Stop! And Laugh

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I snapped this picture of Ri with her girlfriends at Jeni’s ice cream this week. I don’t think there was more than a three minute lapse in time when she wasn’t laughing or smiling.

I have always said that these kiddos teach me as much as I teach them, and Ri reminded me that night to laugh until my jaws hurt. Surround myself with people who can make me do this. Give myself a break from work, make that call, visit that person who will leave me madly chuckling. Life should mandate these moments on a daily basis to keep perspective and sanity.

I just can’t get enough of that wide smile and deep, genuine laugh.

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Create your mission

Maria came home from Brownies a few months ago and asked us to consider our family values. She had been tasked with creating a family tree full of branches outlining our family values – what we believe is most important to our family.

We discussed it over dinner blurting out different thoughts: “we take care of each other” (dad); “we respect each other” (me); “we love each other” (Mario); “we listen to each other’s words” (Ri).  Ri decided that “we listen to each other’s words” was our most important value because it encompassed all of the other values: when you listen, you take care of each other, respect each other, and love each other.  Wise beyond her years.

I thought of this time together as I read the New York TImes article about creating your family mission. The article outlined a study which found that the more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. Children’s emotional health and happiness increased when they knew more of their family history.

A-ha!  Jon and I had finally found a study that confirmed we did something right (I remember going back to work after RI’s birth and reading studies about moms who worked outside of the home being prone to hyperactive and obnoxious kids and bawling my eyes out).  There isn’t a day that goes by that Maria and Mario aren’t begging us to tell them a story about their childhood, our childhood, our parents’ childhood.  They love the story of Jon taking forever to walk home because he had to stare at all the trees or me crying my eyes out because I missed the Brady Bunch.  They love hearing how Peepaw used to make furniture and Grandpa Ionno used to write stories and Grandma Lolo used to pump Ri’s legs to get her to poop and Grandma Ionno used to rock Mario to sleep and Grandma Meg used to read wise books to Ri.

The study also recommended that parents convey a sense of history by passing down traditions – the hokier the family’s tradition, the more likely it will be passed down.  Oh, we got that covered, too.  We have hokey, we have normal, we have in-between.  We check our stockings on St. Nick’s Day, we draw pictures of what we are grateful for at the end of the day, we look for candy and toys in the back yard on Easter, we head to Kings Island every year, we have a family bash on New Year’s Eve, we buy chips and pop for the ride home from Cincy.

So, I may have hyperactive and attention-deficit prone children from my 9-5 job but at least they will have self-esteem and be able to stand up for themselves.

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Heading up with Grandma and Grandpa

Jon and I realized last week that the upcoming weekend was going to be insane. Jon needed to prepare for an interview at work and I had to attend an all-day retreat Saturday and finish a load of work on Sunday. We were stressing about what to do with the kids on Thursday afternoon and then TA-DA! Super Patty to the rescue!

My mother-in-law is 71 (or 72?) years old. She looks 50. She moves like she’s 25. She plays with the kids like she’s 15. She also takes care of my father-in-law who is 92. For 92 years old, he does well traveling with Patty and walking to and fro but Patty still needs to be there for him on a consistent basis to take care of basic needs.

I remember going to my grandmas’ houses to spend the night. I looked forward to playing Chinese checkers or watching tv and eating a bowl of ice cream. But after that initial night, I was ready to go home. See my friends. Play with my toys. Grandma only had so much energy (or desire) to keep me occupied. But our kiddos… well….

“Mom, please let me stay at Grandma Ionno’s for five days”, pleads Mario every week. When Ri came running into the house Thursday night asking if she could have a play date with Sophie on Saturday and I told her no because she was going to Grandma’s, she jumped up and down with excitement: “can I stay there all weekend”, she asked.

And so there is never any guilt when sending them to Patty’s and Joe’s because I know they love it and they will be treated like royalty (and the same can be said about all their grandparents – they have got three sets of world class grandmas and grandpas, lucky dogs).

Patty picked them up on Friday after school even though she had planned on meeting Jon on Saturday (the kids begged to go up on Friday). They walked around the pond and chased geese. They ate yummy treats. They played on the iPad. They got treated to the bowling alley on Saturday night. Patty took them by herself while Joe stayed home with Chris. They won tickets and got all sorts of crazy toys. On Sunday, they had a St. Patrick’s Day party complete with hats, necklaces, green shirts, and cheesy potatoes (Ri’s favorite). Patty took them out to get all the decor and food for the day. I mean, seriously, how fun of a weekend is that for a kid?!

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Patty can’t leave Mario’s sight when he is up there with her. When Ri asked Patty to get Life cereal at the store, Mario begged Patty not to leave. Being the negotiator that he is, he turned to Ri and said “you don’t need Life cereal, you can have one of my Lunchables for breakfast (he thinks that is a present of gold since they have Oreos in them). Mario was upset when he found out Ri was going with him for the weekend complaining “I never get alone time with Grandma!” Ha, that’s a big ol’ fib seeing he has probably spent the most time with her and Joe of all the grandkids. But he will do what it takes to get extra time. And sure enough, Patty allowed him to stay through Wednesday while Ri had to come home to school (Ri uses every chance to tell Mario that he will be in school soon and won’t be able to spend time with Grandma on the weekdays).

Mario spiked a fever Sunday afternoon. Patty called with the news and immediately started brainstorming on how she could help so that I could get into work this week. She’s gotta double as my mother-in-law and guardian angel because she ended up keeping him up there with her and taking him to an Urgent Care so that I could attend mandatory meetings at work.

I know she and Joe love their time with the kids and feel no burden taking them like they do. That is a blessing. But I feel completely indebted to her for taking these munchos when we get in binds like this past weekend (and now week). I am so grateful to have such a support network in my family. There is a great peace of mind in knowing that no matter what problematic situations arise, my familia peeps have my back… and provide loads of fun for the kids while doing it.

Good Enough for Me

I surprised Ri this afternoon and picked her and her girlfriend up for lunch. She had asked me earlier in the week when I was slammed with offer letters, phone calls, HR questions, and I had told her I was do busy this week that I didn’t think it would work.

By the time today rolled around, I was wiped. I had a 9 am meeting and it took all my might to keep my eyes open and not stretch my mouth open for a yawn. The meeting ended at 10:55 and I made the rash decision to head over to Ri’s school to surprise her. I called the mom of one of her friends and got permission to take her daughter, too. Oh yea, I am good.

Ri was pumped up and she and Ceylone ran out of class to the car all the while laughing hysterically. I took them back to the house so they could play while I made Mac-n-cheese and corn dogs (healthy, we are not). Ri only eats Mac-n-cheese with an extra slice of cheese melted on it, which I allow for the calcium (she hates milk). We found out Ceylone does not like her Mac-n-cheese that way (which I think Ri knew) so Ri got half of Ceylone’s lunch much to her delight.

I drove them back to school and let them play in the side yard of the school away from all the other kids until the bell rang. When we walked into school, they saw Mrs. Palmer and Ri planted a linebacker hug on her.

“Personal space Maria!” she chuckled. She told me that they were working on personal space with Ri because she had a habit of hugging and holding other classmates, especially a little boy from Mexico named Alex. He can’t stand being touched by girls yet Ri always finds a way to pinch his cheeks and say “you are just the sweetest” when she’s helping him with math problems.

“She’s like a little grandma.”

I gave her my “be good and listen look” as I began to leave for the car. She gave me her stock response as she waved her hand at me “oh, mom, you just go now and don’t worry….” She knew I was irritated with her sassiness right away. In response, she gave me the smile that I have come to lear is the “I am just trying to be funny and not sassy so please don’t get mad at me smile.” I cut her a break and walked away.

As I left, I turned back to look at her. I thought she might yell “thank you” to me for taking her out to lunch but she didn’t.

Instead, she laughed with Ceylone and a friend as she walked in her classroom.

I turned back around, and smiled. A “thank you” was unnecessary after seeing the joy she radiated as she walked back to her class with her friends. If I looked up pure happiness, I think I would have found a picture of her at that moment.

And that’s definitely good enough for me.

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Wednesday night pizza and brownies

I discovered tonight that Papa John’s Pizza is horrible. Maria begged for me to order it since we were having the neighborhood kids down for dinner and play time. I was thinking Papa John’s was Little Ceasar’s and would be cheap so I agreed. Oops. $22 later I had a large and medium pizza from Papa John’s, and was soon to be royally disappointed.

We were greeted by the neighborhood kids when we pulled up. The kids were like alley dogs when I opened the pizza boxes ripping slices away from the cardboard and going to town. After a five minute dinner, the girls went outside to the trampoline and the boys went up to Mario’s room. Soon I was greeted by two Spidermen and a laser shooter.

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They were only outdone by the chocoholic girls who ravaged my brownie mix bowl and looked like savages in the wild.

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Probably a mistake to combine nasty Papa John’s pizza and garlic butter with brownies but it was if my body needed the sugar and chocolate to soak up the grease. The kids decorated the brownies with icing and sprinkles while I just continued to cut and eat small slices until there were no brownies left.

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Just so we could ensure belly aches for the evening, we played Twister. Ri lasted a few minutes, Sophie and Quinn a bit longer and Mario forever. He was a machine. He only ate a bite of pizza but had 5 brownies so maybe that’s his trick.

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When the kids’ mom texted to have them come home, I was relieved to have some quiet and just two kids in the house. Of course by that time, Mario was so jonesed up on sugar that he was running around the house like a mad man taking off his shirt and singing “I know I’m sexy…!”

I’m ready for bed.

Weekend Round-Up

A list of all the events from the weekend of March 8:

Friday

Ri headed to Kids Night Out at Stevenson. She stayed in Ms. Palmer’s room with the third graders to help watch Ms. Palmer’s little boy, Colin. She would give up friend time to watch a little kid anytime. She also got a healthy dose of Spongebob while they waited for Mrs. Palmer to get organized.

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When I picked her up from KNO, I ran down the hall with her and out the door trying to pinch her behind. We jumped onto a stone structure and laughed as we tried to get our breath. She looked at me and said “you are the funnest mom ever!” Words tucked away in my heart.

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2. While Ri was at KNO, I took Mario to Target to buy new shirts and a Skylander (he got to buy that with his own money). We got our icees and headed straight to the Skylander aisle. And… we stood there for what seemed like two hours deciding which Skylander to buy. Another kid came over while we were standing there and he and Mario acted like old friends as they chatted about their favorite Skylanders. Hilarious. We ended up with Stealth Elf who Mario reported was liked by everyone – even our babysitter David. A cute little gal, I must admit. Then we headed to the clothing aisle. Doggone Spring clothes were already out so we could only find a few long-sleeved shirts. He found some boxers that “looked just like dad’s” so we got those, too. We got a good deal on a Dr. Seuss book – $5 – and Mario “read” it on the way home. He is hilarious with reading. He simply looks at the pictures and makes up his own story. He’s pretty creative, and usually some up with a more interesting story than the one in the book.

Saturday

We took advantage of 55 degree weather! We also took advantage of Mario’s new running shirt – as soon as I came home from my run he begged to go out with me for another run.

“I have my new running shirt, mom! I want to test it out!”

Ri biked (her worst nightmare is running!) and Mario and I ran. I explained to him about keeping a steady pace which he adhered to for two seconds and then sprinted again. After about two blocks he turned around and said “why aren’t I sweaty yet, like you always are?!” He wants to come home sweaty just like his mama (another one if Ri’s nightmares!). We played at the park a while and then went home to toss the football.

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After running around, the kids were ready to chill in the car for a trip to Cincy for Cy’s 18th birthday party. Mario made dad and I engage in a singing contest (dad won with his famous song “Spicy Meatballs”) and Ri drew a picture for Cy’s birthday. When we arrived, the kids went straight to Robert and Cy and their girlfriends to play. Robert tossed the football with Mario and Cy messed around with Ri. There was a two-year old boy at the party so Ri was in heaven chasing him around and holding him. She is gonna be a heck of a babysitter.

Jane made killer lasagna and garlic bread: the Italian Ionno family was quite pleased. Liz and I ate with the kids downstairs cracking up at Ri going to town on her lasagna and Mario trying to play pool. Jane has hosted 72 birthday parties over the years for her kiddies – what a machine! We sang happy birthday to Cy, gobbled up chocolate cake and ran around the house wild until it was time to head home.

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Sunday

Ri rode her bike and I ran up to Stauf’s. We took a long way up and down side streets to make it a three mile ride/run and Ri cranked it out on her old, run-down bike. She prides herself on being able to ride this bike (she always asks “do you think [insert friend’s name] could ride this bike like I do?). The chain is rather rusted and the pedals are tough to push but she has her parents’ strong leg muscles!

We had a wonderful Stauf’s trip – we sat outside in the 60 degree weather eating a chocolate chip scone and talking about school. I love mornings like that. We brought home a donut for home-body Mario and got ready for the Ionno clan to arrive.

We hadn’t seen Alana and Gio for a while so the kids were excited to have them over.  As soon as they arrived, Ri and Alana were upstairs playing barbies and Gio and Mario were on my bed with my iPad and Grandma Ionno’s iPad. When we made them come downstairs to play, they picked up their nerf guns and acted like they were zombie killers.

I took the girls to the woods to try to find baby bunnies. No luck on that front but we did find a good tree to climb. It was only 65 degrees but Ri was “so hot.” She had to create a “belly shirt” to cool down and slip off her shoes. God help her when Summer hits.

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The boys were next. I took them to the woods by the train tracks (I didn’t let them go near the tracks, Aunt Kathy!). They were hilarious talking about Skylanders and zombie killing. Mario kept asking Gio if Gio had a running shirt like he did. When Gio said no, Mario scolded him that he needed to get in shape.

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When we returned, I had to play zombie. The boys destroyed me with their nerf guns (they did an excellent job aiming from the waist down). Then Grandma Ionno got in the mix and wrestled Mario. For 70+ years, that woman can hold her own. I can’t get over how much energy she has. She was on the carpet rolling all around with Mario. Good way to stay fit ad work off some of the calories consumed from Jon’s killer homemade spaghetti and meatballs meal.

We ended the weekend on our backs looking up at the sky and debating what the tree in our yard most resembled (I thought the tree stump from Skylanders and Ri thought a mom asking her kids why they broke something – you can see who is more creative).

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And here’s to the start of a new week.

Snowball personalities

Nothing like the snow to bring out our respective personalities:

Maria, the muscle. She rolled that snowball until it took both Jon and I to lift it.

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Mario, the provoker. He threw snowballs at me and Jon and Ri every time we turned our backs on him.

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Jon, the machine-lover. He couldn’t wait to get home to his snow blower and clear off the bit of snow at the end of the driveway that had accumulated throughout the day (Mario in the foreground making his snowball move).

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And me. The do-er. “Let’s stop this nonsense and build our snowman!”
And since I have trained my kids well, we ended up with not one snowman but five of them scattered throughout our lawn (the neighbor kids did come down and help to their credit).

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Money Money

Mario continues to be fixated on money. He called me into the bedroom this morning and shouted “Look, look!” Tim Horton’s had a commercial for its scratch-off tickets.

“You can win up to $50,000 or a new car!”

After it was over, he looked over at me to see my reaction. I looked amazed and said “wow, I could win a lot of money!”

He shook his head and said “no, mom, I wouldn’t go for that one. Grandma Ionno played and just won a coffee.”

He proceeded to tell me that the insurance commercial where we save $100 by switching to a new company is a lot better deal for us because then we know we’d get $100 cash.

This behavior paired with his recent request of Grandma Ionno to buy him button down shirts and a tie, make me see Wall Street in his future… or maybe, CEO of Traveler’s Insurance.

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Weekend Round-Up

Maria exhibited her mom’s wackiness for “Crazy Hat Day” at school by taking her straw hat she received as a gift at a birthday party and pinning a stuffed animal on top.

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If it would have been the first week of school, that would never have happened. But since she knows her classmates so well, she had no qualms about it. She is quite the party animal when she knows everyone involved.

She had one heck of a day on Friday because after Crazy Hat Day, we played Yahtzee in the evening. Mario and I have both gotten Yahtzees while playing the game and Ri always gets so dejected that she hasn’t experienced the thrill. First roll of the game, she got a Yahtzee! And with sixes! She was so charged up. I think one of the greatest milestones for kids is when they experience excitement for another instead of experiencing jealousy. This happened with Mario. He got so excited for Ri when she got her Yahtzee; he gave her a big big and yelled “good job, Ria!” About five minutes later, she rolled another one. She ran into Jon to tell him the unbelievable news. Mario didn’t exhibit quite the excitement but he didn’t whine either (big progress). Ri ended up demolishing us by over 200 points. She remains the reigning champ but a game is scheduled for tonight and I feel lucky.

On Saturday, we went to the middle school’s fun fair. They have a raffle, tons of cookies and cupcakes, games and a bouncey house. What more can kids ask for?! I always feel bad for Mario because Ri is at that age where she “meets up” with her girlfriends and runs around with them the entire time. Mario begs to bring a friend but his friends live outside of Grandview and it’s a whole big ordeal to plan a play date. I am so glad that he is starting Kindergarten next year and will meet Grandview boys to hang with on the weekends.

Sure enough, as soon as we walked in, one of Maria’s friends appeared. They walked around together for most of the time (Hailey’s mom “trailed” them without letting them know it). Ri’s at that strange age where you feel comfortable letting her run around at a closed event like this but you also don’t want to leave her completely unchaperoned. It feels strange not to have her by my side and to watch her act goofy with her girlfriends and boys in her grade.

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Meanwhile, Mario wanted me to watch him go down the bouncey house slide fifteen times over. He still stands by my side, which I won’t complain about at all. But as soon as our next door neighbors showed up, he left me and went running around with Quinn. He loved the toilet paper toss – our little hillbilly.

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He also kicked it at the dart game – got a bullseye on his first try (taking after his Uncle Greg).

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The kids located the face paint table towards the end of the day and Ri, being true to her school spirit, got a Bobcat paw. Mario, being true to his bad self, got a vicious snake.

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I could not believe it was 2 pm when we left. We stayed at that fair for three hours. I was spent. But we managed to head into my office around 5 in order for me to print off some things. We ended up on there until 7 pm. The kids loved sitting at the computer and playing. Mario was on mine and Ri was on my assistant’s. I was on my colleague’s. when I had finished my tasks, I walked into my office and found Mario watching some home-made Transformers movie where every other word was a cuss word.

“How long have you been watching this?” I asked him.

“Only a few minutes. It’s awesome.”

We had a talk about using those words and I didn’t hear any of them the rest of the weekend so hopefully we are in the clear.

My dad called Saturday night to ask if he could crash at our place after watching Jack play at a bar that night. It’s a sad day when your dad is partying til the wee hours of the night and crashing at your place (and you’ve been in bed since 10 pm)! Ri and I made pancakes for Peepaw in the morning and then followed him to Cincy to decorate Grandma Menkedick’s grave on the anniversary of her death. Ri wore all pink in her honor. It was freezing outside.

I love the few words my dad said to Ri when she told him she was freezing. “Now we can visit her grave every year and we will know that Spring is coming soon.”

Maria had to take a picture before we left.

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We performed our tornado exercise at my mom’s house Sunday afternoon. We watched Lou eat a stuffed bear, ate cookies and played on the bed. Then we went to a birthday party that Grace-Bug was invited to at a gym with inflatables. Nothing like inviting yourself to someone’s birthday party (luckily we knew them). The kids went non-stop on the inflatables and begged me to join. Aunt Julie tried to teach me to sit still and make them play on their own but I couldn’t last too long. Besides, I love playing on those things! Ri, Mario and I held hands down the shark slide and Gracie even braved it. And… we even scored sheet cake! Ri and I downed two pieces each.

We ended the day with baths at Julie’s house. Maria and Gracie in one tub and Mario in his own. They smelled like baby shampoo on the way home. I miss that scent.

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Grandma Lolo gave Ri a koala bear and Mario a “hot stuff” bear (apropos) for the ride home. We stopped at BP for our chips and drinks and we were off for Columbus. When we got home, we hoped dad would surprise us and not have left for his trip. No such luck. The only silver lining was that the kids got to sleep in my bed with me ( a silver lining for the kids – not me – as I get kicked and punched all night!).

Jon and mini-him

I never need to miss Jon too much when he’s out of town because Maria acts as a mini-him.

This morning Mario begged to play with the iPad and I let in after the fifth plea just to have some quiet. Maria shook her head at me and counseled “you have to say no to him, mom, and not give in.” Then we were walking out the door to head to school and I had a ceramic bowl of apples for Mario. Maria saw them and scolded me.

“You aren’t letting Mario take that nice bowl into school, are you?”

I saw Jon channeled through her at that moment. I burst out laughing and found myself responding like I would to Jon. “No babe, I’m not going to let Mario bring in the bowl to school.”

As I drove to work, I realized I did let Mario take the bowl into school. Jon and mini-him would be so disappointed….

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