I love Anna Quindlen. Her piece on motherhood calms me when I start to fret about whether I am doing everything right with M&M. Last night I felt like mom of the year when I cooked pancakes and eggs with the kids, read them three books and played Go Fish with them. This morning I felt like the worst mama ever when I yelled at Mario for taking too long to put on his shoes and chided Maria for not brushing her hair.
Quindlen reminds me to remember that no one can tell me how to be the best mom or raise the best kids – I just gotta go with my gut and know that I’m doing my best. Motherhood challenges me to raise my game a notch – its harder than any job I have ever worked… but undoubtedly the most fulfilling.
Can’t sit still but I’ll be around longer!
I have finally been vindicated with the MSNBC article out today. My A-D-D and obsessive compulsiveness around never sitting still is going to allow me to live longer! Maybe only by a year or two, but still. That is two more years of enjoying UDF peanut butter-n-chip ice cream, biking on 70 degree days, and watching peach sunsets like the one we saw last night driving home from Cincy.
I got Maria off the couch tonight and biking down to the park with me. Mario ran
around like a nutcase all day so he chose to ride with me on my bike. I couldn’t resist him pleading to ride with me when I look at him in his little muscle shirt. Those tiny little biceps and triceps hanging next to his side. Eat him up. And Maria’s little running shorts and t-shirt – she swears my attire off but little does she see how much she dresses like me.
We moved around all night long – trying out the monkey bars and running down the huge grassy hill. We could finally breathe since it was only 84 degrees compared to the 100 degrees it had been for the last few days. I love these types of nights – biking to the park and spending time outdoors – I will take that over a car and sitting inside any day. So here is to more research on the benefits of moving around a lot – I will be your test bunny!
Stand By Me
My sis forwarded this video to me like a little angel from above. Seriously, she sent it to me on a day where I had woken up with a splitting headache, endured kids’ whining about having to stay home with the sitter, and received an email from a client complaining about the status of a matter. And it was only 7:30 am at that time. By 2 pm, I was ready to pack it up and hitchhike off to a remote town in Alaska.
And then I got an email from her containing this video. I immediately smiled. It brought me back to sanity. I felt a renewed sense of goodness in this world. I looked at the kids’ pictures and did not want to wring their necks. I met my client and felt compassion. I called Jon and told him I loved him.
Amazing what one little video can do for your day. Here’s to humanity and the amazing spirit dwelling in all of us.
“Mom, like you are so totally embarrassing!”
Everything I do embarrasses my daughter… Everything.
I picked Maria up at a friend’s house on Sunday morning. I ran over to her friend’s house pushing her bike alongside of me so she could bike home. She likes to do that sometimes and sometimes she just wants the car so I took a gamble. I lost.
First, when I walked in the door, she gave me an absolute repulsed look. I was sweaty. Her worst pet peeve. She hates sweat and she jettisons to the other side of the room when I walk in after a run. Second, she flipped out when I told her I brought her bike. Flipped out. She started pointing her finger and demanding I get the car. When I gave her “the eye”, she still continued her tirade. She even continued after I warned her that she’d be punished. I then flipped out and took her into the other room to give her a tongue lashing. She began crying hysterically as I pulled her outside. She stood next to me as I pushed her bike on to the sidewalk and let it all out.
“Mom, I am embarrassed to ride my bike in a dress. It’s so embarrassing. I don’t want to do it.”
My heart ached. I felt sick. My girl is so concerned about things I don’t think twice about. I explained to her that she needed to tell me that she was embarrassed and talk to me about her concerns instead of being sassy and confrontational. I hugged her and let her go inside while I went home and got the car. I chose to do that because I truly believed that she was seriously distraught at the thought of riding a bike in her dress. I could understand that a reasonable person would be distressed about riding in a dress even though I could care less about it. I wanted to respect her feelings but also have her respect her relationship with me.
As I ran home, I held back my tears. I grew sadder and sadder about the incident with Ri. It reminded me of my rough times with my mom when I was a teenager. But I was a teenager! She’s only 7. God help me. I also realized that I was PMS and very emotional so I tried to keep it all in perspective. Jon was a dear and picked Ri up for me. When she came home she ran upstairs and hugged me. We both apologized. I hope we can continue such easy forgiveness in the future.
We met my mom at Ikea early in the afternoon and I told her about my run-in with Maria. I sympathized with how much it must have hurt her to have me act so sassy and rude to her when I was younger (never fails that your behavior comes back to you). Maria heard me and commented “Mom, I was just helping you see how your mom felt.” She is a piece of work. I gave her a nuggie for that one.
This morning I packed her lunch for her first day of horse camp. I wrote “Maria loves horses” on her brown bag and showed it to her.
“Mom, really? That is so embarrassing!”
Yep, I might as well saddle up on the embarrassment front because it’s not going away anytime soon.
Burning up
We are now into the second week of above 90 degree temperatures, and I am seriously contemplating a move to Alaska. I am tired of walking outside and immediately dripping in sweat. And heaven help me if I need to walk a few blocks – I look like I just emerged from a swimming pool. I arrived at a meeting three blocks away from my office last week and blotted sweat from my face for a half hour before I found some relief. The worst part is that I start to get cold when I walk into air conditioning because of the cold air mixing with the massive amounts of water on my skin. So, I look even more attractive with sweat pouring off me and goosebumps covering me.

The kids are over it, too. Maria wants nothing to do with the outside unless it involves lots of shade or water. Mario can hang a little better than any of us but he’s even given up lately. So, when I took off a half day on Friday afternoon, the question was what to do in 100 degree heat? We decided to pick up our cousin, Alana for an afternoon play date. We hit the store for a slip-n-slide first. But when we came home and set it up, it had a huge tear in it. Never fails. So we set off for the pool where I wrestled with all three of them for an hour (when will the day come when I can just chill with a book and they play by themselves?! But then I will miss them…).
We hit Wendy’s for dinner – I sat by myself as directed by Maria. She likes to sit with Alana by herself. I made her take Mario, too, which she begrudgingly did but then tried to boss him around the entire time. He just flirts with Alana the entire time asking her to give him a kiss and telling her he will marry her. He is a little Casanova even with his cousin. After dinner, I needed an evening stroll to wake up after all the french fries we devoured. We decided to walk to a few blocks to a shady park. Maria rode her bike, I strolled Mario and Alana walked with me. As much as I hate the heat, I hate even worse to be in a car. Our park trip got cut short because of an urgent text message from Alana’s dad that she needed to get home. The kids started to walk with me (we had to leave Maria’s bike because her legs hurt – my girl) but they all soon became tired and I ended up strollering Maria and Mario and putting Alana on my back. Nope, not kidding. I looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame pushing a double-wide stroller.
I know when winter rolls around I am going to wish it was warmer and forget all about these sweltering abysmal days. That’s how the mind works – it’s why I am able to think about having another baby without drugs. But for now, I will continue to wish for icicles and mittens and sled-rides.
Big Time Rush is in the house!!!
My first concert with my mom was Prince in Riverfront Coliseum. I painted my face purple and found every article of purple clothes available to wear. I only remember little snippets of the evening – picking up my mom’s friend in Clifton, the grandiosity of the Coliseum, dancing my heart out, and watching Prince perform some sexy moves!
Maria’s first concert was a tad more subdued and kid-friendly (I got introduced to the ways of the world early with Prince’s music!). We saw Big Time Rush last night at Nationwide Arena with about five thousand dressed-up, screaming, heart-swept girls and their moms (half of whom were just as dressed up as their daughters). Maria and I showed up in our running shorts and t-shirts (Ri sported her homemade Big Time Rush t-shirt made by Aunt Laura – so much cooler than the t-shirts for sale).
We had awesome seats on the first level. We visited Alana up in her seats before the show. Maria wanted to sit with her, which I knew would happen, but I wanted to at least check out our seats down below. I made Maria head down with me just to check them out and told her if she wanted to head back to Alana after that, we could. When we got to our seats, we found that they were pretty close to the stage. Between that and the fact that Alana had brought a friend with her to the show (Maria has her dad in her – she likes to have her time alone with her cousin or friend and does not like intruders!), we stayed in our seats. It was worth it – we had a killer view and Logan walked up to our seats and sang a song one step away from Ri! I about had a heart attack – reliving my youth but Maria reacted in the complete opposite manner. She did not want to rush down and touch Logan. She did not want to act giddy and scream when he got near. She wanted to be, and was, completely composed. While I nudged her to shake Logan’s hand, she refused standing quietly in front of him. The girls behind us were ready to hyper-ventilate and Ri stood with perfect composure. Is it that she’s only 7? I don’t think so – I think that is deep inside her and who she is – at age 7 and 37. No screaming madly for her – she is the calm and collected one (even more than her mom!).
So, when we returned to our seats, she gave me a piece of her mind.
“Mom, you embarrassed me when you did that. Please don’t do that to me.”
Her big blue eyes stared up at me in the most genuine, heartfelt manner, and I felt two feet tall. It was the saddest moment for me because here I was thinking that she was as excited as I was! But I’m glad it happened because it solidified in my brain how much my daughter needs her space and is completely opposite to me when it comes to behavior at these events. Nonetheless, after I explained to her why I nudged her and why I was excited, she forgave me and shook off the embarrassment smiling at the thrill of having been so close to Logan.
But she stayed true to herself throughout the rest of the show staying calm and collected in her chair while screaming fans surrounded her – every once in a while she would stand up and pump her fist or shake her booty but it was far and few between. My girl is way too cool.
Thought for today: Life is Good
Why is it that we convince ourselves with each new year that the fireworks show is going to be an amazing time full of laughter and hugs and unforgettable moments? When instead it is full of spats and whining and trying to find a good spot to set up camp? Ok, so I exaggerate a tad. After all, I believe life is as good as you want to make it so even though there were the spats and the whining and the search for a perfect viewing spot, there was also laughter when the cookies were brought out, hugs when the fireworks sparkled in the sky, and unforgettable moments when I witnessed Jon and Maria holding hands as they walked back to the car.
I haven’t so much learned to lessen my expectations through the years as I have learned to change my thinking. I used to think “this night will be perfect” and when one thing went wrong, I would get upset and believe the entire night was a failure. Maybe it’s a matter of getting older (or maybe it’s a matter of reading lots of self-help books!) but I have improved my thinking in these circumstances. I go into an event now with the thought that no matter how things go, I am lucky to be able to experience the event and have time with my loved ones or by myself. I am privileged to be able to walk to the event, be able to talk to people, be able to eat good food. So when Mario trips and cries or Maria whines or the weather is sweltering hot, I can acknowledge them for what they are and move on to experiencing the better. My results are much more positive and gratifying. And so when I got home last night, I thanked life for giving me time with Jon and M&M to watch fireworks and smile at one another and have tender moments together (trying to get in the car quick enough to not shine our headlights on spectators).
This holiday has allowed me to sharpen my thinking skills even more between the 90 degree, hour and a half parade and the irritable, sun-drenched, fatigued children. But, alas, we were all together downing the waters and watching the floats and having some laughs with cousins and old teachers and friends.
We even managed a bike ride to Stauf’s for a thirst-quenching iced coffee. Maria is becoming a bike pro using only one hand at times and standing up off the seat at others. Mario still enjoys his mama riding him on her bike, which I still secretly love, too since Maria is already pushing away like a 15 year old to be her own person (it’s too soon!).
And so, I continue to revel in my positive thinking as we head over to Jon’s niece’s house for a cookout. How lucky I am to have as much as I do in all aspects of my life – family, friends, home, health, work. No matter if I get a burnt burger tonight or Mario throws a tantrum or the slip-n-slide fails – life is still good on this July 4, 2012.
Running on pie
As I ran my same jogging course on Monday morning, I received a much-needed out-of-the-ordinary gem from NPR’s Allison Aubrey. Aubrey hosted a segment on pie-making. And although I do not have fond memories of my grandmother or my mom making homemade pies, it brought up a rush of good emotions as I continued down my jogging path. Aubrey’s description of getting the pie crust just right – not kneading it and keeping little balls throughout it – made me yearn to travel to New York and take a class. I appreciated the way that she intertwined her mother with her story of making a perfect pie.
Like Aubrey, I don’t have memories of my mom slaving in the kitchen over a magnificent pie (she did make a heck of a peanut butter coconut ball though!). But I do have memories of my father’s cherry pies. I don’t remember him slaving away in the kitchen, however; I just have memories of eating delicious homemade cherry pie with him and my mom. I remember helping pick cherries from our cherry tree out back, and suffering a nasty bee sting when I decided not to wear shoes one day. But those pies were well worth it – dripping in cherry goo and always having a slight burnt edge around them. Perfect crispiness.
Food creates memories, and I associate my dad’s cherry pies with childhood summers full of running around outside and hanging with friends and walking the neighborhood. Coincidentally, my husband likely associates his grandmother’s homemade pumpkin pies with exciting summers in Marietta. His grandma made a mean pumpkin pie back in the day that Jon always raves about when we buy pumpkin pie during Fall. “Nothing beats my grandma’s pumpkin pie” he always tells me. My mother-in-law also bakes a stupendous homemade pumpkin pie, and it is by far the best I have ever tasted (I didn’t get to meet Jon’s grandma before she passed). Patty learned how to make her pie from her mother. Indeed, so many of the recipes that Patty has she received from her mom, and you can feel the love in the room when Patty talks about her mom and her cooking.
When the segment wrapped up with Aubrey’s daughter and mother in the kitchen tasting Aubrey’s blueberry pie, I resolved that I would begin a baking tradition with Maria and Mario. I love how those resolutions wash over me so quickly and resolutely while I am out in the open air free from all constraints and time lines and chores. “Maybe I will even sign up for a class with M&M and Jon or my mom or dad or stepmom or mother-in-law. The ideas were flowing.
Then I got home and realized I was late for a meeting. I ran upstairs to shower and get dressed. Mario had Maria in a head lock and Maria was smacking his head. When I came downstairs to leave, milk laid all over the table and cereal remnants were across the floor. A pack of goldfish were torn apart and chocolate sauce stuck to the counter. I asked them why everything was a mess.
“We wanted to make breakfast ourselves, mom, so you didn’t need to be bothered.” And then I looked down and saw a bowl with a bright beaming yellow glob laying in it. Maria surprised me with microwaved eggs. She had broken two eggs into a bowl and stuck them in the microwave for a minute and a half. She fed me a bite and asked how they were.
“Delicious!” I told her. She looked at Mario and gave him a high-five.
And so, my cooking ventures may start out slow and different than planned, but we will get there…eventually!
Triplets for Ri
I am a grandma. Maria had triplets on Saturday afternoon – Sarah, Jessica, and Emily. She told me that the birth was easy and she was able to run around with them hours later. Their “births” occurred at Toys-R-Us in Kenwood on our way home from Louisville. She begged me to buy the triplets for her and I refused at first. But then I thought back to my days as a little girl with my dolls and I couldn’t resist.
She has been taking care of them ever since Saturday. They cry and giggle and burp and say “mama.” Pretty cute. She wrapped them in a blanket at Grandma Lolo’s house and walked them outside while my mom walked Lou. She invented a new diaper for them that just soaks in the pee and poop so there is no cleaning necessary. She fed them their bottles and successfully juggled keeping them all content and happy. She is super mom.
In fact, I see her future as a super mom handling 5 kids at a time. She was at the dinner table with Grandma Lolo and Papa Rod and Rod told her he had to go into work for 12 hours to fix power lines. She responded “I am glad I’m not old enough to do that work!” I Indeed, she would much rather work with babies. She is a natural, after all. Anyone that can feed two babies and get her little brother to help feed the other newborn rather than play his newest Ben Ten game has certainly got innate talent.
Partyin’ in Kentucky
Mario lived his dream of being a superstar last night. He danced all by himself on the dance floor with the entire wedding party and guests watching and cheering his every move. The DJ asked me Mario’s name and I told him. He went back to his stand and yelled in the microphone “Let’s hear it for Mario!” Mario turned to me in disbelief. He was charged!
The DJ challenged the guests to a dance-off with Mario and this gorgeous southern belle took him on. She kicked and punched the air like Mario, did the robot like him, and jiggled her hips. But he pulled out a cartwheel on her and she gave up and bowed down to him.
“Did I win, mom?” he asked me later in the evening. The kid never fails to find competition.
Maria, meanwhile was persevering through pain. She wore “high heels” with her dress and they were killing her feet (like all heels do!). I kept telling her to take them off but she’d reply “mom, it’s a wedding and I’m in a dress; I can’t take off my heels.” She certainly doesn’t take after her mom who wears gym shoes with her dress! It scares me that she was willing to deal with the pain of heels in order to remain in high fashion – god help us.
We also got in some quality hotel pool and hot tub time – Maria stood on Peepaw’s shoulders in the pool and Mario acted like a fighting superhero in the hot tub jumping from side to side with his fist outstretched. We also got our money’s worth at the breakfast buffet filling up on waffles, eggs, sausage and fruit loops. Massive carbs – just what I needed for a four hour drive home.
We stopped over at Aunt Kathy’s condo before we headed home – Maria got to see the married couple before they took off to Jamaica (she’s still blushing over Miles’ comment that he’d save her a dance at the reception ( when he asked her later she was too embarrassed)). Kathy had Krispy Kreme donuts and chick-a-filet sandwiches – who can resist that action?! I felt like I was in a coma after taking those down and would have paid top dollar for a chauffeured ride home.
But thank goodness for five-hour energy drinks – I was back to normal in no time flying up I-71 to Columbus and listening to M&M interchange between begging to go back to the hotel and ask ing how much longer to home every ten minutes. I knew I should have gotten some Advil with my five-hour energy drink.









