Cookie dough and cards

December 24, 2012December 24, 2012Leave a comment

We baked for hours the other night – sugar cookies with bursts of sprinkles and chocolate chips loaded on them, banana bread with crushed nuts spread on top, rice krispy treats, traditional chocolate chip cookies. We had big plans to deliver them to neighbors and friends but only ended up delivering them to two neighbors. Everyone was gone. Darn, more for us and our family.

Ri and I kept devouring the cookie dough so I diverted our attention to the cookie cut-outs. We had big ideas to trace the cut-outs onto construction paper, cut them out, and place them on the dinner plates but we decided to play the Flintstone card game instead. Our hands were tired from rolling dough, right?

We had to teach Mario how to be a gracious loser since he threw a fit every time Maria won. Ri finally lost a game (I think she did it purposefully to appease Mario) and she shook his hand and congratulated him.

His response: “Since I shook her hand, can I still tease her that I won?” Baby steps, I guess…,

Playing the Steps

December 23, 2012December 23, 2012Leave a comment

Ri found this video on my Facebook as she perused through all of my friends’ posts. She called Mario and I in the room to watch it with her and we all thought about putting that on our steps. As Ri pointed out, there’s just one problem: when I sneak out at 6:30 am to run, Mario will hear me for sure as I tip-toe down the steps.

Not a bad way to wake up though!

Kisses

December 22, 2012Leave a comment

A kiss from Ri is like a brush with a high-speed bulldozer but the intensity of it somehow gives way to a lightness that makes your heart feel like a butterfly dancing among the wildflowers.

A kiss from Mario is like a brush with a fuzzy baby chick but the delicacy of it somehow bursts open your heart and makes it feel like it’s shooting off brightly-colored confetti.

Two different approaches to showing their love but both equally delicious. Love love love these babies’ kisses.

Push-ups, anyone?

December 21, 2012December 21, 2012Leave a comment

We had a fitness class taught by Mario last night. He cheerfully ordered us to stand on one leg and then to push our arms above our head and out to the sides. Ri and I had to run around the family room for one minute without stopping. He showed us how to do a handstand and kick our feet out (neither Ri nor I could get that one perfected). All the while, he laughed and thoroughly enjoyed himself. Jon and I pictured him as a fitness trainer, probably fitting in out in California with that blond hair.

Then it was Ri’s turn to play trainer. Watch out folks! She barked out orders and if we so much as stepped the wrong direction, she pointed her finger and demanded a do-over. Where we see Mario in California, we see Ri leading a boot camp.

Balancing act

December 19, 2012December 19, 20121 Comment

I met up with one of my friends this morning. She is pregnant with her second child and feeling stressed about balancing work and family. As soon as we sat down, she lamented: “I feel like I should be able to know everything in my job and be able to do everything at home, and when I don’t or can’t, I get so mad at myself.”

We talked about her particular situation at work and brainstormed about how to manage it. Imagine this: tell people you need help on this particular project because it’s not in your area of expertise. Novel idea for us perfectionists.

We talked about home life. How do we not rip our partners’ heads off when they ask “what’s for dinner?” Another brainstorming session led us to this revolutionary idea: talk to these partners about our stress quotient and ask them to head up dinner for the week. It may be that we are eating Wendy’s and cheese and crackers but there are some weeks that has to happen. Better a little more fats in your diet than a mental breakdown.

Then we talked about kids and our guilty feelings around not spending enough time with them. Revolutionary idea no.2: spend more time with them. Drop the laundry basket and leave the dishes and go sit on the living room floor with a deck of cards. Who cares if the kitchen looks like a madman pummeled through it; do we want our memories ten years from now to be that we had a spotless kitchen or that we had some mean ol’ UNO games together? I’d prefer the latter.

These are topics that I see all over magazines (“Juggle it all in five easy steps!”) and books (“Be a better mom today!”) and websites but they never seem to be put to rest. At times I get irritated with the dialogue – yes, it’s hard to juggle all of these things as a woman but how many conversations do we need to have? But today, while watching my mentee struggle with real dilemmas surrounding work and home, my attitude changed. This dialogue was essential to moving her forward in her job. It was essential for reassuring her that we all struggle with balance. It was essential to remind her what was most important to her at this time of her life. It was essential to reinforce in me how grounding female relationships are and how necessary it is to help one another along. God knows I have had my days and I am positive there will be more to come.

At the end of the conversation, she apologized for complaining the entire time. I made her apologize for apologizing – that’s the last thing she should be doing. I gave her a hug and we both promised to keep talking. And then we whipped out our iPhones to show the latest pictures of our babies.

Taking in the morning

December 17, 2012December 17, 2012Leave a comment

This weather is ridiculous. Close to 60 degrees in mid-December. It makes me think twice about living in California or Colorado where it would be a temperate 70 degrees most days. But in the end, I do like the change in seasons and hope that we will get some sled riding in this Winter.

The kids and I took advantage of the weather with a stroller ride and bike ride to our tried and true Tim Hortons. Ri rode her bike and Mario lounged in the stroller. Ri talked to me about her friend’s mom and how mean she was to her friend. I listened to her as she talked about the things this mom said to her friend. She is definitely much more strict than me (who isn’t?!) but her words do seem rather harsh. Nonetheless, I explained to Ri that every mom is different and there were surely wonderful traits this mom possessed. Ri looked doubtful. She biked a bit longer and then looked over at me and said “I have a great mom.”

Can I please package that up with a bow and bring it out when she’s 15 and hating me?!

Meanwhile, Mario informed us that he knew why he woke up last night unable to breathe. It scared Jon and I half to death. He woke up at 2 am gasping for air and could barely drink water. He was raspy voiced. I would have thought he swallowed something if it wasn’t 2 am. After ten minutes, he fell back to sleep and woke up fine. Mario told us that he woke up and was unable to breathe because the trees in the nearby park had been chopped down recently.

“They cut down all those trees and hurt our environment. Now it’s hard to breathe good.”

There is our little Sierra Club member.

After Tim Hortons, we got a rare treat. A train passed through right in front of our eyes as we walked towards the park. We had passed over the tracks hoping to see it and as soon as we passed over, it came roaring by us. We all sprinted to the tracks to see it right before our eyes (Maria held her sides heaving and smiling and said “my body hasn’t gone that fast ever!).

The park was all ours to enjoy. We ran up and down Wyman Woods hill. We played in the sand volleyball court. M&M climbed the old pine tree to the near top. Mario was so excited because he had never climbed that high before. We climbed the monkey bars.

And all of this before 10 am!

On the way home, we passed a couple jogging. Mario pointed at them and said “they are helping the environment by using their legs and not driving, right mom?” I shook my head yes. Maria was dazing off into space and I didn’t think she heard us until she declared “why run when you can bike? I’m going to bike everywhere because I hate to walk.”

Mario confirmed that Ri could take that route because she was using her own energy to move and that was good for the environment. Ri and I smiled at sweet Mario. Then we passed two newly planted trees and before I could point them out, Mario squealed “new trees, mom! I can breathe better!”

Holding on tight

December 17, 2012Leave a comment

Maria spent the night at a friend’s house last Friday night after the Newtown school shootings had occurred. As Jon updated me about the victims, I wanted to run over to the friend’s house and bring Ri home. I didn’t want her out of my sight. I held onto Mario the entire night. I squeezed his flesh and kissed his forehead and told him I loved him a hundred times over. I received a text from the mother of Ri’s friend. She reported “the girls are watching a movie and eating popcorn; all is good.” I breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, and felt a bit lighter than I had five minutes earlier.

Tragedies like the Newtown tragedy force everyone to stop. Freeze. Be silent. Reflect. Pray in whatever manner works for you. Cry. Feel.

I know if I was one of those parents in Newtown whose child had been so senselessly murdered, I would be blind with anger and grief. Screaming at the top of my lungs. I never fully understood the intensity of the bond between parent/child until giving birth to my two, and now I can’t imagine the immense sadness in the loss of your little child. My heart aches for all involved, and I hope that they are able to eventually come to a place of peace and hope. Those darling children and teachers will come back to their parents and their siblings and their families while they sit at dinner. They will bring a smile to their faces. They will be felt when their parents least expect it, and their parents will wrap themselves around their innocence when they most need comfort. I have to believe that to be the case.

When I picked up Maria from her friend’s house, I found her holding her friend’s baby sister, age 2, around the house. “This is my precious baby, mom. I just could eat her up, couldn’t you?” I stared at Ri for a good twenty seconds as she held that baby girl, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

“Mom,” Ri shouted as she waved her hand across my face a few times. “Stop dazing out!”

“Sorry, pumpkin. I was just watching you.”

Ri smiled and placed the baby girl back in her mom’s arms. She gathered up her bags, grabbed my hand, and led me to the front door to head for home. I squeezed her hand in mine and when we got to the car, I picked her up like she was a baby again hugging and kissing all over her head. She laughed and begged “keep holding me, mom!”

Gladly, sweet darlin’.

Like mom, like daughter

December 12, 2012Leave a comment

Last night I allowed Maria to have her friend, Janira over for dinner. I don’t know why I do this on a weeknight after a full day of work and the knowledge that Ri has homework to complete. But I do. While fixing spaghetti for the kids, I chowed down on six peanut butter cookies and what probably amounted to a pound of fudge. I was so hungry I didn’t feel like waiting for real food. Mistake.

I had a sugar headache within a half hour that only worsened with the kids’ screams throughout the house. I did a superb job of hiding my irritation – I even allowed the girls to do my make-up – but when we got back from dropping Janira off I hit my limit. Maria sat next to me writing on the tablecloth rather than doing her homework.

“Ri, don’t be stupid. Stop that!”

“You just called me stupid, mom. That’s just great. You think I’m stupid.”

“That’s not what I said. I said your actions were stupid. You know better than to write on the tablecloth.”

“No, mom. I heard you. I’m stupid.”

“Ri, you are not stupid and I’m not playing this game tonight. Do your homework.”

“Ugh,” she nodded back at me. She noticed my “I’m not happy” look and diverted her eyes from me to her homework.

Within two minutes, she climbed off her chair and wrapped her arms around me.

“I’m sorry for being mean, mom.”

I bear hugged her back and kissed her cheek. I told her I’m just tired and that I’m sorry for using the word “stupid” (we don’t like that word in the house). I continued to write out a check to Kids Club.

Ri scooted back onto her chair and then shot up and started singing “Tis the Season to be Jolly!” I looked at her and couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s the mom I know and love with a big smile on her face! Keep it on there lady!”

Yep, that’s my girl. Always wanting peace and happiness throughout the house just like her mama. I could take a snapshot of me engaging in the same antics a week ago when Ri or Mario was upset. She is my mirror image at times.

Yikes!

Gavels galore

December 12, 2012December 12, 2012Leave a comment

We had our cookie contest on Monday at work. I was so slap happy on Sunday from being laid up in bed sick all week that I decided to bake and join in the contest.

I knew M&M would be on board if it involved baking cookies. I racked my brain over a creative cookie to make and out of nowhere thought of a gavel. An office full of lawyers most of whom have been in front of a judge in the course of their practice, would certainly enjoy them. Maria agreed (after I showed her a picture of one and she realized we’d be able to buy giant marshmallows) and the process began.

I only bought one container of chocolate thinking that would coat 20 huge marshmallows – it coated 5. You can see my ineptitude in baking…. We had to use caramel dip for the rest which looked like thick alien slime.

Maria kept sneaking swipes of the melted chocolate with her finger and Mario kept eating the marshmallows after we dipped them on chocolate. So all in all we ended up with 4 chocolate gavels and 10 caramel ones.

Maria asked if I thought that we’d win the contest and I told her in an I quivering tone, “of course!” I told my colleague this and she immediately went to task creating a Grand Prize certificate for Ri announcing that she won “Most Creative” prize for the gavels. She was smitten when I showed her that evening.

“”I knew we’d win, mom!”

Love her confidence.

Braving the flu vaccine

December 9, 2012December 9, 2012Leave a comment

I finally scheduled flu vaccines for M&M last week. I got hit with that alien bug and wanted to try my best to prevent the kids from suffering (even though there are rumors that the flu nasal spray may cause flu-like symptoms?).

Maria swore up and down that she was going to get the shot. She prides herself on being a machine. I can’t count the number of times that she has fallen off her bike and people passing by make a quick stop and stare at her thinking she’s seriously hurt. She pops up with a big smile on her face and chirps “What? I’m fine! I’m fine!”

When we walked in the doctor’s room, Mario begged to go first. He wanted to get the ordeal over with and wanted to make sure he got the spray. There was no way he was considering the shot. He still gets concerned when we tell him he has to get shots in a month for his check-up. He asks twenty questions about the shots: “Are the shots big? Will they hurt? Do they sting? Will I cry?”

The nurse came in with the nasal shot and explained to Mario how he’d have to hold his nose after she sprayed the mist. He was excited that he was so calm about the ordeal.

The nurse sprayed both nostrils and he immediately pinched his nose just like the nurse ordered. Perfect patient.

Mario stepped off the table beaming proud at his accomplishment. He helped Maria onto the table acting like her little knight in shining armor. She continued to demand a shot and the nurse went out to get one laughing at Maria’s courage. Meanwhile, Mario played with a truck and I looked at my phone. In those few seconds, Ri changed her mind.

“I was going to get a shot to show Mario it doesn’t hurt but then he got the spray so there’s no reason to get it.” Makes sense.

The nurse was sent back to get nasal spray shaking her head as if she knew that Ri wouldn’t take a shot. Little does she know my girl. She would have easily taken that shot if there had been any reason. But Mario already had his spray and I wasn’t getting one so why suffer unnecessarily? She’s smart. She also fully abided by the nurse’s orders and squeezed her nose tight after the spray.

The nurse shook her head yet again as she walked out of the room and muttered “I wish all of my patients could be so good.”

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama