Boys

October 19, 2012Leave a comment

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.” – Joseph Heller

Gio descended on our house tonight and Mario and him have been moving and shaking ever since. They played guns in Mario’s room, fought dragons, and played Wii. All within 15 minutes. I calmed them down for a small amount of time with a science project in the kitchen. We made a volcano with baking soda and vinegar and food coloring. The boys thought it was cool for five seconds and then they dug their fingers into the hole of the volcano and scraped out the baking soda and food coloring in order to smear it on themselves. Really?!

Next, I had them color paper plates in order to make macarenas. They colored for about three minutes and were ready for the next project, which ended up being a concert for me. They crooned and played their instruments while I cheered them on in the basement. They actually performed for me for a good chunk of time. Impressive. Then they moved on to wrestling and pillow fighting, which was still going on an hour later. I guess they can handle long spurts of violent activity.

Dealing with boys is a 180 degree difference from dealing with girls. Maria and Alana would have been up in Ri’s room for hours before I saw them and then they’d have spent time coloring or playing a card game or watching a movie (they are loving life together at grandma’s and grandpa’s house this weekend).

At 9 pm, I put on Spider-Man for the boys and they still jumped all over each other.
I want that energy.
Now.
Can I usurp it from them?
They just keep going and going and going. I realized that the only thing that settles them down is feeding them a bunch of junk so they get lazy from full stomachs. We brought out the Pringles and sugar after a bit. They looked like little old men eating in their beanbags.

The Pringles did the trick.

I have a bit of fear in my blood about a full day with these young men tomorrow. My desire to get out and stay active will undoubtedly be met but will it come at the cost of a headache from popping around all over the place? I’m tempted to rent a bouncey house and let them jump in it all day while I rake the leaves and listen to NPR. But then I’d miss out on the concerts and the science fairs and I just can’t bear that thought even with as exhausted as they make me.

Parenting Advice – Show the Love

October 18, 2012October 18, 20122 Comments

A friend forwarded this Article to me this morning. It reinforces one of my strongest beliefs as a parent: always show kids constant love and support, and don’t freak out over superficial crap. I love Toni Morrison’s story in the article. Greet your child with a smile, a hug, an “I love you” before anything else. Foster joy and wonder and commitment.

I remember scouring over parenting books when I was pregnant with Maria and reviewing the same books when pregnant with Mario. Deep down, I think I knew their limitations. They acted more like a security blanket for me as I approached being a new mom. But I remember also rolling my eyes while reading the books and thinking “they really believe they can pinpoint every move a mom should make with a child?”

One of my biggest pet peeves is self-righteousness, and a lot of articles espouse advice as if it’s the golden rule. You don’t follow it, and boy, you are a horrid parent. But this article reinforces the importance of the intangibles in childrens’ lives – the kiss on the forehead when they are heading off to school, the dance party you start up while listening to Bieber, the pat on the back when they find their shoes on their own (and in this family, that merits at least one Oreo with the pat!).

Stepping off the scale

October 11, 20121 Comment

I appreciate the New York Times article on the issue of women’s weight but dang, I wish this issue didn’t need such blatant attention. I wish we were at a point with women’s weight where the size of a woman’s pants did not enter anyone’s head when they met her.

I have to admit that I am guilty of this very thing at times. I don’t like the thought of someone assessing my body shape and judging me on my arms or belly but I find myself meeting another woman and thinking “she looks like she works out a lot; she’s got awesome arms; I’m glad I don’t have her boobs.” I stop myself eventually, thinking about how obnoxious I am being to both the woman and myself (stop judging my body against hers!). And when I look past the physical, I can be completely present in the conversation. Where I want to be.

I struggle with my weight, with what to eat during the day, and I often think about how much more I could get accomplished through the day if I didn’t focus on that crap. I love Lena Dunham’s quote in the article after she is asked about her jiggly belly: “No, I have not tried to lose weight. I decided I was going to have some other concerns in my life.” Amen.

Now that I have a daughter (and son, frankly), I am all that more aware of this type of behavior. I commend these actresses and authors for getting out there and showing society that there is more to them than their weight. Media is definitely a vehicle for changing thinking. I do not want Maria and Mario to spend any of their precious time worrying about their body shape – life is too short to ignore the “other concerns” in it. And those other concerns are so much more interesting.

SumDog

October 10, 2012Leave a comment

Maria’s teacher this year is awesome. I really like her a lot; she loves the outdoors, is green, and is supportive of helping out in the community. She also values the importance of technology in kids’ lives and showed us a statistic during orientation that a majority of second graders will have jobs when they get older that we haven’t even heard of today. Amazing.

Maria gets a range of websites and apps to check out that help her better learn spelling or math. Some of the kids in her class love to get on them and play them all night. Maria is not in that category; she would much rather shoot videos or read friends’ blogs (another cool thing that Maria’s teacher started up). I have to monitor her at the computer to ensure that she is spending some time on these math/spelling websites. One site is called SumDog. It is a big hit amongst the kids at her school, especially the boys. She was interested for a couple of days but she gets so frustrated when she can’t get to 1st Place that she gives up and moves onto something else.

Mario, on the other hand, has the complete opposite attitude. He jumped on SumDog a few weeks ago when Maria got off of it and started to play asking me what the answers were to the math problems. After a while, I started to give him hints for how to figure out the answers because I could not get anything done while standing next to him yelling out numbers. I told him to look for a “S” in “Smallest” or a “L” in “Largest” and then he would know whether to choose the smallest or largest number. He ran with that advice and eventually worked hard enough to get in 1st Place. He was so excited. Then he moved onto the “+1” series and began counting “5+1” and “3+1” on his fingers in order to get the right number. Each time I looked over at him, he was hitting 1st or 2nd Place.

He loves the game. Every day after school, he begs to play it. I hope he is this enthusiastic about it when he starts kindergarten. The other night I found Maria trying to log him in under her account so that she would get credit for playing – I really do have to watch that girl!

Football Star

October 8, 2012October 8, 2012Leave a comment

Mario morphed into a football star over the last eight weeks. The boy who once moaned and groaned about having to go to practice now hates leaving when practice is over. The boy who made all of the parents chuckle in one of the first games because he walked over to the sidelines and cried “when will this be over?” now refuses to come out of the game.
A testament to Jon and me for making him stick with it.

He played his last game Saturday morning in the bitter cold wearing his skull cap and batting gloves to keep warm. He looked bad to the bone.

He played most of the first half. When the coach told him to rest on the sidelines so another kid could play, Mario would not budge from the field. It was only after all three coaches and Jon yelled at him that he obeyed.

He loves the camraderie with the other boys – always wrestling or yakking it up or playing with them. It’s been good getting him on this team in order to learn teamwork and cooperation, and to make friends. When we take Ri to school, the boys on his team yell “hi Mario” and he loves it. Jon and I agree that he is going to be a handful once he enters kindergarten.

At the end of their last practice, all of the older kids lined up and the little kids got to run by them and tackle a dummy. They loved it, especially Mario. He cremated that dummy and made us so proud! Ha!

After he hit the dummy, he stood right behind it while the next little boy ran towards it. The dummy fell into Mario and hit his eye. My mom instinct rushed me over to him to see if he was ok. He turned to me and yelled “Mom, go away!” Yep, he’s a man now that he’s finished his first season of football and he doesn’t need his mom (that is until it’s 8 pm and he wants me to hold him up the stairs and read a book).

Movies in the stroller – what a life!

October 5, 2012Leave a comment

We made a late-night run (literally) to Jeni’s for ice cream. Mario brought the iPad and got on YouTube to watch the Pink Panther. Maria soon became intrigued. And I was left acting as chauffeur to the two munchos.
We passed an older couple along the way and they gawked in amazement at the sight of M&M watching tv in the stroller.

“You wouldn’t have seen that five years ago” they chuckled.

It got me thinking back to when Maria was born just 7 years ago. An iPad would not have been an option. She had to stare into space and take in the sights around her when I took her for a stroller ride. How cruel!

But Mario has known nothing but this way of life. Technology is always at your fingertips. You can watch that show you like anytime. You can play an app game anytime. But you can also educate yourself and look up facts anytime (like when we googled how clouds were formed last week).

I struggle as do most parents with how much computer and tv and iPhone they should have in a day. It tends to go back to what they are doing on the computer or phone, also. There are some apps that have done wonders for Mario’s and Ri’s math skills (Math Zombies) but others that are probably killing brain cells exponentially (Zombieville (yes, M&M have a strange fascination with zombies)).

As with everything in life, moderation is key, I suppose. Ri and Mario still get on their bikes and run around the neighborhood through the day. The day they sit inside all afternoon on a technological device is the day that we start enforcing hard and fast rules. But, knock on wood, we have some pretty happy, active, diverse kids who like to mix it up between outdoor play and games and education. Think it will stay that way five years from now when they both have iPhones?!

Taking care of mom

October 2, 2012Leave a comment

What did I do after work before M&M? I thought about that question a great deal tonight as they watched Ben Ten before bedtime. I have been fighting a nasty cold that has my head pounding and my nose bright red and raw and when 5:00 rolls around all I want to do is go to bed.

But then I walk in the door to two kids that squeal “Mom!” and wrap their bodies around me and suddenly my head and nose play second fiddle. “Mom” is needed and no pounding head or raw nose can stand in the way. There is no time to feel bad for myself, to slouch across the recliner and veg. There is dinner to make, homework to review, and baths to prepare (who am I kidding – we are lucky if we get baths in every other day! They’ve probably added two years to my life span with the way they keep me moving.
This morning Mario jumped in bed at 6:30 am and begged for a stroller ride. Ri pounced on me a few minutes later. And we were off by 7 am to Stauf’s for black russian bagels and cream cheese. Ri was not happy with my purchase at first; she wanted a chocolate chip scone. But when she had no choice, she ate the bagel and to her chagrin, loved it. She felt bad for raggin’ on me and took the stroller telling me “she’d help her old lady stroll Mario.” Mario, meanwhile took down his half of the bagel and then my entire bagel on the ride to school. I about passed out – my Mario would never have accomplished that feat. We are usually lucky to get him to take a bite. He must be going through a growing spurt.

It was pouring rain on my bike ride home tonight, and as I pulled up to our driveway, Mario and Ri stood on the grass waiting for me. Ri had a blanket that she draped over me and Mario had a glass of water for me inside. My caretakers.
I asked them what they wanted for dinner and Ri begged to go out to eat. I ignored her for a bit as I watched Mario play Wii but then she approached me with a hat full of papers.
“Pick one, mom.”
I reached in and grabbed a piece of paper that had “Jason’s Deli” written on it. She also had Bob Evans on one, Home, and Knotty Pine. A little game to get me excited about dinner out. Mario begged for Bob Evans so Ri made me draw another piece of paper until I chose Bob’s.

I think the gods were trying to tell me something by making it so difficult to select Bob from the group; after dinner my stomach joined my head and nose in pain. Luckily, my girl found some Tums for me.

Rest on Sunday? Ha!

September 30, 2012Leave a comment

Coffee, chocolate chip scone, and… sprints? Apparently that was in the cards for us today.

Maria wanted to bike to Stauf’s this morning – a welcome change from our Tim Horton’s runs. She asked if we could bike down the hill next to us and I told her that would mean she had to bike back up the hill. Surprisingly, she still wanted to do it. A very proud moment for me. And an even more incredible moment when she willed herself half way up the hill (which is steep) and then got off and walked it the rest of the way without complaining once.

We met Jon at Stauf’s and got chocolate chip scones and muffins. Mario told us how stars come from nebulous clouds – just a typical morning with our five year old son. Maria told me that she was going to be my coach and make me run on the track. So we headed to the track after breakfast and Ri timed me as I ran sprints.

“Move it lady!” she screamed at me. “Go faster!” She could definitely move straight into the army.

Mario and Jon arrived shortly after us and Mario dove right into my sprints… and push-ups. He is an animal. Maria and Jon timed us over and over.

Then Ri got into the mix and sprinted across the field to us. I am not sure what got into this girl of ours but she turned into a monster, too. She continued to sprint back and forth a few more times and then biked home. Love it!

Soon after we got home, Ri had to go to cheer leading. I was worried that she may peter out but she stayed strong belting out the cheers and kicking that leg up!

While at the game, my brother texted me about a gig he was playing at the riverfront. The kids have been wanting to see him play so I thought it would be perfect since I didn’t need to take them to a bar to see him! I told Ri to get dressed up like a rocker girl and she didn’t joke around! Blue eye shadow and all (dad was not pleased nor was I but we let it go this time!)

The kids made some quick friends with my law school friend’s kids. They all sat together waiting for Jack’s band to start. The Evan Oberla Project jammed it out.

Mario sat on the stone seat and watched the entire show getting up every once in a while to get out some dance moves and then chillin’ again in his seat. He loved it and even got a shout out from the band members who said he was by far the best dancer of the day. He was smitten!

We wrapped up the day the way I love most – with Jon’s yummy spaghetti and homemade meatballs. Heaven. Our cousin, Robert and my bro, Jack ate with us, too. What a treat, especially for M&M who idolize the both of them.

A full day for us – we will all be crawling into work and school tomorrow morning. But there is no other way to live!

A week in review

September 28, 2012September 28, 2012Leave a comment

Jon arrived on US soil this afternoon and will be waiting for me when I get home tonight. Ahhh. Feels great.

The week without him provided much laughter, a bit of stress, some crying, and a boatload of hugs and kisses. The run-down:

1.Wii tournaments with the neighbor kids who have gotten comfortable enough with us that they just walk through the door and yell “hi, anyone home?”

2. Mario made a new buddy – Quinn, one of the neighbor kids. Quinn has a head of strawberry curls and reminds me of Huck Finn. Mario stopped him on his bike Monday night to ask him to play at our house. Quinn said he wanted to ride his bike. Mario threw down his football and stomped up the yard to me to announce his displeasure. “He doesn’t want to play! I don’t like him!” After explaining why he may want to take a breath and re-think his proclamation against Quinn, he gently approached Quinn again and asked if he could come over after he rode his bike. Quinn agreed and they’ve been playing Wii ever since!

3. Maria strengthened her friendship with Sophie, the 3rd grade neighbor kid. I like Sophie because she never wants to play barbies and she loves being outdoors.

4. Mario got his first flag football picture taken on Tuesday night. What chaos! Forty 5 and 6 year olds running frantically around the park, tackling and wrestling each other. Mario may be tiny but he is mighty. He warmed my heart the way he wrapped his arms around his team members when the group picture was taken (you could barely see him in the middle – his little pea-head only popping out!).

5. We took two morning walks in the stroller and witnessed an extravagant sunrise one morning. We turned the corner onto First Avenue and BOOM, the oranges and peaches and reds hit us. No talking, no movement (except for my feet pressing the pavement). Just admiration of nature’s canvas.

6. Mario and I devoured two long john donuts for breakfast (each!).

7. Maria got to stroll Mario to school for the first time ever and she was charged! Mario usually flips out whenever Maria takes the reins but he was either too tired or in a magnanimous mood on Wednesday morning. Maria kept looking up at me in sheer delight. When Ri walked into school, Mario looked back at me with a sullen face and said “I wish Ri could stroller me all the way to my school.”

8. We met Grandma and Grandpa Ionno at Polaris Mall to deliver a Mario package to them. Mario ran to grandma as soon as he caught his eyes on her. He said “Gracias Amigo” to her to show her the extent of Spanish words he knows. When grandma replied “do you know any more Spanish words” he looked at her in deep thought and finally said “come on amigo!”

9. Ri and I had a girls night on Thursday and strollered to Orange Leaf at 8:30 pm when it was pitch black outside. We worked on Maria’s blog on the way – she wrote about horse back riding and how you have to concentrate when you ride. My darlin’ horse lover.

10. And now we end the week with Maria having her buddy over for a play date. Two feisty gals to contend with all night but I hope the park and bike riding will wear ’em out!

Hope in humanity (or not)

September 21, 2012Leave a comment

I spent this morning talking to Maria and Mario about the project that we are going to work on with homeless families at the Y two weeks from now. Maria asked if we could take some stuffed animals to the kids so they could hold them when they felt scared. Mario handed me a transformer and told me he wants to give it to one of the kids.

They give me hope in humanity and our future!

But the Onion brings me back to reality with this article. Thank god for its humor to get me through Friday and to the weekend!

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Tag: Parenting