Category: Parenting

Welcoming in the New Year

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This New Year is being brought in with potato chips, Taco Doritos, Gatorade, Wii Sports and telephone calls to grandmas and grandpas. 

The girls dancing to Justin Bieber

We completed our last round of party hosting last night with Jon’s family coming over for an afternoon and evening soiree.  Three of Jon’s brothers came over with their respective families, which led to ten little ones tearing through the house and ten older ones eating appetizers and drinking wine.  The kids range in age from 11 to 3.  They get along fairly well with the older two playing mother hens and the middle ones (like Maria) only butting heads with them every once in a while.  The girls wanted to be on their own to dance to Big Time Rush but the boys kept bothering them.  We finally got the boys upstairs by enticing them with swords and shields.  My niece, Shari (who is a year older than me!) brought her daughter and her daughter’s son, Isaiah who is a few months older than Mario.  Mario and Isaiah always wrestle one another when they meet up.  Isaiah has a good ten pounds on Mario and probably a good ten inches but Mario enjoys a tough match.  Isaiah is actually pretty passive with Mario.   Mario doesn’t understand that he would be pummeled if Isaiah used his natural strength.  One of these days, Isaiah may show him how tough he is, and Mario may learn not to provoke these boys so much.   Shari’s daughters are the two mother hens, and are loved dearly by Maria.  She loves to go over to their house and play, and they always come up with fun things to do.

The adults talked about old times, movies seen, and Urban Meyer.  The simple act of being together brings enjoyment to Jon and me.  We are glutton for punishment with all of these parties this year between all of the mess in the kitchen and the basement and the kids’ rooms.  But the chaos is well worth it when you hear the laughter and happiness echoing throughout the house.  And Mario got a new shovel from Kevin and Margie – he will love using that with Jon this year!

My aunts!

This morning I took a long run and packed up Maria and her cousin, Alana for a trip to Cincy.  Jon stayed home with Mario.  They bought new phones for the house and a new putter for Mario.  Their day consisted of playing golf, watching tv, wrestling, and playing golf again.  The girls and I headed to Cincy to see my aunts (my Aunt Terrie and her two boys came in from Georgia) and our cousins.  They all gathered at my Aunt Julie’s house, and when we walked in, the cousins informed me that they were taking Maria and Alana and I was going with my aunts to get a facial.  Not bad news at all! 

My aunts and I went to Macy’s for the facial – they told me I needed one now that I was 40!  The cousins walked around the mall hitting the toy stores and Disney store.  Maria and Alana enjoyed teasing the boy cousins and slapping them around.  They put up with a lot from these gals. 

Maria and some of her cousins

The girl cousins give me no reason to fear leaving the kids with them – they have a way to make things fun but orderly.  It was a gift to have some alone time with my aunts and to get all pampered up.  We are so goofy together talking about how hot we are and how we’re looking 20.  I love them dearly.  And my cousins, I adore them for their love and commitment to family.  When we got home from facials, all of the cousins were working on a puzzle on my aunt’s floor.  Some were watching tv more than working on the puzzle but they all sat together ribbing each other and having a good, relaxing time.  They are good role models for Ri and Mario.

And that leads us to tonight.  I have been writing this blog off and on for the last three hours.  Besides eating chips, we played Scavenger Hunt, read books, and played on our electronic devices.  At one point, Mario played on my Iphone, Maria on my Ipad, and me on my computer.  Definitely a sign of the times.  I made us put the electronic devices away before the ball dropped though.  With five minutes to go, we sat on the couch together.  We watched the ball drop at midnight huddled in a mass and giving one another the first kisses of 2012!

Bringing in the New Year (Mario ditched the phone before the ball dropped!)

Living in the Moment

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I am in full-blown new year’s resolution mode.  Thinking of what I want to change in 2012 and what I want to do better.  Trying not to beat myself up for the things I did not get accomplished in 2011.  Trying to recognize the things that I did accomplish.

Livin' in the moment at Darby Creek

One thing I worked really hard at this past year was being in the moment – with the kids, with Jon, with family, with work colleagues, with running, with wrapping presents, with washing dishes.  I recognize the times that I achieve this task because I walk away from the moment feeling fulfilled.  I still remember two years ago at our old house.  I had picked up Maria and Mario early from daycare in order to spend the afternoon with them.  We got home, picked out some chips and sandwiches and sat in the front yard for a picnic.  My phone rang.  I picked it up.  It was work.  I began to discuss an issue with my colleague.  I continued to make faces at M&M trying to show them I was there with them even though I was on the phone.  After 10 minutes, Maria rose up from the picnic and walked to the sidewalk.  She looked angry.  I tried to push my colleague to the end of the conversation but she kept talking.  Maria started crying.  I realized what I had done and hung up the phone.  I walked Maria and Mario to the alley in the back of the house.  We put Mario in his plastic “car” with a long handle on the back.  Maria went behind him and grabbed the handle.  We took off all the way down the alley.  Mario looked back at us laughing hysterically.  Maria looked up at me giggling.  And I breathed in that moment in order to have it forever.  Two years later I remember it like it was an hour ago.  That is what I want more of for 2012.  More clear moments with family and friends and myself where I allow myself to be fully present.

This poem by Mary Oliver is pasted on my desk and it always reminds me to live more in the moment: 

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

A little empty

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The kids went to the farm to hang out with Mama Meg and Peepaw for a couple of days since Jon and I had to work this week.  Jon and I went to dinner tonight and as we sat waiting on our lobster dip appetizer, we both lamented about how we miss M&M. 

M&M enjoying the woods this Summer

We get so excited at the thought of a night to ourselves but inevitably we both admit that we miss having M&M around us.  We miss their raptor-like hugs, their laughter, their off-the-wall comments, their excitement, their energy, and their sweet kisses goodnight. 

They are having a grand time with their grandparents – hiking around the farm, running with the animals, and playing board games.  And we are glad.  Very glad.  Very happy… but just a little empty.

Recognizing the working mom AND the stay-at-home mom

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I read an article in Time magazine this morning (Working Moms = Healthier and Happier) as I sat on one of the most boring conference calls of my career.  I had my venti miso and a slice of banana nut bread, however, which I enjoyed thoroughly in my quiet office free of screaming kids.

My initial reaction to the article was one of relief.  After all of these years of battling the guilty mother syndrome, studies vindicated that my decision to work was a smart one.  I would be healthier and happier than my friends who decided to stay at home with their children.  I wanted to call all of my mommy friends and announce the news; throw a party at the office for my mama colleagues.  But after 10 minutes of jubilation, I thought back to an article years ago that reported that studies showed working moms produced less attentive, more needy kids.  I thought about my reaction to that article – how I could not fall asleep that night because I questioned whether I was doing the right thing for M&M.  I doubted my love for M&M if I would choose to work everyday and not be home with them.  I scoured the internet to find articles that affirmed my decision to be a working mom.  And then I took a deep breath.  Turned off the computer. And took M&M out for a bike ride. 

M&M enjoying their bikes

I tune out these articles anymore because in the end, don’t they all say the same thing? The more love and support and encouragement that you provide to your children, the better off they will be in this world.  If I stayed at home all week with M&M, I do not think I would feel as fulfilled and as balanced as I do as a working mom.  I can’t say that for sure, and maybe in another life I will find that being a stay-at-home mom is the most incredible experience ever, but in my current life, this is how I feel.  I have worked hard to get to where I am professionally, and I enjoy the work that I do and the people I meet.  I want to be able to retain my connections and continue to work because I know that I will want that when M&M are older and in their own lives.  When they go off on their own in high school and college, I want to have my career and colleagues intact.  And I don’t feel like because I have my career now that I am forever scarring them. 

Happy Ri

did have my doubts when they were younger, and I still think that in a perfect world moms should be able to stay home for the first year of a newborn’s life (maybe the US will adopt Germany’s approach), but that was not a possibility for me at the time.  I had Maria when I was in the prime time of my career – six years out of law school and gaining expertise in the employment law area.  Again, who knows?  Staying at home at that time may have been better in some ways for Ri or even for me, but decisions have to be made with the facts at hand in the moment, and at that moment, I thought that I should stay in my profession and be a mom, too. 

I don’t like that the articles about stay-at-home moms versus working moms seem to pit one group against the other.  I don’t want to be one of those corporate moms that looks at a stay-at-home mom eating lunch with her kids and chides “Must be nice to stay home all day…huh?”   And I also don’t want to be the stay-at-home mom who shoots a condescending look to the working mom who just divulged that her kids go to day care because she works during the week.  I want to be the mom who sits around with other moms and appreciates that we are all different in our wishes and desires and hopes and dreams – for ourselves and our children.  What is right for me will not be right for everyone and that is OK.  M&M are pretty happy kids (albeit ornery at times, but happy!) and I don’t think that came out of the blue.  Jon and I worked our butts off loving them and holding them (all night long on many a night) and recognizing them and believing in them.  Let’s get some studies that recognize moms for those simple yet indispensable tasks.

Happy Mario

One down, three to go, two down two to go, three down, one to go…Finish Line!

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Christmas 2011

And so we end another Christmas season with toys scattered across the floor, chocolate wrappers lingering on coffee tops, and pants unbuttoned to make room for the holiday food resting snuggly in our bellies.  It feels like someone stood me up in the middle of a large room, twirled me around at lightening speed for three minutes straight, and then let me go.  Dizzy, light-headed, and a little lost but the excitement was well worth it. 

We started out with our Christmas Eve at my mom’s house and then my cousin Laura’s house (formerly my Grandma and Grandpa Heile’s home).  My mom’s house is always a whirlwind because we only have about 45 minutes to say hi, open presents, and get ready for Laura’s.  My mom agreed this year to limit the presents for the kids and ourselves but it still seemed like we gave too much even though the kids ripped through the presents in ten minutes.  My mom scored big this year with Ben Ten paraphernalia for Mario and Pet Shop and Barbie for Maria.  Each present that Maria opened garnered a big ol’ smile and a big ol’ gasp when she saw it no matter if she loved it or not.  What a ham and a sweetheart since I had told her it makes people feel good when you smiled and acted happy while opening a gift.  After the gift opening, Mario hit the treadmill for a bit (my mom calls it her $1000 toy for the kids) and Maria looked for food in the kitchen.  After we raided the cheese and crackers, we headed to Laura’s house.  

M&M iwth Robert, Kristen, and Cy

It is still strange for me to see my little cousins all grown up with Laura the oldest at 27 and Konner the youngest at 14.  The girl cousins are all in the 20-something range and lavish Maria with love and advice on how to deal with boys, how to brush her hair, and how to be polite.  The boy cousins rough house with Mario and teach him wrestling moves.   While teaching Mario moves, Robert commented to Mario that he was acting like a girl.  This comment threw Mario into a state of deep depression.  Jon and I found him outside of the house sulking and he finally told us why.  Jon, our family protector, had a few words with Robert, and he told Mario he was sorry and he was only kidding.  I would have never dreamt that such a comment would have bothered him, but you never quite know with Mario what he is going to take to heart.  The other day he was upset because Mr. Park made fun of his sweater by saying it wasn’t “ugly sweater day”; Mario went in the corner and sulked until Park told him he was only kidding. 

While the cousins entertained M&M, I talked with my aunts.  They always seemed so much older than me since I was a pre-teen and they were in their late teens or twenties.  Completely different worlds at that point.  But now I have a kinship with them since we all have or are experiencing a lot of the same – kids, jobs, mortgages.  Most of us have the bond of motherhood – we talk about how to deal with temper tantrums, moments we cherish with the kids, moments we wish we could forget and everything in between.  These women raised me and each time I see them, memories of my times with them flood through my head.  We enjoy the brief time we have together over the holidays with the male family members watching football and engaging in small-talk about hunting or sports or the latest event in the news.  This is home to me – this is what I have known since I was a newborn and it is comforting. 

Trying to get a picture of the cousins...!

The kids opened presents after dinner.  Every kid gets another kid’s name and acts as his/her secret santa.  However, Maria and Mario scored gifts from all of the aunts.  They had a boatload of presents to unwrap.  I was so proud of them as they tore through the presents.  Maria got a book she already had at home but she acted surprised and said thank you to my aunt (and then looked at me and gave me a nod).  Mario said thank you to every person that gave him a gift even before he opened it.  He got a bow and arrow from Robert and Cy (his cousins whom he idolizes).  Maria got i Carly lip gloss from Aunt Jane. 

After gifts, we talked and laughed a while longer and then hit the road for Columbus.  I still had to wrap a few gifts and get Maria’s Barbie Dream House out of the garage.  I am still so charged about that purchase – $30 from a fellow Grandview mom and it does not even look used.  Maria had no idea.  I just could not fathom buying a $150 dream house when I knew she would play with it for a short time and move on to something else.  Mario kept begging us for a Boy Barbie Dream House for him.  All I could imagine was a house with frat boys waiting for the “barbies” to show up. 

The kids fell asleep right when we left for Cincy (miracle), and did not get up until 7:45 am.  Nice present.  Maria stood by my side at 7:45 trying to cough gently to arouse me from sleep and then Mario, sleeping beside me, bolted up.  Is it Santa time?! We threw on sweatshirts and headed downstairs to see if Santa decided we were good this year.  THe kids tore through their presents with Mario getting Ben Ten everything and Maria getting random presents like a robe, drawing stuff and a Leapster reading game.  She walked over to Jon towards the end and said “I don’t think I will get the dream house because it is expensive.” When I brought it our for her, she nearly passed out.  She was so excited. 

My parents came to the house around 10 am and the kids got showered with more presents.  Overload city.  The kids tore through the next round with Mario again scoring mega Ben Ten toys and Maria getting serious bling from Mama Meg (she is known for getting Maria some sweet sweat suit get-ups!).  After we opened up our presents, the rest of the Menkedick crew arrived.  My 91-year-old grandma made the trip, which made the day for me.  Jon’s parents also arrived early to have dinner with us.  The dinner went off without a hitch except that we had to use my parents’ apartment down the street to cook one of the casseroles!  How do people make big holiday dinners with just one stove?! 

The Menkedick and Ionno clan with Grandma M. at the left

During dinner, Patty recognized my grandma for raising my uncle Bill and my dad all by herself.  She commended her for raising such wonderful “boys”.  I was so glad that she spoke up and recognized my grandma.  I don’t know how many people I have talked to about how amazing my grandma is for raising my dad and my uncle in the 1950s all on her own.  Never re-marrying.  Taking them on trips every year.  Making sure they were fed and went to good schools.  As open as my family is, we tend to shy away from sensitive subjects when we get together.  In our defense, we don’t all get together too often, so when we do, we want to keep the conversation light and upbeat.  But surprisingly, the conversation remained light and honorable.  My grandmother received much-deserved praise and gratitude from all at the table (even if she didn’t fully recognize it) and we continued to laugh and enjoy one another’s company.  

M&M and their cousins

After a big ol’ dinner and big ol’ dessert (peanut butter chocolate pie), we opened yet another round of presents.  After an hour, we finished the unwrapping (we go around with each person opening one gift at a time).  Five minutes later, Patrick and my niece and nephew arrived for dinner.  Rock-n-roll!  We switched out the table-cloth, got out new plates and silver, and began making the dinner.  Maria and Alana danced to Big Time Rush and Giovanni and Mario took a walk with me to the park.  I needed some fresh air after a non-stop day indoors.  Besides it was 42 degrees out – balmy for Christmas. 

We returned home for wedding soup, ham, green beans almondine, and potato casserole.  Mario had a break down because he wanted to sit next to Alana and Maria wanted to sit by her alone.  Maria eventually gave in to him like she typically does – Mario has it really good with her.   After dinner, we opened the last round of presents.  I think my cousin’s son summer it up well earlier in the day when I asked him if he is ready for his presents.  He replied “I have opened up too many presents today.”  Fortunately, I don’t think any of the Ionno kids felt that way and how could they with the big bags of goodies that Patty brings for them? 

The babes enjoying the season

When everyone left at 9 pm, Jon and I collapsed on the couch.  Absolutely exhausted but absolutely elated.  A NPR commentator summer it up well when she spoke about her holidays.  She told a story about experiencing the same exhaustion we had and her husband asking her why she drove herself to such a state.  She hosts holiday gatherings in order to honor her family.  I thought that was such a profound and relevant statement for me this year.  The joy I experienced in sitting with my Heile clan that I have grown up with all my years; the warmth I felt in sitting with my Menkedick brood that I cherish and respect; and the happiness I experienced in sitting with my Ionno family at the end of the night brought it all together in one tidy Christmas present for me.  The best present I could ask for 2011.

Eat Pray Love… and weeping

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I watched the end of Eat Pray Love last night. I paid money to see it in the theatre and left after the first 45 minutes.  When I told my girlfriends that I left, they shook their heads at me.  “You missed Javier Bardem.  That is a shame.”

They were so right.

What a gorgeous creature he is and what a gentle, caring, HOT man he played in the movie.  In one scene, his 19-year-old son comes home from college for a few days and he weeps as his son heads back to school.  His emotion was so raw in the scene that I felt I was right there with him feeling the loss of Maria or Mario as they left for school.  He also falls madly in love with Julia Roberts, takes her shopping and brings her cures for hangover after a night of partying.  Do they get any better?! Actually, Jon pulled all 50 of my bobby pins out of my hair the night of our wedding when I drank a little too much out of pure exhilaration for the day so he ranks up there with Javier.   

Fast forward 15 years in their dorm rooms!

Back to Javier’s weepy departure with his son.  I wept for 15 minutes in my family room after I watched that scene.  I thought of Maria and Mario heading off to college, scared but also ready to be on their own, creating their own memories with friends, learning who they are, putting themselves to bed (that did quickly bring a smile to my face).  I try every day to teach them something new or bring a smile to their face or listen to their stories.  And every once in a while I wonder “does it even matter?”  Will Maria and Mario grow up to be better off because I read them one more book or I pushed aside my work projects to listen to them perform a song? Will they miss me or shun me when they head off to college?  Will they only call me when they need rent money or will they call me to talk about dating issues? 

Fast forward to Maria in her chair at college!

Yeah, all of those thoughts from a ten second scene of a dad kissing his son goodbye and weeping.  Truly, I must be PMS.  But, alas, I could (and often do) bog my mind down with 550 different questions and concerns about what my children will be like at the age 20: whether they will confide in me as they get older; whether they will feel a bit more secure and confident in this world because of Jon’s and my actions; whether they will charge into the world with a free mind.  One of the ways I try to stop myself from engaging in such a stress-filled activity is by closing my eyes and practicing gratitude for the opportunity I have been given to be with them at this time.  I appreciate the moment I put my work down and read Curious George instead.  I enjoy listening to Jingle Bells being sung off-key and misquoted rather than finishing the dishes.  I am thankful that I can head to the park and run around the swing set acting like a monster out to get them. 

Fast forward to Mario dancing in his dorm room!

No matter what occurs with them in the future, I know that I have given myself to Maria and Mario.  I have dived into the pool of motherhood and swam far underneath.  If they forget me when they are 20, then they forget me.  Eventually they will come back again.  And I will be there with wide open arms.  Because that is part of parenting.  Ups and downs, great times and horrible ones.  You have to be willing to let yourself dive into the water with the risk of sinking for a while.  It is only when you go far underneath that you see all the wonders of it  too.  And the wonders are too awesome to miss.

Mario’s brain

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Mario is killin’ Jon and me.  He will not go to bed at night; he wants one of us to lay with him until he falls asleep.  The hard part is that he is simply not tired.  I can lay in bed with him for an hour and a half and he will not go to sleep.  He still takes two-hour naps at school and I know that is completely unhelpful.  He also is a natural night owl.  His energy peaks at 9 pm. His poor sister is worn out by 9:30 and usually asleep in her bed by that time.  He turns on her light and plays in her room as she snores the evening away. 

This evening was the same as the rest. Jon and I sat downstairs talking and listening to the sound of tiny feet running around the hall upstairs.  Suddenly, we heard a whisper.  “Mom, mom….  Mom, I need you.”  I walked up the stairs to his room and he stood looking concerned.  “What is it, Mario?” 

“Mom, I went into Maria’s room and I pushed my hands into her stomach and she cried so I ran back into my room so she wouldn’t see me and I just don’t know why I did it, my brain just tells me to do bad things sometimes and I can’t stop it.  Breath.  What can I do?”  It seemed like a perfectly good “dad” question if I had ever heard it (even though I know my brain has gone down that path, too).  He ran down to talk to Jon about the situation, got some dad advice, and met me halfway down the stairs. 

“Mom, will you come upstairs with me to give Ria a hug?” 

The nutball!

At this point, I knew he was stalling bedtime, and I firmly quipped “No, Mario, get to bed!”  He looked at me and crossed his arms and ran up the stairs and shut his door.  I proceeded down the steps and before I hit the last, he opened the door and whispered “Mom, I will let you apologize for being mean.”  All I could do was chuckle.  

“Mario, I should not have said that in a mean tone.  I am sorry.” 

Mario looked at me for a few seconds and quipped “It’s ok, mom, you can just sleep with me to make up for it.”  He never misses a beat, or I should say, his brain never misses a beat.

Gratitude for Kittens

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I knew it would be easy to determine what the kids were grateful for today.  A white sherbet kitty with orange ears and orange tail.  Mama Meg left me an email about the kitty letting me know that Peepaw was bringing him into Columbus for a couple of nights until he took him to the SPCA to be adopted on Thursday morning.  Maria and Mario leapt with joy when I came home from work and told them we could head over to Peepaw’s apartment to see the munchkin. 

Maria with another kitty months ago

We bundled up in our sweatshirts (the weather is a turnin’) and hopped in our stroller to head three blocks to Peepaw’s apartment (one nice thing about the house move is we are closer to the apartment).  We stepped inside to find a rather mellow, chill kitty sitting next to Peepaw.  The kitty was definitely not like the kittens we have met in the past – the ones that jump everywhere, leap after everything, tear into anything.  This kitty allowed you to pet him and hold him and rub his ears.  What a doll.

Before too long, Maria and Mario had it with them in the bedroom under the bed.  They named him “Buster.” They tried to teach him how to go to the bathroom in the litter box.  They groomed him.  They kissed him.  They showed him the water bowl.  Maria held him in her arms while she sat on the couch and all I could see the entire time was me as a young girl with my cat (numerous cats throughout my childhood but only one at a time).  It is that image that drives me to want a cat for Maria.  I remember how much I loved my cats, and how much they loved me and laid with me all the time.   But Jon is allergic to them and when he finally could breathe after our previous two cats passed away, he swore no more cats.  Maria always asks “when dad dies, can we get a cat?”  (I don’t think she quite gets the severity of that question. Or maybe she does?!). 

Peepaw drove the kids home while I strolled the BOB back home (the wind was kickin’!).  We threw on our pjs and sat on the couch for two books before a tv show.  As I read the books, I watched their little faces.  Maria’s eyes intently glued on the pictures and Mario’s mind thinking about a question to ask.  I am so grateful for reading time with them.  I love when they interrupt me with questions or observations.  They are thinking and wondering.  A beautiful thing.

Thank god for little brothers

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I woke up to a rainy, grey, chilly morning.  A day made for snuggling with your babies and hubby in bed snoozing for an hour and then waking for a few minutes and then back to the snooze.  But the world continued to shout our names to wake up and greet it and Cy continued to bark our names to let him outside – so we had to pull our bodies out of bed. And get dressed.  Ugh. 

Dude-man and his girlfriend with Maria (happy with her barbie gift!)

I rushed Maria down to school just so we could participate in the Book Fair a half hour before her school started only to find out that there were no early hours for the fair that morning.  I waited with Maria for the first bell to ring and then rushed home to get dressed and ready for work.  As I tried to run from the bedroom to the closet, I tripped over a gym shoe and knocked my head into the door.  I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “it’s just gonna be one of those days.”  By the time I got to work, I was ready for chocolate.  I downed a snickers bar and a hot chocolate and started to work on a policy that I had been ignoring.  The phone rang off the hook with questions from clients.  My stomach hurt.  Ugh.

As I stared out the window mad about the day, I heard the ring of the computer telling me I had new mail.  I looked down and saw my brother’s name, jack menkedick, on my screen.  “Dude-man” as my sis and I call him.  Seventeen years my junior, he is a superstar musician and actor and one cool cat.  He had forwarded an article to me from The Onion, A Parenting Study.  It made me roar with laughter for the first time all day.  No more worries about how I am parenting – Maria and Mario are screwed no matter what!   How relieved I am to have found that study and to know that there is no parenting tactic that works any better than another – rock-n-roll!  And how awesome it is to have a little brother that thinks enough to send me an email that he knows will put a smile on my face on a dreary day.