Create your mission

March 21, 2013March 21, 2013Leave a comment

Maria came home from Brownies a few months ago and asked us to consider our family values. She had been tasked with creating a family tree full of branches outlining our family values – what we believe is most important to our family.

We discussed it over dinner blurting out different thoughts: “we take care of each other” (dad); “we respect each other” (me); “we love each other” (Mario); “we listen to each other’s words” (Ri). Ri decided that “we listen to each other’s words” was our most important value because it encompassed all of the other values: when you listen, you take care of each other, respect each other, and love each other. Wise beyond her years.

I thought of this time together as I read the New York TImes article about creating your family mission. The article outlined a study which found that the more children knew about their family’s history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem and the more successfully they believed their families functioned. Children’s emotional health and happiness increased when they knew more of their family history.

A-ha! Jon and I had finally found a study that confirmed we did something right (I remember going back to work after RI’s birth and reading studies about moms who worked outside of the home being prone to hyperactive and obnoxious kids and bawling my eyes out). There isn’t a day that goes by that Maria and Mario aren’t begging us to tell them a story about their childhood, our childhood, our parents’ childhood. They love the story of Jon taking forever to walk home because he had to stare at all the trees or me crying my eyes out because I missed the Brady Bunch. They love hearing how Peepaw used to make furniture and Grandpa Ionno used to write stories and Grandma Lolo used to pump Ri’s legs to get her to poop and Grandma Ionno used to rock Mario to sleep and Grandma Meg used to read wise books to Ri.

The study also recommended that parents convey a sense of history by passing down traditions – the hokier the family’s tradition, the more likely it will be passed down. Oh, we got that covered, too. We have hokey, we have normal, we have in-between. We check our stockings on St. Nick’s Day, we draw pictures of what we are grateful for at the end of the day, we look for candy and toys in the back yard on Easter, we head to Kings Island every year, we have a family bash on New Year’s Eve, we buy chips and pop for the ride home from Cincy.

So, I may have hyperactive and attention-deficit prone children from my 9-5 job but at least they will have self-esteem and be able to stand up for themselves.

Dentist Round Two

February 28, 2013February 28, 2013Leave a comment

And so we returned. But this time to a pediatric dentist in Dublin named Dr. Harring who was sent from the heavens, I’m quite sure. After a most hellacious experience a couple of months ago, this dental trip was a piece of cake. Jon had taken him a few weeks ago to an initial consultation with Dr. Harring and really liked him. It was at this time that he found 6 cavities in Mario’s mouth as well as a tooth that needed extracted because it was infected. Lovely. Just stick that “Mom of the Year” pin on my chest. I will never forget that sinking feeling I had when Jon texted me with the news. I was sick the rest of the day.

But then perspective opens up and you realize all you can do is move forward. And so we did. We promised Mario a Skylander and a a package of $4.99 coins for Heroup.com if he was a strong boy and stayed still. I ate a gallon of peanut butter chip ice cream the night before his appointment.

Spider-Man and I showed up at 9:15. The dental assistants loved his outfit. The waiting area has video games and toys to keep the kids busy. Nice touch.

The dentist arrived shortly after we walked back and hooked the laughing gas onto Mario, turned on Scooby and all went smoothly. At one point, Mario started waving his hands in the air and talking nonsense about the Scooby show. The doctor told him the gas should be relaxing him but Mario said “no way, I am hyper!” I asked the dentist to describe how Mario feels with the gas and he said it’s like us drinking two glasses of wine. Now the arm-waving makes sense.

I cringed when the dentist pulled Mario’s tooth but thanks to the gas and a boatload of novocaine, Mario felt nothing. He high-fived the dentist after it was over and bragged about going to get a Skylander. I told him that I wasn’t sure he needed a Skylander since the procedure was so simple. He told me I promised him. A deal is a deal – I will know next time (seeing we have at least two more visits to fix up those teeth – I am the toothbrush nazi every morning and night after this insanity).

We drove straight home because Mario decided he wanted to buy 2 $4.99 gold coin packages rather than a Skylander. When I went to try and buy them my credit card would not process. So I got irritated and restarted the computer and tried again. The second time it went through immediately. Then a screen popped up and told us our first try went through so that pipsqueak got $20 worth of gold. He loved that.

I called Patty to update her on the appointment and she had news for me when I told her how much I hate taking Mario to the dentist.

“Mario told me the other day that he loved going to the dentist because he got toys afterwards and got to stay out of school.”

I think I’ve been taken by that boy.

I knew my daughter would be…

February 18, 2013February 18, 20133 Comments

I always doubted when parents would say “I knew my child was going to be a veterinarian when….” Really? You gathered that your daughter would be a vet when she rubbed a kitten’s belly and it purred?! It seemed more the parent’s wish than the innate skills of the child.

But that skepticism was blown to pieces when Maria brought Jon and I together to resolve a spat we were having. Ri had overheard us bickering and came to the rescue. We had been bickering about something she didn’t need to know about so I made up something when she asked the problem. She sat Jon and me down opposite one another and had me explain the issue.

Me: “I wanted dad to take me to lunch today and he couldn’t.”

Maria: “Is that true, dad?”

Dad: “Yes, bu-”

Maria: “Hold on. Just answer the question, dad. Now mom, when did you tell dad you wanted to go to lunch?”

Me: “I called him at lunchtime.”

Maria: “So you waited until lunch to tell him you wanted to go to lunch? Do you understand he has work to do?”

Me: “Well he’s usually available.”

Dad: “I have asked your mom to lunch a bunch of times and she always says she’s too busy.”

Maria: “Really? Is that true, mom?”

Me: “Yes.”

Maria: “Then it seems that dad has tried to go to lunch with you in the past and you’ve always said no. Does that seem fair to get mad at him because he was working and couldn’t take you today?”

Me: “I guess not.”

I am an attorney but I have no particular desire to have my kids go into the profession. However, after the cross-examination from Ri, I can definitely see it. If she does become a lawyer, I will look back at that moment in time and say “I knew my daughter would be a lawyer the night she sat my hubby and I down…”

Then again, I could probably say the same if she became a psychologist or marriage counselor because after her grilling of us she gave us advice on spending time together by finding a place where I could eat chocolate and Jon could eat a sandwich and we could be together for a while alone.

Piece of work, she is.

Riding the see-saw

February 17, 2013February 17, 2013Leave a comment

Behave as if tomorrow is your last day.

So that has been my motto the last few days. I had to figure out something that would make me pay attention to all of the wonders before me: my hubby and kids, my family, my home, warm socks, Lucky Charms cereal. I had such a maddening couple of weeks at work that I lost balance and found myself on the low end of the see-saw that was stuck in the mud on the ground. I’d come home to kids who yelled “Mom!” and I would put on a smile for them but as they ran away to get a game to play or show me a cool toy, my smile vanished and I stood in the room all funked out. It didn’t help that I got my hair cut in those same maddening work weeks. I went to a new gal and told her I wanted bangs.

“Just make me blond and give me bangs – what the hell,” I told her one night after work.

Usually stylists are hesitant to make that move, especially if you are a new client. But this gal had bright red hair, tattoos everywhere, and quite a few piercings so if I told her to go for it, she was going for it – no questions asked. She completed her work and I wanted to sob. Yellow canary hair and straight, straw-like bangs. I couldn’t have looked less attractive. We took another hour and a half to tone down the yellow but I still walked away feeling like a mix between a monster and an 80’s punk rocker. It didn’t help that when I walked in the house, Jon’s mouth dropped and all he could say was “Oh My God.” Actually, he said one more word after that. “Thor.” Yeah, he called me “Thor.” I couldn’t really remember what Thor looked like but I knew he was making fun of me. A few minutes, he called me into his office with the kids. He had a picture of “Thor” on his computer screen, and pointed to it. The kids felt my pain and responded “that does not look like mom, dad! Only his hair looks like mom!” I wanted to crawl into bed and not return to society.

But alas, within a couple of hours, I was laughing with them about my hair and putting it all into perspective. It’s just a haircut, heh? Really, so I look like a male warrior, it could be worse. Not sure how, but it could be.

And so I decided this weekend that I would turn myself around – change my negative thinking and get on with it. I am now back on balance somewhat. Riding close to the middle of the see-saw. I even managed to handle a trip out to Dover on Saturday with Jon, the kids and Patty and Joe. I was a little frantic about the trip on Friday night because I wanted that day to prepare for Jon and I’s Cancun trip. I had also found out from Vicki a few nights earlier that the baby shower we were heading to (hence the trip to Dover) was going to have 100 people and be three hours long. Baby showers are those necessary evils that you must attend because a baby is going to be born! When you are the mother-to-be, it is the greatest ever. When you are a guest, it can be taxing at times, especially when there are 60+ gifts to open. But the visit went much better than anticipated. I got to spend time with Patty, and the kids got to torture her in the backseat by making her watch Homer Simpson iPad games and color rulers. We got to eat cupcakes and talk to Vicki and look at all the sute baby clothes that Stacy got. Maria got to sit next to Bianca and listen to her and her friend talk about random things like make-up, hair and boys. She was mesmerized. There were a few other little girls there ranging from ages 3 to 10. Maria was ok playing with the three-year old because she just held her around the lobby but she was completely awkward around the 10 year old girls. I had to stand out in the hall with her for 20 minutes making conversation with the other girls (who were just sweet as can be). When I finally told Ri I had to go back ot the party, she stood out there a few more minutes but then came back inside. She eventually went back out in the hall after some prodding and had a good time with the girls but she is not the chatty-kathys like Patty and me. She has got her dad in her in that area. She has always been one to choose to hang with the adults – even when she was three years old. It is that old soul in her.

We went back to Big Mario’s and Vicki’s house for some wine and some trampoline jumping (yeah, be careful mixing the two). After an hour or so talking with them, we drove home in near white-out conditions at times. Luckily, Jon drove. Patty and I kept the kids busy (she read an entire Aesop’s Fables book to Mario and I made up stories with Ri) until we got home. Then we ate more cookies and cupcakes and went to sleep at 9:30.

We woke up on a frigid Sunday morning and made chocolate chip-peanut-butter pancakes and eggs. It was heaven. I read them a few facts from the newspaper as we ate (the Pope is resigning; the economy is looking better; the Underground Railroad Freedom Center is in Cincy and we need to go soon). At one point Mario looked up at me with chocloate chips caked around his mouth and all over his hands. I almost let out an exasperated sigh but some other force came over me and I laughed. I laughed hysterically, which caused the kids to laugh hysterically. We couldn’t stop. It was marvelous. And awakening.

The moment took me to the high end of the see-saw.

Bugs, cousins and grandmas

February 10, 2013February 10, 20132 Comments

Mario got the horrid bug first. He woke up on Wednesday morning complaining that he felt like he was going to throw up. We’ve all been fighting colds so we told him it was just mucus build-up. Within five minutes of dismissing his complaint, he was violently throwing up in our bathroom. His whole body trembled as if an alien possessed him. He cried and begged to not throw up anymore. If there are two people who hate to throw up, it’s Jon and Mario. So guess who got it next? Yep, Big Jon. Poor things. Mario wanted me by his side for the entire day holding his hand and rubbing his back. I willfully obliged. Jon wanted left alone with good reason. They both got over the crux of it within 24-48 hours, thank god.

I woke up Saturday morning feeling funny and ended up in bed all day. I didn’t have as bad of symptoms and with lots of sleep, I think I have dodged the worst of it as I write this on Sunday afternoon.

Mario had his buddy Quinn over while I was held up in bed. Those two played Skylanders for three hours – only taking breaks to eat Mac-n-cheese and wrestle. Quinn is a dream playmate for Mario.

Later that night, Quinn’s folks took Mario for dinner and a movie. Jon and I were so bummed not being able to take advantage of a night out alone with me still ill and Jon recovering. Instead we sat in the family room and watched National Geographic and felt like we were 85.

Meanwhile, Maria was having the time of her life at Grandma and Grandpa Ionno’s house with her cousin Alana. I am so glad Patty took them for the weekend because they are seeing less and less of each other as they get older. They are making their own friends which is great but I don’t want them to lose sight of each other. This is a little taste of the dress-up party happening up north…

Maria’s tough self never got the bug. She was fine leaving her family in the infested house and escaping to her grandma’s house. She got treated to Tim Horton’s (a girl’s morning out on Saturday) and to spaghetti and meatballs and to Grandma’s fine attire and shoes!

Jon’s reaction was priceless when he opened this picture Maria sent him.

“Holy cra-!”

My sentiments exactly. Sweatpants and sweatshirts for that girl from now on.

Hittin’ the jackpot

January 30, 2013January 30, 20131 Comment

Jon and I hit the jackpot with our kids. No doubt about it. Sure, they may be rather animated at times and want to butt their way into many a conversation but their warmth and depth and compassion bring me to my knees.

Last night, instead of playing Skylander or having a friend over, they gathered clothes and books to take to the Overflow Homeless Shelter. We drive over and dropped off our items and ended up staying for a half hour because Mario was making the male staff members crack up with his dancing and Maria was engaged in an in-depth conversation with the female staff members about school. As we walked out, they both thought of ways we could help out next week.

“Maybe we could get blankets so they stay warm.”

“Could we bring them coats so when they have to leave in the morning, they won’t be cold?”

Ri has always had that caring soul instilled in her. Since she was three, she has always been willing to give her stuffed animals away to children in need. Mario, well, he needs a little more teaching. But he is coming around. He likes to give his time to others and loves to make people laugh.

I was so proud of them last night.

Then we wake up this morning and I come out of the bathroom to find Mario rubbing Ri’s back because her tooth hurts. I asked him what he was doing and he looked up at me as if I had no reason to be surprised by his actions and says: “I’m taking care of my sissy.”
8 am rolled around and Ri engaged in her usual sergeant drills pushing Mario and I to hurry up. But when she saw Mario struggling with tying his shoes and heard him plea with Ri and me to watch him tie them, she let go of the time and watched him. Indeed, she even video-taped him so dad could see “what a big boy Mario was this morning.”

Yep, no doubt about it, we hit the jackpot with these two pumpkins.

Cincy weekend

January 29, 2013January 29, 2013Leave a comment

We finally made it down to Cincy two weekends ago over the MLK holiday (we talked about MLK on the trip down and what an impact he had on the civil rights movement; Maria explained to Mario how unfairly black people were treated and how MLK helped change the world so people would be nicer to each other). Sarah and Jorge ended up in town, too, because Sarah was interviewing Grandma Menkedick’s friends for a school project.

It was the normal tornado of a trip. Mom and I made big plans to take the kids and Gracie to Union Terminal for the kids museum. Maria had begged to head to the train museum and funhouse but I told her I wanted to go downtown. We got to the Terminal, spent $6 on parking, walked inside, and found a line that snaked nearly the entire one side of the Terminal. An hour and a half wait. I wanted to cry … or hot someone. Although Union Terminal is only 30 minutes from my mom’s house, it feels like hours when you have to drive down I-75. We trudged back to the car and headed back up I-75 to the train museum. The kids were not disappointed at all. Mom and I did pretty good keeping our frustration inside if us. Mario made us laugh after I said I had to pee; he pointed out an “outhouse” on the side of the road for me to use (it was a port a potty for construction workers).

The train museum provides about a half hour of train viewing (it takes all our might to get the kids to stand still to read the plaques) and a half hour of play in the jungle gym area. I think Ri and Mario are getting too old for it. But they lived vicariously through Gracie.

The area that they really wanted to go to was the Fun House. It had the obligatory cardboard cut-out that the kids could put their faces in. Grandma Lolo situated their faces just right in the hole so they really looked like tiger trainers.

I had been through the Fun House once before when Laura introduced us to the museum last year. It scared me too death, especially the House of Mirrors. I felt claustrophobic and trapped. It was Maria’s favorite. I warned mom about it and she was equally fearful. But the kids were full-on ready to go.

We hit the “easy” areas first. The Clown room only made you feel sick with the slanted rooms. Next we hit the curtain room, which I forgot was just as bad as the mirror house. Mom and I were hyperventilating by the time we found our way out (thanks to Ri and Mario). Then we went to the Hall of Mirrors and continued to be horrified. Way too much for us to handle. The kids laughed hysterically at mom and me running into mirrors. Finally, we agreed to the Cosmos House which was kinda cool but at the end it had two huge black cushions squeezed together mimicking a Black Hole. You had to push through them to get out. Ri was the only brave one. The rest of us went out the Exit door. Mario finally got the guts to do it if I held his hand and once he did it, he wouldn’t stop.

Before we left, Mom braved the Hall of Mirrors one more time with Mario (quite a feat!) and I went through the Black Hole cushions. Yea, we’re tougher than we think. As a reward, we got ice cream and chips at the concession stand.

Mom and I felt like we had been out since 6 am when we returned home. She went for margaritas with Sarah and Jorge and I went to Julie’s to hang out with Liz and Grace and M&M. We got LaRosas – I’d take LaRosas over margaritas any day. The kids play great together at these ages; Grace still let’s Maria baby her to some extent and Grace laughs her head off at Mario which he soaks up. We topped the night off with UDF ice cream and cozying up with Sar and Jorge in mom’s basement.

The next morning we got to see Maggie and eat pecan pancakes and goetta thanks to Julie. Goetta is pure heaven and a treat not known by many people in Columbus. I grew up with it in Cincy – pork and oats all fried up . Yum! After filling our tummies, we went back to Grandma Lolo’s and she got out random small boxes and soaps for Ri to smell. This has been a tradition since Ri was born. Smelling soaps. They sit on the upstairs floor and lay them all out. Meanwhile, Mario was in search of cash. He found coins in Grandma’s jewelry case and asked her if he could have them. She said he could have a couple. He responded with “how about two handfuls?” She agreed to one handful. His right hand was spilling over with money.

She then showed him a dollar coin. He wanted it. She said she’d give him a dollar bill. His response: “could you give me ten dollar bills? She replied “how about two?” He said he’d take three. She walked downstairs chuckling and commented “your son is quite the negotiator.” As we packed up our things, Mario held tight to his money and even kissed it at one point. The 2013 Gordon Gecko.

My mom was getting on her coat and gloves to take Lou for a walk in the park so we decided to head out with her and leave from there. We needed some crisp Winter air before our two hour drive. The park looked like a scene in a fairy tale. Bright white snow balancing on the tree branches and blanketing the water in the pond. No one but us running through the woods and climbing up the ladders to the slides.

We kissed Grandma and Lou goodbye and headed back to our Columbus home. Dad was waiting for us in order to take M&M to gymnastics. I got the duty of heading to the grocery store to pick up dinner. Man, I wish Columbus had LaRosas.

Weekend wrap-up

January 27, 20131 Comment

Big Mario, as we affectionally call our Italian cousin, celebrated his 60th birthday last night with a surprise party at a restaurant near his home in Dover. Jon, the kids and I drove to Dover yesterday at 3 pm in order to be there by 5 and avoid ruining the surprise by pulling in at 5:30 with Big Mario. I was feeling a little “puny” (as Patty calls it) on the way out but the birthday sheet cake boosted my spirits. Ri enjoyed dipping her fried chicken in ranch dressing. Mario enjoyed crooning with Larry, Mario’s friend and the singer for the evening.

Mario was truly surprised and grateful. He went around hugging family and friends. All of his kids made it to the party, which I’m sure meant a lot to him. Jon and I always crack up at Big Mario and how much he wants his kids to stay around him. He would have them all live in his house with him and Vickie if he had his way. On the other hand, Jon and I are dreaming of the day M&M go off to college…. Ha.

Mario was fascinated with Larry’s singing set-up and just stood next to him most of the party. Larry let him sing at one point and Mario chose “Gangum Style.” A little different than Moon River. Maria sat with some older women and listened to them gossip. Her favorite activity at these events. I can just see her gabbing away when she’s 60 years old as she sips her coffee and eats her pie.

We got home at 9:30 and I went straight to bed with M&M. Usually I can sleep off these funks. I felt a tad better this morning. We stayed in and made pancakes and eggs. Ri and I had to improvise on the chocolate chips for the pancakes since Mario ate the rest of the baking chips. We cut up Hershey Kisses into small pieces and added them. Not bad.

Mario saw a dinosaur exhibit at the Convention Center on tv so we decided to give that a whirl. They advertised bouncey houses and dino digs and mining areas. It was $16 admission but I figured we’d be there a good chunk of the day. Maria brought Janira so $50+ dollars later we were looking at mechanical dinosaurs. And that’s all we were doing. It was the biggest rip-off. They had a quarter of the area cornered off with mechanical dinos and the rest was a few bouncey houses and dino digs. The problem was that you had to pay another $20 per kid to play in those areas. Unfrickenbelievable. I was so irritated. So, in the end, I paid over $50 to see ten dinosaurs. We were there less than 30 minutes.

The other parents walking out with me were just as pissed. And I felt for a lot of them who told me they saved up to come only to have their money wasted on nothing. I complained to the people taking money about the false advertising but that was like talking to air. Whatever, I made myself let it go but those dino promoters will get theirs someday.

Ri and Janira had begged to sit in the massage chairs prior to the dino exhibit and I had said no. When we left, that was our only saving grace. Mario treated the girls to a massage ($1 each) and they were in heaven thanking him over and over again.

So, what to do at noon on a winter Sunday? I tried to get them to head to Barnes and Noble but they wanted a bouncey house. The only place I could think of was Galaxy Games and Golf. They were game. I think half of Columbus was there with us and it didn’t help my headache at all but the kids did expend some serious energy. Somehow that still doesn’t tend to equate with an early bed time, however.

And now, a pizza, cookie and coke later, we are heading home for some relaxation and some Spa Science in the tub. I’m hoping that Ri can create an elixir to take all my winter cold aches away, and make my stomach feel better after that delicious meal at Galaxy Games and Golf.

Love to munchos

January 17, 2013January 17, 20131 Comment

Love to my munchos:

I loved reading to you last night. Mario, I wanted to eat you up when you laughed hysterically at the dinosaur holding a sword. Maria, I wanted to stop time when you laid your head on my lap and squeezed your arms around my leg.

I loved that you both didn’t throw a fit when dad and I asked you to take a shower! How pleasant it was to not deal with pleas of “just five more minutes before a shower!” Mario, you crack us up with your hair washing trick. You’ve always been so scared of shampoo in your eyes so you brilliantly came up with a Mario maneuver. You strategically place a wash cloth in the middle of the shower. You put shampoo in your hand. You close your eyes and rub shampoo in your hair. You reach down, eyes firmly shut, and grab the wash cloth. You put it over your eyes. You put your entire body under the shower head and let the shampoo wash out all over your face. You remove the wash cloth and yell “See mom, I protected my eyes from the shampoo!” You beg Maria to watch the entire process, and then dad (Ri gets a snapshot!). Your hair is sufficiently washed, I’d say.

And Ri, you crack us up with your intense joy. When I walk in to check on you, you are standing in the shower patting your belly. You have a huge grin on your face. I ask what you are doing and you start belly laughing. “Mom, what do you think I’m doing?! I’m taking a shower!” What a card you are. Then you get out and pat your belly some more all the while cooing to it “I love you round belly, I just love you.” You run upstairs and grab your beauty gadgets to do my hair. You dash back into the bathroom looking like a mad woman and scream “Come on lady, you need a new hair-do!”

And I loved putting you to bed last night. I love that you enjoy foot massages, Ri. And Mario I love that you sit on me like a little Buddha statute and want me to read you a million books. I love your quiet selves, sleeping like little bear cubs. I watched you both last night while you laid conked out and wanted to eat you up. How awesome that I can walk 20 feet and lay witness to such perfect little munchos.

Dreaded Monday mornings

January 14, 2013Leave a comment

I really think there should be a two-hour delay every Monday morning. We are never prepared for Monday morning. You’d think we partied all weekend by the way we sluggishly rise and mope around the halls looking like we just lost our favorite puppy. And god help the one that actually tries to be upbeat.

“Hey there sourpuss! Put a smile on your face!”

“Ahhh! Get away from me!”
“Stoooooop. Ugh!”

Or just the dreaded stare of evil. It’s safer to just be quiet and move on. Get the day started in silence.

We have gymnastics on Monday nights now so the day ends on a much more lively note. There are smiles and pleasant conversation and even wild laughter as they exit the car and head to class.

So, on second thought, maybe we just need to sleep through Monday mornings and afternoons and start the week at 6pm with gymnastics and smiles.

"MOM!"

Adventures in the Life of a Working Mama

Category: life