Another save by Anne Lamott

1 Comment

Maria and Mario enjoying the slide on one of our routine park trips!

Anne Lamott deserves eternal grace and love.  She continues to pull me through rough times and ground me on this Earth, feet flat, eyes ahead, mouth situated upwards.  Not even my hubby or my kids can take me to the place she leads me where I feel a deep comfort and appreciation for all I have and who I am.  No matter if I just had a wreck of work day, a blowout with my kids, a frantic eating frenzy of chocolate and pizza – her stories penetrate. 

I read her story about her friend David Roche tonight ( http://www.davidroche.com/anne-lamott/).  I have read it at least ten times before but I specifically hunted it down on the internet tonight because I knew it would lift me up.  David is a humorist.  He happens to have a facial deformity, too.  He uses it to lift people out of their house of fear and to open up their mind to the beauty in their world.  He talks about the fleeting moments of true happiness and bliss. 

…[E]veryone has come to understand that unconditional love is a reality, but with a shelf life of about eight to ten seconds. Instead of beating yourself up because you feel it only fleetingly, you should savor those moments when it appears. As David puts it, “We might say to our beloved, ‘Honey, I’ve been having these feelings of unconditional love for you for the last eight to ten seconds.’ Or, ‘Darling, I’ll love you till the very end of dinner.'”

Mario's tenth silly face

Oh, how true.  I have been beating myself up lately because of my irritation with not feeling more of these incredible, awe-inspiring moments on a routine basis but this brings me back to reality.  Stop wishing for more of these moments and instead relish in the moments that do come my way.  I am quite sure that Maria’s raucous laugh or Mario’s silly faces or Jon’s adoring comments could produce an unconditional love-filled moment or two but I often brush it aside as I try to plan for the next day or the upcoming meal or bath time.  I will try to let it wash over me from now on and live in that moment of bliss. 

Maria laughing it up after diving in the pool with her clothes on!

I took Maria and Mario to the park tonight to play in the sand volley ball court and run around the jungle gym.  A group of parents were in the park with their kids watching them play soccer.  I stood talking with another mom who was holding one of her newborn twins.  As I stood with her, I occasionally glanced over at M&M who were skipping through the sand and dragging sticks behind them.  I watched them as they ran together to the jungle gym and Maria teased Mario all the way up the stairs to the slide and then helped him situate himself to go down feet first.  They giggled together and yelled for each other.  I look back on those moments this evening as I sit at this computer and I smile.  What more to wish for at this time in life than a pair of kids who find humor in each other and enjoy the outdoors and nature and fresh air and fall nights.  We are blessed by someone or something to be able to take in all of the smells of Fall, all of the energy of young kids, all of the beauty of a falling sun. 

M&M hanging tight on the ride home

Thanks, Anne, for letting me mediate on this tonight.

Happy Birthday, Little Man

1 Comment

Baby Mario

 Mario turned three today. 

It was right about the time I am writing this post that I was pushing him out with such intensity I swore that I was going to split in half on the birthing table.  Yeah, after him, I swore I would never go through the birthing process again without drugs.  

Yet, here we are today laughing hysterically as he sings “I like to Move It, Move It.  I like to Shake It, Shake It” while he lifts his right leg in the air and shakes his booty.  

Mario enjoying the heat and the pool.

 Here we are basking in the sun as Mario runs around the back yard with Maria goofing off in his new “cool pool.”

Here we are today listening to him explain how his new plastic sharp tooth dinosaur has sharp teeth but his arms are too small for his body.  

Mario playing dinosaur with Maria (roaring like the sharptooth roar!)

Here we are today smiling as we see the thrill he gets from tossing big boulders into the river and making a SPLASH! 

Mario waiting to throw his boulder in the river

Here we are today laying with him in Maria’s bed because he continues to jump out of his crib and run downstairs or in Maria’s room to play and the only way to get him down is to lay with him in Maria’s room and rub his back.  

Here we are today patiently waiting for him to get dressed and put his sock on with the line perfectly across his toes.  

Water Mario!

Here we are today playing in the pool with him and watching him go underwater for the first time this summer!

The next rock star drummer!

Here we are today cringing as he cries hysterically because he does not want to eat his breakfast but rather, he wants to eat M&Ms or brownies.  

Mario trying to cajole me for M&Ms

 Here we are today holding our ears as he bangs on the drums at the local arts festival impressing the drummer enough to be given his drumsticks.  

Here we are today hearing him beg his sister to read Pocahontas to him for the fifth time in a row. 

"Please read Pocohontas, Maria!"

Here we are today watching him cuddle up with his three-year old blue blankie and his trusted binkie.  

Here we are today amazed at how he recites his ABC’s and sings “Baby Bumblebee.” 

Here we are today anticipating Maria’s exasperation as Mario begs Maria, after five previous “tricks” to “watch one more trick, Ria.” 

Sleeping beauties

 Here we are today sighing as we go upstairs to bed and see that Mario has climbed into Maria’s bed to fall asleep. 

Here we are today pleased when Mario looks up while playing and says “I love my grandma.  I want to see her.” 

Here we are today cautious and hesitant when Mario yells “Watch mom and dad, I can fly” and leaps off the couch onto the floor.  

Here we are today shaking our heads as he strips off his clothes and runs around the house free and naked screaming “I naked everyone!” 

Mario's "girl outfit" as Maria calls it - he is a trooper, too!

 Here we are today impressed and slightly taken aback with Mario’s “new look” after a makeup session with Maria and her girl cousins.  

Here we are today commending Mario for saying “thank you” after retrieving his ball for him and chuckling with him after he divulges that “Maggie told me I needed manners.”      

Here we are today watching him swing a golf club almost as well as Tiger Woods, and hitting the ball over the fence.  

Mario and Cy

Here we are today apologizing to him after we held the neighbor baby without his permission: “You don’t hold the baby!” 

Here we are today relishing the moment he throws his arms around our necks and says “I love you to the moon and stars and to poopyhead!” 

Here we are today singing him Happy Birthday as he stares into the three candles on his brownie.  

Thinking hard about a wish!

 Here we are today telling him to make a wish and tearing up when he whispers “I wish I could go fishing.” 

To our Mario:  You, my love, continue to make us not only laugh but laugh hysterically and with such great gusto.  You are a gem to us all.  Happy 3rd Birthday, my little man! 

Here's looking at you, kid!

From Rocks to Waltzes

Leave a comment

One aspect of my upbringing that I most cherish is the fact that my parents gave me such a breadth of experiences and viewpoints.  My dad took inner city kids out on hikes in the Ohio forests, my mom appreciated beautiful artwork and running; my step mom harbored a passion for writing and funky music.  I am committed to providing that same breadth of experience to my kids.  

Maria and Mario debating which rocks can be thrown in the river versus taken home

Our Sunday morning began with a trip to the river to throw rocks and a jaunt to the woods to play amongst the trees and our Monday night ended with a bike ride to the dance studio to watch professional dancers waltz across the newly polished hardwood floor. 

Sunday morning is our donut morning. I pack up the kids in their pj’s and we stroll down to Tim Horton’s.  You know you eat at a place too much when all of the staff members know your name and what you want to eat.  Maria inevitably gets her rainbow sprinkled vanilla donut and Mario chows down on five chocolate timbits.  This Sunday we got a special treat.  There was a half marathon course running right past the Tim Horton’s.  We got to watch men and women run by us as we stuffed our faces with dough and sugar.  Nice. 

I told the kids about how much I relied on cheering by-standers when I ran my races.  That struck a chord in Maria and she started yelling “girls beat the boys” as the runners raced by.  Unfortunately, all of the runners passing by were men.  Mario, of course, had to point this fact out to her with the quip “he was not a girl, Maria, he was a boy.”  However, within two minutes of Mario’s statement, we saw a woman pass by and Maria chimed in again “Girls beat the boys!”  Mario got her back by shoving her and Maria got him back by kicking him.  Lovely.  Luckily, their attentions got diverted by a stray cat walking outside in the parking lot.  

After the donut shop, we drug our tired selves out to the stroller (watching those runners whooped us up (or maybe it was the massive sugar infiltration!))  and headed down the street to a bike path that led to the river.  

Maria being the good sport and watching Mario's 25th toss in the river

The little bank we stopped at is perfect for the kids.  Maria can pick up rocks to take home to our garden and Mario can throw a zillion rocks in the river.  I had yet another moment at the river where I thanked the stars above for giving me Maria first.  She is so good with her brother.  Mario must have said twenty times “Maria, look at this throw.”  Now most people would ignore Mario after two or three throws but Maria stops what she is doing, watches him, and exclaims “Cool Mario!” And even when she has no desire to watch him after the twentieth time, she will still throw a glance at him right when she needs to so Mario thinks that she is watching.  What a trooper. 

Maria deep in her massage (notice eyes closed and all!)

After collecting a handful of rocks, we left to head home.  On the way back, the kids decided they wanted to visit the trolls in the forest.  There is a little woods about a mile from our house (close to a home we thought of purchasing a few months ago and didn’t – slight regret) that is perfect for the kids.  They can run around in it and not get lost.  We can make up stories of trolls and fairies.  We can play hide and seek.  We can balance across fallen logs.  We can look for worms.  Mario collected acorns for the trip home and Maria asked about the trolls and where they sleep at night. Mario is a little more hesitant!

After all of that rock throwing and hiking, we needed a good massage.  Luckily, there was a masseuse on the streets of Grandview giving a “mini massage” to try to get business that day so Maria convinced me to take a load off and hit the masseuse up for a shoulder massage.  After I finished, Maria stood up out of the stroller and quipped “I am next!”  Of course, Mario could not resist if his sis got one.  So, there we are, the family massage on Grandview Avenue. 

When we got home, Jon had a surprise for me.  He was taking the kids to his cousin’s house for a fishing escapade so I could work and relax.  Ahh, the most wonderful gift I could ever receive on a Sunday afternoon.When I told Maria I was going to take her picture, she jumped off her bike and got in this pose!

Smiling Mario on his bike

On Monday night, the kids jumped on their bikes to ride up the street.  Mario is intrepid but when it comes to crossing the street, he becomes hesitant and cautious.  He stops ten feet back from the street, looks both ways, and then looks at me and says “I’m worried about cars, mommy.”  There could be a car five blocks down the street, and he will wait for it to pass before riding.  Maria gets exasperated with him. 

Hot times on Grandview Avenue

We finally made it to the top of the street and decided to go in the dance studio.  They sat on the couch and became mesmerized with an instructor and his student.  The two of them were doing a waltz around the studio.  The kids were in awe.  They got up every few minutes to try out a move they witnessed and then sat back down and continued watching.  We probably could have stayed until midnight – they just loved it.  When we left, I was fumbling around looking for my money, and when I looked up, the pose to the left is what I saw.  Maria reminds me of a female James Dean with her suave leaning pose.  Oh, how they make me smile!

Let ’em fight!

2 Comments

 

My superhero

Ok, parents – go ahead and let your son tackle the neighbor kid.  Let him get out that toy uzi and act like he is shooting up the world.  If you don’t, he may have problems when he gets older.  Yeah, that is the latest news about boys… http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38882665/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

They need to exert that aggressive behavior in order to learn more appropriate behavior like controlling impulses and considering the perspectives of others.  Kinda like saying you need to shoot somebody in order to learn empathy. 

I am so glad that when Mario tackles me or stabs me with his plastic sword that I am promoting these appropriate behaviors in him.  Maybe in 25 years his live-in girlfriend will thank me when she reaps the benefits of my stiff necks and stab wounds? 

The article did not surprise me and I understand where numerous of the quoted authors are coming from and preaching.  However, I was taken aback by one of the quoted authors, Michael Thompson (a psychologist who wrote a book about raising boys) who asserted that “boys are innately wired for dominance and that is going to affect the kinds of stories they like and the kind of games they play.” 

Not sure I agree with that assertion.  Does that mean that if a boy is not aggressive and dominant that something is innately wrong with him?  And does it infer that girls are innately wired for submissiveness and house work?  Now, that being said, I have known a few boys who have grown up with parents who were adamant about no guns in the house, no aggressive play, no violence.  Yet, those boys found someway to create a gun or a sword or a club.  And all of those boys went through a phase where they were destructive and played aggressively with each other or their older female siblings (who certainly seemed to be innately wired for dominance when they pushed them down on the ground with one hand and laughed hysterically). 

Maria giving "the look" - boys, you better run!

When I was young, I loved to show aggression with my girlfriends – we still harbor the scars on our arms from our scratching fights and they still remember with fond disdain me dragging them across my attic floor.  I am now an attorney who loves a good fight so maybe “innate” dominance is not in boys or girls anymore than it is in genes you inherit from your parents and their parents and their parents.  Both sets of my grandparents could get scrappy.  And on the theme of “scrappy.”  Ms. Maria could take most adults down.  She is a scrapper and regularly “dominates” her little brother with her aggression.

It was Maria this weekend who wrapped toilet paper around her feet and taped the paper firmly so it would not fall off when she walked.  She had heard that girls in China wrap their feet in paper when they go off to fight (never found out where that fact came from).  It was Maria that dared me to a karate fight downstairs.  It was Maria that came after me with a karate chop to the arm and the stomach and the thigh.  All the while, Mario was in the corner with the play kitchen set making soup for me and Maria.

Bike rides, Kindergarten, and temper tantrums

Leave a comment

Jon and I shipped Maria and Mario up to Mama Ionno’s house on Friday last week in order for us to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary.  We celebrated with Mitchell’s steak and lobster and a trip to the bike store to gather some last-minute items for my bike race on Saturday morning.  We got home at 7:30 pm and I was in bed by 9.  Poor Jon – he is such a trooper with these escapades. 

I woke up at 5:45 and got ready for the 100 mile bike race called the Pelotonia (www.pelotonia.org/ride). 

Feeling good on the mountain bike!

The Pelotonia is an annual bike race wherein riders can ride 23 miles, 43 miles, 100 miles, or 180 miles in support of cancer research.  There are respective cash goals you have to meet based on the number of miles you ride.   The 100 mile route runs from Columbus to Athens.  I got to the starting location at 6:15 am and we were off and riding at 7:30 am.  I made the crazy choice to ride my mountain bike (with at least smaller tires than the big ol’ mountain bike tires but still nowhere near the small width of road tires)  but I really didn’t hurt throughout the ride except in one ten-mile stretch from miles 82 to 92.  I had not stopped at the 75 mile rest stop because I was feeling good and I thought there was a rest stop at mile 87.  Unfortunately, there was no rest stop there 87 – it was moved to 92.  Now, you’d think that 5 miles on a bike is nothing to overcome but when you are going up and down rolling hills, have not eaten any breakfast, and have the sun beaming on you, it feels like 1000 miles.  I felt like I have felt when running a race – like time was at a complete standstill.  I finally reached the rest stop at 92 and it was like walking through the gates of heaven.  I chowed on a granola bars, fruit and pretzels.  My body rebounded and pushed me through the last 15 miles with no aches and pains.  I rode through the finish line to see Jon standing toward the side sopping wet (there was a massive downpour for my last 12 miles).  It felt great to have my supporter so close.   

When we got home, Jon pampered me (as all good hubbies should do).  We laid around and fell asleep early.  We were so excited about getting to sleep in since M&M were still with Mama Ionno.  Yet, to my demise, I twisted and turned all night.  It was as if someone kept shooting electrical waves through my body.  I was restless.  Finally, at 7:30 am, I got out of bed and decided to go for a run.  Yeah, a run.  I felt like Atalanta.  I was one with the wind – unstoppable.  It was unreal.  I could have run for 100 miles that morning.  My legs felt strong.  My lungs felt awesome.  Indescribable.

When I got home, I could have cleaned the entire house in 20 minutes.  My body was just charged up ready for the next feat.  Jon’s sole reaction consisted of these words: “You are a freak.”  This “high” lasted until Tuesday when I completely crashed and could not keep my eyes open past 9 pm.  And Wednesday and Thursday and Friday.  It was wonderful while it lasted.

Thumbs Up for K!

Fortunately, I was still on the high on Tuesday morning when Maria had her first day of Kindergarten.  We woke up at 7 am and as soon as she woke up, she popped up out of bed and exclaimed “We go to get ready, mom – NOW!” She got dressed in record time and even brushed her hair after I asked her the very first time.  I planned a big breakfast for her – waffles, cereal, eggs but her excitement would not allow her to sit down so she opted for a cereal bar instead.  We sat on the porch for what was “forever” to Ri (ten minutes) waiting for Aunt Sarah to arrive and we all walked down to K together.  

What mixed emotions that day.  Walking into her classroom and seeing all the kids at the tables, eyes glued down at their desk or up at the new teacher.  Worried, excited, scared.  Some talking with others; some keeping to themselves.  I found myself continuously asking kids that passed us what their names were and pushing Maria towards them stating “Maria, this is Joey. Maria, her name is Hailey.”  I think back to it now and I see how obnoxious that is!  Just let her move into it at her pace.  But there is that pesky mama gene that just wants it all to at least “look” easy and simple and warm and friendly.  Maria twirling around the wildflowers, laughing and loving life.  Yeah, that ain’t what school was always like for me so it will not be for her either.  She will come home sobbing one day and sad that some girl would not talk to her or some boy said something incredibly rude to her.  I did the same to my mom and stepmom and dad when I was in school.  Somehow they pulled me through and I will do the same with Ri.  But, man, it is hard to think about.  She has been sheltered for five years from all of this crazy stuff. 

He just seeps mischievousness!

Mario, on the other hand, will likely have to be peeled off the walls once he hits Kindergarten.  He is so hyper.  He climbs anything.  He runs everywhere.  He screeches.  His teacher is going to say his name way too many times during the day.  IN seriousness, he is a hyper son-of-a-gun but he also can sit still when he wants to (or is required to) and can listen.  It is just if he has the choice he would rather jump, climb, and run all around.  He turns three in a week and he has been exhibiting those lovely age three temper tantrums for the last few months.  They make you want to pack up a small bag and just go far away for a long time.  He kicks and screams and yells at the top of his lungs.  And will not stop.  I left the other morning for a run and when he awoke and I was not there, Jon said he sat on the steps screaming hysterically for 20 minutes.  Maria used to get mad by going to her room and not talking to us.  Mario will never go that route.  He knows that screaming is much more irritating and hard to ignore.  I hope when he turns three next Saturday that there will be a miraculous shift in that behavior and when he does not get his way he will look up at me and whisper “Mom, that upsets me, may we talk about it?”  Someday.

Graduation

Leave a comment

My oldest child graduated. 

Maria celebrating her "diploma"

No, not from high school or college.  From pre-school.  Yes, you heard it right.  Pre-school. Other mothers are shaking their heads thinking about the time that Georgie or Mandy graduated from pre-school and how silly they felt making such a big deal over it but how they could not stop themselves either.  Women who are not mothers are shaking their heads and laughing hysterically at the insanity of hosting a graduation for a pre-schooler. 

I remember reading a passage out of Laurie Moore’s novel where the lead woman character was discussing her

Maria and one of her teachers

 wedding day.  She surmised that it is not the actual marriage that is so important – it is the memories and milestones you take from the event that mark your life and allow you to remember important times.  That is how I feel about Ri’s graduation.  It is not so much the graduation certificate but the memories of the event itself with Grandma and Grandpas there; Mario running around wanting to snatch a cookie; Maria excited and anxious to get her certificate and hug her teachers.   

Maria was radiant wearing her shimmery green dress and egyptian silver sandals.  She smiled and waved to us as she stood waiting for her graduation certificate.  All I could think about was “Is she really going to get taller, grow hair under her arms, get breasts, and eventually become an adult like me?  It seems impossible. Kindergarten is going to be a whirlwind for her at first – she tends to have a lot of her dad in her and one area that she really has him in her is when it comes to meeting new people.  She likes her small “posse” of friends and becomes very shy when others enter the mix.  If not shy, she becomes stand-offish and even rude.  So, kindergarten should be interesting.  She does have one friend from pre-school in her class so that will help.

Go Maria!

I gotta face the fact that she is starting school and with school comes cliques and heartbreaks and hurt feelings.  As my friend says to me when her daughter tells her that someone hurt her feelings at school “I just want to go up to that kid and tell her that if she hurts my little girl’s feelings, I am going to have to hurt her!”   But with school comes friendships and sisterhood and learning and interests, also.  Here’s to kindergarten and Maria finding a lot more in the latter category than in the former.  Go Maria!    

Swimmin’ in Cincinnati

Leave a comment

The family takes a trip to Cincy while dad is out of town

I decided late in the day on Thursday that I was going to head to Cincy with the kids to spend the night with my mom and visit my grandma.  We were supposed to pick her up on Friday afternoon for a Friday evening bridal shower for my little sis but her world turned inside out with immigration lines, visas, broken down cars.  There was no way she was making it back to Cincy by Friday night from El Paso Texas.  So, I felt like I should get down there anyway to see grandma as she is 90 years old and thoroughly enjoys seeing me and her great-grandchildren (she is a sucker for punishment!).  Besides, Jon got to head to Baltimore for a Baltimore Ravens football game (down on the field before the game and box seats during it – the bum!) so I needed family to sop up my jealous tears!

When we arrived on Thursday night, we headed straight for mom’s pool.  Mom brought some cheese its and apple juice boxes in order to avoid the wrath of Mario (last time Grandma Lolo came to visit Mario asked “did you bring cheese its and juice boxes?” Mom answered no, and he looked very distraught “But, but why?”).  Maria loves the “neighborhood” pool so much more than the big Blue Ash community pool.  She likes to keep it tight and close rather than deal with everyone and their mother.  She swam and jumped around.  Mario sat on the first step of the pool and dipped his head in every five minutes or so.  He played with his noodle (blowing in one end and seeing the water squirt out the other end).  He ate his cheese-its.  

Maria and her noodle

We played hard at the pool for an hour or so and then ravaged some spaghetti, bread and m&ms when we got home.  We decided to head to Aunt Julie’s for some dessert and much to our surprise, for a kitten/possum adventure.  Julie and Ron put out food for stray kittens and a stray baby possum every night.  The critters arrived once dark hit like clockwork – first the kittens and then the possum.  The kids sat at the door watching them for 20 minutes.  When we left to go back to my mom’s house, Mario’s eyes were like hawk eyes watching out for that baby possum.  

We all ended up sleeping in my mom’s full size bed.  I tried to move one of the two of them to the floor but neither of them would have it.  Needless to say, I had cramps and twitches throughout my entire body when I woke on Friday morning from trying to twist my body into a needle to avoid hitting one of them.  In order to stretch my body out, we took a morning stroller ride to Marx Hot Bagels.  I used to go to this bagel store when I was a kid with my mom and dad.  The poignant smell of bagels never leaves you.  I walked in with M&M and immediately felt like I had been blasted back to age 10.  We ordered a sunflower, pumpernickel/onion and a wheat raisin bagel with a mountain of cream cheese and went to town.  Yum!  I could eat one of those every morning.  

We hit Grandma Lolo’s park on the way home and M&M got up on the amphitheatre stage to perform for me.  Mario sang “I like to Move it, Move it” and took a bow.  Maria sang one of her love songs, which went something like this “I wish we could be together but you are not for me.”  I kid you not! Her songs are all about lost love and boys not being good enough for her.  At age 5!  Ahhh! 

As soon as we got home, we headed back out to visit Grandma M.  Ahh, it is always so stress-free and calm 

Mario writing with Grandma M.

 when we head to her assisted living facility.  Ha.  The chaos ensues from the beginning with Maria and Mario having to show off for the residents, sign their name on the visitor sheet, punch the elevator buttons.  That is all in the 1o minutes before we hit grandma’s apartment.  Once we are in the apartment, it is a more enclosed space and ten times more chaotic because the kids can’t touch half of the things she has in the apartment even though they are within kids’ reach and they are so tempting to touch (kittens, dolls, statues, glass – I mean come on!!!).  

How is it that I always played with the same toys over and over again every time I visited grandma, and seemed to enjoy my time but these kids cannot play with a game for five minutes without wanting something different?  Could it be the parents are to blame?  Probably, just a little…  hehehe.  What can I say?  My biggest goal in parenting when Maria was born was to give her the freedom to do what she wanted and learn from her actions.  I did not want to stifle her.  But I see now that there is a limit; they are going to be seeing that limit a lot more from me!    

 

Maria in her grandma "get-up"!

However, they have gotten better at grandma’s through the multitude of times we have gone over to see her.  They played in her bedroom writing with her pencils and punching her calculator.  Maria put on her sweater and a bag on her head and acted like her.  Grandma stays very calm through it all – she only gets worried when they get near her pills.  I think that may be a valid concern.  

She took us down to her pool, which is perfect for the kids.  It is 3 feet high in most places.  Mario plays on the steps and Maria floats around the pool.  Maria got brave and even dove off the edge by herself.  She reminded me of Anna Quindlen’s little girl, Maria, who is my Maria’s namesake.  Quindlen wrote a Newsweek article about her daughter at age 16 – so intrepid and filled with adventure.  That was my girl yesterday – embracing something new and a little scary.  After an hour swim, we headed back to the room for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, vanilla wafers, butter cookies, and hershey kisses.  Who could ask for a better feast?!  

Mario loving the pool

We took grandma to Kroger’s to get her weekly stash of food (it is a 45 minute ordeal for about six food items but at age 90, I am still impressed), and then we headed to Blue Ash pool for some more swimming.  Mario LOVES Blue Ash pool with all of the fountains and slide and cushion bottom.  Maria, as I stated earlier, would rather stay in the confines of her own neighborhood but she agreed to come if there was pizza and popcorn at the pool.  After an hour and a half, I thought I may pass out from exhaustion so we packed up and traveled back to Grandma Lolo’s to pack up.  A bath, treadmill walk, popsicle, and golf game later, we were in the car waving goodbye to grandma and grandpa and accelerating the Volvo north to Columbus.  

We ended the trip with songs from Free to Be You and Me.  Maria has fallen in love with the CD much to my pleasure.  She loves the song about friends and the talking babies.  When the song “Parents are People” comes on, she yells “Mom, this is for you!”  

I was so exhausted when we walked in the door at 6:30 Friday night.  I could barely drag myself upstairs to lay down.   Luckily, Mario stayed asleep during the transfer from the car to the crib.  A little blessing from above.  Of course, he was up at 1 am standing next to my bed crying “Mommy, I sleep with you.”  The rest of the night I might as well have been doing laundry, cleaning the house, finishing up work, because he kept me wide awake between complaining that his leg hurt or he needed water or he wanted to watch tv.  At about 2:45 am, I thought I might jump out the window just to be able to sleep in the bushes below – broken legs/arms and all – it would be better than sleep deprivation.  But, we survived as always and were up and playing airplane on the bed at 7 am.  

Ahh, did I really ever sleep in until 8 am? 

Eating Well

Leave a comment

Cooking is like love.  It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.  ~Harriet van Horne

One of hte amazing dishes from Doris and Kim

We got out of the car tonight and they immediately pleaded “can we go to Doris and Kim’s house to say “hi?”  Before I could answer Maria’s plea, she was standing in their yard moving towards the porch.  Mario followed swiftly yelling his monkey scream “ew ew ah ah.”  Doris had a few girlfriends over and she had out brie and crackers.  The kids dove into the crackers and I scooped up the brie.  Heaven.  Doris is an amazing cook.  Everything I taste of hers is remarkable.  (Now, granted, this is coming from the woman who does not cook anything.  But although I do not cook, I still know good food! )

Her dishes  take you to another world.  I am in Sicily or Florence or New Orleans or Paris.  She needs to start her own business – she is made to live in the kitchen.  She enters the cooking process with abandon.  Her art is just too wonderful to be wasted anywhere else.  Their kitchen was just renovated a couple of years ago, and it was a wise investment.   

Posing near the sunflowers on our way to Jeni's

When we stopped at Doris and Kim’s tonight after an hour walk to Jeni’s and up Grandview Ave. (looking at the power lines that Papa Rod climbs, the different shapes of clouds, and the mailboxes that store our letters to distant family), they had a basket of delicious rolls for the kids.  I scored a chicken marsala dish with mushrooms and noodles.  It was sweet and tangy.  The chicken marsala from many weddings’ past paled in comparison to Ms. Doris’s.  The other night she hooked my up with grilled veggies (zucchini and yellow squash and onion), shaved cheese, and chicken.  The veggies were out of this world and the chicken juicy, juicy, juicy. 

Oh, yes, we must have done something right to land these two for neighbors.

The Relief of a Good Drop-Off and Night with Family

1 Comment

 

Sitting on our bed post ready for school

I took Mario into daycare today with Maria.  We had a pretty good morning with a healthy dose of tv, waffles, play, self dress, and more tv.  I got home from my run and the kids were already dressed so they got to watch another show while I showered.  Mario also scored a cereal bar on the way out the door since I did not know how much he ate for breakfast.  On the way to the car, we stopped and looked at Cy’s poop , which is always a source of amazement and disgust (“Mom, do you smell it?!”).  Maria was once fascinated about it but she has since “grown” out of that stage and now just rolls her eyes each time Mario points it out as if she is 13 years old dealing with her babyish 2-year-old brother.  Mario also got to open the car door himself and get in his car seat himself.  Some mornings he could care less if I help him and other mornings when I go to swoop him up into the seat, he screams and cries as if a horrific, disgusting sea monster had just grabbed him with its tentacles and taken him out to sea.  He flails his body and growls and cries “Nooooo!”  And he can never recover.  He gets so angry that he cannot let go of the emotion for a long while.  Much longer than the time it takes to daycare.  So, this was a good morning because he climbed in the seat himself.  We sang “Free to Be You and Me” all the way to school, which really put me in a pleasant mood since it brings back times of my childhood. 

We pulled into school and took our time getting out of the car (another necessity because any type of hurried behavior can set Mario over the edge, too).  I kept telling Mario about all the fun things they were going to do at school today like water play and telling time.  Maria even helped me out.  She can totally read when I need her to help me.  As we walked down the preschool hall, I chirped “everyone wants to be in Mr. Parks’ room!”  Maria looked at me and without hesitation exclaimed “I wish I could be in your classroom, Mario – that would be cool!” even though I know that she really would not want to be in that classroom.  That is my girl. 

We got some animals from Maria’s room that Mario loves to play with and took them to his room.  Finally, we waltzed down to Amanda’s room to say to his old teacher and then waltzed back to preschool.  After all of that, Mario stood in his classroom as I said goodbye and did not ball and wail and cry hysterically.  Yippee!  It only took an extra hour of time and nonstop codling.  We are set now! 

Seriously, though, I do think I would stand on my head on a bed of nails in order to see Mario happy in his preschool room.  It just makes my day so much easier.  I can get more done, my mood is up, my mind is uncluttered.   Jon has drop off duty tomorrow so hopefully it will go just as well.

The kiddies from our weekend get together where they learned how much fun the hose is to play with in this heat

We had a great night tonight with visiting brothers and sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews and cousins.  Maria’s two older cousins, Emi and Elly, are fantastic to have around because they are so good with Maria and Mario.  M&M adore them, too.  We also had Maria’s newest cousin over to the house, Dagmawit.  Jon’s brother, Kevin and his wife Margie adopted her from Ethiopia recently and it was her first time to visit us.  She is a gem of a kid.  She and Maria are very similar in personality – opinionated, direct, and strong-willed.  Maybe it has to do with their moms’ personalities! 

Mario in his dress, headband, make-up and shoes - What a trooper!

The girls dressed Mario up in girl clothes and smothered him in make-up.  Mario is the good sport through it all even modeling for us as he came outside.  Maria and Dagmawit got dolled up by Emi and Elly.  After dinner, they all threw on bathing suits and played in the baby pool with the hose.  The adults actually got to talk together for an hour without being interrupted every 15 seconds.  Very strange….

I love nights like tonight – surrounded by family, good food and drink, great conversation, laughter.  The night even ended well with Maria and Mario on my lap in the rocking chair making up stories about baby bunnies and giraffes who fall in love.  Life is good.

Awful Daycare Days

Leave a comment

Mario in his "old" toddler room

I took Mario to school this morning and this is what I got to hear:

“No, mommy, please don’t leave me here.”

“Mommy, let’s go home.”

“Mommy, please stay with me.”

Needless to say, when I walked out to my car, I was soaked from the tears streaming down my face.  Yes, that coming from a woman who prides herself on being strong and independent and fierce and tough.  One cry from my baby boy and I am shot.

Why can’t transitions from one classroom to another be less difficult?  Why can’t I have the kid that is always happy and content no matter where he is in the world?  I have a niece who seems to be like that.  She is always so excited to go to school. She loves her friends and her teachers.  She sits around on Sunday and talks about how excited she is for Monday morning.  Is there an “I love school” gene that I can extract from her to place into Maria and Mario? 

People tell me that the kids have too much fun at home and that is why they don’t like school.  Maybe they have a point since I am always doing things with them when I am home (they benefit from the guilty mom working outside of the home mom syndrome).  Maybe a little of their angst and crying is actually manipulation since they both know it breaks my heart to see them cry and I will usually give in on anything once they start it up.  No, it si more likely that they need to be with their mom more than they are and I am turning them into little monsters with ADHD and depression.  

Maria and her preschool friend

I have gone through this before with Maria.  She hated preschool when she first started and now she loves her girlfriends. She would probably still pick to be with me over going to school but once she is there, she has a good time.  Mario will get to that point to – I think…  He is an outgoing, fun-loving little guy and should be making lots of friends with his antics and collegiality.  But in the meantime, it breaks my heart to see him so sad when I leave. 

I did research on this issue (of course!) and almost every site mentioned that allowing your child to take a favorite toy or comfort item with them to school may assist with the transition.  They also mentioned having a “buddy” in the room from their old room may help.  I have been sending Mario in with his “blue blankie” and his “bink” everyday but I guess I do put them away immediately because I don’t want him walking around like Linus from Snoopy.  Maybe I could give him a picture of his mama and papa to put in his pocket and look at when he gets lonely.  It seems a little weird and egotistical though. Wait, I got it!! — I could just load his candy-loving self down with bags and bags of M&Ms everyday so he could concentrate on chowing those down until I returned.  He may get a tummy ache or a headache but then he could just sleep til I got there.  Yeah, I think I am onto something.   No, I think I am merely losing my mind with grief over my boy.  

In the end, he will survive.  He will grow up and be sitting at the kitchen table, age 16, and I will mention how I used to fret and worry about taking him to preschool each day and how he would cry for me and beg me to stay and wail until I gave him one more hug and kiss.  I will lean over to kiss his cheek and tell him I love him and he will push me away and snicker “Mom, those days are so, so gone.”   Yeah, that is when I will actually miss them.

Mario - already the teenager - sitting at the pool by himself eating Doritos