Tag: Mario

Forgiveness

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Jon and I have been ridiculously stressed about the possibility of purchasing a  new home.  We have been wheeling and dealing with the sellers for about a month, and a deal is now coming to fruition.  And, of course, we are second-guessing it all.  Very normal reaction, I am sure.  You get attached to your home.  Jon and I spent our wedding night in this house.  Maria and Mario came to this home after their births.  Cy and I took off on our long runs from this house…. 

Lovin' the tub

Our realtor/neighbor Dave came over two nights ago to talk to us about moving forward with a final bid that would seal the deal.  We sat on the porch with him biting our nails and asking a lot of questions.  Maria and Mario played in the bath tub upstairs.  They yelled for me to come up within two minutes of the start of our meeting with Dave.  I ran up and threw them some barbies and toys to play with in the tub.  I ran back downstairs. 

Dave had just started talking about inspection companies when I heard Maria scream for me to come up again.  I ran up and Mario had put soap in his eyes.  I grabbed a wash cloth and helped him rub the soap out.  I ran back downstairs to hear the tail end of Dave’s thoughts about an appraisal. 

Three minutes later, Mario yelled for me.  I ignored him.  Maria yelled, too.  I ignored her.  When they both screamed, Jon and I decided that maybe one of them was actually needing assistance.  I ran upstairs.  Water soaked the floor, the bath mat, the area around the sink.  They both pointed at the water and gave me a blank look. 

I reacted as any stressed, hungry, overly worked person would: I flipped out.  Lost it.  Yelled at them and slammed the bathroom closet door.  Told them that I could not believe how inconsiderate they were to get water all over the floor.  I stomped back down the stairs and out the door. 

The little rascals come through

Then I felt horrible.  Why do I do that?  Why can’t I just take a deep breath and walk away?  As I sat on the porch listening to Dave and Jon, I saw the front door open.  Within about ten minutes, out walked Maria and Mario all clean and dry and in their nighties.  Tears automatically flowed from my eyes.  I scooted them back in the house on the couch and sat them down. 

“I have to tell you both something. 

Thank you.  Thank you for being such wonderful children and for knowing that mom was upset and for doing your best to make things better. Mom has been really tired and stressed lately and sometimes I take that stress out on you.  I don’t mean to do that.  I love you both very much.” 

We hugged. 

“Will you both try harder to not get the floor so wet?”

“Yes, mom, we promise.”

We hugged again.

My babes

I walked back outside with them.  They played hide-n-seek and Jon and I finished up with Dave.  I sat on the porch watching them play soaking up the sweetness and sensitivity of their actions post mama-freak-out.  That one little gesture brought me back home – just what I needed.

Summer festivals

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In the tub!

The St. Christopher festival went live at 6 pm last night.  We arrived by 7 pm.  Jon and I grew up with catholic school festivals since we both attended catholic schools from 1st grade through high school, and we both have an affiliation for their festivals.  Gambling, beer, and duck ponds – does it get any better?  Maria and Mario will not be heading down the catholic school road because of Grandview’s awesome public schools but they can still enjoy the festivals – and boy do they!
 
As soon as we walked up to the gate, the kids spotted the rides and begged to head right to them.  The bouncy house has always been a hit with them, and it did not fail them last night.  Mario kept bouncing near a little girl in order to see her fall.  Wicked little guy.  I finally had to chastise him in front of all of the parents and he cooled it somewhat (until us parents went back to talking and I saw him inching closer out of the corner of my eye).  Maria climbed out with two more minutes of time left.  I asked her if she had fun and she responded “Yeah, mom, my hip just hurt.”  God, she is Jon’s child!

After the bouncy house, we strolled past a climbing wall (these festivals are going up-scale)!  Mario immediately ran towards it and the carni-man asked him if he wanted to try it.  Mario did.  I thought that he would scale up that wall in two minutes with as tiny as he is and as strong as he is but instead he stopped after the first foot hold scared to death.  He explained to the carni-man “I will do it some other time.”  God love him.  He chooses his risk-taking activities wisely.  I asked Maria if she wanted to try it and she did, too.  They strapped her in and up she went.  She had some hesitation at first but as soon as I yelled to her that she was beating a boy on the other side, something hit home.  She had on flip-flops so it was hard to grip the foot holds  but she made it 3/4 of the way up the wall before she lost her footing and came down with a large surprised smile on her face.  Again, what a joy I get from observing  my courageous, intrepid daughter. 

We hit the tub ride (Maria’s and Mario’s favorite for years) and the inflatable house before getting two rainbow sno-cones and calling it a night.  Tonight is the big night because dad has agreed to come with us.  We have already reserved the climbing wall for dad to climb – Mario announced when we left the wall last night “My daddy could climb to the top of that wall because he is really strong.”  Nothin’ like some pressure, babe!

Summer Break

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My attitude shifts when, after months of cold and darkness, the sun finally decides to hang out with us a little longer.  Flowers join the party.  Neighbors come out of hibernation.  Birds serenade you as you roll out of bed in the morning.  Ahh, summer.

We are getting our first experience of summer break for Maria who is in between Kindergarten and 1st Grade.  Maria is going to school two days a week through Kids’ Club where she gets to hang out with friends and go swimming one day and on a field trip the other.  Mario is only going to daycare two days a week (versus 5) so it is like a summer vacation for him, too.  Our sitter, Megan, stays with them 4 days a week (one kid only two days a week and both the two other days).  This is the end of our first week with Megan and with the new school schedule. 

When I dropped Maria off on Monday morning, she clung to me like she had on her first day of daycare and Kindergarten.  I introduced her to other girls but nothing helped.  I read her a book and played a game with her when finally the teachers announced that the kids needed to line up to go outside.  A tall girl, Elly, saw Maria having a hard time and said “I will play with you outside, Maria.”  Maria looked up at her with a tiny smile.  I reassured her that the day would be fun, and she slowly loosened her grip on my hand and let me depart without massively wailing at the door.  Throughout my day, I got concerned about Maria’s clinginess and strong need to have me by her side.  This is a constant struggle for me – I need to let them do more on their own so they won’t be so distressed when I leave.  I guess there are worse things I could have done to her as a baby, like beat her or not change her diaper.

By the time I picked Maria up at 4 (yes, I left work early), she was in a great mood talking about how awesome the day had been.  There is a higher being when you need one.  My day had been ridiculously stressful so if she would have been wailing when I arrived, I would have called it quits at work and stayed home with her until she was 18.  Luckily, for both of our sanities, that did not occur. 

On our walk to swim lessons, she boasted about walking to and from the pool with her class.  She also got to play with her favorite lifeguard and swim teacher, Nick. He made a train with all of the kids on his back.  Pure heaven she tells me (embarrassingly and with a promise not to tell dad!).  She went to Olentangy Indian Caverns on Tuesday on a real live bus (every once in a while I would look up from my work and think about her on that bus and pray that everything was ok – neurotic, I can be) and got to go on a tour and collect rocks (our favorite activity).  

Mario was typical Mario at daycare drop-off.  He complained about going to school, was grouchy as hell when we took him in (teachers coo over him and say hello and he sticks out his tongue or lifts up his chin and ignores them all); and got annoyed with his friends when he first saw them.  nevertheless, by the time we picked him up, he was talking about how Ben did this and Sophia did that….  He showed us the books he read and the activities he did and raced us down the halls.  Again, thank god for that welcome back.    

The first day with Megan was trying for all.  Maria had a meltdown because Megan asked her to read and asked her to clean her room.  When asked to read, she did her Maria self-defense move and cried about being too tired and not feeling good.  Megan picked up on it when she asked Maria to clean her room later and Maria had the exact same excuses after she had been playing just fine for an hour earlier.  Megan is no dummy.  Maria screamed and cried and basically went ballistic to the point that Megan texted me and told me she did not know what else to do.  My face immediately lit up upon receiving the text and when I got home, Maria and I had a long talk.  Since that day, she has been much better (then again, I don’t think Megan has asked her to clean her room again for fear of Maria’s wrath!).  Mario adores staying at home.  Megan is good for him because she is an athlete and he loves sports.  They can shoot baskets, play Wii, and ride bikes. 

In the summer, I try to get home at the latest around 5:30.  We have been good lately about eating dinner at the house before we run out to the pool, the yogurt shop or Zach’s house.  Once out of the house, it is like we are in a time warp.  Every night I tell myself that I will get the kids home at a decent time so they can bathe and read books and watch a show and go to bed by 9 pm.  That would give Jon and I at least an hour or two to relax.  But, inevitably, I look down at my watch at the yogurt shop or the park and see that it is 9:15 and we are not even home (baths go to the wayside at that point – poor dirty kids).  In the Winter, an hour feels like ten hours because it is cold and dark and wet outside.  You are stuck in the house playing games or watching tv or staying warm.  In the Summer, an hour feels like ten minutes it goes by so fast with all of the things you can do.  Hit the park, head to the library for outdoor music, eat at the yogurt shop, visit friends’ houses. 

The other night we hit Music on the Lawn for Conspiracy.  Conspiracy is a kick-butt, jammin’ local band.  Maria and Mario played around with some neighbor kids – Mario tackled people as soon as they approached him to dance.  The typical Mario.  However, I think I scolded him about 50% less than last time so we are making progress.  They played a few Black Eyed Peas songs that my girlfriend and I embarrassed ourselves to as we pretended to know how to dance hip-hop.  One day I will take lessons….

At the yogurt shop

When we woke up the next morning, Mario and Mario and I acted like we were driving in a car (on Maria’s bed).  Maria and Mario were my parents.  I begged them to turn on the imaginary radio.  Mario shouted “I know what you like daughter, Black Eyed Peas!”  Maria chimed in right after Mario with “No way, hubby, she loves Michael Jackson more!”  I can’t wait for next Tuesday – I think it is a band that does MJ songs – Beat It , Billie Jean, Human Nature.  I will definitely ignore the time for that show.

Mario and Gio

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Maria and her cousin Alana hit the farm together for a few days this week.  I was left with Mr. Mario all to myself.  I decided mid-week that it was a perfect time for me to have Giovanni, Alana’s little brother, over for a play date.  I had never had Mario and Giovanni together for two reasons: (1) Maria and Alana are at an age where I can take them to a movie or a school play and they can play up in Maria’s room for hours and (2) Mario and Gio are at ages (3 and 4) where they don’t quite play together well yet and they are, how to say this nicely, hyper, manic, spastic creatures.    

The boys heading to the pool

Giovanni’s mom dropped him off to me at 4 pm.  We decided to go to the pool first.  I had told Mario that Gio may be a little scared of the pool since he does not swim as much as Mario.  The entire trip down to the pool, Mario kept telling Gio not to be scared of the deep end because it is easy to swim in deep water with water wings.  Gio responded that he did not have wings like Mario.  Mario shrugged his shoulders and sighed “oh, that’s too bad.” Nothing like the empathy that his big sis would have had – she would have demanded that we head to Target to get wings for him.  Mario, he is still learning this trait. 

The two boys had a great time at the poolbut they barely spoke.  Gio held on to the ladder at the side of the pool while Mario jumped into the water like a skydiver out of a plane.  After a while, Gio caught sight of how awesome the water wings were, and asked Mario to use them.  After a little bit of cajoling, he agreed.  Gio loved them.  He walked all over the pool confidently.  Meanwhile, Mario ate a piece of pizza on his towel.  His new thing is to spread out his beach towel so that all sides are completely flat and then lay on it with his hands under his head like a little superstar.  During adult swim, the boys jumped in the baby pool together but went there separate ways.  Such different behaviors than Maria and Alana when they are together.  They typically stick side-by-side unless there is a fight happening (which can be rather often).  But the boys were fine heading their separate ways and not engaging until it was time to leave. 

Playing at the park

  

We left the pool and stopped off at the playground. Mario climbed up the ladder and slid down the slide while Gio watched.  Mario prodded him to go down the slide but Gio declared “no, way, I am a scaredy cat!”  Mario responded that he is “not scared of anything” as he slid down the slide.  Mr. Macho he is.   Giovanni climbed up the steps and went down the small slide and played on the swings.  Mario stuck with the fireman pole and the big slide.  When we got home, I had to clean up Cy’s hair in the kitchen so I left them to their own devices.  I wondered how they would play.  Within about three minutes I heard a loud bang and lots of laughter.  Thirty seconds later another bang and laughter and screams.  Giovanni held a plastic golf bag and Mario smashed a golf club against it.  They thought it was hilarious.  Next, they moved onto musical instruments with Giovanni playing the piano (“playing” is a loose term) and Mario rockin’ the guitar.  After ten minutes, they moved onto throwing pillows and random little objects around the living room floor and bellowing manly roars.  And there you have it. Take me back to the cave men days.  This is what two testosterone little Italian boys gets ya.  But they were happy and that is all that mattered. If I could manage the destruction, these two enjoyed each others’ company. 

The cousins splashing it up on Memorial Day

In the end, Maria and Alana are probably easier to watch over but there is a lot less bickering with the boys.  I just have to watch that the boys don’t destroy every breakable object in the house.   

As they buckled their car seats, Giovanni asked if they could watch Tom & Jerry.  Before I could answer, Mario said “Mom, I will watch Tom & Jerry because Giovanni is our guest and I should let him pick.”  I think there was some self-interest in his statement but it was at least a step towards sharing.  As I got the movie out, Giovanni looked at Mario and declared “You are my best friend, Mario.”  Mario smiled and replied “You are my best friend, Giovanni.” 

When Mario woke up the next morning, he begged to have Giovanni over again for a play date.   I told him it was a school day.  He proceeded to revert to his cave man behavior seen the day before – yelling and stomping around the house.  He even declared that he wished I had never been born.  I told him that would mean that he would never have been born.  “Fine!” was his response.  He went on to tell me that he was going to take away all my pretty dresses (fine with me – I don’t wear them!) and he was going to live somewhere else.  It was a good prep session for the teenage years.  Of course, because Mario has the ability to go from angel to devil in two seconds flat, he walked up to me three minutes after this tirade and held his arms up for me to hold him.  “I love you, Mom.”

Ahh, the joy of boys, or rather, kids.

My fishermans

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Maria and her catch

We drove to Big Mario’s and Vicki’s house last weekend and fished down on their dock.  The entire trip out to Mario’s and Vicki’s house, little Mario talked about catching a fish.  He remembers Jon telling him that the fish don’t bite when it is the middle of the afternoon because it is too hot and they stay far under the water to keep cool.  Therefore, we have to wait until dinner time to go down to the dock with our nets and poles to catch fish.  I think fishing is Mario’s favorite activity at this time in his life – it probably even beats basketball.  He just loves everything about it – putting bait on the pole, watching for a fish to bite, holding the fish in the net, measuring its size, and like every good fisherman, bragging about how big the fish was after the fact.  Maria loves to head down to the dock, too, but her tolerance level is much lower, especially after she catches one (that activity is complete – onto the next (a lot like her mom)). 

 When we got to the dock, the sun was still beaming.  Mario and Jon worked on the fishing poles and bait while Maria and I sat on the dock and looked out at the water.  I asked her “pluses” while we waited (8+2 =..; 9+4=..).  She loves to work on math problems.  Jon and Mario finished and brought Maria a fishing pole.  Within five minutes of Jon casting it, Maria caught the first fish of the evening – a huge catfish with whiskers as long as pencils.  Mario immediately wailed: “Not fair, I didn’t get one yet!”  Maria consoled him and patted him on the back telling him “Don’t  worry little brother, you will get one soon.”  Because Maria had gotten her catch, she decided to leave her pole stranded and head back to the house. 

Mario holding his catch

My fisherman

As I walked her off the dock, I heard Jon yelling for me and turned around to see him trying to handle Mario’s pole and Maria’s.  There were good-sized catfish pulling on both of them.  Mario was beside himself yelling at Jon to get them out of the water.  Mario held the net with one of the catfish in it while Jon worked on getting the other free from the hook in its mouth.  Maria and I cringed while watching Jon but Mario just ate it up.  Maria told Jon “get that fish away from me.” Mario immediately chimed back “Get that fish towards me!” 

He begged Jon to let him fish some more.  After about ten more minutes, he pulled out a blue gill.  This one was more his size and he stood by it proud as a papa with his newborn son.  He begged for more but the mosquitos were biting like mad.  When we got to the house, he announced his accomplishments.  He exaggerated the size of both the catfish and the blue gill.  Everyone gave him a high-five and he slapped their palms hard with a smug little look on his face.  My little fisherman.

Maria’s Doomsday

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Maria's attitude face (scary, heh?!)

We asked Maria to clean her room this morning.  You would have thought we told her to clean the entire house and more with the reaction that we got from her.  She produced intermittent whines and screams of “I don’t want to clean my room!” Then she went into a huge tirade about not wanting to have a room – she just wishes that we would let her live outside.  We are such horrible parents for providing her shelter.  Next she pulled out the “too tired” card but within three minutes of using that one she begged to go to the zoo and walk around the animals.  Hmmmm.  Finally, she got her dad to help her out and after ten minutes complained that she needed to lay down due to the intense work.  

Ready for a game

Maria Grace.  Meanwhile, her crazy brother was in his room shoving clothes in his drawers, pushing games in his dresser, putting animals back in the bins.  He jumped into our bedroom and pronounced “Mom and Dad, my room is clean!”  he pulled us in and rejoiced “Look at my floor – all clean!”  Anything he can do to look better than his sis, he will do.  It drives him in a worrisome fashion.  He is so competitive.   This is the kid that tells me I cannot root for him when we are playing basketball because we are on separate teams. 

Maria, on the other hand, does not have such a strong competitive side to her.  She is more inclined to want to play a game where everyone is on the same team.  However, what she lacks in competitiveness, she gains in bossiness.  She wants to be the boss in all that she does – be it with friends, Mario, or her cousin.  She wants to give the directions and lead the activity and if anyone gets in her way, she makes it clear that she is not happy with them. 

I remember going to Cincinnati for my grandmother’s surprise party and my dad taking Maria to another room to play with her while I got my grandma’s party together.  He came back cracking up.  He told me about his time with Maria, which was hysterical.  I can’t remember all of the funny things she did, but the one that sticks out still is that when my dad asked her why he could not do something she responded quickly and firmly with “Because I am the boss.”  God help the corporate world in 20 years – she will have some intern coming over to clean her New York apartment because she is the boss.

Taking the Plunge

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Maria and Mario took the plunge today.  Maria had taken it on Saturday and Mario was determined to follow.  

On Saturday, one of Maria’s friends bragged about going off the low diving board.  I could tell that Maria was thinking about it when he walked away.  I asked her if she wanted to give it a try, and to my surprise, she said “yes.”  She is such an enigma.  She does not want to swim much or put too much effort in splashing around with her brother but she decides to plunge off the low dive.  She has some daredevil in her.  I had to swim over to the edge of the low dive on her first jump because she was nervous of the height.  The lifeguard yelled at me about staying at the ladder so the next jump I had to stay a little farther away (although I ended up disobeying the lifeguard and getting pretty close to her again).  Today, she braved it and jumped with me hanging on to the ladder at the side of the pool.  I had to swim out to help her get her bearings but she did it all by herself! 

Mario shook and shivered while he stood one foot from the edge of the low dive board.  I had to literally stand under the board to get him to jump.  Luckily, the kids and adults were super patient and waited while Mario debated jumping off for three minutes.  When he finally decided to jump, he held his arms out and jumped feet first into the water.  Perfect!  He was charged up when he rose up from the dive shaking his head and smiling hard.  His next jump was not as pretty – he did a 90% belly flop.  When he rose up, that big smile was a grimace and he turned to me to say “My tummy hurts.” 

After the belly flop, we took a break from the diving board and played in the water.  We played shark and beauty parlor (Mario dunks me to do my hair and Maria applies my makeup).  Mario went to the baby pool while Maria and I ate cheez-its.  Mario met a few friends in the pool and began playing splashing games.  He dove in the water face first with his darlin’ goggles on and shot up out of the water yelling “Did you see that mom?!” 

He was a complete pill to try to get to leave.  Last year, he was begging to go after 20 minutes because he was so cold.  This year, I have a feeling he has taken a different turn.  Granted, it was 90 degrees today and the water was comfortable – not freezing like a lot of days last year so we’ll see once this hot streak ends.  On the stroller ride home, Mario stared out into space.  I asked what was wrong, and he didn’t respond right away.  After a few seconds, he finally replied “Mom, I just wish I could be at the pool right now.”  Maria, being the diplomatic one, told him that we would head back this week and have a lot of fun but that we had to head over to Aunt Carrie and Uncle Patrick’s house now.  Mario turned to her and said “Ok, Ri” and Maria patted his head.  Ahh, I could eat these two babes up at times like those.

Chillin’ at the Creek

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We woke up last Sunday morning and engaged in an old ritual – donuts from Tim Horton’s.  The kids were able to wear only their nighties as we strolled down to the donut shop.  They have not been able to do that for eight months.   We decided as we chowed down on our timbits that we would head to Battelle Darby Creek in the afternoon.  The kids went there with their Peepaw earlier in the week and loved it. 

Lookin' good for the creek

As soon as we got home, Maria and I stuffed our backpacks full of random eats, water, and towels.  The kids wore their bathing suits under their clothes with the hopes we could get into the creek.  With all of the rain, I was worried that it would be too swollen and rushing.  With sunglasses and sunscreen on, we hopped in the car and headed west.  The creek was only 20 minutes away and as we pulled up, Maria shouted “this is where we parked with Peepaw.”  My dad knew she would remember everything when I asked him for directions, where to park, and where to enter.   

We hit the Overlook Trail first because it was only about 600 feet total in length.  We learned about the glaciers that used to inhabit this part of Ohio and how they created the valley we saw below.  Later in the trip, Maria asked “can we see the glaciers?”  Our next trail expanded further.  While we headed down the wood steps,

Throwing rocks and watching for water snakes!

Maria yelped.  She was just ahead of me and Mario was ahead of her.  When I glanced down at her, I saw a dark-colored snake slithering over the side of the step to the woods.  Mario was so upset he did not spot it.  Unfortunately for him, he does not have quite the eagle eyes that Maria has inherited from her dad.  I congratulated Maria on her keen eyesight and she smiled at me.  But when we got to a little pool of water, she refused to put her feet in for fear that a water snake would “kill her.”  Everywhere she stepped, she looked around her to ensure there were no snakes slithering her way.  Mario was hilarious trying to calm her down “Maria, mommy will protect you.”  “Maria, you don’t have to be scared; just throw a rock at a snake and it will go away.”  “Hold my hand Maria, I have you.” 

Maria braving the waters and Mario being way too daring!

I started to fret at the thought of having her be too scared to ever want to go in the woods again.  One of my favorite activities with the kids and that darn snake would ruin it.  But, my girl came through after we left the pool of water.  We went back to put on our shoes and clothes and keep down the trail.  Maria complained of being hungry and not wanting to see a snake but then we found a small hill that led to a gentle opening to the creek.  A family stood in the water.  Mario threw off his shoes, and ran down the hill to the water.  He picked up a stick and stood calf high in the creek.  Maria hesitated, and I held my breath, but then she walked down the hill and stood in the water with Mario.  There were two girls and a boy in the water with their mom and dad and the two girls were sitting on rocks in the water and laying on their bellies letting the creek water push them around.  That is all Maria needed.  She moved closer to them and tried it out, too.  Before I knew it, I was warning her to not go too deep.  She was cured of her water snake fear.  Mario spent the entire time using his stick as a sword and a water splashing tool.  Happily, he did not use it to hit anyone in the family next to us.

Self-timed shot after chowing on lunch

After 30 minutes in the creek, we stepped out to eat lunch on the hillside.  If I was a poet, I would have had everything I needed to write a famous poem while sitting at lunch with the kids.  As we ate our pretzels and cereal bars and cheese and crackers, a Mexican mother and four young kids arrived and jumped into the creek.  They exhibited pure, unadulterated joy as they splashed around in the water and the mom laughed while taking pictures and talking in Spanish to them.  Joy is universal.  A centipede moseyed up the tree in front of us – Maria, of course, pointed him out to us.  “Really?” I thought as I laughed about how perfect the day was turning out to be.

We were pretty exhausted when we walked out to the car (after a jaunt on the playground that has a small climbing wall – both kids scaled it like pros).  Mario wanted a movie but the movie he had chosen for the ride out to the creek was horrid – massive killing and blood.  I guess we didn’t read the rating on the movie box even though it was a PG movie and still contained all of that nastiness.  Mario was livid when I took it out on the ride over; Maria felt so bad she told me she would close her eyes and sing so that Mario could watch it.  Instead, she got to hear Mario cry and scream for 10 minutes until I said “Look at the cows out the window” and that little mind went from pissed off to amazed at the sight of bovine grazing in the field. 

Ahh, picture perfect babes.

 I really wanted a McDonald’s diet cooke and small fries and quiet for a half hour so I went all out and stopped at Giant Eagle to see if they had a movie to buy (yes, desperation!).  Besides, we needed a new movie to add to our repertoire.  Of course, they had nothing less than $24,99 and as much as I was tempted to go for it, my practical, money-conscious self could not do it.  On the way out, we saw a Red Box Video.  We see people at those boxes in Grandview all the time but we had never made the dive to do it ourselves.  We went for it and rented Toy Story 3 for $1.00.  By the time we got in the car, buckled up, and turned it on, Mario was passed out.  Maria hung in there with me but sat quietly watching the movie while I enjoyed the quiet ride home with my salty french fries. 

What a marvelous, awesome afternoon.  I have thought about that afternoon almost every day this week, especially when I started to get irritated with a colleague or a work situation.  I remember Maria lying on her belly in the water or Mario trying to skip a rock and they at the least made me smile and at times, even helped produce a significant attitude adjustment on my part.  Nourishing moments for the soul.

Lettin’ loose on a Thursday afternoon

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My grandma has not been feeling well for a couple of weeks.

Work has been stressful and energy-draining.

The kids have been going non-stop with school and parties. 

I felt disengaged and needed to take a break from the normal routine.  I moved my meetings so I had a blank sheet on Thursday afternoon.  I picked Mario up from school at 1:15 just as he was laying down to take a nap.  When he saw me, he shot straight up in the air and asked “Are we leaving, mom?”  When I responded affirmatively, he leapt in the air, grabbed my hand, and shot towards the door. 

Mario concentrating on Wii

“Did you bring the bike, mom?”

“I did, little man.”

“Good, we can save energy!”  I have been trying to teach him about the importance of riding bikes and walking over taking a car everywhere and was happy to hear some of it was sinking in to his budding brain. We clipped on his Spiderman helmet and rode down the bike path.  On the way down the path, Mario turned his head around to me. 

“Mom, thanks for picking me up early today – it made me really happy.  We are going to have fun today!” 

Chalk that moment up for one to put in the memory banks.  The statement absolutely blew me away with the warmth and genuineness of it.  I let him play a game of Wii basketball when we got home while I packed our bag.  Yes, a bag for a three-hour stay in Cincy.  I packed an extra set of clothes, nighties, extra shoes, popcorn, pretzels, and ham.  Jon is still amazed at my strange packing habits but you can never have enough food – you never know when you might get a flat tire out in the middle of nowhere and be stranded for three days until discovered (even on a straight shot down I-71!).  My girl would not be able to live on berries. 

M&M with great-grandma

Mario and I picked up Maria an hour early from school.  We stopped at the gas station for gas, pop, and chips, and got on our way (this has been our routine since Maria was a baby – nothing better than a long road trip with pop and snacks!).  I promised the kids we would stop at French Park (the park I went to during my childhood) if they promised they would be good when we visited Great Grandma at her assisted living apartment.  It was strange to drive on the street I used to travel on as a kid.  Memories popped up in my head with each new block we passed.  French Park looked the exact same as it did when I was a kid.  We parked at the top of the first hill and walked down to the creek.  The kids hopped the rocks to the other side of the trail.  Maria found a set of stairs and we followed those through the enchanted forest with the overhanging trees and vines and the delicate flowers.  When we got to the top of the stairs, we noticed tracks from an animal.  Maria thought a dog, Mario thought a lion.  As we continued, Mario spotted a rabbit amongst the tress.  He was so proud of himself repeating to me every five minutes “I spotted a rabbit, mom!” 

After a few minutes, the kids decided that they wanted to head back down to the creek.  The thought of dipping their toes in the water was too enticing. 

M&M in the creek

We found a good spot to take off our shoes and socks, and we gingerly stepped into the freezing cold water.  The sun beamed through the spaces of leaves in the trees and the rocks seemed perfectly placed to lead us down the creek.  Maria tried to find frogs (for me) and Mario found rocks that resembled guns and acted like he was the captain of a boat fighting off pirates.  We threw rocks in the water (after trying to skip them with no luck (pee-paw is needed)) and splashed each other.  The kids had a blast.  When we headed back to the beginning of the trail, they both begged to come back to the park again.  I need to look for some good ones in Columbus – there is such a sense of gratitude and appreciation that floods over me when I hike and play in nature and I think it infiltrates the kids as well.  They were so good on the way to Great Grandma’s house and at her house, too.  It can be a battle to keep them under control in her apartment because it is so small and there is not a lot to do. But on this day, they played quietly with her blocks and balloons, ate their dinner, and stayed quiet while I talked with Great Grandma.  I did poke them a few times to make sure they were not aliens who had stolen my children. 

Deep in thought

We ended to trip with baths at Grandma Lolo’s house and a walk on the golf course.  The kids found 5 balls each, and were so excited to bring them home to show Papa Rod.  The ride home was even a positive because both kids fell asleep before home.  Maria fell asleep within ten minutes (as always). Mario watched Scooby Doo.  I kept hoping I would turn around and see him asleep so I could just put them both in bed when we got home and I could relax (otherwise, Mario gets his second wind and takes forever to fall asleep).  With about 20 minutes left to go, I glanced back to see if he had fallen asleep and saw that he had unclipped his seatbelt.  I scolded him and demanded that he re-buckle it.  He started wailing and could not get himself together to buckle up so I had to pull over and do it for him.  He cried and cried.  I held his hand for about a minute as I stood outside the car and looked down to see he was sleeping.

Shout out to Moms

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M&M hanging with their mama

Mother’s Day is this weekend.  I hope for a few hours to veg alone either at Stauf’s or on a massage table or on a run along the river.  I hope for nothing more than a couple of home-made pictures from M&M telling me that I am the bomb and that I am super cool. 

I remember reading Anne Lamott’s piece on Mother’s Day (Why I hate Mother\’s Day) a year or so ago.  My girlfriend at the time was contemplating whether to have a child – she is a professional with a good job, husband, house, dogs and she is heavily involved in the community. 

In thinking about her dilemma, I thought about what M&M have brought to my life.  Can I imagine life without them now?  No way.  Could I have imagined life without kids before I had them.  Probably.  It would have allowed me to get more involved in the community, go to events I wanted to attend whenever I wanted to do so, get up in the morning and go for a long run, have more freedom to do just what I desired.  Now I have to adjust my schedule for the kids and give up on events and gatherings that I would otherwise be inclined to attend because I want to be with M&M (and when I don’t to be with them particularly, I feel obliged to be!).  I would never regret the decision to have my munchballs – they fill me with joy and amazement and good times – but I do believe that a person can decide to forego the baby route and still lead a fulfilling, complete life as Anne Lamott argues in her piece.  My girlfriend ended up going the baby route and she has her ups and downs and her frustrations like all of us moms do.  And I know that she does not regret her decision but I am sure there are those days that we all have where we daydream about all we were able to do in this world “pre-baby.”

Me and my girls with sweet baby Grace

I don’t mind the idea of a Mother’s Day celebration or any “Hallmark” celebration for that matter.  We lead such hectic lives that if it takes a special day to make us slow down to recognize the people who mean the most to us, why not?  Earlier today, I watched the newscasters on NBC became emotional when looking back at their moms’ presence in their lives.  As much as I wanted to roll my eyes at this manufactured sentimentality, I found myself thinking about the women in my life and feeling appreciation and gratitude for their presence in my life.  In the end, it is those moments we have throughout our days that keep us plugging along the bumpy road that life can bring us. 

I hope that my mom realizes how much I love her in spite of our battles throughout high school and college.  I now look back at those spats and my anger and frustration and don’t see the woman I saw through my 17 year-old eyes; rather, I see a woman who was full of passion and wonder and yearning to try to find herself and the life that she wanted to live –

My mom and Ri

very similar to the struggle I face in juggling motherhood, my job, being a wife and a member of my community.  Now she has stepped into the grandma role helping me raise M&M and giving me a sounding board whenever I struggle with work issues or anxiety about whether I am damaging my children.  She has reinforced in me that I am a strong, intelligent woman, and she has always supported me.   

Meg and Ri

      

I hope that my stepmom realizes how much I love her for sticking with our crazy clan during the roughest of times (me as a teenager and Sarah as a toddler – god help her).  Meg-pie walks to her own tune refusing to conform to any norm.  She exudes confidence and strength and has always provided support and comfort to me in the worst of times (between breaking up with my high school boyfriend to managing a rogue boss).  She has taught me to always question and to always wonder – as hard and taxing as it may be at times – it’s the only way to grow. 

Patty with M&M

I hope that Patty realizes how much I love her for being a warm, dynamic mom to Jon and providing him with the skills and compassion to be such a loving father to M&M.  Patty exudes energy and has a zest for life that challenges my energy (and we’re thirty years apart!).  She has gone to the limits for M&M taking them for days at a time and playing with them for hours on end.  She gives her whole self to her family, and never declines a chance to spend time with us.  Her spirit is infectious. 

Great Grandma!

I hope that my Grandma Menkedick realizes how much I love her because she is an amazing, incredible, persevering woman who has made a mark on me that serves me well every day of my life (my late Grandma Heile also serves the same role for me).  G-ma teaches me to be humble and gracious and to stand up for myself.  She is the first one to tell me that I need to tell my boss that I won’t work late hours; tell M&M that bedtime is at 9 pm and there will be no getting out of bed; and make my body take some rest time.  She keeps me in line and she reminds me of the power of living in the moment and appreciating the small things be it vegetables ripe from the field or watching late-night tv on the couch with a glass of coke and Pringles.

I have been lucky to have so many strong, energetic, passionate players in my life, many of them women. As Anne Lamott states:

“The main thing that ever helped mothers was other people mothering them; a chain of mothering that keeps the whole shebang afloat. I am the woman I grew to be partly in spite of my mother, and partly because of the extraordinary love of her best friends, and my own best friends’ mothers, and from surrogates, many of whom were not women at all but gay men. I have loved them my entire life, even after their passing.”

So on this Mother’s Day, I give a shout out to all of those women and the many others who have marked my life – thanks for bringing me the experiences that have led me to who I am today.  I love you all.