Category: Outdoors

From Rocks to Waltzes

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One aspect of my upbringing that I most cherish is the fact that my parents gave me such a breadth of experiences and viewpoints.  My dad took inner city kids out on hikes in the Ohio forests, my mom appreciated beautiful artwork and running; my step mom harbored a passion for writing and funky music.  I am committed to providing that same breadth of experience to my kids.  

Maria and Mario debating which rocks can be thrown in the river versus taken home

Our Sunday morning began with a trip to the river to throw rocks and a jaunt to the woods to play amongst the trees and our Monday night ended with a bike ride to the dance studio to watch professional dancers waltz across the newly polished hardwood floor. 

Sunday morning is our donut morning. I pack up the kids in their pj’s and we stroll down to Tim Horton’s.  You know you eat at a place too much when all of the staff members know your name and what you want to eat.  Maria inevitably gets her rainbow sprinkled vanilla donut and Mario chows down on five chocolate timbits.  This Sunday we got a special treat.  There was a half marathon course running right past the Tim Horton’s.  We got to watch men and women run by us as we stuffed our faces with dough and sugar.  Nice. 

I told the kids about how much I relied on cheering by-standers when I ran my races.  That struck a chord in Maria and she started yelling “girls beat the boys” as the runners raced by.  Unfortunately, all of the runners passing by were men.  Mario, of course, had to point this fact out to her with the quip “he was not a girl, Maria, he was a boy.”  However, within two minutes of Mario’s statement, we saw a woman pass by and Maria chimed in again “Girls beat the boys!”  Mario got her back by shoving her and Maria got him back by kicking him.  Lovely.  Luckily, their attentions got diverted by a stray cat walking outside in the parking lot.  

After the donut shop, we drug our tired selves out to the stroller (watching those runners whooped us up (or maybe it was the massive sugar infiltration!))  and headed down the street to a bike path that led to the river.  

Maria being the good sport and watching Mario's 25th toss in the river

The little bank we stopped at is perfect for the kids.  Maria can pick up rocks to take home to our garden and Mario can throw a zillion rocks in the river.  I had yet another moment at the river where I thanked the stars above for giving me Maria first.  She is so good with her brother.  Mario must have said twenty times “Maria, look at this throw.”  Now most people would ignore Mario after two or three throws but Maria stops what she is doing, watches him, and exclaims “Cool Mario!” And even when she has no desire to watch him after the twentieth time, she will still throw a glance at him right when she needs to so Mario thinks that she is watching.  What a trooper. 

Maria deep in her massage (notice eyes closed and all!)

After collecting a handful of rocks, we left to head home.  On the way back, the kids decided they wanted to visit the trolls in the forest.  There is a little woods about a mile from our house (close to a home we thought of purchasing a few months ago and didn’t – slight regret) that is perfect for the kids.  They can run around in it and not get lost.  We can make up stories of trolls and fairies.  We can play hide and seek.  We can balance across fallen logs.  We can look for worms.  Mario collected acorns for the trip home and Maria asked about the trolls and where they sleep at night. Mario is a little more hesitant!

After all of that rock throwing and hiking, we needed a good massage.  Luckily, there was a masseuse on the streets of Grandview giving a “mini massage” to try to get business that day so Maria convinced me to take a load off and hit the masseuse up for a shoulder massage.  After I finished, Maria stood up out of the stroller and quipped “I am next!”  Of course, Mario could not resist if his sis got one.  So, there we are, the family massage on Grandview Avenue. 

When we got home, Jon had a surprise for me.  He was taking the kids to his cousin’s house for a fishing escapade so I could work and relax.  Ahh, the most wonderful gift I could ever receive on a Sunday afternoon.When I told Maria I was going to take her picture, she jumped off her bike and got in this pose!

Smiling Mario on his bike

On Monday night, the kids jumped on their bikes to ride up the street.  Mario is intrepid but when it comes to crossing the street, he becomes hesitant and cautious.  He stops ten feet back from the street, looks both ways, and then looks at me and says “I’m worried about cars, mommy.”  There could be a car five blocks down the street, and he will wait for it to pass before riding.  Maria gets exasperated with him. 

Hot times on Grandview Avenue

We finally made it to the top of the street and decided to go in the dance studio.  They sat on the couch and became mesmerized with an instructor and his student.  The two of them were doing a waltz around the studio.  The kids were in awe.  They got up every few minutes to try out a move they witnessed and then sat back down and continued watching.  We probably could have stayed until midnight – they just loved it.  When we left, I was fumbling around looking for my money, and when I looked up, the pose to the left is what I saw.  Maria reminds me of a female James Dean with her suave leaning pose.  Oh, how they make me smile!

The Relief of a Good Drop-Off and Night with Family

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Sitting on our bed post ready for school

I took Mario into daycare today with Maria.  We had a pretty good morning with a healthy dose of tv, waffles, play, self dress, and more tv.  I got home from my run and the kids were already dressed so they got to watch another show while I showered.  Mario also scored a cereal bar on the way out the door since I did not know how much he ate for breakfast.  On the way to the car, we stopped and looked at Cy’s poop , which is always a source of amazement and disgust (“Mom, do you smell it?!”).  Maria was once fascinated about it but she has since “grown” out of that stage and now just rolls her eyes each time Mario points it out as if she is 13 years old dealing with her babyish 2-year-old brother.  Mario also got to open the car door himself and get in his car seat himself.  Some mornings he could care less if I help him and other mornings when I go to swoop him up into the seat, he screams and cries as if a horrific, disgusting sea monster had just grabbed him with its tentacles and taken him out to sea.  He flails his body and growls and cries “Nooooo!”  And he can never recover.  He gets so angry that he cannot let go of the emotion for a long while.  Much longer than the time it takes to daycare.  So, this was a good morning because he climbed in the seat himself.  We sang “Free to Be You and Me” all the way to school, which really put me in a pleasant mood since it brings back times of my childhood. 

We pulled into school and took our time getting out of the car (another necessity because any type of hurried behavior can set Mario over the edge, too).  I kept telling Mario about all the fun things they were going to do at school today like water play and telling time.  Maria even helped me out.  She can totally read when I need her to help me.  As we walked down the preschool hall, I chirped “everyone wants to be in Mr. Parks’ room!”  Maria looked at me and without hesitation exclaimed “I wish I could be in your classroom, Mario – that would be cool!” even though I know that she really would not want to be in that classroom.  That is my girl. 

We got some animals from Maria’s room that Mario loves to play with and took them to his room.  Finally, we waltzed down to Amanda’s room to say to his old teacher and then waltzed back to preschool.  After all of that, Mario stood in his classroom as I said goodbye and did not ball and wail and cry hysterically.  Yippee!  It only took an extra hour of time and nonstop codling.  We are set now! 

Seriously, though, I do think I would stand on my head on a bed of nails in order to see Mario happy in his preschool room.  It just makes my day so much easier.  I can get more done, my mood is up, my mind is uncluttered.   Jon has drop off duty tomorrow so hopefully it will go just as well.

The kiddies from our weekend get together where they learned how much fun the hose is to play with in this heat

We had a great night tonight with visiting brothers and sisters-in-law and nieces and nephews and cousins.  Maria’s two older cousins, Emi and Elly, are fantastic to have around because they are so good with Maria and Mario.  M&M adore them, too.  We also had Maria’s newest cousin over to the house, Dagmawit.  Jon’s brother, Kevin and his wife Margie adopted her from Ethiopia recently and it was her first time to visit us.  She is a gem of a kid.  She and Maria are very similar in personality – opinionated, direct, and strong-willed.  Maybe it has to do with their moms’ personalities! 

Mario in his dress, headband, make-up and shoes - What a trooper!

The girls dressed Mario up in girl clothes and smothered him in make-up.  Mario is the good sport through it all even modeling for us as he came outside.  Maria and Dagmawit got dolled up by Emi and Elly.  After dinner, they all threw on bathing suits and played in the baby pool with the hose.  The adults actually got to talk together for an hour without being interrupted every 15 seconds.  Very strange….

I love nights like tonight – surrounded by family, good food and drink, great conversation, laughter.  The night even ended well with Maria and Mario on my lap in the rocking chair making up stories about baby bunnies and giraffes who fall in love.  Life is good.

Weekend days

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Mario in his nightie on the slide

Mario has learned to write a “M” and an “A”.  He is so excited about his achievement.  He ran in the house from the porch where he had been drawing with his chalk and screamed “Mommy, come!”

“What, Mario?”

“Just come mom.”

We ran outside and I saw the magical letters scratched into the cement.  “Good job, buddy!”

“Are you proud of me, mom?”

“I am so proud of you baby!”

His face opens up into a giant beaming smile and he struts inside to grab his dad’s hand.  This is too good for anyone to miss.

Maria’s over her alphabet and has moved onto things such as fake press-on nails.  Yes, I gave in at Target and let her buy a pair.  Don’t know where my head was at the moment. 

Maria "posing" as usual these dyas, on the swing (sans fake fingernails!)

(Actually, I do know where it was – it was spinning like the Exorcist from trying to shop for things I needed while trying to watch the two rascals well enough that they did not get snatched by some awful monster lurking in the store.  When will the day come when I can let them go ont heir own and meet back up with me? Never.).     

We did get some quality family time in yesterday at Mario’s farm.  We took a walk/four wheeler ride through the woods and climbed on some gigantic rocks while “Mooing” at the cows below to try to get their attention.  The walk pleased me so much – I loved looking over and seeing Jon smiling at me and the kids running through the trees laughing and being goofy.  And the best was the dinner waiting for us when we returned – Vicki is an amazing cook and she did up some pasta and meatballs and homemade bread and elephant ears.  I sware that is why I always weigh five pounds more on Monday morning!

Today we went to the donut store and then to the park for a little slide and monkey bar action.  Maria went off to Mama Ionno’s house to spend a few days with her cousin Alana.  Both are counting down the days before Kindergarten and their “loss of freedom.”  Mario and Jon and I stayed around the house – Mario took a three and a half hour nap in our room.  Fans blowing on us, sun beaming in the window, Mario’s sweet face right next to mine on the pillow.  A piece of heaven on a Sunday afternoon.  

Brother and sister laughing and playing - rare moments to remember, indeed!

The Beauty in a Touch

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The rascals ready to head outside

Maria and Mario have been giving us a run for our money lately.  Jon and I have threatened on a few too many occasions that we are going to send them off to a deserted island to make it on their own.  I think they are at the point of agreeing to such a proposal. Maria asked me tonight whether Jon and I would agree to let her move in with a boyfriend if she had just gone on one date with him.  Yeah, I am not kidding.  Age 5. Yikes. Of course, at this point, I am ready to bellow “yes, go!” but I restrain myself knowing that my mind is warped from too many jigsaw puzzles and barbie dramas.  I look so forward to the weekends but by the time 7 pm Sunday hits, I am done.  Cooked. 

Me and the babes posing for the camera

The family did have a good weekend this past weekend, however. We went to “Big Mario’s house on Saturday afternoon to go fishing.  Mario had fished with Jon a few weeks back and Jon thought it would be great to have the entire family out on the dock fishing.  He got poles, lines, bait.  We got to Mario’s, said our hellos and then headed down to the dock for some good ol’ fishing.  While we waited for Jon to get the poles together, we threw catfood into the water to attract the fish.  Mario cracked us up with his utter joy in seeing the ripples formed from the fish grabbing at the food.  He would see a snatch and his eyes would bulge out, his right arm would shoot up, and he would exclaim “look mom!” Precious.  Maria just wanted to put her feet in the water and move them around in the mud.  She has always been sensual – feeling the silk of her blankie, soaking her hair in the bath.  She loved the feel of the mud on her feet.  After Jon got the poles together, he brought one to Mario.  He clung to me and yelled “no, mom – I am scared.”  Huh?! Jon informed me that during the last fishing trip, a catfish’s barb had gotten Mario and so he may be gunshy (or hookshy?) now.  That he was.  He wanted nothing to do with fishing.  Well, one down. 

Maria and her dad with their catch

Maria gave it a try.  Within 5 minutes, she and her father got a catfish.  But after that one, she became bored because the fish did not bite right away.  Poor Jon.  So much for our lovely family outing.  I gave them a bath (they adore Mario and Vicki’s bubble bath tub) and Jon continued his fishing all alone.  We did have a kickin’ pasta family meal thanks to Aunt Vicki who made meatballs, homemade bread, and zucchini muffins with icing.  Yum! 

On Sunday, we hosted Grandma Lolo at Stauf’s.  What a time that was.  My poor mom.  She had bad allergies and then the kids were insane with energy and goofiness, and would not sit still or give us a moment to talk.  I was ready to strangle them both but there were too many people around.  I continue to struggle with allowing them to talk and express themselves at the table (I am not one of those parents that think kids should be silent at the dinner table) but not allowing them to be rude and interruptive.  

Sibling love

When we got home, I told Jon I was ready to go nuts.  He had his talk with them (“You will listen to us” with Mario responding “no, I will not.”).  We all went our respective ways to cool off.  It worked because within fifteen minutes we were off on a run in the stroller through Grandview.  Maria and Mario brought their coloring and sticker books and Maria played teacher with Mario telling him how smart he was and how cute he was 9. 

We rushed down to COSI when we got home for Maria’s friend’s birthday party.  Jon and I watched Mario while Maria went to her private room.  He had a blast.  We decided he is definitely going to be a mountain climber or an extreme sport adventurer.  He climbed up these wood decorations on the outer part of the steps and did not miss a beat.  There were nooks and crannies that he needed to step in or avoid and he was right on.  It was hilarious.  And he wanted no help.  If he did not get it right away, he kept trying with all of his heart.  He does not give up.  Maria had a blast with her friends and was fine being on her own for two hours. 

We came home and called it a night staying around the house.  Mario had a few meltdowns because he failed to take a nap during the day.  He hit me a few times, also, which promptly led me to place him down and walk away from him.  Within three seconds of being put down, I hear “MOMMMMMY!” along with whimpering of “sorry mommy.”  He laid next to me on the couch watching a movie before bed, and at one point he placed the inside of his hand on my cheek.  I looked over at him and he whispered “I love you mom.”  Meltdown.  That is all it takes to forget the major tantrums he had throughout the day.  He knows the tricks. 

We went upstairs to play before bed and Maria played barbies.  She told Jon that her barbies were models and that they were all “perfect.”  Jon asked her if she thought I was perfect.  Maria responded “no, mom is alright.”  I gave her a sigh and told her that I would rather be smart and funny and engaged in life than be a size 0.  Hopefully that soaks in.  However, she did go on to clarify that these models also went to college.  Ok, getting better.  We eventually got them to bed but Maria came downstairs about a half hour later.  Jon asked what she needed and she said she wanted to tell me something. 

She came over to the computer and said “Mom, I am sorry for saying that you are not perfect earlier.  You are the best mom.”  A second meltdown.  And she got what she wanted – me upstairs laying with her until she fell asleep.  Sometimes giving in is the best route to go.

 

Swimming Lessons, Gay Pride Parade, and Stauf’s Coffee

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Another insane weekend this past weekend but one where we stayed in town all weekend.  It is a miracle.  On Friday, we traveled to Jon’s hometown of Marion, Ohio to the local YMCA to see Maria and her cousin in their swim lessons. 

Maria and her cousin at swim lessons

They took an entire week of lessons at the Marion YMCA, which meant that they got a whole week at Grandma and Grandpa Ionno’s house.  Maria was in heaven.  I am convinced that Jon’s mom, Patty, is the energizer bunny.  I think if I took off the bunny’s suit in that commercial, Patty would be under it.  She has more energy than a 40-year-old (she is 70); actually, she has more energy than most 25 year olds!  She loves taking her grandkids and in a true testament to her, they love staying with her for days on end.   In addition, it is absolutely wonderful to see these two girl cousins build a strong, loving relationship with one another (although Patty has nicknamed them the “bickersen twins” because of the way they bicker at each other through the day)!  

On Saturday,  I took Maria down to the Gay Pride Parade.  I never hesitated taking her down there until I got questioned about it by some close friends. 

My girl playing dress up

“Why do you want to take her down there? “ 

All of the questioners were supporters of gay rights but questioned taking a five-year old to a festival where there may be “strange behavior.”  To their credit, there was “strange behavior” in relation to the norm we have come to expect – topless women, men in bikini bottoms with rainbow hair, women dressed as men, men dressed as women.  But, we did not notice those attributes as much as we noticed all those people smiling, laughing, shouting “hi” as we passed them on our bike, enjoying the sunny hot Columbus day.  

And, isn’t that the most important thing that you can teach a five-year old?  That life is meant to enjoy; that you don’t have to dress a certain way or have a lot of money or act your age (or sex) to have a good time.  I never once felt out-of-place or concerned or embarrassed.  To the contrary, I smiled a lot; I gave high-fives, I laughed.  And Maria did, too.  She did not flinch when she saw a girl walk down the street topless.  She did not point and gawk at the man in his skin-tight rainbow attire and long golden hair.  She just joined in the fun, eating her cupcake and taking in the sun.  

I started to reconsider my decision last night as I lay in bed watching the news.  Should a kid be “subjected” to such an “alternative” world at such a young age?  My answer – why the hell not? Is seeing a topless woman going to make my daughter degenerate or make her run around naked from now on?  Is witnessing two men hold hands as they walk down the street going to turn her into a wicked, warped girl? If anything, it is going to allow her to appreciate and empathize with all sorts of people – rich, poor, obnoxious, clueless, downtrodden, frantic, depressed, enthusiastic….   When she meets that girl in kindergarten who is different from the “normal, popular” girls, she will take her hand and head out to the playground with her.    

Eating ice cream with our bike helmets still on - we can't wait!

On Sunday, we took a stroller ride to the donut shop and chowed down on our favorite morning food.  I really do need to stop this habit but I figure once a week is not going to kill us.  After the breakfast feast, we headed to a woods near our house tucked away in a cul-de-sac in the west side of our neighborhood.  We were able to walk on the trail because it had not rained in a few days (the last time we arrived, it was like a swamp).  We strolled back to the railroad tracks and picked wild flowers.  We stood on the wood steps and bowed to Emperor Maria who commanded us to attack the Huns (which Mario immediately took her up on by jumping on his imaginary horse and slaying everyone around).  We looked at spiders and cool rocks, and trees.  I love getting them out in nature – it is such an elixir.  We got home two hours later and had lunch and read books and watched a Little Bear.  Jon agreed to take them up to bed for naps and I got to slip away to Stauf’s for my granola cranberry pancake, my paper, and quiet after a promise to the kids of ice cream later!

Weekends

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Maria and Mario watching the fish at the Conservatory

I love weekends.  Sometimes I dread them on Friday when we have nothing planned and I know the kids will be up at 6:30 am and will likely not nap and will tear up the house and will pee in pants, and will beg to eat bad food, and will talk back to me and Jon.  But then inevitably on Sunday night, I sit down after putting the kiddies to bed, and I reflect on a wonderful weekend.  The past weekend ranked high among weekends where we had the most fun. 

I picked the kids up early on Friday and we headed to Devon pool (Grandview has been closed for a week and a half now – ugh!).  Maria is getting better about jumping into the pool by herself and hanging out while Mario and I play near her. 

Maria going underwater

Mario, unfortunately, has not taken to the outdoor pools.  He gets so cold – frigid – as soon as he hits the water, and immediately hops out.  The good thing is that he keeps himself amused outside of the pool by playing with “noodles” as if they were swords, rolling plastic cars along the side of the pool, and throwing his football to me.  He can usually last an hour or two.  I keep hoping that he will get used to the water – maybe if he puts on fifteen pounds. 

On Saturday morning, we took off to the library to get movies for our trip to Cincy and then headed to Giant Eagle for a birthday cake for Grandma Lolo.  Maria’s excitement soon turned to depression when she realized that there were no white sheet cakes.  She has convinced herself that she only likes white sheet cake even though she downs chocolate and yellow ones at other birthday parties.  Luckily, there were cupcakes in the aisle beside us that were screaming for our attention since the container contained both white and chocolate cupcakes.  Maria regained her excitement and proclaimed “White and chocolate so you and me can be happy, mom!” 

Meanwhile, there was Mario salivating at the muffin case.  “Mom, I want that chocolate muffin.”  The boy is his mother’s son – he would dine on chocolate everything if he had the choice.  I refused his pleads and the tantrum soon started.  He turns himself into a monster, squinting his eyes, balling his fists, and making a “grrr” sound.  He learned that from his sis back in the day.  I have learned to give him one chance to move off of his monster antics and then just walk away.  I had to walk away this time because he really wanted that muffin.  Eventually, he came around the corner to Ri and I, and we left the store for Stauf’s. 

I would have to rank sitting at Stauf’s with M&M as one of my favorite things to do.  We talk about the latest paintings on the wall, the people studying, our plans for the weekend, school, friends, family.  Those times take me through my week.  After Stauf’s, we headed home and into the car.  I realized Mario had his “big boy undies” on when we got in the car, and I thought I would give him a chance to wear them all the way to Cincy without peeing (actually, I was just too lazy to go back in and change him).  About half way down to Cincy, he began complaining that his pee-pee hurt, which typically means he has to pee.  I pulled off the nearest exit and veered off the berm.  I whipped him out of the car and into the grass on the side of the road and he experienced his first road side pee. He loved it. 

We got to Cincy, changed into our bathing suits, and headed to my mom’s condo pool. 

Maria on her "noodle"

Maria, aka “fish”, jumped right in even though the water was absolutely frigid.  She wore herself out by swimming to me (aka going under water and holding her arms out to me), going underwater, and jumping off the side of the pool to me.  Mario, on the other hand, took one step into the pool and jumped back out.  The frigid water was too much for his little body.  He spent the time using the noodles as swords and fishing poles.   He also made his monster faces and pushed me into the pool when I got close to the edge.  We broke for a snack of cheese-its and apple juice.  Mario found his new favorite food in the cheese-its.  He went to town on them. 

Mario chillin with his cheese-its

After the swim, we went to Aunt Julie’s house to pick up her two pups, Butters and Willie, to take them on a stroll.  The kids love to take them for a walk around the neighborhood, and have learned how to pull at their leashes to make sure they heed to their commands.  When they returned, they went to Julie’s basement to play with her doll house while we got to actually talk without being interrupted.  It was comical listening to the conversation between M&M playing with the doll house. 

Maria: “Can you help me put the baby to bed.” 

Mario: “No, I am too busy.”

Maria: “What do you want from the store.”

Mario: “I don’t care.”

Yeah, pretty much a day in most couples’ households!  We got treated to a delicious meal of grilled hamburgers and macaroni and cheese and beans (yeah, we are easy to please!).  We re-named Maria the Indian name “Little Bites” in order to push her to take small bites (she ripped into the burger and macaroni like she was amongst fifteen starving ravages who were going to take her food unless she got to it first).  Mario, on the other hand, had to be force-fed three bites of macaroni and two bites of hot dog.  We hit the road back to Columbus at 8:30 and for once they both passed out before we got home (usually one of the two if not both of them stay awake the entire trip). 

On Sunday morning, we got up and found that we had no pancake mix.  That is a travesty for Sunday morning because Maria and I are used to cooking up pancakes, eggs and bacon for us to eat (Mario helps stir the eggs but refuses to eat our meals).  So, they jumped in the stroller in their nighties and we strolled up to Giant Eagle.  On the way back home, Mario fell asleep (another rarity) so we decided to scrap the pancakes and go for the real deal – donuts!  We headed to TIm Hortons for two timbits each (I do set a limit!), and then back up Grandview home towards home. 

Maria and I had made the executive decision to head to the Conservatory while Mario slept on the trip.  Therefore, when we got home and Mario awoke, we got dressed (it takes a solid fifteen minutes to get dressed since Mario now likes to dress himself and he takes FOREVER and all clothes are always on backwards).   We headed to the Conservatory at 10:45 am.  While we were buying our tickets, a volunteer mentioned that butterflies would be released at 1 pm.  I immediately dismissed the event because I did not think there was any way that we would make it over 2 hours.  However, my children never cease to amaze me. 

Maria and her huge butterfly

It got a little dicey around 11:45 after we walked through all the rooms except the butterfly room (the Pacific Room) and they started to whine that they were ready to go.  But then came the Gift Room with all of its fun toys and a volunteer who asked us if we wanted to see him release a few butterflies outside.  The first one he released landed on Mario’s finger and he was hooked.  He held that butterfly for ten minutes until it finally got up the nerve to break free.  Maria eventually got one to perch on her finger and we learned all about butterflies from the volunteer.  It was such a tender moment.  When we came home and Mario talked about the butterflies, he recanted the words of the volunteer “And you cannot touch the butterflies’ wings because they are like paper.” 

We spent a half hour out in the garden area looking for the three butterflies and trying to catch them.  It was a good preview to the Pacific Room where there were scores of butterflies fluttering around us.  The kids ran after them, leaped to try to catch them, pointed when they came close and shouted “take a picture, mom!”  They amazed us with their coloring and patterns.  We stayed in that room for over an hour admiring the creatures.  I could not believe it. 

Mario and his favorite butterfly

We arrived back home for a lunch of hot dogs, cottage cheese and grapes (I should say the kids came home to that – I came home to ice cream and animal crackers).  Mario went down for a nap and Maria and I headed to Mirror Lake on campus to see Uncle Jack in the play Romeo and Juliet.  He played the Friar.  I strategically planned to get there after about half of the play was over because I knew Maria would get antsy.  It worked out well because she started to get antsy in the last few scenes but she still remained interested asking questions such as why Juliet was sad, why Romeo killed himself, why Jack looked mean.  Great play to take her to, heh?!  She was enamored, as always, with Uncle Jack.  She got to go up on stage afterwards and play out her scenes.  I even gave her a line to deliver and she did it with an uncanny ease.  If there is any profession I could see her in at this moment, it is acting. 

Mario joined us after the play was over for a little fun at Mirror Lake.  We disturbed the ducks and we threw rocks and we got snacks and we sat on the rocks together.  It was pure bliss. 

Mirror Lake Adventure

And that was it – our weekend in a nutshell.  By 9 pm on Sunday, I was exhausted.  My bones ached.  My mind felt like mush.  How wonderful it all was!

The River

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 Maria and Mario and I have a new Sunday morning routine.  I must say it is awesome.  They stay in their nighties (I really wish I could) saunter into the double stroller, and we head down Grandview hill to Tim Horton’s for a breakfast of donuts and bagels (yes, it is more than this venture that is awesome even though donuts warrant my enthusiasm all the time!). 

Mario enjoying his Tim Horton's (picture by his sis)

After throwing down way too many carbs and way too few nutrients (my cousin Amy would be repulsed!), the munchkins jump back in the stroller (and they do “jump” due to that sugar high) and we head down the street to a bike trail that is tucked away in an inconspicuous part of town – right up against the entrance to a highway and a construction area. 

I had gotten off the highway a few weeks ago and saw a man running down the trail.  I had no idea how far back it went or what is was like along the trail.  But, it was something new and we are always up for that.  Running and walking the same trails every weekend can get old.  We started on the trail and within a minute saw a cat shoot across the trail ahead.  I have to use anything I can some days to keep their interest going so the cat’s presence was perfect. 

“Let’s see if we can find that kitten, you guys!”

“Go, mom, go!”

Within 500 feet, there was a rocky embankment leading down to the river.  It was an oasis for Mario who could not believe the amount of rocks available to him to throw in the water.  I promised we would stop on our way back and we continued on for about another half mile running in an enchanted forest along side giant, grandfather-like trees lining both sides of the trail, their leaves hanging above us shading us from the rising sun.  A gem hidden against the highway.  Eventually, we ran into a “KEEP OUT” sign and fence and had to turn around. 

As I promised, we stopped at the river bank on the ride out.  Maria found a beautiful slender rock for us to take home for our garden.  She knows that I am infatuated with rocks so being the darling, generous girl she is, she finds the best for me.  Mario, on the other, hand, had no desire to find rocks for mom – he was jazzed up with the thought of tossing the rocks into the water.  What a beautiful sight to watch him on the bank, balancing on a jagged rock, right hand clenching a stone, releasing, hearing the “plop!” and witnessing the pure joy on his face of a job well done. 

Maria enjoying the water

Meanwhile, Maria walked on down to the bottom of the embankment and propped her fine self on one of the big rocks that immersed half of itself in the water and half on the bank.  She took off her shoes.  She dipped one foot in the water – then two.  I saw her from the corner of my eye and was tempted to tell her “no” because we are talking about the Olentangy River (not the most pristine of waterways) but decided that the experience was well worth the risk of her feet getting diseased.  Maria has completely different expressions than her brother.  I watched her put her feet in the water, run her hand along the river’s edge, access the rocks near her.  She possesses a deep, rich look.  Most girls her age would be splashing around, laughing, screaming “mom, look!”  But Maria contemplates and weighs and muses.  She is much better than her mother at doing that sort of thing.  She has always had that quality since she was a baby (the “old soul” as my girlfriend called her after meeting her once) but she has probably nourished it since she has to deal with her wild, loud-mouthed brother for two and a half years. 

We gathered a dozed small rocks and went on out way. 

My River Rats

We saw our cat again on the way out and bid him goodbye.  On the way out, we picked some wildflowers for the kitchen.  Traveling up Grandview hill, we decided to visit our neighbor at the fire station (she is a dispatcher) and give her a wild flower to cheer her up.  Maria chimed “I wish we had a red flower since she works at the fire station.” My girl. 

We pulled up to our house, and unloaded our river treasure.  Jon was waiting on the porch to hear the kids’ stories about everything they witnessed on our morning trip.

From Perfection to Grief to Perfection Again

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Maria starting the day with her yoga moves

We woke up this morning to a hazy, slightly chilly morning with no rain in sight and a double stroller screaming for a tour through the city.   Jon had gone East for one more try at turkey hunting, which left me for a second day of bliss with my darling children (Saturday had been filled with a three-hour b-day party at an indoor pool – fun for the kids, but afterwards every parent looked like they had gone through that negative gravity machine that Chevy Chase and Dan Akroyd were in for the movie Spies Like Us). 

I was not upset at Jon taking off for the day because it was going to be a gorgeous day, which inevitably lead to lots of bike rides, stroller rides, and walks.  Within an hour of waking, we were on the road in the double stroller with our stuffed monkey and dog, two blankets and obligatory binky ar we are going to get him off that thing by age 3 (it took Maria to 4 ½).  We headed down the road to Tim Horton’s for a breakfast of sugar and dough.  It was heaven. 

Mario enjoying his timbits!

 After breakfast, we headed across the road to a bike trail that we had not experienced because we typically headed down the opposite stretch of road.  The trail was gorgeous.  You felt like you were in a national forest at times with the tree cover and the rivers on both sides of you and the birds flying closely overhead singing their morning lullabies to you.  We stopped at a bank on the river to throw stones into the water (Mario could stay in that place for three hours and enjoy every second of it).  We also snagged some killer stones for our rock garden (Maria knows how much I love rocks and she presented me with a gorgeous red one wishing me a happy mother’s day (yes, she is still celebrating!)). 

We stopped on the way back to pick wild flowers and make a bouquet for grandma.  It was perfect.  We visited our friend Kim at the fire station and presented her with a few flowers, and then went home to get dressed (yes, the kiddies begged to stay in their nighties and I could not resist – they looked too precious on a Sunday morning). 

After a quick change, we hopped back outdoors and the kids jumped on their bikes to head to the little woods down the street (we went at Maria’s request – lately she has been wanting to take walks and hikes, which I immediately agree to in order to get her away from the tv and leapster).   Maria guided us through the woods to the fire station and back down to the park and back up to our bikes all the while finding us walking sticks and cool rocks. 

Maria and Mario enjoying their tree climbing

Mario loved climbing over the giant fallen tree trunks.  They both mentioned a few times while in the woods how they were “getting exercise” to keep them healthy (yes, my influence finally shines through!).  When we got back to our bikes, we were all drained and it was quite the chore to get home.  Maria ended up getting on Mario’s tiny toddler big wheel and Mario on Maria’s bike in order to keep them amused and doing something new.  We get home and all three of us plopped down on the front steps.

“What now?” I said to them.  “I am hungry.”

Maria seconded her hunger while Mario just stared at the ants crawling on the step below.  I suggested macaroni and cheese and Maria agreed at first.  Then, a few seconds later, she piped in with a question:

Mom, how about we get Jeni’s ice cream for lunch?” 

Normally, I would have been rationale and explained that lunch was a necessity before ice cream but it was Sunday, we were exhausted, and Jeni’s Dark Chocolate and Buckeye State ice creams sounded too tempting to nix.  So, off we were in the stroller to Jeni’s for our ice cream lunch.  While eating lunch, we decided the library was the next stop because we had run out of new books. 

The library slurped us up as always and we did not leave there until an hour and half later with new books in tow and a craft that Maria made me for Mom’s Day (yes, again!).  From the library, we walked to Giant Eagle for cheese, bananas, and squeeze yogurt (Mario’s new love – he chose the “I Carly” yogurt because “she is my girlfriend” – nice influence Maria!). 

We traveled back to the house after the grocery, and crashed on the couch with popcorn and a My Little Pony video (which was luckily only a half-hour ong).  I sat on the couch with Maria on one side and Mario on the other and felt that calm elation I get every once in a while when I have been through something great or I have heard a wonderful speech or I have finished an amazing book.  I was so pleased with life. 

Jon got home shortly thereafter, and I got packed up to head to Stauf’s for a bagel and coke and a little “me” time.  As I got my stuff together, Maria asked me to play barbies with her.  I told her I was going to meet a friend for coffee. 

She flipped out. 

She bawled.

 She went boneless.

 She sobbed. 

She screamed at me.  “I don’t like your friend, mom!”

What a grand send-off after a remarkable day. 

I tried to calm her down.  I hugged her.  I told her we’d go for a walk when I got home.  I told her I loved her to the moon.  Nothing worked.  She cried and begged to come with me. 

Ok, so do I take her?  I started to feel like I should or else she may feel like she has been abandoned or not loved?  But if I took her, she may never understand that her mother needs time with friends.  But she does see me go to work every day so she knows I have friends and activities outside of her.  But since I work every day, I should take her with me on the weekends.  And the voices continue and continue… 

I chose to leave and walk to Stauf’s.  It felt necessary to get away for a few minutes but the entire time I felt the pang of motherhood.  Did I scar Maria by leaving this afternoon?  Will she feel abandoned?  Will she be stronger because she knows mom can’t be there with her every second?  Will she be more independent now?    

An hour later, I walked up to the house and saw Maria in the side of the yard. 

“Mom! Can we go on a walk now?” 

M&M watching the circus horses coming down the street

Maria posing with the elephants

No grudge for leaving; no apparent scars; all smiles.  Ok, so maybe I do worry too much.  In any case, we are back to continuing our wonderful day.  Off to see the elephants and horses walking to the railroad from the circus!     

 

The Muscle

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When Maria was at her old school, she had a girlfriend named Belle.  Belle and Maria met when they were infants together in the Infant Room and they moved from room to room together as they got older.  Belle was always, from infant through preschool years, as tiny as a sprite.  Maria, on the other hand, was always, from infant through preschool years, as thick and strong as a professional bodyguard.  She protected Belle as if it was her full-time profession.  If any kid approached Belle, they better be ready to let Maria know what they needed. Maria would make the call of whether the kid got what they needed or had to move on.  And Belle was absolutely fine with this arrangement.  If a kid picked on Belle, she knew Maria had her back and would either have strong words with the kid or toss the kid on his backside. 

Maria and Belle at Valentine's Day, 2007

When Belle had a birthday party at age 3, Maria happily came over to her house.  As we were watching them play, and we noticed Maria strong arming one of the kids so Belle could get a toy of her choice, Belle’s dad stated “That is Maria.  She is “The Muscle.” At first, I was offended.  All of these other little, tiny, frail children in the room with my strong, thick, athletic darling, and she gets called “The Muscle.” But after no time at all, I took it as a compliment.  She protects; she comforts; she is loyal.  

Maria has since left Belle and moved onto a new daycare where there is no “Belle” to protect.  However, she has moved on to a closer blood line.  Her brother.  You could describe him as a little sprite, also.  Or an “imp” as his grandma calls him.  No matter how you describe him, he could definitely use some “Muscle” and luckily, Maria is willing to provide it. 

When the daycare had a family fun night, they got a bouncy tent and the kids jumped in it five at a time.  Maria and Mario waited patiently for their turn, and when they got in, three other kids a little older than Maria got in with them.  One of the kids, a bigger boy, accidentally jumped into Mario as he lost his balance.  Maria immediately swung up her arm and stopped him from knocking Mario over and then shouted at him “This is my brother! Get away!”  She pulled Mario over to the corner of the tent so they could jump in peace. 

Maria watching over her brother early on

When I went to pick up Maria and Mario this evening, Maria was outside on the playground with her class.  They had just taken out bikes and scooters to ride around the playground.  Mario ran outside after seeing this and started crying because he did not have a bike to ride.  I explained to him that it was Maria’s class’ turn to ride bikes and that we could ride one when we got home.  He had nothing to do with me and continued to sulk and cross his tiny arms.  Maria watched all of this and I could see her observing with great intent all of the kids on bicycles on the playground.  After about three minutes, Mario went over to the jungle gym and began climbing.  Just then, Katherine got off her bike.  You would have thought Maria had a firecracker in her pants.  She darted over to that bike and jumped on it yelling “Mario, I got you a bike!”  Mario squealed with joy.  He began to jump on it when another little girl from Maria’s class, Sydney, tried to grab it.  The Muscle was ready for this development, and pushed Sydney’s hand away firmly stating “No, Sydney, this is a bike for my brother.”  Mario stayed in place waiting to see if he could take off.  Maria then called out “Go, Mario, ride that bike!” and so he did.  I caught wind of this whole scenario and told Maria that Sydney should get the bike because it was her class’ turn.  Maria looked at me and convincingly stated “I gave my turn to Mario so he should be able to ride it.”  When I finally made him dismantle, she was still protesting that he should be able to continue to ride it because “he is my brother and he wants to ride.”  Loyal to the end. 

Best buddies

Mario is a lucky sucker to have his “Muscle” around nearly all the time, and the Muscle has had an influence on him.  Although he does not pack it the way Maria does, he is tiny and mighty.  When I or my husband firmly tell Maria to do something or raise our voice at her, he darts in from the adjoining room, jabs us in the leg, and commands “That is my sister!”  Maria is not only the Muscle but also seems to be the Teacher.

The problem is you think you have time.

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M &M enjoying the rain

I facilitated a retreat at my work a couple of months ago and my co-facilitator delivered this quote during one of our sessions:

“The problem is you think you have time.”

This serves as a powerful motivator for me.  It reminds me to do the things in life I sometimes have no desire to do but that in the end always end up adding a little something to my day and expanding my life experience.  Whether it be letting Maria and Mario stay up late to watch a movie and eat popcorn after I have had an exhausting day at work and just want to curl up in bed; reading them one more looonnngg book after I have already read them five before bedtime; or driving out to my family’s house when I just want to take a long walk around the neighborhood and read the newspaper at Stauf’s – it is forcing myself to not succumb to the gravitational pull of my tired or indulgent self.  

Let’s face it – between working full-time and taking care of two youngins, I get tired and I want some self-indulgance.  No doubt, there is a time and place for that.  But there also is an understanding that time is fleeting.  I want to spend it well enough that when I am 75, I am able to look back at my 30s and 40s and think “I led a pretty exciting, adventurous, fun-filled life and took full advantage of my days.”    

Take the kids to the park, have lunch with that old friend, spend some quality time with my hubby in the evening. 

Saturday was a rainy, chilly day and we were all inside doing random tasks.  Jon’s parents were down and they decided to go to the nursery for fertilizer.  As Jon and his parents were leaving, Mario stepped onto the porch to say goodbye.  I went out to grab him, and looked down at the sidewalk.  Big puddles.  Lots of mud and sticks.  What could be more fun to a kid? 

I rounded up Maria and Mario in their rain gear and their rain boots and off we went.  I knew Jon and his folks would come back shaking their heads and I knew I would have my hands full taking off all of their dirty clothes, carrying them up to a bath, scrubbing them down….  but hey, the problem is you think you have time. 

M&M with their worm friends

By the way, we not only got muddy and wet, but we found two wiggly worms to examine and hold.  Does life get any better?