed East to Marietta, Ohio where Patty grew up along the Ohio River.  We arrived to the hotel after two and a half hours of Tom & Jerry and “the word game” where I give the girls a word and they need to write it in a sentence.  Alana loved the game so much – she would craft a sentence quickly and then patiently wait for Maria and when they both recited their sentence, she would immediately beg for another word.  Maria, on the other hand, played the game four or five times, and then finally said “Mom, you are acting like we are in school!”  The girl needs her down time. 

The upcoming cast of Jersey Shore II

The girls decided they wanted to sleep with me and the boys would sleep with Patty and Joe.  We threw our clothes in the rooms and decided it was time for a swim.  I love seeing the kids’ faces light up when you tell them that we can go swimming.  Swimming in a hotel pool is like heaven for them and they get so excited and slap-happy whenever they know they are able to go.  The only downside with this pool was that it did not have a hot tub for Mario.  I was glad of this fact because I do not like him going in them (I know kids should not be in really hot ones – we have had mild ones in the past) and if I was not around, he would want to sit in one for an hour.  Luckily, this hotel had a fairly warm pool so Mario was not purple when he came out.  Patty and Joe went to Patty’s sister’s house to start the food while I took the kids to the pool.  Mild chaos in the pool area but nothing I can’t handle; I don’t know how parents have four kids willingly though.  I played around with the kids for a while and then let them play together (I am really trying to get Maria and Mario to play by themselves or with each other and not rely on me).  Mario is so funny in the water – he goes like a madman swimming and splashing and jumping – and then he just completely peters out and wants to leave right away.  The others just play around, lounge on the side, splash a bit, and could stay there all day.

Dancing with a young zombie

After the pool, we headed over to Patty’s sisters’ house, Aunt Mae (Mario loves Aunt Mae because that is the name of Peter Parker’s aunt).  She lives right on the river and her house also ended up being the center stage for the zombie contest.  The stage set up right outside of her house so we got to see zombies parading the street all night long.  Patty and I were not sure whether the kids had to dress as zombies or whether they could enter the contest in their other costumes since we had never experienced a zombie fest before but it ends up they would have looked very out-of-place as an angel, a groovy 70s girl, a pirate and a transformer (unless they would have put fake blood all over them and tore their clothes up).  Everyone dressed up in some zombie fashion.  Alana begged to put fake blood on her and ragged clothes.  Patty drew red lipstick on all of their faces but we could not find any old clothes that fit.  Maria immediately asked to have the lipstick taken off. “It looks really dumb, mom.”  When Alana started dragging her foot down the street and tucking her arm into her shirt in order to look more like a zombie, Maria rolled her eyes at me and whispered “we look dumb trying to act like zombies when we don’t have real costumes.”  That is a huge difference between Maria and Alana: Alana very much acts like a 6-year-old girl – playful and silly whereas Maria very much acts like a 40-year-old executive woman – serious and direct.  

The claw woman

Dinner reminded me of my Grandma Heile’s house.  We had pulled beef, cole slaw, baked beans, green beans and cookies. People also brought chips and brownies and cupcakes.  This is a very bad scenario for Maria and me. We both like to graze at these “buffet” like events.  And graze Maria did.  She ate two meatball sandwiches, beef, baked beans, chips, cookies and cupcakes.  By 7:30 she was complaining of a hurt tummy and asking to lay down.  She was knocked out at 8 pm.  I took the remaining crew out to the stage to dance to lots of 80’s music.  They were hysterical dancing.  Mario acted like he had a microphone in his hand and he sang made-up words to the songs.  Alana danced like she was on Dancing with the Stars, and Giovanni went from one side of the stage to the next hopping and bouncing.  They loved looking at all of the costumes.  There was one girl who had claws for hands with really long fingernails.  THey intrigued Mario who kept swearing to me that they were her real hands.  I should have known when he had me look at her for the tenth time that he would have nightmares about them that night….

We finally called it a night at 9:30 pm and left for the hotel.  Maria never quite got out of her slumber and Mario was pretty tired when we got into bed (Alana was going to sleep with us but decided last-minute she couldn’t bear to be without Grandma).  We watched one show and fell asleep for about an hour before Maria woke up with a belly ache and Mario woke up with the claws in his head.  It was a restless night.  But the morning brought a buffet breakfast downstairs in the hotel and we got our energy back in us for another round of swimming (Maria and I paced ourselves with a half of a waffle, cereal, and hash browns). 

The crew with grandma and grandpa

This swimming episode was a little more chaotic because I got under water with them, threw them, and let them play “beauty shop” with my hair (much pulling and water splashing).  But, what our trips for if not to hear the laughter of children happy to be able to do whatever they want to the adult in the water?!  We swam for nearly an hour and half and then forced ourselves out to get showers and head back to Mae’s.  It was a splendid day outside at 64 degrees and the leaves changing colors to vibrant reds and yellows and oranges.  The kids and I did another walk over the bridge to the other side of the river and got sticks to pretend we were fishing off the dock (we had taken a walk on Saturday, too, which was so wonderful up until the time that Mario looked at me with that “I just pooped” look on his face and we had to do an emergency throw away of his undies as well as a poop under the bridge).  The kids found a platform to climb, also, and they acted out a play about a girl who wants a car and her mom refuses to get her one.  Hilarious. 

Cheesing it up on their platform

We hit the road back to Columbus around 3 pm – close to four hours after I thought we would take off.  But it was well worth it between the zombies, hanging out with family we rarely see, watching the kids enjoy the hotel and the pool, spending time with Patty and maybe best of all, taking in the beauty of Marietta’s changing leaves and old bridges and wide river.  I felt ready to move and walk and hike with the gorgeous outdoors.  When we got home tonight, Mario begged me to sleep with him.  I gave in and rubber his back and Maria’s legs for a while.  At one point, I mentioned that I wished we were back in Marietta.  Mario shot up and said “Why, mom?”  I answered that I liked waking up to no schedule, seeing the river, hanging out with grandma and grandpa and all of the kids.  He looked at me quizzically and then responded “But why would you like Marietta – there aren’t any pigs or baby monkies?”  He knows those are my favorite animals but to put those two together cracked me and Maria up.  A good way to end the weekend.

Costume shopping and pet store browsing

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We hit the Halloween costume shop last Wednesday night but only after stepping into Petland to greet the hamsters and puppies and kitties.  The kids have been begging to go to Petland for a month.  It is like a petting zoo because the animals are kept in cages that are easily accessible to children.  Maria can open the kitten cage and hold any kitten she desires and Mario can stand on a step-ladder and “play” with the hamsters (poor hamsters may not consider it “play!”).  

Maria steered right for the kittens as she always does.  There were not many in the cage and the one she picked up was not enjoying being held.  So, she headed to the puppies.  She immediately noticed a white Eskimo puppy and asked to hold him.  The puppy snuggled up against Maria’s mid-section like Maria was his mama, and only lifted his head when someone spoke to Maria as if to tell the person to bug off.  I am a sucker for kids with baby animals and I wanted to purchase the darling pup at that moment.  If raising a puppy was as easy as feeding him and snuggling with him, he’d be with us now.  But I remember those nights of getting up at 2 am, 4 am, 6 am to let the pup out.  Hearing the pup cry at night.  Picking up the “accidents” on the floor.  I think I’d be asking for a nervous breakdown if I took that challenge on at this point.  Of course, the only thing in Maria’s mind is holding and playing with the sweet little pup.  She wanted him so badly and was promising to do every chore possible to have him.  She cried big heavy tears when I told her that we could not buy him (he was also $1590 – holy smokes!).  She eventually released the puppy after giving him a big kiss and was completely heartbroken.  Mario discoed on the sidewalk and made funny faces to try to cheer her up.  Nothing worked, that is, until we got into the Halloween store and she began to look at all of the costumes.  Then the Eskimo pup fell to the wayside. 

As Mario and I reviewed all of the boy costumes, Maria went to the end of the wall where the women costumes were posted.  She yelled “Mom, what about this one?”  I walked over and she pointed out a “candy striper (stripper)” outfit that might as well had been a non-existent costume – how two tiny pieces of material could be $29.99 is beyond me.  The next one she wanted was a “hot goth” outfit that had spiked black heels and a sparkling black bikini top.  I had to move her over to the girls’ costumes and with one look at them she sighed “these are the only ones?”   After much review, she chose a Spanish princess outfit (that was pretty racy for a 6-year-old with an off-the-shoulder design) and a spider princess dress that I knew would be too long for her.  The Spanish dress was adorable but way too sexy for a six-year old girl.  I took her back to the drawing board and found a 70’s groovy girl outfit with the peace sign and a head sash.  Surprisingly, she loved it (the girl loves the peace sign and even tattooed it on her neck a month ago).  She looked adorable in it and decided that was the outfit for her (especially when I told her that her aunts and grandmas would think it was so groovy!). 

Mario chose a Wolverine outfit.  I asked if he wanted to try a ninja or a power ranger outfit but he was set on the Wolverine.  It took him 15 minutes to get the legs situated on the costume – he rolled them up ten times).  He had to get his mask absolutely perfect before he moved down the aisle to the checkout line.  When he had finally situated the outfit perfectly, he asked for the claws.  He carefully put them on and looked up at me with a disappointed look.  “Mom, they are not even real. I want real claws.”   Maria jumped in and counseled him about what a costume was and the fact tha Wolverine’s claws were going to be fake because you could not wear real claws of a Wolverine.  Then she looked at me and whispered “Should I tell Mario that the Wolverine is just a character and not a real thing?”  I think the days of Santa and the Easter Bunny are over at age 6. Ugh. 

Mario sans the eye patch

We headed home with our costumes and a piece of candy for each of us (Mario and I with snickers and Maria with a piece of gum.  Within an hour of getting home, Mario wanted to a different costume.  I explained to him that he chose the Wolverine and we could not return it for a new one.  He did his latest trick which is covering his ears and chanting “I’m not listening.”  Maria again chimed in with an astute observation “Mario, you only want, want, want” (may be the pot calling the kettle black, a bit).   

When we woke in the morning the first thing out of Mario’s mouth was “Mom, can I please be a ninja for Halloween.” I told him I would think about it and he gave me a huge squeeze with an “I love you so much, Mom!”  So then the question became should I make him live with the Wolverine costume since I told him that he had one to choose from at the Halloween store and he chose it or should I allow him to pick another and return his Wolverine one?  I have got one group of friends that would definitely tell him “no” and make him live with his purchase.  Their reasoning is that you told him what the consequences would be at the store (“choose a costume and that is what you are wearing”) so you should stick with it.  My other group of friends would return the Wolverine and get him the ninja.  Their reasoning would be that he is 4 years old, he is bound to change his mind and what is the harm with making another trip?  I tend to default to that group’s thinking and found myself at Target the next day getting him a ninja costume.  We still have the Wolverine at home, too, since the Halloween store is farther away.  Of course, when we put on the ninja costume it looked ridiculous because it was a size 4T and Mario is barely in a 3T.  It drooped everywhere on him and he was pissed off!  He tugged and grabbed and pulled on the costume but nothing worked.  He fell to the floor in sheer disgust and cried and cried.  “It doesn’t fit me, Mom.  I look dumb!”  As a woman who has stood in a dressing room and had the same meltdown, I felt for him.  “Can I get a pirate costume?” he plead from the floor.  “Of course” I immediately replied.  I had wanted him to be a pirate all along because of the eye patch and the sash.  I did return the ninja costume before I got the pirate one, and  

All fit perfectly.