Salons and DQ



I had to get my hair colored last night. I try to put it off as long as possible because I hate going to the salon. I hate having to chat it up with a stylist about plans for the weekend or the latest movies or best restaurants. Maybe if I had a stylist who was a friend it would be ok. But I always go to different people because I make appointments at the last minute in accordance with my last minute schedule. I also hate having to sit around in a salon for two hours when I could be outside enjoying the park or a bike ride. It just seems like such a waste of time for simply … hair!

But as you can witness from the pictures above, my daughter does not share in my dislike of salons. She rather enjoys the idea of putting your feet up and getting pampered. Jon dropped Ri off at the salon while he took Mario to football practice. She made herself right at home chatting it up with the stylist about her tattoos, hair color and the reasons for different types of brushes.

She asked if she could get her hair done while I waited for my color to soak in and I agreed. She got the royal treatment – shampoo, head massage, cut, and blow dryer. She loved sitting under the blow dryer while reading Elle and Vogue. She perused the newest fashion (always opting for the mini skirts or tight pants, of course).

But just as I gave up hope that she was truly my child, she walked over to me as I was getting my hair blown dry and asked “can we go yet?!”

Yes! She is my daughter! She can only handle so much salon life before she’s ready to hit the road. We headed out to the 65 degree weather and walked home together talking about where we should go for dinner and if we should stop at DQ for dessert. Now that’s definitely my daughter taking after her mama!

Don’t sweat the small stuff

I came home from work last night needing some serious big hugs from Maria and Mario.  Work has been kickin’ my a– lately.  But it is nice to jump on my bike for a ride in the open air after work rather than getting into a hot car.  And to my surprise, the kids were waiting near the back door when I walked out of the garage.  They got smothered with kisses. Over and over.

I laid with them later in the evening and watched them drift off to sleep.  I love how their eyes are wide open when I head over to sit next to them, and they swear that they will stay awake until midnight because they are Not Tired!  And then after a back rub or foot massage, I see their eyelids begin to droop and their cheeks begin to turn toward the soft pillow.  And then they are out.  And how beautiful they both are so quiet and still.  As I laid with them, I thought about how fortunate I was to have them in my life – day in and day out.  Sure, there were moments that I wished I had two minutes to be alone but those moments were overshadowed by their character and lightness.

After sitting with them for a bit, I walked into the kitchen for a late-night ice cream bar, and a review of the latest news.  I found a nugget of a piece by Ann Bauer in Salon that struck me, and made me even more cognizant of the fleeting moments we have with our kids.  As they say “time flies when you are having fun” – even when you don’t feel like you are having fun (i.e., changing a diaper at 2 am or quieting a screaming kid in the grocery store).  Bauer succeeded in making me take a step back last night from all of the chaos going on in my head with work and camps and deadlines, and breathe.  Breathe and stare at my unbelievably gorgeous, darling kids.  Because one day I will be standing in the bleachers, too, just like Bauer, and I want to be able to testify that I lived to my fullest with them, and consciously tried to limit the number of regrets that I would experience as a mom raising two kids and juggling work and being a strong partner to Jon and taking care of family and friends, and being a community advocate. 

Bauer’s piece provided a welcome reminder to enjoy the small stuff of life and not get weighed down by the other.

Awkward Talks about God

I sifted through Salon articles tonight as I listened to news about missing dogs and weekend weather.  I found a gem of an article by a writer that I had not heard of to date.  Sue Saunders’ Our Awkward Talks about God.

I connected with her story immediately; I struggle with how to talk to Maria and Mario about religion.  We have many family members who are catholic, and who have a strong faith.  We have family members who do not practice any religion but believe in living a moral and just life.  Jon and I were both raised catholic but do not practice.  We got married in a church and had Maria and Mario baptized but have struggled with where to go from there.  I firmly believe in treating all with respect and compassion.  I firmly believe in empathy and “stepping into the shoes of another.”  A lot of these beliefs were promoted during my years in catholic schools but as Sue Saunders also witnessed, there was a lot of hypocrisy witnessed during those years and long thereafter, too.  I can’t fathom people of faith who espouse how they love others – but shun homosexuals.  Or people of faith who judge others for certain actions but then turn around and engage in the same acts or worse.  Judgmental behavior gets under my skin like no other. 

Showing their compassion with homeless pupsLike the author, I have tried to be honest with Maria and Mario when they ask me about God or ask me where the deceased go after they die.  I also allow family members to talk to Maria and Mario about their faiths and beliefs.  I don’t want to mold their minds for them one way or the other.  They should have the ultimate choice what they want to believe and what they want to practice.  But I do, no matter what, want them to embrace certain virtues – compassion, empathy, care, respect.  I think that is everyone’s moral duty – religion or not.