Tag: Maria

Field Days

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Maria walking to school on field day

Maria had a field day today at school.  She got to go outside on the playground in the morning and play random games (Memory, tictactoe) and draw with chalk all over the blacktop.  Then she was treated to a pizza lunch with chocolate milk and the Toy Story 3  movie in the afternoon.  During the movie, the kids got snacks and juice.  When she got home, she proudly declared “Mom, guess what?  We did not have to do any work today!” 

I remember field days during my days at Nativity school in Pleasant Ridge.  I remember walking across the street to the park and playing softball, competing in three-legged races, and eating lunch in the grass with my friends.  I remember being so excited about field day because all I did was play, especially softball.  One year, I went to steal home and my teacher, Mr. Beiting, winged the softball towards the catcher and it hit me in the head.  Of course we did not wear helmets back then so I had a nice-sized bruise on the side of my head for a while.  But even with that hit, I continued to love to play. 

Maria running to school on field day!

Like her mama, Maria was most excited about hanging out with her girlfriends and not having to do any school work for the day.  I think she has had a really good first year of school with only occasional whining and crying about having to go (and those times were usually when she was absolutely exhausted).  In the beginning of the year, we experienced some drama with a couple of the other girls in her class (every girl wanted to be friends with one particular girl so when that particular girl chose someone other than Maria, Maria would get sad, angry, depressed and either completely close up or act out.  When she acted out, she further alienated the particular girl and the girl who was playing with her, which in turn, got Maria more sad, depressed, angry.  I finally convinced her that it was not worth her time and energy to worry about the particular girl – she just needed to go to school and make other friends and have fun.  It took a while to sink in but of course, as soon as it did, the particular girl warmed up to her because, after all, my daughter is beyond super cool. 

Ri is heading to Kids Club this year for two days a week.  We picked two of the funnest days – Monday and Tuesday.  Monday is pool day. They walk to the pool with their packed lunches and swim for a few hours.  On Tuesday, they go on a field trip ranging from an audobon center to an inflatable fun house, to a state park.  I think she will love those opportunities. 

I am actually extremely jealous and want to go on most of these trips with her.  I think they should have field days or field trips for parents.  Could you imagine going into work in your sweats and t-shirt, meeting up with your colleagues, getting in line, heading out the door, and walking to the closest park.  Once there, you take out your water bottle, get a drink, and head out to the green field for some dodgeball.  Next, you play a game of softball, and then you wind down with some Duck Duck Goose.  Lunch is PB&J with cheetos and a chocolate pudding.  After lunch, you resume activities getting more dirty, more exhausted, and more slap happy.  By the end of the day, you go home and think “What a great day – life is good. I have great colleagues, work is wonderful for letting us unwind, and I am ready to crank it out for my precious employer tomorrow.”  Imagine how much more positive we would be after one simple day like that. 

So, let’s start an on-line lobbying movement to enact federal law requiring one field day a quarter for employees –  mandatory game-playing, mandatory participation, mandatory letting loose.  I bet ya productivity would sky-rocket within six months.  A win-win for all!

Lettin’ loose on a Thursday afternoon

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My grandma has not been feeling well for a couple of weeks.

Work has been stressful and energy-draining.

The kids have been going non-stop with school and parties. 

I felt disengaged and needed to take a break from the normal routine.  I moved my meetings so I had a blank sheet on Thursday afternoon.  I picked Mario up from school at 1:15 just as he was laying down to take a nap.  When he saw me, he shot straight up in the air and asked “Are we leaving, mom?”  When I responded affirmatively, he leapt in the air, grabbed my hand, and shot towards the door. 

Mario concentrating on Wii

“Did you bring the bike, mom?”

“I did, little man.”

“Good, we can save energy!”  I have been trying to teach him about the importance of riding bikes and walking over taking a car everywhere and was happy to hear some of it was sinking in to his budding brain. We clipped on his Spiderman helmet and rode down the bike path.  On the way down the path, Mario turned his head around to me. 

“Mom, thanks for picking me up early today – it made me really happy.  We are going to have fun today!” 

Chalk that moment up for one to put in the memory banks.  The statement absolutely blew me away with the warmth and genuineness of it.  I let him play a game of Wii basketball when we got home while I packed our bag.  Yes, a bag for a three-hour stay in Cincy.  I packed an extra set of clothes, nighties, extra shoes, popcorn, pretzels, and ham.  Jon is still amazed at my strange packing habits but you can never have enough food – you never know when you might get a flat tire out in the middle of nowhere and be stranded for three days until discovered (even on a straight shot down I-71!).  My girl would not be able to live on berries. 

M&M with great-grandma

Mario and I picked up Maria an hour early from school.  We stopped at the gas station for gas, pop, and chips, and got on our way (this has been our routine since Maria was a baby – nothing better than a long road trip with pop and snacks!).  I promised the kids we would stop at French Park (the park I went to during my childhood) if they promised they would be good when we visited Great Grandma at her assisted living apartment.  It was strange to drive on the street I used to travel on as a kid.  Memories popped up in my head with each new block we passed.  French Park looked the exact same as it did when I was a kid.  We parked at the top of the first hill and walked down to the creek.  The kids hopped the rocks to the other side of the trail.  Maria found a set of stairs and we followed those through the enchanted forest with the overhanging trees and vines and the delicate flowers.  When we got to the top of the stairs, we noticed tracks from an animal.  Maria thought a dog, Mario thought a lion.  As we continued, Mario spotted a rabbit amongst the tress.  He was so proud of himself repeating to me every five minutes “I spotted a rabbit, mom!” 

After a few minutes, the kids decided that they wanted to head back down to the creek.  The thought of dipping their toes in the water was too enticing. 

M&M in the creek

We found a good spot to take off our shoes and socks, and we gingerly stepped into the freezing cold water.  The sun beamed through the spaces of leaves in the trees and the rocks seemed perfectly placed to lead us down the creek.  Maria tried to find frogs (for me) and Mario found rocks that resembled guns and acted like he was the captain of a boat fighting off pirates.  We threw rocks in the water (after trying to skip them with no luck (pee-paw is needed)) and splashed each other.  The kids had a blast.  When we headed back to the beginning of the trail, they both begged to come back to the park again.  I need to look for some good ones in Columbus – there is such a sense of gratitude and appreciation that floods over me when I hike and play in nature and I think it infiltrates the kids as well.  They were so good on the way to Great Grandma’s house and at her house, too.  It can be a battle to keep them under control in her apartment because it is so small and there is not a lot to do. But on this day, they played quietly with her blocks and balloons, ate their dinner, and stayed quiet while I talked with Great Grandma.  I did poke them a few times to make sure they were not aliens who had stolen my children. 

Deep in thought

We ended to trip with baths at Grandma Lolo’s house and a walk on the golf course.  The kids found 5 balls each, and were so excited to bring them home to show Papa Rod.  The ride home was even a positive because both kids fell asleep before home.  Maria fell asleep within ten minutes (as always). Mario watched Scooby Doo.  I kept hoping I would turn around and see him asleep so I could just put them both in bed when we got home and I could relax (otherwise, Mario gets his second wind and takes forever to fall asleep).  With about 20 minutes left to go, I glanced back to see if he had fallen asleep and saw that he had unclipped his seatbelt.  I scolded him and demanded that he re-buckle it.  He started wailing and could not get himself together to buckle up so I had to pull over and do it for him.  He cried and cried.  I held his hand for about a minute as I stood outside the car and looked down to see he was sleeping.

Girls and Slumber Parties

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Only 5 out of 7 girls showed up.  The gods treated me well last night.  

Maria and the girls dancing to Justin B!

Why did I decide to agree to host a slumber party for Maria and six of her kindergarten friends?  Because I am a sucka!  I remember back to the thrill of my b-day parties as a kid and I want Maria to have those same opportunities.  THen again, I think I fantasize about the b-day parties of my childhood.  I believe I had one party in 6th grade where we danced to Barry Manilow and ate cake and I am fairly certain got into a number of spats about who would sit next to who at the table and who would dance with who on the floor.  I remember another at my friend’s house at age 13 when I got teased the entire time about being on my period.  Maybe I have such fond memories of slumber parties because they should be the ultimate girl-bonding experiences.  A flock of young girls together in a room talking about our stories, boys, teachers, parents.  Maybe it is like childbirth where it hurts when you go through it (aka, talk about my period) but then long after the event, you are glad you experienced it.  Who knows.  The bottom line is that I agreed to host this soiree by my lonesome because Jon was smart enough to hit the road with Mario.  

At the craft table

Most moms I spoke to about the event nodded their head side-to-side and sighed invariably thinking “thank god it is not me.”  Amazingly enough, it was fun – a lot of work and refereeing – but fun.  The girls arrived at 5 pm with their mini-sleeping bags and princess covered pillows.  They sported huge smiles but hesitant moves as they stepped into our house for a full night away from their folks.  I had a craft table set up with glue and stickers and puff balls and paper and tiaras for them to create works of art for themselves and their moms since mother’s day was the next day.  A very smart move I learned a half of an hour later when they remained enmeshed in decorating their tiaras and making pictures for their moms.  I looked at my watch and thought “Sweet – a whole half of an hour gone already just with working on crafts!”

Preparing their dance moves.

Maria was the first to get antsy and ran into the living room shouting “Let’s put out our sleeping bags!”  Megan, Maria’s babysitter stopped by at that time and ended up staying for a while (thank god).  She must have had that babysitter antennae pop up and sense I needed assistance.  Sure, I could have handled it on my own but it was a godsend to have another adult body in the house to referee disputes, help with music, prepare barbies’ outfits.  Megan stayed long enough to watch the dance contest (Justin Bieber dancers versus Big Time Rush dancers) and allow me to start some pasta and garlic bread for dinner.

After the dance contest and some intense Barbie playing, the girls came down for dinner.  Everyone ate up the pasta (only one girl complained about the pasta and she got a PB&J sandwich).  I forgot about the garlic bread in the midst of the chaos of trying to referee who got to tell the next Knock Knock joke and woke up this morning to nine pieces of toast hardened in the oven.  The Knock Knock jokes always contained a reference to “boobs” or “butt” or “penis” or “poop” or “fart.”  I thought these words were only used in the boy purview….  They had each other cracking up throughout dinner, and were ready to head outdoors after they finished. 

Heading to get yogurt

The rain had slowed down so we got out the umbrellas and headed to the new yogurt shop, Orange Leaf.  I was hesitant to go there because I knew all of the girls would want to fill the humongous paper cups up to the rim and then put 2 tons of toppings on their creations.  I tried my hardest to police the yogurt and topping output but it was a lost cause.  I have been there before – my eyes used to perk open at the dessert bar at Ponderosa so I couldn’t deny them the experience of loading on gummy worms, skittles, brownies, fruit loops and oreos.  Maria, of course, had been talking all week about getting a mile high yogurt since it was her b-day but she went fairly easy on me.  Some of the other girls, not so much.  I walked out with a $30 bill for seven yogurts and with a pound of yogurt left over.  After about five to ten bites, each girl looked at me and pronounced “I am finished, Mary.”  Of course, what does the Grandma Menkedick in me do?  I put all of the yogurts together in two bowls and took them home to eat as leftovers.  I got one out after the girls began watching their movie, and about threw up with the foul combination of fruity pebbles, cherry brownie, mint chips, and skittles mixed in with pineapple yogurt.  What was a I thinking? 

My girlfriend, Amy picked us up in her big ol’ van when we were finished because the rain had moved from a shower to a downpour.  The thought of trying to get the girls home without someone ruining their shoes or getting a cold from the weather led me to agree to just throw them in a van and get ’em home.  Amy brought her son Zach who is in Maria’s class.  He is a fireball of energy and the house felt like I tornado was running through it as soon as all of the kids entered the door.  Poor Amy was ready to lose it.  I amazed her with my calm and my humor in it all.  I told her it comes with the territory when your family is as loud and rambunctious as my family was growing up in Cincy. 

Amy and I with the kiddies

Amy si an artist and she saved me by bringing tile and paint over to the house for the kids to make pictures for their moms.  Of course, they were all pumped up on sugar from the Orange Leaf so what was supposed to be a gentle process of dipping thumbs and fingers into paint to rub on the tiles became whole hands and feet thrown into the paint and smashed onto the tile.  Sans sugar, I think we may have had a less insane process and a more intelligible piece of art for the moms but hey…

After the wash-up, Zach got attacked by the girls for the tenth time but he took it in good spirits; in fact, I think he rather enjoyed it by his begging Amy not to leave.  Maria impressed me with her compromising skills when it came time for the movie.  She had really wanted to watch Barbie or Eloise but none of the girls took to those movies.  A majority of them wanted the Secret Garden – the one movie that I made Maria get from the library against her will.  Maria graciously allowed for that movie to be viewed after I spoke with her about being a host of a party.  She makes her mama proud. 

What a life!

We started the movie at 9:40, popcorn was ready by 9:50 and the girls were snug in their sleeping bags with their kernels of corn by 10 pm.  I wiped my hands clean and thought “Ahh, now to rest.”  Ha! My sweet Maria and her friend Anna were asleep by 10:20 but the remaining gals took advantage of no parents, lots of sweets, and an easy-going chaperone.  They ran around the house, they made more crafts, they ate more food.  11 pm came and went and they begged me to stay up until midnight.  I agreed thinking they would have to be exhausted by then. Midnight came and went.  I decided to clean up the downstairs (why do this with the morning bringing renewed chaos?) and let them stay up longer figuring they did not have much more gas left.  Finally, at 1:15, I made them go to Maria’s bed and close their eyes.  I literally had to stand next to their side to make them not speak to each other.  Finally, at 2 am, they were all asleep.  A miracle.  I slept downstairs on the couch because I was worried about one of them getting up in the night and escaping through the front door.  Can we say neurotic? 

After a restless night of sleep, I was awoken by Maria Grace who sauntered down the steps at 7:15 am.  Alana came

next and then Anna.  The other night owls slept in until 9 am.   We ate donuts and cinnamon rolls for breakfast and watched Barbie Diamond Castle until the moms showed up at 9:30 or so. Overall, I would have to say it was a success.  Maria had a great time with her new girlfriends, her girlfriends enjoyed going somewhere new and playing together, and some moms got to take the night off and relax. 

Amazingly, I didn’t feel too bad the next day.  A little groggy at first but nothing that donuts couldn’t fix.  However, the next slumber party will have a Barry Manilow dance-off.

Shout out to Moms

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M&M hanging with their mama

Mother’s Day is this weekend.  I hope for a few hours to veg alone either at Stauf’s or on a massage table or on a run along the river.  I hope for nothing more than a couple of home-made pictures from M&M telling me that I am the bomb and that I am super cool. 

I remember reading Anne Lamott’s piece on Mother’s Day (Why I hate Mother\’s Day) a year or so ago.  My girlfriend at the time was contemplating whether to have a child – she is a professional with a good job, husband, house, dogs and she is heavily involved in the community. 

In thinking about her dilemma, I thought about what M&M have brought to my life.  Can I imagine life without them now?  No way.  Could I have imagined life without kids before I had them.  Probably.  It would have allowed me to get more involved in the community, go to events I wanted to attend whenever I wanted to do so, get up in the morning and go for a long run, have more freedom to do just what I desired.  Now I have to adjust my schedule for the kids and give up on events and gatherings that I would otherwise be inclined to attend because I want to be with M&M (and when I don’t to be with them particularly, I feel obliged to be!).  I would never regret the decision to have my munchballs – they fill me with joy and amazement and good times – but I do believe that a person can decide to forego the baby route and still lead a fulfilling, complete life as Anne Lamott argues in her piece.  My girlfriend ended up going the baby route and she has her ups and downs and her frustrations like all of us moms do.  And I know that she does not regret her decision but I am sure there are those days that we all have where we daydream about all we were able to do in this world “pre-baby.”

Me and my girls with sweet baby Grace

I don’t mind the idea of a Mother’s Day celebration or any “Hallmark” celebration for that matter.  We lead such hectic lives that if it takes a special day to make us slow down to recognize the people who mean the most to us, why not?  Earlier today, I watched the newscasters on NBC became emotional when looking back at their moms’ presence in their lives.  As much as I wanted to roll my eyes at this manufactured sentimentality, I found myself thinking about the women in my life and feeling appreciation and gratitude for their presence in my life.  In the end, it is those moments we have throughout our days that keep us plugging along the bumpy road that life can bring us. 

I hope that my mom realizes how much I love her in spite of our battles throughout high school and college.  I now look back at those spats and my anger and frustration and don’t see the woman I saw through my 17 year-old eyes; rather, I see a woman who was full of passion and wonder and yearning to try to find herself and the life that she wanted to live –

My mom and Ri

very similar to the struggle I face in juggling motherhood, my job, being a wife and a member of my community.  Now she has stepped into the grandma role helping me raise M&M and giving me a sounding board whenever I struggle with work issues or anxiety about whether I am damaging my children.  She has reinforced in me that I am a strong, intelligent woman, and she has always supported me.   

Meg and Ri

      

I hope that my stepmom realizes how much I love her for sticking with our crazy clan during the roughest of times (me as a teenager and Sarah as a toddler – god help her).  Meg-pie walks to her own tune refusing to conform to any norm.  She exudes confidence and strength and has always provided support and comfort to me in the worst of times (between breaking up with my high school boyfriend to managing a rogue boss).  She has taught me to always question and to always wonder – as hard and taxing as it may be at times – it’s the only way to grow. 

Patty with M&M

I hope that Patty realizes how much I love her for being a warm, dynamic mom to Jon and providing him with the skills and compassion to be such a loving father to M&M.  Patty exudes energy and has a zest for life that challenges my energy (and we’re thirty years apart!).  She has gone to the limits for M&M taking them for days at a time and playing with them for hours on end.  She gives her whole self to her family, and never declines a chance to spend time with us.  Her spirit is infectious. 

Great Grandma!

I hope that my Grandma Menkedick realizes how much I love her because she is an amazing, incredible, persevering woman who has made a mark on me that serves me well every day of my life (my late Grandma Heile also serves the same role for me).  G-ma teaches me to be humble and gracious and to stand up for myself.  She is the first one to tell me that I need to tell my boss that I won’t work late hours; tell M&M that bedtime is at 9 pm and there will be no getting out of bed; and make my body take some rest time.  She keeps me in line and she reminds me of the power of living in the moment and appreciating the small things be it vegetables ripe from the field or watching late-night tv on the couch with a glass of coke and Pringles.

I have been lucky to have so many strong, energetic, passionate players in my life, many of them women. As Anne Lamott states:

“The main thing that ever helped mothers was other people mothering them; a chain of mothering that keeps the whole shebang afloat. I am the woman I grew to be partly in spite of my mother, and partly because of the extraordinary love of her best friends, and my own best friends’ mothers, and from surrogates, many of whom were not women at all but gay men. I have loved them my entire life, even after their passing.”

So on this Mother’s Day, I give a shout out to all of those women and the many others who have marked my life – thanks for bringing me the experiences that have led me to who I am today.  I love you all.

My baby girl turns 6

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Maria Grace turned 6 yesterday at 2:41 pm.  I still remember her birth like it happened this afternoon. I remember how nervous but excited I was to have her through natural childbirth, aka, no drugs.  Mom had me that way, Meg had Jackson that way.  I wanted to follow in their giant footsteps.  Actually, the thought of getting a needle as long as a pencil shot into my back and losing all sensation from the waist down terrified me 10 times as much as the thought of foregoing drugs.  

I got pretty cocky in the delivery room for a while after they broke my water.  The contractions were uncomfortable but tolerable.  I remember looking at my mom and Jon and bragging “this isn’t too bad.”  And within minutes after that brash declaration, the universe shifted in ways only a momma in childbirth can understand.  Excruciating pain.  Sharp wrenching cramps.  Uncontrollable urges to bear down with nurses chanting “do not push yet.” I kept thinking to myself “if I have to tolerate this for 30 minutes, I will die.”  Luckily, within fifteen minutes, the nurses told me I could lay down and start pushing.  I can only liken this to having a huge dresser laid on your pubic area; having someone remove it for a few seconds; and then throw it back on with a few more clothes and knick knacks in it.  I was relieved after hearing the nurses tell me to start pushing but only for a few seconds until I realized that the actual pushing was just as painful as the restraint from pushing.  And then to look up in the mirror on the ceiling and see that there really was a tiny human that was poking her “little” head out of my body.  Holy cr–! 

“Little” being the extremely relative word in this instance.  “Little” is what the head was an hour after birth when I had been stitched up and regained some of my senses.  “Little” is not what the head was when it was trying to poke through my body and see the outside world.  It was HUGE and OBNOXIOUS and CAUSING IMMENSE PAIN!  But the body is an amazing thing because as much as I hurt and wanted to stop pushing, I also pulsated with joy and anxiety in meeting my daughter who I had nourished and cared for the last nine months in her safe cocoon.  When I saw her head crowning, that joy drove me to push harder and harder until I heard the shrills of excitement from the bystanders announcing that a baby was on its way out! 

Maria, Alana and Mario rockin' it out on Ri's b-day!

 

And then she was bundled up in that hospital blanket and placed in my arms.  Jon stood by me looking down at us.  There she was with her dark eyes and her black hair and warm skin.  A little Maria Grace ready to dominate the world.  And 6 years later she is well on her way.  

Her style can be commanding “Uncle Jack, come stand HERE!”, or gentle “It’s ok, Baby Gracie, I got you.”  Her attitude can be sassy “Ok, dad, I get it – you don’t have to repeat it.” or sweet “Mom, you are the best mommy ever!”  

Maria makes her presence known wherever she travels through that loud booming voice of hers.  She has the Heile/Menkedick vocal chords.  Her favorite pastime is yelling just like she used to do as a baby in her crib every two hours of every night.  How Jon and I survived the first 15 months is beyond me (yes, 15 months before she slept through the night – we really need to be sainted).   Maria loves to take care of younger kids – the mother hen is alive and well in her.  No matter if it’s Gracie or Lucy or Maggie or Maura, she sits with them and shows them books or toys, she holds their hand when they try to walk across the room, she makes funny faces at them and makes them laugh, she pats their backs when they start to whimper.  She is a natural. 

Maria and her family

Maria and her family

Maria also loves to be around family.  She adores her grandparents who all bring something special to her life; she worships her uncles who even break down and play barbies with her; she frolics with all of her aunts and cousins who treat her like one of them and let her join in all of the festivities.  She especially loves her little brother who can be a pain in the butt at times between hitting her, pinching her, pulling her hair, waking her up, and sitting on her.  Nonetheless, she is always ready to squeeze and hug him when he allows, and she will protect him at all costs (we can never forget when Mario and her were in the bounce house and a boy tried to push Mario – Maria stepped in and pushed him back warning “Don’t hurt my brother!”).  She received the nickname “The Muscle” in daycare and  the name lives on as she gets older.  Her hugs can be lethal but always well-intentioned.

Trying out her new bike

She is observant like her daddy recognizing people’s goofy mannerisms or certain things in books or places that I would never have noticed.  She is wild like her momma running around and being loud whether it is at parties or at the house.  She likes to live life large.  She loves food and drink.  She is always ready for a loaf of garlic bread and pasta and meatballs, and could go without anything else if she had that plate at her side 24 hours a day.  Maria loves to help cook (which is a fascinating phenomena since her mama embarrassingly rarely cooks).  When we make pancakes or cookies or macaroni, she wants to read the box and add the ingredients and stir the food.  She looks forward to setting the table and having all of us eat together.  However, she is less fond of making a lot of conversation at the dinner table.  She is like her dad – there to eat and not to chat. She enjoys pretty dresses and beaded sandals but is still not hesitant to put her knees on the ground and dig for worms.  She loves to put on make-up but detests brushing her hair and wails at the thought of anyone else brushing it.  

Maria celebrating her b-day at school

She still climbs into bed at 6 am and snuggles her body up against mine; many times she lifts her head and places my arm under it (I always hated sleeping this way with boyfriends but with my daughter it is a joy!).  She adores her daddy and goes through serious withdraw when he leaves town for more than a couple of days.  He stands up for him when he is getting grief from me or another family member but quickly turns on him when Grandma Ionno is around demanding that she “take care of Dad because she is the boss and he is her son!”  She loves her mama as much as she loves her daddy but as it tends to be with mothers and daughters, it is much more emotional in nature.  She either thinks I am the greatest thing to hit this Earth or the most evil person to walk into her life.  I can only imagine how much more pronounced this will be as she gets older – teenage years are thankfully seven years away.

Ri giving me the bear hug

Maria exudes a spirit that few kids her age possess.  She is free and spontaneous and relaxed and aware and empathetic and magical.  I think she is the coolest girl on the planet, and I want to give her mondo kisses and lovin’ every time I lay eyes on her.  Luckily, I can still get away with doing that; I am certainly going to live it up while I am able.

Family, Ham and Chocolate

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Mario’s game face
M & M getting ready for the hunt!

I love Easter.  It is my favorite holiday for two reasons: (1) I adore chocolate and there is a ton of it between the easter egg hunts, the grandparents, and me splurging on it “for the kids’ baskets;” and (2) people seem to be more relaxed on Easter – less frantic about presents, meals, attire.  Easter comes right at the time of a new season – winter cold is gone and grass is turning green.  People are excited about being outside again. 

We celebrated Easter today out at the farm.  The forecast called for rain all weekend with strong thunderstorms at times.  When we woke up this morning, the sky was grey and dreary but had promise to it.  Patches of yellow and blue broke through in the sky, and I had a feeling during my morning run that we would be spared.  I was right.  The Grandview Easter Egg Hunt began at 10 am with soggy grass underfoot but no rain showers.  Maria’s nightmare came true when she heard that 5-7 year olds were grouped together (“I will never get as many eggs as 7 years olds).  However, she perked back up when she met up with her friend Anna and her grandma.  I stood with Mario in the 2-4 year old group coaching him about how to engage in the hunt (“pick up the eggs first – not the bags of oreos and cookies”).  He put his game face on after my speech, and anxiously awaited for the announcer to yell “GO!”  What comes over me and other parents at these easter egg hunts?  We are so competitive following our kids around the area pointing frantically at eggs that we see.  When the kid is looking in the opposite direction, we yell “Mario, look!  Mario!  Mario, over here!  Mario!!!”  Mario ended up with more eggs than Maria, which led to Maria frowning and complaining that she did not get “any” eggs even though she had three in her basket.  Her friend gave her two of her eggs, which led to 180 degree change in Maria who smiled from ear to ear.  the kids sat down to open their eggs, and Mario promptly gave me the first chocolate candy piece he opened.  What a doll.  I had told him how much I loved easter chocolate and he had told me that he would share his with me.  However, I was not going to believe it until I saw it.  And there it was.  He does love his mama!  Maria, on the other hand, gave me a stern look when I grabbed a chocolate chip cookie from her basket.  “Mom, this is my food.”  She is so generous when it comes to other things but not her food!

We rushed home after the hunt and hopped in the car to the farm.  Within five minutes of walking in the door, Maria and Mario and their cousins found the baby chicks.  Tiny and precious and so delicate.  Just what three and five-year olds need to handle.  But Grandma Meg managed to let all of the kids hold them without incident.  Mario chanted “Calm, calm” to the chick while he held it.  Maria acted like she was a vet while she held one asking me what was wrong with my baby chick.  They were infatuated at first sight.  Maria and Anneliese, her 8 year old cousin, played beautifully together.  Surprisingly, Mario and his three-year old cousin, Ben, also played together for the first time ever.  In the past, they were into their own things (and still at that young age where you don’t play much with other kids) but this time they were by each others’ sides for most of the day.  Ben would yell for Mario and Mario would run to him.  Mario would ask Ben to get something for him and Ben would get it.  They threw stones in the stream for 30 minutes and talked about being in the army while they rode the rocking horses.  They used croquet clubs as hammers and swords.  Boys.  Maria and Anneliese held the chicks a lot and walked Rosie and played in the stream.  Tomgirls – yeah! 

We ate yummy ham and potato salad and deviled eggs and corn casserole and butter rolls.  Patty’s potato salad won everyone over with people going up for thirds!  I swear I am going to enter her p. salad into a contest – it will undoubtedly take first place.  Desserts made my stomach larger just looking at them – brownies, cookies, shortcake, chocolate cake, lemon bars in addition to all of the Easter candy!  Oh, how I love this holiday! But, oh, how I wish I had some sort of will power.  I get on Maria about eating too much but then I stand around the table eating 3 brownies, cake, candy and cookies.  I blame those Menkedick genes that cannot resist chocolate (unless you are supernatural like my father).  My 91 year-old grandmother devoured the desserts just like me so I think I am doomed.  

The kids got to ride the horses towards the end of the day and then got treated to a stellar easter egg hunt.  There is part of me that still wants to participate in those hunts – I see an egg hiding in the fence post and I get so excited.  I was a damn good egg finder back in my day….  We finished up the afternoon holding the chicks some more and chatting with family that we don’t see as often as we would like.  Maria would love to have Anneliese closer and Mario and Ben would have a blast together now that they are the ripe old age of three.  Grandma M. is strong as ever, carrying on conversation and watching the kids play.  I wish I lived closer to her so we could see her more often even though she even states that having M&M over any more often would seriously wear her out.  She has got to be kidding – my kids are little angels…! 

In sum, a great start to a holiday weekend.  The farm is a gem, and Meg did an awesome job hosting us all.  Dad did an awesome job entertaining the kids (even though he allowed Mario to fall in the stream!).  And the rest of us just soaked in the beauty of a wet Spring day.

Out on the town with Ri

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My girl

I rushed home tonight to get ready for a fund-raising event on behalf of the New Directions Career Center, a local non-profit agency that helps individuals get back on their feet and pursue careers.  I decided to bring Maria with me for two reasons: none of my girlfriends were available and I continue to try to open Maria’s eyes up to giving back to the community.  When I opened the back door to the house, Maria came running into the kitchen commanding me to get upstairs and get ready!  She wore a plaid dress with two beaded necklaces, multi-colored flower leggings, a purple ring, and silver sandals.  Her hair was loosely tied back in a ponytail with a black headband.  My hippy girl. 

However, as much as she dresses herself in flowy, hippy, non-traditional clothes, she does not enjoy the same for me.  She wanted to pick out my clothes for me, and since we were going to a fund-raiser where I would not know too many people, I thought “what the heck.”  She chose a short orange dress with leaf prints on it that I had bought for Cancun with Jon and a pair of black open-toed heels.  I felt ridiculous.  I am just not meant to wear such clothes.  My body yearns for a pair of sweats and a T.  But I did it for Maria because she loves getting dressed up and this was her night with her mama.  On our way to the car, Maria yelled to the father two houses down “Andy, do you know where we are going?” He asked where and she replied matter-of-factly “to the bar.”  What a nut.

We got to the event, and she held my little red purse as she strolled into the event like she was one of the guests of honor.  We ate a White Castle hamburger (she hated it; I devoured it) and then moved onto the buffet bar.  She needed to get her tummy full before we moved to the silent auction.  She grabbed a large plate and a small (asking me to hold onto the small one until she was ready for it).  Christmas came early for her this year because low and behold on the buffet bar was meatballs!  I was 99% sure there would not be such creatures at this event but had not told her this for fear she would have declined my invite.  She poured four meatballs and sauce on her large plate.  Next came a ladle of ranch dip with two broccoli heads and 5 crackers (dipping crackers in ranch – to die for!).  I made her get some fruit, and she obediently grabbed a grape and a small piece of pineapple in the shape of a football on a stick.  We sat and ate and people-watched. 

Maria caught with more ranch dip and veggies

After our meal, we began our way around the rooms to look at the silent auction items.  Maria found a cupcake gift box with cupcake mix, aprons, a cookbook, sprinkles, cupcake stuffed animal, and cupcake holders.  She wanted to buy it.  I explained the bidding process and told her that the gift retailed at $100 and the last bid was $40.  She wanted to put down $120.  Oh, does she remind me of Jon more and more.  Her reasoning was the same as Jon’s too: “I want this gift and I will pay what I need to pay to get it.”  She innately understood that if she put $45  she would probably not have a chance.  An antique shopper in the works.  When I told her she could go to $60, she shook her head and mumbled under her breath, “we won’t get this one.”  She loved the thrill of putting the money number down on the sheet.  Every time I told her the price we’d offer, she put a higher number.  The girl likes to spend.  By the end, we bid on eight items, three of which I think we have a strong chance of winning (we ended up returning to the cupcake gift and putting down $120 since it had gone to $100). Hey, it goes to a great cause. 

We stopped for one last round of veggies and crackers and dip and headed out as they were doing a live auction for a trip to South Africa.  Oh, what I would have given to bid on that trip.  I should have just gone for it (Maria raised her hands numerous times, and thank goodness the auctioneer could not see them (even though I should have just let her overpower my risk-averseness )).   As we walked back to the car, a director we had seen in the beginning of the night asked Maria if she wanted to volunteer for the organization, like become a guest speaker.  Maria nodded her head “no.”  She stated “I have a play date tomorrow so I can’t.”  The director laughed and got in her car.  I asked Maria if she would volunteer when she did not have a play date.  “Mom, I will do it when I am 20,” she replied.  I retorted “you will volunteer a lot earlier than that, Ms. Thing.”  She threw the “Oh, mom, whatever” look at me to which I promptly turned around and tickled her until she begged me to stop.  

As we drove home, Maria asked when we would “win” our prizes from the event and I explained that they would have to review the sheets to see who had the highest bid. Maria immediately warned me “We better have bid high enough for those cupcakes, mom….” 

 

 

 

Peace and quiet by adding more kids to the house?

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Jon and I stood at the kitchen island on Friday night with those looks of dread that come over our faces when we know we have an entire weekend with the kids with nothing planned.  How sad, I know.  I am used to running down to Cincy or heading up to Marion or Dover or trucking it out to the farm.  But strapping into the car seats every weekend has to tire the kids out and it also takes a chunk of change out of my wallet with the price of gas these days.  What happened to the $1.49 gas prices from my childhood (or was it $1.99? Whatever it was, it was a world of difference compared to today.).  What is worse is that the weathermen had predicted rain for all of Saturday.  One of my worst nightmares is not being able to go outside all day. 

The threesome at the pool

Luckily, we had sporadic showers on Saturday but a decent amount of sun and almost a full day of sun today.  Saturday, Dad and Mario went on “boy errands” which ironically consisted of dropping clothes off at the dry cleaner.  This activity was tempered by a trip to Home Depot.  Maria and I stayed put around the house reading her school books and playing the ice cream game and Fancy Nancy Go Fish card game.  We ate popsicles.  When the boys arrived home, I bargained with Jon – if he let me go to Stauf’s for a couple of hours, I would take the kids to the indoor pool.  Deal. 

Every time I take the kids to the pool, I develop a huge headache from the pull of Maria and Mario throughout our entire time we are at the facility.  Mario wants me to watch him “swim” and go down the slide; Maria wants me to play beauty shop or hold her and go under the “waterfall.”  So, I had the bright idea this time around to invite a friend for Maria.  Genius – no headache and lots of fun for Maria.  We brought Maria’s friend, Anna, another boisterous and daring girl like Ri.  Mario likes Anna, too.  He always has something to tell her (“Anna, do you want to see my power ranger…” “Anna, I like your bathing suit…”). 

Maria and Anna playing catch (with Maria "catching" Anna the first round!

Maria and Anna played the entire two hours together – I was only needed to take them to the lazy river and the whirlpool, which I did twice until Mario turned blue from the cold water in that area.  He rightly refused to go back a third time.  Mario enjoyed Anna’s presence, too, because I got almost all of his attention (he just wanted to me to fight the fountains with him by using my hands as swords and cutting through the shooting water – I am convinced he can take any object and find a way to fight it). 

Mario and his fountain

Maria and Anna went over to their friend’s house, Zach, after swimming.  Zach’s mom (who I adore!) made them tacos and they played hide-n-seek.  Maria came home at 8 pm zonked.  Beautiful.  Anna came over again today and the girls played at the park and up in Maria’s room with her barbies for two hours.  Peace and quiet for Jon and I to finish seeding the lawn (Mario played an hour of Wii basketball). 

Maria has always wanted me to do everything with her.  If I have to run errands, she wants to come.  If I want to take a run, she wants to come.  If I am going out with friends, she wants to be there.  So this very recent phenomena of playing with friends and not being attached to my hip is strange yet oh, so wonderful.  She needs her distance from me, and it has been challenging for me to nudge her away because I feel like I should be with her every waking moment since I work 40 hours a week.  These friendships allow her to see life without me by her side assisting her, and allow her to learn that she can do things on her own and with friends.  It also pushes me to work harder to distance myself from her to allow her to learn and grow.  One regret I have as a parent is that I did (and still do) too much for the kids.  It doesn’t keep me up at night – in the end I know they will be fine and they will know that I love them to infinity and back – but it is something that I would re-think if I did it all again.  They now rely on me for everything (“Mom, will you get me some water…” “Mom, will you find me a shirt to wear?” Mom, will you sleep near me until I go to sleep….”).  And as many times as I try to not do these things, I always end up doing them.  It is a hard habit to break.  So, I am grateful to Maria’s little friends for helping to push her towards more freedom from her momma. 

My girl playing in the sand

That being said, I pray to a higher power that Maria does not cease looking to her momma for love and support and hugs and kisses.  I can’t imagine the day that she looks at me as I lean over to kiss her and snaps “Mom, please stop!”  Those kisses and hugs bring way too much joy to my life to end them already.  There are some days that I long to get home just to squeeze her and Mario in my arms and plant 100 kisses all over their soft baby skin.  The moral of the story is that sometimes adding to the clan can be better – adding Anna this weekend allowed me more time to myself and more time with Mario.  Of course, Mario only wants me around to have a basketball opponent.  I am sure in a couple of years, he will have his boy friends over just like Maria has her girlfriends over, and then I will be staring at the walls as I sit in my dining room wondering what the heck to do with all of the time.  Ahh, I am sure I will figure out something even if it is simply staring at the walls as I sit in my dining room….

Seriously, non-fat??

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Chowing on yogurt

Grandview got a new addition to the neighborhood – a frozen yogurt shoppe called Orange Leaf.  The sign had been placed in the store window for months before it opened and Maria and I continuously eyeballed it every time we walked past to go to Giant Eagle.  After months or anticipation, the shoppe opened without much fanfare on a weekday night.  The walls are a bright lime and the seats and tables are white and orange.  They have a pinball machine that is free.  Mario’s favorite.  They have over ten different flavors to choose from but why anyone would get anything other than Brownie Batter and Peanut Butter is beyond me.  I am still appalled that my own daughter gets vanilla out of all the flavors to choose from!  And, all of the yogurt is either non-fat or low-fat. 

Marios yogurt dish

What else can that remind you of but the Seinfeld episode from back in the early 90’s where Elaine and Jerry fall in love with frozen non-fat yogurt until they notice that they are gaining weight.  They test the content of the yogurt after Elaine’s boyfriend notices that she is gaining weight, and discover that it has loads of fat in it.  This has got to be the case with the yogurt at Orange Leaf – it is just too good.  Or maybe the fat enters the picture when you dump a pound of Butterfinger and crushed Snickers into your yogurt dish.  Just maybe….  

Our favorites: Maria gets vanilla wafers and graham crackers on her vanilla yogurt; I get M&M’s, butterfinger, oreos and/or snickers; and Mario gets plain chocolate yogurt with no toppings.  All I can say is that this Orange Leaf shoppe is going to be very dangerous this Summer.  It is only a few blocks from our house.  The only deterrent is that it can be costly.  Maria inevitably puts a load of yogurt in her cup (the other down side is they only have one 16 ounce size which is huge for a five-year old kid), and, I can’t help but load mine up because I always seem to go there after a hectic day (which is more or less everyday!). 

The gals being silly

It has already become the “after school” place for kids to go.  When we visited yesterday with Alana (I picked the girls up from school and left work early), there were 20 middle school kids in the shoppe spending their parents’ moolah on gummy bears, coconut yogurt, sprinkles and skittles.  The owner had a big ol’ grin on his face thinking about this profitable trend.  I can just picture Maria in that shoppe after middle school making her yogurt sundaewith her girlfriends talking about her teachers, boys, and oh, who I am kidding, more boys…!  Mario, on the other hand, may hit the place after the last of his three ball games.

Mario ready for the season

Skipping

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Maria and Mario skipping on the street

I had a crazy, busy, erratic, hectic, irritating day yesterday at work.  I ate way too much sugar, drank way too many diet colas, and moved way too little.  I got in my car to pick up Mario at 5 pm and on the way to the daycare, I stewed about all of the crappy things said and done throughout my day.  I walked into the daycare to find Mario lined up ready to go outside.  He didn’t notice me at first but when he heard me question “Where is my little Mario?” he immediately turned his head and ran to me while exclaiming “Mommy!” 

The brain is a marvelous, fascinating organ.  Upon seeing his eyes widen and hearing the words “Mommy!” come from his tiny mouth, all of the anger and irritation I had stored up from my day washed away.  I could have just woken up from a night of deep sleep or just gone on a refreshing run.  The pleasure and serenity of holding my child in my arms blew my entire crappy day to pieces.  If only Mario would not flip out whenever I came to his daycare to simply say “hi” throughout the day – I could recharge my body and mind by dashing over to the daycare and getting that warm reception from him every three hours.  The same is true for my Maria.  When I walk in the door from a long day at work, she almost always greets me with an emphatic “Mom!” and comes running in the kitchen to embrace me with her strong Maria-hug .  Whoosh – all the absurdity and madness of the day carried away with that 5 second squeeze. 

Giving each other hugs

Tonight, the kids and I took a walk up to the new yogurt store.  The night air brought a chill so we bundled up in our jackets (which I had almost stored away after having a full weekend of 70 degree days) and made our way out the door.  Maria darted off up the street, which is Mario’s new irritation.  He detests when she runs in front of him.  She is usually pretty good about stopping and waiting for him if he yells “Wait Sissy.”  Something about the word “sissy” grabs her heart.  He yelled the magic name as she ran up the street and she stopped.  He caught up to her (those little arms and legs pumping away!) and tugged at her jacket. 

“Maria, I know what we can do.  Let’s skip.”  And then, there it was – Maria and Mario skipping up the street.  I could not have ripped a more beautiful scene from the pages of the Evening Post magazine.  My heart expanded twenty-fold and if it exploded, it would have strewn multi-colored confetti everywhere.  Weirdo, heh?  I mean, really?  Who has not seen kids skip down the street?  Ahh, well, there is no control of the heart, and mine chose to fall in love with the sight of my daughter and son skipping.  The peach sunset and white blossoms didn’t hurt to set the scene either.  Those moments I am so grateful for because they keep me grounded and focused on what matters in life.  Skipping.