Sweet Mornings

Mario kills me. I know one day he will stop doing what he has been doing for the last few months but I hope it is far into the future because it makes my morning.  

Doll Baby BoyMost mornings I take Maria to school and Jon takes Mario.  Maria and I get out the door first since she needs to be at school at 8:10.  Nearly every morning, Mario yells “Mom” before I close the door.  I peek inside and he is holding his arms wide with his little boxers on and his baby skin glistening.  I run to where he is planted, and he gives me the hugest bear hug he can muster.  Then he plants a perfect peck of a kiss on my cheek.  He tops it off with a “Have a good day, mom.  I love you.” 

Really?  Does it get any better than that to start your day?  I know, I know, I can hear my friends with teenage boys now: “enjoy it while you can because pretty soon he will be sweaty and gross and not want you to talk to him.”  Probably true so I am making sure to plant these morning moments in my head so I can look back years from now and still revel in them.

Grateful you were first

Maria ran her first lemonade stand with three friends today.  She loved it.  She sat at the table with bags of popcorn for 25 cents and solo cups of lemonade for 10 cents.  The two boys ran out to the curb when they saw a car coming down the street and yelled “Lemonade for sale!”  Maria and the other girl at the stand, Nora, sat back and watched the boys.  All of the kids are in first grade but none of them are in Maria’s class.  I had asked one of the boys’ mom, Tess, to pick up Maria from school for me because I was stuck in Obama traffic at the university (Obama spoke at OSU today!).  Tess and I used to live three doors away from each other.  She is always there in times of need, which are not often but absolutely a godsend when they do occur. 

Mario idolized Tess’ son, Blake because Blake loves to play any sport.  Mario would see him in his front yard playing soccer and beg to go play with him.  Maria and Blake got along well when they were younger but as they have grown older, they have very little in common.  They weren’t in kindergarten or first grade together so there was even less interaction.   Maria did not know the other boy at the stand at all except seeing him in the cafeteria at school.  Maria is in girl scouts with Nora but they don’t interact much, either.   So when Tess texted me to tell me they were heading over to this lemonade stand, I wondered how Maria would do. 

Our happy girlWhen I showed up, she was beaming with the other kids.  She begged not to leave.  She ran around with all of them even though it was obvious that the three of them hung out a lot, and Maria was a “fourth wheel.” But she didn’t care a bit.  At one point, they all got popsicles and forgot about her.  She didn’t freak out, cry, throw a fit.  She just let Tess ask one of the boys if he could get her a popsicle and a few minutes later, he did.  She accepted it and ate with all of them, not holding any grudge.  I am amazed at how much she just goes with the flow in those situations.  Maybe it’s just a function of being young – you have less judgments about yourself, less hold-ups.  But I have noticed other kids her age who would not have been as comfortable as Maria around this crew so I do appreciate her ability to roll with it and have a good time doing it. 

And while I appreciate that trait in her, I do not appreciate her sarcastic mouth that seems to creep up more and more.  The other night I was talking to neighbors and she stood next to me.  Every time I told her to do something, she gave me some smart as- response back.  I pulled her aside when I finished with the neighbor and told her how much I disliked that talk.  Part of it is that she tries to be funny because that is how Jon and I can be funny so I can’t totally be appalled at her behavior but she has to know when she is going overboard and stop.  We don’t need Mario following in her footsteps since that seems to be his mojo lately.  Maria was on a kick where she would cry “I am a bad daughter!” every time we scolded her for a poor choice and Mario now does the same every time he gets scolded (at least he is smart enough to say “son”).  

Maria watching over her broAll in all, however, I really couldn’t ask for a better role model for Mario.  I still have an email that my dad wrote me when I was starting out in the practice of law.  In it, he wrote how proud he was of me for how much I had accomplished and how much I cared for my brother and sister.  He ended the note by telling me how glad he was that I was the first child.  I think I may be writing something very similar to Maria someday in the future.

Beauty Queens

Maria has a favorite little girlfriend at school named Janira.  She had been begging all weekend to have a play date with her on Sunday but time slipped away from us so I decided to surprise her and pick her and Janira up from Kids Club on Monday afternoon. 

Mairo and his beloved computerPoor Mario.  He went with me to pick the girls up and he asked while we opened the doors to the school “Why can’t I have a play date with Blakey?” Blake used to live three houses down from us at our old house and Mario loved him because he was always outside playing sports.  But Blake is 7 years old and is interested in boys his age much more than he is interested in a four-year old.  I explain to him that Blake may be busy with boys his age, and he just looks at me like I am speaking a foreign language (who wouldn’t want to play with me, mom?!).  I ask him if he wants to invite over boys from his preschool, like Ben or Grant.  His response is “Ben smells funny and Grant is too small.”  The most picky four-year old (or any year-old for that matter) I have met.  However, he quickly replaced his frown with a smile as soon as I told him he could play on my computer a while since Maria wanted alone time with Janira. 

Janira and Maria taking an ice cream sundae breakJanira’s mom is a make-up consultant.  She always looks impeccable.  Janira shares her mom’s love for make-up and fashion.  And Maria loves that about her.  Maria is enamored with Janira’s mom’s fashion sense – her tight jeans, her high heels, her jewelry (she begged me to wear high heels when I came to her school to read a book last week). When Janira and Maria get together, it is all beauty, all the time.  They are either playing barbies or painting nails or applying way too heavy of make-up.  One of their favorite activities when they are at our house is to do my make-up and paint my nails and dress me.  Janira’s mom would never let them touch her so I am the fall-back.  Maria knows I will do it if she just begs for 2.5 seconds.  When she gets older, she better remember this torture I went through for her.  Ok, so maybe it’s not that bad but I can think of a few other activities I would enjoy a bit better…. 

The girls came to get me for my appointment, and I headed upstairs with them to the Janira and Maria Beauty Store.  They described to me the different lotions they make themselves out of peppermint and vanilla and strawberry.  They detail the color of the lipstick they will apply and the numerous shades of eyeshadow that match my eyes.  Maria informs me that “Mary Kay” loves their products.  They are simply pros.  Even Katy Perry can’t stay away.  They put on three applications of lipstick, four shades of eyeshadow, blush, concealor, lotions, perfume.  They love spraying hair spray all over my hair using at least half of a bottle on my mane.  But I abide with the hope that I am nurturing their creative spirits (and Janira hooks me up with really good make-up when I get old and she owns her make-up studio (Maria will visit her when she is on the road between corporate engagements).  ALl in all, I must love Ri completely to let her do this to me:

Putting on my "fish" face for Mario while I sport my sweet hair and make-up

 

 

This Morning

This morning brought us:

  • Dad
  • Laughter
  • Wild Kratts
  • Double Stroller Running 
  • Timbits
  • St. Patrick’s Day Green Sprinkled Donut
  • Light Rain
  • Magnolia Blooms
  • Daffodils
  • Squirrels
  • Olentangy River
  • Rocks
  • Deer Prints
  • Woodpeckers
  • Mario’s Heron
  • Geese
  • Toes in the Mud
  • Hand Holding
  • Frisbee
  • Appreciation For Weekend Adventures

Packin’ It In

Maria and GracieWe headed out of Cincy on Friday night with Cheez-Its, Diet Coke, and apples.  We were set for our rush hour drive down I-71.  Half-way through the trip, I found a kids size bag of M&M’s in my side pocket so all was good.  The kids watched Tom & Jerry and Maria drew pictures as she glanced up at the tv.  We burst into my mom’s house in record time; traffic was surprisingly light on the way down.  After playing on the treadmill for a few minutes, and eating some Girl Scout cookies, we headed over to Julie’s to pick up Gracie for a park trip.  Gracie is about the cutest little thing possible.  I venture to say that she may even compare to my munchkins when they were her age.  You must want to eat her up.  She loves her “Aunt Mary” so I get big hugs and kisses when I come over. 

Liz let Gracie come to the park with us while she picked up Laura and they got pizza for dinner.  Liz warned me that Gracie would not want to ride int he stroller but I told Liz that Gracie had never seen the “Cadillac” of strollers before.  Sure enough, when Gracie saw the BOB, she hopped right in it as comfortable as can be.  Maria strolled Mario and Gracie nearly the entire way to the park (she loves playing mom).  Maria took control of the climbing wall, as she always does.  The girl may just be a professional climber one day.  She has amazing upper body strength and she scales up the wall like she’s spidergirl.  It is awesome to see.  It’s funny how she likes these “untraditional” sports like rock climbing and frisbee while Mario enjoys the more “traditional” sports like baseball and basketball. 

The kids tried to find frogs for me in the stream but had no luck.  They did get plenty wet though.  Maria likes to go off on her own and “think” as she puts it.  I keep a distant eye on her but she does enjoy her space.  Mario feels like he has to do the same so he announces that he is going off, too, but inevitably within two minutes he is calling for me to show me something.  I like how they feel comfortable enough to go out on their own (just as long as they tell me first!).

After the park, Liz and Laura graced us with LaRosa’s pizza.  The best pizza ever.  We ate at Julie’s house, and Mario ate three pieces of pizza.  I almost fainted.  He has a little appetite lately.  After dinner, the kids went downstairs (Julie’s basement is the play area for the kids and is heaven-sent).  Liz and Laura and I got some alone time to talk, which was also heaven-sent.  I love their love for family and their respect for who I am.  The two of them are a lot more strict in the discipline area and tend to lean more conservative than me, but they have a respect for how I raise M&M, and we have a healthy dose of ribbing with one another on our parenting styles (Laura is like a second parent to my kids and Grace).  

We all traveled over to my mom’s for a viewing of “Babies.”  My girlfriend had recommended it to me and I was excited to think of watching a movie that wasn’t animated or geared towards four-year-old boys.  The movie turned out to be a delight, especially with Liz and Laura’s quips here and there.  It is about four babies growing up in different parts of the world – the San Fransisco, rural Mongolia, Tokyo, and Africa.  It follows them pre-birth to age 1 or so.  The movie does a great job showing the immense differences in the cultures.  The only constant is the breast-feeding mother, and the cats.  Each house had a cat that provided pleasure in one form or another to the babes.  I found myself getting a tad annoyed at the San Fransisco mom.  She did a lot of the activities that I did with M&M but putting her up against the other mothers made the things the SF mom did look ridiculous.  In one scene, the SF mom was in a class with her baby where they were listening to African music and waving their hands back and forth overhead in a dance-like motion.  The baby stands up and makes a bee-line for the door.  “That’s right, get out little one,” quipped Laura, and we all laughed.  After seeing the African women with their babies sitting in the dirt, with flies swarming around them, with smiles on their faces talking it up amongst each other, it was hard to take seriously the group of five white parents trying to sing African songs with their babies.  However, I fully admit that it may be something that I would do with M&M to introduce them to other cultures’ songs.  The kids were intrigued with the babies.  They enjoyed certain scenes like the African baby eating mud and water from the ground, seeing the Mongolian baby taking a bath with a goat coming up from behind to drink his bath water, observing the Tokyo baby trying to put a toy together and getting upset each time she failed, and watching the American baby take a poop in her diaper (with all of those memorable “poop” faces).  They also enjoyed Laura’s and Liz’s comments throughout the film.  On the way home to Columbus, Maria and Mario made the same comments while watching the movie in the car.  What influences those girls are!

After the movie, we hit the sack.  The kids slept on the floor – Mario in a sleeping bag that he thought was awesomely cool and Maria in a regular blanket because she allows Mario to have what he wants.  She was actually burning up for some reason so did not want to be stuffed into a sleeping bag.  They slept until 7 am, which was a gift to me.  By 7:45 am, we were in the stroller heading to Marx Bagels for our bagels and cream cheese.  Heaven on earth.  Pumpernickel combo toasted burnt with cream cheese.  Maria has fallen for the strawberry bagel.  Mario eats a small bite of the raisin bagel.  After the bagel shop, we hit the pet store and found a floppy frisbee.  I was charged after looking at three different places in Columbus.  The kids have taken to frisbee but we lost our old floppy one and the plastic one I bought produces much pain when they fail to catch it and it strikes them.  Mario wailed the last time we used the plastic one, and now he is gun-shy with the floppy one. 

We headed to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in downtown Cincinnati at 11 am.  I had been looking forward to the parade for the last few days.  In all my years growing up in Cincy, I never hit the parade even though I lived in Clifton and worked downtown for years.  Also, the kids had never seen downtown since we always stop at the Blue Ash line.  I had big plans to go to Bicentennial Commons and the Riverfront but those were squashed after the long parade. 

Our Party GirlWe partied on Fountain Square for a half hour before the parade, and then found a goodLaura and me seat on Fifth Street (thanks to Laura pushing us along).  The parade brought much excitement, especially when the participants threw candy at us.  I scored a green cowboy hat, and Mario scored a fireman’s hat.  Maria got mega compliments on her green hair.  The kids loved the clown that was part of the parade.  He walked out in the middle of the road and dropped his pants.  They laughed so hard.  We loved the Irish dancers and the bagpipes. But after an hour and half (and hardly any candy), the kids got restless and we took off.  We were all exhausted.  Laura had to do round two with her girlfriends, and I had to get us home to Columbus.  So, it was definitely Energy Shot time and time to head home (only after we took a glance at our mom and mine’s old Clifton house and reminisced about our time living together).

The rockin' shirtWhen we got home, Laura surprised Maria with a rockin’ Big Time Rush home-made shirt.  It is nothin’ but cool with BTR on the front and ruffles on the bottom.  She looks too cute in it.  She got it a little muddy later in the day and she freaked out crying that her shirt was dirty (she never does that with any other shirt)!  Laura is a sewing machine and has started a blog, Finding Red Fern detailing her escapades.  Laura also has stored an inordinate amount of facts in her brain.  She has answers to anything – I mean anything.  It always amazed me when I was with her the things that she would know.   Maria has since picked up on this fact as Laura blurted out random facts during the Babies movie and then gave descriptions of things at the parade that only Laura would know.  When we were driving home, Maria questioned me from the back seat: “Why does Laura know so much and my mom doesn’t?”  Lovely. 

We played frisbee outside of my mom’s condo in the parking lot.  Then we played jump rope.  My mom bought a jump rope for her exercise kick and the kids became interested.  We twirled the rope as they tried to jump.  Again, Maria did surprisingly well.  Again,it is those random, non-traditional sports that she enjoys.  Mario did alright, too, but again, he is much more proficient at picking up a ball and bat.  We had to take the dogs for a walk before we left so we dropped by Julie’s to pick them up.  Maria always takes Butters because he is heavier and pulls harder.  Mario takes Willie because he is a piece of cake to walk and he allows Mario to do anything he wants. M&M love dogs, that is for sure.  They are very gentle with them and always patient. 

We finished up the day with a bath (and the duckies that the kids remember from times past) so they smelled fresh for the ride home (I almost passed out on the ride down to Cincy because Maria took off her shoes and her feet reeked!).  We arrived home to beautiful skies (it had called for rain).  We played outside the rest of the night.  Maria and Mario built a rock wall for me in the front yard and brought blankets and pillows out in order to be able to lay down.  I love that they engage in these activities. Anything outdoors makes me giddy.  When it got dark, I laid with them on the blankets and we found stars in the dark blue sky.  Not an easy task with the immense amount of clouds.  It was idyllic for about 5 seconds and then Mario shot up and jumped on me and acted like a monkey.  He could not sit still.  We lasted another 10 minutes before we packed it up and moved it inside for nighties and a book. 

As I unpacked our clothes (I pack as if I will be gone for a week for an overnight stay), I grinned.  Then I smiled, Then I smiled wide.  What a jam-packed St. Patrick’s Day full of new adventures and old ones.  The kids built a rock garden.  We ate bagels and cream cheese.  Gracie warmed us up.  We saw clowns and bagpipers. Butters and Willie let us walk them.  We learned to jump rope.  What a wondeful life we have.

You may be a redneck…

I was supposed to go to dinner with a friend tonight (that fiasco is a long story not to be told tonight) so I had Maggie come over to babysit.  She sent me this picture via text:

All I could hear was Jeff Foxworthy in my head saying “You may be a redneck if… you enjoy sitting in your bean bag on the sidewalk in front of your house.”

At least they were “reading” novels and not wrestling magazines (Mario’s favorite when we go to Kroger’s).  However, I now understand why Jon always gets on me about making them play in the backyard!

Let the Bikes Roll Out

Maria and Mario taking a break from their bikes

Let the bikes roll out.

Let the shorts be worn.

Let the convertibles lose their tops. 

It hit 70 degrees today, and life is good.

I could not wait to get off of work and pick up the kids.  I retrieved Mario first since he begged me to do so this morning and he is on the way to Maria’s school.  He has been discussing Superheros all week, and when I picked him up he had a red cardboard cylinder around his bicep.  I asked him what he was wearing.

“It is my superhero power shield. We all got to pick a superhero name and I picked GoldStar.  I have lightning that shoots out of my mouth and lasers that shoot out of my eyes.”

Maria hard at workAwesome, dude.  He says goodbye to his friends and we head to the car.  On the way to Maria’s school, we talk about superheros.  He loves to talk about Wonder Woman since I loved her so much as a kid.  When we get to Maria’s school, he leads me to her classroom.  The room is quiet with kids studying until Mario barges in and yells “Ria, mom picked me up first!”  He always has to get one up on her and I am surprised she doesn’t just belt him some days.  This morning she wanted me to take her to school so badly but Jon had to take her to get to work on time.  She cried for me (she was having a “I need mommy” morning) as she walked downstairs.  Mario stood at the top of the stairs and yelled to Maria “Mom is taking me to school – not you, Ria.”  If she would have thrown her shoe at him, I could not have said much to her.  He is a complete stinker. 

The StinkerWe left Maria’s school with Maria on my iPad and Mario on my iPhone.  We got home and I let them sit on the front steps playing with the electronics while I put things away.  It is so refreshing to open the windows and feel the breeze run through the rooms.  Fresh air, finally!  We got the bikes out to time Mario’s dash up the street and back and to try to help Maria learn how to mount her bike without falling.  We cooked sausages.  Jon came home and Mario darted down the sidewalk to greet him.  

We stood outside and watched the kids play.  We admired our work from Sunday – the garden looks half way ready to go and the windows look good with their screens.  Walking in the house and smelling the fresh outdoor air is a godsend.  And hearing the kids playing outside on the back deck brings gratitude for the upcoming Spring.

Character in my Characters

“Mom, I am Catwoman and Mario is Batman and you are WOnder Woman.  The Joker is following us and we need to escape.”

“Drive the jet faster, mom! We need to get away!” 

And that’s how our morning started.  I drove the Volvo jet down King Avenue in order to escape the Joker.  Catwoman kept an eye out and fixed my lasso while Batman made all sorts of plans for our get-away.  We didn’t watch any tv in the car.  Beautiful.  We arrived at the nursery having escaped all bad guys. 

I promised the kids that they could each get a small plant to put in their rooms.  I figured that such a gift was a lot healthier than a plastic toy.  I had read numerous articles about the attributes of house plants recently and hoped that it would get Maria and Mario jump started on green thumbs (I need all the help I can get with my back yard).  Mario spent the first fifteen minutes in the nursery frightening the fish in the pond by trying to reach in and grab their tails.  I ignored him for a bit but when the nursery employee kept giving me the evil eye, I told him to stop.  Maria played with the nursery kitty – a big ol’ plump tabby cat who let Maria carry her everywhere.  I found some pots to re-plant my grandma’s flowers from her wake, and waited for Maria and Mario to pick out their plants.  Mario chose a plain green one and Maria chose a green one with white polka dots.  They got their pots (Maria, red and Mario, green) and we headed home.  They took their plants out of the plastic container and re-planted them in their pots – so proud of doing it themselves.  Maria built a little “home” for her plant with a balcony and a hot tub and a bed.  Mario placed his on his chest.  They do add some life to their rooms.

By the time we finished that adventure, it was starting to warm up outside.  I enticed them to head to the woods with me by telling them we may find baby bunnies or eggs in a bird’s nest.  Of course, we found no such things but by that time, they enjoyed just running through the woods and climbing rocks.  I needed to be outdoors.  I have felt stifled for the last week and a half with grandma’s sickness and eventual death.  Even though I have gotten outdoors for runs with my sis or walks by myself, I have not been able to enjoy the sunshine and the songs of the birds.  My brain constantly wafted into a separate world – blurry and lacking much emotion.  I just got by for those days.  To actually feel some emotion again and the warm sun on my face was refreshing.  And Maria and Mario only added to the day by making me laugh again and again as we walked through the woods and played in the sand volleyball court and the swings.  

After my grandma’s funeral earlier this week, a few people approached me to comment about what personality Maria and Mario exhibited.  One commented at how they were both so spirited and happy; another commented on how outgoing and engaging they were; another at how confident they acted.  It naturally made me proud as their mama but it also made me happy.  And as we hiked up a hill full of sticks and mud, making jokes and laughing at one another, I remembered those comments, and felt such an intense moment of joy.  These babes of ours are genuinely happy creatures, not scared to take risks and adventures, ready to question ideas they don’t understand, comfortable in their skin, able to laugh at themselves.  They take our lives up a notch. 

Jon met us at the park and we watched them brave a climb up a huge rock.  

We didn’t say a peep. Just stood back and admired the view.        

 

I love you like a Love Song Baby

Watching Maria mouth the words of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream takes me back to my pre-pubescent years listening to Phil Collins and Air Supply on my 45s.  Or better yet, waiting to hear the love songs on Casey Kasem’s Top 40 so I could tape them onto a cassette to play over and over on the weekend. 

It is only in the last month that Maria has shown more of an interest in music.  First, Big Time Rush; then Justin Bieber; now Katy Perry and Selena Gomez.  She struggles to understand the words and produce a dance move while she sings but she certainly tries.  And it is doggone cute to observe her attempt it.  She does what I used to do a lot; sing a word that is not the actual word of the song.  She belts out “I love you like the Love Sun Baby.”  Meanwhile, her little brother stands in the background pretending to strum a guitar and mouth the words to the song – perfectly content not to have a clue what he is singing.  He just enjoys moving his body. 

I caught Maria the other day on my mom’s treadmill jamming it out to Ms. Gomez.  I had allowed her to start the treadmill and keep it at a low-level.  She had grabbed my mom’s CD player and headphones and inserted her Teenage Bop CD in it.  I saw the teenage Maria at that moment as she belted out a word here or there while walking on the treadmill and dreamily staring out the window in front of her.  I wish I could get into that brain of hers in those moments to listen to what she is thinking in that dreamy world of hers.  I am quite sure it is not how much she loves her mama….

My mother-in-law forwarded an announcement about Big Time Rush coming to Nationwide Arena in July. I can’t wait to take her to her first concert – I still remember heading to Prince with my mom in Cincinnati.  What a concert in which to begin my concert experience!  I think Big Time Rush will be a tad bit more subdued than Prince….

The Joys of Parenting A Daughter

I had not seen Maria since Friday morning when I dropped her off for school with the exception of a few minutes on Saturday afternoon between her return from a friend’s house and her departure to her cousin’s house.  I pulled into the driveway at 5:30 pm and she ran down the driveway yelling “MOM!”  What a marvelous feeling. 

I loaded her and Mario in the car to head to Wendy’s Gymnastics.  She asked me if she could run in the house and get a snack.  I told her I would head in with her (knowing that her snack may be a four course meal).  Indeed, she was ready to rip into another cereal bar (after eating one a half hour ago with the sitter).  I told her that she could have an apple or grapes rather than the cereal bar since we would be eating dinner right after the gym.  She looked at me in disgust and walked away.  I asked her if she wanted fruit, and she shut the door behind her.  Lovely.  When I opened my car door, I got the following pleasantry thrown my way:

“I can’t wait until you are away in Cancun. You can’t leave soon enough.” 

Even lovelier.  I gave her a sad face that I know she saw through my rear view mirror but it stirred no response.  When we got to Wendy’s, she opened her door, stepped out of the car, and marched into the gym alone.  Mario looked at me as I picked her up out of his seat and observed “She seems mad at you.”  He is a smart cookie.  He gave me his sweet Mario hug to make up for Maria’s quick departure. 

Once inside, she continued to ignore me.  I had a pack of Tic Tacs and I offered her a few.  She accepted and whispered “thanks, mommy.”  I didn’t press the issue any more.  I want her to feel that she can assert herself with me – without retribution or revenge on my part.  I am not going to give her grief for saying she wanted me in another country – she needs to be able to get her feelings out (although there are times that it takes me biting my lip to near bruising to avoid saying something to her I will regret (and sometimes I say it anyway and slip up; I am human after all)).  I will draw the line if she cusses me out or behaves like a crazy woman but other than that, I am going to let her process her feelings. 

About a third of the way through gymnastics class, she waved me down and motioned for me to watch her jump off the balance beam.  I did.  And I gave her a thumbs up and a standing ovation.  She smiled at me. 

All is good.