Tag: joy

Shopping and eating…

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Maria begged me to take her and her girlfriend to the mall on Friday night. Mario stayed with Patty this weekend – loving his time with his grandma before she moves from Marion. 

It was a cold night on Friday so I knew that we would not be able to play outside. This was pretty much the only reason I agreed to the mall – that, and it allowed for me to at least walk around and get some exercise while they looked at clothes. It also brings back fond memories of my girlfriend Beth and I going to Kenwood Mall on the weekends. We would spend hours up there just walking around, eating lunch, looking to see if any other friends or boys were around. We inevitably would find other friends hanging out because that is what we did in the 1980s. Nowadays, kids actually go there just to shop. How strange is that?

 I couldn’t believe how long Maria and her friend could remain in one store. I waited out on the couches for them, catching up on emails, but after 25 minutes I thought maybe they had been held hostage in there. I went to check on them and, sure enough, they were trying on there seventh shirt in the dressing room – just as happy as can be. 


Ri walked out with this snazzy top and I told her there was no way her father would allow her to wear that outside the house. She loved it though, and of course, I caved in and got it for her – but required her to agree that she would only wear it this summer, not beforeehand. I’m a real stickler aren’t I?!

They finally decided to move to a different store. They chose Bare Minerals. I watched a video of how to put on make up, and realized how little I know about proper application of that stuff. I was tempted to buy everything that was on the video because the older lady starring in it transformed from wrinkles and blemishes to a supermodel. But the  practical part of me, along with many generations of women who have never been consumed by that stuff, overpowered any remaining desire I had. I grabbed the girls and told them we needed to move on to another store. But this was not before they both applied some funky pink lipstick.

We moved on to Lush. I actually liked the store – all organic bath products. The bath bombs smelled delicious. I caved in and bought each girl one of them. These are the times that I wish we had a huge bathtub – I could get into using one of those bath bombs every night to relax me.

We hit a few more clothing stores, including the newly designed Abercrombie and Fitch store, which the girls geeked over. Finally, 2 1/2 hours later, they were starving and ready to go. Everyone was craving Mexican food so we decided to head to El Vaquero. Not a smart move when you are starving and they feed you nonstop chips and salsa. 


We were ill or by the time our food came but how can you reject fish tacos and enchiladas? And to top it off and make us truly stuffed, we had to get the fried ice cream for dessert!  I was positive we would all have stomachaches at 2 am.


Surprisingly, we all slept like logs. In fact, we woke up the next morning and decided to top off our Mexican grub from the previous evening with some timbits from Tim Hortons. If you are gonna splurge, splurge big!

Mario’s b-ball tourney

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Mario can be intense. I think he got both my competitive nature and Jon’s desire to win, which creates a firestorm of emotion when he does not do as well he likes. 

He had tournaments all weekend for basketball. When we worked at the tournament, he was outside shooting hoops. At times, he was swishing them. At other times, he couldn’t shoot a basket to save his life. Unfortunately, the latter occurred right before we were leaving for his next tournament game. We got in the car upset as could be – slamming the car door as he plopped in his seat. Jon and I were frustrated at his attitude, and then proceeded to get irritated with one another about something stupid. We all sat in the car on the way to the tournament in cold stone silence. About 15 minutes into the trip, Mario whispered “A my name is Alan, my wife’s name is Addie…” 

Whenever it’s quiet in the car or I want the kids to stop looking at their tablets, I tell them we are going to play the alphabet game. They usually roll their eyes but go along with me. I wanted to keep the frown on my face when Mario spoke up with “A my name is” but I couldn’t. I immediately smiled, and was touched that he would break free from his anger and engage with us. It was quite impressive that the nine-year old could speak up but the 45 year-olds could not….

We arrived at the tournament in good spirits. He had a possibility of three games – all one and out. We thought it was a long shot that his team would advance since they didn’t have the best record but low and behold, they won the first game! Ri recorded it for the coach while rooting on her brother. Mario had to attend her tournament games so Maria was forced to attend his.

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The boys got icees after their game. They waited around for another hour before their next game, wrestling around and being insane nine-year-old boys. We all questioned again whether we’d get through the second game or not. But these boys believed in themselves, and sure enough they won. Mario played another great game getting a couple of shots and playing magnificent defense. I think my talk earlier in the morning helped. I talked with him about trying to get his head out of the game. This seems like an oxymoron but I’ve been reading a book called “The inner game of tennis.” Jackson recommended it to me and said that it helped him a lot with his music. I immediately thought of Mario when I began to read it. He gets very upset with himself when he makes a poor shot or let’s an opponent get a shot on him and then he continues to do poorly because he is so upset. The book tries to help you understand that you need to simply play the game – get your head out of the judgment of whether you are playing good or bad – and just play. It also talks about letting go of the words “good” and “bad” and just letting the experience be what it is while moving onto the next one.  

We had a two hour wait between the second game and the championship game. Of course, they played on a day that it was 60° outside and sunny. I get a mom-of-the-year award for sticking around in that dark, dank gymnasium to watch my son play instead of being outside….

And they almost pulled out the championship game. They lost by four measly points. But they were really good sports about it, even cheering for the other team when they won their awards. It helped that they also got recognized for being a runner-up in the championship game; they all got medals. I was so proud of Mario for trying so hard in each game. 


And after sitting in a gymnasium all day long, we got to sit around a restaurant for the next two hours trying to calm down nine insane boys as they got balloon animals and grilled cheeses. Ahhh, what we endure as parents.


Busy but bountiful

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This is how we rolled on Sunday morning.


Boys stuck together and girls stuck together. Ri wanted to roller skate and I wanted to walk to Stauf’s. Jon wanted his coffee and Mario wanted to hang with his dad (and score a cinnamon roll).  We ended up meeting each other on the Avenue. The boys were grooving to music as Ri and I talked about her school project – making bath balls. They ended up following us to Stauf’s because who can pass up Stauf’s?!

After Stauf’s, we hung together through one of Mario’s basketball games and then took Ri home so she could get to her soccer scrimmage. Jon and I watched Mario’s second game and then I drove back to watch the end of RI’s scrimmage. I made sure she got started on homework and then headed backwards up north to Mario’s championship game. He almost won it (and played so hard). 

We headed back home for some evening b-ball outside. Jon and I commented how we couldn’t wait for Spring while the kids played one-on-one and poked at each other. 


These days are busy yet bountiful. I want to ensure that they are not forgotten because I’m confident they will bring us comfort and joy when the kids have moved out, and Jon and I are playing our fifth round of Yahtzee on the back porch. 

B-ball woes 

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This weekend blew the big one. Maria had a basketball tournament all weekend long; Mario had one on Sunday. I wish we would’ve had both kids tourneys this weekend  so we could’ve been done with basketball for the season.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Maria isn’t a superstar at basketball. She just started playing last year, and was on the fence about whether to play this year. She’s always looked at it as more of a sport to play in the winter in order to be around friends than a sport to play because she absolutely loved the game. We’ve talked about that on numerous occasions – if she wants to get really good at basketball she’s going to need to practice like a mad woman. However, she really has no desire to practice like a mad woman so it is what it is, right? She goes to each practice, tries her hardest, gets to hang with her friends, and goes to the games. Take it for what it is.

Throughout the season, she has not played as much as her girlfriends. She’s been fairly ambivalent about it because … “it is what it is” to continue the theme above. But in the last couple of weeks, it’s gotten more under her skin. I’m sure it’s because another girlfriend started complaining about not playing as much as some other girls. I talked with her about letting it go since it was near the end of the season; besides, she didn’t think she’d play again anyway.

Maria looked completely dejected at her last tournament game; they were down 28 to 6 and she was still on the bench. It broke my heart as a mom. She’d always been happy go lucky during these games, rooting on her teammates and sitting on the sideline smiling. But this last game, she didn’t break a smile once. After the game, she came over to me and mouthed tersely  “let’s go, now.” I asked her what was wrong. Dumb question from me but I didn’t know what else to say. Ri looked away and explained as we walked out of the gym: “I’m not part of this team. I can’t play well. They told the girls not to throw it to me. I just want to leave.” 

The mama bear in me wanted to go up to everyone of her teammates and the coaches and demand an explanation. The rational woman in me knew there was more to this and that confronting anyone right after the game would not be a good idea. Maria made it an easy choice for me because she just stormed out of the building to the car. We both sat in silence as we pulled out of the parking lot. Maria asked for my phone. I threw it back to her in anger – not anger at her so much as  anger at the situation. I hate leaving a game like that – not wrapping up and saying goodbye to the adults and the kids. I should have made her walk back into the building and say goodbye to everyone – mad or not.

Maria asked what was the matter with me. I chirped “what do you think is the matter? I’m upset at the way that ended.”

Ri sat silent for a minute but then began to talk. “I was just upset, mom, because I feel like I let my teammates down. I feel like the coaches think I’m the worst player ever because they tell my teammates not to throw to me. I’m just upset about the season and not being good.”

Why doesn’t someone just rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it? It would probably feel better than how I felt driving down the highway hearing this from Maria. I hate these parental moments with such a passion.

I can’t remember how I responded to Maria except that it brought out a whole conversation about basketball, coaches, sports, life. Yeah, we got real philosophical because that’s how mama works in those situations. I asked her how much she loved bball. She responded “not much.” I asked her how  many times she went outside to shoot layups and free throws. She responded “not much.” I asked her how much she enjoyed being with her friends during practice. She responded “a lot.” I tried to help her put it all in perspective. This was not a sport she loved through and through. She didn’t put much effort into it outside of practice and games. And that was perfectly fine. But that also meant that she might not get as much playing time as other girls on the court. The harder piece to tackle was her opinion of self based on the comments made to her by her friends and her coaches. Like I said earlier, I was torn between calling up the coach and giving her a piece of my mind and just letting it be. Coaches are going to have different personalities. There are going to be some that are super supportive and some that are not. But we are  dealing with sixth-grade girls. They need positive reinforcement; they need encouragement and support. I understand when they make a bad play, coaching. But coaching them in a supportive manner. I just don’t fathom how a coach can call some girls “good players” thereby implying there are “bad players.” 

I reinforced to Maria she cannot take what others say – be it a friend, another adult, or even a teacher – to heart and let it determine who she is as a person. She needs to believe in herself and trust  in herself. I can’t be there all the time when a coach or a teacher or a friend says something hurtful to her so I need to arm her with the ability to deal with those situations herself.

It’s hard as hell to be a parent, especially when you’re dealing with a pre-pubescent girl. You remember how it was to be that age, you have major flashbacks to the hell that it was at times. And you want to just avoid it all for your daughter. But you can’t. You got to help her as best as you can to move through it and find her strength. I so hope that’s what happens for her. 

As her mother, I will reinforce how wonderful she is, how I love her dreams, how she cares, how she wants the best in life, how she loves new experiences, how she has to believe in herself, and how she should treat others the way she wants to be treated.

In the end, I just want Ri to be able to get through these situations with a healthy attitude and confidence. I know she’s not always going to be happy and filled with joy – that’s just not life – but I want her to be stable and confident enough that when times aren’t particularly happy, she can weather through them and come out upright and stable, just like she has learned on those 80’s roller skates…..

Ri’s caramel hot chocolate dream drink

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The boys went to the high school basketball game last night, while Ri and I worked furiously on her math and social studies homework. My gosh, I thought sixth grade math would be fairly simple- fractions, decimals, division. But I was wrong. I could not figure out the solution to three questions to save my life. I started to go a bit nuts. Maria, seeing me a bit irritated, decided to make me a treat. Here is a video of her explaining the concoction she created:

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Yea, it tasted as good as it looks. It had all the foods I love – chocolate, caramel, whipped cream, ice cream, and nuts. I had to throw on a pair of elastic sweats after eating it but it was oh, so worth it. And I wouldn’t blink paying $10 for it (she changed it to $8 after I turned the video off). 

And the sugar high helped. I figured out the solutions to two out of the three questions and gave a daggone good guess on the third one. 

Lattes and swings

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Sundays can be rough for me. I know I have to get up early the next morning, start a new work week, make sure the kids get homework done, take them to practices, make lunches … but they become much more tolerable when I can start them with a Stauf’s coffee and scone with my babies. 

Of course, we all enjoy different modes of transportation to Staufs: Maria roller skates, I walk, and Mario bikes. Ri talked about a trip to California and how excited she’d be to visit the Kardashidans’ house. Mario wants to hit Hollywood with the hopes of being spotted as the next heartthrob movie star. Always interesting conversations heading to Staufs. 


At Stauf’s, Mario decided that he wanted to try a latte. The boy wants to be 25 years old so badly. I decided to allow him to try it with the thought that he would inevitably hate it and then I could drink it. It was a piece of art when it was delivered to us. Maria had to Instagram it.


Maria got her everything bagel and onion cream cheese, Mario got his black Russian bagel with cream cheese, and I got my yummy chocolate chip scone. We decided to play the political question game that Stauf’s houses in a game cabinet. The first question was “what foods best embody America?” Without hesitation, Maria shouted “hamburgers and fries!” Mario went with hot dogs and apple pie. The next question was “describe a holiday you’d create.” Maria said that she’d create a “giving” holiday in June that would be exactly six months after Christmas. It would be a holiday where everybody would give to the poor and the needy and not take any gifts themselves. Sweet. Mario pondered the question for a bit and then decided that he would go with the “after Super Bowl holiday.” He was looking out for his immediate interest.

After Stauf’s, we hit the old church park we used to go to all the time. We even managed to still be able to all go down the enclosed slide together.


But the most fun was the swings. Mario started a jumping contest. He had me give him an underdog push and when he got as high as he could, he’d jump off – sometimes on his feet and sometimes on his side and sometimes in a roll. Ri was nervous but then did her typical Ri move – she swung her arms and stood tall and pronounced “if Mario can do it then I can do it!” And she did (although she did land on her side the first time but quickly shook off the pain).


We spent nearly an hour trying to choreograph a simultaneous jump. This is as good as we got.

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Not bad, heh?!

The sun was shining as we walked home, and I couldn’t have been happier. Now, to just keep this feeling later in the evening when Sunday evening blues creep in….

Odd years

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“2016 bit the big one so 2017 has to be better.”

I recited this mantra incessantly towards the end of 2016 and the beginning days of 2017. It gave me some hope with the impending new year that all it would take was a flip of the calendar page and *TA-DA,* everything is better. I even subjected Ri to the mantra when she cried to me about her uneventful New Year’s Eve (while viewing all of her friends partying on Snapchat). New Year’s Eve occurred in 2016 so it’s gonna be wrapped up in the horrible mess of a year. 

But here we are, two weeks into the new year, and I haven’t found any revived spirit or amazing promise. Did I flip the calendar page too quickly or with not enough force to clearly show 2016 we wanted it out?

Last week, the kids agreed, without any fighting, to walk to Stauf’s with me for lunch. I asked, and they agreed. No pleading, begging, bribing. It wasan exquisite moment. We braced the 2o degree weather and walked up to the coffee shop with playing cards in tow. We even lucked out and got our favorite bar table and stools. Ri talked about becoming a pediatrician while Mario talked about packing it up and heading to Hollywood or Miami. The conversation was delightful. 

So there, 2016, take that! 


I am an impatient person; I want to see immediate change, feel immediately more hopeful, witness immediate kindness in the world. 2017 has been my wake-up call. It ain’t gonna happen. 

Slow and steady may need to be my new mantra. The world ain’t gonna be fixed (or destroyed, hopefully) overnight. I just gotta keep plugging away at being there for my crew – the kids, family, friends – and taking on causes and acts of kindness as time allows.  

My girlfriend told me the other day that odd years end up being better for her than even years. Interesting – I never looked at years in that fashion. But as I thought about it, I was born in an odd year as was Jon, Ri and Mario. We moved into our new home in an odd year. We got Rocco in an odd year. So there you go. 2017 is gonna be better than 2016 if only because it’s an odd year… I will take that immediate assumption and run with it.

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I engaged in the annual hmmming and hawing over what to get the kids this year. I torture myself by overthinking what they may want, what they do want, what they should get in order not to spoil them, what they should get to spoil them….

I long for the days they were babies and toddlers. It was so simple! I could get ten $1 toys, wrap them, and we’d be set Christmas morning. This year was especially strange because they really didn’t “want” for anything.  Realistically, they should never “want” for anything since they have all of life’s necessities at their disposal and much more; but alas, they are kids bombarded by advertisements friends with cool gadgets.  Maria had been begging for an iPhone 7 for her birthday but she cooled her heels about one for Christmas.  I think I assisted her in this change of heart by talking about how I believed experiences were more special than “things.”  I asked her what she remembered more – her new iphone she received two holidays ago or her trip to Oaxaca.  Oaxaca without a doubt.  

Mario was even perplexed about what he wanted – at first it was an Apple computer, then any type of computer, then a pug puppy, then any type of puppy.  At one point, Maria talked with him about the experiences bit and almost had him convinced to just wish for them and not ask for any “things.” But Mario couldn’t quite get there at age 9; he still wanted to open gifts on Christmas.

And there lies the dilemma  – as a parent, do you put your foot down and re-purpose Christmas to the holiday it should be: a holiday about giving to others and appreciating family, and sacrifices made, and peace, and love, and goodwill?  Or do you give “things” that the kids can madly unwrap on Christmas morning? Tradition gets the best of me and I inevitably err on the side of “things”.  However, this year I did not go as overboard as years’ past and tried to mix the things with some experiences.  Oaxaca will be a destination for us in 2017 as well as DC.  I also want to take some good camping trips.

We asked Santa to stick with a room décor theme for Ri this year.  She got a new desk and hutch, dresser and nightstand as well as some pictures and framed quotes.  Mario got a new Dell computer in order to vlog and listen to his jams.  He also got some Cowboys attire since that is his new favorite team thanks to Ezekiel Elliott).  I ended up getting him a dresser, too, since I found one for cheap on line, and he has never had one before. Yeah, not kidding.  He has just used the three tiny drawers in his steps going up to his bed. Of course, I ordered all the kids’ furniture on line so Jon and I get to assemble it ourselves.  We worked on the dresser the day after Christmas and 3 hours later, we were still slaving over it.  I was ready to ship the assembly off to a contractor but was not ready to pay $150 so we kept working. We finally finished 2 hours later, and now we can walk in Mario’s room and admire our work….

Maria’s desk and hutch was a bit easier to assemble, thank god.  I actually assembled the hutch all by myself; I screwed all the parts in backwards and had to dis-assemble it all and start over, but I finally got it.  It does feel good to know that you built something from scratch (especially when you are typically inept at such creations).  And I now know what a cam screw is!


We enjoyed Susie’s house for Christmas Eve.  Patty drove down with us this year and we first stopped at my mom’s to exchange gifts.  Patty got to admire her new home, and my mom got to ask Patty about her potential new home in Marietta.  My mom enjoys the company.  The kids loved on Lou and took a few trips down the stairs in their comforters before begging to open presents.  They got spoiled beyond belief: Mario got a desk chair and Ri got new boots.  Rocco got a new hedgehog playmate (which he did not destroy within the first ten minutes of playing with it – miracle).


The kids loved playing with Cy and Robert at Susie’s house.  They ran around and around with them playing with nerf guns and wrestling.  The fun had to cease when Cy turned to run away from Mario and rammed his head on the dip in the ceiling.  He got a nice gash.  Jane and Olivia rushed him to Urgent Care and a few staples later he was good as new.  It’s not a Heile party until someone starts bleeding.  The kids also love participating in the White Elephant game.  Mario got a puzzle and was less than impressed.  He had his eyes on a bag that had a Polo watch and a pair of “USA” socks in it because he thought they would be the perfect gifts for his dad.  He was finally able to steal the bag after Aunt Julie helped him out and took his puzzle. Ri scored a Starbucks card.


Ri and Mario loved holding baby Harper. Mario thoroughly enjoyed it for about three minutes and then was ready to move on. Ri would have held her all night.


We all sang Christmas carols with Aunt Susie towards the end of the night – one of the highlights of the evening.  Susie plays the piano while we try our best to keep a tune.

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Mario was the first to get up on Christmas morning at 7 am.  We made him wait until 7:30 to wake Maria up.  We laid in bed trying to prepare for the day ahead. At 7:29, Mario woke up Ri and they both walked into our room commanding us to awaken and head downstairs.  Patty had been up since 6 am, and was showered and ready to head out to church.  Ri distributed the gifts to everyone, and the opening began. Big smiles planted on their faces.  It took about 45 minutes to get through gifts this year, which was pleasantly longer than last year.  I swear we were done opening presents in 10 minutes last year.

The kids were more mature this year in both the approach to opening presents and in the actual opening of the presents.  In years’ past, they would have been up at 6 am and jumping on our bed incessantly until we arose and trekked down the steps with them.  They would have been shaking each present and thinking heavily about which one to open first.    They would have torn through them in seconds unable to soak in appreciation for each gift one at a time.  But this year, they wokr at a reasonable hour. They waited patiently as we got on our sweatshirts and brushed our teeth.  

They still showed enthusiasm, when passing out the gifts under the tree but it was a more measured, calm enthusiasm.  They carefully tore the wrapping paper off their gifts and took their time scanning each present.  And they showed appreciation for each gift (even if it wasn’t something they particularly wanted (i.e., hats and gloves).


So here we are, setting up a computer and a desk  rather than a train set or a Barbie house.  The day was bound to arrive at our doorstep.  But I am going to work hard to celebrate it rather than bemoan it.  True, my babies are growing up and no longer require constant attention, and I miss that greatly. But my babies are growing up and no longer require constant attention, and I must appreciate that as well. 

I just wish we could go back to ten $1 gifts….

Weekend fare

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Ri fasted with her friend on Friday morning through Saturday afternoon in order to raise awareness and money for individuals who die from starvation every day. She did not eat breakfast Friday morning even though I told her that she should at least have a piece of fruit since she would be in school all day. She called me once she arrived at school, and was hysterically laughing.

“Mom, we don’t need to fast until noon today. I could’ve had breakfast!”

Lucky for her, I stashed a few cereal bars in her book bag. She came home from the fasting event at her friend’s church on Friday night around 9:30 PM. She told me about learning how much starvation occurs in the world, what it’s like to not have enough money for clothes and food and medications, and how to help those in need. I am so grateful that she is interested in social justice issues and does not shy away from discussing them.

I asked her if she was going to continue to fast through Saturday and she looked at me like I was crazy.

“Of course I am, Mom. This is a very very important issue and we need more people to get concerned about it.” 

Then she leaned over to me and asked if she could have one lick oh my whipped cream… 

Sure enough, she left on Saturday morning for her babysitter class without any breakfast. The class ended up being ok but not ideal. They learned safety tips and “every way you can get hurt” while babysitting (scraped, burned, cut – they were cracking me up as they described that session) and they got to change a real live baby’s diaper, which Maria could do with her eyes closed. But they did not learn CPR, which is one thing I had hoped would be included in the training.  Nonetheless, they had a good time together and got a “good sitter” certificate. Now, they want to get together and start their own babysitting business to earn money to go to a camp this summer. More power to them!


Meanwhile, Mario had begged me to take him to the mall on Saturday. I had absolutely no desire to drive 20 minutes to walk around that box so we agreed that we would go to GameStop instead. His friend was over when I got home from working out so he went with us. They each brought old video games to turn in for cash. GameStop was filled with mighty fine folks in their sandals and sweatpants and disheveled hair ready to buy the latest Pokémon game. I felt a bit out of place. Mario’s friend had six video games to turn in –they offered him a total of $5.40 for them (3 cents for one of them). Mario had two recent video games, and he got a total of $7. His friend commented how sad it was that his dad spent $60 on each of the games and he only got back $5 for all of them. His comment was a perfect segway for my speech to Mario about spending all of his money on games he would play for a week and then discard. Mario listened to me but obviously didn’t hear me because he walked over to me with several “mature” video games he wanted. I swiftly declined each request much to his dismay. The “dude” at the front desk saw his dismay and pointed out an “awesome” video game that had a teen rating. Mario looked skeptical but decided that he would try it out. When we arrived home, he immediately loved it. I have to thank the dude because I got two hours of cleaning done as Mario described his every move while playing the game.

Ri spent the night at Alana’s on Saturday night so she could spend time with Alana’s new kitten. Yes, she got a kitten for her birthday. Her name is Lillian and she is adorable. Mario and I watched Dude Perfect videos and I let him sleep with Jon, which made him so happy.

On Sunday, Mario and I washed Rocco at the Doggy Spa; Mario had missed out at our last washing so he was excited to go with just me. 


We went to Stauf’s afterwards and ate a pumpkin chocolate chip muffin. Yum. Sweet Rocco waited outside and we watched him through the window. Several people walked up and petted him. Such a doll baby. 

Ri came home at noon and we all headed to her basketball tournament up north. She’s on a tougher team this year and has to step her play up a notch. Jon and I were very proud of her defensive skills and we know her offensive skills will improve with practice. She was hard on herself, as always, but settled down after the coaches talked to her (and Jon – she doesn’t like to talk to me until after the game).


We finished the night with Mario’s practice and some stuffed green peppers compliments of our loving chef, Maria. 

Grace 

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I listened to a podcast yesterday morning and the speaker was talking about pulling up in his driveway and seeing his three kids playing in the yard with a big beachball. He described how he watched them giggle and toss the ball, and how joyful it made him feel. He further described it as a happiness that was so magnificent it seemed undeserved, or as he saw it, grace.

I have been blessed with those moments  on quite a few occasions; mostly when I’m surrounded by family. And it is just as he describes: a happiness that is so full and rich and grounding that it feels it should not be deserved.

It happened last week when I took the kids to an audition for a local play, A Christmas Carole. Neither kid has ever wanted to act before but in the last month or so, Mario became interested, and then Maria followed him. I had no idea what to expect since I’ve never been in theater. I got some tips from my colleague who acted in community theater when she was younger, and I asked a mom in town what she experienced when her daughter tried out a year ago (I have a sneaking suspicion that Mario decided to take up acting because of her daughter…). She told me that the kids would just get up and sing a little bit of a song and recite a few lines. So that is what I told Maria and Mario to expect. 

The kids were so excited when I got home from work. Maria was decked out in a black dress with pearls and Mario was dressed in a button-down shirt and khakis.

We walked into the community center and they had already started auditions. As soon as we walked in a boy stood in the front of the room with a tweed jacket on and asked if he should sing the song in the soprano or the tenor voice. Maria’s and Mario’s jaws dropped to the ground, as did mine. Then a woman followed up after the boy singing a beautiful tune. Maria looked petrified and shook her head sideways.

“I am not doing this, mom. No way.”

Mario just stood in awe.

There were quite a few folks waiting to be called so I hoped that some of them were winging auditions like us and were amateurs. I got my wish a few kids later. One sang “happy birthday” and another sang “jingle bells.” The kids felt somewhat relieved. Mario’s friend Addy showed up with her mom soon thereafter and went before Maria and Mario so they could continue to get comfortable in the surroundings. She sang “happy birthday to you” and Mario felt much better. He walked up next and sang his jingle bells song. He kept his chin up and sang at a respectable decibel level. I know he was a bit nervous compared to when he was practicing with Maria and me. After he was finished, Maria decided that she would go ahead and do it, too. She sang “row row row your boat” and even used voice inflexion. She has a really pretty voice. After she finished, Mario walked up to her and gave her a hug.  I wanted to weep at his warmth towards his sis. I was just so relieved and glad the both of them at least gave it a try and did not let fear hold them back.

After singing in front of the theater director, they had no problems reciting lines with other actors. Maria was incredible with her word tone and her movements. I was very surprised at how well she did. Mario did well, also, but I think he was assuming there would be movie lights and Hollywood actors at the audition. I think his big goal is simply to be on a movie screen as a cinema hunk.

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​As I stood in the back of the room, my heart swelled over the bravery these two kids exhibited by showing up at a blind audition where they knew nothing about what would happen. They overcame their fear and anxiety and performed. I couldn’t have been prouder.