Maria’s Doomsday

Leave a comment

Maria's attitude face (scary, heh?!)

We asked Maria to clean her room this morning.  You would have thought we told her to clean the entire house and more with the reaction that we got from her.  She produced intermittent whines and screams of “I don’t want to clean my room!” Then she went into a huge tirade about not wanting to have a room – she just wishes that we would let her live outside.  We are such horrible parents for providing her shelter.  Next she pulled out the “too tired” card but within three minutes of using that one she begged to go to the zoo and walk around the animals.  Hmmmm.  Finally, she got her dad to help her out and after ten minutes complained that she needed to lay down due to the intense work.  

Ready for a game

Maria Grace.  Meanwhile, her crazy brother was in his room shoving clothes in his drawers, pushing games in his dresser, putting animals back in the bins.  He jumped into our bedroom and pronounced “Mom and Dad, my room is clean!”  he pulled us in and rejoiced “Look at my floor – all clean!”  Anything he can do to look better than his sis, he will do.  It drives him in a worrisome fashion.  He is so competitive.   This is the kid that tells me I cannot root for him when we are playing basketball because we are on separate teams. 

Maria, on the other hand, does not have such a strong competitive side to her.  She is more inclined to want to play a game where everyone is on the same team.  However, what she lacks in competitiveness, she gains in bossiness.  She wants to be the boss in all that she does – be it with friends, Mario, or her cousin.  She wants to give the directions and lead the activity and if anyone gets in her way, she makes it clear that she is not happy with them. 

I remember going to Cincinnati for my grandmother’s surprise party and my dad taking Maria to another room to play with her while I got my grandma’s party together.  He came back cracking up.  He told me about his time with Maria, which was hysterical.  I can’t remember all of the funny things she did, but the one that sticks out still is that when my dad asked her why he could not do something she responded quickly and firmly with “Because I am the boss.”  God help the corporate world in 20 years – she will have some intern coming over to clean her New York apartment because she is the boss.

Taking the Plunge

Leave a comment

Maria and Mario took the plunge today.  Maria had taken it on Saturday and Mario was determined to follow.  

On Saturday, one of Maria’s friends bragged about going off the low diving board.  I could tell that Maria was thinking about it when he walked away.  I asked her if she wanted to give it a try, and to my surprise, she said “yes.”  She is such an enigma.  She does not want to swim much or put too much effort in splashing around with her brother but she decides to plunge off the low dive.  She has some daredevil in her.  I had to swim over to the edge of the low dive on her first jump because she was nervous of the height.  The lifeguard yelled at me about staying at the ladder so the next jump I had to stay a little farther away (although I ended up disobeying the lifeguard and getting pretty close to her again).  Today, she braved it and jumped with me hanging on to the ladder at the side of the pool.  I had to swim out to help her get her bearings but she did it all by herself! 

Mario shook and shivered while he stood one foot from the edge of the low dive board.  I had to literally stand under the board to get him to jump.  Luckily, the kids and adults were super patient and waited while Mario debated jumping off for three minutes.  When he finally decided to jump, he held his arms out and jumped feet first into the water.  Perfect!  He was charged up when he rose up from the dive shaking his head and smiling hard.  His next jump was not as pretty – he did a 90% belly flop.  When he rose up, that big smile was a grimace and he turned to me to say “My tummy hurts.” 

After the belly flop, we took a break from the diving board and played in the water.  We played shark and beauty parlor (Mario dunks me to do my hair and Maria applies my makeup).  Mario went to the baby pool while Maria and I ate cheez-its.  Mario met a few friends in the pool and began playing splashing games.  He dove in the water face first with his darlin’ goggles on and shot up out of the water yelling “Did you see that mom?!” 

He was a complete pill to try to get to leave.  Last year, he was begging to go after 20 minutes because he was so cold.  This year, I have a feeling he has taken a different turn.  Granted, it was 90 degrees today and the water was comfortable – not freezing like a lot of days last year so we’ll see once this hot streak ends.  On the stroller ride home, Mario stared out into space.  I asked what was wrong, and he didn’t respond right away.  After a few seconds, he finally replied “Mom, I just wish I could be at the pool right now.”  Maria, being the diplomatic one, told him that we would head back this week and have a lot of fun but that we had to head over to Aunt Carrie and Uncle Patrick’s house now.  Mario turned to her and said “Ok, Ri” and Maria patted his head.  Ahh, I could eat these two babes up at times like those.

Chillin’ at the Creek

Leave a comment

We woke up last Sunday morning and engaged in an old ritual – donuts from Tim Horton’s.  The kids were able to wear only their nighties as we strolled down to the donut shop.  They have not been able to do that for eight months.   We decided as we chowed down on our timbits that we would head to Battelle Darby Creek in the afternoon.  The kids went there with their Peepaw earlier in the week and loved it. 

Lookin' good for the creek

As soon as we got home, Maria and I stuffed our backpacks full of random eats, water, and towels.  The kids wore their bathing suits under their clothes with the hopes we could get into the creek.  With all of the rain, I was worried that it would be too swollen and rushing.  With sunglasses and sunscreen on, we hopped in the car and headed west.  The creek was only 20 minutes away and as we pulled up, Maria shouted “this is where we parked with Peepaw.”  My dad knew she would remember everything when I asked him for directions, where to park, and where to enter.   

We hit the Overlook Trail first because it was only about 600 feet total in length.  We learned about the glaciers that used to inhabit this part of Ohio and how they created the valley we saw below.  Later in the trip, Maria asked “can we see the glaciers?”  Our next trail expanded further.  While we headed down the wood steps,

Throwing rocks and watching for water snakes!

Maria yelped.  She was just ahead of me and Mario was ahead of her.  When I glanced down at her, I saw a dark-colored snake slithering over the side of the step to the woods.  Mario was so upset he did not spot it.  Unfortunately for him, he does not have quite the eagle eyes that Maria has inherited from her dad.  I congratulated Maria on her keen eyesight and she smiled at me.  But when we got to a little pool of water, she refused to put her feet in for fear that a water snake would “kill her.”  Everywhere she stepped, she looked around her to ensure there were no snakes slithering her way.  Mario was hilarious trying to calm her down “Maria, mommy will protect you.”  “Maria, you don’t have to be scared; just throw a rock at a snake and it will go away.”  “Hold my hand Maria, I have you.” 

Maria braving the waters and Mario being way too daring!

I started to fret at the thought of having her be too scared to ever want to go in the woods again.  One of my favorite activities with the kids and that darn snake would ruin it.  But, my girl came through after we left the pool of water.  We went back to put on our shoes and clothes and keep down the trail.  Maria complained of being hungry and not wanting to see a snake but then we found a small hill that led to a gentle opening to the creek.  A family stood in the water.  Mario threw off his shoes, and ran down the hill to the water.  He picked up a stick and stood calf high in the creek.  Maria hesitated, and I held my breath, but then she walked down the hill and stood in the water with Mario.  There were two girls and a boy in the water with their mom and dad and the two girls were sitting on rocks in the water and laying on their bellies letting the creek water push them around.  That is all Maria needed.  She moved closer to them and tried it out, too.  Before I knew it, I was warning her to not go too deep.  She was cured of her water snake fear.  Mario spent the entire time using his stick as a sword and a water splashing tool.  Happily, he did not use it to hit anyone in the family next to us.

Self-timed shot after chowing on lunch

After 30 minutes in the creek, we stepped out to eat lunch on the hillside.  If I was a poet, I would have had everything I needed to write a famous poem while sitting at lunch with the kids.  As we ate our pretzels and cereal bars and cheese and crackers, a Mexican mother and four young kids arrived and jumped into the creek.  They exhibited pure, unadulterated joy as they splashed around in the water and the mom laughed while taking pictures and talking in Spanish to them.  Joy is universal.  A centipede moseyed up the tree in front of us – Maria, of course, pointed him out to us.  “Really?” I thought as I laughed about how perfect the day was turning out to be.

We were pretty exhausted when we walked out to the car (after a jaunt on the playground that has a small climbing wall – both kids scaled it like pros).  Mario wanted a movie but the movie he had chosen for the ride out to the creek was horrid – massive killing and blood.  I guess we didn’t read the rating on the movie box even though it was a PG movie and still contained all of that nastiness.  Mario was livid when I took it out on the ride over; Maria felt so bad she told me she would close her eyes and sing so that Mario could watch it.  Instead, she got to hear Mario cry and scream for 10 minutes until I said “Look at the cows out the window” and that little mind went from pissed off to amazed at the sight of bovine grazing in the field. 

Ahh, picture perfect babes.

 I really wanted a McDonald’s diet cooke and small fries and quiet for a half hour so I went all out and stopped at Giant Eagle to see if they had a movie to buy (yes, desperation!).  Besides, we needed a new movie to add to our repertoire.  Of course, they had nothing less than $24,99 and as much as I was tempted to go for it, my practical, money-conscious self could not do it.  On the way out, we saw a Red Box Video.  We see people at those boxes in Grandview all the time but we had never made the dive to do it ourselves.  We went for it and rented Toy Story 3 for $1.00.  By the time we got in the car, buckled up, and turned it on, Mario was passed out.  Maria hung in there with me but sat quietly watching the movie while I enjoyed the quiet ride home with my salty french fries. 

What a marvelous, awesome afternoon.  I have thought about that afternoon almost every day this week, especially when I started to get irritated with a colleague or a work situation.  I remember Maria lying on her belly in the water or Mario trying to skip a rock and they at the least made me smile and at times, even helped produce a significant attitude adjustment on my part.  Nourishing moments for the soul.

Running (after my sis)

1 Comment

Sarah and Stella

Years ago when my younger sis (by 10 years) was in high school and deeply involved in sitting at the coffee shop with her friends philosophizing about life as she knew it at age 16, I was the workout monster in the family.  I ran, lifted weights, biked, taught aerobics.  And no one could beat me in a run.  My sis, Sarah, was known for her writing and her love of books.  One of her favorite activities was sitting in the bathtub with her favorite book and reading for two hours.  My brother loved his music, and should adore my parents for letting him spend countless hours in the basement jammin’ away on his drums and sax.  When we went on family hikes, I was the one with ten rocks in my pockets to give me an extra struggle as I climbed up a hill.

Meg and I braving the steps when we visited for Sarah's wedding

Then my sis grew up.  And as she aged, she found a love for running.  Afterall, she has the perfect runner shape – 100 pounds when wet and just tiny!  Her running has been a constant for her as she traveled to different countries and engaged with new people and new work.  I will never forget going to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit her.  She had told me about a course that she ran almost daily with her dog, Stella.  I couldn’t wait to check it out when I arrived.  The first morning after I landed, we awoke to a gorgeous 65 degree day.  She asked if I was ready to go.  ‘Of course”, I thought. 

We walked to the steps that we had to climb to get to the path that led to the trail.  I had heard rumors about these steps from Meg and my dad who had visited Sarah earlier in the year.  “Horrid” and “killer” were adjectives I remember hearing upon their return.  We ran up all of them (at least 150) to a plateau that overlooked some of Oaxaca.  “Ok”, I thought, “I can hang although my heart was beating quite fast.  We continued up a brick path to the trail.  One long hill.  When we got to the trail, I was again winded but continued to smile and assure Sarah I was ok.  Then, the trail.  Heaven help me.  Every time you thought you had reached the top, you found out it was just a short plateau with more hill up ahead.  I was sweating through every pore of my body, and my legs burned like they had been thrown in a fire pit.   

I thought “I have met my match.”

When Sar and I returned home, I laid on the bed massaging my legs and getting my breathing back to normal.  It was at that moment that I knew my reign as workout monster of the Menkedick family was, if not over, at least shared with my sis. 

Sar and I on a bus trip in Oaxaca

So, it is that realization and determination to keep up with her that led me to agree to run the Columbus Marathon with her in October.  She is already cranking out 10-15 miles with no problem.  I have been trying to run more on the mornings that Jon is home and I am able to get out.  I used to run 3-5 miles and then spend a decent amount of time lifting at the gym.  Now, I am running 6-10 and doing less lifting.  I went out this morning and took the bike course downtown and back for ten miles.  In the beginning of the run, you always feel so strong and so free – zoning out to NPR and thinking about events from the past week, what you have going on in the future (a side note – for a mom of two, this freedom and time away is crucial).  By the middle of the run, when you are farthest away from the house, you start to wonder why you went so far and your legs start to wonder with you.  By the end of the run, you just keep repeating “You can do it. You can do it. Don’ think about it anymore, just keep going.”  Then you finish.  And you have that gratification down in the deepest part of your soul that you completed what you set out to complete.  Your body feels wasted and tired but also surprisingly refreshed – you worked all of those toxins out and as spent as you are, you are also so alive.

Nonetheless, as much as I appreciate the thrill of a good, long run, that good, long run has consisted of 10 miles – not 26.  I am not so headstrong to go the 26 in October if I am hurting (my IT band has not been cooperating with me lately).  Of course, I am fully aware that because I am a Menkedick, I can talk the talk now but come race day, I will need to be completely unable to stand on my legs before I will give up. 

I will just have to depend on that little sis of mine to take care of me.

Field Days

Leave a comment

Maria walking to school on field day

Maria had a field day today at school.  She got to go outside on the playground in the morning and play random games (Memory, tictactoe) and draw with chalk all over the blacktop.  Then she was treated to a pizza lunch with chocolate milk and the Toy Story 3  movie in the afternoon.  During the movie, the kids got snacks and juice.  When she got home, she proudly declared “Mom, guess what?  We did not have to do any work today!” 

I remember field days during my days at Nativity school in Pleasant Ridge.  I remember walking across the street to the park and playing softball, competing in three-legged races, and eating lunch in the grass with my friends.  I remember being so excited about field day because all I did was play, especially softball.  One year, I went to steal home and my teacher, Mr. Beiting, winged the softball towards the catcher and it hit me in the head.  Of course we did not wear helmets back then so I had a nice-sized bruise on the side of my head for a while.  But even with that hit, I continued to love to play. 

Maria running to school on field day!

Like her mama, Maria was most excited about hanging out with her girlfriends and not having to do any school work for the day.  I think she has had a really good first year of school with only occasional whining and crying about having to go (and those times were usually when she was absolutely exhausted).  In the beginning of the year, we experienced some drama with a couple of the other girls in her class (every girl wanted to be friends with one particular girl so when that particular girl chose someone other than Maria, Maria would get sad, angry, depressed and either completely close up or act out.  When she acted out, she further alienated the particular girl and the girl who was playing with her, which in turn, got Maria more sad, depressed, angry.  I finally convinced her that it was not worth her time and energy to worry about the particular girl – she just needed to go to school and make other friends and have fun.  It took a while to sink in but of course, as soon as it did, the particular girl warmed up to her because, after all, my daughter is beyond super cool. 

Ri is heading to Kids Club this year for two days a week.  We picked two of the funnest days – Monday and Tuesday.  Monday is pool day. They walk to the pool with their packed lunches and swim for a few hours.  On Tuesday, they go on a field trip ranging from an audobon center to an inflatable fun house, to a state park.  I think she will love those opportunities. 

I am actually extremely jealous and want to go on most of these trips with her.  I think they should have field days or field trips for parents.  Could you imagine going into work in your sweats and t-shirt, meeting up with your colleagues, getting in line, heading out the door, and walking to the closest park.  Once there, you take out your water bottle, get a drink, and head out to the green field for some dodgeball.  Next, you play a game of softball, and then you wind down with some Duck Duck Goose.  Lunch is PB&J with cheetos and a chocolate pudding.  After lunch, you resume activities getting more dirty, more exhausted, and more slap happy.  By the end of the day, you go home and think “What a great day – life is good. I have great colleagues, work is wonderful for letting us unwind, and I am ready to crank it out for my precious employer tomorrow.”  Imagine how much more positive we would be after one simple day like that. 

So, let’s start an on-line lobbying movement to enact federal law requiring one field day a quarter for employees –  mandatory game-playing, mandatory participation, mandatory letting loose.  I bet ya productivity would sky-rocket within six months.  A win-win for all!

I owe ya one, babe.

Leave a comment

One of the tender moments

So I had a horrible day.  The weather simply can’t get any more ridiculous between the spattering rain and the grey overcast skies and the windy bitter air.  I had to speak at an event and felt like a bumbling idiot.  Mario spilled chocolate milk and ketchup all over the sofa. Cy licked what he could before I got to him, and then proceeded to puke it all up so I got the added pleasure of not only wiping up milk and ketchup but also doggie throw-up and saliva.  Maria is going through 6-year-old menopause complaining of heat attacks and kicking all around on the couch until she jabbed me in the thigh. Work is gearing up again and I am losing the one person I have relied on the past two months to another job.  I haven’t had a good workout in at least five days, which is an eternity for me. 

I did get my hubby back tonight, though, and he even put the kids to bed.  He also reminded me of how precious life can be amongst all the turmoil and craziness of the day.  When he came through the door, the kids’ faces lit up and they chimed in unison “Daddy!”  He had arrived home at 10 pm from a day trip New York (got up at 4:45 am).  As much as the kiddies can get on my nerves, I would much rather come home to them then be forced to fly on those day trips.  So, I decided to calm myself down by reading through some quotes about life and found this one:

Why does a person even get up in the morning?  You have breakfast, you floss your teeth so you’ll have healthy gums in your old age, and then you get in your car and drive down I-10 and die.  Life is so stupid I can’t stand it.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

I laughed out loud at the rawness of it and the notion struck me as so true, at times – until you have someone who loves you remind you that it’s not all that bad and the sweet, tender moments are worth living for… Thanks, babe, for getting me through tonight.

Lettin’ loose on a Thursday afternoon

Leave a comment

My grandma has not been feeling well for a couple of weeks.

Work has been stressful and energy-draining.

The kids have been going non-stop with school and parties. 

I felt disengaged and needed to take a break from the normal routine.  I moved my meetings so I had a blank sheet on Thursday afternoon.  I picked Mario up from school at 1:15 just as he was laying down to take a nap.  When he saw me, he shot straight up in the air and asked “Are we leaving, mom?”  When I responded affirmatively, he leapt in the air, grabbed my hand, and shot towards the door. 

Mario concentrating on Wii

“Did you bring the bike, mom?”

“I did, little man.”

“Good, we can save energy!”  I have been trying to teach him about the importance of riding bikes and walking over taking a car everywhere and was happy to hear some of it was sinking in to his budding brain. We clipped on his Spiderman helmet and rode down the bike path.  On the way down the path, Mario turned his head around to me. 

“Mom, thanks for picking me up early today – it made me really happy.  We are going to have fun today!” 

Chalk that moment up for one to put in the memory banks.  The statement absolutely blew me away with the warmth and genuineness of it.  I let him play a game of Wii basketball when we got home while I packed our bag.  Yes, a bag for a three-hour stay in Cincy.  I packed an extra set of clothes, nighties, extra shoes, popcorn, pretzels, and ham.  Jon is still amazed at my strange packing habits but you can never have enough food – you never know when you might get a flat tire out in the middle of nowhere and be stranded for three days until discovered (even on a straight shot down I-71!).  My girl would not be able to live on berries. 

M&M with great-grandma

Mario and I picked up Maria an hour early from school.  We stopped at the gas station for gas, pop, and chips, and got on our way (this has been our routine since Maria was a baby – nothing better than a long road trip with pop and snacks!).  I promised the kids we would stop at French Park (the park I went to during my childhood) if they promised they would be good when we visited Great Grandma at her assisted living apartment.  It was strange to drive on the street I used to travel on as a kid.  Memories popped up in my head with each new block we passed.  French Park looked the exact same as it did when I was a kid.  We parked at the top of the first hill and walked down to the creek.  The kids hopped the rocks to the other side of the trail.  Maria found a set of stairs and we followed those through the enchanted forest with the overhanging trees and vines and the delicate flowers.  When we got to the top of the stairs, we noticed tracks from an animal.  Maria thought a dog, Mario thought a lion.  As we continued, Mario spotted a rabbit amongst the tress.  He was so proud of himself repeating to me every five minutes “I spotted a rabbit, mom!” 

After a few minutes, the kids decided that they wanted to head back down to the creek.  The thought of dipping their toes in the water was too enticing. 

M&M in the creek

We found a good spot to take off our shoes and socks, and we gingerly stepped into the freezing cold water.  The sun beamed through the spaces of leaves in the trees and the rocks seemed perfectly placed to lead us down the creek.  Maria tried to find frogs (for me) and Mario found rocks that resembled guns and acted like he was the captain of a boat fighting off pirates.  We threw rocks in the water (after trying to skip them with no luck (pee-paw is needed)) and splashed each other.  The kids had a blast.  When we headed back to the beginning of the trail, they both begged to come back to the park again.  I need to look for some good ones in Columbus – there is such a sense of gratitude and appreciation that floods over me when I hike and play in nature and I think it infiltrates the kids as well.  They were so good on the way to Great Grandma’s house and at her house, too.  It can be a battle to keep them under control in her apartment because it is so small and there is not a lot to do. But on this day, they played quietly with her blocks and balloons, ate their dinner, and stayed quiet while I talked with Great Grandma.  I did poke them a few times to make sure they were not aliens who had stolen my children. 

Deep in thought

We ended to trip with baths at Grandma Lolo’s house and a walk on the golf course.  The kids found 5 balls each, and were so excited to bring them home to show Papa Rod.  The ride home was even a positive because both kids fell asleep before home.  Maria fell asleep within ten minutes (as always). Mario watched Scooby Doo.  I kept hoping I would turn around and see him asleep so I could just put them both in bed when we got home and I could relax (otherwise, Mario gets his second wind and takes forever to fall asleep).  With about 20 minutes left to go, I glanced back to see if he had fallen asleep and saw that he had unclipped his seatbelt.  I scolded him and demanded that he re-buckle it.  He started wailing and could not get himself together to buckle up so I had to pull over and do it for him.  He cried and cried.  I held his hand for about a minute as I stood outside the car and looked down to see he was sleeping.

The Elephants

Leave a comment

Playing at the park

We waited for an hour only to see elephants walk down Goodale Avenue in three minutes flat.  The annual circus came to town on Tuesday night, and as part of the festivities, the elephants get dropped off in our town and walk to the arena.  I think I have gone every year since Maria was two.  As we walked down the hill to Goodale Avenue, a group of eccentric, tattooed teenagers walked up the hill towards us.  Some were smoking, others drinking Mountain Dew.  I had a hunch they may have been with the circus gang, and we were worried that we were late so I asked them if they had seen the elephants.  They chuckled and replied “We have seen too many elephants – we are trying to get away from them!”  My hunch was right, and we weren’t late.   Alleluia.  

When we arrived, there were about 20 other families in the park playing on the swings and slides and glancing up at the street every few minutes to see if there were any elephants in sight.  We played around at the park for what seemed like a year since it was nearing bedtime when we heard a man drive by in a pick-up truck with a circus emblem on it yelling out his window “the elephants are coming.”  All of the parents scurried up the hill to the curb of the street squinting down the road to try to catch a glimpse of the mammoth creatures.  But, alas, no elephants. 

M&M watching the elephants

I looked around at the other parents who looked irritated about the delay.  The kids started to whine and pull at their parents’ shirts and pants.  Others complained about the gnats and the heat (including my little dears).   My mind went back to the man who yelled from his pick-up – he probably had no idea when the elephants were coming – he just liked to play that game to see a bunch of gaggling parents run at his command.  After all, who were we to whine and complain about the delay when he and the rest of his crew spent countless hours on a train and would likely spend countless hours preparing for the circus this weekend.  We, on the other hand, would head back to our quaint houses and snuggle into our warm beds for a good night’s sleep.  

I tried to keep that in mind as I listened to Mario complain about the gnats and itching and Maria complain about being hot.  One of my biggest pet peeves is the act of judging, and I find that I engage in that act when I am irritable, frustrated and tired.  So, I kept my spirits up by thinking about how grateful I was to have the time to spend with M&M, to get to see elephants walking by us, to have the energy to stroll the kids to the park.  And, then, ta-da!  The elephants arrived.  There was even a baby elephant holding onto its mommy’s tail with its trunk.  Precious. 

Maria acting like the 30 year old exec

When we woke the next morning, I took Maria to school.  It was her first day of going into her

Mario getting ready for the bike ride

classroom all by herself.  They are trying to prepare the kids for next year when they are encouraged to go into the classroom without parents.  She did pretty good even though I saw her furtively glance back at me with a sad little face.  Mario and I decided that she would be just fine and left to get the bike to take Mario to school.  It is an old beat up Trek with a child seat in the front.  We hopped on the bike and headed down Third Avenue.  On our way down, Mario pointed out the birds in the grass and the dandelions growing in the field off the road.  Excitement and wonder filled his voice, and I felt like we should be plastered on the front of a Norman Rockwell magazine.  All I needed was a long flowing dress as I rode my bike to top off the picture.  I walked into work feeling energized and again, grateful for something as simple as a 15 minute bike ride with my son. 

Girls and Slumber Parties

1 Comment
Only 5 out of 7 girls showed up.  The gods treated me well last night.  

Maria and the girls dancing to Justin B!

Why did I decide to agree to host a slumber party for Maria and six of her kindergarten friends?  Because I am a sucka!  I remember back to the thrill of my b-day parties as a kid and I want Maria to have those same opportunities.  THen again, I think I fantasize about the b-day parties of my childhood.  I believe I had one party in 6th grade where we danced to Barry Manilow and ate cake and I am fairly certain got into a number of spats about who would sit next to who at the table and who would dance with who on the floor.  I remember another at my friend’s house at age 13 when I got teased the entire time about being on my period.  Maybe I have such fond memories of slumber parties because they should be the ultimate girl-bonding experiences.  A flock of young girls together in a room talking about our stories, boys, teachers, parents.  Maybe it is like childbirth where it hurts when you go through it (aka, talk about my period) but then long after the event, you are glad you experienced it.  Who knows.  The bottom line is that I agreed to host this soiree by my lonesome because Jon was smart enough to hit the road with Mario.  

At the craft table

Most moms I spoke to about the event nodded their head side-to-side and sighed invariably thinking “thank god it is not me.”  Amazingly enough, it was fun – a lot of work and refereeing – but fun.  The girls arrived at 5 pm with their mini-sleeping bags and princess covered pillows.  They sported huge smiles but hesitant moves as they stepped into our house for a full night away from their folks.  I had a craft table set up with glue and stickers and puff balls and paper and tiaras for them to create works of art for themselves and their moms since mother’s day was the next day.  A very smart move I learned a half of an hour later when they remained enmeshed in decorating their tiaras and making pictures for their moms.  I looked at my watch and thought “Sweet – a whole half of an hour gone already just with working on crafts!”

Preparing their dance moves.

Maria was the first to get antsy and ran into the living room shouting “Let’s put out our sleeping bags!”  Megan, Maria’s babysitter stopped by at that time and ended up staying for a while (thank god).  She must have had that babysitter antennae pop up and sense I needed assistance.  Sure, I could have handled it on my own but it was a godsend to have another adult body in the house to referee disputes, help with music, prepare barbies’ outfits.  Megan stayed long enough to watch the dance contest (Justin Bieber dancers versus Big Time Rush dancers) and allow me to start some pasta and garlic bread for dinner.

After the dance contest and some intense Barbie playing, the girls came down for dinner.  Everyone ate up the pasta (only one girl complained about the pasta and she got a PB&J sandwich).  I forgot about the garlic bread in the midst of the chaos of trying to referee who got to tell the next Knock Knock joke and woke up this morning to nine pieces of toast hardened in the oven.  The Knock Knock jokes always contained a reference to “boobs” or “butt” or “penis” or “poop” or “fart.”  I thought these words were only used in the boy purview….  They had each other cracking up throughout dinner, and were ready to head outdoors after they finished. 

Heading to get yogurt

The rain had slowed down so we got out the umbrellas and headed to the new yogurt shop, Orange Leaf.  I was hesitant to go there because I knew all of the girls would want to fill the humongous paper cups up to the rim and then put 2 tons of toppings on their creations.  I tried my hardest to police the yogurt and topping output but it was a lost cause.  I have been there before – my eyes used to perk open at the dessert bar at Ponderosa so I couldn’t deny them the experience of loading on gummy worms, skittles, brownies, fruit loops and oreos.  Maria, of course, had been talking all week about getting a mile high yogurt since it was her b-day but she went fairly easy on me.  Some of the other girls, not so much.  I walked out with a $30 bill for seven yogurts and with a pound of yogurt left over.  After about five to ten bites, each girl looked at me and pronounced “I am finished, Mary.”  Of course, what does the Grandma Menkedick in me do?  I put all of the yogurts together in two bowls and took them home to eat as leftovers.  I got one out after the girls began watching their movie, and about threw up with the foul combination of fruity pebbles, cherry brownie, mint chips, and skittles mixed in with pineapple yogurt.  What was a I thinking? 

My girlfriend, Amy picked us up in her big ol’ van when we were finished because the rain had moved from a shower to a downpour.  The thought of trying to get the girls home without someone ruining their shoes or getting a cold from the weather led me to agree to just throw them in a van and get ’em home.  Amy brought her son Zach who is in Maria’s class.  He is a fireball of energy and the house felt like I tornado was running through it as soon as all of the kids entered the door.  Poor Amy was ready to lose it.  I amazed her with my calm and my humor in it all.  I told her it comes with the territory when your family is as loud and rambunctious as my family was growing up in Cincy. 

Amy and I with the kiddies

Amy si an artist and she saved me by bringing tile and paint over to the house for the kids to make pictures for their moms.  Of course, they were all pumped up on sugar from the Orange Leaf so what was supposed to be a gentle process of dipping thumbs and fingers into paint to rub on the tiles became whole hands and feet thrown into the paint and smashed onto the tile.  Sans sugar, I think we may have had a less insane process and a more intelligible piece of art for the moms but hey…

After the wash-up, Zach got attacked by the girls for the tenth time but he took it in good spirits; in fact, I think he rather enjoyed it by his begging Amy not to leave.  Maria impressed me with her compromising skills when it came time for the movie.  She had really wanted to watch Barbie or Eloise but none of the girls took to those movies.  A majority of them wanted the Secret Garden – the one movie that I made Maria get from the library against her will.  Maria graciously allowed for that movie to be viewed after I spoke with her about being a host of a party.  She makes her mama proud. 

What a life!

We started the movie at 9:40, popcorn was ready by 9:50 and the girls were snug in their sleeping bags with their kernels of corn by 10 pm.  I wiped my hands clean and thought “Ahh, now to rest.”  Ha! My sweet Maria and her friend Anna were asleep by 10:20 but the remaining gals took advantage of no parents, lots of sweets, and an easy-going chaperone.  They ran around the house, they made more crafts, they ate more food.  11 pm came and went and they begged me to stay up until midnight.  I agreed thinking they would have to be exhausted by then. Midnight came and went.  I decided to clean up the downstairs (why do this with the morning bringing renewed chaos?) and let them stay up longer figuring they did not have much more gas left.  Finally, at 1:15, I made them go to Maria’s bed and close their eyes.  I literally had to stand next to their side to make them not speak to each other.  Finally, at 2 am, they were all asleep.  A miracle.  I slept downstairs on the couch because I was worried about one of them getting up in the night and escaping through the front door.  Can we say neurotic? 

After a restless night of sleep, I was awoken by Maria Grace who sauntered down the steps at 7:15 am.  Alana came

next and then Anna.  The other night owls slept in until 9 am.   We ate donuts and cinnamon rolls for breakfast and watched Barbie Diamond Castle until the moms showed up at 9:30 or so. Overall, I would have to say it was a success.  Maria had a great time with her new girlfriends, her girlfriends enjoyed going somewhere new and playing together, and some moms got to take the night off and relax. 

Amazingly, I didn’t feel too bad the next day.  A little groggy at first but nothing that donuts couldn’t fix.  However, the next slumber party will have a Barry Manilow dance-off.

Shout out to Moms

2 Comments

M&M hanging with their mama

Mother’s Day is this weekend.  I hope for a few hours to veg alone either at Stauf’s or on a massage table or on a run along the river.  I hope for nothing more than a couple of home-made pictures from M&M telling me that I am the bomb and that I am super cool. 

I remember reading Anne Lamott’s piece on Mother’s Day (Why I hate Mother\’s Day) a year or so ago.  My girlfriend at the time was contemplating whether to have a child – she is a professional with a good job, husband, house, dogs and she is heavily involved in the community. 

In thinking about her dilemma, I thought about what M&M have brought to my life.  Can I imagine life without them now?  No way.  Could I have imagined life without kids before I had them.  Probably.  It would have allowed me to get more involved in the community, go to events I wanted to attend whenever I wanted to do so, get up in the morning and go for a long run, have more freedom to do just what I desired.  Now I have to adjust my schedule for the kids and give up on events and gatherings that I would otherwise be inclined to attend because I want to be with M&M (and when I don’t to be with them particularly, I feel obliged to be!).  I would never regret the decision to have my munchballs – they fill me with joy and amazement and good times – but I do believe that a person can decide to forego the baby route and still lead a fulfilling, complete life as Anne Lamott argues in her piece.  My girlfriend ended up going the baby route and she has her ups and downs and her frustrations like all of us moms do.  And I know that she does not regret her decision but I am sure there are those days that we all have where we daydream about all we were able to do in this world “pre-baby.”

Me and my girls with sweet baby Grace

I don’t mind the idea of a Mother’s Day celebration or any “Hallmark” celebration for that matter.  We lead such hectic lives that if it takes a special day to make us slow down to recognize the people who mean the most to us, why not?  Earlier today, I watched the newscasters on NBC became emotional when looking back at their moms’ presence in their lives.  As much as I wanted to roll my eyes at this manufactured sentimentality, I found myself thinking about the women in my life and feeling appreciation and gratitude for their presence in my life.  In the end, it is those moments we have throughout our days that keep us plugging along the bumpy road that life can bring us. 

I hope that my mom realizes how much I love her in spite of our battles throughout high school and college.  I now look back at those spats and my anger and frustration and don’t see the woman I saw through my 17 year-old eyes; rather, I see a woman who was full of passion and wonder and yearning to try to find herself and the life that she wanted to live –

My mom and Ri

very similar to the struggle I face in juggling motherhood, my job, being a wife and a member of my community.  Now she has stepped into the grandma role helping me raise M&M and giving me a sounding board whenever I struggle with work issues or anxiety about whether I am damaging my children.  She has reinforced in me that I am a strong, intelligent woman, and she has always supported me.   

Meg and Ri

      

I hope that my stepmom realizes how much I love her for sticking with our crazy clan during the roughest of times (me as a teenager and Sarah as a toddler – god help her).  Meg-pie walks to her own tune refusing to conform to any norm.  She exudes confidence and strength and has always provided support and comfort to me in the worst of times (between breaking up with my high school boyfriend to managing a rogue boss).  She has taught me to always question and to always wonder – as hard and taxing as it may be at times – it’s the only way to grow. 

Patty with M&M

I hope that Patty realizes how much I love her for being a warm, dynamic mom to Jon and providing him with the skills and compassion to be such a loving father to M&M.  Patty exudes energy and has a zest for life that challenges my energy (and we’re thirty years apart!).  She has gone to the limits for M&M taking them for days at a time and playing with them for hours on end.  She gives her whole self to her family, and never declines a chance to spend time with us.  Her spirit is infectious. 

Great Grandma!

I hope that my Grandma Menkedick realizes how much I love her because she is an amazing, incredible, persevering woman who has made a mark on me that serves me well every day of my life (my late Grandma Heile also serves the same role for me).  G-ma teaches me to be humble and gracious and to stand up for myself.  She is the first one to tell me that I need to tell my boss that I won’t work late hours; tell M&M that bedtime is at 9 pm and there will be no getting out of bed; and make my body take some rest time.  She keeps me in line and she reminds me of the power of living in the moment and appreciating the small things be it vegetables ripe from the field or watching late-night tv on the couch with a glass of coke and Pringles.

I have been lucky to have so many strong, energetic, passionate players in my life, many of them women. As Anne Lamott states:

“The main thing that ever helped mothers was other people mothering them; a chain of mothering that keeps the whole shebang afloat. I am the woman I grew to be partly in spite of my mother, and partly because of the extraordinary love of her best friends, and my own best friends’ mothers, and from surrogates, many of whom were not women at all but gay men. I have loved them my entire life, even after their passing.”

So on this Mother’s Day, I give a shout out to all of those women and the many others who have marked my life – thanks for bringing me the experiences that have led me to who I am today.  I love you all.