Determined to bike (and be near family).

September 18, 20122 Comments

My boy didn’t give up all day Sunday. He sat on his two-wheeled bike, adjusted the pedal so that it was at the northern-most direction, placed his foot on it and rode until the pedal went a half of a turn to the southern-most direction; and then threw both his feet down on the ground to stop himself.

He started the process again. And again. And again.

Every time Jon and I would try to hold the back of his bike to give him a little push to get him started, he would berate us and push our hands away.

“I can do it myself!”

He’s a determined little sucker. He wants to accomplish things on his own. But he also wants you to watch his every move while he works on them. And if you don’t, he lets you know. At football on Saturday, I coached Mario after a play he made telling him to make sure to run after the ball. He darted over to me on the sidelines and yelled “you weren’t even watching me, mom, so don’t talk to me because I don’t have to listen to you!” (I had been listening to Maria read me a book during his play and had not had my undivided attention on him).

A tad bull-headed.

But being bull-headed has its positive side. Mario was not going to let Monday roll around until he could pedal a few turns without falling. Jon and I took turns watching him start and stop and start and stop and start…. Maria tried to coach him, too, instructing him to get a running start before putting his feet on the pedals. He actually listened to her and tried it but clearly felt like that move was a little too risky for him.

Nonetheless, by the time we went inside Sunday evening, he was able to pedal three or four turns before falling to one side. On Monday evening, he was able to go up or down the driveway before screeching to a halt. Jon and I watched with pride and amazement as he biked from the mid-point of the drive to the end. We cheered and roared as though he won the Olympics.

Tonight, he biked on the sidewalk of our street. He cranked out three or four house lengths before rolling into the grass and starting over. Incredible. Just last week Maria complained about Mario never wanting to try the two-wheeled bike and Mario was adamant that he would not give into her complaints. He had no desire to ride a bike sans training wheels. But something or someone changed his mind on Sunday and now there is no turning back.

Yet another milestone achieved. A milestone that pushes him towards independence and self-sufficiency. After all, once you can bike, you can go anywhere (isn’t that a Dr. Seuss rhyme?!).

Why is it that the mind understands that these babies of ours need to grow up but the heart so desperately wants to keep them young?

I stood and watched his tiny determined face as he situated the pedals just right and took off down the sidewalk. My little munch was not so little any longer. Five years old and riding a bike and playing football and operating a computer. He’s set.

I can only imagine the short amount of time it will take before he begins begging to ride to the next street over, then the next, and then even further away. But for now I will soak in his response when I told him that he was an official two-wheeled bike rider:

“This is great mom. Now the whole family can ride two-wheeled bikes together.”

Always thinking of his family – my sweet biking son.

Down at the river

September 16, 2012September 17, 20126 Comments

The bike trail led us to our rocky alcove along the Scioto River where we have planted ourselves on Sunday mornings for years. It provides a refuge from the traffic and the noise and the bustling of people grabbing coffees, grocery shopping or heading to church.

Ri and Mario transcended down the rocky bank towards the river staying alert for unique rocks. Mario threw a hefty stone in the water and watched the splash. He continued to find rocks progressively bigger in size to see how much bigger his splash would be. Maria hunted for rocks for us to take home for our garden.

I had considered trying out a new church today. I hunted for a few on the internet last night while the kids slept. I struggle with the feeling that we should have a gathering place on Sunday mornings where we worship beside others and sing songs and reflect. Jon and I have not put our energies in our local church for numerous reasons; the number one reason for me being that I feel like it’s hypocritical. I believe in women leaders, gay rights, womens’ choice and the church, at least at the highest ranks, does not. The non-denominational churches I found last night seemed promising but I still feel hesitant. And as I stood on the bank of the Scioto watching M&M, I couldn’t help but notice how joyful and soulful and grounded I felt being outside amongst the trees and water and birds.

When we walked together along the path and paused to watch a brown and yellow-spotted butterfly flutter around a bunch of flowers, I was grateful for the quiet moment with my munchos.

We came upon a part of the trail that had a clearing leading down to a wide patch of lily pads. When we passed the last large oak and the sky opened up, we saw all of the lilies spread along the river. A couple of ducks swam through them. The kids stared at the scene and Mario tried out his duck calling sounds (hilarious). Maria tried clapping to a beat to help Mario but still no ducks came our way.

On our way back to our stroller, Maria spotted a buckeye on the ground. Then another. We were under a buckeye tree. Mario found a nut eventually and took much pride in splitting it in two. The buckeyes inside were so shiny. I hit a branch with a throng of nuts and it was like gold dropped from the heavens. The kids scurried around grabbing the nuts and piling them up. The nuts brought great joy especially when Mario packed them in his sweater pockets and acted like a pregnant woman.

We laughed hysterically all the way back to the stroller as Mario kept “having babies” on the way back when the nuts fell out of his pockets. We dropped the nuts off at the stroller and headed down to throw more rocks in the river before riding home. Maria chimed “you need to take our river picture, mom!” We have a tradition of getting pictures at the river with each season. Fall is not technically here but it felt like it this morning at 50 degrees.

We left the river two hours after arriving – a tad longer than we would have been at a church – and felt all the more rejuvenated and full of spirit as we eased into a Sunday afternoon.

Weeding can be fun?

September 12, 2012September 12, 2012Leave a comment

We weeded the garden and raked the leaves for the second night in a row. How excited I was to get an encore from M&M!

I attempt to weed with them but every time I go to plant myself amongst the ivy or ragweed one of the kids yells “Mom, come look at how good I am doing!” I go to one of them and praise their work and the other shouts “Mom, come look at my work!”

They both did awesome jobs pulling up patches of weeds lining the border of the garden out back. Mario likes the tall weeds by the vegetable garden and Ri likes the short, stout weeds by the back fence.

I have read all sorts of articles on gardening but have never really gotten the kids out in our back yard as much as I wanted. They helped plant the vegetable garden in early summer and they help place rocks around the gardens but don’t really dig in the dirt and weed or tend to the flowers. Why?

Probably has to do with their parents not doing too much! Neither Jon nor I have the “green thumb” of the family. We get things done to keep the yard and garden looking decent but our first priority on weekends has not been spending hours in the yard.

But I have to admit that it has been enjoyable and relaxing the last two nights to stay home and work together as a family on beautifying the yard. Maria is more and more into science so I could use this time in the dirt and flowers to learn about science. Mario has always loved to help outdoors and discover pill bugs and butterflies. I have been transformed. By no means a full-fledged gardener nut but at least more appreciative of the art and tranquility of the process.

We had to end the night with a leaf pile for the kids to jump in to celebrate our hard work and to commemorate the beginning of the end of Summer. It wasn’t gargantuan in size but still provided lots of laughter and smiles like any leaf pile should.

Three Days of Ox

September 10, 2012September 10, 2012Leave a comment

Maria is at a new stage in her life where she gets excited about school festivals because “her friends will be there.”

We had our community annual Ox Roast on Thursday, Friday and Saturday this weekend. On Thursday, she begged me to take her and her friend to the Roast. I had just suffered an atrociously long day at work but I remembered being her age and looking so forward to these festivals to play and hang out with friends. So I agreed.

There weren’t too many other sucker parents down there! But the girls had a blast after spending $25 on “all you can ride” wristbands for them. I drew the line at the $5 games where you try to shoot in a hole or toss a bag in bucket because we rarely win and when we do, the prize is cherished for three minutes and then tossed.

Maria loved rock climbing – she got to the top easily (even in flats!).

She went on the swings because her friend begged her. Unfortunately, she is inflicted with her mom’s intolerance for circular motion at high speed. She looked green after that ride. So we chilled it out with the calm slide and more rock climbing.

When Ri’s stomach was still little queasy, we went real low key with the baby bathtub ride. I didn’t think Ri would ever still go on this ride but she surprised me (her stomach probably begged her). It took me back to when she was a toddler.

I finally dragged them out of there at 8:45 and we grabbed some nutritious fair food on the way.

On Friday morning, Mario found out that Ri had gone to the festival. He cried and cried about not going. So, I promised to take him Friday night. Yeah, I’m a sucker. Ri and Mario and I got on our bikes and headed down to the Roast after I got home from work. I knew that we’d be back on Saturday so I put my foot down on wristbands. I allowed them to ride on two rides each and then they scored a free ride on the slide because of a change in shifts. Mario found the cotten candy booth and they engorged themselves on extra big sticks of goo.

On Saturday, Maria had a party for one of her classmates at 2:00. I thought that she may be tired after that party and want to chill. Yeah right. We came home and her and Mario begged for more Ox Roast. I thought maybe there would be a prize for hitting it three nights in a row but the only prize was spending a boat load of cash on rides and bounceys, and food. Not really, the prize was letting the kids have these experiences, watching them laugh, letting them boost their courage (Mario went down the slide without me for once!), and teaching them that life is what you make it. When I wouldn’t let them play the $5 games, they whined for a minute but then I told them about everything else that was there and they quickly let it go and ran to the swings to play.

I was spent on Saturday night when we got home at 9:30 but it was a good kind of spent like when you run a fast race or work for hours in the yard. Documentation of the fun:

Walleye and chocolate

September 6, 2012Leave a comment

Mario was born to be outdoors. He proved to us that he could be the Wildman’s partner the way that he caught Pikachu over the weekend (with all the pomp and circumstance that Ernie the Wildman exhibits when catching a river turtle)! The past two days he visited the farm and caught fish, including a walleye. My dad informs me that he could sit on his fishing boat for hours waiting for the big catch. He’s been talking about hunting and fishing with Jon since age 3 – I think he’s ready to go full throttle now that he’s five.

Meanwhile, Maria got to stay home with Jon and me. She wasn’t too upset since I told her we’d enjoy some mother-daughter time. She loves when we get to hang out without those pesky boys. We let dad join us for dinner but then we took a bike ride through Grandview.

We picked up her friend, Lucia, and biked to Pure Imagination Chocolatier. The store just opened down the street. Can you pack on 20 pounds to my belly now and get it over with?! It is a piece of heaven in there with gelato, chocolate Oreos, chocolate coconut, chocolate turtles….I got four pieces and ate them all within 10 minutes. So much for savoring the taste!

Ri and I biked home. She talked to me about her friends and I talked to her about how I used to handle difficult friends. The conversation made me happy – I’m glad she feels comfortable opening up to me. She begged me to lay with her for the second night in a row and rub her back while she fell asleep.

Gladly.

Big Darby Field Trip – to be a second grader…

August 30, 2012August 30, 2012Leave a comment

I came home from my morning run to an outraged son. “Don’t talk to me mom! You didn’t take me on your run this morning!” He had crawled in bed with me at 6 am and asked to go. I ignored him and told him to go back to bed. Then I couldn’t. So I got up at 6:30 and took off while he laid in bed looking like a life-sized doll baby. Jon settled him down by reminding him that he gets to take off school tomorrow and go to Big Mario’s with Jon… and get donuts. His anger subsided greatly.

Maria and I ran around trying to get our extra clothes and shoes and lunches together for Maria’s school field trip to Big Darby Creek. I promised her I would come and frankly, this trip seemed right up my alley with all the hiking and creeking. She looked adorable with her striped socks pulled up to her knees and her running shorts.

She stayed with her friend Ceylone most of the day. I think she likes Ceylone because Ceylone lets her take care of her. Ceylone cried that a bee was near her and Ri came to the rescue and shooed it away. Ceylone’s feet hurt on our walk to see the bison and Ri stayed with her until her mom brought new shoes to her. She likes to play the mama hen.

The trip was well organized with a sensory activity first, a field activity second and a creek activity last. The guides were very passionate about their topic and kept most of the kids engaged. For the first activity, the kids had to make a circle with a string and describe everything they saw in the circle. Ri found grass and leaves and dirt and moss. They had to smell it and describe how it felt.

For the field activity, we had to walk what seemed like a mile out to a field. I could not believe how good the kids were throughout the trek. Ri never complained once. The guide in the field was an older gentleman who obviously loved insects. He knew all about them and got the kids excited about catching them.

It took Ri and I a while but we finally caught a beetle. I can’t remember the official name of the beetle but it was cool. A couple of kids found praying mantis’ which were exquisite to observe. We also saw a stick bug – an insect I’ve never seen. They look extra-terrestrial to me.

We had quite the hike back to lunch. I ate in 3 seconds I was so hungry. Maria seems to also choose friends who get a big lunch packed for them and barely eat any of it. Ceylone gave Maria her Oreos and all of her crackers. Maria gave her a bear hug in return.

The creek was lots of fun because it was so hot and the water felt cool. The kids got to hold a screen in the water while other kids did a “dance” near it to try to rough up the mud and rocks. The hope was to get macro invertebrate to move onto the screen and then take it up to the sitting area to see what we got. When someone asked if we could catch fish, the guide said no and asked why. Maria answered “because fish have back bones.” My smart girl!

Maria acted the leader role during the creek activity. She held the screen and commanded the other kids to “dance” and get the invertebrates moving! I worry she may have a career in the Army some day the way she shouts out orders. The kids found lots of goodies with crayfish being the most exciting. And Maria was not scared to pick them up.

On our walk back, I got to talk to Maria’s teacher and learn a little bit about her. She is great for Ri – very open and honest and into the outdoors. I don’t know if Ri held her hand more or mine on the trip! As we were about to leave the trail, we spotted a baby toad. What a gift to end the day. I got to hold one of my favorite creatures with Ri.

The kids got to ride the bus home soaking wet since there was no time to change. Ri thought that was cool. And to top the day, Ri got to take her classroom pet, Pikachu the chinchilla, home for the weekend. Jon and I are so excited!

Thank god for BOB

August 29, 2012Leave a comment

Monday morning I woke up and found Mario staring at me. His little face was 6 inches away from me at the most. His tender eyes looked straight into mine. What a doll baby, I thought. I laid with him for a few minutes just staring back at him enjoying the silence and stillness of the early morning next to my son. And then he spoke: “can I go on a run with you, mom?”

I crawled my tired self out of bed contemplating whether I would say yes or not. I enjoy my solitude on my morning runs while I listen to NPR and think through my day. But Mario sat up and clasped his hands together and begged and begged. “Please, mom, I will be good. Please let me go.” I got dressed and scooped him up and we went downstairs together. I made him a graham cracker with peanut butter and gave him the iPad and we were off. A good four mile run with a stop at Giant Eagle for a donut (yeah, my healthy addiction to exercise is tamed by my un-healthy addiction to sugar). When we got home, Maria was microwaving some macaroni to eat for lunch. The girl slams out her lunch everyday with no help from me or Jon. She is good.

The next morning, I woke up to two little people laying on either side of me. Maria was towards my back side and she poked me with her finger. “Can I go on a run with you today, mom?” Of course, being Ms. Fair, I didn’t feel like I could say no since I had taken Mario the day before. Mario piped up after hearing Ri and begged to come, too. I agreed that they could both come with me, and we were off for Round Two. Of course, strollering Mario is a rather easy task. Forty pounds feels like a feather to me after carrying my muscle girl for all of those years (she was forty pounds at age 2 and a half!). But put Maria and Mario in the stroller and it gets to be a workout. I am essentially pushing 110 pounds of human weight. The BOB site warns against going over 100 pounds in the double stroller but we have gotten away with it for a while. That stroller was the best purchase I have made since having these two babes. It has taken us everywhere and has to have over 1000 miles logged on it easily.

We did four miles and also made a stop at Giant Eagle for donuts. We played the animal guessing game together and talked about what our favorite foods were to eat (imagine, donuts!). When we got home, I tried to help the kids out of the BOB but they shooed me away because I was “so sweaty.” I told them they would be just as sweaty after they strollered their kids around. Maria responded: “I will drive.” Then she changed her mind and decided she would bike because it is not as bad for the environment and you don’t sweat as much. Always thinking.

Last night, I told them both that I had to go on a run today by myself. They both agreed that they would not beg to come with me. When I woke up this morning and began to descend the stairs, I heard Mario cry “Mom?” I walked up the stairs to his room. He looked at me in distress and cried “I just can’t stand the thought of not going on a run with you, mom! I can’t stand it!” I walked him into Maria’s room because her light was on. She was lying in bed and I laid Mario next to her. She loved that. I kissed them both and told them I would be back in an hour. They laid there without any complaining. Little darlings. When I returned home, Maria was pouring syrup on a waffle she made for Mario and Mario was playing on my iPad. I asked Ri how the morning went, and she told me that her and Mario sat on the front steps and watched the sun rise. Huh?!

I looked at her awkwardly and she looked back at me and said “What? Mario wanted to see the sun rise!” I love these crazy kids so much (so much that I will still stroll them around at ages 7 and 4!).

The many uses of the BOB:

Chillin’ out!

Mario taking control!

My cousin Maggie summed it up the best with a video of my Uncle Ken running around his pool with “the Olympic torch” as we all cheered him on: “Just a typical Sunday with the Heile family. Olympics style.”

I give my Heile clan kudos for letting go of any stress, work issues, family problems, and just having a good ol’ time on the weekend. Jon and I and the kids traveled down to Cincy on Sunday afternoon after the kids pestered us all morning about having to wait so long to leave. They were so excited about heading to Aunt Susie’s and Uncle Kenny’s pool. They have the best of all worlds with me and Jon in the water with them all afternoon, cousins throwing them everywhere, and aunts and uncles acting silly. When we arrived, Susie was busy getting the “torches” lit and putting up the “Welcome to the Heile Olympics” signs. She and Lia planned this Olympics party and came up with a great list of pool and field games. Lia had to go at the last-minute so Susie directed them through the day, and was a stellar emcee. It was H2 versus H3 (the second generation Heile clan versus the third generation). I am always a go-between since I grew up with the H2 clan but I am technically a H3 baby.

We started with the pool games. “Biggest Splash” was the first event. Maria and Mario gave it a try but Jon and Uncle Joe took them by storm. Joe ended up with the win but it was contested by Jon! We moved onto “Chicken.” Maggie got on my shoulders. Maria got on Cy’s shoulders. Konnor got on Joe’s shoulders. Maggie and I were out for the count within a minute. Maria held tight and battled with Konnor. Her little butt clenched up like crazy trying to stay on top of Cy. She is a fighter! And they won! They were so cute together – Cy threw her into the air and they hugged. Her face was lit up like she had won a date with Big Time Rush.

The last event was the volleyball game. God love my aunts and uncles. They range in age from a few years older than me to 60 and they played like they were 23 years old. We whooped on the H3 clan – they couldn’t handle Joe’s spikes and Ken’s slaps and Christina’s, Susie’s and Jane’s strategic moves. Julie and I may have been the weakest link along with Jon who in the beginning of the game belted out a game plan and asked “Who is the weak link of our group?” As a result, Julie and I kept giving him grief each time he missed the ball (but to his credit, he ended up making some killer shots). We took two out of three games and headed to the dinner table for some chicken and brats. Maria “surfed” while we ate; she used a plastic kick board to stand on and try to balance herself. She was pretty good. Mario played cornhole with Papa Rod and baseball with Uncle Kenny. Later, he taught Gracie how to throw a beanbag for cornhole. Watching the two of them out in the yard together was about the sweetest thing ever. He coddles her like a baby (he learned from his sis) and she looks up to him.

While we were taking goofy pictures with my iPad, someone yelled “Is she ok?” We looked over and Gracie was in the pool with water up to her nose. Mario was standing next to her and trying to hold her up as high as he could. Maggie jumped in and rescued Gracie. Mario stood in the water dumbfounded. Someone yelled “Mario, you are a hero!” He looked at me and smiled. And that was it. All night he proclaimed how he “saved Gracie.” When he woke up this morning, he called me in his room and said “Mom, can I skip school today since I saved Gracie yesterday?” He is gonna use that as long as he is able!

After dinner, we moved to the field games. “Best Cartwheel” was first. I got robbed, and lost to Konnor. He had a nice touch but I think mine was a tad more precise. I didn’t put up a fight, though. Trying to teach the kids how to be good losers. Mario got upset when he didn’t win every game; he handled it better than he has in the past but he definitely made each activity a full-blown competition. Susie used stick horses for the equestrian competition and had the competitors run around obstacles “on their horse.” It was hilarious. I tried to keep Mario busy when they announced the winner so that he wouldn’t get upset that he didn’t win.

The last game was “Flip Cup.” I had no interest in the game because it was a drinking game, and I figured I may need to help Jon with the drive home. But the cousins begged me to play since the H2 team was down a person. I agreed. I stood on one side of the table with my aunts Julie and Christina and Susie and my uncle Joe. All of these wonderful people who took care of me when I was little and here I was on their team cheering for them to guzzle beer and flip a cup with enough precision to land it upside down. Gotta love it. We got slammed by the younger generation (who probably plays it every other weekend), and we were not happy about it. We were especially not happy about it after chugging a few beers in a ten minute period of time. In the second round, we were down again, and I was the only one left standing of my team (the youngsters voted everyone else off the island (some type of survivor game they incorporated into the Flip Cup game as well)). Some how, the competitive spirit in me arose (Mario was standing next to me now that I think about it). I chugged all five beers and flipped over all five cups in world record time and got to vote one of the youngsters off the island. I did it the next time, too. And the next. By the time it was just down to Maggie and Laura against me, I was two sheets to the wind. I hurt bad. I haven’t drank that fast in a long time, and not Natural Light. But my boy was staring up at me and telling me I could do it – my inspiration – so I did it! I whooped those girls up and down and won for the H2 generation!

Maggie and Liz grabbed me up after my celebratory dance and told me we were going to do a victory lap around the pool. If I had my senses I would have realized that they were my competition so it would not have made sense for them to do a victory lap but that is if I would have had my senses. I ran with them and within four seconds, I felt a hand shove me into the pool. I was spent. Maria jumped into the pool to rescue me. She carried me over to the steps and pushed back my hair from my eyes. Mario ran over to Maggie and Laura and shouted at them for pushing his mom into the pool. Jon began to throw Laura into the pool on my behalf. My immediate family sure takes care of their mama bear.

I can’t imagine life without this crazy crew. We all have different interests, tastes, political affiliations, styles, hobbies but we all let it go when we get together. We rely on our history together: our memories of times at grandma’s and grandpa’s house playing in their backyard and our times at weddings watching all of the Heile women and girls do the chicken dance and our times at holiday gatherings joking with one another and sharing stories. I am so grateful that Maria and Mario get to experience this crew just like I did as a child. And they love it all as much as I loved it. Who wouldn’t?!