Thought for today: Life is Good

July 4, 2012July 4, 20123 Comments

Why is it that we convince ourselves with each new year that the fireworks show is going to be an amazing time full of laughter and hugs and unforgettable moments? When instead it is full of spats and whining and trying to find a good spot to set up camp? Ok, so I exaggerate a tad. After all, I believe life is as good as you want to make it so even though there were the spats and the whining and the search for a perfect viewing spot, there was also laughter when the cookies were brought out, hugs when the fireworks sparkled in the sky, and unforgettable moments when I witnessed Jon and Maria holding hands as they walked back to the car.

I haven’t so much learned to lessen my expectations through the years as I have learned to change my thinking. I used to think “this night will be perfect” and when one thing went wrong, I would get upset and believe the entire night was a failure. Maybe it’s a matter of getting older (or maybe it’s a matter of reading lots of self-help books!) but I have improved my thinking in these circumstances. I go into an event now with the thought that no matter how things go, I am lucky to be able to experience the event and have time with my loved ones or by myself. I am privileged to be able to walk to the event, be able to talk to people, be able to eat good food. So when Mario trips and cries or Maria whines or the weather is sweltering hot, I can acknowledge them for what they are and move on to experiencing the better. My results are much more positive and gratifying. And so when I got home last night, I thanked life for giving me time with Jon and M&M to watch fireworks and smile at one another and have tender moments together (trying to get in the car quick enough to not shine our headlights on spectators).

This holiday has allowed me to sharpen my thinking skills even more between the 90 degree, hour and a half parade and the irritable, sun-drenched, fatigued children. But, alas, we were all together downing the waters and watching the floats and having some laughs with cousins and old teachers and friends.

We even managed a bike ride to Stauf’s for a thirst-quenching iced coffee. Maria is becoming a bike pro using only one hand at times and standing up off the seat at others. Mario still enjoys his mama riding him on her bike, which I still secretly love, too since Maria is already pushing away like a 15 year old to be her own person (it’s too soon!).

And so, I continue to revel in my positive thinking as we head over to Jon’s niece’s house for a cookout. How lucky I am to have as much as I do in all aspects of my life – family, friends, home, health, work. No matter if I get a burnt burger tonight or Mario throws a tantrum or the slip-n-slide fails – life is still good on this July 4, 2012.

Running on pie

July 3, 2012Leave a comment

As I ran my same jogging course on Monday morning, I received a much-needed out-of-the-ordinary gem from NPR’s Allison Aubrey. Aubrey hosted a segment on pie-making. And although I do not have fond memories of my grandmother or my mom making homemade pies, it brought up a rush of good emotions as I continued down my jogging path. Aubrey’s description of getting the pie crust just right – not kneading it and keeping little balls throughout it – made me yearn to travel to New York and take a class. I appreciated the way that she intertwined her mother with her story of making a perfect pie.

Like Aubrey, I don’t have memories of my mom slaving in the kitchen over a magnificent pie (she did make a heck of a peanut butter coconut ball though!). But I do have memories of my father’s cherry pies. I don’t remember him slaving away in the kitchen, however; I just have memories of eating delicious homemade cherry pie with him and my mom. I remember helping pick cherries from our cherry tree out back, and suffering a nasty bee sting when I decided not to wear shoes one day. But those pies were well worth it – dripping in cherry goo and always having a slight burnt edge around them. Perfect crispiness.

Food creates memories, and I associate my dad’s cherry pies with childhood summers full of running around outside and hanging with friends and walking the neighborhood. Coincidentally, my husband likely associates his grandmother’s homemade pumpkin pies with exciting summers in Marietta. His grandma made a mean pumpkin pie back in the day that Jon always raves about when we buy pumpkin pie during Fall. “Nothing beats my grandma’s pumpkin pie” he always tells me. My mother-in-law also bakes a stupendous homemade pumpkin pie, and it is by far the best I have ever tasted (I didn’t get to meet Jon’s grandma before she passed). Patty learned how to make her pie from her mother. Indeed, so many of the recipes that Patty has she received from her mom, and you can feel the love in the room when Patty talks about her mom and her cooking.

When the segment wrapped up with Aubrey’s daughter and mother in the kitchen tasting Aubrey’s blueberry pie, I resolved that I would begin a baking tradition with Maria and Mario. I love how those resolutions wash over me so quickly and resolutely while I am out in the open air free from all constraints and time lines and chores. “Maybe I will even sign up for a class with M&M and Jon or my mom or dad or stepmom or mother-in-law. The ideas were flowing.

Then I got home and realized I was late for a meeting. I ran upstairs to shower and get dressed. Mario had Maria in a head lock and Maria was smacking his head. When I came downstairs to leave, milk laid all over the table and cereal remnants were across the floor. A pack of goldfish were torn apart and chocolate sauce stuck to the counter. I asked them why everything was a mess.

“We wanted to make breakfast ourselves, mom, so you didn’t need to be bothered.” And then I looked down and saw a bowl with a bright beaming yellow glob laying in it. Maria surprised me with microwaved eggs. She had broken two eggs into a bowl and stuck them in the microwave for a minute and a half. She fed me a bite and asked how they were.

“Delicious!” I told her. She looked at Mario and gave him a high-five.

And so, my cooking ventures may start out slow and different than planned, but we will get there…eventually!

Triplets for Ri

July 2, 2012July 2, 20121 Comment

I am a grandma. Maria had triplets on Saturday afternoon – Sarah, Jessica, and Emily. She told me that the birth was easy and she was able to run around with them hours later. Their “births” occurred at Toys-R-Us in Kenwood on our way home from Louisville. She begged me to buy the triplets for her and I refused at first. But then I thought back to my days as a little girl with my dolls and I couldn’t resist.

She has been taking care of them ever since Saturday. They cry and giggle and burp and say “mama.” Pretty cute. She wrapped them in a blanket at Grandma Lolo’s house and walked them outside while my mom walked Lou. She invented a new diaper for them that just soaks in the pee and poop so there is no cleaning necessary. She fed them their bottles and successfully juggled keeping them all content and happy. She is super mom.

In fact, I see her future as a super mom handling 5 kids at a time. She was at the dinner table with Grandma Lolo and Papa Rod and Rod told her he had to go into work for 12 hours to fix power lines. She responded “I am glad I’m not old enough to do that work!” I Indeed, she would much rather work with babies. She is a natural, after all. Anyone that can feed two babies and get her little brother to help feed the other newborn rather than play his newest Ben Ten game has certainly got innate talent.

Partyin’ in Kentucky

June 30, 2012Leave a comment

Mario lived his dream of being a superstar last night. He danced all by himself on the dance floor with the entire wedding party and guests watching and cheering his every move. The DJ asked me Mario’s name and I told him. He went back to his stand and yelled in the microphone “Let’s hear it for Mario!” Mario turned to me in disbelief. He was charged!

The DJ challenged the guests to a dance-off with Mario and this gorgeous southern belle took him on. She kicked and punched the air like Mario, did the robot like him, and jiggled her hips. But he pulled out a cartwheel on her and she gave up and bowed down to him.

“Did I win, mom?” he asked me later in the evening. The kid never fails to find competition.

Maria, meanwhile was persevering through pain. She wore “high heels” with her dress and they were killing her feet (like all heels do!). I kept telling her to take them off but she’d reply “mom, it’s a wedding and I’m in a dress; I can’t take off my heels.” She certainly doesn’t take after her mom who wears gym shoes with her dress! It scares me that she was willing to deal with the pain of heels in order to remain in high fashion – god help us.

We also got in some quality hotel pool and hot tub time – Maria stood on Peepaw’s shoulders in the pool and Mario acted like a fighting superhero in the hot tub jumping from side to side with his fist outstretched. We also got our money’s worth at the breakfast buffet filling up on waffles, eggs, sausage and fruit loops. Massive carbs – just what I needed for a four hour drive home.

We stopped over at Aunt Kathy’s condo before we headed home – Maria got to see the married couple before they took off to Jamaica (she’s still blushing over Miles’ comment that he’d save her a dance at the reception ( when he asked her later she was too embarrassed)). Kathy had Krispy Kreme donuts and chick-a-filet sandwiches – who can resist that action?! I felt like I was in a coma after taking those down and would have paid top dollar for a chauffeured ride home.

But thank goodness for five-hour energy drinks – I was back to normal in no time flying up I-71 to Columbus and listening to M&M interchange between begging to go back to the hotel and ask ing how much longer to home every ten minutes. I knew I should have gotten some Advil with my five-hour energy drink.

Driving the Munches

June 27, 2012June 27, 2012Leave a comment

Does this crew crack me up or what?!

My sis is back in town with her hubby, Jorge, and her cuddly monster of a dog, Stella, and they agreed to take my two darling children to the farm for the next couple of days since our sitter threw up all day while babysitting them yesterday. Poor guy must have gotten Maria’s bug last week – he barely made it out of the car after he picked up Mario from school and had the pleasure of throwing up all over our sidewalk while the kids screeched with depraved excitement.

So, I had an afternoon full of frantic phone calls trying to find child care for the rest of the week. Luckily, Meg and dad came through – this will be a test for Maria Grace – it is supposed to be in the 90’s the next couple of days and there is no AC at the farm. I’m quite sure she will be naked through the afternoons!

So back to that retro sis of mine (Maria told her she looked like she was living in the 80’s and Sar told her that her look was “retro” – not 80’s). She arrived promptly at 8:30 am to pick up the munches (Sar’s endearing name for them) who had been begging for her to arrive since 6:25 am. They were excited to spend two hours with her in the car and did not even ask for a movie on the way. Sarah should be honored.

She called me half way into the trip and let me know she was teaching them the names of colors in Spanish. She also was laughing hysterically at the stories coming out of the munches’ mouths. Maria told her about a news clip where a man was naked on a street in Florida and they had to blur his privates. Mario chimed in and added: “that was me!”

Yeah, I am quite sure she was kept amused the entire ride and I am quite sure the munches were in seventh heaven.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

June 26, 2012Leave a comment

I came home from work last night needing some serious big hugs from Maria and Mario. Work has been kickin’ my a– lately. But it is nice to jump on my bike for a ride in the open air after work rather than getting into a hot car. And to my surprise, the kids were waiting near the back door when I walked out of the garage. They got smothered with kisses. Over and over.

I laid with them later in the evening and watched them drift off to sleep. I love how their eyes are wide open when I head over to sit next to them, and they swear that they will stay awake until midnight because they are Not Tired! And then after a back rub or foot massage, I see their eyelids begin to droop and their cheeks begin to turn toward the soft pillow. And then they are out. And how beautiful they both are so quiet and still. As I laid with them, I thought about how fortunate I was to have them in my life – day in and day out. Sure, there were moments that I wished I had two minutes to be alone but those moments were overshadowed by their character and lightness.

After sitting with them for a bit, I walked into the kitchen for a late-night ice cream bar, and a review of the latest news. I found a nugget of a piece by Ann Bauer in Salon that struck me, and made me even more cognizant of the fleeting moments we have with our kids. As they say “time flies when you are having fun” – even when you don’t feel like you are having fun (i.e., changing a diaper at 2 am or quieting a screaming kid in the grocery store). Bauer succeeded in making me take a step back last night from all of the chaos going on in my head with work and camps and deadlines, and breathe. Breathe and stare at my unbelievably gorgeous, darling kids. Because one day I will be standing in the bleachers, too, just like Bauer, and I want to be able to testify that I lived to my fullest with them, and consciously tried to limit the number of regrets that I would experience as a mom raising two kids and juggling work and being a strong partner to Jon and taking care of family and friends, and being a community advocate.

Bauer’s piece provided a welcome reminder to enjoy the small stuff of life and not get weighed down by the other.

Icees and Madagascar

June 25, 2012June 25, 2012Leave a comment

Maria has come back from the dead. Four days after becoming inflicted with a nasty flu bug, she was finally able to walk around the house, eat solid food, and joke with her brother. Thank you world!

We celebrated with a trip to Target for icees and a small present in celebration of Maria’s revival back into society. They both have their icee making down to a science adding a lot of the initial flavor (usually cherry) and a squirt of every other flavor creating a perfect rainbow of sweet sippy goodness. They hop in the double shopping cart and sip away while we walk the aisles.

Maria was torn between a Barbie or a doll baby. She has a ton of each but I like the thought of her caring for a doll more than the thought of her dressing up a Barbie to go out with Ken. Maybe I am wrong – I do automatically shy away from barbie but what do I know? Maria could be acting like Barbie was going out with Ken to a charity event to help the community. Nevertheless, she went with my inclination and chose the baby doll because it came with two bottles to feed her, which she loved. And a binky. Mario was torn between Incredible Hulk gloves or Ben Ten figures. He would have went for the gloves if they fit him. But the holes for the hands were not snug enough so he ditched them.

After Target, we headed to Madagascar 3 in 3D at the movie theatre. The kids told me I was the best mom ever (I held it to them later when they hated me for making them take a bath). We pulled out our M&Ms and Milk Duds from Target and got our movie theatre popcorn and we were set! The movie was less than stellar for me but the kids loved it. I did fall in love with the circus bear, however. And the music added some life. Mario danced in the aisle at one point and Maria hit my arm and begged me to make him stop. She gets so embarrassed nowadays even though there was no one else in the theatre!

When we got home from the movie, the kids helped me pick up leaves in the back. Mario called over to me after a few minutes and asked if I would get him a drink of water. I told him that he was almost five and he could get his own water.

Maria dropped her rake and her jaw dropped. Mario walked inside. I stood twenty feet from her wondering why she was so amazed.

“Mom! You just made Mario get a drink on his own and you didn’t automatically say ‘yes’ to him! Don’t you feel good about that? Great job, mom!” and she went about her business.

Yes, there is no doubt that she was my mom in a past life.

My little slugger

June 23, 2012June 23, 20122 Comments

“Go Mario!”

He soaks up the fans’ adoration and takes a hard swing at the ball. A bouncey grounder to second. He holds his loose helmet on top of his tiny head and runs to first. He looks over at me and gives a thumbs up.

Proud pumpkin-seed boy.

When he heads out to the field, he catches me reading an email in my phone.

“Mom! Put your phone down and watch me!”

Nah, he doesn’t crave attention – not at all. I put my phone down and he sports a mischievous grin. I yell “good job” to him when he runs after a grounder even though he has the closed part of his glove on the ground instead of the open (we definitely need some grounder work).

He lines up after the game with his teammates and gives the other team high fives. Hopefully he keeps up that sportsmanship up through the years because that competitive spirit in him always pokes through.

“Did my team win, mom?”

“I think you tied. You both played well.”

“No, mom. I think we won because I got around the bases and I caught the ball. Yeah, we won.”

Ok then. He clearly does not need any confidence booster from me. But he does need me to put down my phone.

Beating the flu bug

June 21, 2012June 21, 2012Leave a comment

Poor Ri sauntered into my room two nights ago complaining of feeling sick. She said her belly hurt. We laid together in the bed with me rubbing her back and she moaning in pain. A half hour later, she hurled her evening snack – an apple with peanut butter – onto our blankets and pillows. And so it began – our night of ups and downs, crying and pain. Poor girl; I don’t know if she was more upset with being sick or missing out on horse camp.

I kept hoping that she’d wake up feeling fine but no such luck. I got Mario situated with cereal, ran to work for two hours and came back home for the day after a phone call from Ri begging me to leave work and be with her. I laid with her the rest of the day. She is a beautiful sight – even when sick. Her soft tanned skin and huge blue eyes staring over at me. She whispered “are you glad you came home to be with me mom?”

“Of course.” I replied.
“Thank you for leaving work, mom.”

What a doll baby.

Mario got a full dose of tv and computer usage throughout the day. David tried to take him to the pool but he wanted to stay near me. I kept telling myself that I’d miss all of this clinginess one day in order not to go crazy between the two of them whining for me through day and night. I just kept wishing Maria would turn a corner. She is usually a machine rocking whatever bug in her right out of her in 24 hours. But this one is no joke and has taken her down for the count.

I made Mario lay down with us last night at 8:30. He was asleep by 8:45 (baseball practice and no nap through the day may be the key to an early bed time!). I was happy to have him down so I could focus all my energy on making Ri feel better. We played I Spy in the bedroom and talked about silly things she did as a baby. She finally dozed off at 10:30.

Jon got in at midnight and promptly slept in Ri’s bed to avoid any possible infiltration of the “bug.” He flew back a day early to take care of his baby girl and help me out, which means the world to me and to Ri (when I told her dad was coming home early she smiled and said “Dad’s the best.” I didn’t take it personal.). I woke at 6:45 am and made myself roll out of bed to take a run. The day before I had eaten three donuts, a bag of Cheetos, ice cream bars, and a block of cheese. My body craved a run.

Mario caught me putting on my running shorts and pleaded to come with me. His little sunken blue eyes and baby lips mouthing “please mama” pushed me over the edge and I put on his sweater and took him to the stroller (yes, he insists on a sweater in 75 degree weather). We cranked out five miles together before the donuts from the day before reared their ugly heads and made my body say “STOP RUNNING!”

I returned home to my hubby and daughter hanging together upstairs. Two peas in a pod. Maria was so happy to have him near her. I got dressed for work and gave Maria a kiss. “No, I want daddy!” she commanded.

Yes, that’s a mother’s world. We are with our babies all day and night but shoved over to the side when dad comes home. No problem though. I’d much rather see the love between daughter and father than not. And as a daughter myself, I know I’m in her heart no matter what.

When I checked on her this morning, she told me she was feeling a bit better. She had eaten a Popsicle and kept it down. “I just want to eat, mom!”

Now, that’s the girl we all know and love!

Life is Good

June 19, 20121 Comment

Can we have a more insane, crazed night than tonight?

I walked in the door at 5:45 pm after a nutty day at work full of little fires and big personalities. As soon as I step in the hall, Maria gets in my face crying that she needs a grass skirt and coconut boobs for tomorrow’s Hawaiian day at horse camp. Seriously, can’t the horse camp owners just make it a colorful t-shirt day? Everyone has a colorful t-shirt in their drawer – no-one has a grass skirt and coconut boobs. I text a few friends who are no help. I know that I am going to give in to her and run her to the store eventually. But first, I want to mow the lawn before Jon leaves for the airport. I change, slip on my grassy shoes, and head out. Our mower sounds like death. I have hit one too many rocks with it (in no part due to my inability to take my time) and it is ready to call it a day. I finish the back yard and when I go to start it in the front, it refuses. I knew not to mess with it any longer – its little mower life was up – but not before it gave me one last cut in the backyard. I will miss it. Luckily, we had Jon’s brother’s mower in the garage. I used it in the front only to find three-fourths of the way through that I had lost a screw on the left side of the mower so the handle would not stay up. I had to finish the lawn holding the left side up while I tried to push the mower with my right arm and hip. Ain’t it great?

I cleaned up, threw on a new shirt, and we headed out to the Dollar Store for Hawaiian goodies. We lucked out and scored a skirt, leis, and flower clips. Hopefully, Mario’s daycare has some left over boobs from their party that Ri can get tomorrow. Mario scored a set of handcuffs and knife – perfect for a wild four-year old. We ran out of the store and into the car to head home for a hot pocket and sandwich. After we heated the hot pocket, Maria jumped on her bike and Mario hopped in the stroller and we were off to Music on the Lawn for some music by Conspiracy. People packed the lawn taking in the funk. Mario engaged in a robot dance that had the entire left side of the lawn cracking up and Maria get treated to a bag of popcorn by her friend Zach. When he offered it to her, she blushed the loudest red I have seen. God help us.

Mario had a bathroom attack while dancing so we ran into the library. Of course, since we were in there, he needed to get a handful of movies. We met Maria outside for a few more songs and then called it a night at 8:45 pm. When we arrived home, I grabbed the scissors and began pruning the roses. They have been driving me nuts for weeks, and I promised myself I’d get them done last night or tonight. After working on those for twenty minutes while Maria and Mario played with the handcuffs and knife, I came inside to read a book to them. We read a couple, headed upstairs to get changed into pj’s and brush teeth, and headed back down for one episode of Scooby Doo.

My god. My eyelids kept falling over my eyes like broken shades. But I persevered through finishing up emails and memos for tomorrow and chanting all the while “life is good; life is good.” And alas, as crazy as it is, life is good.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: Family