Category: Family

The power of appreciation

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I have not gotten to the gym all week.  Jon left town on Monday and returns on Friday.  I hate these weeks for numerous reasons: first, because my hubby is gone; second, because these kids know they can get away with murder with their mama; and third, because I am unable to start my day with a run or with gym time, which can make me very grumpy.  It does not help that I am compulsive about everything so if I don’t work out, then I eat really bad food.  If I workout, I eat really good food.  So, Twix bars and M&Ms have been my diet all week, which makes me even grumpier! 

Actually, I have not been too grumpy this week because I have had such a great time with Maria and Mario.  I have let them stay up late every night (it will be a rude awakening when Dad comes home on Friday!).  We have hit the library, Jeni’s, Wendy’s, and tonight, the indoor swimming pool!  I picked M&M up early and we headed straight to the pool (I had run to Target on my lunch hour and bought swimming suits for both of them since Maria outgrew her suit (when both butt cheecks are falling out you gotta hang it up!)) and Mario had pooped in his a few nights back and I had yet to wash it – lovely).  They were so excited, especially Maria who has been begging to hit the pool for months.   Maria also loved her new bathing suit, which relieved me because I decided against the Princess suit this year and went for a suit full of colorful Peace symbols. 

We arrived to an empty pool, which is a beautiful sight.  No one to bump into us or splash us (all of us are such loners!).  Maria is doing so well with going under water and even went under water while “swimming” to me tonight (scraping her arms along the bottom of the pool with her head submerged – but hey, it is something!).  I make her feel proud with my boasting but I am simply so happy to see her liking the water.  Mario just splashes around, throws his ball, goes down the little slide, and hangs out.  He will not submerge his head, yet.  But I gotta believe that with his crazy self the time will soon come.

We left around 7:00, and we were all starving.  Yes, another Wendy’s night.  Although, Maria chose a baked potato over french fries tonight, which is a positive change (does it matter that she loaded it up with two packets of sour cream!).  As we sat there savoring the salty french fries dipped in ketchup, Maria chimed in with a bit of appreciation that completely took me off guard. 

“Mom, I have two things to thank you for tonight.  Thank you for picking me up early. And thank you for taking us to the pool.”

My little appreciative soul

Just like that my day transformed.   I got more sincere appreciation from my four and a half-year old daughter than I have at work for two years.  

After our dinner, I bought them kid sized Frostys (and myself an adult sized one with M&Ms (they are daggone good!)).  Maria got whipped cream and chocolate sauce on hers.  I looked over at her on her stool with chocolate syrup on her upper lip and Frosty cup in hand.  Her head turned in another direction and looking around the restaurant in a whimsical way, she whispered “What a great ending to the day.”  You hit it on the head, girlie. 

She brings me back to what is true and real to me – my time with family, yummy food, and letting go.  Thanks, Ms. Ria.  I love you!  And, Mario, thanks for keeping us laughing all night with your madness! I love you, too!

Just Say No

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M&M at Krogers (for Halloween): a little better place to run around!

I should have declined. 

When my dad told me that he was bringing Grandma Menkedick and Grandpa Bill up to see my little brother in his first OSU play and that they wanted to have dinner with us prior to the show, I should have said “no.” Not because I dislike my Grandma Menkedick or Grandpa Bill.  In fact, every chance I get, I see them. But because my children display the absolute worst manners ever possible when out at a restaurant. 

My husband has mini-coronary arrests when we are out because he cannot stand the sight of them running around and acting goofy.  I, on the other hand, do not quite get to that level but I do get frustrated and anxious, especially when older guests are eating with us.  Why? Because 9.9 out of 10 of them do not find anything funny about two children running around the table, climbing underneath it, banging their spoons, and winging table scraps at each other.  In fact, they cannot even hide their disdain.  They either stare at them in disgust or they shake their heads and sport those disappointing faces with the mouth turned down and eyelids half-shut. 

Maria and Mario did better tonight than they have in months at other restaurants (may have had to do with Jon and I both lecturing them for the past few days about acting right or taking every privilege from tv to eating away from them!).  Nonetheless, they still didn’t sit still, they still moved chairs and climbed on them, and they still whined about how long the food was taking to arrive at our table. 

Grandma Menkedick just chuckles through it all but I heard her true feelings the other day when I called her.  She went on and on for 10 minutes about my cousin’s children and how well behaved they are when they eat with her.  I joked “and mine aren’t Grandma?”   She sat there in silence probably trying not to scream “Hell No!” and then responded with a slight laugh stating “You just have to keep working with them, Mary.”  Nonetheless, god love her, she did not make any comments while this was going on and she did not engage in any head movements or sighs that would make me even more anxious and irritable.  She is an extraordinary grandma to say the least. 

Grandpa Bill is pretty good, too.  Although, I still get the feeling that he reflects back to his days raising my stepmom and her brother and sisters and thinks “I would never have allowed….”  But, again, he gives slight smiles and sticks in there as the two crazy children climb on me and dump the salt and interrupt every word I say. 

So, again I walked out of the restaurant thinking “no way will I return until the children are 18, if then.”  Of course, I will be back in another week or two with the two of them in tow, meeting grandma or a cousin or a friend, and I will get that anxious and frustrated feeling back as I try to control the two nutballs.  If I was more of a disciplinarian, I would simply put them in the corner or enforce a no tv rule on them but so far I have found that I don’t have it in me.  Nonetheless, I feel the day a comin’ around the corner and when it does, watch out you two – I owe you some!