Legos and Baggie books

March 17, 2014March 17, 2014Leave a comment

I refused to allow the kids on the computer Saturday morning so they roped me into playing Legos with them. Quite an experience.
Mario created flying men who could wield a giant axe mid-air to cut off peoples’ heads. Lovely.
Maria created a trailer to carry horses and several townspeople to Texas. (Non-sarcastic) lovely.
Maria and I were finally able to get Mario to calm his violent men down and hop on the trailer. Then she surprised him and made the trailer fly! Mario was impressed.
He follows her lead more than he will ever admit. For example, she created a “blender” on her trailer for the people to make smoothies. Within two minutes, he was building a similar blender and explaining how people can make smoothies. Ri looked at me and smiled. She knows her influence.
After an hour or so, they begged to play Minecraft for a few minutes. I agreed only if Mario read a Baggie book to us.
Mario whined a bit but then gave in to the pressure and sat next to Ri and read. He is doing so well with sounding out his words. He does really good looking at the pictures to figure out the words, too. Sweet story about that: in one of Mario’s books, there was a picture of a dog running with his owner everywhere. A boy asks “can I take your dog on a walk?” A girl responds “No, take the dog for a run!” She looks angry in the picture even though it’s clear that is not the intent. When Mario read that last sentence, he read it angrily. I asked him why he used that tone. He responded “look how angry that girl looks – that is how she would talk.” Very analytical thinking out of that boy.
He was close to finishing his baggy book when he hit a hard word: “skipping”. He tried a few attempts when Ri stepped in and gave a hint.
“How does “sk” sound?”
Mario couldn’t quite get it.
“What do you do with rocks at the river?”
“Skip!”
“Good job buddy! Now what does “ing” sound like?”
“Oh, skipping!”
God, I love seeing those exchanges! How darling. Makes my heart flip-flip.

Lullaby

March 13, 2014March 13, 2014Leave a comment

This is how M&M roll when Jon is away. Stay up way too late and fall asleep – only after eating ice cream sandwiches and watching a cheesy Nickelodeon show – on the couch, sprawled out with dad’s fleece blankets covering them.
I carry them upstairs when I decide to hit the hay. Maria wraps her arms around me and always mumbles some unintelligible words as I trek up the stairs. Then I plop her on her bed, cover her up with her three blankets, and kiss her goodnight. Sometimes she smiles at me.
Mario always jerks when I first pick him up but then realizes it’s me and melts his upper body into mine. I lay him in my bed and he scoots himself to the very edge until he’s almost hanging off, and then reaches for the covers. I lay them over his shoulders and kiss him goodnight. His mouth relaxes into a tiny oval shape – just the perfect nest to lay a robin’s egg – and I stare at him as I lay on my pillow with the moon’s light shining through the window. His breath is a lullaby and I fall quickly to sleep.

Fashion sense

March 11, 2014Leave a comment

Note to Maria:

Never doubt your fashion sense. I want you to sport the basketball shorts with the hair flower with the go-go boots when you live in NYC and run a health care company. Change it up from the tired old black suit and black heels and pearl necklace. If anyone can do it, it is you, my dear.

Pinch me

March 9, 2014March 9, 2014Leave a comment

Pinch me.

My life is ridiculously good.

Sweet, generous, loving kids.

Hilarious, caring hubby.

Warm, ever-present family.

True friends.

Great colleagues.

I am very lucky. Most days I stop myself ten times over and process this fact. Is it my culture transformation work I did at the university? Is it that I’m getting older and with that gaining a fuller picture of what it means to be happy? Is it that all the self-help books I read in my 30’s have finally hit home?

My weekends with the kids rarely disappoint. They are at ages now where they are able to play on their own or with each other but they also still want to hang with me and go to the park or take a bike ride. It’s perfect: I can get fully caffeinated, brush up on world events by reading my Times, and then later engage in a full-blown pillow fight.
And I love how their minds are developing; it leads to really awesome questions ranging from the benign – how are sidewalk made – to the sublime – why do we go to war. Mario points out things he sees in books we read together that I would never notice. Ri continues to practice the art of compassion by never judging others – the other day I about cussed out a young guy who cut in front of me in line at Kroger’s and she pulled me aside and whispered “mom, he may have somewhere really important to be.”

Yesterday was another day where I stopped myself over and over amazed at how wonderful I had it. The day brought wonderful near-Spring weather. The girls took a bike ride while I walked Rocco. We got a picture on the same rock we took a picture on when Rocco was a pup. Ri was very excited about that!

Mario met us at the park and the kids decided it was time for Rocco to adventure down a slide. Their eyes about popped out of their heads when he did it.

I love this picture of the kids running with Rocco. It’s a perfect depiction of the joy of warm weather.

And this is the perfect depiction of Ri laughing hysterically as she tries to catch up with Rocco!

Love love love these beginning days of Spring.
Next up, a trip to the river where Ri and Mario and I used to go on Sundays to collect rocks. It was closed for a year to create a bike path and I was anxious to see what the trail looked like. We piled in Stephanie’s van with the pup sitting next to Ri and the boys carrying their weapons (in case we encountered zombies) and headed down the street. We parked at the gas station and unloaded. What a sight.

The bank where we used to collect and throw rocks was still ready for us. But it was rather insane trying to make sure the kids didn’t fall (there were huge boulders lined up where there used to be gravel). Rocco added to the insanity by trying to jump in the river; Mario screamed like a maniac for me to hold his leash because “he didn’t want his dog to die!” So, I held him as he pulled me all over the rocks while I held Paxton to ensure he didn’t fall. Good workout.
The kids found great hide-outs made of sticks and leaves (I didn’t inform them that homeless folks probably used these “shelters” because I didn’t quite know how Steph would react but I did feel compelled to talk to M&M later that evening to help them appreciate the struggle all people face at times). The boys played capture and the girls played dorm room (whatever that is).

The kids found a big rock pile on our way out and I asked them to pose as savages. All complied except Mario who continued to laugh like a hyena!

In order to get them to leave, I had to promise them a snack at the gas station. They booked it after that promise. The boys got chocolate donuts (they slipped me one in thanks) and the girls got ice cream cones. They were happy as heck driving home.
We ended the night watching my girlfriend’s kids. A six week old and two year old who I had never met… Huh. I was a bit worried. But it ended up being absolutely joyous. Ri was excited all day to hold the six week old, Emerson Lois. She kept asking “when will it be 5:30?!” Mario kept telling me he didn’t want to babysit. But when they dropped off Miles, Mario took to him like sugar. He threw the ball with him and led him around his room to play. It was precious. And Miles couldn’t be more chill of a kid. He just followed Mario and played with whatever Mario gave him. He never cried once (kudos go all to Mario!).

He taught him how to crawl up the stairs so he wouldn’t fall down and how to beg for (and receive) a cookie. He was so compassionate and sweet with him. Warmed my heart.

And Ri was, as I knew she would be, a doll with Emerson. She laid with her and held her and couldn’t wait to change her diaper. Emerson is a real life baby doll!

Emerson pitched a little fit at one point and I had to put her in her seat while I got Miles’ dinner. The next thing I knew, Ri had her quiet by rocking her back and forth. She also had picked up the mom talent of multi-tasking as she rocked the baby and read a magazine – love it!

I sat at the kitchen table when my girlfriend left with her kids and my kids and Jon had gone to sleep and felt engulfed with gratitude. Another day full of laughter and sunshine and good kids and nature and a tired pup and chocolate donuts. Really, it doesn’t get any better.

National Pancake Day

March 7, 2014Leave a comment

And we celebrated National Pancake Day in style on Tuesday night with giant pancakes full of chocolate chips. Mario just tries to eat out the chocolate chips from the pancake so I’ve decided to throw chips everywhere into the pancake so he will eat it all.
We made 18 pancakes and by the end of the night, there were only two left. We got our full of gluten for the week.
When I was rubbing the kids’ backs later in the evening before bed, Mario looked over at Ri and me.
“I hope it’s National Long John Day tomorrow!”
Ri and I smiled at him and Ri reached over and tussled his blond locks.
You’re silly, bud,” I responded (but I secretly hoped the same).

Cancun 2014

March 5, 2014March 5, 2014Leave a comment

I never thought I’d complain about the heat after the Winter we have had this year. But I returned from my morning run in Cancun sweating and feeling nauseous because of the sun beaming down on me. I think my body was in shock after running in 5 degree weather the last two months. But that was the only hot weather complaint I had while on our annual Cancun vacation with Jon’s work folks.
We left on Wednesday morning at 4:30 am (I braved 10 degree weather in shorts with the excitement of landing in 80 degree weather). We arrived at the hotel at 11 am, did our Chevy Chase Vacation head bobbing on the balcony of our room while taking in the ocean, and headed down to swim. We had a blast playing in the waves. Meanwhile, Ri called us four times in a row to tell us how much she missed us. Mario was perfectly content with Grandma Ionno but Ri missed having us around her. We better take that in while we can because I have a feeling that may not continue in a couple of years.
We hung out a good deal with Jon’s friend Craig and his wife Julie. Julie and I tease Jon and Craig about their bromance but it is quite darling. They told Julie and me that they take care of one another – when one is having a bad day, the other lifts him up. And when Craig heard Jon ordering a coke at McDonald’s one morning, he counseled him on making better choices. Precious. Julie talked to me about Pure Barre and how much she loved it. I think that will be my new adventure in exercise…. They are a sweet couple and we all laughed a lot when we were together.

Jon and I engaged in our normal routine: I get up and workout, we meet for the killer breakfast buffet (Ri would adore it), we jump in the ocean and swim, we get massages, we jump back in the ocean, we eat dinner, we crash. Not a bad life. I even swam with a shark this year! I didn’t mean to by any means…. I was looking for shells a ways down the beach and stood up to find a three foot shark swimming by me. I froze and let him continue to circle me and when he moved away a third time, I darted onto the beach. I couldn’t wait to tell Jon and Mario! And Jon experienced a first at the beach, too. He got a pedicure! His feet were baby soft and he had to admit he loved it. I imagine he will be sneaking away at lunch to get one every three weeks. He did have to endure his guy friends giving him grief about his robe though. The front desk lady gave him a super short one to wear even after he asked for another. When he walked into the waiting area, his buddy Phil shook his head and said “Jon, you just made my day.” His other friend told him that the robe looked like it would fit his twelve year old daughter. Nothin’ like guy friends to calm your anxiety. When we got up to the room, there was a present laying there for Jon – a toddler-size robe compliments of “The Guys”. We laughed for ten minutes straight.
Jon’s boss, Jim tried to teach us to body surf to no avail. The man is like balsa wood the way he rides a wave nearly into shore. Jon and I made it about five feet from where the wave crested.
We missed hanging with Dave and Jen and Joe and Lydia – our Michigan buddies. Our schedules never lined up except when Jen and I got to dance to our Violent Femmes song in the pool Friday night. We are gonna need some time on Dave’s boat this Summer….

Patty cranked out four straight days with the kiddos, god love her! Maria got strept throat on Thursday. She called us up barely able to speak but mustering up the words to tell us that “this is the time when she most needs her parents near her.” Talk about knowing how to give a guilt trip…! When we arrived home on Saturday night (a day early between Ri’s strept and the snowmageddon predicted for Sunday), these posters were hanging:

I love how this one has our ages.

And this one poses questions to us (answers: I’d rather eat with Michael Jackson and Jon would rather eat a snail).
We got the most warm and welcoming hugs from the munchos when we stepped in the door (we need to leave more often).
And Rocco was in heaven with his doggy pals at the farm. As Jorge commented “Rocco likes Winter.”

All is back to normal again: kids, Rocco, 48 year old dad and 42 year old mom are back at home together waiting for Spring to come.

Spring is coming…

February 23, 2014February 23, 2014Leave a comment

Yesterday ranks at the top of my list for awesome Winter days because it delivered hope that Spring will be coming shortly. We got up to 50 degrees!
I got in a long run in the morning and then came home to the kids playing the card game, War. Mario had all the aces and was whooping on Ri. Thank god Ri is a good sport and can laugh it all off. Every time Mario won, she’d growl at him and he would laugh hysterically. That was more fun than the actual card game.

After War, they built a fort on our bed and played together while I cleaned up the downstairs. Then Mario rode bikes with Quinn while Ri and I took Rocco for a walk. Ri broke out her bike for the walk, too. The first bike rides of the year! Whoo-hoo! Spring is coming.

Rocco followed her like a bodyguard on the walk. It was Girl Scout cookie pick-up day so we headed over to Kimberly’s to pick up Maria’s 207 cookies. she rocked it out this year! The entire car trunk was full of boxes of Samoas, Thin Mints, Do Si Dos, and Trefoils. If we got stranded, we’d be fine for 3 months.
We came home and unloaded them in the garage and then started on our way. Mario decided he wanted to help us, too. So there we were just like a couple of months ago when we went out to sell the cookies – all three of us and Rocco walking door to door and enjoying each other’s company. I just adore these kiddos. We passed out the initial round to six houses and then needed a pb&j break. After chowing on some lunch, we headed out again (sans Mario who decided he needed done dad time). This is how the stroller looked as we headed out on our next delivery.

Ri was a trooper – she made it to every house. I was so proud of her! She would calculate how much people owed before she walked up to the door and always say “thank you.” What a good business woman.
As a treat, I allowed her to take Rocco to the doggie wash. We’ve passed it a hundred times on our walk and wanted to take Rocco but never got around to it. Rocco, we found out, would have rather kept it that way. He was not fond of the water or the shampoo. I had to hold him tight the entire time. Ri wanted go help wash him but Mario declined because it would have meant he got a little wet (he can’t stand for his clothes to get wet).

He had to spend 45 minutes under the dryer. We left so we didn’t have to see the torture. I am sure he was like “seriously, people?!” But look at how darling he looked afterwards!

Love love love the day. I am so grateful for sweet kids, a supportive hubby, a running partner pup, and an incredible family. And for Spring coming….

Wise beyond her years

February 21, 2014February 21, 2014Leave a comment

She accomplished it.

The 2014 Brain Blast occurred last night at Edison Commons, and Ri stood nervous but proud at her poster about horses. She practiced the night before with me and did fabulous. The first time she read off her poster but made eye contact with me every once in a while. The second time she tried without reading it and she struggled a bit. I told her to look at the poster when she needed to if she got lost.
She has a knack of being able to bulls– when she doesn’t know the answer. I asked her what a horseshoe was made of and she responded without flinching “it’s made of 100 different metals.”
Hmm, really. I gently asked her how she knew that and she gently noted back to me “she just did.” I think this could either be a very good sign that she can stay composed under pressure or a very bad sign that she can lie through her teeth! I let her know that her dad is amazing at being able to answer questions that he doesn’t know the answers to and she’s inherited his quick thinking. But, she’s gotta be careful to not purposefully lie about things. I showed her Wikipedia and it’s description of what’s in a horseshoe. Basically two metals, maybe three or four. She lurched back and looked surprised.
“Really?”
The day of Brain Blast, she did not want to practice. She wouldn’t practice with David or my mom. I took her for a quick walk when I got home from work to calm her down. She was nervous but not overly so. We couldn’t find her name when we arrived because another girl had set up camp in her spot. We didn’t let Ri know (no unnecessary stress) and we set up in another location next to a “Cheesehead” (his project was how to make cheese). A few of his friends came up and started tasting the cheese samples. No one approached Ri. My mama bear sonar went off. I had to fight my urge to grab a random parent and ask him to hear Ri’s presentation. I did inform her that lots of kids were just hanging out and people were passing by their posters.
She seemed a little dejected but then her teacher came by and listened and asked questions. I had to move away so I didn’t butt in and tell Ri what to say. Let her be her, Mom! I kept that mantra in my head the rest of the night whenever I wanted to help her talk about the bridle she had as an exhibit or some of the fun facts she wrote down (actually, I did mention a fun fact once to keep the conversation going – I couldn’t resist).

She did really well with staying calm under pressure. She kept asking the time so I knew she was ready to go. But we hung in for an hour. Mario was very sweet with her, too. These two take care of each other, for sure. When I whispered to him that Ri was a little nervous and anxious for people to see her poster, he walked up to her and hugged her. Then he asked her to tell him about horses. It was darling.

She asked if she could walk around and see other people’s projects. She hung with a few boys from her class and watched their experiments. She ate a cupcake. She seemed fine and dandy. It was me that was a nervous wreck. We left an hour later and she picked Bob Evans for dinner (Cap City was first but the wait was too long). I asked her if she had fun. She hesitantly said yes. I asked if she’d do anything different next year and she answered “I’d do an experiment to attract more people.”
I thought that was extremely mature and self-aware of her. She didn’t throw a tantrum that less people approached her than she expected. She didn’t blame anyone. She didn’t make excuses. She acknowledged reality and took accountability. Her horse presentation was good and something she enjoyed talking about but she also accepted the fact that kids seemed more attracted to experiments. I’m telling you, she is wise beyond her years.
While at Bob Evans, Mario had a meltdown because he wanted to see pictures of his food choices rather than mere words (yes, that is our Mario). Ri gently consoled him and then said “we will get you extra yummy chocolate chip pancakes and I will play tic-tac-toe with you until our food comes, ok little buddy?” He smiled and hugged her. Yep, wise beyond her years.

Future careers

February 19, 2014February 19, 2014Leave a comment

It came to me last night. Maria is going to be a lawyer and Mario is going to be an actor.

I took the kids upstairs last night to get them ready for bed. On the way up, I asked Mario if he gave Grandma and Peepaw a kiss and hug when they left that afternoon. He looked away from me as he muttered the word “yeah” and I could see a little grin. I repeated my question and asked him to tell me the truth. He looked at me and explained that he forgot. As he explained, he tried to jump from the bed to hug me. I stepped back and told him “no playing” until we talked. He fell to the ground and looked up at me with pathetic, watery eyes and cried “I can’t believe you wouldn’t hug me. My own mother wouldn’t hug me!”
Maria swooped in like Superwoman and started at me.
“Mom, how could you be so mean to Mario? All he wanted was to see his mom when he got home and you won’t even hug him?!”
I explained to Ms. Justice that I just wanted Mario to understand that he needs to appreciate all he gets from his family and make sure he says thank you to people. Maria started it up again:
“He did say thank you, mom. He even hugged them earlier in the day. But he couldn’t kiss them because they left too quickly. He would have ran out and grabbed them if he knew they were leaving but he was upstairs cleaning his room for you.”
I knew that was an exaggeration, which Maria has gotten very good at lately. Adding one little, additional fact to seal the deal. Meanwhile, Mario stood to the side of the room looking completely dejected. I walked up to him and said “I love you pumpkin. I just want you to appreciate all you have. Now give me a hug.” As I reached out to wrap my arms around him, he backed away. I could see him start to smile but he held it back.
“I won’t hug you now. You wouldn’t even let me hug you earlier so I won’t hug you now.”
He looked away towards the wall and I am almost sure he was smiling. He does this so I will keep going after him and beg him to let me hug him.
When I walked away, he faked a little, muffled cry. I walked back and wrapped my arms around him. He wiggled around. I continued to hug him and kiss him. He finally gave in and let me hug him without restraint. He eventually looked up at me, brushed the hair out of my face, looked at me with a serious look, and said “love you, mom” just like actors I used to watch on the Guiding Light soap opera.
Maria joined in the hug. As she leaned over me, she explained “we just want to be perfect for you and that’s hard to do all the time so you need to understand that and not get so upset.” Just like a trial advocate who taught me in law school.
Heaven help me.

Things I missed

February 18, 2014February 18, 2014Leave a comment

Top ten things I missed while the kids were in Disney world:

10. Playing football with Mario in the family room and letting him tackle me to the floor.
9. Taking an evening walk with Ri and Rocco and getting to listen to her talk about her day.
8. Watching Mario fight imaginary battles by jumping and kicking and sparring against evil all over the family room.
7. Laughing at Ri’s crazy hipster poses and hand gestures while Jon tries to talk to her.
6. Reading books to Mario and Ri as we snuggle together under the covers.
5. Coming downstairs to see Ri babying Rocco and feeding him his breakfast.
4. Hearing Mario give commands to Rocco like “sit” and “stay” and watching his face light up when Rocco actually listens.
3. Playing Mario’s and Ri’s favorite before-bed-time game – “getting butts” – which entails them jumping on the bed and trying to escape before I capture them and madly tickle them (yes, my rendition baby prison, dad!)
2. Hearing them say “I love you, mom” every morning before they head off to school and getting a smooch on the cheek and a bear hug without any complaints from them.
1. Waking up with one or both of them in between Jon and me sleeping soundly and looking like tender fairy tale creatures that I want to stare at all day and night.

Glad to have you back kiddos!

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Kids