Cone dog

January 10, 2014Leave a comment

Our poor cone-head pup. Ri, Mario and I picked him up on Monday afternoon in the freezing cold weather (the kids were off school due to wind temperatures below zero) and we all “ohhhhed and ahhhhed” over him when they brought him to us. He was pretty out of it from being sedated and the kids were able to hug all over him without him being disturbed. Maria held him against her in the backseat and Mario rubbed his back. Rocco was trembling and the kids kept demanding that I go faster.
When we tried to get him out of the car, he refused to budge. I had to scoop him up in my arms and carry him into the house. Ri and Mario got a kick out of that. As soon as we stepped inside, the kids ran upstairs and got blankets for Rocco. I sat him in the family room and they covered him up. They reached in the cone and rubbed his ears. They told him they loved him. Every time any of us moved away from him, he whined. So, we took turns sitting with him. This was easy for the kids because they got to chill on their iPads.

In the evening, we played crazy eights. I kept jumping up from the table to console Rocco who continued to whine. We finally all got up and went in the family room to be with him. He placed his head on the carpet and let us rub all over him. “He loves us!” Mario announced happily.
The next day he was up and walking around like nothing happened, except he couldn’t quite understand why he had to wear a cone. He was a bit more use to it but he continued to run into his cage and the walls, which continued to crack up the kids.

We got eight more days with this cone. I can’t wait until it comes off, and I know Rocco can’t either. The kids kinda dig it though….

New Year’s Eve 2013

January 3, 2014Leave a comment

Jon and I are in trouble. Big trouble.

Ri is a one heck of a party animal.

Not only did she stay up until after the ball dropped but she ran outside after midnight in my jacket and Jon’s boots and slammed her gingerbread house on the sidewalk (one of her Brownie girls gave her the idea). She was ready to keep going after midnight – she blew her horns and kept taunting us with “what, are you tired?!” But we made her go upstairs after the high of the gingerbread house destruction and she fell asleep next to me in about ten minutes.

Up until 11 pm, we were all hanging in there together. We played Yahtzee – Maria kicked our butts. Patty and I drank some wine. We ate chips and dip. We watched lame tv coverage of the ball drop (I have never seen such a sad display of commentators). Ri got to see Miley Cyrus perform. But then Mario fell asleep on my lap and Patty could barely keep her eyes open and Jon was two winks away from falling asleep.

We did get hold of Uncle Jack at midnight – Peepaw had dropped him off in Brooklyn on the 30th and he told us he was planning to head to Times Square. we could hear the chaos behind him. Ri and I are heading there with him next year.

The following morning, Mario asked us to re-play the ball drop. Luckily Jon had recorded it. Ri and Mario grabbed their blowers and clappers and went to town eight hours after the official beginning of 2014.

I find it a very good sign that Mario did not flip out that he had fallen asleep before midnight, and that he was grateful to blow his horn after the fact. I also find it positive that Ri did not rub in the fact she stayed awake to Mario. And lastly, I find it very telling that we started the year with Patty at our house. I think that means that family will play a significant role in our lives this year and, an even more fabulous byproduct of that: Jon and I will have lots of free babysitters!

Here’s to 2014!

Bittersweet Christmas 2013

January 1, 2014Leave a comment

Christmas 2013 ended up being a very rough one. Jon’s dad got sick on the 14th and couldn’t get out of bed. He had just traveled to a funeral on Friday in Canton and spoken with family members. But by the time we arrived on Sunday, he was still in bed and not saying much. I was able to sit with him and watch the football game. I didn’t say much out of deference to him – he always liked calm and quiet and I wanted to provide that to him in what we knew were his final days. Jon got to be near him and tell him he loved him on Sunday, also. What a blessing that was because he started to decline quickly on Monday. All of his children were able to get to the house before he passed on Friday. Patty was able to read him the Bible in the comforts of their home and comfort him with her smile. That is one memory I will never forget: watching her bend down to Joe and whisper “I love you” and seeing his mouth widen into a smile and say “I love you” in return. Fifty years together and committed more than ever.

The next week was painful for all the family to experience, especially Patty and the five sons. Jon stayed in Marion most nights and the kids and I went up a couple of times to say goodbye. On Wednesday night, many of the grand kids were there – Dagmawit, Maria and Mario, Alana and Gio, Emmi and Eli (great grand kids). They played downstairs and we could hear their laughter from Joe’s room. Kevin and Chris and Jon and Patrick and Patty reminisced about times with Joe while we stood in his room. The next day, the hospice nurse told us we may want to keep it quiet for Joe. We agreed. But I do believe that Joe enjoyed hearing his grand kids downstairs one final time since he spent so much time with them over the last few years. For 90 years old, it was amazing how much he could tolerate. And how he always was ready for an embrace.

He passed away with Patty, Jon and Chris by his side. We all went to the house that evening and celebrated him. We held his wake on Sunday and the mass on Monday. Then we came home to prepare for Christmas Eve. Needless to say, we were all spent, emotionally and physically.
We took Patty to Cincy with us on Christmas Eve. She fit right in with the rowdy Heiles (actually, after we left we realized that it’s really just me that creates the rowdiness anymore…and I do it well!). We went to Grandma Lolo’s first where Maria and Mario were quite pleased. Ri got a “real” baby doll with five sets of clothes and Mario got Skylander Swap. Of course, Mario said thanks but then immediately asked “where’s more presents?” Jon and I both had a talk with him about being grateful and it sunk in … until the next gift opening. Maria was the same way at age 5 and grew out of it; but Mario may be tougher. Needless to say, we will be practicing gratitude all year long in 2014. My mom loved getting Maria a baby doll. The two of us refuse to let her grow up and slurped up the fact that she still wanted a baby doll for Christmas.

We ate some chocolate covered cherries (Mario was not a fan) and headed to Laura’s house (formerly Grandma Heile’s home). All my baby cousins are grown up – it is just not right. They all sit properly in their chairs and drink their wine and talk about their jobs! Maria and Mario sit all over them and rough house with the boys. They love it.

We left Laura’s house and headed back north to wait for Santa to arrive. Ri fell quickly to sleep because “Santa would come more quickly.” Mario stayed wide awake watching Epic with Patty and then played Legos with her in the basement until 11 pm. She is a machine.
Christmas morning arrived and Ri was the first up. She laid patiently with Jon and me until Mario woke up and jumped on our bed screaming “let’s open presents!” And we were off to the races!

I bought them a bunch of clothes and small gifts, which they opened with vigor. At the end, they both looked up and smiled but wondered if anything else was coming (Mario had begged for an iPad all season; Ri had wanted one too but was conflicted because she also wanted a sewing kit and American Girl doll clothes, and she didn’t want to be greedy). I left the room and returned with two packages and a note. Maria read the note from Santa.

The note detailed all of the dos and don’ts of having an iPad mini. Mario could hardly hold still as Ri read. Santa told them that they have to play educational games and get off of it when their parents say so, and they have to continue to be good and giving to others. I think Ri processed it; Mario is gonna take some time!

The next 24 hours was a whirl wind. Meg, my dad, Jack, Sarah and Jorge arrived around 10 am. We ate yummy casserole and biscuits and then took two hours to open presents. We are notorious for being slow present openers. We have to ohhhh and ahhhh. Ri and Mario found out about their Disney trip. Ri flipped out with excitement; Mario was in a state of awe. He was both excited and nervous about going without Jon or me. He still loves hanging with Jon and me, but we know he will have a blast.

After we opened presents, my Menkedick crew took off and our Ionno crew came over. Patty and I broke out her whipped cream vodka ( yikes!) and the kids played together all day long without any fighting.

The girls went to the park with me and Rocco and climbed all over downed trees. Times are a changing: Ri is turning into the outdoors girl while Mario is wanting to stay in all the time.

The next morning we drove to Marietta for Joe’s burial. The cemetery sat on a steep hill amidst a throng of trees that must look magnificent in Autumn. A group of Patty’s family members showed up to the cemetery and afterwards we went over to West Virginia for Italian food (now there is an oxymoron for ya). It was comforting to sit with Jon and his family and my parents during lunch.
I took in our conversation with vigor.

Girlfriends

December 27, 2013December 27, 2013Leave a comment

Friend. Good.

I saw these two words written on a greeting card along with a silhouette of a big dog staring at the silhouette of a puppy. I immediately thought of my Cincy girls.

I’ve known these babes since the womb it feels like; actually it’s more like 1st grade. I’ve had many a crazy experience with them both individually and as a group. Lisa and I used to cheer the Reds on at the old Riverfront Stadium (and had the biggest crush on Dave Parker); Jill and I used to play house at our old kindergarten; Ericka used to catch my fast pitch softballs in high school; and Kathy and I used to get rowdy and break car door windows (actually that was just Kathy on my car window!).
We all are very different at this stage of our lives having pursued different life paths, different cities, different hobbies. But oh doesn’t that make for some fabulous conversation and some hilarious moments.
I took Maria Grace with me on the five and a half hour trek to Midland, Michigan where Kathy resides. She couldn’t wait to babysit Kathy’s kids and hang with her “aunts.” We, of course, had to stop off for some snacks along the way…

And we had to hit the Michigan welcome center…

Ri knew her father would enjoy those pictures. We were the first to arrive at Kathy’s sweet abode. What a magnificent house and location. Ri was excited that Grace was so excited to see her. And she adored Rose from the minute she set eyes on her. Kathy and Andrew were off the hook from feeding her, reading to her, and bathing her as soon as Ri walked in the house.

Lisa arrived a couple hours later with Josh and Emma. Maria was a bit irked at first because she liked having Emma and Rose to herself but she quickly bonded with Ms. Emma and babied Josh so all was good.

The kids played while we caught up on life. We chatted about Christmas presents, school, work, hubbies. Ericka and Jill finally arrived and we broke out the wine and snacks and cozied up on the downstairs couch together. Such a quaint setting with a fireplace and wood siding. Ms. Maria hung in with us until 12:30 am contributing quite often to the conversation. There is no doubt she will be engaging on the same all-night conversations with her friends years to come.
I woke up to a winter wonderland on Saturday morning. The neighbors had their snow blowers revved up but they had not cleared any snow yet. I walked in an all white landscape and listened to the ice crackling and the random bird singing. Heaven.
When I returned, Ri was playing away with the other kids. I watched her laughing with Emma and I was taken back to being 8 years old and playing with my girlfriends sitting in the next room. It was pure joy to see my daughter with my girlfriends’ daughters. A new generation beginning life-long friendships.

We got dressed and headed out to lunch in downtown Midland. The kids drew pictures for us in their booth, ate their food, and ran around like maniacs. We talked about our lives, our irritations, our blessings. It was like we had never moved away from one another.

We had to do the funny face picture after our meal. I knew all these gals and kids would participate. Next we headed to the mall. We all did some last minute shopping and let the kids sit on Santa’s lap. I was el cheapo and did not buy a picture. I was pissed at myself when we left because I remembered I had a Buddha picture of Ri when she was seven months old on Santa’s lap and it would have been a hilarious contrast seeing her now on his lap. Next year….
We hit Barnes and Noble to look at books and that was where we experienced the epic Grace meltdown. It was classic. At first, all was well. Ri read to the kids and they were all smiles.

Then I wanted a picture of the moms in the same pose. Kathy sat in Grace’s seat. Oh my. Ms. Grace let us know her anger at that move and went to town on Kathy. All the rest of us could do was laugh our a–es off because we’ve all been there. Kathy packed it up immediately and we all followed her. On the way to the car, Josh had a follow-up meltdown that rivaled Emma’s because he dropped his gum on the floor. There’s one big difference between Lisa and me. I would have brushed it off and popped it right back in his mouth but Lisa promptly discarded it. By the time we all got back to the cars, we were ready for the comforts of home and wine.
We broke out pizza. wine, guacamole and my beloved sheet cake and went to town after singing happy birthday to E.

We decided to head out to a wine bar at 9 pm just like we would have done in our twenties. We still got it. Except we only lasted until 10:45 pm. Ri was so sad for us to leave and all the other kids were going to bed so we let her go with us. She was ecstatic. She played on the iPad the entire time until she passed out on my lap at 10:30 (from exhaustion, not wine).

On Sunday morning, we ate sheet cake for breakfast and packed up our things dreading the ride home both because it was nasty outside and because we wanted a longer stay. These gals are my soul sisters who I can trust to be there for me no matter what. It’s hard to believe we’ve known each other for 35+ years and we still love each other so much! However, there are tines when we are just like an old married couple – committed but on each other’s nerves! But that’s the beauty in a long, thriving relationship – you take each other for who you are. I can’t imagine my world without these gals and I’m awfully glad that Ri got to share in the love with me.

Weekend Round up

November 24, 2013November 24, 2013Leave a comment

I was a single parent this weekend with Jon heading out to the Bucks game with his best friend Paul on Saturday and heading out to hunt on Sunday. So what did I decide to do? How about have over five other kids all day long to play with M&M? That wouldn’t lead to a massive headache or a few outbursts, would it?
But it’s all about the kiddies and they wanted to see their cousins badly. The three next door neighbor kids happened to decide they wanted to play, too after seeing Ri and Mario running around with Alana and Gio. At first, it was all good fun. The boys played zombie killers and ran around the house with their bows and guns and swords. After a while, I started to get claustrophobic with all the running and screaming so I bundled them up and we headed to the woods with Rocco. The boys were hilarious finding zombie trails and troll hideouts and dens. They acted like Rocco was sniffing out zombies. It is always quite an adventure heading out with 6 year old boys.

Meanwhile, the girls were back at the house chillin’ with a game of Sequence. They had played enough of the regular game so they made up their own with Monopoly pieces.

After we came home, the chaos slowly rose. Rocco had rolled in raccoon poop (I’m assuming it was raccoon poop but how do I know?!) when we were in the woods. Mario had pointed out some dirt on his side when we were leaving but I just blew him off with an “ugh-huh” because I was freezing and wanted to get home. Luckily I smelled it on him before he rubbed himself everywhere. But the bath was quite a chore between Rocco jumping out three times, the shampoo spilling everywhere and the kids running all around the house with a sopping wet dog following them.
Then the boys got even more wild and crazy running around the house. And yelling. And hurting each other. I started to get the crazed look in my eyes and Ri spotted it.
“My mom’s about to unleash the monster!” Maria whispered loudly to Alana and Sophie. She knows me way too well.
I tried not to scream too loud but I did have a few words with those boys. After a while, I had to send the neighbor kids home in order to cut the kid to mom ratio to 4 to 1. I felt better then and helped Alana and Ri with Alana’s new Barbie house and helped Gio and Mario with their Legos. We stayed up until 11 but then I called it a night. I couldn’t hang any longer. The kids obligingly went in their rooms and I do believe I was asleep before any of them.
On Sunday, we hit the new turkey movie, Free Birds. Lame. Even Ri thought it was pretty bad. Mario liked a few parts (when the male turkeys would fight) but was not too impressed either. But hey, it didn’t ruin our Thanksgiving spirit and we got a ton of popcorn and candy (we scored free refills on popcorn which I usually never take advantage of but it felt good to get a refill on a $8 bag of popcorn!).
Now, to a short work week and lots of gratitude!

Book fairy and birthday parties

November 14, 2013November 14, 2013Leave a comment

My sis is a book fairy.

She has been gifting books to me over the last few years and has a 100% satisfaction rate. Truly amazing since I am not typically a book reader. A package came in the mail on Wednesday night from Amazon. I ripped it open and found a gorgeous hardback book staring up at me.

Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward.

Loved loved loved it. I can’t remember the last time I couldn’t wait to get home from work to read a book. Finished it in three days. Her story is powerful on many levels but I connected strongly with her mother and the sacrifices she made in order to provide for her family. Ri listened to me read a few pages on Friday night as we laid on the couch together while the boys watched some hunting show. Ri asked a ton of questions with each new page I read and I eventually got so annoyed I had to put my book down and pick Ri’s book up to read with her. We read Wonder together. She was on the chapter where the family dog dies. She began reading the first page of the chapter and we both figured out what was happening. She slowed her reading and when she got to the point where the little boy is crying about his dying dog, she began to bawl. And I joined.

She choked her tears back as she said “I remember you bringing Cy to see me at school before he died. I miss him so much.” Then she cried again. And I joined again. This girl has some serious emotion in her and I’d have it no other way. We laid on the couch in an embrace and cried about our sweet Cy. Then we went to bed.

On Saturday, we hit Mario’s friend, Jack’s party at Sports Ohio. Ri wanted to come with me and Mario didn’t freak our about it amazingly. Kate told Ri she could play in the inflatables with the other kids and Ri was so excited. Mario just didn’t pay her any attention as he ran around with his “bros'” (as he calls them affectionately). They played flag football, too. Ri gave it a try, which completely surprised me. Mario pleaded for the ball at every play.

Then came cake and ice cream. I scored a huge slice since no other moms wanted any.

After the party, Ri and I picked up Evie and headed out to my friend’s bonfire party. Ri and Evie were quite happy to see hot dogs and marshmallows and chocolate galore lined up on picnic tables. They played and performed shows for the adults that involved singing and goofy, eight-year-old girl antics. On the way home, they sang Rihanna and Michael Jackson songs.

Meanwhile, Mario opted to stay home with his dad because he much prefers Jon over me these days. They played Wii football and watched hunting shows and got wings at BW3s. Very manly activities that Mario loves.

On Sunday, we traveled to the farm for another birthday celebration with Meg, dad, Jack, Sar and Jorge. Jon slaved over homemade meatballs and sauce so that we could have a fabulous lunch out there. Meg-pie scored a yummy sheetcake from a bakery out in the hills and even bought chocolate chip ice cream! They do love me!

We took a hike as soon as we arrived out to the vine where Peepaw swung Ri and Mario back and forth to see who fell first. Except they changed into Mabel and Gramps when on the vine and Peepaw called out “how are Mabel and Gramps doing?! I think Gramps is falling! Oh no, Gramps is down!” Ri and Mario laughed hysterically.

Jack and I walked together and chatted about light-hearted topics like the meaning of life and being in the present moment. I just adore my little bro. And so do Ri and Mario. He raced Mario down the hill and picked him up over his head. He listened to Ri and all of her stories about school and family.

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We came home to a warm meal and lots of kid jokes. Mario told a joke to Jack that Ri taught him:
Mario to Jack: "what's your name?"
Jack:"Jack"
Mario: "what does h-a-s spell?"
Jack: "has"
Mario: is it good or bad to kill someone?"
Jack: "bad"
Mario: "what do you put in your car tank?"
Jack: "gas"
Mario: "Jack has bad gas!!"
Ahh, the frivolity! That started my dad up and he got Mario to say "Mario has a screw loose." Now Mario gets me and Jon with that joke every day.

I am so lucky to have such a tender good-hearted family. And a family that knows my taste buds! The cake was superb!

We took another hike after devouring the cake and came back to the house ready to go to bed. The kids would have enjoyed that but we had to get home for school on Monday. And I got yet another birthday gift on Monday – a day off work while the kids were in school!

Birthday no. 42

November 6, 2013Leave a comment

42 was a piece of cake, or I should say, pieces of cake, based on the many pieces I consumed through the day. My mom came up from Cincy on Monday night so that I could start 42 off right with a morning run and weight-lifting. I woke at 6:10 and the sunrise greeted me at mile 5. Gorgeous dark peaches and mango across the eastern sky as I finished up my run and walked into the gym for some heavy duty lifting. It’s been my routine for ten+ years and I cherish it.
I came home to kisses from Ri and Mario (even with my sweaty self) and a walk up to Stauf’s with my mom and Rocco. If only every day could begin like that – warm kisses, sweet kids, good conversation, Stauf’s coffee (add in Jon and it would be perfect)…. I hit work after Stauf’s and got happy birthday wishes from friends on Facebook. It is funny how excited people get over birthday messages via Facebook, especially when they are from people you rarely speak with during the year. But I must admit that I was one of those people smiling with each new message wishing me a great day.
I took off a little early from work to meet my sis at the house at 5 pm for a walk with Rocco and the kids to the woods. We timed it perfectly with the sun setting before us as we walked into the woods. Vibrant oranges laid as a backdrop against the yellows and reds of the trees’ leaves. Magical.
Mom was off her call when we arrived home and we headed out to Cap City for some yummy dinner and dessert. The waiter was a gem and allowed me to get both the salmon and the meatloaf because I couldn’t pick which one sounded better. They were delicious. And we couldn’t resist carrot cake for dessert (even though mom had bought me a sheetcake!).

I have flowers galore in the house and at work thanks to my hubby. He sent some to my office that are quite the lift-me-up when I walk into my digs in the morning (along with a sweet note).

The ones he sent to the house were ones he had delivered with Ri’s and Mario’s names on the card. When I opened the card and asked the kids “did you get these for me?”, Maria immediately said “no, dad did.” Not Mario though. He didn’t flinch when he responded “yes, I picked them out.” He likes to take credit where credit is not due…. but I can’t help but love him.
Ri wrote me a poem about love and gave me some acorns. Sarah wrote me a precious letter and mom hooked me up with running gear and an endearing card. We came home to more sheetcake and peanut butter chip ice cream. By 10 pm, none of us could move or stay awake.

Mom hit the road back to Cincy and Sarah and I and the kids headed up to bed. And there, before my eyes, was my most awesome present – a bed full of folded clothes. Mom had folded four loads of laundry for me as well as cleaned up dog poop outside. Now that’s a helluva birthday present.

Self-discovery

October 30, 2013October 30, 20131 Comment

My girl has been wanting a sewing kit ever since they had a sewing lesson two weeks ago in Girl Scouts. She asks for one everyday. Surprisingly, only because every kid in America seems to want one, she doesn’t want a rainbow loom. She came home with one of the bracelets a friend of hers had made and showed it to me a few weeks ago and ever since then, I have seen them everywhere. Mario got one from Quinn and when he accidentally undid the bands, I thought he might put himself in coronary arrest.

This morning, Maria again mentioned the sewing kit. I blurted out “I know, I know” making yet another mental note to get her that kit so she can start to sew my ripped shirts. I glanced at one of the bracelets on the table and asked “do you want one of those rainbow loom things?”

“No.” A pause. “I hope you’re not mad, mom. I’m just not into them like other people are.”

I know why she added the sentence after “no.” I have been getting on her about finding something that she really enjoys doing so that she isn’t bored when I’m doing other things. Im thinking she should read or draw or play a sport. But she has no interest. Don’t get me wrong, she will be the first to hop on her scooter and take a walk or play make-believe with the neighbor or help me bake cookies but she’s not into going to her room and chillin’ with a coloring pad or a book.

I did admit to her that it was a bit my fault since I kept her busy doing activities all her life and I was constantly by her side whenever we had a free moment (she swept that admission up and stuffed it in her pocket to inevitably sling at me the next time I got on her for not finding something to do by herself).
But while I got on her about doing things on her own, I realized I was pressuring her to do things that I would want to do: I wanted to read more so she should. I always loved to draw pictures so she should. I loved soccer so she should. But she’s not me. Ah-hah.

And so I have backed off on pushing those things on her. When I am reading my magazine, and she looks bored, I let her figure it out. Yes, she may play Minecraft on the iPad but she may also go outside and play with Rocco or just stare at the walls. But she’s no worse off than if I stuck her face in a book and forced her to read (which she would just mimic reading anyway). She gets her reading in at school and at home for homework.

She’s in third grade; she’s just starting to figure out who she is, what moves her, how she reacts to things. I don’t think that forcing her to engage in activities she doesn’t want to do is how I should help her get there (that is not to say that I won’t make her try at least one activity and one instrument eventually).

When I discarded this notion that those activities were the “right” activities for her and just listened to her and watched her, I saw and heard activities that she really wanted to do: sewing, horseback riding, building. They were just activities that didn’t interest me so I had been blind to really seeing them as options for her.

This morning, I called the horse farm to schedule lessons for Ri. I also asked a girlfriend where I could find a good starter sewing kit (she looked at me in amazement until I told her it was not for me but for Ri – she laughed hysterically).

And I am reminded yet again that discovery of self is a life-long process.

Heaven

October 29, 2013October 29, 2013Leave a comment

I am so happy to have this boy in my life. A few days ago, he started making Skylander books, which consist of one Skylander on a page and about three or four pages stapled together. No words. But he verbally describes each Skylander to me. After reading all three different books to me, he started his sales pitch: “what book do you want to buy, mom?”

“How much are they?”

“For you, $10.”

“”Is that a higher price than for others or a deal?!”, I wondered out loud.

“Hey, I need money to buy Skylander swap so I gotta sell them for at least $10.”

I told him I’d give him $5 knowing we’d land at $6 since he always bargains back and forth. But I made him autograph it for me so when he became famous, I could say “I knew him when….” He thought that was cool. He wrote “Mom”, drew a heart, and signed his name. Precious. Then he stuck out his hand to retrieve $6 from me.

When I tucked him in, he asked when I’d get him the $6. I told him I’d savage through my purse when I went downstairs. He made me promise to put the cash in his wallet in a particular order: “the ones have to go after the fives and the fives after the tens. Dad and I organize our money right.” Oh my.

The next evening, he laid in our bed waiting for Jon to come up to watch football with him. Jon called me up to look at him. He was laying face up holding one of his “books” in front of him. He looked like an angel. I walked over to him and kissed his forehead and he looked at me with a sad little face.

“What’s wrong pumpkin?”

“I don’t want you or dad to die.”

I was dizzy with love and compassion and swooped him up in my arms to hug him. I told him we weren’t going anywhere and he hugged me back as hard as I hugged him while planting the most gentle of kisses on my cheek.

Heaven.

Pumpkin patches

October 25, 2013Leave a comment

I am in disbelief over my babies at age three and now at ages 8 and 6 at the pumpkin patch. What will it feel like when they are 15 and 13? The thought of it makes my heart drop like a boulder into my stomach. There are certainly those days when I ask myself “when will they be 18 and able to take care of themselves?” But those days seem to happen a lot less than they did when they were 5 months old and I was up for the tenth time in the wee hours of the night. Now they can make cereal on their own, sleep through the night, play games together. It’s the perfect time where they are somewhat self-sufficient but also completely in love with me. I get hugs with no provocation. I get pleas for good-night kisses. I get random “I love yous” through the day.
Fellow moms tell me that it gets even better as they continue to grow up and develop their sense of selves, their independence. And I can see that as I watch those moms beam as their child scores a soccer goal or makes the Dean’s List.

But I will miss that constant affection and connection that I have with my babes right now. The thrill that runs through me when I step in the door and get knocked over on the ground with hugs. The warmth of two kids’ bodies curled against me as I read them a book. And the immense joy they exhibit by simply being dropped off from a hayride into a patch of pumpkins.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: life