Hope in humanity (or not)

I spent this morning talking to Maria and Mario about the project that we are going to work on with homeless families at the Y two weeks from now. Maria asked if we could take some stuffed animals to the kids so they could hold them when they felt scared. Mario handed me a transformer and told me he wants to give it to one of the kids.

They give me hope in humanity and our future!

But the Onion brings me back to reality with this article. Thank god for its humor to get me through Friday and to the weekend!

Cheerleader girl

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Our Bobcat
heading off to school
But not before she
belted out a cheer
“Come on everybody
You gotta rock with the blues
And roll with the whites!”

Who would have thought?
Me with a cheerleader
daughter.
But she’s taught me not
to judge.

She is one heck of a
party animal and
enjoys a good time.

She cheers to:

Excite people,

Foster camaraderie,

Root for her team,

Talk to her friends,

And maybe eat a hot dog or two
at half-time….

Salons and DQ

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I had to get my hair colored last night. I try to put it off as long as possible because I hate going to the salon. I hate having to chat it up with a stylist about plans for the weekend or the latest movies or best restaurants. Maybe if I had a stylist who was a friend it would be ok. But I always go to different people because I make appointments at the last minute in accordance with my last minute schedule. I also hate having to sit around in a salon for two hours when I could be outside enjoying the park or a bike ride. It just seems like such a waste of time for simply … hair!

But as you can witness from the pictures above, my daughter does not share in my dislike of salons. She rather enjoys the idea of putting your feet up and getting pampered. Jon dropped Ri off at the salon while he took Mario to football practice. She made herself right at home chatting it up with the stylist about her tattoos, hair color and the reasons for different types of brushes.

She asked if she could get her hair done while I waited for my color to soak in and I agreed. She got the royal treatment – shampoo, head massage, cut, and blow dryer. She loved sitting under the blow dryer while reading Elle and Vogue. She perused the newest fashion (always opting for the mini skirts or tight pants, of course).

But just as I gave up hope that she was truly my child, she walked over to me as I was getting my hair blown dry and asked “can we go yet?!”

Yes! She is my daughter! She can only handle so much salon life before she’s ready to hit the road. We headed out to the 65 degree weather and walked home together talking about where we should go for dinner and if we should stop at DQ for dessert. Now that’s definitely my daughter taking after her mama!

Determined to bike (and be near family).

My boy didn’t give up all day Sunday. He sat on his two-wheeled bike, adjusted the pedal so that it was at the northern-most direction, placed his foot on it and rode until the pedal went a half of a turn to the southern-most direction; and then threw both his feet down on the ground to stop himself.

He started the process again. And again. And again.

Every time Jon and I would try to hold the back of his bike to give him a little push to get him started, he would berate us and push our hands away.

“I can do it myself!”

He’s a determined little sucker. He wants to accomplish things on his own. But he also wants you to watch his every move while he works on them. And if you don’t, he lets you know. At football on Saturday, I coached Mario after a play he made telling him to make sure to run after the ball. He darted over to me on the sidelines and yelled “you weren’t even watching me, mom, so don’t talk to me because I don’t have to listen to you!” (I had been listening to Maria read me a book during his play and had not had my undivided attention on him).

A tad bull-headed.

But being bull-headed has its positive side. Mario was not going to let Monday roll around until he could pedal a few turns without falling. Jon and I took turns watching him start and stop and start and stop and start…. Maria tried to coach him, too, instructing him to get a running start before putting his feet on the pedals. He actually listened to her and tried it but clearly felt like that move was a little too risky for him.

Nonetheless, by the time we went inside Sunday evening, he was able to pedal three or four turns before falling to one side. On Monday evening, he was able to go up or down the driveway before screeching to a halt. Jon and I watched with pride and amazement as he biked from the mid-point of the drive to the end. We cheered and roared as though he won the Olympics.

Tonight, he biked on the sidewalk of our street. He cranked out three or four house lengths before rolling into the grass and starting over. Incredible. Just last week Maria complained about Mario never wanting to try the two-wheeled bike and Mario was adamant that he would not give into her complaints. He had no desire to ride a bike sans training wheels. But something or someone changed his mind on Sunday and now there is no turning back.

Yet another milestone achieved. A milestone that pushes him towards independence and self-sufficiency. After all, once you can bike, you can go anywhere (isn’t that a Dr. Seuss rhyme?!).

Why is it that the mind understands that these babies of ours need to grow up but the heart so desperately wants to keep them young?

I stood and watched his tiny determined face as he situated the pedals just right and took off down the sidewalk. My little munch was not so little any longer. Five years old and riding a bike and playing football and operating a computer. He’s set.

I can only imagine the short amount of time it will take before he begins begging to ride to the next street over, then the next, and then even further away. But for now I will soak in his response when I told him that he was an official two-wheeled bike rider:

“This is great mom. Now the whole family can ride two-wheeled bikes together.”

Always thinking of his family – my sweet biking son.

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Down at the river

The bike trail led us to our rocky alcove along the Scioto River where we have planted ourselves on Sunday mornings for years. It provides a refuge from the traffic and the noise and the bustling of people grabbing coffees, grocery shopping or heading to church.

Ri and Mario transcended down the rocky bank towards the river staying alert for unique rocks. Mario threw a hefty stone in the water and watched the splash. He continued to find rocks progressively bigger in size to see how much bigger his splash would be. Maria hunted for rocks for us to take home for our garden.

I had considered trying out a new church today. I hunted for a few on the internet last night while the kids slept. I struggle with the feeling that we should have a gathering place on Sunday mornings where we worship beside others and sing songs and reflect. Jon and I have not put our energies in our local church for numerous reasons; the number one reason for me being that I feel like it’s hypocritical. I believe in women leaders, gay rights, womens’ choice and the church, at least at the highest ranks, does not. The non-denominational churches I found last night seemed promising but I still feel hesitant. And as I stood on the bank of the Scioto watching M&M, I couldn’t help but notice how joyful and soulful and grounded I felt being outside amongst the trees and water and birds.

When we walked together along the path and paused to watch a brown and yellow-spotted butterfly flutter around a bunch of flowers, I was grateful for the quiet moment with my munchos.

We came upon a part of the trail that had a clearing leading down to a wide patch of lily pads. When we passed the last large oak and the sky opened up, we saw all of the lilies spread along the river. A couple of ducks swam through them. The kids stared at the scene and Mario tried out his duck calling sounds (hilarious). Maria tried clapping to a beat to help Mario but still no ducks came our way.

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On our way back to our stroller, Maria spotted a buckeye on the ground. Then another. We were under a buckeye tree. Mario found a nut eventually and took much pride in splitting it in two. The buckeyes inside were so shiny. I hit a branch with a throng of nuts and it was like gold dropped from the heavens. The kids scurried around grabbing the nuts and piling them up. The nuts brought great joy especially when Mario packed them in his sweater pockets and acted like a pregnant woman.

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We laughed hysterically all the way back to the stroller as Mario kept “having babies” on the way back when the nuts fell out of his pockets. We dropped the nuts off at the stroller and headed down to throw more rocks in the river before riding home. Maria chimed “you need to take our river picture, mom!” We have a tradition of getting pictures at the river with each season. Fall is not technically here but it felt like it this morning at 50 degrees.

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We left the river two hours after arriving – a tad longer than we would have been at a church – and felt all the more rejuvenated and full of spirit as we eased into a Sunday afternoon.

Chuck E. Cheese – Vegas for kids?!

I keep thinking back to this week to figure out what I did to deserve the hell I am in this afternoon.

Two full hours at Chuck E. Cheese. With what seems like multiplying kids. And even more multiplying screaming, irritated adults. And they advertise this place as fun?! I guess it is to the kids who they advertise to but they really need a warning to parents that you need to take a relaxant before stepping foot inside or you may think about walking right out to the interstate.

My only memory of Chuck E. Cheese was as a seventh grader in Pleasant Ridge. We had a Chuck E. Cheese down the street and it hosted “Tween” night on Friday nights. My girlfriends and I would put on our sweet jeans with safety pins up the side hems (to make them tight) and our fancy shirts and head out to dance to the pop music blaring from the mices’ mouths. Creepy? Sure. But we knew nothing better.

Now I only know Chuck E. Cheese as an over-the-top, loud, raucous, mind-numbing, dizzying land where even some adults floor me with their intensity for playing more, More, MORE!

Maria is loving just being with her girlfriends. She has a group of gals she loves to play with at school and they are all here today to celebrate a birthday. They are playing Guitar Hero and random sweet, calm games (bowling and froggy jump).

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Mario, on the other hand, is utterly overloaded. Too many games and videos, and stuff. He doesn’t know which way to go next. He loves the shooting games, especially zombie ones (he must know they are coming soon!). He adores skee ball just like I did as a kid. And he has taken to a pirate game. What am I saying? He’d pretty much play anything here and like it. And he is of course all into getting the most tickets.

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After I settled into the noise and chaos and had a couple of slices of pizza, I found myself getting a tad more tolerant of it all. I put myself into the kids’ shoes and imagined the wonder and excitement they would obviously feel walking into this place. It’s like Vegas for kids. But the tolerance quickly faded after a 200 pound kid crushed into me as he chased after his friend to beat him to a video game.

Which way to the interstate?!

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Weeding can be fun?

We weeded the garden and raked the leaves for the second night in a row. How excited I was to get an encore from M&M!

I attempt to weed with them but every time I go to plant myself amongst the ivy or ragweed one of the kids yells “Mom, come look at how good I am doing!” I go to one of them and praise their work and the other shouts “Mom, come look at my work!”

They both did awesome jobs pulling up patches of weeds lining the border of the garden out back. Mario likes the tall weeds by the vegetable garden and Ri likes the short, stout weeds by the back fence.

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I have read all sorts of articles on gardening but have never really gotten the kids out in our back yard as much as I wanted. They helped plant the vegetable garden in early summer and they help place rocks around the gardens but don’t really dig in the dirt and weed or tend to the flowers. Why?

Probably has to do with their parents not doing too much! Neither Jon nor I have the “green thumb” of the family. We get things done to keep the yard and garden looking decent but our first priority on weekends has not been spending hours in the yard.

But I have to admit that it has been enjoyable and relaxing the last two nights to stay home and work together as a family on beautifying the yard. Maria is more and more into science so I could use this time in the dirt and flowers to learn about science. Mario has always loved to help outdoors and discover pill bugs and butterflies. I have been transformed. By no means a full-fledged gardener nut but at least more appreciative of the art and tranquility of the process.

We had to end the night with a leaf pile for the kids to jump in to celebrate our hard work and to commemorate the beginning of the end of Summer. It wasn’t gargantuan in size but still provided lots of laughter and smiles like any leaf pile should.

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Hamburger helper fix

Yesterday Jon and I came home from work to two wild, spazo kids. Maria and Mario were both hyped up – Maria from her first Brownies meeting and Mario because David picked him up early during nap. Maria screamed every word she said in pure excitement; Mario zipped from one room to the next like a pinball. Ahh, nothing like relaxing after a long day at work. But they do keep us going….

I made Maria’s new favorite dish, hamburger helper (at least I used 98% lean meat)! While eating, we discussed Maria’s laws as a new Brownie. As part of her homework, she had to write down which law applied best to her family. She chose “respecting each other’s words” over courage and helpfulness and kindness, among other laws. She picked it, she said, because she thinks it’s important for us to always listen to one another. I loved that.

Of course, Mario chimed in at the tail end of her explanation to stand up on his chair and make some funny face. He then told us how eight girls had crushes on him. One in particular, Viv, told him she thought he was cute because of his tan. There’s that tan reference again! In order to get him off the girl fixation, I asked him what he loves about his family since that was Maria’s next project.

He said he loved his mom because “1. she feeds me food; 2. she tells me she loves me; 3. she respects what I say; and 4. she reads me books.” Not too bad, I thought. He then leaned to Jon and said “and so does my dad!”

Maria was a lot less generous. She only had to write one thing she loved so she wrote that she loved my cooking (because of the hamburger helper that night!) and Jon’s ability to fix things.

Speaking of fixing things, later that evening Jon and I found a worksheet she prepared where she had to answer a question asking “when a person is sad, I BLANK.” She wrote in “I try to fix it.” I about fell over. For years, I have talked about the difference between Jon and I when it comes to approaching someone’s problems. I react by consoling the person and listening to them. Jon reacts completely opposite. He immediately gets the wheels turning in his head to try to fix the person’s problem. When I saw Maria’s answer, it affirmed yet again another personality trait she has inherited from Jon. Daddy’s girl.

After dinner, Maria wrote and decorated her Brownie star with what we discussed that evening and Mario wrote letters I randomly quizzed him on (he’s getting much better – yea!).

They both sat still for an entire half hour (must have been the carb overload in the hamburger helper!).

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