I came home from work last night needing some serious big hugs from Maria and Mario. Work has been kickin’ my a– lately. But it is nice to jump on my bike for a ride in the open air after work rather than getting into a hot car. And to my surprise, the kids were waiting near the back door when I walked out of the garage. They got smothered with kisses. Over and over.
I laid with them later in the evening and watched them drift off to sleep. I love how their eyes are wide open when I head over to sit next to them, and they swear that they will stay awake until midnight because they are Not Tired! And then after a back rub or foot massage, I see their eyelids begin to droop and their cheeks begin to turn toward the soft pillow. And then they are out. And how beautiful they both are so quiet and still. As I laid with them, I thought about how fortunate I was to have them in my life – day in and day out. Sure, there were moments that I wished I had two minutes to be alone but those moments were overshadowed by their character and lightness.
After sitting with them for a bit, I walked into the kitchen for a late-night ice cream bar, and a review of the latest news. I found a nugget of a piece by Ann Bauer in Salon that struck me, and made me even more cognizant of the fleeting moments we have with our kids. As they say “time flies when you are having fun” – even when you don’t feel like you are having fun (i.e., changing a diaper at 2 am or quieting a screaming kid in the grocery store). Bauer succeeded in making me take a step back last night from all of the chaos going on in my head with work and camps and deadlines, and breathe. Breathe and stare at my unbelievably gorgeous, darling kids. Because one day I will be standing in the bleachers, too, just like Bauer, and I want to be able to testify that I lived to my fullest with them, and consciously tried to limit the number of regrets that I would experience as a mom raising two kids and juggling work and being a strong partner to Jon and taking care of family and friends, and being a community advocate.
Bauer’s piece provided a welcome reminder to enjoy the small stuff of life and not get weighed down by the other.