Dallas Returns – Am I dreaming?

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I loved Bobby Ewing from ages 7 to probably around 14.  I would gather up my Cheese Doritos and bean bag and sit for a night of awesomeness.  Dallas was sandwiched in between Dukes of Hazard and Falcon Crest.  Yeah, Friday nights were in two words – the bomb. 

Dallas is one of the few shows where I still remember certain episodes and nearly every actor’s name.  I used to “play” Dallas with my best girlfriend (not quite sure how we “played” Dallas but I specifically remember running up to my bedroom and yelling “Let’s play Dallas!”).  I had Patrick Duffy’s mug shot ironed onto my pastel purple t-shirt with the words “I love Bobby Ewing.” I remember wanting to be like Bobby’s wife, wasn’t Pam her name?  I remember waking up some mornings having dreamt of meeting the Dallas crew and being asked by them to star in the show.  Am I a freak, or what?!

So, with that background, you will see why I about had a heart attack when I read that Dallas is coming back on the air.  I am heading to the grocery for that bag of Doritos and hauling up Maria’s bean bag to the family room.  I can’t wait!

Pushing away

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Maria refuses to come home.  She has been in Cincinnati since Friday morning when Maggie drove her down.  Just six months ago, she would have cried for her mama after one night.  Now, she tells me to stay in Columbus and not come get her.  I can see why – she is getting pedicures and manicures from Aunt Ann, time to babysit Gracie, trips to garage sales with Aunt Julie and Terrie, and attention from her grandma and all of her cousins and other aunts.  Columbus cannot compete.

It is yet another step towards independence just like her desire to ride her bike up the street all by herself.  I remember dreaming about this type of independence when she was two and a half-years old throwing her binky at me one minute and pulling on me to hold her the next.  But now it doesn’t feel quite right.  She seems too young to be moving in this direction.  I want that two and a half-year old back even if I have to take a binky in the forehead. 

Hanging with Maggie for 3 days straight!Ahh, but in thinking harder about it, I guess I don’t.  I guess I just want the affection back, and the desire to take refuge in my arms.  Intellectually, I know that how she is acting is healthy and a sign of confidence.  I remember reading an article a while back that talked about kids’ confidence levels.  A study had shown that kids who feel comfortable holding their ground with their parents (e.g., parent wants to leave but kid says she doesn’t want to leave) are typically more self-confident because their parents have given them the opportunity to not be fearful in standing their ground (now, there obviously comes a point where this self-confidence leads to bratty and obnoxious behavior and I am sure the study went on to find those kids are now occupying positions in Congress).  I think of this study when Maria acts this way to me, and chant in my head “I have made her a self-confident girl…I have made her a self-confident girl….” 

I wonder if I will feel as strongly when Mario begins to push away?  Or is it just a mother/daughter phenomena?  I harbor dreams of Maria changing this world in some way that suits her – I’d love if her suit involves curing cancer, feeding the poor, saving the environment.  But she can’t stay snuggled under her mother’s bosom and achieve any of those aforementioned feats or others.  I have the same dreams for Mario and can only assume, since he is glued to my hip, that I will feel much the same way when he decides to unravel the tie that binds us.  Maybe this process with Ri will lessen the sting a bit with Mario.  Or maybe it will be a different set of feelings that onset with that little guy.  I should have another couple of years before I find that out.

Too cool for school

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My sis is a rockin’!  She is a superstar.  She is fab.

Sarah got the writing gene in the family.  My brother got the music gene.  And I got the left-brained, analytical gene.  But between the two of them, I have added some right-brained creativity to my world (I can draw a heck of a stick man).  Back to my sis, Sarah. Did I tell you she’s a superstar…?

Maria idolizes her and when Sarah is in town, she begs to be with her.  They do Stauf’s trips together, make collages, and take the pups on walks.  Everyone sees Sarah in Maria – she definitely has Sarah’s independent streak and her contentment with alone time.  I am hoping Maria laps up Sarah’s love of reading and writing as she heads into second grade.  Maria has framed pictures of Sarah (and Sarah’s pups) on her bed stand and she asks questions about her randomly through the week.  The other day she asked if Aunt Sarah liked first grade.  I told Ri we’d have to ask her next time she was in town, and Ri chirped “is she coming soon?!”  There is no doubt that Aunt Sarah is super cool in Ri’s eyes. 

And she is even cooler in her big sister’s eyes with all that she is accomplishing.  She recently wrote a post on turning thirty, and it allowed me to see a glimpse of the struggles that she is facing with being a traveler and being a married, mom-on-the-mind, thirty-year old woman. That she opens up to the world like she did in that piece and gives others the opportunity to ponder where they are, what they are doing, or simply get some enjoyment out of a good piece of writing, is, how can I word it?  Super Cool.  About a year ago, she started an on-line magazine, Vela, for creative non-fiction writing inspired by travel and women are the only authors.  No small task but she did it.  When I opened up Facebook this afternoon, she had posted that she was quoted in a Forbes article based on her role in Vela.  Huh?! I love that I can randomly scan Facebook and find out my sis was interviewed by a Forbes writer.  Gotta love that girl.

So, this post goes out to you, my little sis, for being one cool chick.  Take refuge in the fact that you have an adoring niece who will probably be begging to live with you in the next five years, and a gushing big sis who thinks you are awesome!

Look at me!

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Mario begged to bring in donuts for his friends today. It’s Friday so I caved in and agreed. We biked down to Tim Horton’s and he ordered 20 timbits – all chocolate except one glazed “because Fiona only likes glazed.” He already knows how to impress the ladies.

He loves to bring the donuts because everyone swarms him. Jon and I are learning that he is bound to be the class clown with all of the antics that he engages in to get attention. Last night, he shrunk his head down into his shoulders to make it look like he had no neck because he was making fun of Jon’s lack of neck and we laughed hysterically. He kept doing it over and over basking in his glory of making us laugh. And when we stopped, he tried another antic to get us going again.

He loves attention, our boy. Whether it’s through donuts or acting crazy, he’ll find it.

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Thank you, bike.

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How awesome is it to watch your first-born ride her bike confidently down the road? 

So Awesome!

Mario rode in the bike seat on my bike while Maria rode her bike ahead of us.  Maria mesmerized me as she experimented with taking one hand off the handlebar, lifting her butt off the seat, zig-zagging her bike along the sidewalk.  Wasn’t it just yesterday that she was scared to have me let go of the handlebars, and now she is a biking machine,.  I love it.  She led us all they way to Upper Arlington to play at a new park.  A cool little park with a stream and a climbing wall and fun obstacles.  When we were heading out, Mario complained that he didn’t want to leave.  She turned around and said jokingly “I knew you would be complainin’ about leaving!”  She was clearly proud that she led us to the park, and enjoying her new-found activity of biking.  We took the long way home – past all of the outdoor restaurants and shops – and she lifted her head up high as she passed the crowds.  I could feel her self-confidence even as Mario and I rode 20 feet behind her.     

Thank you, bike.

To Swim or not to Swim

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Maria cried and cried last night when we got home from work. She had gone to Swim Team practice earlier in the day and hated every second of it.

Why? Because “she just hates it. She’s bored. She came in last and she just doesn’t enjoy practice.”

Let’s parse out those reasons. The first one I tend to not give much credence to because she’s got to learn to give reasons why she doesn’t want to do something. The second – she’s bored – I also have trouble with. Life can be boring, girl. We have spoiled you by engaging in activities all the time and this is what happens.

The third one made me think and review my decision. I don’t want her to hate going to practice everyday and I don’t want her to feel self conscious about her swimming. Right now, she just enjoys being in the water and playing around and jumping off the diving board. I don’t want to push her away from that by forcing her into a sport she doesn’t want to participate in at this time. But I balance that with my strong desire to have her learn swim strokes and be a better swimmer. I could care less about the meets and competition. So which one weighs out the other?

One girlfriend said that her daughter hated it too and she told her daughter she could give swimming up but she had to take up at least one sport. Her daughter chose tennis and loved it. I am warming up to that idea with the thought that I’d still make Ri take individual swim lessons this Summer.

I am still conflicted though. I played piano for four years when I was ages 7-11 but then I begged to not practice anymore. I can’t remember how long or intensely I begged, but my parents agreed to let me stop. Now I wish they would have “made” me continue practicing. But maybe I would have rebelled if they made me keep it up at age 11 and run away and met up with bad seeds and gotten into prostitution and been killed…. It’s always easier to look at things in the past and think “if only.”

So, my gut tells me to keep her on Swim Team for two weeks. If she still hates it, then she can choose another activity. I think Jon is on board with the plan, too. Mario just thinks Maria is crazy – who wouldn’t want to compete?!

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Waking happiness

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I woke up to a little hand laying on my head and a pair of sleepy blue eyes staring at me. I hesitantly got out of bed and tripped over a pair of five-pound weights. Ugh. Open your eyes, Mary.As I headed out for a run, I hoped not to wake the snoring Maria in her room.

When I got home, Mario gave me a kiss -peck goodbye and headed out with Jon to school. Jon told me he loved me. Maria laughed at my silly antics and rode her bike outside while waiting for Maggie.

I got ready for work – a task I had no desire to perform. I wanted to stay home and play with Ri and plant flowers and pick up Mario and chat with Jon.

But, alas, life is not perfect. So I continued on my task and headed to work knowing that I’d see my darlin’ crew in a mere eight hours.

And It’s One, Two, Three Strikes You’re Out

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Mario had his first tee-ball practice this afternoon.  He was ecstatic.  He has been dreaming of this practice for weeks. 

Jon, Maria, Maggie and I all attended his first practice, and he loved us being there.  He would flag us down and yell “watch me!”  He started out throwing the ball with a friend and trying to catch the ball (tennis ball, thank goodness) with his glove.  Then he moved onto the batting practice.  He had to swing at the ball from a plastic tee.  He cranked that part of the practice connecting with the ball each time.  His partner was not such a quick study and whiffed the ball.  Mario decided to put on his coaching hat and help him out.  He approached the boy and asked to see his bat.  He then got into position and showed him how to hold the bat and then how to swing.  The boy took the bat back and swung to hit the ball.  He connected, and Mario stood behind me nodding his head up and down in coach pride.  It was hilariously sweet. 

Next, he fielded grounders in the in-field.  He did about as poorly as the other kids – we definitely need to work on catching with a glove.  But he loved it.  He kept wanting another grounder when he missed his but he soon learned the rules of practice – everyone gets a turn.  Finally, they had to run laps around the bases.  Mario loved this exercise, too.  He tried to get to the front of the line each time they ran around, and on the last round, he asked if he could go one more time.  What a munch.

Maria sat with a girlfriend who had brought her six-month old twins to practice.  She played with one twin while my girlfriend held the other.  She loves to watch babies – she picks hanging with the moms over her own friends.  She is our old soul.  But when she saw Mario rounding the bases, she quickly leapt up and ran over to third base to root him on with us.  She yelled “go Mario – you are so fast” as he rounded the base.  She stuck her arm out to deliver a high-five and he proudly slapped it as he whizzed by us.

Good Morning!

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Maria woke me up this morning at 6:20. She jumped out of our bed and shot into her room. She was dressed in 5 minutes and back in our room asking when Maggie would be over. Can we say excited?!

Maggie took Maria to the school that Maggie teaches at today. it was the last day of school for Maggie’s kiddies so they were making sundaes and watching movies. Maria was pumped. Jon said she sat on the front door steps for 10 minutes waiting for Maggie to pick her up. Doll baby girl.

Meanwhile, Mario climbed in bed with Jon and me while Maria got dressed. I tried to gently sneak out from under his arm but he quickly opened his eyes and asked “where are you going, mom?” I told him I was going for a run and I’d be back soon. He did what I knew he’d do – begged to go with me. And I responded the way I knew I’d respond – ok. So, he hopped in the stroller with the iPad and we were off. We had to make the Tim Horton’s stop to get Timbits but only after he ate a graham cracker with peanut butter so he had some nutrients swarming around his system.

We returned an hour later in order to miss seeing Maggie taking Maria for the day (Mario would have been so angry to not be included to the party). On the way down the street, Mario and I engaged in his favorite game. He says “You don’t love me mom!” and I respond “of course I love you goofy” while I reach down and tickle him. He loves this game and we play it all the way home. I pick him up out of the stroller to take him inside, and he gives me a huge bear hug as we walk in the back door and get ready for school.

A good start to the morning.

Distance really does make the heart grow fonder

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Maria Grace stayed with Jon’s mom this entire week.  We went up for Memorial Day on Monday and she just returned today.  I swear she looks two years older.  She got four inches cut off of her hair during her stay with Grandma.  She greeted me with a huge hug and smile but when I asked her how her time was with Grandma and Alana, she responded “it was fine but I don’t want to talk about it.”  Huh?! I asked her if something went wrong and she looked at me puzzled.  “No, mom, I just don’t feel like talking about it.” 

Ok.  I am not ready for this response when just two weeks ago she would have went on and on about her time with Alana and her adventures with Grandma.  Well, maybe I exaggerate a bit – she has never been that talkative about her days; but she used to at least summarize them for me!  I let it go in order to just enjoy the moment with her – soak up her smile and her laugh.  Mario yelled “Ria” when he saw her and gave her a huge hug that lasted 30 seconds.  He had been asking when she’d be home for the last three days. 

One of the first tasks that Maria set out to do when she walked in the house was write a letter to Ann Curry.  Yes, the Today Show’s Ann Curry.  Jon and I default to NBC News in the morning, and Maria enjoys watching it, too.  She loves Ann Curry; she thinks she’s smart and stylish.  Her letter told her as much and she also added a sentence stating that Ann Curry helps her learn more about the world.  Precious.  I had Maria write Ann Curry’s name and address on the front of the envelope with the hopes that it does not get pitched since it is clearly from a kid.  We will keep our fingers crossed…! 

Meanwhile, Mario and I wrestled.  He made me grab his leg each time he started to turn the DVD dial and then after I grabbed it, he shocked me with the electric waves coming out of his fingers.  I had to play dead for five seconds and then come back alive to do it all over again.  He could have played that game with me for two hours but I could only handle about 15 minutes.  I had to play a game of HeadBandz in order to get him off the wrestling kick, and then find his Spiderman costume for him to wear.

I got a massage in the mid-afternoon, which was a piece of heaven for an hour.  Is there anything better than a scalp massage at 3 pm?  And I could hire someone to rub my feet all day long and think it was money well spent.  I lifted myself off the massage table afterwards, and had deep creases along my face and legs – a sign of a good massage.  Jon decided to cook lemon chicken for dinner so we spent an hour preparing the chicken and the sides while the kids played on the computer and drew.  It was a very strange yet wonderful experience for us.  Strange to smell sweet aromas throughout the kitchen and wonderful to cook our own meal (the joke is that we have only used our pots and pans a handful of times since we were married in 2002). 

The kids even liked it!  And Maggie, hung over and all, enjoyed it, too.  After dinner, we rode our bikes up to the mailbox to deliver Ann Curry’s letter (and a b-day card to Grandma Lolo) and chow on some Orange Leaf.  Mario gave up on his bike at Stauf’s so I carried him the rest of the way (I am a sucker!).  Jon played on his new scooter for a bit; Maggie texted her friends and engaged in time trials with the kids; and I cleaned up.  A good ending to a long day.  I am excited to have Maria back with us even if she doesn’t want to divulge her week to me.  As long as I still get those hugs, I am ok.