The Mama Bear is in full force today. Hear me roar.
I thought I signed Ri up for soccer this past Spring with Kiwanis. Turns out I didn’t. But last week, I went to the first practice without Ri to ask the coaches if I could add her in the mix. They agreed. So Ri practiced last Thursday and actually enjoyed it! She wanted to keep playing. I, in turn, was even more excited since I’ve been wanting Ri to try soccer since she was two. She took a soccer ball home with her and was ready for practice tonight.
Then the email arrived at 8 am. It stated that Ri never registered and therefore could not play. The team was too full.
I wrote back and pleaded that she be let in since she already went to practice and got a ball and was so excited. No response. I emailed again asking if I could simply speak to someone for a few minutes. No response.
How obnoxious.
As a parent, I would at least have the courtesy to call a distressed parent back and talk through why the decision had been made. Maybe think of some alternatives. Maybe not. But at least give the courtesy of a call.
I get that there needs to be deadlines. I get there are rules. But really, we are talking 3rd and 4th grade girls here and a team that is not “competitive” in relation to a select team or the like. So why not bend the rules a bit to let a girl who wants to try out a sport try it? I’m annoyed even more that two women are the ones ignoring my request to talk. Shouldn’t us women try to help each other out when it comes to our daughters?
I know I’m blowing this up to be a much bigger issue than it is. Jon has better perspective: Ri will probably take it in stride and move on. I did fail to register her on time. She can join a team in the Spring. Move on, Mary.
But damn if it doesn’t just grate on me. Probably because I didn’t sign her up on time so I feel bad. And probably because I’ve been wanting Ri to play more sports. Ok, I see a lot of these are my own issues. But I also feel that non-competitive leagues at this age should be a bit more fluid in admission; and girls at this age should be given opportunities at every turn in order to grow and learn more about themselves and what they love and don’t love.
Ok, so I will move on now, or at least after I make one more call….
Mario time
It was just me and Mario for 24 hours straight on Saturday and Sunday morning. He played his football game Saturday morning with his dad on the sidelines (Jon is the videographer lately) and me shivering over on the fan side with some other parents. He got one unassisted tackle and I missed it – ugh!
We got home around noon and he dove straight to his iPad. He wanted me to watch him build a place in Roboblox. Now, I remember as a little girl begging my folks to watch Family Feud with me – a plea to which they routinely declined. I don’t particularly remember being heart-broken – I got my Doritos and planted myself in my bean bag but I am sure a part of me processed their denial as not wanting to be with me or not being interested in me. I see today that it was far from that reasoning – it was that they had two seconds to do something they had an interest in like reading a book or writing a story. Or maybe not even so idyllic – they had time to do laundry or wash dishes.
So when Mario asked me to watch him play, I agreed. But damn if I didn’t channel my parents as I watched him for five minutes and was ready to move on to a book or some chores. I hung in for a bit longer with him and then told him how impressed I was with his building. “What a cool spaceship you built in the middle of the field!” (I am quite sure that sitting with him for five minutes and acknowledging his work will do the trick – when he’s an adult, he will undoubtedly remember how much his mom was there for him…!).
After mowing, I got a text from the mom of one of his friends telling me that they were at a Taste of Grandview. Mario agreed to bike down to the event with me, which made my day. I love that time together. We talked the entire way down. Two of his buddies were down there when we arrived and were playing in a little patch of grass behind the food stands. They played football and played in the trees (throwing pine cones at one another – what fun!) for five hours straight. I could not believe it. We got down there at 3 pm and did not leave until close to 8. Another mom and I kept praying that maybe they’d go to bed as soon as we got home from exhaustion.
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Not so much – Mario is a night owl. We biked up to Stauf’s and ate a bagel. I told him how he used to love to go to Stauf’s with me and eat blueberry muffins and bagels. I’d break off the smallest pieces and dip them in cream cheese worried that he’d choke with any bigger pieces. Mario rolled his eyes at me and asked me to watch him play Wipeout on my phone. He thinks it’s hilarious to watch the person ram her head against the foam rollers or fall into the water. Boys. Then we biked home and talked about poop the entire way – easy to do with a boy. He was fascinated that certain foods weren’t digested and came out in your poop. The little things in life….
I promised him that I’d watch a movie with him – no computer or iPad on my lap as we watched (I’m really bad about that). We snuggled on the couch with popcorn and Milk Duds and watched Spiderman 2. I thought he’d surely doze off but that boy stayed up for the entire movie. It was 11 pm and he was still wide-eyed. I made him go to bed knowing that he’d be up at 6:30 am no matter what. He begged me to do “spider up his back” which entails me gently tickling the length of his back up through his hair and whispering “spiders crawling up your back….” He loves it and becomes completely relaxed by it. He was out in five minutes.
I carried him upstairs and tucked him in bed next to me. Little munchball boy. To my elation, he did not wake me up until 7:05 am. What a gift he gave me. And even then, he let me lay in bed as long as we could talk. Gladly. Poop came up as a subject again but so did other more appropriate topics. We laid and talked until 8 am. Heaven. Then we got up and started our day with waffles and chocolate chips and a trip to the grocery store. He helped me pick out food for the farm and found out that Kroger’s donuts are even better than Giant Eagle’s donuts! I know where we are heading every Sunday morning.
We got home and he helped me round up Rocco and his food. He even gathered up his books and markers for the back seat. Yea, he is definitely a keeper.
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Sweet Elena
Oh sweet Elena:
You are marshmallow goodness;
a flower petal;
a turquoise gem;
light from the midnight moon; cinnamon latte;
a fireworks explosion;
a 19th century poem;
a plump tangerine;
sweet blueberry pie topped with vanilla bean ice cream;
a songbird whistling in the early hours of the day.
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Immersion
I’m so in love with these munchos of mine I can hardly stand it. My heart expands to the size of a hot-air balloon when they show me a math problem they did or tell me a story they read in class. Those minds expanding and growing and full of questions and ideas. I just want to eat them up and tell them how special they are, over and over and over again.
We took a walk last night after dinner. We talked about random things – school, getting Rocco, how many babies they would have when they were older (Mario five and Ri six – heaven help is). These are some of my happiest moments during the week. No cell phones to answer. No friends to interrupt us. No homework to fight about. Just us talking about anything that pops up and laughing together. And laugh we do – a lot.
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I don’t know that I appreciated this time with the kids as much five years ago. It seems as the years float by, my awareness of the preciousness of this time with them deepens. I am immersed in the moment. I remember with preciseness the smile on Mario’s face as he gets pulled down the street by Rocco and the raucous laughter coming from Maria as Mario rolls around with her in the grass. Whoa, does that feel good and rich and grounding.
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Party Girl
I do believe that if Ri could spend every weekend at a friend’s house, she’d do it. She would not long to be home with us or cry for Jon or me in the middle of the night. She is a party gal.
She had to go to the Ox a Roast festival on the opening night – Thursday. She completely forgot that it was her brother’s birthday. I called the mom she was with over and over with no luck and then finally drove down to get her. And I see the two of them “hanging out” with plastic cups of lemonade (can we keep that beverage in those cups at age 18, please?). They were giggling and running around and loving life. I will give Ri credit – when I reminded her it was Mario’s birthday, she felt bad and wanted to run home. She continued to party it up for Mario’s birthday – getting all of his gifts lined up for him and singing as he opened them. >
She stole a big ol’ hug from Mario after he opened her present and demanded a smooch from him.
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She made sure we placed seven candles in his chocolate donuts (she wanted to give him seven donuts) and brought him in to sing to him.
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She got invited to a sleepover at Anna’s house on Friday night. Anna was under the weather a bit so they stayed home and skipped the Ox Roast. I texted Anna’s mom on Saturday to see how things were and she informed me that Ri didn’t want to come home. Lovely. Eventually, Anna and Ri came to our house and begged to go to the Ox Roast. I packed us up and we headed down for a wild and crazy night.
Mario ran around trying to find Quinn. He’s at the age where I don’t quite need to watch over his every move but I also am not comfortable just letting him go on his own all night. Ri, on the other hand, is at the age where the thought of me walking with her absolutely makes her quiver in embarrassment. I am slowly coming around to the idea that she can walk around on her own as long as it is a small area and I am present somewhere in that small area (it also took a couple of weeks to feel comfortable about her walking up the street alone to meet friends to walk to school – ugh!). So Ri and Anna took off on their own while I kept an eye on Mario.
And what’s the first thing he did? Win a goldfish. Petco has got to love the Ox Roast because every kid wins a fish and therefore needs a tank and food and accessories. Mario showed his fish off and then moved on to the rides. He found Quinn and rode a few with him.
He loves the wheel at the end of the Wacky House because he can run with all his might and not go anywhere. He thinks it’s hilarious. The guy running the House thought Mario was hilarious and let him stay in it for a long time.
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As he was running nowhere, Anna came rushing over to me screaming “Maria’s in the dunk tank!” Huh? I didn’t even know there was one. I grabbed her hand and ran over to the tank. There Ri was – all in pink, arms crossed, ready to get dunked.
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A couple of boys from her grade tried to get her (Will and Danny) but the quarterback of the football team achieved success. She loved it and got right back in line to do it again. Party animal.
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Mario wanted to dunk her so badly and got her on his first try.
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He then moved into line with Ri. Now, Mario loves to party, too but he hates getting wet. This is the kid who flipped out when his shorts got wet on the log flume at Kings Island. But he kept swearing to me that he’d be fine. He eventually got up on the seat and waited to be dunked.
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I believe the quarterback got him, too. As soon as he walked over to me afterwards, I saw him soaked and shivering.
“Mom, I wish I could reverse time and have listened to you.”
That is a rare admission and I soaked it up. I called Jon to come get him as we continued to watch Ri and her girlfriends get dunked over and over again.
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I eventually made Ri and Anna leave with me at 9 pm since Jon was at home watching the football game and I wanted to relax a bit with him. They sulked for a second but then dragged their feet to the car. Ri partied it up for a bit when we got home while Mario conked out on the couch immediately (that running to nowhere wore him out). Ri passed out after a bit on the chair.
The next morning, she came into my bedroom a bit bleary-eyed and stood next to me.
“Mom, can we go to the new MarketPlace and get some muffins. I need food in my stomach.”
Spoken like a true party girl. >
Happy 7th birthday Mario!
Happy 7th Birthday Mario!
Of course, we started it off right with a chocolate iced donut in hand. You have adored donuts since the womb when you used to kick each time I devoured one. You get your sweet tooth honestly. And you grew up loving to stroll to Tim Horton’s on Sunday mornings and eat ten timbits.
What have you been up to over this past year?
1. You dove off the high dive like it was nobody’s business. You just walked to the end of the board and dropped off. Last year, you would rarely make it up all the steps and if you did, you’d never get to the end of the board. This year, you acted like you had been doing it for years! My brave guy.
2. You learned how to play a mean Minecraft and Animal Jam computer game. I cannot get over how technology savvy you are. Your sis has assisted you with developing this talent. You can navigate the heck out of the World Wide Web and create worlds left and right on Minecraft.
3. You continued to master your fishing skills! You fished at Uncle Mario’s, Grandma Ionno’s and Peepaw’s houses and always somehow caught larger fishes than them (at least that’s your story and you’re sticking to it!).
4. You completed Kindergarten and started 1st grade! The beginning of Kindergarten was rough with lots of tears and pleas for dad and me to stay but you finished with a bang and now go to visit Mrs. Page every chance you get (you also wrote her a note at the beginning of this year that said “I miss you Mrs. Page.”). You are going into school all by yourself this year! We drop you off in front of the building, you jump out with your bookbag on your back, and wave goodbye. However, you are a little more ambivalent about school this year and would much rather stay home than head in each morning. Unfortunately, I have a feeling this may not go away in the next 12 years…
5. You have found a best buddy in Rocco. We got him two days after your 6th birthday last year and you have loved on him and wrestled him ever since. You continue to fret about him every time we let him out back without his shock collar on him. You yell at the top of your lungs “don’t let Rocco out without his collar; he may run away!” And when dad pulls up in the driveway, you stop Rocco in the yard and hold him until dad stops the car. As much as dad and I tell you to not wrestle Rocco, you can’t stop yourself. You hide under the blanket and let Rocco pull on you and hop on you and then you wrestle with him all over the family room. But you also love to cuddle with him and give him smooches.
6. You are playing tackle football! What the he–?! You look like a miniature pro in those pads. It’s strange how young you look in pictures from flag and how old you look just a year later. Not sure I dig that action….And you are no joke buddy. You love to tackle and you have taken your share of hits and popped back up smiling away. You are really loving it this year.
7. You have dissed the stroller! You are now completely embarrassed about riding in it and refuse to do it. This didn’t happen until the Summer but it was a quick transition. One day you were letting me stroller you to Giant Eagle and the next, you were hopping out of it as soon as you saw a friend walking down the street – and swearing to never go in it again. I understand why you’d be over it but it still breaks my heart that the BOB is relegated to the dump.
8. Not only did you go to your first Reds game, but you got your first professional autograph from Billy Hamilton and got a ball tossed to you from Billy Hatcher!
9. You participated in your first Boy Scout Day Camp and loved it! Dad took you a couple of days and Grandma Ionno took you for a couple and I met up with you one afternoon. Your favorite activities were shooting with a bow and arrow, fishing, and creeking. You were so excited to accomplish the different activities.
10. You got a bee bee gun and love to shoot it. You are begging for a bow and arrow from dad next…. You are a little outdoorsmen and if you could spend all day with your dad hunting, it would be an awesome day in your eyes.
But most of all what I remember about this past year is your zaniness and fierceness and curiosity and desire to make people laugh. You are an incredible kid, Mario Joseph, and you bring joy to so many people. Dad and I marvel at your grit and perseverance and at how much you’ve grown in a year’s time (you finally got to 55 pounds for football!).
I hope you continue to find humor in yourself and life in general. I hope you continue to love making people smile. I hope you continue to want to learn new things (not just computer games!). I hope you have a great school year and challenge yourself. I hope you continue to want me to read to you before bed. I hope you are grateful for all you have and share with others. I hope you get to go hunting with your dad this season. And I hope you know deep down inside how much you are loved. We are so glad that you are our son and that you grace our world every single day. Happy Birthday (and yes we ended the day with more sugar – chocolate donuts and ice cream!)!
Baltimore, Bucks, and Babies
Jon and I had a great time in Baltimore celebrating our anniversary. His buddy Paul and wife Kelly hooked us up beyond belief. Front row at the Orioles game on Friday night right behind home plate. You could hear the crack of the bat and feel the sting of the ball in the thigh (quite a few bad pitches).I screamed at the Baltimore players with all my might but didn’t manage to get a smile from them (my Reds would have given me some).
On Saturday, we started the tailgating early. Out of the hotel by 9 am (yea, I know there are those up at 5 am raring to go… Not moi). We met up with Paul and Kelly and our neighbors in Grandview (small world) and their family. The stadium was booming when we entered and the Navy boys were impressive as they threw and loosened up on the field – but our guys looked rough and tough when they marched out. The suite had hamburgers and hot dogs and sushi and nuts and more. Ri would have been in heaven with me. Our neighbors’ kids sure were. Jon had fun teasing them and helping one of them create an ultimate burger!
Meanwhile, I had to move around before the game. I was getting antsy after being in that room for an hour. I went down to see the band and the players near the field. I absorbed all the positive energy from the players – so energizing to be near the field listening to music and hearing the crowd. Their were players’ mamas and papas near me taking pictures and beaming about their children.
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I headed back to our suite about fifteen minutes before the start. The midshipmen assembled on the field and the Star-Spangled Banner played. Gets me every time.
And then the game.
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It was quite the nail biter at first but then we pulled it out. All were in good spirits afterwards. But we were also whooped. We went our separate ways to rest up before dinner. I took a walk to check out the inner harbor and to wake me up (if I nap, I’m worse off).
We went to Little Italy for dinner with Paul and Kelly. We ordered a magnificent bottle of wine and had an amazing meal. It was a great way to end the trip.
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We crawled out of bed at 7 am on Sunday and left for the airport. We arrived home to sheets of rain and kids’ embraces. But then they were off to the neighbors’ house to play. And I was whacked out. Usually I’m happy to get some quiet time and slurp it up but for some reason their departure left me depressed and I didn’t recover all day. Sometimes when I don’t start my day with a run or the gym, I get in a funk, too. So maybe it was that combo that kicked my butt. We had our block party that night so I had to break free from the doldrums. I managed to do so and had a good time talking with Patty and Stephanie. The kids biked and wrestled and “got drunk” on Jones soda.
I woke up and took a seven mile run. I felt much better on Monday. The kids and I cleaned up their rooms. We had four garbage bags of junk and old toys and clothes. How refreshing! Jon worked on their fish tanks (not a fun chore). It was soothing to all be together. But Mario got antsy after a bit and begged to go see Quinn. I gave in after the hundredth plea and let him go. My girl stayed with me though, and helped move her barbies upstairs. Evening came and we got ready for bed at 8:15. I read them a book in Ri’s room and tucked them in.
I took a deep breath as I walked down the steps, and gave thanks for my kiddos and being home.
And the more I thought about my melancholy upon my return home on Sunday, the more I came to believe that it was just leaving Paul and Kelly! They were too good of hosts!>
Taking care of business
I came home from running this morning and there was Ri and Mario eating Lucky Charms. Ri had poured a bowl for her brother and herself. Thank the heavens I have a self-sufficient girl. I can avoid getting up at the crack of dawn in order to be home by 7 am to get them ready and instead get up at a reasonable hour when the sun is rising and it’s not jet black outside.
She also has absolutely zero desire to have me walk her up the street to meet her friends. She wants to walk all by herself. So, I could wake up even later and make it home solely for Mario who doesn’t have to leave for school until a half hour later than Ri; but that would entail me missing a goodbye kiss and hug from my girl. She still humors me with such love when I ask her. And I will lap that up until it is no more.
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Giving back
I took Maria to the Van Buren homeless shelter last night to help me serve food to the women staying at the shelter. Mario was going to head over with us but Jon arrived home just as we were walking to the car, and he chose to stay with his dad. Ri was glad. She likes that alone time with me.
It’s been a few months since we went to the YWCA Family Shelter to do crafts with the kids. Ri did such a great job with the kids when we went there on Sunday mornings. She loved when toddlers and pre-schoolers showed up because they let her help them draw and glue and gave her hugs. She soaked it up.
I didn’t know what to expect at this homeless shelter because it was our first time serving dinner. They had told me Ri might get bored because she couldn’t serve food from the kitchen (I did not disclose to Ri that she couldn’t serve food because she had her heart set on it and I didn’t want her to be upset before we even left for the shelter).
We arrived to just a few women sitting at tables in a large room. I introduced Ri and the volunteer helpers welcomed her. The coordinator of the dinner quickly reminded me that Ri would have to stay in the dining area. I asked what we could do in the area and she directed us to a pail and washcloths. Ri didn’t hesitate. She got her washcloth and began wiping down the tables. And the chairs. I know she had wanted to serve food but she didn’t whine or complain at all.
When the women stood in line to get food, the leader brought out pitchers of juice and cups. Ri volunteered to pour the juice and give it to the women after they got their food. And so we did. The women were a so sweet to her responding with “thank you baby” and “aren’t you darling.” She’d take the juice over to the table for the women who had a hard time walking. After all the women went through the line, she walked around the tables to see if she could get anything for them. She didn’t feel awkward or nervous. Rather, it came completely natural to her.
If I’ve done one thing right as a parent, it is installing in her the gift of empathy and helping others. I have always felt strongly that she needs to understand how lucky she is to have happened to be born in a first world country, to working parents who have a home and can afford food and transportation and clothing; and to have such a support system of family who think the world of her. I don’t want her to take it for granted and I want her to respect all people, and understand that everyone goes through rough times. In the end, we are all much more alike than we are different.
It’s always been pretty easy with Ri – she seems to innately understand and be sensitive to others’ feelings.
Sure enough, one of the women was telling Ri about her grand daughter and how much she loves to take her to the park and another woman was talking about dressing up as Wonder Woman for Halloween. Ri smiled as they spoke to her and engaged back with them.
I have grown up with parents and family reinforcing in me that “there but for the grace of god go I.” We are all struggling to make the best of this life; all struggling to find happiness and joy. The woman at the shelter could be me. And she deserves respect and love and compassion.
As we were packing up, a lady called out “Mom, hey mom. Come here.”
I walked over to her. She wrapped her arm around me.
“You’ve got a heck of a daughter there. It’s wonderful that she’d spend her time helping us. She’s beautiful.”
I couldn’t agree more – on the inside and out.
Football and cake = an August weekend
We made it out to the farm on Saturday with enough time to eat lunch, eat cake and play one badminton game. But Ri got to soak it up a bit longer out there with her friend Henley. Jon, Mario and I had to head back to Columbus for his Meet the Team night in the Grandview Stadium.
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Ri and Henley had a good time holding Elena and riding the horses and playing yoga kickball with Peepaw and Jorge. Poor Henley took a hike with me and Ri and fell on her back as she tried to swing on a vine. Then she got stung by a bee. I’m not sure a trip back to the farm will be happening soon for her…!
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I always forget how self sufficient Ri is on the farm. She’s completely able to traverse the farm without any issues, and when she falls she just picks herself up and keeps truckin’. A true farm gal. But we gave kudos to Henley for not giving up and trying that vine again. She succeeded at swinging on it the second time.
Meanwhile, Mario, Jon and I went to Meet the Team night. Mario was in his element with his guys. He soaks up that testosterone and jumps right into all the boy antics.
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The high school boys came out last and all the younger boys get to form a line on each side of them to cheer them on. We watched Mario smile as he slapped the high school boys’ hands. The high school boys got to introduce themselves and name their favorite breakfast food. Mario will fit right into this football group based on the answers we were hearing. I believe 80% of the boys answered that their favorite breakfast food was donuts or pancakes.
After the stadium event, the Touchdown Club held a gathering at the Italian Club down the street. We weren’t going to attend but after sitting around the house for an hour, we decided to head down. Mario was again in his element. He partied it up with his football buddies tossing the football and running around the place. He even jumped on stage without hesitation when Gangum Style came out of the speakers.
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We had to drag him out of the building at 9:30 to head home.
While Ri and Henley were trying to read to Elena Sunday morning, Mario was chowing on eggs and waffles preparing for his first football game.
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Jon headed up to the field with Mario at 11 am. He had to get weighed in and practice before the noon game. I gasped when I saw him – big ol’ shoulder pads and jersey with his name on it. He looked like a miniature pro football player.
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He was ready to play. He has no desire to throw or catch the ball; he just loves to tackle. He’s not scared of the big boys either. I thought I’d be scared half to death watching him but I wasn’t. I saw him hold his own play after play and felt surprisingly calm. Now, I’m sure the day will come where I will exhibit nerves and fear (especially if he is catching the ball and getting tackled) but I’ll enjoy watching him play for now. He’s also quite the nut of the team.
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They ended up tying the game. Mario looked like me after a long run – completely drenched in sweat. He got a celebratory hot dog and walked out with the love of his life, Grandma Ionno.
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Of course, he had to take off his shirt and strut it out back to the car. I used to not be able to picture my little guy as a teenager but as I snapped this picture, all I could see was Mario at age 16.
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Hence why I agreed to read Dracula to him for a half hour last night at bedtime – I’ve got to get the snuggle time in with him while I am able.
And Ms. Maria is heading right up that path, too. I go to say goodnight to her and find her in her pjs, wet hair combed from a shower, looking up iPhones on her iPad. But just when I was about to leave her room, she noticed me and sang “mom, can you scratch my back and bring me water.” There’s my baby girl.
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"MOM!" 