Life is Good

June 19, 20121 Comment

Can we have a more insane, crazed night than tonight?

I walked in the door at 5:45 pm after a nutty day at work full of little fires and big personalities. As soon as I step in the hall, Maria gets in my face crying that she needs a grass skirt and coconut boobs for tomorrow’s Hawaiian day at horse camp. Seriously, can’t the horse camp owners just make it a colorful t-shirt day? Everyone has a colorful t-shirt in their drawer – no-one has a grass skirt and coconut boobs. I text a few friends who are no help. I know that I am going to give in to her and run her to the store eventually. But first, I want to mow the lawn before Jon leaves for the airport. I change, slip on my grassy shoes, and head out. Our mower sounds like death. I have hit one too many rocks with it (in no part due to my inability to take my time) and it is ready to call it a day. I finish the back yard and when I go to start it in the front, it refuses. I knew not to mess with it any longer – its little mower life was up – but not before it gave me one last cut in the backyard. I will miss it. Luckily, we had Jon’s brother’s mower in the garage. I used it in the front only to find three-fourths of the way through that I had lost a screw on the left side of the mower so the handle would not stay up. I had to finish the lawn holding the left side up while I tried to push the mower with my right arm and hip. Ain’t it great?

I cleaned up, threw on a new shirt, and we headed out to the Dollar Store for Hawaiian goodies. We lucked out and scored a skirt, leis, and flower clips. Hopefully, Mario’s daycare has some left over boobs from their party that Ri can get tomorrow. Mario scored a set of handcuffs and knife – perfect for a wild four-year old. We ran out of the store and into the car to head home for a hot pocket and sandwich. After we heated the hot pocket, Maria jumped on her bike and Mario hopped in the stroller and we were off to Music on the Lawn for some music by Conspiracy. People packed the lawn taking in the funk. Mario engaged in a robot dance that had the entire left side of the lawn cracking up and Maria get treated to a bag of popcorn by her friend Zach. When he offered it to her, she blushed the loudest red I have seen. God help us.

Mario had a bathroom attack while dancing so we ran into the library. Of course, since we were in there, he needed to get a handful of movies. We met Maria outside for a few more songs and then called it a night at 8:45 pm. When we arrived home, I grabbed the scissors and began pruning the roses. They have been driving me nuts for weeks, and I promised myself I’d get them done last night or tonight. After working on those for twenty minutes while Maria and Mario played with the handcuffs and knife, I came inside to read a book to them. We read a couple, headed upstairs to get changed into pj’s and brush teeth, and headed back down for one episode of Scooby Doo.

My god. My eyelids kept falling over my eyes like broken shades. But I persevered through finishing up emails and memos for tomorrow and chanting all the while “life is good; life is good.” And alas, as crazy as it is, life is good.

Goodbye Maggie

June 19, 2012June 19, 2012Leave a comment

We said goodbye to Maggie last night. She is heading to Florida and then Australia for a long eight weeks (check out her blog at:. An Australian Summer.

Maria couldn’t stop hugging her when she came to Mario’s tee ball practice to say goodbye. Mario even dropped his glove in the dirt to give her a hug goodbye (and he is particular about his glove).

The kids have gotten used to Maggie coming over during the week to do laundry or just say hi. She would engage them in pillow fights one minute and book reading the next. Maria hung on her every word when she talked about her nights’ out with friends looking at her like she was a superstar.

After dinner, Maria asked if we could bike to her apartment one last time. I had developed some pictures for her to take to Australia so we had to deliver them anyway. We headed over and Ri got one final hug from her. As we biked away, Maria began to cry.

I told her that Maggie would be back before she knew it. She gathered herself up enough to say “but what if she decides to stay forever?” I told her that people sometimes move away – Maggie may find a job in Australia or meet someone she really likes.

Her precious response: “But what about her family back here? We love her.”

My little homebody girl. She certainly adores her family and makes sure they know it. As we approached our house, she asked if we could send Maggie a letter in Australia to remind her we are thinking of her. “And we can tell her something crazy that Mario did – because we know he will do something crazy soon – and that will make her smile if she misses home sometimes.”

What a good soul.

Dad saves the day!

June 18, 2012June 18, 20122 Comments

After that entire wrenching conversation about whether tooth fairies are real last night, I forgot to take Maria’s tooth from under her pillow and put money there instead. Nice job, Mary.

Jon and I were getting ready for work and Maria and Mario were sitting on the bed talking about the latest Turtleman episode. Maria shot up out of nowhere and yelled “I forgot to look under my pillow!”

My stomach sank to the basement. “Shit!” I mouthed to Jon. By that time, she had lifted her pillow only to find her tooth still laying there. She looked back at me quizzically and began sobbing. I went into reactive mode.

“Baby, it’s ok. I bet the tooth fairy heard our conversation last night and decided to wait to take your tooth until you really believed in her.”

“But mom, when I closed my eyes last night, I really believed in her. And she didn’t come.”

More sobs from her. More guilt from me.

Jon walked in the room. “Maria, this happened to me when I was little. I didn’t believe in the tooth fairy and she did t take my tooth. But when I began to believe, she came” Maria looked at him to see if he had on his straight face.He did.

She seemed to be turning a corner but then the sobs poured again. I hugged her and told her if she kept believing – even stronger than she did last night – I was sure the tooth fairy would come.

She stopped sobbing but laid in her bed pensive and melancholy. Jon asked her to come to him. I heard him tell her an additional fact: when the tooth fairy finally came to get his tooth the second night, he got even more money than he got with his other teeth.

She walked away with a huge smile on her face. Huge. She walked over to me and reiterated what dad told her. I reaffirmed that dad has told me that story, too so it had to be true. She smiled again and skipped into her room to get ready for horse riding lessons.

Jon saves the day. We are out an additional $5 but our girl has not lost faith in the tooth fairy. Job well done, dad.

Tell me the truth, is the tooth fairy real?

June 17, 2012Leave a comment

Maria lost her second tooth in two days. She pulled and pulled at it in the bathroom while I cringed at the thought in the hallway putting up pictures of when she and Mario were babies. She exclaimed 10 minutes after the start “My tooth is out!” She had pulled out another one, blood and all. She has no fear.

We went through the day hosting family for Father’s Day. When everyone left at 10 pm, she asked where I put her tooth. I had hidden it this time in a plastic bag behind the fridge because two days ago, we put her tooth in a plastic bag that Mario used to store his cheese and crackers. It was only after he had eaten all of the cheese and crackers and thrown the bag away that we realized her tooth was in it. When we pulled the bag out, there it sat next to a tiny remnant of american cheese. Gotta love it. I thought Mario would faint.

She held her tooth and asked me to sit next to her at the table. I sat down expecting her to ask me how much money I thought she would get from the tooth fairy. Instead, the conversation went like this:

“Mom, you gave me money under my pillow and acted like the tooth fairy, didn’t you?”

“No, Ri, I do not put money under your pillow.”

“Mom, tell me the truth.”

“I am telling you the truth, darlin’!”

And then she glares at me and I feel like I am under the control of a lie detection machine. This is the same glare she gave me when asking if St. Nick was real back at Christmas time. The glare got me that time, and I admitted that me and dad were St. Nick. But I refused after that time to ever let her get me again until she was much older. I want her to believe in some things – Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy. Why? I guess because I like the thought of her believing in magical things and experiencing wonderment at the notion that she can put a tooth under her pillow and money appears the next morning.

She continues, “Mom, I just have a belief that you give me the money and there is no tooth fairy. I just want the truth.”

Ok, so how many of you would admit at this point that it is you? How many would continue to fib and say it’s the tooth fairy?

I thought back to a book we read a year ago by Jason Alexander called Dad, Are you the Tooth Fairy? We were walking around the used book store and Maria grabbed it off the shelf and asked me to read it. We all plopped down on the floor and I began to read. Much to my amazement, the dad admits that he is the tooth fairy! But, he acts on behalf of all of the fairies and pixies that lived before him because the last fairy on Earth asked him to keep the magic going when she was gone. Or something like that.

I asked Maria if she remembered that book hoping that maybe she’d remember something that would help her process her dilemma. To my surprise, she remembered the book better than I remembered it. She explained to me that the dad was the tooth fairy because there were no more tooth fairies around and they asked him to deliver the money on their behalf. Then she stared me down. What to say now?!

I told her that I was not going to say anymore except that I always believed in magic and good things happening to people who opened up their hearts and imagination. Surprisingly, she listened to me and then simply pondered my response without any retort. When we went up to brush our teeth, she had a final thought for me.

“Mom, I am trying hard to believe in the tooth fairy. One side of my brain keeps telling me there is a tooth fairy but the other side keeps telling me it’s you and dad. I just don’t know what to think.”

Poor girl. She was about to move into cuckoo land if I didn’t tell her the truth. So did I?

Yes and no. I just reaffirmed that she had to believe what she wanted to believe – and have faith that this world was good and magical and full of wonder no matter what. I gave her a big hug and kiss and led her in her room to put on her pj’s. She placed her tooth under her pillow and looked over at me. I stared back at her. She stared back at me. And, neither of us blinked.

One Big Sweat Gland

June 16, 2012Leave a comment

I am really disliking this heat. I can’t stand that I walk outside for two minutes and my armpits look like someone poured a glass of water on them. I can only live in black and white shirts in the summer because I sweat so badly that any other shirt is noticeably drenched.

My doctor tells me that I sweat so heavily because my body is so efficient in releasing sweat from all the work outs I do. It almost makes me want to stop working out. Jon calls me his “one big sweat gland.” How endearing. Maria and Mario both back away into the corner when I approach them after being outside and yell “get away, you are too sweaty!”

I have tried the anti-sweat super deodorants but they don’t do a thing. My super-sweat overpowers every time. I guess it could be worse – I could…. Nah, it’s pretty bad. I hate being frozen every time I walk up to the coffee shop because I have sweated so much that the AC feels like ice crystals on my body.

All of this leads up to my sweat experience this afternoon. Jon’s niece, Sherri brought her kids over today while she and her hubby went to a charity golf outing. We decided to go to the pool. Of course, a normal human being would have loaded the kids in the car and headed to the pool. But, alas, I have never been normal (thanks dad and mom and Meg). Maria wanted to ride her bike. Emi wanted to ride mine. Eli wanted to ride mine, too, but she is not quite tall enough. Mario wanted to ride his since Jon fixed the seat and he can actually move pretty quickly. So, we packed up all the towels and goggles into the stroller and set off with Eli walking with me and the rest of the crew biking.

Surprisingly, Mario biked the entire way and Eli walked with me the entire way. The soccer camp she went to last week got her in shape (she even ran with me when Mario got too far ahead). Emi and Maria biked ahead of us – it’s nice having Emi with Maria because she makes her stop at each side street and look both ways – good influence!).

We stayed at the pool for an hour or so but Mario got tired and cold so we decided to head back sooner than we had planned. Mario, because he was tired and cold, did not want to ride his bike. Eli did not want to walk. Thank god Maria and Emi still wanted to ride their bikes. So, I put Mario on one side of the double stroller and Eli on the other and threw Mario’s bike over the two of them. How the stroller tires did not burst, I will never know. We walked a half mile, which included a hill near the end of our walk that took me ten minutes to climb. When we reached the house, I looked like I had just jumped into the pool. Drenched in sweat. Eli and Emi were speechless; Maria scolded me to take a shower; and Mario told me I needed to stop sweating. Oh, the love. Jon just looked at me like I was insane in the membrane.

“Why didn’t you drive?” he asked as I walked in the house. Now that would be a way too normal thing to do, and he knew that before even asking me. His term of “one big sweat gland” for me actually is endearing – he secretly loves it, I know. Or, I guess it is more accurate to say he secretly endures it because there is no other choice. My body is efficient, that’s all I gotta say.

Friday Stasis

June 15, 2012June 17, 2012Leave a comment

I did not want to leave the house today.

I wanted to stay cuddled with Maria on the bed watching Justin Bieber on the Today show and listening to Mario chuckle as he threw his sock at the ceiling fan and witnessed it ricochet across the room.

I did not want to sit in meetings and make phone calls.

So, I took my time getting ready for work. I appeased Mario and watched him throw his sock into the ceiling fan twenty times chasing him to try to be the first to retrieve the far-flung sock. I stared at Ri mesmerized by the tv showing Justin Bieber singing to the massive NYC crowd. I took Mario downstairs and made him peanut butter crackers for breakfast (I know all my health-nut friends are disgusted – sorry). He begged to watch one of his library movies and I agreed since it is a Friday. Maria came running downstairs and exclaimed “I got $5 from the tooth fairy!” Man, inflation has shot up the average gift from the Tooth Fairy.

When David arrived, I took off. I got to work just in time to get my decaf americano, answer two emails and leave for a 9:30 am meeting. The day went quickly; I had a YMCA board retreat from 2-5 that I really did not feel like attending. Not because I don’t like my colleagues on the board or because I had something much more fun to do. Maybe it was because I knew I would have to engage and talk and I just felt like keeping to myself. But I find that I get into that loner mode a lot, and I have to force myself to go to something in order to defeat it. It’s one thing to enjoy my solitude; I think that is a necessity in this life. It’s another to just not want to converse with people because it will take effort and you might get stuck talking with the guy that you think has an ego the size of Mars. I think it’s also a necessity in life to make that effort, especially when it relates to a larger goal – here, creating more teamwork and collaboration amongst YMCA board members. So, I went, and I really enjoyed it. I talked with people I have never spoken with before and learned that the guy I thought had an ego the size of Mars ran another non-profit that I was really interested in for future volunteer work. I learned that the YMCA hosted a lot more activities than I knew of – activities that I believed passionately about (teaching inner-city kids how to swim and working towards getting the Y residents more fit through nutrition and exercise).

I talked with Maria about the retreat when I got home. She loves the YMCA and has gone to several board meetings with me. Of course, at this age, it’s all about the food (she loves the home-made mac-n-cheese) and not about the mission. But she gets it in general because when we pass by a homeless person from time to time, she will say “Mom, maybe he should try to live at the YMCA.”

After a few minutes with Maria, we rushed Mario to tee-ball. Grandma and Grandpa Ionno came down to watch him play. It was picture night, too. Mario was hilarious with the photographer – he did his cool mac-daddy smile when she posed him and would not open his mouth for a full one. Patty and Joe got a kick out of watching him in the field – when a kid hit it, all of the kids ran towards the ball no matter where it was hit in the field. Mario even dove with another kid for the ball at one point and when he got it, he just looked at him with a cocky grin and threw the ball to first. Competitive can we say?

We hit Bob Evans after the game for some hotcakes and dinner rolls (we all needed to carb up after watching two long innings of tee-ball in 88 degree weather). Maria was cracking us up as we ate dinner. Mario went to the bathroom and had been in there for a while. Jon came back from paying the check and went to see if Mario was ok. Maria watched Jon pass our table and told him he better go check on Mario because there was no way his dad (her grandpa) was going because he was resting comfortably in his chair! She is a trip.

The kids rode their bikes for Grandma and Grandpa when we got home. We adjusted Mario’s bike seat up a few inches, and it made a heck of a difference. He sped along with no problem on the sidewalk. Poor guy just couldn’t get enough power earlier because his knees almost scraped the ground when he peddled. When Patty and Joe left, Maria strolled Mario up the street with all of her bears in one side of the stroller and Mario in the other. They flipped the stroller about five houses up the street. I was busy watering the yard so I did not bolt up the street like I normally would have to make sure everything was ok. This time I just yelled “Come on guys, get back home!” I am sure the conservative, cautious family up the street about had a heart attack but hey, it was Friday, and I had reached my limit of crisis. I had survived a day of work, a tee-ball game, 90 degree weather, and I was ready to chill. They did manage to get the stroller erect and head home, and we all chilled in the house for the remainder of the night.

Slightly insane but still kickin’ it

June 14, 20121 Comment

Mothers are all slightly insane. – JD Salinger, Catcher in the Rye

And there you have it summed up well. I thought of this quote tonight as I sat with my girlfriend, Amy and her two kids and husband at Jeni’s ice cream parlor. Maria and Mario wanted to see Zach and Grace (Amy’s kids) and we decided to meet at a local ice cream parlor and sit outside. Zach is as wild as Mario so whenever the two of them get together, it tends to be chaotic. Gracie and Maria do their own thing – typically not together since there is a two-year difference – but they are cool with just hanging out in their own separate hemispheres.

When we got to Jeni’s, Amy and her hubby already had a table. Zach came running up to me and rammed into my side. Mario jumped on him and fake-punched him in the back. Maria climbed on Mario. Gracie watched. Let the chaos begin. A friend with a daughter in Maria’s class was in front of me in line for ice cream.  She began to make small-talk with me about what teacher Maria had next year while Mario was dodging in and out of the stools with Zach. This is how the conversation ensued:

Her: “So, who does Maria have this year?”

Me: “She has, ugh…Mario, get off the floor and stand over here now! She has Ms. Palmer – is she any (evil eye to Mario) good?”

Her: “I hear she is just awesome. Did Maria like her first grade teacher?”

Me: “Yeah, she… Mario, stand still now; do not move another inch or no ice cream! Yes, she really liked her – Maria, watch out for the wandering baby! – first grade teacher.”

And so it went for another five minutes as my friend waited in line without any children in tow surely thanking the heavens for a night with no interruptions.  When I went to sit down, it started all over again. Amy and I would get a question and half an answer out before interrupting one or the other with a command to one of the children. But somehow we were able to pick up where we left off in the conversation – even if it was right in mid-sentence – and complete our thoughts. Mothers may be slightly insane but we can multi-task with the best of them and walk away from a get-together having got caught up on each others’ lives and kept the children from disaster!

Our Prizefighter Girl

June 14, 2012June 14, 2012Leave a comment

“My tooth is out!” she screeched from our bed
Jon and I ran to our room and
to our delight
She was not teasing this time
that stubborn front tooth
had finally decided to part ways
with Ri’s bright red gums.

She held it tightly
in her bloodied white tissue and
ran downstairs to call her grandmas
“My tooth fell out” we heard
over and over from below
She bursted back into our room
with that toothless grin
and I wrapped her in my arms
not wanting to let go
not wanting to find another tooth gone.

But alas, all times must end
To bring new adventures…
Nonetheless, I will stare at that
lovely little mouth
for as long as I am able
and share in Ri’s excitement when the
next baby white tooth
Falls out.

Music on the lawn and laughter in the air

June 13, 2012June 13, 2012Leave a comment

The soul is healed by being with children.~English Proverb

I walked in the back door last night and M&M darted through the kitchen to see me. A day full of irritations and squabbles at work evaporated into the evening air as I rolled around on the living room floor tickling them. Just hearing their loud, raucous laughter made the entire day worthwhile.

Jon cooked for the third day in a row! We were treated like royalty eating seasoned grilled pork, corn on the cob and beans. I am loving Jon’s cooking revival – both for the delicious food and for the family time together at the table.

Our after dinner treat landed us at Music on the Lawn at the library. Latin creole music and cupcakes and a cool breeze… it doesn’t get any better. Mario gathered up his change Jon has given him this weekend and placed it tightly in his pocket. He had more than enough to get two cupcakes. When we told him this, he approached Maria, tapped her side, and announced “Ria, I am going to treat you to a cupcake!” Maria turned to him and squeezed her arms around him: “thank you little buddy!” He smiled with pride. Sure enough, as soon as we pulled up to the library, Mario ran to the cupcake table and ordered two of them. He beamed as he took out his change and handed it to the boy scout.

After eating the cupcakes in five seconds flat, Maria went to the parking lot across the street and rode her bike with her girlfriends. Mario and I went to dance to the music. I sat on the lawn while Mario stood amongst the other kids jumping around the lawn and waving his arms. I love the complete lack of concern and inhibition in him. He just moves to his own beat. He decided the band was so good that he needed to tip them. After the lead singer came down to sing to the kids, Mario tapped his back side and put a dime in his hand. The singer chuckled and thanked him kindly. Mario beamed again.

We headed over to Maria’s friend’s house and sat with them for a bit after the show. The kids ate popcorn and played on our phones while we chatted about work and exercise and the gardening. On the way home, Maria slowed down her bike so Mario and I could catch up in the stroller.

“Hi, little buddy!” she remarked to Mario.
“Hi Ri!” he replied.
They both smiled at each other and then Maria biked ahead toward the house while Mario and I searched for squirrels in the yards.

Sunday stroller bliss

June 11, 2012June 11, 2012Leave a comment

Since Maria wouldn’t come home on Saturday night with me (no hard feelings, really – I loved listening to my own music and having an hour and a half of alone time!), I got to take a run with Mario in the stroller on Sunday morning.

I was able to crank out about 4 miles before we headed to Tim Horton’s for Sunday morning donuts. And it was another stroller ride where Mario never asked for the iPad but instead talked with his mama the entire time. Beautiful. We played the animal guessing game for most of the trip. He always guesses pig, frog, and monkey when he is guessing my animal because they are my favorite. He’s getting better about asking actual questions to figure out the contemplated animal after he runs through “mama’s favorite list.” He asks if they live in a jungle or farm, if they have fur, if they are fast. His animals I have to guess about are typically from Wild Kratts and obscure as can be. The honey badger, blue morpho butterfly, scorpion…. He’s so proud when I need help in guessing it.

The Wild Kratts show is a nice little educational tool that Grandma Ionno found. Mario gives me more insight into the animal planet from watching that show than I could find on my own (did you know the orangutan has sore arms from swinging and picks off aloe from trees to massage into his arms? Brilliant (both Mario and the orangutan))!

When we arrive at Tim Horton’s we are greeted by a flock of geese protective of their little ones. Mario jumped out of the stroller and began following them. He knows the wrath of the mama goose if he gets too close so he kept far enough away not to receive her treatment.

After the donut store we decided to head to the river to collect more rocks. The lack of rain created a rocky bank for Mario to step onto and the amount of mussels and clams amazed us. We could have been on Cape Cod (ok, I exaggerate a tad). We must have played on that bank for 45 minutes and it felt like 10. I love those times with Mario where we just chill – throwing rocks and staring at the water to wait to see a jumping fish. He does good for my need to be more calm.

On our way back to the stroller,a passing runner told us there was a turtle a few 100 feet back on the trail. We were all over it. We found “Cutie” (as Mario named it) off the trail soaked in mud. We caressed its shell but stayed away from its mouth to avoid a possible finger crunch.

On the way off the trail, we picked a few wildflowers to take home for Maggie’s party. I put them in the seat next to Mario in the stroller and he kept getting irked by the flowers falling on him. I said “flowers, you better stop falling on Mario, do you hear me?!” Mario loved that exchange and began to play the role of the flowers saying “we won’t listen to you” so that I would “have a talk with the flowers” again. This exchange lasted the entire way home.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Kids